#incorrect quotes
Dean: You look like you didn’t get any sleep last night.
Sam: Sleep? Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in ages.
Cas: Sam, I messed up the invitations.
Sam: How?
Cas: They were supposed to say “Dean’s Birthday,” but instead they say, “Dean’s Bi.”
Sam: Hey, that could still work.
So my headcanon for character Thomas and by extension Patton is that he has mugs for various purposes. Because projecting is what we do around here.
Character Thomas: This one is the mug for hot coffee, that’s the one for iced coffee, this is the tea mug, this is the one for milk, and this one is the hot chocolate mug. Very important. Can’t mix them up.
Logan: But why? What is the difference between them?
Patton: I thought it was pretty clear, Logan.
Character Thomas: Yeah Logan. This is clearly the hot coffee mug.
Logan: But why?
Logan:You own more than 50 mugs. Why do you only use these five?
Character Thomas: *whispers* Because it’s the hot coffee mug.
Patton:*quietly* Hot coffee mug.
Logan:Thomas why are you crying? It’s only one broken mug, you have others!
Character Thomas and Patton, sobbing: But this was the hoy chocolate mug!
One time I purposely broke a mug then cried about it so this is the most relatable thing
Apollo: When I have a crush and it’s not mutual? It’s like okay babe you’re not grasping the plot, did you even read the script???
Mortals, inside Demeter’s temple: Thank you for pre-slicing oranges for us. You didn’t have to and you did anyway and that was cool of you
Persephone: I’m fine, thank you for asking! But recently there’s been a darkness growing within me
Hermes: My boy mad because I haven’t replied to his selfie yet. Hold on shawty I’m trying to figure out how to spell georges
Zeus: You played me like a fiddle!
Apollo: Oh no, Father. Fiddles are actually quite difficult to play. I played you like the cheap kazoo you are.
Persephone: I am one hell of a woman and you should be fucking terrified of me.
this awoke something within me
[How it would have played out if Minthe, Thetis and Thanatos went to Hecate with their information on Persephone’s act of wrath.]
Hecate: Let me get this straight, you think that the Goddess of Spring, heir to one of the wealthiest and most powerful Goddesses in the world, secretly grew to giant proportions and slaughtered an entire human city during a psychotic break, and your plan is to blackmail this person?
[The snarky chat trio’s face fall and Hecate smiles.]
Hecate: Good luck.
Daphne: [Texting with Apollo, pre-Thanatos.] What the fuck?
Echo: …
Daphne: What the FUCK?!
Echo: [Stare’s disapprovingly.]
Daphne: I’m sorry. [Shows her the text chain.] Apollo just referred to my vagina as my “lady flower”.
Echo: [Disgusted] Ugh! Dump him immediately.
Artemis: Do you ever feel guilty about anything you do?
Apollo: Guilt is like a stomachache from overeating. You make all sorts of promises while you’re feeling it, but once it passes you just get hungry again.
Artemis: Most people are not like you.
Apollo: Everybody’s like me. I’m just not in denial.
Zeus: It’ll be fun.
Zeus: We’ll make it a boys day.
Zeus:Come on you punk bitch.
Hades: I can’t believe I have to say this.
Hades: I don’t have time to get tested with sti’s with you tomorrow.
Hephaestus: No.
Ares: [Holding up his hand for a hi five, while wearing a “Team Persephone” shirt.] Come on…
Hephaestus: [Also wearing a “Team Persephone” shirt, but looking much more dour.] I told you I would never do that again.
Ares: You can do it!
Hephaestus: …
Ares: …
Hephaestus: …
Ares: …
Hephaestus: …
Ares: …
Hephaestus: …
Ares: …
Hephaestus: [Lets out a frustrated sigh before finally relenting to hi five Ares.]
Ares: YES!!! TEAM PERSEPHONE!!!
Hephaestus: I hateyou.
Ai: “Junko…”
Junko: “Oh no, ‘Junko’ in b-flat.”
Junko, fearfully: “You’re disappointed.”
Kotaro: “My policy is if you see something, say something.”
Tae: “ Ay aegh hgae hg hagehag ghan!” (I saw a squirrel in a tree today!)
Kotaro: “Outstanding.”
Kotaro: “This is what I’m talking about people!”
Yugiri: “Someone will die.”
Lily: “Of fun!”
Lily, watching the news: “Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!”
Tae, walking in covered with ink: “Awgh asghs ehaga hgerae ghiaghen enan.” (Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.)
Ai, after being hit by lightning a second time: “I learned some very valuable lessons from this.”
Junko: “I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.”
Ai: “Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.”
