#life blogging
Repeat after me!
I will never stop being a goddess unapologetically.
I will never let anyone hinder me from reaching my full potential and to touch my potent energy.
I will forever strive for myself. I am at the height of my climb and there are mountains yet to see.
-Thy Diva
Back from my little hiatus my sirens… I’ve had a lot going on lately and I didn’t have the energy to be as creative as I usually would be. But I’m back now and I’ll be working on a new post, smaller things for now but I’ll be more active!
-Thy Diva
! !
I.
As I have disappeared from the face of the Earth for a bit, I was faced with many challenges and new oppurtunities over the past six months. Let me give you a rundown of what happened during my hiatus, my sirens…
To start this off, law school has been both a breeze and a hassle at the same time. I found my classes fairly interesting and the professors I had were incredibly helpful throughout the semester. I was able to push through the neverending workload and readings every week, on the exemption of French literature which focused on contemporary Quebec stories, a class I had dropped to pursue another literature course instead. School has been one of the main reasons why I needed the hiatus for I needed to focus on my education and will continue to do so, but at least now I have a greater grasp of how it works so I can manage my time more.
II.
Secondly, there was a the issue of my break up.
I had broken up with my former boyfriend after two years together around the first week of June 2021. It was hard and sudden at first but I was able to move on from it fairly quickly thanks to me choosing solidarity in those hard moments, I was able to truly focus on my emotions, let them overwhelm me when needed and without letting them get past me. I am now in a better place and met some amazing people, my socializing and networking skills have never been better! I’m trying to focus on myself much more and make a better life for myself as well as ensure a good future not only for me, but for my family.
III.
Moreover my sirens, an incident had occurred on the first day of November last year, I was left severely damaged both mentally and physically. However, I will get into that on another post as it is a touchy topic. There is no need for worry though, I am now healed and still healing, I’m only getting stronger and I survived what had happened to me with my head held high knowing that I am my only protector at the end of the day and I prevailed in doing that for myself.
I have also decided to take a break from sugaring as I have become a bit weary from it all. I am going to instead focus more on my studies and nurturing not only myself but my relationships with those around me. I will eventually get back into the sugar bowl but until my mind is ready to dive back in, I will enjoy my vacation. Not to mention there might be a person of interest prying into my heart at this moment… (more on them later!)
IV.
In other news! Thy Diva is moving out, my sirens!
I am more than excited to share the news with all of you! This was a sudden decision as well as a hard one but I simply reached my ticking point living in my house. Things have become too toxic for my mental health and I cannot for the life of me spend another year in this house. I have spent six years here and the conditions gradually worsened as each year passed. I am going to go through it after this move, I am well aware of that, but I am ready to close this book and start a new chapter in my life. I have found someone to live with for the time being as we both plan on getting an apartment together in the summer months. I will keep you all updated as I continue to prepare myself for this huge shift in my life.
V.
I do hope you enjoyed our little catchup, I missed this place and I am ready to create and post some more content for you! If you have any suggestions for future posts, feel free to comment or leave an ask, I will be sure to take a look at it!
Have a blessed week, my sirens, for we all deserve to rejoice and have brightness in this mundane reality! See you soon… and remember: Nothing less, only more.
-Thy Diva
The whole distaste for anime in hollywood animation is such a boring discourse there’s really not much to say*, but I do have one personal take. I like looking at nice drawings and I think anime takes advantage of that in storytelling better than many western cartoons do, which I often feel like are obsessed with everything moving as much as possible, because they’re afraid that viewer will be bored. Not everything needs to move a lot in order to progress the story -set a mood or convey emotion. Anime borrows more from comics storytelling and I find it personally appealing, when you can just take time admiring landscapes or the character drawing, but the west (and I mean america) is really fixated on “nooo there’s not enough animation frames, so it’s crappy and people will be bored**”.
*artists, especially my gen appreciate and are widely influenced by anime so don’t blame the artists (I’ll take none of that bs), but there’s still lots of skeptics within the industry who mainly believe in Disney-esque animation being superior. Same types who generally think you know, animation is just for kids.
