cw: starvation diet, body insecurity (i should’ve put this before, my apologies)
“eat."
the word rang out with the harshest echo at its back, cold and sharp– just like the eyes that held yours right now. you knew that levi was irate, you knew that somehow you had made him livid with you, but the last thing you expected upon being summoned before him in his office was to see a tray of food slammed down before you, with him towering over your seat, emitting hellfire in waves off of his skin.
"what is thi–”
“isaid‘eat’,” he pressed with murderous intent, and the blankness in his eyes made you so terrified that your fork was in hand before you could pull in your next startled breath. “say another word before it’s empty and i’ll make you regret it.”
what a night. what a damned night for your worst fears to come into fruition, and in front of him, no less. eating was already enough of a struggle for you to carry out without feeling abhorrence at yourself. doing it in front of someone else was the absolute substance of your nightmares.
and surely enough, those depreciating thoughts began to fizz and cloud up in your mind, sticking to every corner you couldn’t reach to scrub them out, and where they could ceaselessly bring you torment over your deepest insecurities. levi was already pissed enough at you. here, any remaining attraction to you would dissipate into revulsion the second he saw you stuff your face.
“you should’ve thought about not wanting me to watch you before you decided to be an idiot.” he cut through your thoughts like he was psychic yet again. honestly, you were beginning to form your suspicions about that… to be addressed at a later time.
“levi, this isn’t–”
“i suggest you find your mind wherever you lost it and address me properly, cadet. i am your goddamn captain."
his voice was so dark and cold, like you were nothing to him. you’d never seen or heard him be this hostile toward you. it was honestly terrifying. you felt like you needed to ask him if he even still knew who you were… to tell him it was only you… you tried your best to say it through your eyes because his delivery was… incredibly hurtful.
still, you corrected yourself. painful words or not– he was right, and you had misaddressed him. "captain,”
“why in the hell have you not been eating?” he asked in the same, dangerous tone that felt like he could lunge over the table at any moment, “you honestly thought you could skip meals for two days and it wouldn’t get back to me?”
“i’m sorry.” you could only weakly say, and to your knees rather than to his eyes.
“you think that means anything to me,” he responded, emphasising the word so much it clenched your heart… as if he may as well meant you instead of your apology, “i could give a shit about you being sorry. i asked you why you would intentionally starve yourself.”
“it isn’t something i can explain so easily, captain,” you answered. he could hear how desperate you were in your tone, but he didn’t care. levi couldn’t care. all he could care about was your safety. you were the last thing he could hold on to it the hell of this world, and you were actively trying to rob him of you. and unfortunately, his rage at whatever entity that tried to snatch his lover from him would always be the same, even if that being was you yourself.
but that was something he couldn’t explain so easily either. so his harshness was all his love could yield, to your broken feelings and bruised heart’s end.
“you better think of something. you have until that tray is clean.”
“captain,” you begged to him, wanting him to look at you instead of through you like he was now. you needed to see that he was still the same man you loved just earlier today instead of this one who could barely stand you. right now you were just horrified that you’d finally managed to push him away enough to lose him.
…god, hadyou?“i’m trying to tell you–”
“shut your brainless fucking mouth, put that fork in it and eat.”
your jaw fell slack. his voice was so hard it echoed in the room. and it was all he was left with after his shocked stare watched you look at him in complete, heartbroken horror, then storm out of the door.
you had to. you were humiliated enough, you couldn’t take crying in front of him now. you had your answer anyway.
Request from anon: Hey there! I recently found your blog and i love the content <3. May I request a fluffy scenario or hc, (in canon AU) where levi overhears the reader talking to hange about how much she loves him please?
Genre: fluff
Warnings: none
A/n: I loved this request! Thank you for sending it in & I hope you enjoy
—————
Levi moved silently down the hall, not wanting to disturb anyone as a result of his own inability to sleep. If he couldn’t get some rest, he figured a cup of tea would suffice. His restless legs carried him into the kitchen where he set to work preparing his beverage. He’d just set his kettle down to boil when he heard a familiar voice carrying in from the mess hall just on the other side of the door.
Levi felt his chest tighten. A anxious pit had opened up in his stomach, an almost foreign emotion to the famously level-headed captain, as his mind took off running with scenario after scenario of what you could possibly be concerned about.
“I sound stupid, right? You can tell me to shut up, honestly,” you pulled out the chair across from Hange, who was seated at the a table in the empty mess. “I just didn’t know who else I could talk to about this.”
“Have you considered talking to him about it?” The brunette cocked an eyebrow as she leaned forward, crossing her arms atop the wood of the table. “I mean, you’re gonna tell him, right?”
“How? I wouldn’t even know how to start that conversation,” the trepidation in your voice didn’t go unheard by either pair of ears that they fell on. “What if he doesn’t take it well?”
Who was the ‘he’ that Hange was referring to? Was it him? What could you possibly not want to talk to him about?
The pit grew deeper, bubbling up ideas that he didn’t want to give any attention to, but they were practically screaming at him. Each insecurity that he had locked up so tight was now climbing out of it’s hiding place and he swore he could feel the claws of every last one of them swiping at his insides.
His world was shaking, threatened by a foe that wasn’t even confirmed to have exist. The sheer thought of anything coming between you and him was enough to turn him into this mess of himself that he refused to recognize.
He took a deep breath, steeling his nerves to quell the thumping pulse in his ears, so that he could press one to the door and listen. His eyes closed in a soundless prayer, hoping that whatever he heard through the barrier wouldn’t knock the air from his lungs. Finally grounding himself, his focus returned just in time to realize that he had missed whatever the spectacled woman had just said.
“Just tell him that I love him?” You shook your head, unaware that you had indirectly just confessed your affections to the man in question. “I wouldn’t even know how to go about it.”
You sighed, leaning back in your chair as you folded your arms over your chest. Meanwhile, just in the other room, Levi’s heart had risen from the sunken pit in his stomach to take root in it’s rightful place as a warm, welcome feeling spread throughout his chest. His breath was trapped in his throat, caught there upon hearing your admission as he didn’t want to let a gasp slip out, lest he alert you to his presence.
“I mean, he’s just so..perfect,” your thoughtful expression was trained on the table as you let your thoughts flow freely. “He’s obviously out of my league, physically. Both in skill and appearance. He seems so intimidating, but really he’s just so soft beneath all those layers of sarcasm and indifference that he puts up for everyone. I know he may not seem like it, but he really does have a way with words. He always seems to know just what to say somehow. Ugh, and he’s so attentive. I honestly feel bad sometimes, because he’s still so mysterious even to me sometimes and then he’s already mastered this way of knowing exactly what I need before I even realize it. I love him so much that it’s actually starting to scare me, you know? I just don’t want to scare him off because of it.”
Hange smiled softly as she placed both of her palms flat on the table. Her lips parted to convey her response, but both of you were suddenly put on alert by a high-pitched whistling that was coming from the kitchen. You furrowed your brow as you stood, making your way to the door while Hange came up behind you.
“Hello? Someone in here?” You called out as your fingertips pressed against the door.
Levi jumped back when he heard your boots click just on the other side of the wood that still separated you, muttering curses as he hurriedly tended to the now boiling kettle of water.
“Levi?” Your eyes shot open as they fell upon his frame and a sudden realization of just how surprisingly thin the castle’s walls were hit you. “What’re you doing here?”
“Killing titans, what’s it look like?” His lips shifted into a soft smirk as he stared back at you.
From her place behind you, still in the mess hall, Hange’s eyebrows raised, an excited grin replacing her previous expression of concern.
“Well, would you look at that? If shorty’s up, it must be past my bedtime,” she spun on her heel, waving one hand up to signify her departure. “Good night, you two.”
You glanced over your shoulder to watch her leave through the far entrance of the mess hall that you had arrived through together and then turned your attention back to Levi, who unbeknownst to you was just as nervous as you were.
“Did you, uh,” you stepped completely into the kitchen, keeping a short distance between you as your eyes fell to the floor. “Did you hear any of our conversation?”
“Why? Is there something that you were afraid I’d hear?” He finished pouring the water into his tea cup and set it aside as he leaned back against the countertop. “Were you and four eyes gossiping about me?”
“No!” You put your hands up in front of you, shaking your head as you looked back at him. His expression was softer than you thought it would be, but it didn’t do much to silence the nerves of yours that were called to attention. “I mean, no I would neve—“
“Never talk about me behind my back?” His eyes glinted with a playful edge as he stepped toward you, his arms reaching out to catch you around your waist, pulling you close to him. “Because from what I did hear, I would consider that to be a blatant lie, brat.”
You wanted to disappear, to slip away and out of his arms, so that you could run and hide from the impending embarrassment that was about to rain down on you. Shrinking away as best you could within his grasp, your eyes found anywhere else to look but upon his face as he watched in bemusement for just a moment, not wanting to torture you any further. His voice was soft as a feather when he spoke again, your chin captured between his thumb and forefinger as he directed your eyes to his own.
“I love you too, you know.”
It felt like your heart had stopped, too overloaded with the feeling of joy that his words brought you, until it began thumping again so loudly that you were afraid you might scare him away from you. Your hands moved to the space between his neck and shoulders as you searched his kind, grey eyes, looking for confirmation that this was real and not some cruel dream that you were having.
That confirmation came by the way that he smiled when he cupped your face so delicately in his hand, his thumb brushing over your cheek as he studied your features with a look that you thought only existed in the books you read. One so full of love and adoration that it shone through someone. Telltale signs of their pleasant affliction present on their lips and rooted deep behind their gentle eyes. You tried in vain to pause time, wishing that you could just stay here forever with him as his lips met yours.
You had shared too many kisses to keep count of, but this one was different. This one felt permanent. It felt like a quiet promise that was shared only between lovers. A kiss that some people wait a lifetime for and that some people are never able to find. And here you were, sharing in this sweet, silent promise with Levi. Sharing a kiss that felt like forever.
“I love you, Y/n,” his left arm wrapped around you, holding you close to him as his right still held your face, his eyes unable to leave your own.
“I love you too, Levi,” you watched his lips turn up in the most genuine smile that you had ever seen them form as you returned his expression, leaning into him to capture his lips, tasting another glimpse of forever.
“What is that smell?” Y/N hums out, furrowing her brows as she walks down the stairs and into the kitchen area. She covers her nose, an appalled look on her face as she sees smoke fill the room. A quick opening of the windows and doors. She glared towards Porco, who stands at the stove with tongs and hot oil splashing everywhere. “Jesus! Porco, what the Hell are you doing?”
He leaps back in surprise at the oil jumping out of the pan and towards him. “I—I’m cooking dinner! The fuck does it look like?” He retorts in a rough tone, loud. He suddenly gets oil on his hand, making him pull away from the stove. “Shit! Ugh, I fucking hate this.”
Y/N lets out a big sigh, grabbing a towel and walking towards him. She pushes him away from the burning stove, placing the towel on his arm before turning the fire down easily. Porco frowns at her in distaste, wiping the oil off of his skin.
“I can’t believe you’re 23 and don’t know how to fry things.” She scoffs out, taking the tongs from his hand as the oil calms down. She pulls out a very crisp and burnt piece of tempura. A dreaded look on both of their faces. She glares towards the drummer from Marley. “Oh my God. Porco. Where is Pieck?”
“Grabbing something at the store.” He replies, sitting on the kitchen counter, “Pieck said to fry it until it was brown.”
“You sure she didn’t mean golden brown?” Y/N huffs out, not bothering to look at him. She wipes the oil off from the counter.
Porco squints at her before pulling up his conversation with the vocalist of his band. Oh. “Ugh, whatever. She’ll be back soon, calm your shit.” He grunts out, turning away from her.
Y/N rolls her eyes, grabbing another piece of tempura to fry. She dips it into the oil gently. “You should be thanking me, you could’ve burnt the house down, asshole.” She huffs, annoyed, “Do you always need a babysitter? Is that the real reason you got sent here?”
Porco throws his towel at the back of her shoulders. “Shut the fuck up, you got sent here with your babysitter as well.” He scowls, watching as she picks up the towel and glares back at him, “If you’re so good at cooking, then why don’t you cook dinner, huh?”
In return, Y/N slaps the towel against his crossed arms. As he yelps at the contact, the bassist turns back to the oil and checking on the food. “Lazy bastard. You still gotta’ help.” She huffs out, hand on her hip, “Can you at least get off your ass and make the sauce for the tempura? The ingredients are on the bench there.”
Porco goes to argue and say he isn’t lazy, but ends up just rolling his eyes and slips himself off of the marble top. He slides passed Y/N, mumbling about how annoying this was. He grabs a saucepan from the cupboard and turns on the stove beside her. As the water begins to boil, Y/N pulls out the tempura from the oil and onto a plate with the previously (kind of burnt) pieces. She continues.
“I was wondering what was taking so long for dinner to be ready.” She huffs out, tilting her head towards Porco beside her. He closes his eyes and breathes in, and out. “Do you live alone?”
“Yeah.” He responds.
“Wow. How the Hell are you alive if you can’t even cook?” She says, surprised. He clicks his tongue at her. “Let me guess, you order takeout every dinner and spend your mornings at someone else’s house so that they can make food for you?”
He hates how she already knows how he lives. “You know what?” He grumbles out, “How the fuck would you know?”
“Because that’s literally how I lived during university.” She claims, pulling out tempura and putting some in, “I was too busy to cook so I leached off Armin.”
Porco doesn’t respond to that. He only makes a mental note to pick up some recipes when he gets home. Maybe he shouldn’t be ordering takeout every night.
It’s quiet between them for a while. Until Y/N speaks up again.
“Do you really think I’ve got no stage presence?” She questions, still irritated by his statement.
“I don’t fucking know, I don’t watch your live performances.” He argues, shaking his head and stirring the sauce. Y/N glances at him from the side before frying the last pieces of tempura. It goes quiet again. He sighs loudly. “Zeke watches Paradís. I didn’t even know you guys existed until that stupid New Years party.”
She chuckles at that, “I only know you because you’re on Jean’s hitlist.”
“I’m on his what?”
“He hates any drummer that isn’t him.” Y/N clears up, putting the finished tempura on the plate, “I’ll admit, after you made fun of me, I watched some of your best live performances. Gotta’ say, I wasn’t impressed. Hell, even Reiner has better stage presence than you.”
“Fuck off.” He scoffs, shrugging his shoulders at her before taking the sauce off the heat and putting it into four separate bowls, “You’re so pesky.”
“Intolerant asshole.” She mumbles back. Porco angrily opens the utensils drawer, pulling out what they needed while speaking under his breath about how he hated her so much.
A small smile lands on Y/N’s lips at his reaction before they fall into a silence once more.
A couple minutes later, the food is ready and the two of them are setting the table. They don’t bother saying anything to the other. Y/N sets the glasses in the wrong spot, Porco fixes them and she puts them back. The two glare at each with with such hatred before the door opens.
“I’m back! I got some drinks, but no alcohol since Y/N and Jean are practicing while on vacation.” Pieck sings out, walking into the dining room to see the both of them standing her at opposite ends of the table. She looks between the two. “Oh? Were you helping Porco cook, Y/N?”
She retorts, rubbing the back of her neck as she sets the tteobokki down, “Uh, mhm. He burnt a whole lot of the tempura though.”
Porco throws a tissue at her.
“Oh my, is that true?” Pieck gasps, looking over to see the tempura. It’s correct. She looks towards Porco, who crosses his arms over his chest. “It’s alright, Porco, I know that you don’t cook very often.”
“That much is evident.” Y/N chuckles.
“Shut up, loser.” Porco grunts.
“Enough, you two.” Enters Jean from the basement, where they were previously practicing. He looks towards the table. “Oh, that looks great. Good job, Y/N.”
“Thanks.” She smiles, flipping off Porco.
Jean then takes a seat after Pieck and Porco do, making sure himself and Y/N sat on the other side of the table from the other two. He glances between the two cooks, wondering if earlier was just the two being passive aggressive or not.
He watches as Y/N asks for the tteobokki, which is on Marley’s side. Porco squints at her and sighs loudly, moving the bowl the tiniest inch closer to Y/N. She stares at him. And gets up to throw the empty plastic bottle of soda at his head.
“Hey!” Jean gets up as well, taking the bottle from her hand and jabbing her in the side, “Stop that, you dumbass. Just eat and then go to bed, it’s late.”
Y/N huffs back at him, “Fine.”
“And Porco.” Pieck sighs, tilting her head to the side as she hands the bowl of tteobokki to Y/N, “You said you’d be nice.”
Porco looks at Pieck quickly before staring back at his food. “Whatever.”
The four sit in awkward silence as Porco and Y/N stare daggers at one another.
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
“Okay Armin, I think you’ve had enough.” Y/N says, a small smile on her lips as she pulls his freshly open beer bottle out of his hands. He was more of a wine guy, but Eren said that he had to try something new for the new year. Dumb idea, but Armin fell for it. Y/N hands the bottle to Jean, who happily accepts. “Do you even know where we are?”
The blonde nods his head, leaning towards Y/N beside him pointing at her lazily. “We… are at a party. And you, heh, tried making out with Eren’s brother…!” He sang, a laugh going along with it.
Eren throws a chocolate wrapper at Y/N. Mikasa shrugs her shoulders as she drinks from her glass. “I mean, he isn’t wrong. You’ve clearly got a thing for older men.” She says, making Eren and Jean nod in agreement.
She rolls her eyes and puts Armin back into his chair. “Whatever, you guys can babysit him. I’m gonna’ go get some fresh air.” She states, standing up with Armin trying to follow after.
“Don’t be gone too long, countdown is starting soon.” Jean warns her, taking another drink. Y/N throws him a thumbs up.
As Eren takes hold of his best friend, he calls out, “If I see you talking to Zeke—”
She flips him off.
Ymir and Historia were a well-known couple. Historia featured in countless movies and Ymir’s worked as her manager. For their fame, there was always a loud and huge party to accomodate. Y/N kept in contact with Historia and Ymir, having gone to the same high school like the rest of them. She’d seen Sasha, who was now the owner of a highly-acclaimed restaurant. Annie worked as a fight choreographer and taught self-defense on the side. Hell, she’d even seen her upperclassman Bertholdt around here, and he worked with animals.
It was very nice to see everyone in the same place again.
Y/N was guilty though, she was in fact seeking out Zeke. Part of it was because she’d never met another band member who played bass. In her two years of playing music, she had only encountered an instrumental band tonight. Others were purely singers. It was nice to have someone to relate to on a work level. The other part of her was looking for Zeke because Eren getting angry is pretty funny.
Y/N checked her watch. It was 11:56 now. Midnight would strike soon. Her plan was to just say a quick ‘happy new year’ and go back to celebrate with her friends. She wanted to be polite, and also return the pick he was showing to her that she didn’t manage to return.
Mikasa said they should probably leave after the countdown, so she didn’t have any other time to return the object.
So she heads towards the glass door to the balcony, where she thinks he is.
11:58, she bumps into someone else.
“Oh, I’m sorry—You’re Y/N!” A woman with dark hair says, stepping away from colliding with her shoulder again, “My name is Pieck, I’m the singer from Marley. You’ve met our bassist, Zeke, right? Do you think he’s attractive?”
Y/N blinks at her before forming a gentle smile. “Zeke? Oh, um, I suppose. I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you.” She says, shaking her hand quickly, “You look amazing tonight, I should say.”
Pieck grins back, placing a friendly hand on Y/N’s arm. “You’re too sweet. You’re looking beautiful, as you always do.” She compliments, “The band sees Paradís’ live performances on YouTube a lot, Zeke likes to keep up with his brother’s news.”
She can feel her face heating up. Pieck was so nice to her, she didn’t know what to expect. She could sit and talk to her for hours, but Y/N finds herself rejecting the idea. “That reminds me, do you know where Zeke is? I have something of his that I need to return.” She states, showing the distinct pick in her palm.
“Oh, he’s just out that way. The other balcony.” Pieck responds, pointing to the left.
11:59 already, closing to 12, she thanks Pieck and makes her way through the crowd forming in the room.
10!
It’s decently filled, all for the countdown that had begun for the minute to pass.
9!
People are pairing up and Y/N is keeping her eyes on the pick in her hand.
8!
She hears Historia cheering loudly and some flashes go off. People are filming and taking photos.
7!
Over some shoulders, she sees that the TV is streaming the city fireworks show.
6!
She looks up for a second as her shoulder collides with someone, making the pick fall from her hand.
5!
A small noise leaves the person’s mouth as they see the pick fall as well. They catch it quickly.
4!
“Why do you have this?” He mumbles out, furrowed brows as he inspects the familiar object.
3!
“I was just returning it.” She replies, looking back to the person she had bumped into, “Can I have it back?”
2!
He raises his brow at her before slowly placing the pick back into her palm.
1!
“Thanks—”
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Cheers right out across the room.
Someone accidentally knocks Y/N’s back and she’s nudged forward, resulting in Porco steadying her out with a hand holding hers with the pick, and the other gently on her upper arm.
“Jesus.” He grunts, looking around to see people kissing and cheering for the new year, “It’s like they can’t see anything.”
She retorts, shrugging her shoulder, “Everyone is drunk off their ass.” Then, she gets a good look at the man in front of her. “Oh, you’re Porco.”
“Mhm.” He huns half-heartedly. Y/N raises a brow at him before ignoring it. Maybe he was just pissed off that he missed the countdown. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves.
Y/N looks around as well, standing up straight and clearing her throat, “Sorry again.”
He huffs back, peeling his hands from her, “Yeah, whatever.” And walks off.
’That was rude,’ She tells herself, squinting at him, ’I guess Jean has good instincts about people. Porco’s kind of mean.’
“Did I miss the countdown?” Zeke questions, standing beside her. He smelt like smoke, invading the area.
Y/N responds, “Yeah, sadly. Just met your drummer, he seems to be in a bad mood.”
Zeke waves his hand dismissively, fixing his glasses. “Oh, you get used to it. Porco always got something to whine about.” He recalls, making her grin.
“Right, uh, here.” She says, dropping the pick in his hand, “I forgot to return it, and we’re leaving soon. It’s was great meeting you, Zeke.”
He nods his head, watching her walk off. “Tell Eren I said 'hi’, we should catch up.” He says to her.
Y/N chuckles, “Will do!”
When she makes it back to her friends, Jean tosses her jacket over her shoulders. “There you are, idiot. Come on, we told Ymir that we’re going since Armin is dead-ass drunk.” He says, nudging her to the exit.
She watches as Mikasa and Eren holding Armin up by his shoulders, apologising to other party guests around them.
“That poor guy.” Y/N says, slipping her jacket on, “He’s gonna’ have such a big headache later.”
“The fucker stole Eren’s drink when he left to grab some water. I swear to God, I’ve never seen a guy down a beer so quick.” Jean states, shaking his head, “Happy New Year, by the way.”
Y/N smiles. “Happy New Year, Jean.” She says back, giving him a gentle side-hug.
The car ride is pretty funny, considering how drunk Armin is. It’s been nearly half an hour of this entertainment. Their private driver has had to shut the window between him and the passengers because Armin keeps trying to distract him. Eren pulls out his friend’s phone, going on some game and handing it back to him.
With Armin distracted, the others can rest. Y/N is asleep on Mikasa’s shoulder, out like a light. She’d spent so much time catching up with other people, she exhausted herself out. Mikasa was also tired, but awake, Eren trying to keep her warm as Jean watches Armin’s Twitter Feed.
Something catches him eye, making him pull out his own phone to check for himself.
“What the fuck…?” He murmurs.
“What is it, horseface?” Eren questions, earning a kick from the drummer. But he sees anyway, the newest tweet from one of the country’s biggest news pages. “Are you kidding me?”
Mikasa’s turn to read. She squints her eyes for a bit before sighing out, “That’s so stupid.”
“There’s gonna’ be so much talk today.” Jean sinks into his seat.
The three of them hear Armin giggling in his spot. And a few seconds later, they check their phones to see a tweet from Armin wishing everyone a happy new year.
summary:y/n, the bassist of the band 'paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
(summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.)
summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
summary:y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.
A/N: Oh my goodness, it’s the last chapter hsiglsdfj this fic felt so short but also so incredibly long I don’t know how to explain it. Anyways, I don’t have much to say other than THANK YOU for sticking around for this story, I love you guys so much!! I hope you enjoy this last chapter :))) (also I was preparing this post to post it on friday but I’m just gonna do it rn, fuck it)
Chapter 7
“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised.”
The words were spoken in monotone, flat and dry, easily reflecting the true feelings of their speaker. They weren’t filled with anger, hurt, or disdain. But rather sounded like someone making a simple observation. Like they were commenting on the weather, or something else unimportant. However, this didn’t stop Eren from standing abruptly out of his seat in a fit of surprise, Y/N following closely behind.
“Zeke. I—” Eren stated at the sight of his brother, his whole body catching on fire from the shame of being caught. A familiar feeling from their childhood. He always resented the times when his older brother would always get him in trouble with their parents. Only this time it felt far worse.
His brother held up a stern hand, effectively silencing his younger brother.
“I had a feeling something was going on between the two of you.” Zeke stated, matter-of-factly. Y/N refrained herself from scoffing. She could hardly believe that he would hold the same air of pretentiousness even when he caught his fiancé kissing his own brother. But she didn’t say anything, Y/N stayed quiet as he continued.
“I first suspected it that very first night.” Zeke said, as if he were unraveling the clues to a mystery rather than exposing an illicit affair, “It was obvious how you felt about one another… Eren you only ever act as such a fool whenever you’re around a woman you deem attractive.”
“It’s not solely based on attractiveness—“ Eren stammered, but his brother interrupted him once more.
“I’m not looking for interjections.” Zeke snapped. “I simply want to know how long it has been since you’ve shared your affections.”
“How long it’s—?” Eren started again, but he couldn’t finish his sentence, as he had been interrupted yet again. But not by his brother, this time Y/N spoke up, her voice surprising the other two occupants in the room as if they’d forgotten she was there.
“Don’t you care?” Y/N asked, her voice sharp with unexpected anger. Both Zeke and Eren stared at her dumbfoundedly.
“Care?” Zeke responded, with a pretentious laugh, “Care about what?”
“You have just stumbled upon your fiancé in the arms of your own brother.” Y/N answered, stepping out from behind the pianoforte, “and yet, here you are, acting as if it doesn’t affect you.”
“Tell me, Miss Y/L/N, why should I care?” Zeke said, and she opened her mouth to respond but he kept going with his speech, “I have no concern with what you do in your free time. I only ask you to be a proper wife.”
