#harley quin suicide squad
Harley, jokingly: I should have Mr. J kill you for that.
Joker, peering around the corner: Who do I need to kill?
Harley:Wh- no Puddin, I was just kidding around.
Joker, pulling out a switchblade: No, who’s bothering you?
Joker: *walks into the room with a giant stuffed animal* Guess who made 15 baskets in a row at the carnival?
Harley: Some kid we beat up!
Both: *High fives*
[Phone rings]
Frost: *holding the phone* Boss, it’s your girlfriend.
Joker: *grabs the phone* Harley is not my girlfriend.
Joker: *into the phone* What is it pumpkin?
Joker: Listen, Doctor-
Harleen: Please, call me Harleen.
Joker: I’d rather not. If I named you, I might get attached.
Ivy: If he doesn’t treat you right by now, you’re gone.
Harley: I’m gone.
Ivy: nOW GO CHOP HIS DICK OFF
Batman: I’m taking you in Joker.
Joker: Let me ask Harley.
Batman: That’s not how it work-
Joker: She said no.
Batman: What is it exactly that you do?
Harley: Kick names, take ass.
Joker:*facepalms*
Joker: Y'know, that doesn’t sound like an apology.
Harley: Bite me.
Joker:*Pins Harley to a wall*
Joker: If you’re not careful *Leans in*
Joker: I just might.
Harley: *is shook*
[Knocking on the door]
Harley: You wanna get that?
Joker: And interact with people? No, thanks.
Joker: *licks the chip Harley was about to eat* I licked it therefore it is mine.
Harley: *licks the Joker*
Joker: Well played.
Dr. Leland: Where have you been?
Harleen, coming back from a therapy session with the Joker: Emotional hell.
Harley: My criminal record? The only illegal thing I’ve done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor.
Harley: Ha just kidding, I have technically killed a man.
Joker: Harley, pumpkin pie let go of daddy’s leg.
Harley::(
Joker:my clients are staring.
Harley::(
Joker: get ahold of yourself woman.
Mob boss, being attacked by Harley: Get this bitch off of me!
Joker, unenthusiastically: Stop. Bad girl. No.
Joker: I’m ignoring you.
Harley:…
Joker: I said I’m ignoring you.
Harley:…
Joker: Stop ignoring me ignoring you!
Harley, throws her head on Joker’s lap and looks up at him: Puddin, tell me I’m pretty.
Joker, rests his hand on Harley’s cheek and smiles lovingly at her: You’re pretty fucking annoying that’s what you are.
Harley: My food’s too hot I can’t eat it.
Joker: You’re too hot but I still eat you.
Harley:
Harley: Fuck Mr. J!
Ivy: Yes, fuck Mr. J, I think you’d both like that.
[Harley, hiding behind a wall, waiting]
[Joker walks by]
Harley:BOO
Joker: AAAA, stooooop, I could’ve dropped my croissant!
Frost:*snorts*
Harley: When you said you did magic in bed, this isn’t what I expec-
Joker: (holding up ace of spades) Is this your card?
Harley: (softly) holy shit.