**I dunno where this notion comes from because if anything I get bored from watching too much hijinks happening on the screen all the time
This is neither here or there, but I wanted to get it out of my system. Nothing dramatic, just funny. I remember sometimes people comparing some of my work to “looks like dark souls” or “is it bloodborne” and while I knew the existence of these games, I never played them so I was just a little confused, like okay… fine, I guess I can see it, from looking it up? It’s a compliment regardless.
Now I’m playing Elden Ring and I was just randomly coming across a scenery that was just oh shit
If I was a better artist that looks like it was made by me, from my brain
Yes I see it, I see the connection now. Why is this game everything that I like, dammit (I say this, lovingly).
I started drinking tea instead of coffee every morning and let me just say that it’s had a major impact on my mind, body and the rest of my day in general!
(black tea, steeped for 3 minutes. I add honey and stevia for sweetening, sugar free !!)
I wanted to go So! Bad!
So we were in a little shop when this man comes in & takes a parrot out from under his coat..
Is this Hawaii?
It was almost 9PM at night when I was returning from getting food in my neighborhood when I saw 4 cop cars speeding past me like something seriously horrible happened. Usually I see them parked on the street about two yards away from the cross-walk because they just pulled someone over but this time, it looked like they were responding to a crime further away. And I’m just thinking “oh, this is just a typical Saturday night in my neighborhood.” And as usual, I just went on my way home.
Being an arachnophobe means constantly checking every corner of a room and the ceiling before you enter.
Being an arachnophobe means freaking out whenever you see a ball of hair on the floor before you realize it’s just a ball of hair.
Being an arachnophobe means teetering on the edge of a panic attack whenever you see a spider-web but not the spider.
Being an arachnophobe means wanting to pack your bags and move the minute the porter of your building tells you that the spider’s nest they found in the basement scattered all over the building when they disturbed it…and you live on the first floor…
Being an arachnophobe means cursing up a mental storm and breaking into a cold-sweat whenever you see a spider because it means you’re going to have to deal with it (killing it, removing it, whatever that means).
Being an arachnophobe means having a mental breakdown when you accidentally walk into a spider dangling from a web and it getting stuck on you.
Being an arachnophobe means your significant other telling you not to look behind you before they grab a shoe and kill it for you.
Being an arachnophobe means finding out that spiders create cobwebs (I honestly did not know this) and then freaking out when you find a lot of cobwebs in your room…
Being an arachnophobe means having to check every branch and leaf when you’re walking through a park or the woods to make sure you don’t accidentally run into a spider or it’s web.
Being an arachnophobe means finding out what countries experience raining spiders and have giant hunter spiders and deciding never to travel to those countries some day. Never going to Australia :P
Being an arachnophobe means going camping, entering a cabin, bathroom or changing area, seeing spiders and spider-webs everywhere and saying NOPE before turning back around and deciding to find another facility.
Being an arachnophobe means being excited to take a break from the city to go to the suburbs and then remembering that there are more spiders in the suburbs than in the city.
Being an arachnophobe means being over-joyed to stay at a friend’s relative’s place in the suburbs and she tells you that she hates spiders and she’s taken every measure possible to oust them from the house. (Halleluja!)
Being an arachnophobe means eating crabs and trying to forget that they’re in the same family as spiders.
Being an arachnophobe means finding two very small red spots next to each other your arm after waking up, Googling what it is, finding out that it’s a spider-bite and then jumping out of bed yelling to yourself “holy fuck, A SPIDER WAS ON ME?? WHERE THE FUCK IS IT??”
Being an arachnophobe means thinking about the possibility that you’ll never get over your fear and that you’ll probably die old from a heart-attack from seeing a spider.
I have a speech disorder called cluttering. I was diagnosed with it in college by a speech pathologist that my supervisor recommended for me. Basically cluttering is a speech disorder that causes your brain to struggle to process too much information at the same time and when you speak, your speech has a difficult time keeping up with your thoughts causing you to speak too rapidly and sometimes, wind up tripping over your own words. It’s often confused with stuttering.
What having a cluttering disorder is like (or at least for me):
- When I speak, I have a very difficult time controlling the rate of my speech. I speak waaay too fast sometimes 90% of the time people can’t understand what I’m saying. So I often have to repeat myself several times.
-I dread public speaking and speaking to people so badly that I often try to avoid having to speak to people in general unless I really have to. It also doesn’t help that I’m introverted. So I’m usually very quiet unless I’m around people who I feel comfortable being around or if I’m really happy. This is pretty bad because I started teaching an after-school illustration class to middle-school students this year and I always worry that the kids aren’t going to be able to understand me and they’ve already noticed that I speak very fast and they ask me about it. But I have a really hard time speaking the words “I have a speech disorder” so I don’t usually tell them about it. Which leads to my next point…
-There are so many words that I can’t say properly without tripping over my words. Like for example, here’s a list of some words and phrases that I have trouble saying:
1) What does it look like?
2) Particular
3) Participate
4) Specific and other words that start with “sp”
5) Comfortable
6) Sometimes (when saying it at the end of a sentence)
7) Say that again
-Since I have so many things running through my mind at once, I often struggle with multitasking when I’m dealing with people. I have no problem writing, listening to a YouTube video and watching TV at the same time and being able to pay attention to everything I’m doing but if I have to perform a task while speaking to someone, my brain starts short-circuiting. I can’t comprehend what they are saying. I’ve noticed this for a while but just recalled while my girlfriend was speaking to me as I was writing this.
-Whenever I speak, I wind up having to correct myself mid-sentence because I know that what I’m saying doesn’t sound right or that the person that I’m speaking to isn’t going to be able to understand me.
-Whenever I’m angry or upset, my speech is at its worst. My speech becomes incoherent, I jumble my words too much and I have to wait until I calm down before I speak.
-I say “um” way too much when I speak because I am trying to catch myself before my speech falters and to give myself time to process my thoughts before I speak.
-I often slur my words together and when I hear what I say after I’ve said it, more than half the time, I ask myself “what the hell did I just say??”
-I have a problem breathing when I speak sometimes because speaking is physically and mentally draining for me. It’s really embarrassing because I’ll be trying to say one sentence and I can’t get out what I’m trying to say because I have to take a deep breath.
-I constantly dread going to my teaching job on Thursdays and Fridays because I have to get up in front of a group of kids, present a lesson, speak to them about their work, ask them questions and explain other things to them. I also have to communicate with my supervisors in person which is something I don’t do at my other job. We mainly communicate through email because my worksite is separate from the main site. But with my 2nd job, if I have to speak to my supervisors, I mostly have to speak to them in person.
-Ihate speaking on the phone. The only people I feel comfortable speaking to on the phone are my mom, girlfriend and a few close friends. And this is terrible because I’ve missed networking events and opportunities to collaborate with people and have gallery shows because I was too afraid to call people.
-Working retail was a nightmare because it involved so much speaking and communicating with people. I always volunteered to work on the register (even though I hated cashiering) so that I could avoid being on the sales floor longer than I needed to and have to help customers. Dealing with one person at a time at the register was a lot easier than dealing a million people coming up to me at once all asking for help. Since then, I’ve avoiding applying for retail/customer service related jobs like the plague.
-I’m constantly angry and frustrated because I know that my speech disorder limits me from doing a lot of things like have a conversation with a person I’ve never met, public speaking and expressing my thoughts. It makes me feel as though I can’t function as a human being.
I don’t know how common this speech disorder is now. I’ve seen some videos on YouTube and it made me feel a little better knowing that there are other people out there who have my speech disorder and that I’m not alone. So please, reblog this if you have a speech disorder and can relate. Also, below are videos of myself speaking about my disorder.
Hello it’s me, your tired-but-friendly internet queer who got financially screwed over by an abusive parent and could really use some help!
Not to go into it too much, but escaping from an abusive situation doesn’t always mean escaping from the damage that person has and will continue to cause you if it’s within their control to screw your life up more.
Anyway, I’m trying to manage a sudden and horrible situation which is going to cost me upwards of £5k, but right now I’ve given as much as I can towards that cost to keep them off my back while I work out what the hell to do with payday too far away and no idea how much trouble this is going to end up causing me.