Y/N let out a groan of frustration, bordering on a scream as she stepped closer to her supposed husband-to-be, “Is that truly your only reaction to this?”
“What do you expect from me?” Zeke asked, his own voice raising, caught up in Y/N’s anger. Eren’s mouth hung open as he watched the two of them, his eyes darting back and forth between the two figures. He felt like an outsider. It felt lonely. And it made him scared of the end result of this confrontation.
“I expect you to get angry!” Y/N practically yelled, “I expect you to act like a living, breathing human being and to burn this house down, to feel betrayed, to cry! Anything!”
Zeke stood there, saying nothing as the girl went on. She moved closer towards Zeke. Eren wouldn’t be surprised if she grabbed him by his lapels, shaking him until he found his senses. But she only fumed in her own anger, glaring at the blonde man.
“But yet you do nothing!” Y/N spat, “It’s as if you don’t feel anything!”
“I didn’t expect much happiness out of a life that forced me into an arranged marriage. Especially one that was so loveless. But I at leastexpected you to care.” She said, her voice cracking by the end of her sentence. She now stood in the middle of the room, her shoulders filled with tension, her nostrils flaring, her breathing heavy. Zeke simply just looked at her.
“Are you finished?” He asked, and this time Y/N did scoff, crossing her arms to try and shield herself from his cold demeanor. Zeke seemed to pay no mind to her own discomfort, and continued on with another one of his infamous lectures.
“I am certain we are all well enough aware that this marriage was more of an economic proposition than anything else.” Zeke said as he removed his glasses, calmly wiping them on the edge of his shirt and then placing them gently back on his face. “So, no. I do not care if you share affections with my younger brother. All I ask of you is to keep that part of your life private. Keep it out of the public eye, and I don’t see why we should have to put an end to our union. As long as you give me what I want I see no point in denying you the same right.”
Eren held his breath, waiting to hear what Y/N had to say. He already knew his own answer as relief flooded through his form. He couldn’t believe that this was the outcome of his brother finding out. Was he really going to let them continue on with their relationship? Eren could feel how the hope that burned into ashes just moments before was now flying free, rising like a phoenix. He would be able to keep his promise. Y/N would never have to bear the pain of losing him, and neither would he. But as he turned to look at the girl, the beating heart in his chest fell flat once more as he registered the tears that were swimming in her eyes.
“How despicable.” She whispered, her eyes trained on the ground in front of her. “You want me for status… For my father’s dowry… But that’s all it is, isn’t it?”
“Do you wish for me to want you for more than that?” Zeke questioned, raising a brow. Eren kept his eyes locked on Y/N. Waiting for her answer. Praying she says no. Because if she doesn’t, if she reveals this whole time that she had been longing for Zeke’s affections, Eren didn’t think he would live to see another day. His hands started to shake as Y/N hesitated.
“I wish for a marriage that isn’t as soulless as the one you are offering me.” She whispered, her eyes flickering over to Eren. It happened so fast that he didn’t fully believe that it actually happened. Maybe it didn’t. Maybe he was only searching for what he wanted to see.
“Well, then I apologize.” Zeke stated. “I can’t offer you anything different… And as it turns out, you don’t have much room to ask for such.”
Y/N stared at him. Zeke stared back. And Eren watched as his own happiness slipped from his grasp. Just like he predicted.
“Fine.” Y/N said. And before another word was said, before anyone realized what was happening, the girl was gone. Disappeared behind the swinging door of Zeke’s drawing room. Zeke barely had time to register what was happening, and soon he was blinking in surprise at the sight of his brother’s back, also disappearing out the door, following after her.
~
It was raining again. It was almost funny how the weather always seemed to know exactly when Y/N was lost within her troubles. She thought back to the last time she was caught in the rain. Her heart was thundering just as loudly as the world around her when she confronted Eren. And then he kissed her. And she was happy. It felt as though that night was decades ago. Like it was a moment that was now lost with time, that she would never be able to return to.
Somehow that thought had urged her to step out into the rain. Hoping that the familiar rainfall would wash away her troubles, and bring her back to a moment where she felt on top of the world. So she did.
The rain instantly soaked her skin. Seeping through her dress and drenching her hair. The one thing she found out about Marley was that when it rained, it poured. And that seemed to be the extent of all events that happened in this distant city. And now here she was, letting the rain fall over her head, hoping that it would wash her away. She shut her eyes against the gray sunlight, it’s usual shine muted by the rain clouds, forcing herself to feel nothing. Maybe the cold would cause her to grow numb, and maybe that numbness will stretch over to her feelings as well.
“Y/N.”
She didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. There was only one person besides her parents that called her by her first name. Y/N didn’t say anything. But that didn’t deter Eren from talking to her. Soon she felt his presence by her side, his warmth instantly battling the cold of the rain.
The two of them stayed quiet as they stood in front of the side entrance to Zeke’s estate. The rain falling over their heads as their eyes trained on the world around them. Eren was so close she could practically feel each breath roll through his body. She stole a quick glance at the man, she saw how his jaw was clenched, his eyebrows furrowed. He was angry. And she had some idea as to why.
“Why did you say that to Zeke?” Eren finally said, the silence breaking like a wine glass being dropped on a marble floor, his voice riddled with the anger she observed within his irises.
“Say what, exactly?” Y/N questioned, hoping to prolong the time she had to come up with an answer. She wasn’t sure why she said what she did. All she knew was that her heart ached with the thought of her life being taken away in favor of a horrible marriage.
“You confessed your disappointment in Zeke’s proposition.” Eren told her, his eyes snapping towards her. They burned in a glare that Y/N never expected to fall under. She felt herself crumble underneath his stare.
“Is it wrong of me to want more than that?” She breathed, looking down at her hands, not brave enough to look him in the eye.
“Hewasoffering you more than that!” He snapped, practically shouting, “He offered us a chance to be together.”
“Is that really what you think I want?” Y/N replied, her answer suddenly finding her in the middle of a storm. Shifting her gaze back to Eren, to brave the glare that she was still under.
“What have we been doing then?” Eren yelled, throwing out his hands in exasperation. “If you don’t want to take this chance— If you don’t want to be with me, then why are you putting me through this? Were you only toying with my heart? Were you playing me as a fool?”
“Of course not, Eren.” She yelled back, moving in front of him to face him head on. Now it was his turn to shy away from her gaze but she didn’t let that stop her, Y/N kept on talking, hoping that her words could get through to him, “Why on earth would I get involved in this if I didn’t want to be with you?”
“Then what is the problem?” Eren shouted, finally looking down at the girl in front of him. But the soft-hearted look that she was accustomed to was still nowhere to be seen. His nostrils flared as he continued, “Why wouldn’t you take his—”
“—Because I want you to want all of me!” She all but screamed over the pounding of the rain as well as the beating of her heart. Eren blinked at her in surprise. Y/N’s breathing was heavy, her chest heaving up and down as she held his stare. When she had the courage to speak again, her voice came out steady as she willed herself to stay calm after her outburst.
“I don’t want you to have me under some half-hearted agreement.” She said, her words shaking with the anger and disappointment she was trying to suppress. “It wasn’t a matter of wanting more from him. Everything that I could possibly want would fall only to your hands. I want more from you.”
Eren sucked in a shuddering breath. His eyes searched Y/N’s face, and he found the truth he had been hoping for from that fleeting glance she gave him during their discussion with Zeke. Unfortunately the hope that the proposition gave him did not return. Eren thought of their families. Their responsibilities. It was all crashing down around him. He shook his head gravely, as he finally spoke up.
“I… I can’t give you more.” He murmured.”I don’t see any other way we can be together.”
Y/N’s shoulders dropped from his confession. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting him to say. But she didn’t think it would hurt this damn much from an answer that she knew was coming. She nodded, sadly, her tears from before finally falling down her face to mix with the rain that was already soaking her skin.
“Then it might be best if you give me nothing at all.” She said, before turning back towards the house, ready to pull herself away from Eren for good.
“Wait, Y/N—” His warm hand wrapped around her wrist, stopping her where she was. She didn’t turn to look at him. She wouldn’t be able to handle seeing his face.
“Don’t.” Y/N begged, her back turned to him. “I don’t want to live a life where my happiness is kept a secret. My heart can’t handle that.”
Eren let her wrist fall from her grasp. She walked through the door. And they both knew that would be the last they saw of each other until the day of the wedding.
~
The journey back to Grisha Jaeger’s estate was long and tiring. Or at least it felt that way as Y/N sat in uncomfortable silence with her husband-to-be. Her sight was stuck on the outside world that was passing them by in a blur of greens and browns. Zeke was busy, concentrating on the paperwork that his father had left him to do. The only sounds accompanying them were the creaks from the carriage wheels and the hooves of the horses that whisked them away from their future home. It was a deafening silence. A silence that would most likely follow them throughout their years together. A silence that reminded Y/N of her duties and the life she was stuck with.
When they had finally arrived at the house, Y/N couldn’t have jumped out of that carriage fast enough. She was already halfway through the front door when she heard the scolding she earned from her fiance. But she didn’t stop to listen to the rest. Just simply escaped up to her quarters where she resided for the rest of the day.
The last day of her freedom. And it was spent in the four walls where she spent most of her time dreading her future. What was even worse, she hadn’t seen Eren for the past two days. Not that she was expecting to. But the moment she left him in the rain she instantly regretted her choice. That choice had left her with an ache in her heart that would most likely never subside. And after tomorrow morning, when she was finally betrothed to Zeke, Y/N knew that feeling would stay lodged in her heart until the day she died.
The rest of the evening passed her by as she lay curled up on the bed. The sun slowly traveled from east to west until darkness took control of the room. Her thoughts were plaguing her until the quiet that surrounded her finally lulled her into a sleep where her dreams were filled with nothing, finally giving her a peace of mind.
The next morning, she was woken from her slumber by a hand softly stroking her hair. A familiar action she hadn’t felt in so long. A comforting scent wafted through her nostrils. And when she finally registered who it was, she practically jumped out of bed, wrapping her arms around the person she needed most. And she hadn’t even realized.
“Mother.” She whispered into the shoulder that had been there to cry on since she was a young girl. She felt the warmth from her mother’s laughter bloom through her chest, and a comforting hand smoothing over the back of her hair.
“Good morning, my sweet girl.” Her mother said, placing a kiss at the crown of her head. Y/N clutched harder to the woman who raised her, and for some reason the comfort of being surrounded by her own family had brought forth more tears she didn’t know she could give. Her body silently shook, as she tried to hide her true feelings. But then a sob broke from her form, and her mother instantly noticed.
“Darling, what’s wrong?” The older woman asked, taking the girl by her shoulders so that she could see her, getting a good look at her tear sodden face.
Y/N’s lip trembled, her words lost on her tongue. She had no idea what to say. There was no way to reveal her true feelings without disappointing her mother. So she just shook her head and fell back against her mother’s chest, relishing in the arms that instantly took hold of her.
“Why are you here?” Y/N asked, when she finally regained her voice.
“You didn’t think that I wouldn’t see my daughter the morning of her wedding, did you?” Her mother chuckled softly, her hand still stroking Y/N’s hair, she felt as her Y/N shook in her arms and sighed before adding, “But now I’m sure that there’s a better reason that I’m here.”
Y/N stiffened in her mother’s arms, partly because of her mentioning the wedding, but also because she didn’t think she could get out of this conversation without telling her mother why she was crying. She could lie, of course. But something felt wrong about it. So she took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to say the words that have been plaguing her ever since her parents first told her about the betrothal.
“I don’t want to get married.” Y/N murmured, her voice small. She felt like a child again. Maybe she still was a child. She wasn’t ready for such a big milestone in her life. She had more life to live. She felt as her mother stopped stroking her hair. But this time, Y/N pulled herself back, putting on a brave face, even if her courage hadn’t quite caught up yet.
“What are you saying?” Her mother asked, her eyebrows furrowing.
“I’m not happy with this man, mother.” Y/N told her, the weight that had been pressing down on her chest ever since she arrived slowly started to dissipate. “I know that you want me to marry him. And I’ll do anything for you and papa, but I don’t know if i’ll be able to uphold the responsibility of being his wife. I just can’t—”
“—Darling, take a breath.” Her mother cooed, interrupting the rant that Y/N was about to dive into. Her mother’s features were soft, there was no hint of anger or disappointment. And it confused the girl. She wasn’t expecting a reaction that was so tender. She closed her mouth, letting her mother speak.
“My sweet girl.” Her mother said again, her eyes shining with what looked to be admiration for her daughter, “You have never been one to listen to what me and your father tell you to do.”
The two women laughed at the memories that flashed through their minds as her mother said this. Her mother’s aged hands came up to wipe the stray tears that were still falling from Y/N’s eyes. The older woman offered a kind smile before continuing on.
“In fact, you’ve always been the type to do what your heart tells you.” She said, “I would never want unhappiness for you. And I apologize I didn’t see it sooner. I thought this marriage would be good for you.”
“I don’t blame you for anything.” Y/N quickly said, covering her mothers hand with her own. The older woman smiled sadly at her daughter.
“Yes, but I blame myself.” She told her, “I took away your power in favor of deciding what’s right for you. But that is something I know you can do on your own. You are so strong, and kind, darling. I know that you will make the right choice, whatever you decide to do.”
Y/N pulled her mother into yet another hug, earning a surprised yelp from her. Y/N held onto her tight. Suddenly being hit with a bout of appreciation for the woman who raised her. As she held onto her mother, she realized everything that she was, was thanks to this woman. And then she realized all of the things that she had done for her mother in return. Which was nothing but trouble and self-proclaimed heart attacks. Y/N thought back to when her mother first told her about her betrothal, and how there were tears of pride shining in her irises. It was rare to be subjected to those tears.
And the girl now saw the deeper meaning of her responsibilities. She saw what her actions would do if she did what she wanted, the disgrace that she would bring to her parents for the rest of their lives. And she thought of Eren, who was now lost to her because of her choices. So maybe her mother was wrong. Maybe her mother did know what was right for her. Maybe she should live on the choices of others, because it seemed that her own was what caused this whole mess in the first place. Y/N held her mother tighter, and with a shaking breath, she finally decided what she must do.
“Will you help me with my wedding dress?”
~
It was a beautiful day for a white wedding. Everyone had great big grins on their faces, wearing their Sunday best. It was a small wedding, but Mrs. Jaeger had invited their closest friends and family. And they were all happy. All except one man, who stood at the front steps of the church, looking up at the building with as much disdain one would hold towards their enemy.
His fists were clenched at his sides, his features darkened. Though no one paid him any mind as they streamed past him into the wide double doors to find their seats. Eren watched the happy people with contempt. It was unfair that these people associated this day with joy when he saw it for the facade it was.
The whole event reeked of fraudulence. A marriage between a man whose only interest was in the image it presented and a woman who was trapped by her responsibility. And there was nothing Eren could do about it except to stand frozen in trepidation, the carefree wedding-goers chatting excitedly around him. No one noticed him. He was an outsider.
A hand on his shoulder pulled him from his self-deprecating thoughts. He turned to find his mother smiling up at him.
“Are you ready?” Mrs. Jaeger asked. Eren’s throat was tight and his tongue was dry, there was no way to respond to his mother so he simply nodded, holding out his arm for her to take. Her grip was gentle on his arm as he guided her into the church, but even with the familiar comforting touch of his mother, his dread was still looming over him.
“What’s troubling you, darling?” He heard his mother say through the uneasy fog that clouded his brain. He blinked at her, though he wasn’t surprised that she noticed his miserable demeanor. She was his mother after all.
“Nothing.” He breathed, but when he earned a look of disbelief from the older woman, he realized he couldn’t get away with just one simple word. “I can handle it on my own.”
His mother offered him a sad, knowing smile, “Is that all the information you’re willing to give me?”
“For now.” He said softly, as they reached their seats at the front of the church. His brother was already standing up at the altar, in his best suit, his blonde hair slicked back, punctual as always. Eren tried hard not to glare daggers at Zeke as he stood idly waiting for his bride.
“Well if you won’t reveal any more of your troubles, will you allow me to offer you a piece of advice?” Mrs. Jaeger said as they sat in the pew.
“How will you be able to offer me advice if you don’t know what’s troubling me?” Eren chuckled, as he leaned his forearms on his knees.
“This piece of advice is one that covers a broad spectrum of topics. I’ve utilized it many times throughout my life.” Mrs. Jaeger laughed as she brushed a strand of Eren’s hair behind his ear. He smiled gently at the action he recognized from his childhood. And then he leaned back against the wooden bench, rubbing his palms over his thighs, letting out a deep breath as he did.
“Go on, then.” He sighed, “Let’s hear it.”
“I may not know what’s troubling you, but I do know it will pass.” She said, thoughtfully, “These sorts of things always have a funny way of working themselves out. You just simply have to hold on.”
“What if it doesn’t work itself out?” Eren breathed, finally letting his true feelings harrow his facial features, “What if I’m not strong enough to hold on.”
“My dear boy, you are the strongest man I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.” His mother said, her eyes filled with kindness and gratitude, “But I think you might have been misguided to what strength truly is.”
“Then what is true strength?”
“Vulnerability.” She told him, placing a hand over his own, “I regret that you grew up learning that strength was pushing away the things that trouble you. I should have taught you that sometimes you just have to go through it to get out of it. You have to let yourself feel.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.” Eren whispered, looking down at their hands.
“Of course you can, darling.” His mother smiled warmly, clasping her fingers around Eren’s hand, squeezing it with reassurance. Eren opened his mouth to deny his strength once more. But he was interrupted by the appearance of his father, who placed a gentle kiss on his mother’s temple before sitting down next to her. The moment had passed and Eren kept quiet. The words of his mother swarming his brain. He sat silently, his mind reeling, until the whole church was full with family and friends. He sat there until everyone settled down, and the organ started playing the wedding march. Then they all stood, turning towards the end of the aisle, smiling faces waiting. The doors opened, and the bride entered on the arm of her kind-looking father, her pretty white dress flowing around her like an ocean made of silk. And at that moment, Eren felt everything.
~
Y/N’s hands were shaking as she clutched onto her father’s forearm. Her whole body felt numb, and she was pretty sure her legs were moving on their own because her mind was telling her to run away and to never look back. But her own determination kept her where she was. She had come to a decision this morning. And there wasn’t any reason for her to back out of it now. But even so, her determination and her desire was waging war within her mind.
And then she saw Eren and everything stopped. The world around her disappeared as well as the war in her mind. She sucked in a breath at the sight of him. He was looking at her with parted lips and tenderness in his eyes. He was standing in the very first row of the pews, he was only three feet away from the altar. Three feet from where Y/N truly wished he could be.
That secret desire coming forth crashed into her so forcefully she almost lost her footing. Her determination was quickly losing the battle against her desires. Eren was the secret weapon, the surefire way to end her tribulations. Her heartstrings tugged her towards him. But she was held in place by her father. She was trapped by the confines of the social expectations of a wedding. And now her mind was reeling for completely different reasons.
She was so preoccupied, that it came to her as a surprise when she found herself at the altar, standing in front of Zeke. Her father had left her with a single kiss on her forehead, and desperation had almost caused her to grab at his wrist, urging him to stay. But her father left her there, finding a place next to her mother.
The words of the minister didn’t register in her ears. It was like she was under water, listening to warbled speech she couldn’t understand. Everyone around her seemed to be fine, acting normal. She stole a glance at the man standing next to her. His face was blank, unmoving, as he stared politely at the minister.
Y/N’s heartbeat was hammering against her ribcage, trying to force its way out of her chest. The end was drawing nearer and her hands were now uncontrollably shaking, the bouquet she was holding was trembling. And no one noticed. Not even her fiance.
Except, unknowing to her, Eren noticed. Because he noticed everything about her. There wasn’t a moment since she entered the room where he took his eyes off of her. She was the image of aphrodite herself in her white gown. And now he watched as tension caused her to stand rigid up on the altar.
Eren wanted to hold her shaking hands, he wanted to leave kisses on her cheeks, he wanted her to know that she didn’t have to worry about anything else as long as he was there. He wanted so desperately to take her away from this whole mess, without the obstacle of his brother and their families. And suddenly he realized why Y/N was so hurt the day Zeke gave him his proposition. As long as this marriage was in the way, they would never be able to have each other the way they truly wished for. Y/N wanted him to want all of her. Not the feeble version of his love that had to be hidden in secrecy, like his brother offered. She wanted him to love her outloud. To scream it until his throat was raw, until every single person knew that he was hers. And he wanted that too. He wanted all of her.
“Do you Y/N Y/L/N, take Zeke Jaeger to be your lawfully wedded husband.” The minister said in his drawling voice, effectively pulling Eren free from the whirlwind of feelings that he was encased in. Panic settled in his bones, and before he realized what he was doing, Eren was standing on shaking legs. The crowd gasped, the world on the verge of an uproar.
But as it turned out, the horror from the crowd wasn’t a reaction to him. At that exact same moment when Eren stood, Y/N spoke.
“I can’t.” She said, and she was almost shocked by the confidence of her tone. Zeke looked at her with fire in his eyes. The minister stood dumbfounded between them. The guests were all watching with bated breath.
“What are you doing?” Zeke hissed through gritted teeth.
“I apologize.” Y/N said in a hushed tone. The many people watching them straining their ears, and leaning forward in their seats so they could catch what was going on.
“I just realized that I must reject your proposal.” She said simply, her shoulders straightening as she felt her courage rise to her chest.
“You… You can’t reject my proposal when we’re standing at the altar.” Zeke sputtered, his face turning red. He glanced nervously at his father who was staring at them with a rage that no one would want to be subjected to.
“Better late than never.” Y/N shrugged, shoving her bouquet into Zeke’s hands. She began to turn, but his slimy grip on her wrist stopped her before she could make her grand escape.
“Are you seriously doing this?” Zeke spat, “Are you truly willing to bring disgrace to both our families?”
The two stood staring at one another for a moment. A moment long enough to maybe think that Zeke had convinced her to stay. But then Y/N’s eyes shifted over to her parents. She saw how her father’s features were covered with confusion. Her mother beside him, had her hands covering her mouth, but her eyes were gleaming with an amused smile that was most likely hidden by her palms. When her mother gave her a small encouraging nod, more of her courage settled into her form.
And then she looked over to the other side of the room, where the Jaegers were standing. She saw how Mr. Jaeger stood with anger in his eyes, nostrils flaring, cheeks red. His wife beside him held a look of curiosity, and maybe something along the lines of understanding, but there was nothing disdainful written in her irises.
And finally, her eyes rested on the man who had stolen her heart. All he gave her was the same crooked grin she saw that very first night on the train. And that was all she needed. Y/N turned back to Zeke, her own smile dancing on her lips.
‘Zeke… Believe me when I tell you that I am the last woman to make you happy.” She said, “I’m giving you the chance to find a wife you can actually be proud of. And maybe then you’ll be able to offer her more than a soulless marriage.”
Zeke’s grip loosened as he listened to her words. His own shock was easily readable over his features. This was the first time he showed any emotion to Y/N, and she thought that the change suited him. She offered him one more beaming smile before taking a step back. The tension that surrounded them finally broke, the crowd around them immediately went into a frenzy, breaking the shocked silence with flabbergasted chatter. And through the chaos, the bride disappeared, leaving the church in a flash of blinding white.
~
The wedding was left in shambles. The crowd grew restless as they searched for people to speak on such an unforgivable action made by the bride. Gossip was buzzing through the air, making it almost impossible for Eren to even hear himself think.
When he finally regained his senses he immediately moved to set off after her. His heart was racing, and the world around him was total mayhem, but all he knew was that he couldn’t bear to be apart from Y/N any longer than he needed to. He took his first step towards the door when he felt a strong grip wrap itself around his arm. He looked over his shoulder to find his father’s fuming face, and before he realized what was happening he was being pulled in the opposite direction in which Y/N left.
A second later he found himself being shoved into the backroom of the church. Zeke was pacing the length of the entire room. Y/N’s parents stayed huddled in the corner speaking in hushed tones. They all looked up when Eren and his father entered the room, Mrs. Jaeger followed closely behind.
“Father, please, I don’t know why I need to be involved in—” Eren started to say, but he was instantly cut off as Mr. Jaeger interrupted him.
“What is the meaning of this?” He asked no one in particular, looking around the room waiting for the answer as to why the bride ran away from her own wedding.
There were a few people in the room who didknow the answer. But no one seemed to want to speak up as they all stood silent, watching as Eren’s father fumed in the middle of the room.
“Will anyone care to explain why my son was just left at the altar?” Mr. Jaeger spoke up again, his eyes landing on the Y/L/N’s, as if they were to blame for their daughter’s actions.
Obviously, her father found offense in Mr. Jaeger’s accusatory glare. The man took a step closer to his father, his chest puffing up, making him look like an overprotective bear.
“I believe my daughter had just exercised her right to make her own choices.” He said, his voice subdued but the anger was still there. Eren wasn’t sure if he’d ever want to be under that malicious glare. And he couldn’t help but love the fact that his father was subjected to it now.
His father scoffed, “A choice that made our families the new topic for dinner table gossip. Do you not care that your daughter disgraced us?”
“No, I’m happy to say that I don’t.” Her father fumed, “In fact, I think she made the right decision.”
“Her actions made a waste of this whole affair and the connections this union would have brought forth.” Mr. Jaeger retorted.m, his ears turning red.
“Might I remind you who paid for this wedding, Mr. Jaeger?” Mr. Y/L/N replied, “You have no right to discuss what is a waste and what isn’t, and quite frankly, I would spend a fortune to disband any connections with the likes of you.”
“How dare you—“
“Father!” Zeke’s voice rang out across the room, all eyes suddenly turning towards him. “There is no reason to fall into petty arguments when there are other contributing factors we need to account for.”
“What do you mean?”
“The blame doesn’t solely belong in Miss Y/L/N’s hands.” Zeke said, his eyes falling on Eren. The room grew silent. Eren wanted to wring his brother’s neck.
“What are you saying?” Mr. Jaeger asked, not yet noticing where Zeke’s gaze was pointed. His brother nodded towards Eren, everyone’s eyes landed on him.
“Eren, care to enlighten everyone?” Zeke questioned. Eren’s eyes burned towards his older brother, his jaw clenched. His anger coursed through him like a current. Though he shouldn’t be surprised that his brother had found a way to force Eren into the box that labeled him as the mistake of his family.
But now that he was here, at a failed wedding, the love of his life somewhere out in that world. He realized that he didn’t care for the label. And maybe he should just take ownership of it. So when he spoke again he told the truth, and he didn’t dare hold himself back.
