#incorrect witcher quotes
Sarcastic
Kiyan:If I’m extra sarcastic with you it probably means I’m flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can’t handle your crap… have fun figuring out which one.
Nerdy
Adrien: [leafing through Kiyan’s bestiary and herbarium] Why do you have to write down each and every word. It’s so nerdy.
Kiyan: Writing things down in nerdy? What do you do then?
Adrien: I just forget stuff, like a cool person.
Family game night
Sybilla:[reading from a game card] What’s something you put in your mouth but don’t swallow
Adrien:C-
Kiyan: [covering Adriens’ mouth] You actually swallowed last time so shut the fuck up.
Titus: [facepalming] Oh for fuck’s sake…!
Gisbert:Mouthwash!
Sybilla: Thank you sweet child, you’re right!
Friendly Note
Klemens:Master Kiyan,let’s write the Prince a friendly note, shall we?
Kiyan, writting: Dear… Incompetent… Dumbass…
List
Kiyan: Here’s a list of things I hate that Adrien for some reason loves.
Kiyan: Number one - me.
Adrien: Kitty, we talked about this.
Apologize
Adrien: Me, I’m a man of action. You have to act first and apologize later. Like I have learned to do.
Kiyan: You never apologize.
Adrien: I would if I had ever been wrong.
Casually
Adrien to Kiyan: You thought this was going to be a casual one-night stand? But maybe it could be a casual… one thousand-night stand. Maybe we could keep casually having sex, and then casually have kids together, and then casually grow old together. Casually get on each other’s health insurance. Then casually die side by side, like in the end of The Notebook.
Kiyan:…
Kiyan:I’m concerned about how quickly this escalates.
Kiyan: What did you do?
Adrien: Alright, but you can’t get mad at me…
Kiyan: WHAT did you do?
Adrien: Okay, first, I was minding my own business–
Kiyan: [slams hand on the table] BULLSHIT!
Adrien: I WAS!
Hurricane
Titus (about Kiyan, watching him slaughter Scoia'tael): That witcher is a hurricane.
Adrien (wistfully): He sure is.
Titus: …Hurricanes are bad, Adrien.
Hate him
Kiyan: I hate Adrien. But when he-
Adrien: [running his hands through his hair]
Kiyan:
You flee my dream come the morning
Your scent - berries tart, lilac sweet
To dream of raven locks entwisted, stormy
Of violet eyes, glistening as you weep
Geralt: Jaskier can we talk about the message you just sent me?
Jaskier: It was a critical update
Geralt: It just says ‘im back on my bullshit’
Jaskier: The people need to know
Jaskier: You need a hobby
Geralt: I have a hobby
Jaskier: Brooding isn’t a hobby my dear
Ciri: Am I in trouble?
Yennefer: Take a guess
Ciri: …no?
Jaskier: Take another guess
Jaskier: As your best friend-
Geralt: No one is my best friend
Jask: AS YOUR BEST FRIEND-
Jaskier: What we need here is a compromise
Geralt: Meaning I do what you want and compromise my integrity
Jaskier: Democracy in action right there
Jaskier: You know, I could have been killed… or worse …
Jask: Geralt could’ve given me another lecture on responsibility
Yennefer: Who would win in a fight, Jaskier or Geralt?
Ciri: I can’t answer that, Geralt's my dad!
Yen: So Jaskier?
Ciri: Yeah
Jaskier: Truth is, I only know one truly platonic relationship
Geralt: You and me
Jaskier: Don’t make me laugh dear you want to hit this so hard
Yennefer: Sorry I was late I was… taking care of something
Jaskier: *Enters the room looking noticeably dishevelled*
Jaskier: SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS
