kermit really is that bitch…… he went from crying in showers and talking to negative inner monologues to running freely in a dandelion field,,…i’m tryna be on this level
“For a teacher to recognize unconventional thinking and to say ‘you’re on to something, keep going’ really that was a game changer for me, because I felt seen.”
-Dan Levy to Iowa Universities, April 2021
Photo: Brad Torchia
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Isn’t that what we all want? To be seen? To have someone recognize what’s special inside of each of us? Can you do that for someone in your life?
Three walks the last three days of 2020 testing the Fujifilm X100V.
Here in Mexico City this last 15 days the streets are usually empty but now are even emptier because of these pandemic times, so yes, there was no risk here to take these shots, just the proper precautions.
It has been a difficult year for everyone. I wish you the best for 2021.
“Do you ever put your arms out and just spin and spin and spin? Well, that’s what love is like. Everything inside of you tells you to stop before you fall, but you just keep going.”
There are two parts to this solution and with the wrong mindset they can sound like mindless drudgery or like you’re supposed to be a robot. The opposite is true. You have to be mindful and you’re practicing good self-care.
The first part of the solution is to make a daily schedule. Put it somewhere you can’t ignore it. Use an app, notebook, or a spreadsheet. If one format doesn’t work after a couple weeks, try a different one. Be glacially patient. If it takes you time to remember that you’re trying to use a schedule and you have to build the habit of consulting it every day, that’s okay. Give yourself a month to make that one part a habit before giving up. Set a reminder to check or have someone agree to praise you in a positive and silly way when you tell them you did the thing. They don’t ask “did you check it?” They’ll fist bump you enthusiastically or make, like, celebratory chicken noises when you say you did it. The chicken noises must never be used to nag a person to do something, but only given as a reward. The chicken noises are sacred.
A few weeks ago I was a mess, my days were formless blobs. I couldn’t do anything, but I’d overcome this problem before. I made a spreadsheet and created an ambitious new daily schedule. I printed it out and stuck it to the freezer door with my favorite magnets. It gave me that walking into an office supply store optimism! I had glitter star stickers! What could go wrong?
Everything. I tried to radically alter my daily routine, or lack of one. I tried to add too many new tasks to my day to “fix my life.” I should have added 2 or 3 new tasks and adjusted one structural aspect of my day, like a consistent daily wake up time.
It can take a month or more for a daily habit to stick. If you want to floss every night, put your floss where you’ll see it. Try to do it every night for 4 to 6 weeks. You’ll forget sometimes and that’s fine. Keep going. This isn’t about having a perfect record, it’s about making yourself reach for the floss and use it, because that’s your habit.
But what do you do in the mean time when you need to wash dishes or take a shower or do anything you’re struggling with even though you think it should be simple. It’s on your schedule. You should just do it. It’s not hard, right? And yet you can’t do it. You think about it, but nope.
2. Do not think about what you’re going to do. Simply go to the place you need to do it and put on your dishwashing gloves or open your .doc, pick up the laundry basket, or turn on the shower.
I’ve been struggling to do my PT exercises, even though I’m in pain that would get better if I did them. I think, Oh yeah. PT. Gotta do that. I should do that. Sometimes I start to imagine myself doing the exercises, whether it’s going to be hard or painful. And then I don’t do the exercises because I gave myself a choice.
I pretend it’s a habit. I do NOT think about the activity at all. I don’t think oh, I’ll do that soon or UGH it’s time to do it, I guess. I immediately lie down on my exercise mat and do the first bridge. Once I’ve gotten past that hurdle it’s pretty easy to keep going. I pretend it’s a habit until it is one. I do this with chores like dishes. I do not think about the task. I go to the sink and put on my gloves and keep going.