“I love her.” He said softly. He heard Y/N’s mother gasp, his own mother placing her hand over her mouth in surprise. He watched as Zeke stared at him with disdain and his father looked at him as if he grew a second head.
“What? How? You’ve never even interacted with the girl.” His father stammered, somehow in disbelief that his son would cause such drama.
“That’s where you’re wrong, father.” Zeke spoke up again, “I’ve discovered that they’ve actually grown quite close. I’d only just learned of it when I found them together when I returned to my estate after the house call.”
“Tell me, Eren, is this true?” His mother asked, her hand now placed on her heart.
“Yes.” Eren replied, his voice unwavering. A sound of disbelief escaped his father’s throat. His brother shook his head, crossing his arms around his chest. Mrs. Y/L/N looked as if she were about to faint, and all the color had drained from her husband’s face.
“You’re saying you hold affections for my daughter?” Mr. Y/L/N asked, his eyes still wide from the second shock of the day. Eren nodded.
“I do.”
“And she feels the same towards you?”
“I believe she does.” Eren said, his heart swelling at the thought of her. He watches as Y/N’s father nodded with contemplation. The man stayed silent, so Eren spoke up once more.
“Forgive me, sir. I never meant to disgrace your family’s name.” Eren said, he straightened his shoulders, making sure to look him in his eye, “But I love your daughter. I am aware that I most likely can’t offer her the financial security that my brother’s marriage did. But I promise to make her happy.”
Mr. Y/L/N gaped at him and Eren felt self-conscious under his gaze. But then after a moment, her father shook his head, as if trying to clear his mind, and then held out his hand.
“Who am I to stand in your way?” He murmured, lifting his shoulders with admittance, his wife smiling behind him with tears in her eyes.
“Thank you, sir.” Eren grinned, taking the hand that her father offered to him in a firm handshake. “But now I’m afraid that I must be on my way.”
“Don’t tell me you intend to follow after this girl.” Eren’s own father snapped as Eren crossed the room.
“That’sexactlywhat I’m intending, father.” He grinned, not at all trying to hide the elation in his tone. Eren pressed the palm of his hand against the cool metal of the door knob. But before he could turn it, his fathers next words stop him in his tracks.
“If you leave this room then consider yourself no longer a part of this family.”
Eren hesitated. He didn’t care what his father thought of him, nor his brother. But there was one person, he didn’t want to be in disdained graces with. He turned towards his mother, who had been silent during this whole exchange. Not saying a word, he stepped towards her. She smiled at him, sadly, and placed a gentle hand on his cheek.
“Do what you must.” She whispered, “Your father will come around eventually.”
Eren placed his hand over her own, and squeezed her fingers with gratitude. A soft ‘thank you’ towards his mother was all that was left behind from the man, before he was finally out the door.
~
Y/N Y/L/N was accustomed to garnering strange looks her entire life. She had never been the type of child to behave, nor a young lady who followed certain social expectations. She had been the center of attention many times before. But somehow she felt vulnerable under the many stares she was under as she wandered through the train station. It would be foolish of her to think it was for any other reason besides the fact that she was in a wedding dress as she waited for the next train.
She kept her sight straight ahead, ignoring the whispers that surrounded her. Though she couldn’t help but crack a smile at the young girl who shouted out in delight at the sight of her. It reminded her of when she was young. A time that seemed so long ago as she now stood on the platform that would take her away from the wedding she just ran out of.
She wasn’t exactly sure why her feet had carried her here. Maybe she felt as though she couldn’t return to the Jaeger’s estate due to the fact she just left their oldest son at the altar. So now here she stood, with her parent’s stolen reservation for the afternoon train, without an ounce of guilt.
Her parents would find another way home, she was certain of it. And she was just happy to be rid of a fiance who didn’t love her. Relief had flooded her form as she ran from the wedding, and when she caught a ride from a confused yet friendly farmer to the train station, she couldn’t help the grin that had been plastered to her face as the church was left behind in the distance.
The only tribulation that had found her was that in the shape of Eren Jaeger. She thought of him back at the church, surrounded by the chaos she created. Y/N hoped, against all reason, that he would find his way to her. And she felt a strange sense of comfort, deep in the pit of her stomach, because she knew that he would. Eventually, at least.
The train coming to a screeching halt in front of her pulled the girl from her thoughts. And as she stepped onto the train, she received even more odd looks, but she paid them no mind. She just simply made her way to the back of the train, and she didn’t stop until she was finally in the safety of an empty compartment. The feeling of vulnerability washed away as she found comfort in being behind closed doors. Even if those doors were made of glass.
A great sigh of relief escaped past her lips as she sat down against the plush surface of the seats. Her eyes fluttered shut as she tried to quiet her racing heart. She was finally home free. It was time for her to relish the calm that this compartment gave to her. The train would be stopped at the station for just a while longer. It made no sense for her to still be reeling with adrenaline while she waited.
She opened her eyes towards the sun that was seeping through the window. The people on the platform scurrying about as they packed their things onto the train. Something Y/N didn’t have to worry about since she left behind all of her belongings. Hopefully her mother will have more sense than she and collect her items for her.
Y/N laughed at herself, wondering how her mind could shift so drastically from her abandoned wedding to something as simple as her luggage. But she was greatly thrilled by the fact that something so simple was her greatest trouble at the moment. She sank further in her seat, watching with content at the random faces that passed her window.
But soon her small moment to herself was interrupted when the sound of the compartment door sliding open broke the silence. She looked up to find a man standing in the door. His cheeks flushed in a light shade of pink. His brown hair tousled as if he ran the whole way here, and his best suit was askew. His bright teal eyes were already trained on her.
“Everywhere else is full. Do you mind if I sit with you?” He asked, a sheepish grin finding its way on his lips as Eren repeated the very first words he ever spoke to her. There was no answer that was waiting for him as the girl immediately jumped from her seat, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in, overwhelming him with the scent of wildflowers.
“How did you find me?” She asked into his neck, bringing goosebumps over his tanned skin.
“There’s been a lot of talk around town about a young lady running around in a wedding dress.” Eren chuckled, his arms tightening around her waist, the dress in question soft under his fingertips. “I took my chances.”
“I’m glad you did.” Y/N replied, her grin wide as she pulled him even closer towards her, if it were even possible.
“Care to explain to me why you left your own wedding?” Eren then asked, pulling himself away from her to look into her eyes, they were already filled with a mischief that felt far too familiar.
“I believe that you might already know.” She said, her lips curled up in a devious smile.
“I suppose you are right.” Eren smirked, clasping her hand in his own to brush his lips against her knuckles.
“Then it must be safe to assume that you followed me here for the same reason.” Y/N said, her skin tingling from the simple kiss.
“It is.” Eren nodded, his features falling into an expression that was much more serious.”And I’ve come to tell you that my heart still resides in your hands. I want to give you all that I am, body and soul. It’s yours. If you’ll have me?”
“And what would you want in return?” Y/N murmured, tilting her head up to brush her nose softly against Eren’s. A content sigh left his lips as she brought herself closer to him, she could feel his heart hammer against her own chest. Or maybe it was her own.
“Forgive me if I come across as selfish,” He whispered, his lips lightly brushing over hers with a whisper of a kiss, “But my heart will never be satisfied unless I have all that you are.”
“I’m already yours.”
Those were the last words spoken before Eren’s lips found Y/N’s in a searing kiss. Y/N sighed into his lips as he held onto her like she was his only solace. And just like that very first night, the two were lost within one another as the train slowly started to move and the world around them started to shift and change.
~~~
A/N: Phew!! she ran off with Eren! thank god!!! I apologize for the lack of smut, but this chapter was so freaking full of angst i didn’t know where i could add it, maybe maybe maaaaybe I’ll write an epilogue :)))) I hope you liked this last chapter!!!!!! Please feel free to message me about anything! I love you guys so much :)))))
A/N: Sorry sorry sorry!!! this chapter totally got away from me, and I always forget how long it takes me to write smut lmao, anyways! it’s finally here!! thank you for being patient with me! I love you all so much and I hope you enjoy! :))
Chapter 6
Y/N’s forehead was pressed against the smooth surface of a window pane that overlooked the land that she would be residing in for the rest of her life. She was currently flooded with the overwhelming feeling of deja-vu, from that very first moment on the train ride that brought her closer to her greatest doom. And in the same regards brought her towards the greatest euphoria she’s ever known. How unfair that this is where her train-ride ended. In a never-ending cycle of torment. The push and pull of what she had to do and what she actually wanted. Deja-vu came to her in the form of despair that sat in the pit of her stomach.
The girl felt as though she were trapped. Trapped in a home she didn’t want to live, trapped in a life that was thrust upon her.
Good thing she was brought to this very estate for practice.Zeke had relayed to her that the reason they were staying at his estate for the last week before their wedding was to become accustomed to their new roles as husband and wife. However, if their marriage was anything like her current treatment she was destined for a life of misery. Though, she shouldn’t have expected anything more. Maybe Y/N should be grateful that most of their time was spent in different corners of this impressive home. The quiet honing in on them in the most violent of ways. Y/N was surprised that she had not yet been brought to insanity. But it was better than being subjected to Zeke’s lectures. She had already garnered four of them over the past two days they had been here.
A deep sigh escaped the girl’s lips. Fogging up the window from the heat of her breath. She dragged a finger through the condensation. A mindless swirl left behind from her delicate touch. She jumped when the double doors to the drawing room burst open, signaling the arrival of her husband-to-be.
“Please, I beg of you to have some form of restraint and not sit on the windowsill as you are.” Zeke snapped, the first words of the day of course being a reprimand. Y/N did not apologize. Just simply slid off the raised structure where her feet landed on the marble floor with a dull thud.
“Good morning to you too, sir.” Y/N mumbled, smoothing out her skirt, trying to rid of any other reason for Zeke to harp on her.
Zeke sighed, removing his glasses to run a hand over his harrowed features, seemingly tired of his unruly bride-to-be. But he must’ve thought her rude behavior was a lost cause as he went on to discuss the matter which brought him into this room.
“I’ve come to tell you that I’ve been called away from the estate.”
Y/N perked up at his words, “Why?” She asked unabashedly.
“An emergency.” He replied simply, “A house-call has been made for my father and he acquires my assistance.”
“When are you leaving?” Y/N questioned, sounding a little more eager than she should. Zeke looked at her pointedly but continued on.
“He needed me as soon as possible, so I’ve already made arrangements for my carriage.” Zeke explained, Y/N nodded, and then paused, already anticipating the lecture he was bound to give. Zeke did not disappoint.
“You are to stay here.” He said, “I expect you to behave yourself. I will be gone for two or three days and when I return it would be fantastic if the order of this estate remained intact.”
Y/N blinked in surprise at the hint of sarcasm in Zeke’s tone. She never expected any form of emotion from her fiance other than strict rigidness. The girl refrained herself from laughing, at the absurdity, but nodded obediently instead. Mostly in hopes that this conversation will end and he would leave faster. And it seemed it worked as Zeke pursed his lips, unable to find yet another thing about the girl to chastise.
“Then I will see you when I return.” He said, before bowing. Y/N returned his departing words with a half-hearted curtsy. And then he turned on his heel, leaving her alone for the first time in weeks.
~
A soft breeze disturbed Eren’s brunette locks as he stood at the precipice of the estate. His breathing was controlled and determined, as he tried to calm his racing mind. However, that was a challenge he had been trying to conquer for the past two days. He had been on an unforeseen journey for three days now. Sleeping in random taverns that he came across during his travels. And the whole time his mind had been occupied with the thought of her in the arms of his brother. It made him sick to his stomach.
He never wanted to return. But he knew he had to at one point. It was inevitable. Just like the wedding he was expected to be at, which was scheduled to be in four days. His breathing quickened as he felt the time slip through his fingers like sand. No matter how hard he tried to get it to stop it kept sliding on by, with no desire to listen to his wishes. Time seemed to be an evil thing.
Eren shook his head at the harrowing thought. Four days was enough. It was enough time to clear his head and learn to be happy for his brother. Learn to let go of Y/N. But he needed space. And that was why, instead of being in the same house as his brother and the fiance that should have been his, his feet had carried him to a place he was certain was completely empty. Obviously, Eren should be back at his father’s estate, helping with the business and god forbid, the horrible wedding. But he couldn’t do it. Not yet at least. So Eren took one last deep breath before taking a step towards his brother’s seemingly empty estate.
~
The sun outside began to dip below the horizon, the rooms spilling over with the pink hues of the sunset. At this point during her stay, the young girl was now used to the strange looks she had been receiving from her fiance’s staff all day. Though, it’s not like Y/N could blame them. They were probably shocked for someone to be so happy within these walls. And here Y/N was, practically skipping as she hummed a random tune, exploring the house at her own free will.
Y/N never realized the glorious taste of freedom until she was finally left on her own. Away from strict rules and admonished glares from her fiance and his father. It felt like she could finally breathe again. She just had to ignore the crushing feeling that would slip between the cracks every so often. Y/N didn’t want to think about how this might be her last instance of feeling so free. So instead of dreading the end of her false sense of liberty, she relished in it. A soft smile on her face, as she examined the art that Zeke had placed on his walls. He had quite the eye for this sort of thing. Or perhaps, more likely, his mother had quite the eye. Y/N didn’t think the man had an artistic bone in his body. It made much more sense that this house was so beautiful at the hands of his mother.
The girl laughed softly at the thought, her head tilted slightly as she looked over a painting of a young couple captured in a meadow for the rest of eternity. They looked so blissfully at peace. A strange sense of jealousy pierced through the girl’s chest. But yet again, she ignored it, shaking her head slightly as she moved on to the next painting. Her eyes desperately searched for something new to fixate on so she didn’t have to think about her wedding. Which was almost laughable. Never in a million years did she ever think she would dread her wedding. But she did. And now she was forcing herself not to cry as she lost the battle of ignoring her troubles.
Luckily, she was interrupted by a door opening, revealing a member of Zeke’s staff.
“Mr. Jaeger has arrived, Madam.” The man said, and Y/N’s heart dropped. She didn’t think that her freedom would end so quickly. She was only given one night to herself when she expected two more.
Y/N tried to hide the disappointment on her face as she nodded at the man. “Very well, send him in so I shall greet him.”
If I don’t greet him like a proper wife he’ll probably lock me in the basement, she refrained from adding. The man bowed before exiting the room and Y/N turned back towards the painting, hoping she could twist her features in an expression that didn’t show her true detestment of Zeke. She held her breath as she heard the door behind her open once more. Her shoulders stiff, Y/N opened her mouth to greet him, but suddenly he spoke, and it felt as though all the wind was knocked out of her.
“Miss Y/L/N.”
Y/N whipped around to find Eren, standing at the edge of the room, his expression dumbfounded, his irises sparking with shock. And Y/N would have been embarrassed, with the way her lip quivered at the sight of him. Every emotion she tried to ignore coming back in full force. She couldn’t handle it on her own. All of a sudden she found herself crossing the room to find herself in his arms. She never realized how much she needed Eren until he was standing in front of her now.
Instinctively, Eren’s arms circled around her waist, pulling her into him. The press of her chest against his own seemed to bring him back to life from the three day coma that passed him by. His hand wound itself in her hair, a breath of relief escaping him as she leaned into his touch.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, pulling back to look in her eyes. They searched his face, her eyebrows furrowed with confusion.
“You didn’t know I was here?”
Eren shook his head, “No, I had no idea. I thought you were back at my fathers with…”
He didn’t want to say his name. And now it was Y/N’s turn to shake her head.
“No, he took me here the night of the ball.” She explained, her fingers subconsciously toying with the hairs at the nape of Eren’s neck. “I wanted to tell you but they put me in a carriage with no warning. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to meet you in the garden. Were you waiting for me?”
“I was.” Eren swallowed, his tone strained with the hurt that plagued him since that night. Y/N’s expression softened, her hand finding his face hoping that her touch would bring him the same sense of comfort that he brought her. He shut his eyes, hiding the teal that she’s grown to adore and released a shaky breath.
“Why did he bring you here?” He asked after a moment of silence, he opened his eyes again, showcasing more of that hurt.
“He wanted me to become accustomed to being the lady of the house.” Y/N laughed bitterly, separating herself from Eren, and turning away from him.
“Did that include…” He struggled to get the second half of his sentence out, “spending the night together.”
Y/N’s head snapped towards Eren, “What? No, of course not. Zeke’s never been one to go against societal expectations. And I’m not at all interested in sharing any affections with that man.”
Eren took notice of the offense that twisted her features. “Please, forgive me. I’m not accusing you of anything. I just…”
“You just…?” Y/N breathed, taking a step closer to Eren, his gaze trained on the floor beneath them.
“I hate the thought of you with anyone else.”
Y/N sucked in a breath when his eyes met hers with the resounding clash of his statement. Words were lost on her tongue as he took a step closer, his gaze burning over her. The flames of want and need lapping at her skin, burning her with the proof that she would forever and always be his.
“I don’t want to be with anyone else.” She whispered.
“Then will you have me as I am?” Eren said, his eyes pleading, “Will you put me out of this misery and receive my foolish heart which is already irretrievably yours.”
Y/N let out a breathy laugh, tears once again swimming in her eyes, though this time for a much better reason. “My heart has been lost to you since the very moment you kissed me. Maybe even before that.”
Eren’s own grin danced across his features as his hands cupped her face, his touch gentle, almost unsure. It was as if he couldn’t believe that this moment was real, that she would slip away from his grasp if he held on too tightly. Y/N wanted to ease his worries.
“I’m yours. Every single part of my being belongs to you.” She told him, and she had more to say. She was going to tell him how she was willing to give him everything she had to offer, hoping that he would take it and give her the same. But before she could his lips had found hers and there was nothing else to do but fall into his kiss.
The two became intertwined, lost in each other’s touch, hands wandering until it came to the point where Eren didn’t know where Y/N began and he ended. His grip was tight on her waist, as he tried to restrain himself from taking her right in the middle of his brother’s drawing room. Eren forced himself to pull away from Y/N’s lips.
“Will you allow me to escort you to your bedroom?” Eren murmured, his thumb rubbing slow circles into her side. “It’s getting rather late.”
“Please tell me that you’re not rejecting my advances again.” Y/N chuckled, though her body was still flushed with slight embarrassment. “I don’t believe my dignity can take it.”
Eren laughed, smoothing a palm over her hair and leaving a soft kiss against her forehead. “I was only trying to uphold the illusion of propriety. I was fully intending on joining you in your bedroom. If you’ll let me?”
Y/N answered his final question with another fervent kiss, her hands finding his face to pull him in as close as possible. She could feel how he smiled into her lips, his hands were back around her waist. They were lost in their lust once more, until they couldn’t handle the barrier of clothing any longer.
WIth hands intertwined, they rushed out of the room, practically running through the hall until they found her assigned room at the other side of the house. As they stopped in front of the oak door that would give them the privacy they so desperately wanted, Y/N’s hands shook as she fumbled with the door knob. Eren, taking notice of this, covered her hand with his palm.
“Are you certain you want to do this?” Eren asked, removing her hand from the engraved medal to press it to his chest. She could feel his heartbeat under his cotton shirt. It was beating at the same frantic rate hers was. Somehow, that relieved her from all her worries.
“Of course I do.” She said, and to prove her point, she effortlessly opened the door revealing where she had been spending the past couple of nights.
“Even if it’s against all reason.” Eren questioned, as he followed her into the room, gently shutting the door behind him.
“I believe we are both aware that we lack a certain sense of decorum.” Y/N laughed, sitting atop her mattress, bouncing slightly from the momentum. Eren offered her a crooked grin as he stepped closer to her, his knees brushing against her own.
“We’ve never been one to uphold responsibility, have we?” He said, propping his knee up on the bed. Y/N instinctively fell back on the plush surface of her mattress, her arms linking around his neck pulling him into her. Eren’s body covered her completely, his hips pressing into her own offered her the proof of his need for her.
“I can hear my mother’s heart break from one hundred miles away.” Y/N teased, her legs wrapping around his hips. She bit her lip as he immediately started to grind into her, his erection pressing up against her center.
“My grandfather is rolling in his grave.” Eren grinned, trying to hold back the groans that Y/N was pulling from his throat as her hands smoothed over his shoulders, slipping off the coat he arrived in. And he wasted no time removing the next layer of his clothing so he now sat in front of her shirtless.
Y/N bit her lip at the sight of him. She wouldn’t be surprised if the gods themselves had modeled him out of the most pristine marble found on earth. It was almost unfair the way his muscles looked bathed in the golden light of the flickering candle on her bedside table. Her hands found the hard surface of his chest, pushing him softly so that she could flip herself on top of him.
“What are you doing?” Eren asked, as she started to fumble with the clasp of his trousers, sliding the fabric over his long legs. Her hands were cold, bringing goosebumps to his tanned skin when her fingers curled around the waistband of his undergarments.
“All this time you have been bringing me the most immense pleasure.” Y/N told him as she kissed the smooth skin of his v-line. Eren swallowed hard when her tongue darted out, for a taste of his sweet skin. “I’ve found that I’ve been selfish during our encounters.”
She tugged at the fabric, his erection springing free from its confines, the tip already leaking with the proof of his arousal. Now Y/N had never seen any other man in this intimate capacity, but she knew that any other man would pale in comparison when rivaled with Eren. Y/N licked her lips at the sight, and her tongue was begging to have a taste. Her own arousal rushing through her like a freight train.
“Y/N, you don’t have to—” His sentence was interrupted by the sharp gasp that escaped him when her lips wrapped around the head of his cock. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the sheets underneath him. The pleasure that Y/N brought him from just the touch of her lips had his chest heaving with shaky breaths, his head thrown back against the headboard.
Y/N peered up at him from her eyelashes, and felt a pang of lust at the sight of the tendons straining in his neck, his eyes twisted shut from the euphoria. A groan was pulled from his lips as she swirled her tongue against his burning skin. A groan that was cut short as she pulled off of him. His mouth opened to ask what was wrong, but soon he was speechless as Y/N pulled off the cotton dress that was hiding her figure. The rest of her garments joined her dress on the floor. And now it was his turn to admire her body under the flickering golden light.
Her skin looked as soft as velvet, her nipples were perked up against the cool air that surrounded them. His hands were itching to touch every inch of her. But before he could, her mouth returned to his cock, this time taking him deeper in her throat.
Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. Never in her life had she ever done anything like this, but she wanted to please him the same way he did for her. Eren was quiet as she worked her tongue around his member. Y/N was slightly worried that she might be doing something wrong until his hand had found itself on the back of her head, a silent encouragement that told the girl to keep going.
A slight choking sound escaped the girl as she tried to fit as much as she could inside of her mouth. And Eren felt guilty as he felt himself twitch at the sight of her choking on his cock. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to admit how aroused he was by her innocence. It was obvious that he was the first person she had ever done this for. That thought almost had him at the edge of his orgasm. But then he felt as her throat contracted around him once more in a silent gag, and sense had come back to him.
Eren’s hands were gentle as he guided her face away from his aching erection and back towards his face. When she was in reach, he wrapped one of his arms around her waist, placing her on top of him. He could feel the slick of her arousal against his lower abdomen, more precrum spilled out of his cock at the sensation.
“Did I do something wrong?” The girl whispered, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. And Eren quickly shook his head.
“No, darling. Not at all.” He chuckled, cupping her face in his hands to leave a chaste kiss on her lips. “But if this is your first time with a man… I want this to be about you.”
“But it’s always been about me.” Y/N pouted, smoothing her hands over his chest once more, “I want to bring you as much pleasure as you bring me.”
Eren laughed, clasping one of her hands in his own and bringing it up to his mouth to press a gentle kiss in her palm, before he said, “Believe me when I tell you that bringing you to orgasm is the greatest pleasure I have ever been subjected to.”
Y/N hid her face in her hands as more embarrassment washed over her. Her usual bold demeanor was nowhere to be seen. Eren found this side of her quite endearing, and another chuckled rumbled out of his chest as he held her close.
The two of them stayed silent for just a moment. The whole of their bodies finally connecting, skin to skin, burning against one another. Eren rubbed slow circles into the small of her back and he smiled softly as he felt her relax into him. He was just about to speak again when he was interrupted by her own voice filtering out into the night.
“All this talk about bringing me to orgasm and you have yet to do so.” Y/N mumbled into his chest. Eren threw his head back with a hearty laugh from the return of her boldness, before flipping Y/N over so that he now resided on top. Y/N responded with a squeal from the abrupt movement but soon settled under his weight, sighing into the kiss he gifted her with when she did.
“Allow me to live up to my promise then.” He groaned, rocking his hips into her once more. His cock was already nestled between her slick folds and she gasped as his shaft rubbed harshly against her clit. But then that pleasure was taken away, as he lifted himself off of her. Her mouth opened to protest, but then his fingers replaced the press of his cock, rubbing slow circles into her aching clit.
She moaned under his touch, circling her own hips in time with his fingers. Eren could feel more of his precum leak out onto her thigh as he watched her chest heave up and down with pleasure. Dipping his fingers down further, he collected her wetness, spreading it back up to her clit, applying more pressure to her sensitive bud.
Her hand snapped towards his wrist, her fingernails digging into his skin as she tried desperately to keep him there. Eren chuckled softly at her desperation, before latching his mouth around her nipple, swirling his tongue around the puckered skin. Y/N’s back arched into his tongue, her moans turning into fervid panting.
And then, the girl jerked unexpectedly when Eren pushed a finger inside of her. He went in with ease, but the shock of having something inside of her with no warning surprised her. Though her surprise quickly subsided as he began to stretch her out with only his finger. And then he added another, picking up his momentum. And just when she felt so completely filled by him, so ready to release all the tension that was building up inside of her. He took it away again.
Her eyes opened to find Eren slipping his fingers past his lips. He took the time to truly enjoy the taste of her on his fingers. She could feel her arousal drip down over her thighs as she watched him. And she was certain his hand would return to give her more, until he rolled back on top of her, returning to the position they were in before.
“Are you ready for me, darling?” Eren asked, his words faltering as the pleasure of her bare cunt against his cock made him weak. He shuddered when a particular shift in her hips had caused him to rub against her entrance, his heart was beating with anticipation.
“Yes.” Y/N breathed as Eren smoothed a palm over the backs of each of her thighs, his hands stopping at the crease of her knees. Naturally, her legs hooked over his shoulders as he pressed his body into her, his tip slowly slipping inside of her.
Eren took his time. With each deep breath the girl gave him, he slowly pushed deeper inside of her cunt. Now it was Y/N’s fingers that were twisted within the sheets as he filled her up so completely. He was practically splitting her open as his cock carved into her velvet walls, and they each let out sharp gasps when their hips finally connected.
