#implosive borderline
When I worked at a mental health crisis centre, I couldn’t believe how many people came to us, not because of their own problems, but because they were so lost in a friend’s pain that they couldn’t take it anymore. I saw a lot of people who were so worn down from helping someone else that they couldn’t sleep, eat, socialize or focus at work or school. They were consumed with guilt every time they put down their phones, went to sleep, or dared to enjoy themselves and have a good time. All because they had no idea how to set boundaries.
Helping your friends through a tough situation is a wonderful and noble thing to do, but it only works if you’re mentally in a place to do so. If you’re dealing with issues or mental illness of your own, you’re not always capable of being someone else’s shoulder to cry on 24/7. And that’s okay. Sometimes, you have to put yourself first. You can’t help someone else if you’re a mess yourself. You can’t save a drowning person with a sinking ship.
Telling a friend that you’re overwhelmed and you need a break is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. Honesty is the best policy - don’t go radio silent on them, or avoid answering their messages. Be honest about how you’re feeling, and what you need from them. If you’re stuck on what to say and how to start the conversation, here are a few suggestions. Feel free to copy them exactly:
It’s really hard for me to admit this, but I’ve been feeling like I’m on the verge of a breakdown lately. I love you and I care about you, but I need to take some time to take care of myself for a while.
I’m really concerned about you, but I honestly don’t know how to deal with this and I’m worried I’ll say the wrong thing. I really think that you should talk to a professional about this.
This is hard for me to admit, but I have a lot going on in my life right now, and it’s getting to be too much for me. Would it be okay if we talked about lighter stuff for the next little while?You deserve more support than I can give you. I think you need to tell a close family member or professional about what’s going on.
It seems like every time we talk about this, things are worse for you. I’m worried that my advice isn’t helping you at all, and I think you should talk to someone more qualified than me.
I’m really worried for your safety, and it breaks my heart, but I can’t keep you safe all by myself. Would it be okay if we told someone else what was going on?
I’m sorry, but I can’t answer my text messages 24 hours per day. I really want to make sure that you always have someone to turn to if I’m not available. Are there some other people you would trust with this? I can help you tell them, if you’re not comfortable doing it by yourself.
I hope these suggestions are helpful - best of luck to all of you, and make sure to put your own mental health first when you have to.
I saw yesterday that people with BPD don’t fall in love they just get obsessed and then bored in a vicious cycle with different people and honestly I did not need to be called out like that.
you’re either that type of borderline or you’re the type to fall in love then stay totally in love w the concept of that person from behind bars after they’ve framed you for murder. there’s no in between. (✿ꈍ◡ꈍ)
anyway you guys understand what its like to completely have no sense of self and just mirror the personality of every new person you meet becayse you can psychoanalyze them within seconds of saying hello. and then theyre convinced that youre soulmates but youre literally just adapting to their every move and essentially becoming another version of them until eventuslly you collect enlugh traits to form one fucked up personality of your own… right?
lololol bpd/aspd & low-empathy/hyper-empathy solidarity 4ever baybee
being a quiet, or implosive, borderline means you will internalize the anger and fear and sadness and guilt characterized by our disorder. we will deflect,repress, and compact our symptoms within ourselves, building resentment for those close to us when our suffering isn’t recognized. this will develop into self-punishment. we are far more likely than our explosive counterparts to hurt ourselves without warning or desire for acknowledgement. we shrink ourselves down so we aren’t burdens, but we don’t need to be small to occupy our own lives.
please teach yourself to communicate. practice effective and respectful ways to do so. this will be your greatest strength. nurture your vulnerability. nurture your ability to grow. dedicate yourself to it and don’t let go. you’re worth so much more than you think. your potential is staggering and your current state is the core of that.
even if you don’t think anyone else cares:
self-harm intrinsically damages others too.
self-hate intrinsically damages others too.
suicide intrinsically damages others too.
entertaining fantasies of of any of those intrinsically damages yourself.
reaching out for help doesn’t intrinsically damage anything. more often than not, it’s a step to repair it.
you have earned your voice simply by having it to use. use it.
you aren’t keeping anyone from feeling your pain by keeping the secret of being in agony.
pain is not a thing you own, but instead a thing you radiate.
being a quiet, or implosive, borderline means you will internalize the anger and fear and sadness and guilt characterized by our disorder. we will deflect,repress, and compact our symptoms within ourselves, building resentment for those close to us when our suffering isn’t recognized. this will develop into self-punishment. we are far more likely than our explosive counterparts to hurt ourselves without warning or desire for acknowledgement. we shrink ourselves down so we aren’t burdens, but we don’t need to be small to occupy our own lives.
please teach yourself to communicate. practice effective and respectful ways to do so. this will be your greatest strength. nurture your vulnerability. nurture your ability to grow. dedicate yourself to it and don’t let go. you’re worth so much more than you think. your potential is staggering and your current state is the core of that.
