it’s a lucky thing the timeline of the hobbit and the lord of the rings works the way it does because if merry and pippin and kili and fili existed in the same story, they would be an unstoppable force. not against sauron. just in general.
my favorite scene in LotR as a kid was when Sam started miserably freestyling in the tower of Cirith Ungol and the only reason he ever found Frodo was because he deliriously tried to join in
…i did read some of the novels, but i couldn’t get through them entirely…
…and so i genuinely have no idea whether or not this is serious. coz i mean, obviously, it could be a joke. but it could also have legitimately happened. people who have only seen the films underestimate the amount of random things that happen in the books that could come off as utterly silly and ridiculous if removed from their context.
Haha, well, it is pretty much what happens. Sam is looking for Frodo in the tower of Cirith Ungol and is despairing that he will ever find him. He sits down and does what any self-respecting Tolkien character does during their moments of hopelessness and bursts into song.
It’s a really good song (ten year old Ship had it memorized) and as he begins the refrain a second time, he hears Frodo’s voice answering weakly from above. Frodo is poisoned and despairing and beaten but he is still a Hobbit and cannot resist a singalong even while on the brink of death.
How DARE Tolkien omit in the final draft the information that the traditional hobbit marriage custom is to have unspoken vibes for years and then disappear without explanation for an indeterminate length of time!?
funniest thing in the lord of the rings is how no one can kill gollum because whenever they get close they’re like “oh my god he’s so pathetic and ugly i can’t bear to fucking look at him. jesus christ.” so they just imprison him and then he slips through the fucking bars like a looney tunes character. and this happens multiple times.
sometimes i think about how tolkien said golf exists in middle earth and then just never mentioned it again ever
Tolkien invented the absolute sickest and funniest backstory for the game of golf I’ve ever seen and then had none of his characters play or talk about golf in any of his works. the nerve
So nobody was gonna tell me Lee Pace is bi and Luke Evans is gay huh?
That scene in the third Hobbit film where Thranduil and Bard and Gandalf are all hanging out in a tent? I just had to realize it was a tent of men who love men all by myself huh
My boyfriend has to go to the ren fair for work but i can come and he wanted to do a matching costume. He was like “I want to be Frodo” and I was like “oh cool I can be Shelob” which was, apparently, not the couples costume he was thinking of
I was like “babe she has the most screen time of any woman in Return of the King” and my boyfriend was like “that cannot be true,” looked it up, and said “i can’t believe that’s true”
finally a strong female character who doesn’t shave her legs
my favorite scene in LotR as a kid was when Sam started miserably freestyling in the tower of Cirith Ungol and the only reason he ever found Frodo was because he deliriously tried to join in
…i did read some of the novels, but i couldn’t get through them entirely…
…and so i genuinely have no idea whether or not this is serious. coz i mean, obviously, it could be a joke. but it could also have legitimately happened. people who have only seen the films underestimate the amount of random things that happen in the books that could come off as utterly silly and ridiculous if removed from their context.
Haha, well, it is pretty much what happens. Sam is looking for Frodo in the tower of Cirith Ungol and is despairing that he will ever find him. He sits down and does what any self-respecting Tolkien character does during their moments of hopelessness and bursts into song.
It’s a really good song (ten year old Ship had it memorized) and as he begins the refrain a second time, he hears Frodo’s voice answering weakly from above. Frodo is poisoned and despairing and beaten but he is still a Hobbit and cannot resist a singalong even while on the brink of death.
BOROMIR DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER! TOLKIEN IF UR READING THIS, UR MUM IS A HOE! AN ABSOLUTE THOT! IN FACT, YOU ARE ALSO AN ABSOLUTE THOT, TOLKIEN! I AM MAD. VERY MAD.
HE STILL PROTECTED MERRY AND PIPPIN, KNOWING DAMN WELL THAT HE WOULD PROBABLY DIE!
THE FATHER FIGURE!!! SAY IT WITH ME EVERYONE!!! THE FATHER FIGURE!!!! SO MANY ADORABLE MOMENTS WITH MERRY AND PIPPIN!!!!