With the position they were in now, Eren was so deep inside of her that he was certain he would be lost within her forever. Or at least he wanted to be. His jaw was clenched as he restrained himself from hammering into her, but his legs were starting to shake, his resolve slowly fading. However, he held himself still, letting Y/N adjust to his size as he left soft kisses on her supple lips.
“You can move now.” Y/N whispered after a moment of just holding him inside of her. And Eren wasn’t completely sure if he had any use of his voice box. So instead he simply nodded, slowly rolling his hips into hers.
The pace in which he was moving was the most exquisite form of torture either of them have ever experienced. Eren was strong and steady with his movements as his irises burned into her own. Y/N hooked her arms around his neck bringing him in for another impassioned kiss. With their tongues intertwined, every part of them was now forged together as one.
Eren’s mind was now preoccupied with the taste of Y/N’s lips. His hips became uncontrolled, moving at a pace that caused Y/N to gasp and moan underneath him. He pressed his forehead against hers, his own gasps leaving his lips from how tight she felt wrapped around him.
Soon the sound of his skin slapping against hers filled the room, along with the provocative squelching that came from their combined arousal. Y/N relished in every little sound— her gasps, his moans, the sounds of their bodies moving as one— knowing that Eren was the only man she’d ever want like this. Even if it was embarrassing, or unladylike, she would always want to have him in this way.
Tears pricked in her eyes once more as the ticking of the clock began to ring out in her mind. The painful reminder that this might be the only chance she’ll ever be with him like this forced its way to the forefront of her mind. She hid her face in the crook of his neck, trying hard to will away the tears that were threatening to spill over her cheeks.
But then, Eren angled his hips in a way that pressed harshly against a spot that forced a sob to leave her frame, her tears coming with it. And now here she was, sobbing uncontrollably as Eren pounded into her. It was a strange sensation, being overcome with pleasure while her tears were falling so freely. She threw her head back against the pillow as Eren continued his overpowered thrusts. But that was a mistake on her part. Because as soon as Eren caught sight of the shine of her tears against her cheeks, he had stopped his movements completely.
“You’re crying.” Eren said, not as a statement but more as an observation. His features furrowed with concern, “Did I hurt you?”
Y/N shook her head, shifting her head to the side in order to avoid Eren’s piercing gaze. But his hand had found her jaw, gently coercing her into looking at him.
“If you want to stop, just say the word.” Eren told her, his thumb brushing under her eye to wipe away the stray tear that slipped free.
“No.” She breathed, raising her head to kiss him, “No, don’t stop. I don’t want this to end.”
“Is that why you’re crying?” He whispered, now using the gentle press of his lips to rid her cheeks of the tears.
“Yes.” She said honestly, her voice barely above a timid whisper. “I feel as though I’ll lose you after this.”
“You won’t.” Eren reassured her, still holding her chin so that she could see the truth in his eyes. “I’ve told you that you own my heart. I’m a man of my word. You’ll have me for the rest of our days.”
Y/N tried to find relief in his words, tried to grasp on to the stability he was providing. But it wasn’t his loyalty that she was scared of, it was something bigger than the both of them.
“It isn’t a matter of my trust in you.” She said.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s about the people in our lives that will take me away from you.”
Eren pulled his hand away from her face, propping himself up on his arm so he could look at the entirety of her. His eyebrows furrowed as her true fear finally came to light. It was a fear that he shared. For some reason he didn’t think that it would plague her as well. Maybe he thought that his affections towards her were greater. But now as she lay under him, shaking like a leaf, his cock still buried deep inside of her while tears streamed down her face, he realized that he had a greater effect on her than he thought. And maybe that was all he needed to know.
“They don’t matter.” He blurted.
“What?”
“None of them matter.” He emphasized. “I will never let them take you away.”
“Eren.” Y/N breathed, her eyes landing on the ceiling up above. She was too scared to look him in his eye right now. Too scared to know what he truly wanted to say. “What if they do?”
Eren stayed silent. He wanted to reassure her over and over again that he will always stay by her side. Even if it was in the background of her responsibility to be the proper wife of his brother. But he didn’t know if that was the right thing to say. And it wasn’t like he could tell the future and ease her worries on the spot. So instead, he said nothing. Until Y/N’s shining eyes found him once more, in the dying light of the candle.
“Will you…” Y/N stammered, her voice strained, “Will you just stay with me? If all we have is tonight I don’t want to waste another second. So please just stay.”
“I’ll stay.” Eren whispered, allowing himself to press back into her. Y/N’s arms wound their way around his neck once more, and she kissed him with every fiber of her being. He could feel the wetness of her tears against his skin as he kissed her back.
Eren didn’t want to rush into another heated moment, he wanted to take his time and make sure she was truly okay to be in this position with him. But then Y/N started pressing into him, creating her own momentum, and soon he was rocking back into her. He could feel as her walls clenched around him, pulling a gasp from his throat as she gripped his cock.
Y/N threw her head back in another moan, and Eren took this chance to leave kisses against the exposed skin of her neck. She whimpered when he nipped at her neck with his teeth, relishing in the pain. Y/N was addicted to feeling Eren all around her like this, his lips on her skin, his arms caressing her, as well as every vein and ridge on his cock that was carving through her.
He was moving so slowly. That same tortuous pace from before. He slid the entirety of himself out, until it was just the head that resided inside of her. And just as slowly he sank all the way back in. Eren continued this, over and over, and in this position he kept constant pressure on that spot that brought Y/N closer towards insanity. The tip of him dragging across it for exquisitely painful seconds with each thrust.
She was a complete and utter mess underneath him, shuddering and gasping, and Eren could feel his dick twitch inside of her as he watched her slowly unravel. But another whine protruded past her lips as she desperately tried to roll her own hips at a faster pace.
“Please.” She begged, her breath fanning out across his ear, “I need more.”
“As you wish.” He replied, before speeding up. It was gradual, his thrusts still long and deep, but they became faster each time. Y/N laid underneath him, in pure bliss, gladly letting him have his way with her as he now pounded into her. The bed was creaking under them with each thrust. And soon they were surrounded by the sounds of their fucking.
Eren lowered his face once more, capturing Y/N’s lips as he fucked into her, his thrusts moving at an ungodly pace. He no longer had any control of his body, his movements were an enactment of his lust and need for her. The way her cunt was squeezing around him was enough to have him shaking. He could feel as his abs contracted with every thrust. Y/N was draining him of every horrible thing he had ever been through and replacing it with the greatest pleasure he had ever known.
Eventually, his dick twitched inside of her and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold on for much longer. Y/N squirmed as she felt his arm slip between them, sending sparks throughout her nervous system with only his touch, and then his fingers had found her clit once more. His touch was intoxicating as he smoothed circles into her, all the while still pressing up against that same spot. And before she knew what was happening, Y/N’s orgasm spilled over her. Waves of pleasure wracked over her body, shaking from the overwhelming sensation.
A string of curses left Eren’s lips as Y/N clenched around him, and he quickly pulled himself out of her before his own orgasm took control. He groaned as he came, the result splattering itself on Y/N’s stomach as she came down from her own high. Eren caught himself on his arms as he lost his strength, hovering over Y/N as they breathed heavily, their eyes not leaving one another.
Not a word was said when Y/N grabbed his face, tugging him into one final kiss, before she fell back into the mattress. Fatigue found her rather quickly, and her eyes fluttered shut, seemingly lost to the world in favor of sleep. Eren chuckled softly before rolling off of the bed, he quickly tugged his pants over his legs and then crossed the room to the dresser where he knew the extra towels resided.
Y/N could hear as he rustled around the room. She wanted to open her eyes but sleep was taking over, so she stayed silent until she felt the cold press of a wet towel against her skin. She listened as Eren hummed softly while he cleaned her skin. Warmth found her when a blanket covered her form, and when a soft kiss was pressed to her forehead, she realized she didn’t want it to end like this.
Eren was surprised when a hand shot out from under the covers, grabbing onto his wrist with a grip so tight he was surprised that she still had the strength to do so. His eyes flickered from the hand on his wrist to the girl’s face to find her eyes opened to the world once more.
“You said you would stay.” She whispered, earning a soft smile from the man. He nodded silently, before slipping under the covers, his arms wrapping around her naked form. He pulled her close to his still bare chest and then whispered into her hair.
“I’m staying.”
~
To Y/N, it seemed as though the sun was shining a little bit brighter. Along with the smile on her face as she sat next to Eren at her fiance’s pianoforte. Soft laughter filtered out into the room as they talked about anything and everything. Life seemed to be good at that moment. In fact, after the night before, life seemed like it would be good for the rest of their lives.
This morning when she woke up in Eren’s arms she had forgotten about every single one of her troubles. And it had stayed that way all day, and even now, as they fooled around with the ivory keys that sat in front of them.
“I want to hear you play.” Y/N said, scooting closer to Eren so that their shoulders were brushing against one another.
“You’ve already heard me play.” Eren laughed, his own grin practically blinding her. He nudged her shoulder with his own in a teasing manner, eliciting more giggles from the girl.
“I wasn’t listening then, I was too preoccupied by you seducing me.” She retorted, and her heart leapt as Eren threw his head back in laughter. It was moments like these when she truly recognized how handsome he was. And happiness truly did a wonder on this man’s features. Her own smile became subdued as she admired him, butterflies returning to flutter around her stomach as she did.
“If you think those are the extent of my seduction skills then you are terribly mistaken, Miss Y/L/N.” He said, as his fingers started to dance lightly across the keys, serenading their private moment with a sweet tune.
“Then I beg you, Mr. Jaeger, please show me the full extent of your prowess.” Y/N laughed, and she meant to make fun of him further, however his lips connected with hers in a kiss, effectively shutting her up. She couldn’t help but press back into him, smiling into his lips. But then as he tried to pull her closer, she quickly pulled back from his touch. Eren let out an annoyed groan from the loss of her lips.
“I’m not sure if it counts as seduction if you just go right out and kiss me.” She teased.
“That depends,” He grinned, “Is it working?”
Y/N opened her mouth to retort. But then she realized that maybe it did work. So instead, she decided it was his turn to shut up, and placed her lips back over his own. Y/N could feel how his laughter rumbled through his chest as he kissed her back. But soon their giddiness was replaced with newfound lust, as their arms snaked around each other. Their laughter was replaced by soft sighs of satisfaction and Y/N could feel as she grew desperate to have him like she did last night. But before she could even suggest it, the words were quickly stolen from her tongue as the chilling drawl of her fiance’s voice echoed out across the drawing room.
“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised.”
~~~
A/N: Ah!!! suspense!!! also they finally did it :D, so good things and bad things happen i suppose… idk how we’re gonna get out of this, but we will :)) and the next chapter will come out in time i swear!!! also heads up… next chapter is the last chapter so hold on, it’ll be a bumpy ride !!! please feel free to leave a message!
sooo i was gonna write this out as a one shot but i have too much on my plate writing wise, so i thought bullet points would make this easier for all of us hehe anyways this is Eren as your bf obviously, my mind is on a constant cycle of romantic scenarios so this is what it’s like when he comes home to you (something that i think about wayyyy too often)
so imagine you’re on the couch, lounging casually, reading a book, any book it can be your favorite book.
it’s late afternoon so the sun is slowly slipping down towards the horizon giving your living room a nice golden glow
there are bright green plants that litter the room, you’re lying on the most wonderfully soft velvet couch
a playlist of classic love songs from the 50’s is playing in the background (i have this playlist if y’all want the link, it’s what helps me come up with most of my content lmao)
anyways, you’re having a lovely time just reading, your knees propped up, your head resting on a cute throw pillow
life is peaceful, life is good
then the wonderful and familiar sound of a key in the lock sounds out into the room, the front door of your small apartment slowly opening to reveal your tired yet handsome boyfriend, Eren Jaeger
you try to stifle your laughter but a soft chuckle bubbles up from your chest
his features were twisted up in a pout, his button up already in a disarray from him loosening his tie,
but then he saw you, on the couch and his face softens, his dark furrowed brows relaxing, his pink lips splitting into that crooked grin you’ve always loved
he also chuckles softly at the sight of you, your long skirt splayed out across the couch, the colors of your skirt and the furniture match bc you always tend to buy things in your favorite color (he tends to tease you about this, always stating how he’ll one day loose you in a sea of your favorite color)
he doesn’t say a word, just drops his bag on the wooden floor where it lands with a dull thud
and then he immediately crawls on top of you
he gently pulls the book free from your grasp, and throws it to the side, effectively loosing your spot, but you don’t complain. you’ve read it a thousand times
instinctively your legs find themselves on either side of his hips, your skirt slowly slipping over your thighs exposing your smooth skin, he’s pressing into you so nicely and completely and it fills all of your senses up with this man
one of Eren’s hands is already there on the plush skin of your thigh, his other arm slithering behind your head, his face already tucked into the crook of your neck, he’s dragging in your devine scent, which he’s become obsessed with over the years
“how was your day, darling” you ask (i find that nickname so tender, but also don’t let me dictate the nicknames you give this man, call him whatever you want)
he just groans against your skin, bringing goosebumps with the tickle of his breath
“that bad, huh?” you laugh, running your fingers through his hair, he recently got it cut, but it’s already growing out, you’re kind of jealous of how fast this man’s hair grows
“could be worse” he shrugs, and before you could ask how, his head pops up from its hiding place
his lips find yours in a gentle kiss, he tastes like altoids mints, and you know it’s because he likes to keep a pack in the middle compartment of his car
and just from his kiss and the taste of him you feel that deep primal ache in your core (you know the one i’m talking about, ;;;))) but you don’t make any moves bc he’s had a long day and you don’t want to attack him right off the bat!! (even though he looks so fucking hot in the golden sun, his tan skin practically glowing, his teal eyes shining)
the kiss was short, but it doesn’t take long for him to dip his head down again, kissing you deeper
he pulls a small whimper from you and you can feel him grin into the kiss
“i love the little sounds you make when i kiss you” he murmurs into your lips, and you push on his chest softly causing him to pull back, he’s grinning still
you pout bc you’re a little embarrassed but he just laughs and kisses you again and again and again until your pout disappears and the smile that brings him home everyday returns :)))
okay that was kind of corny… but i legitimately think about this scenario more often than i should and i just needed to write down some version of it.. i hope you enjoyed!! and if you have any little scenarios like this you wanna send in feel free!!!!!!! love you guys :)))
hehe okay as you may have noticed i changed the title of this blog
Edit: i didn’t change the title! bc it messed up my links lol, so it’ll stay like this but i’m going to be posting new chapters of LTN on @dreamy-jaeger
as it turns out making this a secondary blog has finally come to screw me over
bc my blog isn’t showing up anymore and my tag lists aren’t working :(
So! i’m going to keep this one to hold all of my old work but from now on i’ll be posting @dreamy-jaeger !!!! sorry this is so confusing and i hope you guys forgive me
Warnings:Female masturbation, mentions of male masturbation, 18+, Minors DNI
Summary:Eren and the Reader are growing accustomed to being neighbors. This comes with the uncharted territory of finding out how thin their walls really are.
A/N: Soo, I’m sick. Which means I can’t go into work today. Which also means I’ll be sitting here bored. And I think something that will make feel better is posting chapter 2. :) I hope you enjoy!!
Chapter 2
For Eren Jaeger, there were very few things in his life that were constant. The first was his best friend, Armin, who managed to weasel into his life when they were in grade school. Armin had sort of latched onto Eren ever since he saved him from the class bully. He remembered that day clearly. He was walking home from school when he passed by an alley on the way. There was Armin, closing in on himself as the larger kid shadowed over him. Eren wasn’t that strong himself, but he had enough determination to tell the bully off. Eren was pretty sure the kid stayed away just so he wouldn’t have to deal with the nuisance that Eren was, rather than being too scared to try again. Either way Armin was grateful. After that he wouldn’t leave Eren’s side. And though it was annoying at first, Eren had come to find that he cared for the smaller blond man. Now he couldn’t imagine a life without him.
The second was his job. He was a video game developer for Titan Entertainment. One look at Eren and you wouldn’t assume that he was interested in something as nerdy as coding, but he grew up loving every detail of what went into video games. Soon enough, he went to university with a major in software engineering and now he had a job where he loved what he was doing. That’s all that really mattered to the man. Since he didn’t waste any of his time on doing anything that he wasn’t even remotely interested in.
That seemed to be the extent of what was constant in his life. Every other aspect of his life was erratic to say the least. Eren didn’t have ‘the usual’ at any coffee shop. He never read the same book twice. He always found himself in foreign places around the city every night. He even had a different woman lying in his bed every other morning after venturing to those new places. Eren liked to think of himself as a nomad. Traveling constantly and never settling down. Taking what he needed and leaving behind what he didn’t. He never stayed past the agreed upon lease at any apartment he had lived in. Hence why he was in this new apartment.
Though with this new apartment, he sensed that his usual way of life was being threatened. As the days passed he realized that there was a brand new constant that kept popping up. Ever since their encounter at the parking spot he had been running into Y/N every single day.
As it turns out, the two of them arrived home from work at the exact same time. He wondered why this didn’t happen during the week when he first moved in, but then he realized he was working overtime that week since his company was finishing up their newest video game for its release that was coming up in a few days. Now that he was back on his usual work schedule, it felt like the only person he ran into these days was Y/N.
One would think that this abrupt contradiction to his need for inconsistencies would bother him. Hell, even he thought that her constant presence would be an annoyance. But for some reason it didn’t. Maybe it was because the girl intrigued him. He never thought he would meet anyone who would have such a strong vendetta against him. Especially one that started over a parking spot. And here she was, in all her glory, and he had found that it was quite fun messing with her. It was like someone had placed a large red button in front of him, telling him not to press it, knowing damn well that he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back.
“Well look who it is.” Eren heard himself say as soon as he turned off the engine to his motorcycle. He pulled off his helmet, watching as the girl stood up after chaining the back wheel of her moped. “Fancy seeing you here, Kid.”
“Are you going to say that every time?” She rolled her eyes, slinging her camera bag over her shoulder.
“As long as I keep getting that warm welcome from you, consider it done.” Eren grinned as he swung his leg over his bike and followed her towards the building, holding his helmet underneath his arm.
“I thought you said I wouldn’t be seeing you around.” Y/N pointed out, as she opened the glass door that led into the lobby. Eren placed his hand on it to hold it open as she moved inside.
“And I thought you said you were planning on never speaking to me again, and yet, here we are.” Eren retorted.
“Touché.” Y/N breathed, pressing the button to the elevator. Their words died in the air between them and they were silent for just a moment. Eren took this time to study the girl. She was far prettier than she probably knew. Though, of course, he noticed that from the moment he met her. It was hard for him not to notice how attractive a woman is. Especially when that woman hated him from the moment she met him. God, he felt like a cliché. The one time a woman doesn’t fall at his feet and suddenly he’s too curious about her for his own good. Though this couldn’t have been genuine interest. He was just amused by her hatred for him. This meant nothing… right?
But then he thought, since when had he cared about the people who lived in his building? Out of all the places he lived, he had never tried to get close to anyone since he knew it was only temporary. So, why was it so different now?
“Take a picture, it will last longer.” The girl recited, effectively pulling Eren out of his thoughts. She looked over at Eren, catching him in the act of staring her down. He quickly averted his gaze, facing the elevator doors as they finally opened.
“Hey, don’t mind me, Kid, I’m just trying to get to know my neighbor.” Eren said in an effort to save himself, as they both stepped into the elevator. Which seemed to work, since he noticed that Y/N rolled her eyes, the tell tale sign that she was annoyed by his actions, proving that this particular one was believable.
“Well, I’m starting to think that I know a little bit too much about you.” Y/N said, which confused Eren, as they hadn’t had a conversation that was any deeper than small talk.
For the past couple of weeks, Y/N had noticed that Eren was quite the busy man. To her dismay, she had realized that they not only shared a parking space, but they also, in fact, shared a wall. Which was only proven to her when she heard the unmistakable sound of moans filtering through the thin walls of her apartment.
It’s not like Y/N was a prude when it came to sex. She had a fair share of partners within her life. But she had never met anyonewho had been so… vocal, when it came to such an intimate experience. She herself had only let herself get so loud when she knew no one else could hear her except for the person she was with. So, it was jarring for her to hear the obvious sounds of sex coming from the other side of the room.
At first, she had thought that Eren had a girlfriend. But as they continued living as neighbors, she noticed that it was a new woman everyday, who was leaving his apartment. She didn’t know if that fact was relieving or not. But she also wondered why she cared at all. It’s not like she was interested in him or anything. He was just noticeable. Mainly because he seemed like the type of man that wanted to be noticed. And unfortunately for her, he was getting what he wanted. How couldn’t she notice when he made the women he was with sound like that.Y/N shook her head, trying to rid the thought of how good he was in bed. She registered how his features twisted with confusion.
“Did you know we share a wall?” Was all she said for an explanation, as she pressed the button for their floor. Eren’s eyes widened with realization.
“Apparently, I didn’t.” He responded. His eyes roamed over the figure of the girl beside him. From her body language he could tell that she was shy about the idea of him having sex on the other side of the wall. The thought that she was so innocent caused his stomach to churn with something unexpected. For some reason he found that this side of her was… endearing.
“Well, I hope you enjoy the show.” Eren said next. He didn’t really know why he said it. All he knew was that it would get her riled up. And apparently, he liked her when she was riled up.
“It’s not so much about meenjoying it.” Y/N said, and she didn’t have to explain the rest of her thought. Eren knew what she was alluding to. It’s as if she were daring him. Daring him to admit that he liked to be heard. That he liked to be known. Known by her. Eren looked over at her, slightly surprised that she was that bold. The way she held his stare surprised him too. He opened his mouth to send back a retort but he couldn’t find the words. Y/N took this as her cue to continue.
“Will you just keep it down? Some of us like to sleep.” She muttered, finally breaking eye contact with the man. This seemed to unfreeze him from his stupor.
“What a waste of time.” He joked, and Y/N just shook her head, unamused.
The two of them finally made it to their floor, no other words were exchanged as they journeyed down the hall to their respective apartments. His eyes followed her figure as she stopped in front of her door. Eren watched as she procured her keys from her bag, the soft jingle of metal pulled him back to reality, as he realized that he was observing her once more.
He wasn’t sure what had gotten into him, or why this girl was so interesting to him, especially when she annoyed him like no other. How many times was she going to complain about something he did? Here he was just trying to live his life and she always had something to say. But at the same time, why did he even care? Eren knew nothing about this girl. So why was he so preoccupied by what she thought of him?
Annoyance pierced through Eren’s chest as he unlocked his own door. He wasn’t sure if it was towards Y/N or himself. Maybe both. Without saying anything more to the girl that lived in the apartment next to his, he moved inside, tossing his keys in the bowl that sat on a side table next to his door. As he moved deeper into his apartment, he told himself that this was the last time where he let his thoughts wander to Y/N. She was nobody to him. He wouldn’t waste any more time on her. Eren was reassured by his promise to himself. He knew that he could go about his day, and not have to worry about the girl next door.
~
Meanwhile, Y/N was sitting at her kitchen counter. Her laptop now opened in front of her as she scrolled through the pictures that she had taken earlier this evening. Mikasa, thank god, had a successful meeting with Nanaba, and her pitch was accepted. When the writer had asked Y/N to be the photographer for her piece, Y/N was elated. How could she say no when her friend had worked so hard on this article. And now, after the interviews and photoshoots were finished, all they had to do was polish everything up.
Diving into her work, Y/N noticed that she had spent very little time worrying about her new neighbor. The only times she did think of him, was when she ran into him in the parking lot. Which… now that she thought about it, happened to be everyday. But, that really didn’t matter because as soon as she was behind her door she was back in her own little world. That was until the noises of his… endeavors would bleed through the thin walls of her room. Thus forcing his way into even the private parts of her life. It was suffocating.
Sure, it didn’t happen as often as one would consider a nuisance. But it was enough to annoy the living daylights out of her. If it were anyone else, she would turn a blind eye. Who was she to get involved into someone else’s personal life? But with Eren? For some reason it felt personal. It felt like he was trying to get a rise out of her. And maybe she was just making it up in her head, but the smirk that he gave her every time they met told her otherwise. He liked pushing her buttons, she could tell. It was only in her own determination, that kept her reactions to a minimum. Y/N didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of her obvious annoyance with him.
Thankfully, Eren was particularly quiet this afternoon. As she worked on her editing, there were little to no disturbances. Y/N was back to her normal, everyday routine without having to worry about anything other than herself. And it was all that she could have hoped for after the stressful work day she had been through.
Currently, warm water ran gentle streams down her figure as her troubles washed away through the drain. A sigh left her lips as her fingers tangled themselves in the rough mesh of her loofah, scrubbing her skin raw to cleanse herself free from her tension. Her head was empty as the soap formed bubbles at her feet. This was exactly what she needed to relax herself. She was in a state of eternal bliss when she finally exited the shower, as if she were on top of a cloud that carried her to the comfort of her bed. Before she dived into the covers that would eventually coerce her into peaceful slumber, she slipped into her usual pajamas of an oversized t-shirt.
When Y/N’s head rested on her silk pillowcase, a soft smile graced her lips. Finally, the day was over. Her tired eyelids fluttered to a close, hiding the iris of her eyes. The world around her started to fade away as sleep took over her form. She could practically see the sheep that jumped over her head. But then, her eyes shot open at the unmistakable sound of Eren through the walls.
“Fuck.”She heard him say, in a tone that was definitely notinnocent. Her hypothesis was proven right as moans quickly followed after the curse word.
Again?Y/N thought to herself as an annoyed groan left her lips. She turned over, moving deeper under her covers, grabbing a pillow to press against the ear that wasn’t pressed against the bed. She was hoping to protect herself from the inconvenience by blocking out the noise. But alas, it was to no avail, his moans were growing louder and louder. Honestly, how horny was this man that he had to do this almost every night?
At this point, Y/N was over it. Why should she let him get away with disturbing her peace? Before she knew it, her determination and anger had caused her to kick the blankets away from herself. Her feet were practically moving on their own as they brought her through her living room, out of her front door and into the hallway. She finally registered what she was doing when she placed herself in front of his front door. But by that point it was too late, her knuckles had already connected with his door with three sharp knocks.
She thought that she could get away with only that. She could go back to her apartment and hide herself there until he stopped what he was doing. Surely, he was too distracted to hear her knocking at his door at midnight and she wouldn’t have to be confronted with the sight of him, mid-coitus. Y/N turned, thinking that she could leave without having to deal with the consequences of her annoyance finally getting to her. But as she did the door swung open.
