The new norm

How can emptiness be so heavy?

Does anyone sometimes cut to prove to themselves that your emotions are valid because you’ve been invalidated your whole life? Cause same.

Glazed Eyes, Empty Hearts

My Mind | 15

I’ve been trapped in my mind lately. Often than usual. What is it in our mind or hearts that makes it dependent on us humans that we think we can’t live without a loved one? How can we be so addicted to someone else who doesn’t even think of us? You keep thinking and thinking and at some point you’re so far that you don’t even realize how you got into the dark and now you don’t know how to get out. You’re trying not to think about it but you loose control over your thoughts. You’re trying to escape with drugs and alcohol but it keeps making everything worst. Suddenly you’ve reached your breaking point and think live doesn’t make any sence and you’re starting to have suicidal thoughts caus you don’t want to live in a world where everything you see and feel is either sadness or numbness. You try to remeber when you were happy and when this endless sadness have started. You can’t remeber. Living is fighting. I don’t know what will happen in 5 years. Will I be happy? Will I survive? Will I be dead? I don’t know. All I know is that it is hard when I hate myself. I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

- a vision of ecstasy

My Mind | 13

Today it’s one of those day where i feel completely lost and trap in my mind. This morning just went wrong. It just started bad. I had a dream about you last night. We weren’t talking either like in reality. You looked at me and I looked at you but I couldn’t get any closer to you and you didn’t make any effort trying talking to me so we just stared at each other. Even in my dreams my body reacts when I see your face. When I see your face I felt sadness and pain. I woke up wanted to cry. It’s hard not to think about you or not to miss you. I thought I could escape the pain in my dreams but now I see you there, too. I told myself I was done with you but*sigh* I guess I’m not that’s why I saw you in my dream. It’s been two month now since were not talking anymore. Did you even notice that I deleted your number? No because I was right, you never really wanted me to stay in your life. You don’t care about me. I could be dead. Would you notice? Everyday it gets worst and worst I’m on the edge of a cliff but don’t know what to do yet…

- a vision of ecstasy

So you want this I know you will surely head back here cause you can only get that from me in the state…..MISTRESS IF THE SEASON!!!

Text me now girls Hello mommy

Andrea Ashe

Empty and spread Fuckdoll, accept your life

I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty and I could not have described it any better.”