SHOUTOUT TO THIS BEAUTIFUL SCENE! IT TRULY CAPTURES BOROMIRS UNDERATED BEAUTY!!! THE FALL LEAVES- EVERYTHING!
HE DIDNT TAKE ONE ARROW- BUT THREE F U C K I N G ARROWS FOR MERRY AND PIPPIN!!!!
KING OF WISE ASS WORDS!!! SO THOUGHTFUL- SO WONDERFUL!
i’m still sad about his death. if you couldn’t tell by my aggressive words. anyways i’m an activist for boromir rights ✊
Truly, there isn’t enough of this concept on Tumblr! Thranduil is jaded, yes, but what if he found a person to make him happy again? Like just imagine him finally feeling unconditional love again. He would totally be so sweet to whoever the person is…maybe even putting aside their differences if they are human, dwarf, etc. And Legolas- imagine how he would feel- to finally see his father smile genuinely again. The elves of mirkwood would notice the change; it would just be this amazing thing! I encourage more writers (and readers) to follow along on a FLUFFY THRANDUIL JOURNEY :-)
Y/N watched as Elrond left Mirkwood. It was a bittersweet moment, but it was for the best. She needed to stay in Mirkwood to ease tension and create peace.
Thranduil came beside her and put his hand on the small of her back. She smiled up at him shyly.
“So you are here to be apart of my council, correct?”
“Yes. Elrond wanted me to stay here in order to help with your mood and people.”
Thranduil chuckled, despite the fact that he disapprove of what Elrond said. It was true. “Well I don’t have any meetings planned soon, so we should be okay with my mood for today.”
Y/N laughed and took his arm in a friendly manor. Elrond had already informed Thranduil that she was rather affectionate. The pair moved with grace as they walked away from the stables in which Elrond had departed.
“Why don’t you show me around the gardens? That was always one of my favorite parts of Mirkwood. They are unbeatable.”
He smiled at the genuine compliment. “As you wish.”
Thranduil led her to the gardens. While on the way, he charmed her with his stories. Admittedly, he was quite funny and down to middle earth at times. Y/N and Thranduil’s conversation easily flowed.
Y/N was just as amicable as Thranduil. And just as he had charmed her, she charmed him. Y/N was quite adorable in his eyes. Sure, she was not your stereotypical half elf. It was very out of character for Thranduil to fall for someone like her. Normally, he frowned upon half elves.
Alas, Y/N was enchanting. She already had Thranduil and Legolas wrapped around her little finger without even realizing that. Y/N held onto Thranduil, head on his shoulder. It was a pleasant feeling for Thranduil. Affection had been rare for him ever since his wife died.
“Thank you for taking care of Legolas when I couldn’t.”
Y/N smiled up at him. “Of course. He is like my own kin.”
“I’ve noticed. He even calls you Naneth.”
“Yes…he always did that as a child and continues to now. I cannot recall the last time he has called me by my actually name.”
“He is very fond of you.”
“Legolas and I are very close. It seems that sometimes I already know what he is going to say before he even opens his mouth.” Y/N agrees
“Tis good to know that there was someone there for him.”
“Well, now that I’m staying here forever, according to Legolas, someone will undoubtedly be here for him!” Y/N jokes
Thranduil and Y/N laugh. He holds the gate open to the gardens. Y/N thanks him and walks inside. Her eyes darted to her two favorite plants.
“Alfirin and Elanor!” she exclaims
Kneeling beside the plants, she smells them. Her eyes close and she grins. Thranduil was entertained by her reaction.
“Are those your favorites, bunny?”
She blushes at the nickname. “Yes, they smell wonderful and are quite beautiful. When Legolas was young, I would braid his hair with these flowers. They are our favorite.”
Thranduil smiles. “Mine as well.”
He sits down on a nearby bench. Observing her was an activity he was learning to enjoy.
“May I pick a few?”
“Yes, you may.”
After having a handful of them, she skipped back over to him. Plopping down beside him, she smirked up at him expectantly.
“What is it, bunny?”
“Can I braid your hair?”
He stares down at her, considering his options. She stares back at him and begins to pout. Her bottom lip sticks out.