Her eyes widened at the sight of him. He was shirtless. Y/N gulped as her eyes wandered the surface of his chiseled upper body, it was glistening with sweat that was obviously there due to his exerted energy. His gray sweats hung low on his hips, accentuating the deep v-line that directed towards his—
Y/N’s eyes snapped up to his face, his attractive features twisted with annoyance, clearly bothered by her presence.
“Can I help you?” He asked, leaning against his door frame, crossing his muscular forearms across his chest. Y/N straightened her back, determined not to get distracted by his stupid good looks. Since she was already here, standing at his door, might as well get what she wanted.
“Did you forget that we shared a wall? Or do my sentences just go one ear and out the other?” Y/N asked, crossing her own arms. Eren stifled a laugh at her disgruntled expression. She was kind of cute when she was angry… The man shook the thought from his mind. No way did he just call her cute when she was disrupting his night. Eren hardened his features as he tried to register what she was saying.
“I’m sorry… What are you talking about?” He finally responded, needing more clarification to what she was complaining about this time.
“Look, I’m glad you’re getting some, I’m sure the stress relief makes you far less of an asshole than you already are.” She told him, and Eren’s mouth quirked up into an amused half-smile at the mention of sex. “But will you and whatever girl you’re with this time, pleasekeep it down, I’ve had a hard enough day as it is without you ruining my sleep.”
Eren tilted his head as he mulled over her words. ‘The girl you’re with’ is what she had said. Which was terribly funny, taking into account that he wasn’t with a girl since he wastrying to be considerate about what she had said earlier. Though without his usual hook-up for the evening he was in desperate need of some release, so he had settled for his hand for the night. Eren had found it quite interesting that she was that in tune with the sounds of his pleasure. In fact, it excited him a little. And since sex was currently on his mind, due to the fact that his cock was in the palm of his hand literally a minute ago, his horniness distracted him from his annoyance. And it wasn’t helping that Y/N was clad in only a gray t-shirt with the emblem of what was most likely the university she graduated from, the soft skin of her thighs on full display.
“Okay, I’ll keep it down.” Eren nodded, and Y/N let out a breath of relief, thinking that this conversation was finally over. But he wouldn’t let her get away. It seemed like she had forgotten. Big. Red. Button. Eren was going to push it. “But, I’ll have you know that there isn’t anybody with me.”
Y/N had begun to turn back to her door, but his words had instantly ceased all movement in her body. He was creating all that noise by himself?Y/N swallowed at the lump that was forming in her throat. Her skin was heating up at the mention of what he did during his own time, but she couldn’t let him get to her. She turned to face him to find a mischievous smirk playing across his features. Realization hit Y/N at that moment, he was trying to tease her. Annoyance caused her to grit her teeth, mostly at herself, since she couldn’t let him have the last word. She willed herself to stop her mouth from moving, but nevertheless Eren got his way, earning a reaction from the girl.
“Off your game, Jaeger?” She asked, calling him by the last name she had inadvertently learned throughout their time of knowing each other. She inwardly cursed at herself for not thinking of anything more clever than that, as Eren’s smirk still stayed plastered on his face.
“Nope,” He said, simply, popping the ‘p’. He rested his head against the door frame, his eyelids hooded as he looked down at her. Y/N felt vulnerable under his gaze. “I just found something new to… pique my interests.”
It was almost immediate, her reaction to his words. It was as if her whole body had erupted into flames right then and there in that hallway. And Eren obviously took notice of this as his grin grew wider. Y/N’s cheeks were flushed from her embarrassment, she crossed her arms over her chest as if Eren had x-ray eyes and could see right through her. Which he wouldn’t even need since her reaction to his words revealed everything she was thinking. The worst part was, he didn’t even say specifically if he meant her. But it almost felt like he did. And now he had irrevocably made her a fool. Y/N hated how good at this he was.
She scowled up at his amused features, “Can you please just be quiet? I’d like to get some sleep without you triggering my gag reflex.”
“Mm, now that’s a thought that’ll keep me going.” Eren responded slyly. His tone of voice was husky and Y/N scoffed at his innuendo.
“Whatever.” She retorted, turning back towards her apartment. “I’m going to bed.”
“Sweet dreams, Kid.” Was the last thing she heard before her door was fully shut behind her, making Eren triumphant in having the last word.
~
Y/N’s hands immediately found her cheeks in an effort to subside the heat that had rushed to her face. Her back was flush up against her front door as she tried to control her breathing, and she was pissed that Eren had this effect on her. The girl slapped at her cheeks, hoping that the self-inflicted pain would replace the creeping feeling of her own arousal. She didn’t want to let this man affect the inner-workings of her vagina. So she ignored the ache that had presented itself the moment she saw Eren in all of his half-naked, sweaty glory, and proceeded back to her bedroom.
Her blankets welcomed her with the warmth that her body had left behind. She sank further into her bed, trying to conjure up the pure innocent image of sheep that had almost drifted her off into dreamland earlier that night. But as she clenched her eyes shut, the soft cream-color of their wool had morphed and shifted into the blinding white of Eren’s teasing grin. And that came attached with the body that was leaning against his door frame. And in the quiet solitude of her mind she couldn’t help but allow herself to recall the sight of him in his sweats. The deep V that pointed directly to his cock that was still slightly hardened from the actions he was committing against himself.
Y/N could hardly believe that he opened the door in that state. But somewhere in the pit of the stomach she was grateful for the image. Another fact she could hardly believe. However, even if she didn’t believe it, that didn’t stop the way her thighs were slowly starting to rub against one another, the sheets soft against her skin as they contorted with the movement of her body. She rolled over onto her stomach, hugging her pillow underneath her head, willing her body to stop moving.
But this new position had offered her something firm underneath her, and subconsciously her hips started rolling against the surface of her mattress. A sigh left her lips at the delicious new form of friction. And with her own aural confirmation to her pleasure, it finally hit her what she was doing. She parted her legs, hoping that would stop her from squeezing her thighs together. But that only made the slick in her panties more obvious as the cool night air hit her center. And the space that now resided between her legs left room for imagination. A spot where someone could fit so perfectly. Where Erencould fit so perfectly.
Eren.
Eren!?
And at the exact same moment, as if he knew that her thoughts would always lead to him, another soft moan seeped its way through her paper thin walls. A whimper soon followed and that instantly brought forth an ache of arousal that shot through her whole entire body like electricity. A shuddering breath escaped her lips as Eren so clearly ignored her pleas to stay quiet and his moans grew louder. But now… now that Y/N knew that he was alone. That he was whimpering and begging for the touch of his very own hand, the night had taken a very drastic turn for the girl.
Images of Eren in his bed shoved its way to the forefront of her mind. She pictured him, with his back against their shared wall, mere inches away from Y/N, with his hand wrapped firmly around his dripping cock. He was probably moving at a slow and steady pace, teasing himself because he seemed like the type of man to take his time and to relish in all of the pleasure he was giving himself.
A dull thud could be heard against the plaster, and immediately the thought of Eren with his head thrown back on the wall behind him had found the girl. It was like she was watching him right now, she could see how his adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he finally moved at a faster pace, his precum leaking out over his fingers as he did. More curses escaped past his lips and Y/N was now squirming in her sheets. Her own hand slowly carving between the mattress and her stomach, moving closer and closer to where she needed it.
Her hand was inching downwards at a snail’s pace, her mind clouded with arousal, but also with the moral dilemma of masturbating to the sounds of her neighbor doing the same. It felt wrong, so wrong to the point where it was exciting. And the feel of her own hand burning through the fabric of her t-shirt was slowly releasing all of her inhibitions. Her tribulations subsided the moment her fingertips dipped beneath the elastic band of her panties. And at that point there was no stopping what she was about to commit.
Almost immediately her hand had found her aching clit and a small whimper left her form from the icy touch of her own fingers. The contrast between the coolness of her digits and the heat of her arousal brought forth a strange sense of satisfaction as she began to rub slow circles into the bundle of nerves. Finally touching herself felt like a dam breaking as sexual gratification took over her form.
She dipped her fingers even lower, being met with her wetness that had been accumulating this whole time. A gasp of surprise had rippled through her, because never in her life had she ever been this wet. It was like dipping her fingers into melting wax, it poured over the entirety of her fingers and when she brought it back up to her clit, she had to hold back the moan that was trying to force its way out of her throat. She wouldn’t let it. She didn’t want to give Eren the satisfaction.
Right now she was only concerned with her own pleasure as she started to grind against her hand. Her hips were moving at an eager pace that would be embarrassing if anyone ever saw her in this state of desperation. But then the man on the other side of the wall let out another harsh curse, and she thought of how it would feel to be under his gaze right now.
In the deepest, darkest corner of her mind she conjured up the image of him, not on his own bed, but standing in the doorway of her room. His eyes would most likely be darkened with lust. He would watch how she fucked herself with her own fingers. He would probably look at her with that stupid fucking teasing smirk of his, and then say something cocky. But instead of annoying Y/N like it usually would, it would bring forth a surge of excitement.
Because she knew that after he spoke his words, he would cross that room at a tortuously slow pace. He would crawl over her form until his front was flush against her back. She arched up into nothingness, but somehow her imagination was so vivid she could practically feel his hard cock pressed into her ass. And then it would be his own hand traveling between her body and the mattress, and it would be his fingers that replaced her own, rubbing tantalizing circles on her clit. He would grind his erection against her ass, he would leave searing kisses on the back of her neck. The thought had her edging closer and closer to her sweet release—
Another loud and forceful moan filtered its way into her room, forcing Y/N’s daydream away. This time it was louder and more provocative than before, and Y/N was certain that Eren was cumming. His moans were more desperate.
The interruption of her daydream did nothing to stop her pleasure. Instead, knowing that he was in that room— his bare chest probably covered in his own cum, had the girl tipping over the edge. Her legs started to shake as her own orgasm rolled through her. She felt as her own release pooled in her panties, effectively ruining them since she forgot to remove them in her haste. Heavy breaths filtered through her nose as she bit down on her pillow, trying hard not to let her moans escape.
And as she slowly came down from her high, she wondered what Eren was thinking of when he finally came. Probably one of the many conquests he brought home. The girl felt foolish that she just came at the sound of his pleasure, when she probably didn’t even cross his mind.
Little did she know, on the other side of the wall, as Eren wiped his cum from his chest with a discarded t-shirt, his mind was reeling from the fact that he just came because of the conjured up image of him fucking the girl next door.
~~~
A/N: So obviously this escalated really quickly… let’s see how they both handle this new underlying factor to their relationship ;). I hope you enjoyed! And as always please feel free to message me :)
Summary:The reader is used to her usual routine. A routine she found comfort in. But suddenly that all changes by the sight of a big shiny motorcycle parked in her spot.
A/N: Hellooo everybody!! it’s finally time for Love Thy Neighbor lol. This fic was inspired by true events when a stupid motorcycle would not stop parking in my spot, blocking my moped in. For me it ended with an annoyance that didn’t stop until I moved away. For you it ends with Eren :) I hope you enjoyyyy :)) (Also will most likely be posting either tuesdays or wednesdays, depending how fast I get the chapters done)
Chapter 1
There comes a time in the early morning where the sun is much brighter than people normally assume. Usually, when people think of those who wake up in the wee hours of the morning, they imagine they wake up before the sun. When the sky is barely lit in an array of colors that only come when the sun is just peaking through the horizon. And sure, there are those who wake up when it’s still dark outside. But most of the population stays asleep until the sun is high in the sky, waking up at a reasonable time, starting their day on the right foot.
And then there are those who wake up in between. When the sky is no longer dark, though it is still far too early for comfort. Y/N Y/L/N, was unfortunately, one of the in-betweeners. It was unfortunate, because it was definitely not by choice.
Every morning, Y/N was woken up by beams of sunlight that streamed through her window, stirring her awake by kissing her face like a lover would. Though, in her opinion, it was far less romantic as the heat punctured her skin. This morning wasn’t any different than all the others as she clenched her eyes shut, trying to give herself a few more minutes of precious sleep. She turned over on her side, trying to escape the inevitable sunlight. A small whine left her lips as she settled deeper under her duvet. She knew she had a couple hours before she had to go to work, and she so desperately wanted those hours of sleep. But it was no use. She was awake, which meant she had to start her day.
Y/N kicked the blankets away from her before rolling out of the comfort of her bed. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she begrudgingly left her bedroom. As she stood on the precipice of her living room, she stopped. For just a single second she took a moment to just breathe. And then, in the next second, just like she did every morning, she fell into her daily routine. Coffee, shower, breakfast, wash, rinse, repeat. Every single day is just the same as the last. Y/N didn’t mind the little routine that she had for herself. In fact she quite enjoyed it. Over the years she has perfected her daily rituals and she wouldn’t have it any other way. She wasn’t sure if she liked change and so far she hasn’t had the misfortune of running into it. That was until a few hours later when she was finally heading to work and she made her way into the parking garage, she noticed that for the first time something did, in fact, change.
It wasn’t a small change that could go unnoticed like fresh paint over the lines that indicated the parking spaces or the flickering light in the right corner of the garage finally being swapped out with a new bulb, (which has yet to happen to Y/N’s dismay). It was a big, monumental, noticeable change. The reason being was that it directly affected the girl and her routine.
She stood in front of her parking space with a look of indignation across her features. Right at the end of her spot, effectively blocking in her precious cream colored vespa, was a big, ugly motorcycle. Well, that was a bit harsh, considering it wasn’t the vehicle’s fault it was parked in front of her form of transportation. The motorcycle was actually quite nice, it was sleek and all black and was most likely very expensive. The problem was its owner, who was unknown. But with this stunt, Y/N knew enough to know that they were decidedly inconsiderate. Who in their right mind, with any sense of moral code, would block someone into their parking spot? Though as it turned out, Y/N didn’t have time to investigate the matter. Looking at her phone, she saw the time and after seeing that she would most definitely be late to work, she sighed, realizing she didn’t have a choice. Looking at the positioning of this person’s motorcycle, she discovered that it was possible to get her moped out of its spot. But this did make her life harder than it needed to be.
After maneuvering around the bike, she placed her camera bag into the basket that sat on the back of her moped, locking it up so she knew it was safe. Y/N then removed the chain from her back wheel, placing it in the compartment that sat under her seat. When she finally swung her leg over the vehicle, determination settled over her form as she faced her unexpected problem.
Luckily, getting her moped past the obstacle took a lot less time than expected and she got away without scratching the car to her right. And after her frustrations were behind her with the wind whipping through her hair as she drove to work, her anger started to subside. No use crying over spilt milk. Y/N told herself. Besides, it was probably a one time thing. The motorcycle will be gone by tomorrow and she can go on living.
At least that’s what she thought, until the same thing happened the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that. The first time, when Y/N returned home the motorcycle was gone and she thought it was over. But lo and behold, when she went downstairs to head to work the next morning her good mood was immediately shot when the motorcycle was back in its place, blocking her in. And now it’s a common occurrence. And the anger that escaped her on that very first day was now back in full force.
It has now been a full week of this disturbance and Y/N was at the end of her rope. She stormed into the office, ignoring the weird glances that her coworkers sent her from behind their laptops. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with any of them, writers were a pretentious bunch. Y/N pressed on until she was finally able to flop down in her chair, throwing her head in her hands.
“Well, aren’t you a ray of sunshine.”
Y/N peaked up from between her fingers to find her coworker and very good friend, Mikasa Ackerman, leaning up against her desk. She looked very professional in her pinstripe pantsuit, which she was probably wearing due to her pitch meeting later in the day. Or else she would have been adorned in her more casual clothing. Y/N felt grateful she didn’t have any important meetings today, life was far more comfortable when she was allowed to wear what she wanted. Which today happened to be a simple ensemble of blue jeans and a simple white tee.
“Don’t even start.” She groaned, shifting her arms so that she could rest her head on her forearms.
“Woah, what’s got you all riled up?” Mikasa asked.
“Is it the motorcycle, again?” Another voice chimed in, most likely coming from their friend Historia Reiss who twisted her chair around from her desk in front of Y/N’s. The girl just responded with an annoyed grunt that was muffled from the fabric of her cardigan. This was all the confirmation Historia needed for her to roll her chair closer to Y/N’s desk, reaching over to pat her on the back with soft affection. Y/N accepted the comfort, relaxing under her friend’s touch.
“What motorcycle?” Mikasa asked, looking over at Historia, quizzically.
“Someone has been blocking Y/N’s moped from leaving her parking space.” Historia explained.
“At her apartment?” the raven haired girl questioned, Y/N lifted her head to nod.
“I’m sorry, how is this a big deal?”
“It’s not!” Y/N agreed, though she felt like she needed to explain her frustrations, “But it’s been happening everyday. And I guess I have the room for their bike in my spot but it’s the principle of the matter! It’s myspot. It came with the apartment.”
“Why don’t you just leave a note?” Historia offered, but her two friends knew what her answer was going to be. Y/N shifted awkwardly in her seat, looking down at her shoes so she didn’t have to look at their faces when she answered.
“I don’t want to deal with the confrontation.” She explained, and her two friends groaned at her lack of backbone.
“Y/N, you have to start standing up for yourself!” Historia told her, and coming from anyone else that sentence probably would have come out a lot harsher. But the small blonde was practically a reincarnated angel, and her voice was filled with only concern for her friend. Y/N bit her lip as she contemplated Historia’s words.
“I mean, maybe it’s not so bad?” Y/N eventually said, “I’ve been able to live with it for a week now, maybe I should just accept it.”
“You were just complaining about how much you hate it.” Mikasa pointed out, and Y/N cursed herself for confiding in her friends. “You can’t keep letting people walk all over you.”
Y/N deflated when she realized her friends were right. She did have a tendency to put other people’s happiness before her own. That was definitely one of her worst traits. Flashbacks of shitty ex-boyfriends to the mean girls at school flitted through her mind. Y/N didn’t know why she let those people take advantage of her. But what she did know was that she was tired of letting this happen. At that moment, she decided this time would be different.
“You know what?” Y/N suddenly said, gaining the attention of her friends, “You guys are right, this is going to stop. Today.”
“Atta girl.” Mikasa grinned, clapping Y/N on her shoulder with her slender hand. Historia beamed at Y/N from the other side of the desk.
“We believe in you.” Historia said, grabbing Y/N’s hand and squeezing. Warmth spread throughout Y/N’s chest from her friends’ support.
“Thanks.” Y/N smiled softly, “But enough about me. Are you ready for your pitch, Mikasa?”
Y/N turned towards her well-dressed friend and caught her rolling her eyes. She fiddled with the pens that sat in a mug on Y/N’s desk as she answered.
“I swear to god, if Nanaba rejects anotherone of my articles, I might quit.”
“Oh, don’t joke around like that!” Historia scolded, “Sonder wouldn’t be the same without you.”
Sonderwas the local magazine that the three of them worked for. Named after the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. When Y/N first heard that definition she immediately fell in love. The magazine revolved around telling the stories of the voices that were left unheard. It specialized in fashion, music, culture and everything in between. However it wasn’t the content of the magazine that brought it to her attention. Y/N was drawn to this magazine because of its aesthetic. Sonderfirst caught her eye when she was in line at the grocery store and the stark contrast of its cover next to its competitors was enough to pique her interest. The magazine had no flashy taglines or before and after pictures of random celebrities that she didn’t even know the name of. All it sported was the name of the magazine and a black and white picture of a girl with thick dark braids, the look on her face was powerful and the emotions it elicited from Y/N was enough for her to want to be part of this art. She thought that her photography would be the perfect fit for this magazine. And a few months later, after she sent in her portfolio, it turned out that they thought so too and offered her a job.
Mikasa was actually the first writer she was paired with. The two of them were sent to interview a new up and coming band and while they were there they became fast friends. She met Historia later that week. She was one of the editors for the magazine, and she was working with Mikasa on her latest article. Soon enough, the three of them became inseparable.
“She keeps giving me the puff pieces.” Mikasa groaned, “I’m sick of puff, I’ll throw up if I hear that word one more time.”
“Puff.” Y/N said nonchalantly as she placed her bag on her desk, though she broke out in laughter when Mikasa groaned and lightly hit her shoulder with the back of her hand.
“I’m sure Nanaba will come around this time.” Historia then said, ignoring the violence that occured, “You’ve done great research for this article, she’ll see how hard you’ve been working.”
“She better.” Mikasa grumbled.
“She will.” Y/N reassured as she finally started unpacking her things. Pulling out her camera to edit the latest photo set she had been working on. Her friends took this as their cue to get back to their own work, and as Mikasa left her desk, Y/N and Historia offered her good luck before turning to their respective assignments.
The day went on as usual. Y/N poured herself into her work. Which wasn’t hard to do considering she loved what she did. Spending time working on her photography was just what she needed to get her problem at home out of her head. In fact, the motorcycle that has wreaked havoc on her life hadn’t crossed her mind all day. By the time she finished her assignments, all she was thinking about was going home and crawling into bed. The only thing standing between that was the fifteen minute drive back to her apartment.
Luckily, the journey went by swiftly, and when she returned to her apartment, the sight of her empty parking spot was a reminder to the issue at hand. She decided right then and there that she would write out a note tonight and tape it to the random motorcycle tomorrow morning. But then as she was bent over, locking her chain around the wheel of her moped, the loud sound of an engine roaring came from behind her.
Y/N stood from where she was and when she turned, right before her eyes was the culprit of her dismay. Just like his bike, this man was wearing all black. His face was covered by his helmet, a leather jacket adorned his broad shoulders. The mystery man pulled up into her spot, cutting his engine before he swung his long leg over his bike. Without sparing a glance at the girl, he turned to walk away, not even bothering to lock up his vehicle. As he walked towards the entrance of the building, he took off his helmet to reveal his long brunette hair, tied up in a bun, most likely to keep it out of his face as he drove. Y/N was frozen with shock. The audacity of this man to not even acknowledge her had her blood boiling. She thought back to her earlier conversation with her friends and decided she couldn’t let him get away with this.
“Excuse me!” She called after him, but either he didn’t hear her or he pretended not to, because he didn’t turn around. Y/N quickened her pace catching up with him before he headed inside.
“Excuse me.” She repeated, pulling at his shoulder which effectively caught his attention. He finally turned to look at her and when he did she had to stop herself from choking on her words. As it turned out, the person who was complicating her life was far more attractive than she expected. His teal eyes burned into her with a bored expression as he slowly looked her up and down.
“You’re excused.” He said simply, his voice was deeper than expected. Most people would probably be hypnotized by his 40 hertz voice, but his rude demeanor cut through Y/N like a knife. Her mouth dropped with offense as he brushed past her.
“What?” She said to herself incredulously, she couldn’t believe his audacity. Y/N shook her head, going after him once more. She caught him as he was waiting for the elevator.
“That’s my spot.” Y/N declared, placing herself in front of him so he was forced to look at her. He raised an eyebrow at her.
“What are you talking about?” The man asked. And Y/N was a tad embarrassed that she obviously cared about this a little too much. Nevertheless, she persisted.
“You keep parking in my spot.” She told him, “You block me in and it’s extremely rude.”
The man stared at her with an overturned smirk, and she would’ve given him points for at least trying to hold back his laughter. But soon enough the deep sound of his laughter rumbled out from his chest.
“What’s so funny?” Y/N questioned, crossing her arms.
“I just think it’s funny that you’re calling me rude when you’re the one who manhandled me in the parking lot.” He grinned, shaking his head.
“I would hardly say that was manhandling!” Y/N defended, “You were ignoring me, what else was I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know, maybe talk to me like a normal human being?” He responded, and Y/N could have screamed with how frustrating this man was.
“I tried to, but you didn’t even give me a chance when you brushed me off.” She said instead. The man simply shrugged. A ding sounded out into the lobby, indicating that the elevator had arrived.
“I don’t take kindly to strangers.” He said as he stepped around her, moving into the elevator. Y/N followed after him and placed herself in front of the buttons so he couldn’t get to his floor. He was now obviously annoyed by her as he huffed air out from between his lips. She didn’t really care though. It served him right, considering he has been annoying her for the past week.
“Can you please just move your bike out of my parking spot and then this could all be over.” Y/N told him.
“Yourspot?” He questioned, “I thought that was a spot dedicated for two-wheelers.”
“What? No, It’s mine. It was assigned to me when I moved in.” Y/N told him.
“That’s not what Hannes told me.” He said, matter-of-factly. Y/N’s eyebrows pulled together at the mention of their landlord.
“What did Hannes tell you?”
“That I could park there.” He answered with a shrug.
“You’re lying.” She replied, narrowing her eyes at him.
“Scouts Honor.” He defended, holding up the hand gesture to prove it. Though he did not seem to be the type of man who was ever a boy scout. She scowled at him and his grin grew wider as he paired it with a sly wink.
“We’re clearing this up with Hannes right now.” Y/N demanded, turning around so she could press the button to the first floor. The man behind her threw his head back with a groan. He most likely just wanted to go back to his apartment so he could get away from her but she wasn’t going to let that happen any time soon.
The elevator creaked as it stirred back to life. Neither one of them said a word as it slowly started to move upwards. Luckily, since the trip was a short one, there wasn’t much time for the awkward tension to settle. When the doors opened, Y/N positioned herself behind the unnamed man and pushed him out of the small room. She didn’t want to risk his escape.
The door to Hannes office sat right across the hall from the elevator, so it didn’t take long for Y/N’s hand to find the solid wood of his door and knock three times. A muffled thud sounded out from behind the door and after a few more moments of rustling, it finally opened to reveal the older man, his usual happy-go-lucky smile already gracing his features.
“Y/N! To what do I owe the pleasure?” The man boomed, Y/N flinched since the decibel this man could reach always caught her off guard. She opened her mouth to explain, but then the blonde man’s eyes wandered over to her unlikely companion.
“I see that you’ve met our newest resident.” He grinned, “How’ve you been, Eren? Are you settling in nicely?”
“I am, sir. The apartment is really nice.” The man, who’s name was apparently Eren, responded. Y/N sent him a pointed glare. So he did have the ability to be polite. It just turned out she didn’t deserve his kindness. She rolled her eyes as the two men continued.
“I’m glad to hear that!” Hannes said, “Is Y/N here giving you the grand tour?”
Eren glanced down at the girl beside him. So her name was Y/N. At least, now he had a name for the girl who was annoying him endlessly. She really put a damper on his day to say the least. All he wanted to do was get back to his apartment and try out the game demo his coworker had sent him. But now here he was being dragged around the apartment building by this woman.