I’m barely managing to keep my mental health together and I have two cats to feed and the price of literally everything has skyrocketed, so I could really use some help just trying to keep my head above water.
If you can’t or don’t want to help, this is not for you, I promise. If you do and are able, my ko-fi is here or my PayPal is here, I don’t have cashapp or venmo because I’m in the UK, but if you want to talk anything through with me first that’s more than okay. Also I am open to pictures of pets and other cute things.
I’m going to drink some tea, try not to scream, and remind myself that one day he finally won’t be able to have any impact on my life anymore.
Thanks for reading
On top of this I now have to pay £180 under my shared care agreement (private diagnosis so I have to pay for my annual checkups.)
Since the above situation is very much still a thing, I really can’t afford that and without the check up my GP will no longer be able to prescribe me my meds.
I’m looking into getting my shared care moved entirely under the NHS but in the meantime if you’d like to help out my paypal is here and my ko-fi is here.
Thank you
Hello it’s me, your tired-but-friendly internet queer who got financially screwed over by an abusive parent and could really use some help!
Not to go into it too much, but escaping from an abusive situation doesn’t always mean escaping from the damage that person has and will continue to cause you if it’s within their control to screw your life up more.
Anyway, I’m trying to manage a sudden and horrible situation which is going to cost me upwards of £5k, but right now I’ve given as much as I can towards that cost to keep them off my back while I work out what the hell to do with payday too far away and no idea how much trouble this is going to end up causing me.
I’m barely managing to keep my mental health together and I have two cats to feed and the price of literally everything has skyrocketed, so I could really use some help just trying to keep my head above water.
If you can’t or don’t want to help, this is not for you, I promise. If you do and are able, my ko-fi is here or my PayPal is here, I don’t have cashapp or venmo because I’m in the UK, but if you want to talk anything through with me first that’s more than okay. Also I am open to pictures of pets and other cute things.
I’m going to drink some tea, try not to scream, and remind myself that one day he finally won’t be able to have any impact on my life anymore.
Thanks for reading
On top of this I now have to pay £180 under my shared care agreement (private diagnosis so I have to pay for my annual checkups.)
Since the above situation is very much still a thing, I really can’t afford that and without the check up my GP will no longer be able to prescribe me my meds.
I’m looking into getting my shared care moved entirely under the NHS but in the meantime if you’d like to help out my paypal is here and my ko-fi is here.
Thank you
Hello it’s me, your tired-but-friendly internet queer who got financially screwed over by an abusive parent and could really use some help!
Not to go into it too much, but escaping from an abusive situation doesn’t always mean escaping from the damage that person has and will continue to cause you if it’s within their control to screw your life up more.
Anyway, I’m trying to manage a sudden and horrible situation which is going to cost me upwards of £5k, but right now I’ve given as much as I can towards that cost to keep them off my back while I work out what the hell to do with payday too far away and no idea how much trouble this is going to end up causing me.
I’m barely managing to keep my mental health together and I have two cats to feed and the price of literally everything has skyrocketed, so I could really use some help just trying to keep my head above water.
If you can’t or don’t want to help, this is not for you, I promise. If you do and are able, my ko-fi is here or my PayPal is here, I don’t have cashapp or venmo because I’m in the UK, but if you want to talk anything through with me first that’s more than okay. Also I am open to pictures of pets and other cute things.
I’m going to drink some tea, try not to scream, and remind myself that one day he finally won’t be able to have any impact on my life anymore.
Thanks for reading
On top of this I now have to pay £180 under my shared care agreement (private diagnosis so I have to pay for my annual checkups.)
Since the above situation is very much still a thing, I really can’t afford that and without the check up my GP will no longer be able to prescribe me my meds.
I’m looking into getting my shared care moved entirely under the NHS but in the meantime if you’d like to help out my paypal is here and my ko-fi is here.
Thank you
Hello it’s me, your tired-but-friendly internet queer who got financially screwed over by an abusive parent and could really use some help!
Not to go into it too much, but escaping from an abusive situation doesn’t always mean escaping from the damage that person has and will continue to cause you if it’s within their control to screw your life up more.
