#i dont know what to do

so i got diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. my dad screamed at me because i didnt tell him about my mental health and thats why i havent been getting out of bed and doing anything. screaming at me does not help. i want to move out, i cant handle this anymore.

I’v had some joint pain for a year or so now in my knees, there’s usually only pain on my period though, and now my wrists, ankles, and elbows hurt too. I have calorie restricted for many years because of bad body image and relationship with food so i’m worried I have osteoporosis. I’m autistic so I have texture sensitivity issues with vegetables and fruits, I try and have as balanced a diet as I can but I also take multivitamins.

My logic was most of the food I eat is high calorie and processed so I should just eat less so I don’t be even more unhealthy and not put on weight. Because my mum has been dieting for years and it’s ingrained in my brain to lose weight even though I know diets don’t work and i’m being fatphobic to myself??  So my eyesight got blurry, I got constipated, my periods stopped, I got weaker, fatigued, my hands and feet were cold, I couldn’t sleep without aid, and my joints began to hurt.. And then I googled calorie restriction and found out all my symptoms were caused by my disordered eating.

So I’ve been eating more, enough to get my hands to be warm and my symptoms have got better. My eyesight has actually got less blurry. But now the joint pain is getting worse. My periods are trying to come back and I think this is a period of low eostrogen so the pain is worse  but that means it’s just masking the pain that’s always there, right? I sent an e-consult asking for advice and the doctor thought I was asking for a sick note? ?

Has anyone had experience with this before? I’m so scared to talk to me doctor about it because my experience with untreated chronic pain has left me with no faith in them. I’m so scared and in pain

egirlsupremacy:

Just me crying

Guys, I just want to cry, like a lot.

I’m so in a bad mood, and crush isn’t helping at all.

My biggest fear is that he’ve lost his interest in me, and now he won’t text me back.

I can’t actually tell if it’s something just in my head or it’s really happening, but I feel so bad now…

I know that isn’t a really big problem, but I really can’t put this aside and thinking about anything else…

currently at my desk at work and having absolutely NO MOTIVATION to do any fucking thing.

my life… is horrible.

Failing in Math. 

I like it when you grab my waist nd pull me it
I like it when you softy kiss my lips but it turns rough
I like it when you look at me from across the table
I like it when u do your little secret smile at me

I don’t like it when you keep me a secret from our friends
I don’t like it when the guys make a comment like oh your cute together nd you get mad
I don’t like it how u make me feel bad about liking u

Okay, is it like a trend or troll thing going around where ppl reblog your stuff, but reuse all, and I mean ALL, the tags from the original post?

Bc I’ve been having that happen a lot and idky. Especially since some tags are specific to me or are only relevant to my account.

I’m so tired of being alone

I’ve joined clubs and stuff to meet people but when I do nothing ever comes of it. I speak to people and we get on but that’s as far as it goes. I’m never confident enough to ask them if they want to meet up as I’m worried about being rejected, and nobody ever asks me either.

I have a few friends at work but we very rarely meet up outside of work, they have families and their own friends and I’m afraid to ask.

Am I a bitch if I refuse to help pay for a playstation 5 for my brothers 31st birthday???

His new girlfriend came up with the idea to get him one with a couple of others, but that means everyone has to chip in 100 euro’s. Which is not only a lot of money to me but also for my sister who hardly gets around every month.
Adding the fact that my brother never helps picking out gifts for my parents and has never bought a gift for my sister or me….

I feel shitty to not pitch in, but I really don’t want to, should I?

  I’m leaning more towards buying a 3DS for Kingdom Hearts instead of a PS3 now….but I still want a PS3 for Catherine and Skyrim…I don’t know what to do!!!!!!!!

hey this is like mega spur-of-the-moment but i really want to continue drawing consistently this summer, so i don’t stagnate.

anyone have any character requests they want me to knock out? i’m just talking something semi-finished. i don’t have many good ideas right now despite totally WANTING to draw. i may or may not get to all of them depending on how many people respond to me but,,,, i’ll try my best to do whatever is asked of me

a-magical-artist:

My art isn’t showing up in the tag and I have no idea what to do

Legitimately I don’t know what’s happening; tumblr’s always been fickle with me when it comes to art tags on this blog showing up in the magia record search but this is just starting to get ridiculous 

So uh, i’ve been locked out of my twitter and I’m having a fucking panic attack at midnight someone save me- 

Sherlock double wallpaper!

It’s been a while sorry… er no one has any request for me yet so………….

My tablet died and so did the art that was saved exclusively in there (so most of what I would usually post on tumblr).

So many unfinished works are probably gone forever and will never see an ending…

I probably won’t post art for a while.

If I didn’t have nightmares, maybe I’d wake up feeling better.

JustConscienceThings