“Actually, we’re here to talk about my parking spot.” Y/N interrupted before Eren could answer Hannes’ question.
“Oh?” The older gentleman responded, “What’s the issue?”
“Well,Erenhas been parking in my spot. It makes it difficult for me to leave.” She explained, she said his name with a hint of disdain and Eren rolled his eyes at her tone. Though, Hannes didn’t notice any of the hostility, he just looked between the two with his usual casual demeanor.
“Yeah, I said it was okay.” Hannes agreed, and Y/N felt her frustration come back in full force. The man beside her smirked as he was proven right.
“I’m sorry, I feel like I should have been part of this conversation.” She said, trying to keep her tone positive.
“Oh, well, I told Eren to talk to you about it.” Hannes told her, and Y/N could’ve strangled the man next to her for neglecting to tell her that part. Which also meant he was lying to her when he said that he thought the spot was free reign. This guy just keeps getting worse. “I assumed you said it was okay once I noticed his motorcycle in your spot.”
“I guess it must have slipped his mind, because he never came to talk to me about it.” Y/N said, looking over at Eren with an accusatory glare.
“You didn’t ask her to share her space?” Hannes looked towards Eren.
“You never gave me her information, sir.” Eren replied, and Hannes smacked his hand over his forehead.
“I completely forgot!” He exclaimed, “I’m so sorry, this is my fault.”
“So is there anywhere else for him to park?” Y/N asked, hope was rising in her chest. Maybe to make up for his mistake he will sort this whole thing out. Y/N could see the light at the end of the tunnel, and she will never have to deal with this jackass ever again.
“About that…” Hannes trailed off, and suddenly the fragile bit of hope that Y/N was holding in her hands withered away. “As it turns out, we don’t have enough parking spaces to give Eren his own. And since all you have is a moped I told him that you had the room to spare… Is that alright?”
Y/N wanted to tell him no. That was her spot, it has been ever since she moved in two years ago. And even though she didn’t even pay extra for the spot, she still had her claim over it. If they had come to ask her when he first moved in then maybe she would have said yes. But now that she knew that this guy was a total dick she had no interest in sharing anythingwith him. Even so, she felt like she couldn’t argue with them. Her shoulders fell with defeat. Her friends would be disappointed.
“I guess it is.” She sighed, running a hand over her hair. The man beside her perked up, obviously loving that he won this battle.
“Great! I’m glad we cleared that up.” Hannes beamed, clapping his hand on her shoulder. Y/N stiffened under his touch, she didn’t think she’d ever get used to Hannes overbearing friendliness. She looked over at Eren who glanced at her quickly before holding his hand out to the blonde man in front of him. Hannes grinned at his outstretched hand and removed his own from the girl’s shoulder to give him a vigorous handshake. Y/N thought it was out of place to shake someone’s hand after such a quick conversation but she was honestly relieved that the older man wasn’t touching her any more.
“Thank you, sir, sorry for taking up your time.” Eren said, and Hannes just waved him off telling him it was no problem. They all said their goodbyes and Hannes’ office door swung close, leaving Y/N alone with the stranger she had to share her parking spot with.
“Well, I guess that’s that.” Eren said, happily, clapping his hands like it was a done deal. Y/N glared at the tall man in front of her.
“You’re the worst.” She mumbled, turning towards the elevator and pressing the button so she could finally get away from this man.
“Is that any way to treat your parking space buddy?” He grinned, placing himself next to her as they waited for the doors to open. Y/N didn’t say anything, she just crossed her arms and stared ahead.
“Now you’re ignoring me.” He pointed out, and yet again, she stayed silent.
“You know, you’re a lot like a little kid.” Eren observed, and this got Y/N’s attention as her head snapped towards him.
“What? No I’m not.” She argued, slightly offended that he was jumping to these conclusions about her without even knowing her.
“Sure you are.” He shrugged, “You get all upset when things don’t go your way.”
“I’m not upset.” She countered, eliciting a snort of disbelief from Eren. “I’m just shocked at how inconsiderate you are.”
“Oh come on, Kid, I thought it was alright that I was parking there. You never left a note or anything. And besides… sharing is caring right?”
“… Kid?” She repeated, not paying attention to any other part of his sentence.
“It suits you, don’t you think?” Eren grinned at her, to which she just scoffed. The elevator doors finally slid open, the two of them filed inside.
“Whatever,” The girl said, she turned towards the buttons, “What floor are you on?”
“Seven.”
Y/N stilled, her hand hovering over the buttons. “No you aren’t.”
“Um, yes I am?” Eren said, stepping closer to her so he could press the button himself. The heat that he radiated washed over her form, but she didn’t register his proximity. She just stood there in shock as he did.
“ButI live on floor seven.” She said, regaining the use of her vocal chords as the elevator started moving. Eren raised an eyebrow.
“You do know that there’s more than one apartment on each floor, right?” He teased, leaning against the bar that wrapped around the whole of the elevator. Y/N gifted him an annoyed expression.
“I just mean that I didn’t even notice that you moved in.” Y/N explained.
“I don’t have a lot of things.” Eren told her, “It was quick.”
Y/N found his explanation to be a bit strange. She wondered how little he had if he was able to move into a whole entire apartment without her noticing. For some reason, it made him seem untouchable. As if him not having worldly possessions made it harder for anyone to pin him down.
Not that she wanted him to stick around. In fact, the thought of him leaving just as quickly as he came sounded pretty nice right about now. She’s only known him for half an hour and she already knew she preferred an Eren-free life.
“Look, I won’t bother you more than I have to.” He spoke up, as if he were reading her mind. “We’ll share the parking space and that’s it, you won’t ever see me around here. I like to keep to myself.”
“Wow, how generous.” Y/N replied sarcastically, hating how it sounded like hewas the one who had to give up the parking space. “And don’t worry about me. I’m already planning on never speaking to you again.”
“Oh? Okay, good.” Eren responded, his tone was slightly unsure, as he followed Y/N out into the hallway when they finally made it to their floor.
“Great.” Y/N said, and then she expected him to turn down to the opposite side of the building. But when he kept going in the same direction, she quickly became unsettled. She tried to ignore him as he silently walked behind her but his presence seemed to be suffocating.
Y/N stopped at her door, and she was relieved he kept walking, meaning that he wasn’t following her like she feared. But then he only moved a couple feet before stopping at the apartment right next to hers.
The two of them looked at each other from their respective doors. A scowl fell over Y/N’s features while a smirk graced the man beside her.
“This might be a lot harder than we thought, Kid.” Was all he said before disappearing into his apartment, leaving her alone in the hallway.
~
Y/N had decided that she officially hated change. She liked having a routine and she liked to know that everything would be the same. It kept her safe. And she didn’t have to worry about unexpected surprises out of her everyday life. She thought that it made life easier. Things were simple for her. But now, only after one day of knowing Eren, she felt it happen. Change was inevitable. And it was staring her right in the face.
She stood in front of her parking space as another slight change graced her life. When she went to unchain her moped, Eren’s motorcycle was now resting up against the wall that sat on the left side of her parking space, giving her more than enough room to leave. She was shocked that Eren was more considerate than their first encounter made him out to be. And for some reason this scared her. Because right in front of her was proof that her philosophy of hating change wasn’t as concrete as it had been. Because maybe some changes, no matter how small, were good.
~~~
A/N: Okayyyy a little warm up chapter, not much happens in this except for them meeting. I’m just realizing now that it has a pretty drastic change in tempo in the next chapter lol. So this won’t be a slow burn, but it’s fun nonetheless!!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! feel free to send a message :))
A/N: Hiiii everyone!! So as you all know this fic was a long time coming, and somewhere a long the way I lost motivation to write this one. But now that I’m back to writing for it, I’m actually really excited for you guys to read it. So obviously I can’t hold back and thought that I’d post a snippet from Chapter 1. I Hope you guys love this fic as much as I already do. And keep an eye out for the first Chapter, I should be posting it sometime this week :)))
“You know, you’re a lot like a little kid.” Eren observed, and this got Y/N’s attention as her head snapped towards him.
“What? No I’m not.” She argued, slightly offended that he was jumping to these conclusions about her without even knowing her.
“Sure you are.” He shrugged, “You get all upset when things don’t go your way.”
“I’m not upset.” She countered, eliciting a snort of disbelief from Eren. “I’m just shocked at how inconsiderate you are.”
“Oh come on, Kid, I thought it was alright that I was parking there. You never left a note or anything. And besides… sharing is caring right?”
“… Kid?” She repeated, not paying attention to any other part of his sentence.
“It suits you, don’t you think?” Eren grinned at her, to which she just scoffed. The elevator doors finally slid open, the two of them filed inside.
“Whatever,” The girl said, she turned towards the buttons, “What floor are you on?”
“Seven.”
Y/N stilled, her hand hovering over the buttons. “No you aren’t.”
“Um, yes I am?” Eren said, stepping closer to her so he could press the button himself. The heat that he radiated washed over her form, but she didn’t register his proximity. She just stood there in shock as he did.
“ButI live on floor seven.” She said, regaining the use of her vocal chords as the elevator started moving. Eren raised an eyebrow.
“You do know that there’s more than one apartment on each floor, right?” He teased, leaning against the bar that wrapped around the whole of the elevator. Y/N gifted him an annoyed expression.
“I just mean that I didn’t even notice that you moved in.” Y/N explained.
“I don’t have a lot of things.” Eren told her, “It was quick.”
Y/N found his explanation to be a bit strange. She wondered how little he had if he was able to move into a whole entire apartment without her noticing. For some reason, it made him seem untouchable. As if him not having worldly possessions made it harder for anyone to pin him down.
Not that she wanted him to stick around. In fact, the thought of him leaving just as quickly as he came sounded pretty nice right about now. She’s only known him for half an hour and she already knew she preferred an Eren-free life.
“Look, I won’t bother you more than I have to.” He spoke up, as if he were reading her mind. “We’ll share the parking space and that’s it, you won’t ever see me around here. I like to keep to myself.”
“Wow, how generous.” Y/N replied sarcastically, hating how it sounded like hewas the one who had to give up the parking space. “And don’t worry about me. I’m already planning on never speaking to you again.”
“Oh? Okay, good.” Eren responded, his tone was slightly unsure, as he followed Y/N out into the hallway when they finally made it to their floor.
“Great.” Y/N said, and then she expected him to turn down to the opposite side of the building. But when he kept going in the same direction, she quickly became unsettled. She tried to ignore him as he silently walked behind her but his presence seemed to be suffocating.
Y/N stopped at her door, and she was relieved he kept walking, meaning that he wasn’t following her like she feared. But then he only moved a couple feet before stopping at the apartment right next to hers.
The two of them looked at each other from their respective doors. A scowl fell over Y/N’s features while a smirk graced the man beside her.
“This might be a lot harder than we thought, Kid.” Was all he said before disappearing into his apartment, leaving her alone in the hallway.
~~~
A/N: Okay!!! this is obviously from the time where they first meet, I promise you that it gets much more exciting hehehe but I hope you enjoyed this snippet!! Please let me know if you want to be on the taglist!!!
warnings not edited, other than that… nothing much lol
genre fluff, angst ( ? ), modern au, established relationship
word count1.3k
inspirationn / a
synopsis in the final days you have with eren before you have to go away for college, he takes you on one last date before you leave
a / n back from a hiatus i wasn’t even aware i was taking only explanation is that i’ve been in between fandoms and didn’t feel like writing for anyone really. but i’ve recently attached myself to jjk so let’s see how that goes
“Eren, I don’t understand the need for a blindfold.” Your fingers came up to touch the material for the umpteenth time. Eren scoffed, his hand coming over to swat your hand away just like the other times.
“It wouldn’t be much of a surprise without one, would it?” Your body jerked to the right as Eren hit another sharp turn.
You huffed. “Well, the more you drive recklessly, the more I want this surprise to be over.”
He laughed. “Don’t worry, you big baby. We’re here now.” The car eased to a stop in what you guessed was a parking spot. It didn’t take long for you to process where this surprise was.
From the amount of turns, to the salty smell of the ocean. You already knew Eren had taken you to the beach.
“We’re at the beach?” Eren finally removed that blindfold. The beach was practically deserted at this hour, at least on the side Eren always brought you to.
“Don’t like it?” He asked, already getting out of the car.
You followed suit, opening the passengers door and having Eren join by your side. “I don’t mind but we come here all the time.”
“I know, I know,” Eren grabs the both of your wrists, leading you both from the pavement to the sea of sand. “But I wanted this to be the last spot we came to before you have to start packing tomorrow.”
Eren said it with a smile but you could tell that sentence hurt him more to say than for you to hear. For you, Eren had always put on a brave face. No matter what the circumstances were, he always made sure you knew he was “taking it well”.
Being one of the closest people to Eren, you knew when he was on the opposite spectrum of that. You knew when a situation was weighing down on him, you knew when he was stressed out, you could when he just wanted to breakdown.
You saw all those things clearly ever since you told him you wanted to travel for college. Specifically, thousands of miles away from him. Eren always knew he wanted to stay homebound for college, and so did you. But unlike him, you didn’t have much ties to your hometown. Besides him and your friends.
And you had the overwhelming want to travel since forever. Since you got the chance with a scholarship to a college across the country, you weren’t going to pass it up. Much to Eren’s dismay.
He was upset, to say the least. It wasn’t direct but he was trying to convince you to try other options. Like for example, stay with him. Thankfully, he let that hope go when he saw that you were serious about this decision.
Yet, even though you knew he had come to terms with the idea, he was still hurt and worried for your relationship. You were too. For the past year your relationship has managed to withstand anything, but the possibility that long distance could deliver the blow prodded at you.
“I think this is our usual spot.” Eren sat down on the sand, bringing you down with him. You two sat side by side in silence. Just listening to the repeated crashing of the waves.
It reminded you of the moment this had become you and Eren’s spot. One year ago, the both of you sitting close to this very spot on the sand. Talking about nothing. There was no worry that one of you had to leave for a while. Just the worry Eren had that you’d say no to his request of being his girlfriend.
The memory made you laugh, your forehead meeting your knees. Eren looked over in concern.
“Are you okay?” Your eyes met his curious gaze and you couldn’t help but laugh more.
“I was just thinking about the night you confessed to me. And how we started dating at this exact spot.” Your laughter subsided as you laid back onto the sand. In the moment, you weren’t worried where it landed but you knew you’d be annoyed when you say up.
Yet, when Eren joined you and copied the way you looked up at the sky, your future worries melted with ease.
“16 year old Eren was quite the romantic, choosing to confess to you at a beach at night.” Eren mused. You hummed, a soft laugh rumbling in your chest.
“Now that I think about it, I think that’s the most romantic thing you’ve done.” Your laughter was more audible when you heard Eren’s gasp.
His hand landed on his chest, he was obviously offended. “I have done romantic things since then,” He sat up onto his elbows.
“Like— remember the time I—” Eren paused when began to laugh more hysterically. He scoffed, plopping back onto the sand.
“You were joking.” He said bitterly in realization. You nodded, shuffling over to place your head on his chest.
“I was just joking, bub. You’re very romantic.” Eren sucked his teeth, his hand coming up to dust sand from your hair.
You cleared your throat. “I’m going to miss this.” You whispered, hesitant, hoping you didn’t cut deeper into any of Eren’s open wounds. He inhaled deeply.
“So am I.” He whispered back, his hand rested on the side of your neck, his thumb caressing your cheek.
The silence returned but you could only focus on the present. You wouldn’t get a moment like this with Eren for a while and that you couldn’t even imagine.
“You know,” Eren interrupted your thought process. You hummed in response. “I brought you here to stargaze.”
“Really?” You inquired.
“Yea. I wanted to say one of those cheesy lines like how, even though you’re thousands of miles away, I’d always be with you because of the stars. But then I realized that line was really bad.” He laughed it off. And usually, you would too. But just him admitting that weighed into the fact you’d really be without him and only with him through your devices.
You wouldn’t be able to hear any more borderline terrible jokes or what he considers romantic lines in person, on his chest, on his shoulder. The thought singly made tears well up in your eyes and your tears fell before you could blink them away.
The sudden wet spots of Eren’s shirt and the sound of your sniffling alerted him. He sat up immediately, bringing your body up as well.
“Oh no, I know it was really bad but don’t cry.” Eren’s fingers came to wipe your tears before cradling your face in his palms. You laughed at him sadly.
“I’m not crying because of your terrible line, idiot. I’m crying because I’m actually going miss you telling me them in person. It’s not going to be the same when we’re thousands miles apart.” Your explanation made Eren frown.
He sighed, leaning his forehead onto your own. “I know. And I know it’s selfish to say that I’d do anything for you to stay with me but I know you going to that college is what’s best for you. I want what’s best for you and if it means we’ll have to be apart for a while, I can accept that.”
Again with the silence with only the sound of the waves. You sat on Eren’s words, trying to accept the situation just like he had.
You scoffed, weakly hitting his chest. “How are you taking this better than me?”
Eren laughed, pulling back hut still keeping his hands cupping your face. “I’m not, seriously. But I love you and I know that this is what’s happening. And I know we’ll still be together no matter what.”
That made your frown upturn a bit. Eren had faith in your relationship, and there was no reason for you to have doubt when he didn’t.
inspo honestly, i’m going through an armin brainrot phase so
synopsisstill sad and mourning so here’s how i cope with aot ( again )
a/n i miss sasha so i needed to make one of these for valentines day activities ( isayama, if you ever see this. i’m under your bed )
eren yeager;
literally gone when you wake up
and you know exactly why ‘cause he does it every year
to say eren goes all out for valentines day would be an understatement
even though it happens every year, you never get tired of his planned out scavenger hunts
he has you run around the city for clues and it brings you to places the both of you have been before and of course, it ends with you meeting him at some restaurant or even back at home
( you prefer the restaurant because i headcanon that eren cannot cook for shit )
but still it’s really romantic and he will not hesitate to do it again ( or something even better ) the following year
armin arlert;
plain and simple, you’re not allowed to lift a finger
he brings you breakfast in bed, he’s giving you presents, he’s running you a bath, literally anything you want he’ll do it for you
( it’s like this on a regular basis but he denies that )
and he’ll make you both a dinner ( which is actually good )
and you guys would probably spend the rest of the night in this extravagant fort ( that armin built without a word ), watching romcoms
levi ackerman;
you never expect much every year but you never expect nothing
levi doesn’t really favor valentines day, he thinks it’s stupid and just a money grabber but ask that man to buy you a bouquet and he’s out the door
he’ll give it to you with a grimace while muttering something but you still find it romantic
but of course, grumpy still believes in the money grabbing part so he insists you guys stay in every year and he’ll cook instead
which you don’t mind ( again, ‘cause it’s actually good compared to w.e eren would’ve made )
every valentines day to date with levi has ended with some cheesy chick flick and he acts like he hates them but he’s definitely invested
hange zoë;
y’all are on vacation
every single year hange refuses to stay home for valentines day because they think it’s boring and generic
so, ( even though you think it’s too expensive), hange flies you guys out somewhere to spend the occasion
“we don’t need to fly out to the bahamas, hange. it’s just valentines day.”
“but i already booked the flight.”
you can’t complain though because spending your valentines day with hange on a beach is something you don’t mind doing every time february comes around
sasha braus;
no matter what the circumstances are, y’all are gonna eat out on valentines day
snow, rain, hail, y’all are going somewhere with food and sasha is determined
and always after your dinners, you guys go home and try to make a valentines day themed treat
which is typically unsuccessful because you have sasha as your own personal human trash disposal but it’s still romantic in the moment
jean kirstein;
just like levi, he’ll say valentines day is pointless but he’ll still have a table booked at some fancy restaurant “just because”
trust me, in the same breath he denies the fact he cares about the occasion he’ll be bending over backwards to get you a good gift
and he manages outdoes himself every year somehow and will still claim the day is stupid
definitely that one mfer that puts roses on the bed for “atmosphere purposes” when you open said gift
connie springer;
seriously, valentines day with connie is fun
he never sticks to anything annually
one year you’ll celebrate at the amusement park, or at a fancy restaurant, one year even landed you two at mcdonald’s but with connie it was all the same
i definitely see you guys just staying in one year and making personal cards for each other
it’s a complete mess of glitter, glue, markers, and stickers but with the amount of laughter it doesn’t matter
his card definitely had a corny dirty joke as the punchline but at this point you consider it romance
mikasa ackerman;
mikasa and valentines day simply don’t mix
kind of like jean and levi, she doesn’t understand it. but like genuinely, she doesn’t
“why do i need a special day to be sweet to you? i do that every day already.”
so, every year you have to turn the tables and do things for her that honestly come as a surprise
she genuinely never expects the presents you get her but she always shows her gratitude and thankfulness
and she keeps every one of them very close to her, literally still sleeps with the bear you won her on your first v—day date at a carnival
inspiration modern levi hcs,, aka the best things ever
synopsis in which you try to be discreet about your crush on the local tea shop owner but he’s not stupid, and— surprisingly— doesn’t mind
author’s note finally writing for my husband levi
It was completely accidental, the first time you stumbled in here. It was pouring down rain and you had had probably the worst day of your life at the office. All you wanted was a warm place to sit until the rain blew over.
Luckily for you, a shop you hadn’t even noticed a couple blocks from your job was open. Inside was warm just like you wanted, the atmosphere was nice and welcoming, the smell of various teas and coffees wafting through the air. It lured you to the counter where the display of baked goods were.
You had been so distracted then with the pastries that you didn’t even notice the questioning gaze from the raven that stood beyond the glass. Your memory was a bit hazy but you still remembered the clearing of his throat that brought you out of your trance.
And when your eyes flickered up to meet the gorgeous gray ones, you were greeted with the fact they belonged to an even better face. It still embarrassing that you gasped right in front of him, you still winced at that part.
But immediately you were so taken with the man who stood behind the counter. Who you soon came to know as the owner of the establishment, Levi.
It wasn’t the last time you came. Not only was the service and your order good, you couldn’t resist walking in and seeing his gray eyes welcome you.
To say you had a crush on Levi would be an understatement. It was silly. You felt like your younger self again whenever you were under his gaze. Just filled with butterflies at one simple glance.
You had been coming in for months now and your feelings for him still haven’t wavered. Even if you two haven’t ever held a full conversation together, they still lingered.
Currently, you sat in your usual spot. Enjoying the moment of your break before you had to travel those few blocks back to your workplace. This was the only place you came for breaks now.
Sitting alone in a corner with your tea and a croissant, your usual that Levi had memorized by now.
Speaking of Levi, he was doing his routinely dust down of the place. You could’ve sworn he was doing it just moments ago but you’ve gotten used to his clean freak tendencies.
Like normal, your eyes glued to his figure as he zipped around. Sweeping, wiping, watering plants, even scolding his employees for letting the place get the way it is even though it was spotless.
You hadn’t even realized the fond smile that had formed on your face until it was too late. Those sharp, gray eyes bored into your own. You practically jolted, head clocking the opposite way to avoid his stare.
Ignore me, ignore me, ignore me, you begged, close to even crossing your fingers beneath the table. But when you heard the familiar clacking of his dress shoes coming in your direction is when you knew.
“You know you can always take a picture, it would last longer.” Embarrassingly, his voice sent a quick chill up your spine. You peeled your eyes from the window beside you and locked gazes with Levi.
“I’m well aware, Mister Ackerman. Watching you clean is just fascinating, seeing as your café is practically spotless.” The last sentence was one you mused to yourself. You grabbed your teacup as Levi scoffed.
Leaning forward, he swiped a finger on a ledge beside your table and in front of the window. “See,” he pointed his finger at you, barely covered in dust. “Filthy.”
“Huh. Then I guess since it’s so dirty here I should take my business elsewhere?” You cocked an eyebrow. Hiding a smirk behind your teacup.
Levi narrowed his eyes at you for a moment. “You wouldn’t last a day. You would miss staring me down too much.” You choked on your chamomile, leaning forward in surprise.
The sight seemed to amuse Levi, a slight upturn of his lips appearing.
“I don’t stare you down!” You argued, placing your cup down.
“Oh, no?” Levi inquired, a playful hint to his usual monotonous voice. “I have eyes, brat. I know when you’re ogling, it’s obvious.”
Ready to fire back, you opened your mouth but no words came out. Just the feeling of utter embarrassment creeping up your neck. Great, spending your break getting confronted by your crush.
Levi clicked his tongue while you silently accepted defeat. “Don’t get too down on yourself,” Levi started, looking back as someone entered the shop.
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Synopsis:You’d follow him to the end of the world, you promised, only to realize how silly the words sounded with the current state of life- not to mention, you had said the same to Petra, a girl that met her fate with zombies gnawing the flesh of her thigh.
Word count: 2k
Warnings: zombies, gore, blood, minor injuries, explicit language, mentions of death
When you were twelve, you promised Petra you’d follow her to the ends of Earth, even if the world had gone to shit- you’d follow her.
Looking below you now, growling corpses walking the streets of Paradis; one of the most populated cities, it began to feel almost taunting. Had you manifested this? Of course not, you were a naive twelve year old, but it was too ironic.
Petra walked in front of you, baseball bat clutched tightly in her scar riddled hands. The wind caused strands of her golden hair to fly to the right, escaping the messy bun she had done hours ago. “Hey, wait up!” you called out, having fallen behind more than what you considered comfortable.
She came to a halt, turning as the corners of her mouth lifted, “Aren’t you afraid of heights?” Throughout the whole ordeal, Petra had never lost her smile, you admired her for it; you lost yours on the second day. “Keep up, we only have so much sun, y’know.” and off she was, continuing with her fast pace, leaping from roof to roof.
You groaned, fighting the urge to claim the cement floor beneath you and sleep, but Petra was right, she had never been wrong. “Alright, alright.”
The gaps in-between roofs were small due to the sheer amount of buildings they had stuffed together, but still big enough that one slip would leave you a soon-to-be zombie. “Be careful not to fall,” a useless warning, but it became tradition.
A few rooftops away from home, your leg lost balance, the slant of the roof propelling you forward as your hand desperately clawed the ground, tearing the end of your nails off as a terrified scream fell from your lips, “Petra!”-but it wasn’t enough as you hit the edge, legs rolling over and off the side. “Fuck,” you cursed, bloodied fingers digging into the ledge as you tried to pull yourself up.
Zombies piled below you, the scream from moments ago attracting them. Their groaning and growling added to your fear, one slip up and you’re zombie chow.
It was inconvenient, but you were able to graze your tip toes over what seemed to be an edge on the building.