Anyway, I’m trying to manage a sudden and horrible situation which is going to cost me upwards of £5k, but right now I’ve given as much as I can towards that cost to keep them off my back while I work out what the hell to do with payday too far away and no idea how much trouble this is going to end up causing me.
I’m barely managing to keep my mental health together and I have two cats to feed and the price of literally everything has skyrocketed, so I could really use some help just trying to keep my head above water.
If you can’t or don’t want to help, this is not for you, I promise. If you do and are able, my ko-fi is here or my PayPal is here, I don’t have cashapp or venmo because I’m in the UK, but if you want to talk anything through with me first that’s more than okay. Also I am open to pictures of pets and other cute things.
I’m going to drink some tea, try not to scream, and remind myself that one day he finally won’t be able to have any impact on my life anymore.
Thanks for reading
On top of this I now have to pay £180 under my shared care agreement (private diagnosis so I have to pay for my annual checkups.)
Since the above situation is very much still a thing, I really can’t afford that and without the check up my GP will no longer be able to prescribe me my meds.
I’m looking into getting my shared care moved entirely under the NHS but in the meantime if you’d like to help out my paypal is here and my ko-fi is here.
Thank you
Hello it’s me, your tired-but-friendly internet queer who got financially screwed over by an abusive parent and could really use some help!
Not to go into it too much, but escaping from an abusive situation doesn’t always mean escaping from the damage that person has and will continue to cause you if it’s within their control to screw your life up more.
Anyway, I’m trying to manage a sudden and horrible situation which is going to cost me upwards of £5k, but right now I’ve given as much as I can towards that cost to keep them off my back while I work out what the hell to do with payday too far away and no idea how much trouble this is going to end up causing me.
I’m barely managing to keep my mental health together and I have two cats to feed and the price of literally everything has skyrocketed, so I could really use some help just trying to keep my head above water.
If you can’t or don’t want to help, this is not for you, I promise. If you do and are able, my ko-fi is here or my PayPal is here, I don’t have cashapp or venmo because I’m in the UK, but if you want to talk anything through with me first that’s more than okay. Also I am open to pictures of pets and other cute things.
I’m going to drink some tea, try not to scream, and remind myself that one day he finally won’t be able to have any impact on my life anymore.
Thanks for reading
On top of this I now have to pay £180 under my shared care agreement (private diagnosis so I have to pay for my annual checkups.)
Since the above situation is very much still a thing, I really can’t afford that and without the check up my GP will no longer be able to prescribe me my meds.
I’m looking into getting my shared care moved entirely under the NHS but in the meantime if you’d like to help out my paypal is here and my ko-fi is here.
Thank you
Hello it’s me, your tired-but-friendly internet queer who got financially screwed over by an abusive parent and could really use some help!
Not to go into it too much, but escaping from an abusive situation doesn’t always mean escaping from the damage that person has and will continue to cause you if it’s within their control to screw your life up more.
Anyway, I’m trying to manage a sudden and horrible situation which is going to cost me upwards of £5k, but right now I’ve given as much as I can towards that cost to keep them off my back while I work out what the hell to do with payday too far away and no idea how much trouble this is going to end up causing me.
I’m barely managing to keep my mental health together and I have two cats to feed and the price of literally everything has skyrocketed, so I could really use some help just trying to keep my head above water.
If you can’t or don’t want to help, this is not for you, I promise. If you do and are able, my ko-fi is here or my PayPal is here, I don’t have cashapp or venmo because I’m in the UK, but if you want to talk anything through with me first that’s more than okay. Also I am open to pictures of pets and other cute things.
I’m going to drink some tea, try not to scream, and remind myself that one day he finally won’t be able to have any impact on my life anymore.
Thanks for reading
On top of this I now have to pay £180 under my shared care agreement (private diagnosis so I have to pay for my annual checkups.)
Since the above situation is very much still a thing, I really can’t afford that and without the check up my GP will no longer be able to prescribe me my meds.
I’m looking into getting my shared care moved entirely under the NHS but in the meantime if you’d like to help out my paypal is here and my ko-fi is here.
Thank you
