#incorrect rwrb
Alex: I’m bisexual
Ellen: oh, that’s it honey? I thought it’d be something much worse…
Alex: also, I met someone
Ellen: Oh! I’m glad for you. Who is it?
Alex:…
Alex: What do you know about Welsh Kings?
Alex: What do you call a person Pez is having sex with?
Henry: do NOT. I beg you.
Alex: a Pez dispenser.
Henry: (to Shaan) Can you get rid of him?
June: I’m so disappointed in all of you. I’m at a loss for words
Narrator: despite being at a loss for words, June continued to yell at the trio for the next 2 and half hours
Henry: sometimes when we disagree, you’re so passionate I feel like I’m arguing with the sun
Alex:What?! That is totally crazy! I AM SUPER CHILL ALL THE TIME!
Alex: Nothing in life is free
Henry: Love is free
Pez: Friendship is free
June: Knowledge is free
Bea: Sleep is free
Nora: Everything is free if you take it without paying
Henry: I don’t date
Alex: hey HRH Prince Dickhead
Henry:
Henry: I retract my earlier statement
Henry [a large box in his arms]: what would you say if I came home one day with six puppies?
Alex: what’s in the box
Henry:
Alex: what’s in the box, sweetheart?
Henry: I think you know
Alex: Henry, can I ask you something
Henry: Yes, I will marry you
Alex:…that’s not what I was going to ask
Henry: My answer has not changed
Bea: small creatures are way more vicious. it’s because there’s less room to contain their anger
Henry: that’s ridiculous. name one example
June:wasps
Pez:spiders
Nora:Alex
Alex: you’re the love of my life and my best friend. I’d do anything for you. You want the moon, baby? I’ll get you the moon
Henry: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule
Alex: absolutely not. I’m offended you’d even ask
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Alex says.
“You don’t?”
“No.”
“You really don’t?”
“I really, really don’t.”
If Harry and Meghan were invited to present the Oscars (Although they declined the invitation as far as I know) …
What keeps me from thinking about Alex and Henry presenting an Oscar nomination?
And especially this year, because of the James Bond tribute, a lot of Latinos (yay!) and all that.
DEFINITELY ALREADY ADVANCING THE PRODUCTION OF RED, WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE
*Bea, Henry and Alex are walking and there is a mud puddle*
Alex: *Taking off his sweater* I’ll help you pass, baby.
Henry: * Blushes* He’s always this gentlemanly to me, Bea.
Alex: *Throws his sweater aside and throws himself into the mud puddle* Now you can pass, Hen!
Henry: ALEX, WHAT THE HELL?!
Alex: When’s your birthday?
Henry: March 12th
Alex: What year?
Henry *visibly confused*: …every year???
Henry: I tried to write ‘I’m a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.
Alex after he just passed the bar, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK??
Alex, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!
Alex: What’s the one thing I told you not to do?
Henry: Burn the house down.
Alex: And what did you do?
Henry: I made you dinner!
Alex:
Henry:
Henry, sighing: And burnt the house down.
June: That awkward moment when you’re scrolling through someone’s old Instagram posts and you accidentally comment the entire Declaration of Independence.
June: Don’t tell your mother :)
Nora: Kiss one another :)
June: DIE FOR EACH OTHER—
Henry, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I’ll drink my sorrows away.
Nora: I need to dye my hair.
Alex: …
Nora: Or get a tattoo.
Alex: …
Nora: Or a piercing.
Alex: Why?
Nora: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown Gods.
Nora: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.