The yell of your name pulled your attention back from the hoard below, you saw Petra running back to you, skillfully jumping over the openings. “Are you okay- Holy shit, your hand.” she mumbled, dropping to her knees as she hastily pulled you up, careful of causing any more damage. “Shit,” her eyes ran over your fingers, the blood made it look worse than it felt. “you okay? What happened back there?”
Her worried questions fell upon deaf ears- you’d almost died, moments after telling Petra to be careful, you almost fucking died. “How far are we?” your eyes met her wide ones. “I don’t think I messed anything up too bad, my damn fingers hurt, though.”
A strangled laugh forced its way through her as she looked behind her, a sloppy trail of blood from where your fingers tried to catch flat ground showed, “Yeah, I bet.” she held your head in her lap, fingers brushing through your dark, matted hair, looking down at you with a small smile. “Just a few more roofs away, I’d say five more minutes.”
The sun blinded you, Petra’s head doing little to block it out. It was a beautiful day, couldn’t have been less than sixty degrees.
You brought yourself to your feet with the help of Petra, blood staining the front of her pale blue shirt, you shot her an apologetic glance. That was one of the few shirts she owned.
“If I thought I was over my fear,” you started, examining your fingers: the tips had stopped bleeding, but it looked like someone had taken a cheese-grater to them. “Then I was dead wrong.”
Your pun flew over her head or she just didn’t find it funny. Either way, your laughter was cut short as you looked up.
The sky was a light orange, any other circumstance and it would have been beautiful; but with the world burning below it, you couldn’t help but curse the universe and its ability to create something so pretty at a time like this.
“Let’s get home,” she urged, the darkening sky made it harder to spot the openings between buildings and with your luck, you’d fall through. “Don’t want to have to sleep on a roof, again.”
It was meant as a joke, but the silence following showed neither of you took it as such.
Right before you found the apartments, there had been one other in your small group: Annie. The three of you felt unstoppable, spending all your nights sleeping on whatever roof gave you the best ocean view.
In the end, it seemed zombies always won, taking away the people you love with no second thought.
Thinking about her brought tears to your eyes, she was your best friend of fifteen years and you killed her, or at least what was left of her after the zombies had their taste. “Fuckin’ zombies.”
Petra agreed. It was a loss for her too, having known Annie for the better part of ten years. “Fucking zombies,” she repeated, picking her bat up from the ground.
Trailing behind, you watched stars appear in the sky, one by one. Now that there was less pollution, the stars were brighter; one of the few rewards of the Apocalypse, if you could call it such.
A full moon lit the sky, marking the completion of a cycle. Soon there will be a waxing crescent moon, one of your favorites- you can only hope you’ll live to see it with your best friend by your side.
“Last one,” Petra announced, jumping over the opening. “Your turn, be careful.“
Launching off the edge with your right leg, you landed on your left, falling straight to the cement with a hiss, hugging your knee to your chest. “Ouch.”
A few moments of you not moving later, arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you to your feet. “C’mon, wanna sleep,” Petra whined, pushing the green, metal door open.
The sound of metal against concrete was unpleasant, tonight it seemed louder than usual.
Twelve stairs ascend down from the green door, you’d memorized the number the first day in case of emergency. “I’ll help you,” an arm wrapped around your waist, allowing most of your weight to rest on them as you walked- no, limped down the stairs.
One
Two
Three
Four
Fiv-
A clunking noise sounded from the floor below, echoing up the stairs. Metal against metal you noted, nothing a zombie could make.
“Did you hear that?” Petra whispered, arm tightening around you, ready to take off and drag you to the roof at any given moment.
Your breath was caught in your throat, heart hammering against your chest.
“Maybe something fell over?” The thought did little to soothe your fears, knowing even if something had fallen, someone or something was prowling too close for comfort. “Let’s just get inside our room, lock the doors, and put a chair up against them.”
“And trap ourselves!?” she yelled in a hushed tone, brown eyes glued to what little you could see of the staircase through the barricade. “I say we roof hop, find a new place. Mayb-”
You silenced her, shaking your head as you spoke. “No, our room is right by the ladder, remember? Anything happens, we can leave- but I’m in no condition to be traveling.”
God, she hated it when you were right. “Fine, but I hear it again and we are gone. Understood?”
A compliant ‘yes’ left your lips, Petra was the unofficial leader.
Rarely had there been a disagreement between the two of you. Ever since Annie, she had taken it upon herself to keep you safe, seeing as you were the youngest at twenty. Annie being twenty-one and Petra twenty-three.
She reminded you of your mother, occasionally. The way she doted on you, checking you for injuries every time you went somewhere.
Chairs stacked against the doors, underneath the handles. Petra worked tirelessly to secure the rooms and doors, making sure no one could kick them down, convinced the noise was caused by the living.
“I swear I heard talking, the living aren’t like how they used to be,” she rambled, locking the bedroom door and placing a black, wooden chair underneath the silver handle. “They don’t have laws preventing them from killing- there isn’t a justice system for them to fear.”
The wall behind you was cold on your exposed back, the ridges in the paint poking at your skin.
Turning to Petra, you let your head fall against the wall. “Tra,” you sighed, breaking her from her nervous pacing. “Why would people clear every floor of an apartment building? Not even we did, for all we know some dead fucker knocked something over.”
“The voices- what about the voices I heard!?” Tears pooled in her dark eyes, she was having a panic attack. “You’re injured, can you even climb down the ladder- oh my god, your fingers.” Words flew from her mouth, worries spilling out like a broken faucet.
Your hand caught the back of her shirt, tugging her onto the bed. “Calm down, I can climb and run if I need to and my fingers,” you held them out, blood staining the skin around the nail. “are fine, some rubbing alcohol and a hand wash will fix ‘em up, Tra.”
Her fingers tangled in her hair, palms pressed flat against her face. Blonde fly-aways blowing forward, the open window allowing a breeze to pass through the room. “I just..” she paused, looking over to you. “I worry about you, about us.”
The quiet rustling and groaning of the zombies below became somewhat comforting over the months, it was a constant in a life of variables.
“I am twenty years old,” you giggled, attempting to lighten the mood. “Not a reckless fourteen year old. I can take care of myself, too.”
Blonde hair clouded your vision, Petra had placed her head on your shoulder, hand intertwining with your own. “I know,” she mumbled, “But after Annie..” she didn’t have to continue for you to understand: she couldn’t lose you too.
Change the subject, you thought. Focusing on Annie for too long will make you cry, the wound was still too fresh. “What do you think…y’know, started all this?” It was a frequent conversation you had, each time leading closer to an answer. “I still think biological warfare.”
Silence coated the room, hanging heavy in the air. “I feel like it was just an experiment gone wrong, like someone mixed the wrong vials or something.”
Your back slid down the wall, meeting the softness of the mattress underneath the purple sheets. “That’s so boring,” you groaned, looking up at her. “Besides, this feels intentional. Like, how do you not only ‘accidently’ make a zombie, but spread the virus too?”
The bed creaked as Petra moved down, becoming eye level with you. She watched you with her honey colored eyes, studying your face- memorizing every dimple and divot.
She placed her thumb on your cheek, caressing the skin, noting the scar underneath your eye: small and delicate, thin like a paper cut.
To the right of her thumb, there was a scar, you could feel it as it drug against your skin. If you had to guess, it was within the last seven or so months, seeing as Petra had smooth hands before the Apocalypse.
“One day, you’ll find out,” she paused, eyes closing- pulling her thumb away from your face, before continuing. “I’m sure of it. Now get some sleep, I’ll listen for new noises.”
You smiled, an act reserved for Petra alone. "Love you, try not to stay up all night” you whisper, pulling the gray, wool blanket close to your face.
“No promises,” she grins, moving closer to your body. “Love you too.”
Synopsis:You’d follow him to the end of the world, you promised, only to realize how silly the words sounded with the current state of life- not to mention, you had said the same to Petra, a girl that met her fate with zombies gnawing the flesh of her thigh.
Warnings: Eventual smut, explicit language, zombie apocalypse, minor character death, blood & gore, violence, weapons, minor & serious injuries, hurt/comfort
You were opening your own exhibit in an art gallery on the west side of town, it was for your final exam- meaning your entire class would be attending and critiquing your art.
To say you were nervous was an understatement, seeing as you had created a trail in the carpet from your constant pacing. It didn’t help that you couldn’t tie your necktie properly, creating one big knot every time you tried.
Hange was hogging your shared room, studying for their forensic science exam. The goal was to refrain from bothering them, but Hange knew how to tie those damned things.
You had no other choice than to barge in, necktie in hand, and give them the biggest puppy eyes you could muster.
They looked up from their work at the sudden intrusion, finding humor in your desperation. “Can’t tie it?” Hange asked, fly aways clouding their vision. They patted their lap, tilting their head to the side. “C’mere.”
Pausing for a brief moment, you took in their appearance: black sweatpants, your white t-shirt, and the unicorn slippers you had gifted them for christmas- “Oh..yeah, okay.” Catching on to your nervousness, Hange shot you a smile. “I tried for like 30 minutes,” you whined, handing them the necktie. “Stupid thing wouldn’t work.”
They laughed, standing up when you didn’t sit, and began tying it around your neck, “You’re so cute,” Hange cooed, fingers messing with the material. “I’ll teach you sometime, it’s pretty easy.”
A brief silence passed as they tightened it, eyes meeting yours as the material tugged you closer, “Are you nervous?” The way they said it seemed mocking, eyes narrowing as they cocked their head to the right.
The temperature felt like it rose 30 degrees, beads of sweat beginning to form on your body. “I uh- yes, I am. It’s my first ope-”
You were cut off as Hange tugged at the tie again, using it as if it were a leash. “Ah, ah, wrong answer, sweetheart.“ They smiled, wrapping the fabric around their wrist, pushing you down as you looked up at them; puppy dog eyes pleading.
The floor beneath your knees was plush, the brown carpet soft- better than the wood in the living room.
An ache between your legs grew- you hadn’t even realized how wet you were until Hange looked down at you. “My opening…it’s in less than an hour..” you trailed off, eyes glued to the rise and fall of their chest. “We can’t-”
Fingers gripped your jaw, gently tilting your head up enough to meet their eyes. “Sweetheart, 30 minutes is all I need.” their fingers fell, but you remained looking up; pleading. “Don’t look at me like that, I need to hear you say it,” they muttered, brushing the hair out of your eyes. “Speak, puppy.”
You huffed out a quiet ‘arf’, making Hange giggle. “Not like that, puppy. Use your words: yes or no.”
“Yes, please Hang-” you were cut off, the force of them tugging you from your knees leaving you breathless.
They attached their lips to yours hungrily, teeth clacking together from the sheer force.
Hange set at a brutal pace, their fingers dancing along your sides: one hand sliding up your shirt, the cold of it causing a shiver to run through you.
“What a good girl,” they whispered in between kisses, unclasping your bra. “Deserve a treat, don’t you?”
The most you could do was helplessly nod as they teased your nipples, tugging and pinching them between their cold fingers.
“Hange,” you moaned, tangling your hand in their hair as the other gripped the desk behind you. “Don’t- don’t stop,” breathless as your arousal grew.
Breaking the kiss, Hange began to trail open-mouth kisses along your neck, careful not to leave a hickey or mark; their other hand slid down your side, gripping your thigh hard enough to bruise. “Get on the desk,” they commanded, pushing you back when you took too long.
Everything was rushed- normally you’d still be making out, but Hange was desperate and you only had 20 more minutes- they didn’t have a moment to spare.
Hastily, they unbuttoned your pants, tossing them to the side as they pulled your plain pink panties to your ankles. “Nice underwear,” Hange commented, kissing your thighs. you felt a rush of embarrassment run through you; face growing redder.
"Shut up,” you whined, head falling to the side. A wooden picture frame sat on the desk, behind the glass was a photo of you and Hange when you went to France. “mangez-moi déjà,” the words sparked a hunger within Hange as they bore into you.
Spreading your legs further, they removed the underwear off of you completely: 10 more minutes. “Did I tell you to speak, puppy?” they slipped two fingers in, head tilting as they watched the way your greedy cunt sucked them in. “More?”
They littered your thigh in love bites, lips brushing against your clit while they continued teasing you.
Your eager moans gave the confirmation they needed, slipping another finger in. “Such a good puppy for me, hm?” Hange pulled themselves closer, replacing their fingers with their tongue. Flat against your folds, they began lapping up your wetness- similar to a thirsty dog.
Hange’s hair was knotted around your fingers, causing slight pain everytime you tugged, but it only egged them on.
They delivered a long lick from the bottom of your vulva to the clit, latching on; creating a small O shape with their lips around the clit as they began sucking and kitten licking.
“Oh my god- Hange, i”m cl-” three fingers slipped inside, curling against your g-spot. Five minutes was all they had to make you cum. “Fu- holy shit,” you moaned, legs clamping around their head as they continued sucking.
The mix of their fingers plunging in and out of you, the vortex they’ve created around your clit- you’re coming undone in seconds, paralyzed as pleasure racks through you.
Your mouth is wide open as your head hangs off the desk, a series of whimpers and whines leaving you as your eyes roll back.
Two minutes left, the time it takes you to recover.
Your hair is a mess, makeup smudged and face red. Creases litter your once pristine, white shirt and you smell of sex, but there is no time to clean up as you throw your pants on; legs wobbly, Hange has to help you.
Hange is proud of the mess they made out of you, desk and face covered in your juices as they kiss you goodbye.
“Good luck on your presentation, puppy.” a wink follows their comment, watching with adoration as you rush out of the house.
Dead, everyone. Nearly your entire squad- minus a few lucky souls, could you even call it luck?
It wasn’t supposed to end like this, but the titans had come out of nowhere. You could still hear your squadmates scream- the people you practically grew up, the ones you spent every waking minute training with, gone.
And Lora, god, you couldn’t even think her name without tears slipping. She was almost out, so close to her horse when she was plucked like a lily from a dead garden, screaming and crying for help- your help. If you had been five seconds earlier, she would be here mourning with you.
It took Jean dragging you away, wrapping his limbs around your flailing ones, to get you away from the titans.
You’d kill them all, you promised him, even if it was the last thing you did.
In the end, you got what you came for: a live titan, something Hange wanted so they could study their behaviors- hopefully learn something important.
It was late when a knock on your door startled you, giving you just enough time to hastily wipe your tears as the door creaked open, “(y/n)…”
You didn’t bother to look up from the wall, a simple nod gave them all the confirmation they needed to walk in and sit beside you.
It was Hange, you could tell the minute their hand hit against the wood of the door. You could tell them from sound alone; they had a unique way of doing things.
“When..“ they paused, clearing their throat in a futile attempt to hide the anguish in their voice. "when I heard about what happened, I begged whatever god there may be that you were alive.”
Silence bloomed between the two of you, the faint sounds of rain hitting angrily against the window serving as background noise.
You wished the world would swallow you; the endless void of a titans mouth didn’t seem so bad.
“I was so scared I sent you on a suicide mission,” Hange admitted, hands tangled in their hair. “This wasn’t supposed to be the result- Armin’s plan seemed so perfect.”
And it had, that was the worst part. Armin’s plan seemed foolproof: get in it and get out with little to no casualties. He was so confident, would he ever recover from a tragedy like this?
They rambled on, a habit they developed when nervous or in this case, scared.“-and when I heard about Lora..” Hange’s eyes glossed over, tears threatening to spill for the millionth time. “Is an apology even enough?”
Time passed as their words filtered through your mind, taking much longer to form an adequate response. It was too easy to say the wrong thing, now was not the time for wrong things.
“My name,” you finally spoke, voice horse. “My name was the one she was screaming as it’s teeth tore into her flesh.”
Hange couldn’t control it, tears forcefully spilled out, knowing Lora had met her end with a titan on the mission they sent her on. "This is all my fault.”
Your eyes were dull, red and sore from the endless crying, a far away look within them as you stared blankly at the wall. “Everyone, nearly my entire squad is gone,“ their screams would haunt your nightmares. "how do I heal from this?”
Turning to Hange, seeing their face- you knew you wouldn’t. You could build a new squad, erase the memory with alcohol, but a piece of your heart will remain on that battlefield.
Hange knew your pain; they had been in your shoes twice before. “You learn to grow around the grief,” they spoke, gentle and affirming. “And I know it’s not enough, but I’m here.” Their left arm wrapped around you, setting their head on top of yours.
The storm had calmed significantly, the rain hitting the window allowed a calm pitter patter to envelop the room.
Lora’s bed sat across from you, unmade and messy. She had never been good at keeping her side of the room clean.
“It sucks,” you mumbled, a quiet laugh following. Using the back of your hand, you tried to wipe the tears- though it was useless as they kept falling. “Because I want to hate you, to put the blame on you and Armin.”
The tips of your fingers brushed against their hand as you met eyes, part of you still fought to do just that- but you knew better. “But I know it wasn’t you or Armin, it was those stupid fucking titans that took my bestfriend.”
The words clawed their way out of your throat before you had time to think, but a weight came off your shoulders. “I love you, Hange. I just need time.”
↪ content; canon universe, description of violence, season 4, reincarnation!au, heavy angst
Was it three? Four? Jean didn’t really count how many years had passed since the last time he saw you. It was the happiest day of his life when he finally married the woman of his dreams, the first love from his previous lifetime, and his forever more in this one, too. How romantic. To love the same person over and over again.
The venue was decorated so prettily, and he wanted to thank you along with his wife for creating such a blast. You were the best wedding organiser out there, at least to him, you were. Ever since he bumped into you inside the antique bookshops, spending about five years with you as a dear friend, he knew he could count on you.
So imagine his surprise when there was only your assistant idling around by the end of the day. With a folder in her hand and a notebook with your handwritten tucked inside. Something for him. Just him, not the others, and of course not for Mikasa.
He needed time to understand the reason. Reading page by page for a bazillion of times since he was afraid he missed some information. He hoped you hinted where you would go or what you were going to do in between the lines as his heart skipped a beat faster. Thinking that maybe you tried to say something.
But even after he read it every day before he fell asleep, Jean learned nothing from it except a little fairy tale that was now engraved in his brain.
There was a little girl. So naïve — not knowing what kind of danger lingered outside the wall.
Walls. Titans. Such a bizarre story you had written there. About survival, friendship, different beliefs and so many more condensed into your notebook. There were some sentences he felt so familiar with, especially when the girl interacted with her best friend. Some promises, the banter and how they teased each other.
Jean had a smile plastered on his face every time he read it, as if he was reminiscing some old memories. One that he could never forget with how precious it was to him.
One that he eventually did without him being aware of it.
“I am ready now.” Turning around, he couldn’t help but wolf-whistle when he saw how gorgeous his wife was. “Do I look good?” She twirled around, raven hair floating in the air as she showed off her emerald body-con dress, hugging her body so perfectly.
“Babe, all men would be jealous of me to have you in my arms.” He let out a small chuckle and pressed a deep kiss on her lips, leaving a wet smack sound when he pulled away. “Let’s go then. I am betting the others are waiting.”
Mikasa Ackerman, now Mikasa Kirstein. The smugness on his face every time he remembered how his friend gawked at him never faltered. Even after years went by, he was still proud of having such a pretty lady to be called as his wife. The days that went by felt like he was newly wed all over again since she never once changed.
Something that made him want to wake up every morning, knowing how perfect his life was. Yes, perfect. But not complete, never complete.
Jean didn’t know what else he needed. He had a wife that loved him so, a stable job in such a prestigious law firm, and an adorable dog that had become their kid for the last couple of years. Marco once told him that maybe he wanted a baby, but even when he knew Mikasa could not bear children, he didn’t feel disappointed at all.
That was what made him decide to travel around the world in his free time. Taking his wife with him as they went on a random journey every time. He tried to find the meaning of life, what could have possibly made him whole. Some said he needed to be grateful. He did, he always did, with what the world had bestowed upon him.
Yet, after a few years went by, and he still had that gap in his days, he ended up taking it as some kind of redemption, perhaps an atonement over his sin in the past life.
“Goodness, is that Sasha?” Mikasa pointed at someone who was now standing in front of the restaurant with her husband, Niccolo, right beside her. “She smuggled something inside her bag. She never changed, Jean.” A small giggle slipped from her lips, followed by a deep chuckle from him as he parked the car.
A reunion. Just a small one in between him, Connie, Sasha, and Marco. The golden quartet, you once said. And the four of them thought it had become a quintet ever since he brought you into his house and introduced you to them. But now, it was back to just them, never once changed as no one actually fitted in as easily as you.
Taking a deep breath, he felt a shiver down his spine the second he was out of his car. Winter was never kind to those who went out, they knew that, but it wouldn’t be them if they were not being stubborn. After all, three years had passed ever since Marco moved to New Zealand, and since he was coming back, they had to celebrate.
The second he went inside the restaurant with his wife, a loud cheer from Connie and Sasha resonated throughout the place, making some pairs of eyes turn to face him. Mikasa could only chuckle at that, always loving the warm atmosphere every time the two rascals were around before she pushed Jean to get them.
He didn’t waste a time and just ruffled his best friends, feeling so light as he felt like this was the only moment he felt almost complete. When their friends surrounded him, tears pricked the corner of their eyes from too much laughing, making fun of each other to no end to the point they were embarrassing each other.
And for a split second, he thought about how everything could be much better if you were still around. If only you were not gone without a trace.
“Starting the reunion without me?” A smooth, angelic tone that belonged to the only sane person in the group stopped them from killing each other. “I thought we were here to celebrate my return. Guess not, huh?”
“Oh, come here Mr Bodt!”
The husband and wives of the quartet knew it was time for them to enjoy their time, giving their loved ones some moment to reminisce about life. Three years wasn’t short for Jean, Marco, Connie and Sasha, who used to spend their time together for probably the first fifteen years of their life since elementary school.
Jean felt like the night was perfect. The fact that one of his best friends returned to Paradis was also a plus. Knowing they could hang out like they used to, having back the routine he once lost, maybe after this, he would feel complete.
And oh, he felt exactly that. He felt in every fibre of his being the second Marco leaned away and cleared his throat to reveal someone else that went with him to the reunion, someone that Jean thought would never see again.
There was you, in all your glory. With the same smile he remembered the last time he saw your face. He couldn’t move his body, lips slightly parted as he thought his eyes deceived him. You were here. You were coming back to them, to his life.
He wasn’t able to grasp whatever Marco said as the ravenette patted your shoulders. His pupil followed you around, looking at how you kissed Sasha’s cheeks and tried to calm her down since she was crying by now. Connie just had his jaw dropped to the ground, saying no way! repeatedly underneath his breath as it grew louder and louder.
You fitted back in so easily. Just like that. Here again as if you never left in the first place. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, so many things he wondered. Jean felt happy, fuming, hurt, all at the same time because he longed to see you, to have you in his life. He had lost you once before. He didn’t want to lose you again.
“Hello, Jean.” You waved your hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his reverie. “How are you? I saw Mikasa before. She’s as pretty as ever! Bet you have been treating her right with how much she glows.”
“Oh, you know me.” Of course you did. He didn’t need to explain or say much since you were the one who knew him best, after all. “I always treat those I love with everything I can give to them, anyway.”
The missing piece of the puzzle appeared out of nowhere. Slipping back into his life and making his time searching for it came to waste. It was you. Always did from the first moment he tugged your wrist. The person who was so important that he felt like he had lost something when you were gone without a trace.
You kept your hands on your lap as you sat beside him, with Marco on the other side as he asked what you wanted to order. Jean couldn’t help himself but pointed at some dishes on the menu, things that he felt so sure you liked. If those four years you went missing didn’t change you, you would pick one of his recommendations.
And the night rolled on without a hitch. No one thought it was weird to see another lady in between the rowdy quartet. Yes, you always belonged there. Not even one spouse thought you weren’t supposed to be among them.
Sometimes Connie and Sasha would ask what you had been doing. After all, even though you could click right in with them so easily, they were still curious about what happened in the vast gap of years they missed you. Whether you were happy, whether you missed them too, whether you found someone —
And when you smiled and glanced in hisdirection. The two immediately kept their lips curled into a soft smile.
They didn’t need to ask more. They understood without you needing to elaborate with words. But Jean? He did. He needed to hear you spell it out for him.
However, when stupid banter and over the top jokes replaced the somewhat serene atmosphere from before, he stopped himself. Maybe he could ask you later when the two of you were alone. You were always more open around him, and he hoped a few years apart didn’t change that part.
It was almost ten, and they were the only crowd who stayed in this restaurant. The only customer left. Marco felt like it was time for them to end the night, much to everyone’s dismay, since tomorrow was Monday anyway.
They had to get enough sleep so they wouldn’t get hazy in the morning for work. At the reminder of that, the rest of the group could only groan and nodded, dispersing to get fresh air since there was some alcohol flowing in their blood.
Jean thanked Mikasa for accompanying him, smiling all the way to his ears when she gave him a kiss and told him she would be the one who drove. It was really nice indeed, a surprising night since he didn’t expect you to be here again, to appear with his best friend and grace him with your presence that was long gone.
Walking towards the balcony, he lit his cigarette to clear his mind. And lady luck seemed to be on his side tonight the moment he saw you leaned in at the railing with a glass of water in your hand.
“I thought you were going home.”
“Hm? Not yet, Jean.”
He leaned his back on the railing, puffing out some greyish smoke into the air. Five feet apart, because he knew you disliked the smell of the burned cigarette.
You didn’t even turn to face him. Not a gesture of surprise could be seen as he stepped inside your space. He wondered what you were thinking, and most importantly, he wanted to know why you came back after all those years.
“I read your notebook every day.” But if he wanted you to tell him everything. He needed to play his card right. “Before I sleep. Every day, ever since I received it.”
Jean didn’t let you question his commitment. Clarifying what he had done for the last four years. He wanted you to know how much your existence meant to him, and how the past years without you there had been consuming him little by little. Even though you were just his best friend, he cherished you as much as he did for his wife.
“I see.” He glanced at you, wanting to see your reaction. You only twirled the mineral water around, not even an ounce of emotion changed your neutral visage. “What do you think, then?”
“It was heartbreaking.”
“Of course. It’s not really about rainbow and—”
“But also nostalgic, in a way.”
Your pupils dilated at his words. There, the exact emotion that he couldn’t fathom. You stopped responding; you stopped whatever words you wanted to say and merely — existed. Hell, sometimes he thought you didn’t even breathe when you were like this. “I wanted to ask you something. No, a lot of things, actually.”
As he took a step closer towards you, it almost made him falter when he saw the way you leaned away. Four years have changed you. He was aware of that. But he still needed you to clarify something, if that was possible. He just needed to know why. He wanted to know what he did wrong for you to leave him in the dust.
Not just him. Connie and Sasha would often ask where you were, and if everything was alright while Marco comforted them. The three of them would be crazy thinking about your whereabouts if only the ravenette didn’t calm them down.
“It’s late, Jean.” You took a deep breath, shutting your eyes for a second there before it laid upon him. “We can talk tomorrow. I am going to move here again so we can catch up anytime we want.” That smile on your face. He frowned when he realised it didn’t reach your eyes. “After all, your wife waited for you, right?”
It felt like he had been in this place before. In the same situation where he was so close to knowing, to learn about something between you and him, and yet it always dispersed into nothing as you assured him he shouldn’t be worried about it.
As if you didn’t want him to know. As if you tried to hinder him from finding out the truth.
“Why did you always push me away…?”
He sounded so broken when he threw the question, and you gaped at how vulnerable the intonation that lingered there. “Do you know something? Have you seen any memories from the past? Is it that badwith me?”
“Jean, no. I—” You wanted to calm him down. Your palm was hovering right in front of his chest, but you stopped yourself. It looked like you were scared to touch him. “I can’t. Please know that I can’t talk about this. There’s a reason and maybe one day you could understand. But I hope you didn’t. I really hope you neverdid.”
“So you actually see the past.” He snorted in disbelief. All those times he tried to tell you about the awakened memories. All those years, he thought you were clueless and just another normal human being. It was a lie. “Then you know? On my wedding day, I was so close to see it through but you didn’t let me, you — you lied to me!”
“Jean!”
“And why is that, huh? Am I turned out to be such a despicable person? Is that the reason you moved away, telling no one about it?!”
“No! You don’t understand! The past few years also tortured me! But I did it because I must evade you, Jean. I did it for you—”
“Everything’s okay?”
The two heads whipped towards the source of the voice. Marco raised one of his eyebrows before scrunching his forehead since he would never have thought to see you and Jean having a heated argument. “It’s late. I think both of you drank too much liquor. If there’s something you both need to talk about, I suggest tomorrow.”
He strode right beside you, standing so close, as if he tried to shield you from Jean. The taller man could only look down at his best friend with disbelief before grumbling a bit underneath his breath.
A ravenette, always a ravenette. The one who blocked him from unravelling his own memory was Mikasa back then, and now it was Marco.
“Fine, then.”
“Good. I am sure Mikasa is waiting for you, too.”
Marco smiled at him, and the tension Jean felt slowly lifted off his shoulder. His best friend was right, he had to go back since Mikasa had been so kind to wait for him. What a perfect woman indeed, and he gave a small nod towards the freckled man.
From your words, you were really going to stay here again. So if by chance he could grab a coffee with you, he would continue this conversation then. Completely sober because he didn’t want to mess things up. “We will see you later, Jean. Goodnight.”
“Yeah, pal. Good—”
“You know, Jean?” He was barely done replenishing the gas for his manoeuvring gear when Marco sat beside him. “I think you are not really in love with Mikasa.”
“What?” Jean stopped what he did. All the shouts of excitement from another cadet were muted as he could only hear his best friend’s voice. Marco had the audacity to have a smirk on his face, not facing him still as he fixed his boots. “Oi, how come you say that?”
“Because it’s the truth. You actually put your heart in your sleeve, Jean.”
Jean immediately stood from where he sat, forcing the freckled boy to look at him because of his abrupt movement. He didn’t know where the ravenette got that idea from. And surely he didn’t expect him to say it now when they were going to climb back on top of the wall after retaking the headquarters. Couldn’t he wait to discuss this? Something as — important as his heart?
“No, I am not.” He jutted his lips out, something that only elicited a chuckle from his best friend. Something that made Jean scowl even more now. “I adore her entire existence, Marco. She is the prettiest woman out there. So brave and the greatest soldier in our ranks. Shit, even when all she could think of was Eren, I still want her!”
“Are you really?” Those light brown orbs fixated on someone behind him, one that he immediately followed since he wanted to know what Marco had been trying to say to him.
Sasha slumped herself towards you, practically crying and wailed some gratitude on your chest. You were not even trying to get her off you, understanding how shocked she would have been since a titan almost got her. If you were not there to kill the one she was assigned to before, maybe Sasha wouldn’t even be here right now.
You and your gentle nature, so nurturing to those around but at the same time could be such a clown around them. Jean only let out a small chuckle at the sight of the two girls, and when you realised he had been looking at you, he could feel his cheeks heated.
But he didn’t look away, not feeling embarrassed that you caught him, not at all.
“I couldn’t really hide things from you, huh, Marco?” He whispered out underneath his breath, just enough for the ravenette to hear him. “Since when did you know about it?”
“Since the first day, maybe.” Turning around, he faced Marco once again, who was now down with the preparation. “You always talked about her, telling me about her stupid antics. And of course, that soft smile on your face, Jean.”
“Yeah, can’t help it when she always makes me feel like I am…” He chuckled. The smile reached his eyes in the middle of this hellish time from just the thought of you. “…whole.”
Jean didn’t want anyone to know, actually. About how he was secretly in love with his best friend, someone who knew him like the back of their hand. He once asked Connie to nudge the idea of him liking you, but the bald boy said you only fake gagged and walked away, a sign that Jean took for him to take a step back.
The world only needed to know that Mikasa Ackerman rejected him. One person was enough. He didn’t need them to know you also did.
“Why do you hide it away, though?”
“Oh, come on, Marco.” His chuckle now turned bitter. “I am not risking what I already have with her.”
Jean swallowed an enormous lump before turning around, beckoning his best friend to follow suit, as he didn’t want to talk about this anymore. With Mikasa, it was fine because they started as strangers. But with you? He clicked with your mind and taste in joke, practically chose you as his ally since day one he saw you tamed Sasha.
He didn’t want to throw the dice, wondering if maybe he could have more with you. So he decided to just love Mikasa, continuing his admiration while still keeping you close.
Because he was aware, he wouldn’t feel complete without you in his life.
Jean sucked a deep breath, not believing himself or what he just saw. Everything, everything. It felt like time stopped as all the memories from his past life came into him. Not just a glimpse, not just a spark or anything he had seen before when he was with Mikasa or anyone else he met before.
It was just a playful pat from Marco on his shoulder, but he swore it made his legs wobble for a second there as if the freckled man tried to push him off the balcony. He couldn’t breathe, not knowing where the oxygen in his lungs went with these memories came to him like a hurdle of waves, trying to drown him out.
He wanted to reach out towards you and the ravenette who was already walking away. Marco had his left hand intertwined with yours, practically pulling you away from him and it just — it wasn’t fair and it hurt.
“Hey.”
Jean called out to you, feeling so relieved when you stopped walking and took another look at him. Right now, there was only you in his eyes. You, the one who knew him best, maybe the same or even more than the man who stood behind you.
There were so many things he wanted to say. So many words that were left unsaid after the whirlpool of emotion came crashing down at him. And when you pursed your lips, when he saw tears glossed your eyes despite you tried to keep it at bay, he had a feeling that you knew.
Oh, you knew that he knew.
The promises. What he had said before in the life where the two of you were reckless soldiers, everything went up to the surface after being buried by nature.
So this was the reason you always had some kind of subtle reaction when he talked about Mikasa. This was the reason you ended up moving to another place without telling him, the thing that pushed you to go away and settled your heart somewhere else.
Because you realise the promises had been broken the second he said I do, four years ago, in front of Mikasa Ackerman.
“I promise, I promise I will find you one day.”
He did. He found you here in this lifetime. A place without titan, without the two of you having to be afraid that every moment would be the last.
“We will be happy by then.”
However, it was nothing like the one he had in mine. Not the one youhad been waiting for. The two of you didn’t meet and fall in love, not married to one another and have kids or anything you were supposed to tell him. The house he bought in previous lifetime and this one — it wasn’t for you. Not for you to take a shelter in with him.
He could have that. If only in this life too,he was willing to gamble his friendship with you. Maybe you were the one who had his last name instead of the woman who now waited for him in the driver’s seat.
But the two of you were aware that maybe, no matter what kind of world he resided in, this was how it would end with you.
“Y-Yes, Jean?”
With him to live and fall in love with someone else, and you to stay in his life as nothing more but a dearest friend.
↪ content; canon universe, description of violence, season 4, reincarnation!au, heavy angst
“Will you marry me?”
You stopped putting up the blade on the scabbard when you heard the question from behind you. At this messed up moment, you never expected someone to make such a crucial proposition, not when in a few minutes from now you were ready to board the flying boat, ready to put your life on the line to save the world.
The question echoed at the back of your mind, and you were still debating whether it was a good thing to turn around and acknowledge the marriage proposal you received or just shrugged it off. You were not in a situation to think about something as petty as love, not when one of you probably couldn’t make it out alive from this cruel war.
If the two of you were strolling around Trost like what you used to, you would not hesitate to face him. You could imagine yourself with your eyes shining under the bright sunlight, asking what he meant whether he was being serious or just wanted to tease you. And you knew, you would know the answer to his question.
“Don’t joke around at a time like this, Jean.”
But the circumstance you were in right now did not help you to let out the word that you wanted to say. There was no time to be a lovesick woman, there was no time to think about a future that was out of your reach. The thing that you needed to be focused on was for you to give everything you had to fight the founding titan.
You really hoped that he would drop the question and just let you go, because you knew your heart too well, and saying no to him was something that had been a struggle for you ever since the two of you were just stupid brats in the Cadet Corps.
“You know I will never joke about something as important as this.”
No air could fill your lungs at this point, and you felt your legs wobble slightly from the earnest tone that he used. “Hey, just listen to me, okay? Turn around, face me at least if you want to say no. Rejection is something that I have been through my whole life anyway.”
That was it. That was probably the reason you didn’t want to face him. You knew. You were there. Your eyes caught everything for the past years ever since you knew him, and you swore from the bottom of your heart that you would do anything if only he could look at you like how he saw the beautiful, multi-talented ravenette that now was chatting with Armin.
He was not serious with the question, probably he was, but he would never be serious when it came to his own feelings. Him loving you? That was probably the stupidest, deceitful, delusional thing that ever crossed your mind. And you knew the reason why he threw that question at you instead of her.
Because as for now, she only had eyes on someone else, the same person that was trying to commit worldwide genocide, excluding Paradis, the same person that everyone was trying to take down with their blades and guns.
“Why do you want to marry me in the first place, Jean?” You tried as hard as you could not to let your voice waver, still not facing him as you didn’t want to show how pitiful you looked right now. “You would never want to marry me. We fight now and then, we bicker all the time—”
“Because you are the one who knows me best, that’s why.” He cut you off, perhaps still blinded by his own selfishness at this point. You should have known that he would never drop this off so easily, and you could only grit your teeth, not wanting to lash out. “You know me so well, no one else could understand me as much as you do. So please, I-I will love you—”
“Can you even promise that you are going to love me?” You swallowed a huge lump, waiting for his response to such a simple question. Something that never came for the next few seconds. “See, Jean?” Then you turned around, locking your gaze with his as you saw how his pupils widened, probably because he finally saw the tears that streamed down your face. “You couldn’t even promise that you are going to love me back.”
You felt so dumb right now, hands shaking from the feelings that you always buried deep inside your heart. All these years, you always knew your place, you knew you could never be as perfect as the woman that he loved. Yet he just needed to bring it up, to ask something that you wanted nothing but to answer with an excited yes.
If only you didn’t know, if only you could blind yourself from the truth — you would have run to him right now, wrapping your arms around his neck and smashing your lips against his. Something that consistently appeared in your mind with how much you wanted to know how he tasted.
But that was the thing you could never do. You watched on the sideline for the seven years you had known him, knowing how in love he was. Everything was imprinted in your mind, so you knew you could never act like you didn’t notice that he would be ready to give his own life just to save her.
He was standing still from his place, lips parted even though there were no words that rolled down his tongue. You couldn’t blame him, even though he could be such a selfish jerk sometimes, he was someone that would never want to hurt his comrades. Especially not to someone like you who was always there for him through thick and thin.
There were a few pairs of eyes that turned to look at you two, possibly debating if they should intervene or just let everything happen as it was. You knew they were probably only getting worried that there would be a huge fight that could lead to nothing but regret in later days, even so, you didn’t like the non-existent privacy that you had then.
Inhaling the air through your nose, making the salty scent of the ocean tickle your nostrils, you decided to be the one who just let it go. It didn’t matter anyway, no matter how many things you wanted to tell him, there was no alternative future where Jean Kirstein was in love with you.
Therefore, with a heavy heart, you walked past him, leaving him to contemplate alone about his own feelings. He didn’t call out to you, not trying to stop you from walking away, so you knew that he probably understood by now that asking you to marry him was the biggest mistake he ever made in his life.
Although you wished, you really wished in your wildest dream that perhaps someday, you could hear him ask the exact same question to you.
Using an intonation filled with certainty, with his whole heart loving every part of your being.
Your fingertips trailing the white silk napery that was draped neatly on top of a round, wooden table. A smile etched on your face since you knew today would be perfect. Everything was in place, and you couldn’t feel better knowing that the weather was excellent at the moment.
White dress wrapped around your figure, and you felt so beautiful and confident wearing it. Leaving the table where the tall wedding cake was placed before, you sauntered through the venue to greet each guest that you met along the way, with the same smile that never wavered as they congratulated you for today.
You didn’t realise how a pair of molten copper eyes looking at you with pride glinting inside his orbs, praising you internally as he felt so blessed that you were here. From the very first start he met you, he knew there was something about your existence that made him want nothing but to keep you in his life.
He recalled how he bumped into you a few years back in a bookstore, and even though you were ready to slip away from him after muttering a small apology, he couldn’t help himself but grip your wrist, telling you to wait.
And despite the embarrassment that took him from gripping a stranger’s wrist, he thanked himself for not letting you go that easily.
Because now, you had become such an important person in his life, someone that he would always cherish no matter what.
“Is everything ready?”
You flinched when you felt someone’s breath on your ear, making you yelp since you were just done greeting another guest that asked you where to sit.
“Jean!” Turning your head to face him, you whispered-shout at his face before punching his chest lightly, an action that elicited a low chuckle coming from his lips. “What are you doing here? Goodness! The groom shouldn’t wander around the venue like this, you know?”
Your pout always looked so adorable, and that was one of the reasons why he always loved to tease you. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t have a single day pass without trying to mess with your head. And despite how annoying he could be, you always stayed and gave him your attention.
“You are not supposed to be here either.” He gently flicked your chin, and he let out another chuckle when you hissed from his action.
“Fuck it, Jean. At this point, I ask myself what the meaning of my existence in your life actually is.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes in a mocking tone as you folded your arms in front of your chest. “You always tease me! Why do you even want me here in the first place? I would end up to be—”
“Because you are the one who knows me best, that’s why.”
He swore he could see your pupils dilated slightly from his words, and it made him stop laughing at you, since he saw that emotion inside your eyes all over again. You were always like this sometimes, to suddenly stop talking, stop responding to anything for a few seconds as if your whole life was fleeting through your mind.
But then it was back to normal, and the emotionless facade that you had before now slowly filled with another expression.
“Is that supposed to be a compliment, Jean Kirstein?”
Though somehow, he could sense something from the way you called his name just now. Something that he didn’t know what it was, but it made him scared and oddly nostalgic at the same time.
“Well, it's—”
“Jean! It’s the time!”
A gentle, familiar voice called out to him. And the atmosphere that was built nicely around the two of you suddenly vanished into the thin air. Both of you turned to the source of the voice, finding the beautiful ravenette woman waving in your direction. “Connie is waiting for you in the dressing room!”
“I’ll be there soon, love!”
He waved back, though he didn’t move his feet even until the woman walked away from the scene. Today was his wedding day, and he was supposed to be so thrilled and felt all of the excitement in his heart. In a few minutes from now, the love of his life, his first love and dream girl would be his wife, but at the moment, he didn’t want to leave you alone just yet.
“So, where are—”
“Nevermind, Jean. She called.” You took a few steps backwards, giving him and you a proper gap. But his face never left you as somehow he felt something that rooted him to his place. “Jean, your bride called.” Snapping two fingers in front of his face, he finally could regain himself, and a small nervous chuckle slipped from his lips when he realised that he was daydreaming before.
“Yeah, yeah. My bride, yes.” He cleared his throat, averting your gaze completely since somehow he could not take a look at you. When you saw this, you raised one of your eyebrows, wondering why he stayed here when his bride already called him to prepare himself and wear the wedding suit.
“Don’t tell me you had wedding jitters, Jean.”
“H-Huh? Why would I? Mikasa is perfect, and—”
“And you were always meant to be with her, I know.” You chuckled a little, though it didn’t sound as sincere as usual, but he shrugged it off. “You always told me about it, that you have met her before, perhaps in your previous life, right?” He nodded at that, letting out a long sigh as he swept his hair to the back. “So what’s on your mind? Why are you still standing here with me? You are so close to marrying her again, Jean.”
“I promise, I promise I will find you one day.”
A flicker of memory appeared out of nowhere, something that usually happened only when his fiancée was around. But these days as you helped him plan his wedding day and became his wedding organiser, another part of an unknown memory appeared in his mind, little by little without any concrete context.
And it stressed him out more than anything, because he was afraid that he took a wrong path, or not knowing something that he should have remembered.
“I-I just feel like I have a promise to someone else, I guess.” He swallowed a huge lump, averting his gaze to the side, making him miss the way your eyes watered slightly. “And that someone else, that someone else is you! But I can’t remember what it was, I don’t know—”
“Jean.” You stopped him, resting your palm on his chest as you didn’t want to hear anything else from him. His copper eyes went back towards your face with pupils dilated slightly, wanting to calm himself down. “You don’t have to think about it.” But he didn’t need to try, not with you gazing at him with such tenderness and care that gave him contentment already.
Panting a little, he bit his upper lip since he was still stressed. He really wanted to know what it was, the promise that he made with you and why he said such a thing. There were no other sentences, he could only hear himself saying that to you in his past life, but he didn’t know the reason behind it, making him so anxious.
Though now, you were standing tall before him with a look that he couldn’t quite fathom despite how comforting it was to him. “You know I never remember anything from my past, Jean. Perhaps you promised something because we are friends, whatever it was though, it doesn’t matter.” He didn’t know anymore if you were trying to reassure him or yourself, but he listened to your words and took it all in. “It was nothing, okay? What matters is here, now. In this life where you love her again.”
His fingers gently wrapped around your wrist, subconsciously caressing it as he processed your words. He was a little bit of a hypocrite when he realised that. No matter how many times he didn’t want to get so hung up over the same woman that he loved in his past life, he ended up to be a hopeless romantic, thinking how beautiful it was to recreate something that happened once.
“Yeah, you are right.” He chuckled to let out the awkwardness that he felt before ruffling your hair a little. “You are always right. I am glad you are here in my life.”
Your smile only widened at that, and you couldn’t help but lean in and pressed a platonic kiss on his cheek. You didn’t realise how his body went frozen in place for a moment there, but as you pulled away, he already fixed himself and just gave you a cheeky smile, as if to tease him.
“Now go, go dress yourself to the nines.” You patted his chest one more time before pushing him forward. “Go! You are going to be the happiest man alive!” And he ambled away. Even though a bit unsteady, he kept on going, now with a more stable emotion.
For sure, there was nothing else that he should be worried about. You were here, you would always be here for him, the best friend that never left his side, just like Connie, Marco and Sasha. And he knew you were always right. Anything that happened in his past life didn’t matter.
What mattered was what happened here, now, and that was for him to be the husband of someone he had been in love with for the past few years.
You could only watch his back as he ran to a secured future that he always dreamed of. Standing there alone, you waited until he was gone from your sight, wanting to be there in case he would look back and needing some assurance.
But the second he was gone inside the building, you immediately darted towards the nearest bathroom.
There were a lot of things that happened in your mind right now; you wanted to throw up from the nausea that you felt, you wanted to cry from the lie you had committed to ever since you met him, you wanted to just move to another state and forget that you had a life here.
Although you knew it was not possible, not when your days had been filled with his existence, and even though you would always be the best friend in whatever life you had — you knew you could never erase himself completely.
Locking the bathroom’s door, you immediately collapsed on the seat that was placed in the middle of the room, wanting to calm down as you finally felt your heart break into a million little pieces. After years swallowing down the truth, after years you hid what you knew, the dam broke freely with no one there to fix it.
“Shit! Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me too.” You couldn’t feel anything as your body felt so numb, eyes looking up to the skies that were so clear you couldn’t see any clouds on it. “Hey, hey, look at me.” But then someone tilted your head so you could face him, and you were met with the familiar copper orbs that you always loved to stare at.
It was Jean, your best friend ever since the two of you were in the Cadet Corps. You despised his cocky attitude at first, not liking how he was so hostile toward others. Yet as time went by and you started to get to know him better, he was actually a lot more human than any other person you ever met.
You could feel his finger tucking the strands of hair behind your ear, as if wanting to see you more clearly. At first you were so lost, you didn’t know what happened right now and you wanted nothing but to ask him. But as you felt the excruciating pain at your abdomen, everything replayed at the back of your head.
One of the titan ancestors bit you, hard, and you were pretty sure you would have fallen by now, perhaps crushed underneath the colossal titans who’s currently splat everything in their way. Instead, you were here now in the arms of the man that you loved so much, and you parted your lips, wanting to tell him the words that you wanted to say.
You wanted to do it all. You wanted to scream at him that you have always been in love with him, you wanted to pull his collars and smash your lips with his, you wanted to stay alive and see the world with him and the others.
“Y-Yes.”
But from all the things that you wanted to do, you could only utter that one word, and you hoped he understood the meaning behind it. However, from how his irises widened after that, you were certain that he knew. Tears welled up in his eyes, and for once he didn’t care if he could be killed during this time for wanting to stay by your side at the last minute of your life.
“Listen to me, don’t say anything, just listen to me.” He swallowed a huge lump and held your hand, squeezing it tight since he wanted you to feel that you were not alone. “I am going to find you, in another life, I will. We are going to meet up, fall in love, get married to each other, have kids if you want that, anything you want! Anything, anything you want me to.”
Jean said it all in one take of breath, afraid that you were already gone by now. “I promise, I promise I will find you one day.” And his lips shaped into a thin smile as he saw your peaceful face. “We will be happy by then.” Whispering one last time before hurriedly pressing his lips on yours, giving you the warmth that you always wanted to taste.
You clapped your hands as you stood up from your seat, wearing the best smile that you could offer as you watched him leaning down to kiss her, to kiss the same woman that was fated to be loved by someone as wonderful as him.
Truthfully, you felt like a masochist for wanting to be here. There were a lot of good wedding organisers out there, but he decided to call you, using the same sentence that he chose you because he knew you would never disappoint — that you were the one who knew him best.
He looked so majestic with the white wedding suit wrapped perfectly to compliment his tall figure. You didn’t count how many times you wanted to break down seeing him in white like this, not when you already promised to yourself that you were going to do anything to make him the happiest man alive.
The smile that now radiated from his face, the tears that pricked at the corner of his eyes as he looked at the guest, it was enough sign that you did the right thing.
Even in this life, you knew that he was meant to be with her. When you received tons of miss calls from him a few months after the two of you had become close friends and told you everything about this perfect woman, you already surrendered your own happiness for his.
He sounded so excited that day, gushing at you about this one ravenette he met at the cafe. Someone with the most beautiful hair that he always saw, someone that you knew her name was even without him telling you first.
You listened to him, every single day, about how he wanted to be with her. He told you when he accidentally touched her hand; he felt a spark that felt so nostalgic, and he saw how he was kissing her in perhaps his past life. And when you received such information, when you connected the dots about the things that happened after you die, you immediately set that one goal in your life.
That, whatever happened, he had to get her. She always ended up being the one he loved the most, and there was nothing you could do to change that. Jean never gave any sign that he recognised you either, so you knew there was no point for you to ask him about the promise that he made.
In this life where there were no cruel monsters, you thought perhaps you would find love in the form of him. But it was not possible, not when she was his true love, and you had to accept the fact that you would always just become the woman who knew him best — nothing else but that.
And even though you had to endure the same pain that you felt in your previous life, watching the man that you gave your whole heart to be head over heels with someone else, you regretted nothing.
Because you were sure that you and your heart would make it through, just like you always did from the start.
✏️Summary:The smile that stretches on your lips is another one of those genuine smiles you’ve grown unaccustomed to, and as you crouch down to sit next to him, you realize you haven’t been this happy in a long time. It’s not just the here-and-now with Reiner, it’s more of a general feeling. Being home. Hanging out with your old friends. Finally letting yourself open up and move forward, as Zeke put it.
✏️ A/N: I haven’t written a word in forever, so this is me experimenting, both with a new fandom and with 2nd POV writing lol the idea for this story has been in the making for literally a year, I can’t believe I’m finally posting it.
✏️Content Warnings:modern!AU + fluff, angst, and smut, so 18+ only. Mentions of death (reader’s mother and (briefly, in passing) Reiner’s mother + Armin’s parents) and funeral. Mentions of alcohol and alcohol consumption. Vaginal fingering. Thigh riding. Protected vaginal sex. Oral sex (f/r and m/r). Hand job. Multiple orgasms (both m/r and f/r). Mentions of shower sex. Idk, suggestive stuff I guess. A whole lot of feelings. [If I missed anything, just lmk.]
✏️Word Count: 23,8k
SUNLIGHT
It’s surprising, the way everything seems to lead back to this coastal town. All the choices you made before leaving everything behind, and then the way life went after venturing off in search of a new path. Of new people. Maybe even better chances than what this place has to offer aside from the salty breeze blowing in from the ocean, or the white, polished pieces of wood and shells that wash up on the shore. The smell of fish. The calls of the fishermen on their boats.
You left because home started feeling like it was closing in on you, suffocating, asphyxiating, and then you realized life in the city can also make you feel the same way. Small, and alone. Insignificant. Like you never belong. Like you’re standing on the sidelines, watching everyone else go on, do things, become different versions of themselves.
It’s a fist in the gut, to come back with the mid-spring torrential rains, and to have this feeling bubble up from deep inside, some recondite corner of your soul you haven’t felt in forever – or maybe you have, and it was just a too-hard pill to swallow all along.
I’m home.
Which is a random, almost out-of-place feeling to have. You’re going back – not home – for your mother’s funeral, after all, that same mother you always blamed just to find out way too late in life that it was never her fault. That it was the other way around. That you put yourself on a pedestal and looked down on the only person that didn’t leave. The only person that stayed by your side.
