Glazed Eyes, Empty Hearts

My Mind | 15

I’ve been trapped in my mind lately. Often than usual. What is it in our mind or hearts that makes it dependent on us humans that we think we can’t live without a loved one? How can we be so addicted to someone else who doesn’t even think of us? You keep thinking and thinking and at some point you’re so far that you don’t even realize how you got into the dark and now you don’t know how to get out. You’re trying not to think about it but you loose control over your thoughts. You’re trying to escape with drugs and alcohol but it keeps making everything worst. Suddenly you’ve reached your breaking point and think live doesn’t make any sence and you’re starting to have suicidal thoughts caus you don’t want to live in a world where everything you see and feel is either sadness or numbness. You try to remeber when you were happy and when this endless sadness have started. You can’t remeber. Living is fighting. I don’t know what will happen in 5 years. Will I be happy? Will I survive? Will I be dead? I don’t know. All I know is that it is hard when I hate myself. I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

- a vision of ecstasy