“Pweaseeeeeeeeee Thranduil?”
“Agh, fine!” He submits, rolling his eyes
Y/N cheers. She takes his palms and fills them with flowers. The crown was placed beside him.
“First, I must French braid your hair. The flowers can wait!”
“You know, I already have flowers in my crown.” Thranduil says
Y/N rolls her eyes. “No silly, you aren’t wearing your crown! Not with my beautiful braid!”
“Akingwithout his crown?”
“Yes!”
Y/N’s gentle fingers pulled through his hair. It was silky smooth and lacked knots. Thranduil moaned as she tugged on one of the strands. Both went red in the face. It was a rather awkward situation. And Y/N did not like that.
“My sincerest apologies Thranduil. I have forgotten how sensitive elves can be when you pull on their hair.”
Thranduil said nothing in reply. Y/N began to section out his hair. Piece by piece, it came together. Finally, she completed the French braid.
“Could you tilt your head back for a moment, facing me?”
Thranduil tilts his head back. Y/N surveys his face, making sure there are no stragglers. She giggles at his serious expression.
“Lighten up Thranduil!”
“Lighten up?”
“It’s a figure of speech.”
“Figure of speech?”
“Ah, nevermind! Give me the flowers, please.”
He holds his palms out. She takes an Elanor and threads it into the braid. Before running out of flowers, she took the last two and stuck one behind each ear.
Y/N takes Thranduil’s hand and makes him stand up. A blush appeared on his face as she leaned up and kissed his cheek.
“You look wonderful Thranduil. Just like the elven king that you are.”
“Thank you, Y/N.”
She takes his arm and his crown. They walk to the palace, talking quietly amongst themselves. Though Y/N’s laughter echoed through the kingdom.
The staff was just preparing for dinner as they walked inside. An eager Legolas greeted Y/N exuberantly. She smiled, hugging him.
“Hello Legolas. How was your day?”
“It is even better, now that I have seen you!”
Y/N elbows Thranduil. “What do you think of the hair? Do a spin for us!”
Thranduil rolls his eyes, but does a spin. Legolas and Y/N laugh. It was a demoralizing situation for the other party.
“It reminds me of how you used to do my hair as a child. I love it.”
“Yes, that is why I snuck a few extra flowers in the crown. It was so big that I could fit them in here!” Y/N exclaims. “Now it’s time to do your hair, Legolas!”
“That sounds great.” He says, taking Y/N’s hand
Thranduil followed behind, watching the two interact. It fascinated him to see how close Legolas got with Y/N. He couldn’t remember the last time he had received a hug, or even a praise from his son.
Y/N was Legolas’s old childhood babysitter. Thranduil becomes infatuated with her quickly.
—
Thranduil x Y/N
—
Naneth! pt.1
Elrond and Y/N entered the kingdom of Mirkwood. She smiled softly, thinking of fond memories with the prince.
“Are you happy to be here?” Elrond inquires
“Very. Though I’m afraid Legolas may not remember me, as it has been long since I’ve travelled here.”
Elrond shook his head. “Legolas could never forget someone as extraordinary as you, Y/N.”
When Legolas was a small child and teenager, Y/N would often babysit him. Though never formally meeting Thranduil, she took care of his son like her own. Elrond had recommended Y/N and Thranduil trusted his word.
Soon, Y/N was the only caretaker Legolas ever wanted as a child. He would refuse to have anyone else watch over him as his father was gone on important missions.
Though as he grew up, her visits became less frequent. Their relationship faded over the centuries. But now, Y/N was back again.
Hope filled Y/N’s doe eyes. “Thank you, Elrond. We will just have to see how well I get along with King Thranduil.”
Elrond chuckles. “He’ll come around even if he doesn’t fancy you when you first meet”
A few guards noticed their arrival and bowed. Elrond nodded respectfully and asked for directions to the stables. The guards offer to take their horses so that they could travel on foot to the palace.
Elrond and Y/N dismounted their horses and walked through the village of Mirkwood. A charming place, it was!
“It’s just as I remember it.” Y/N says fondly
Elrond and Y/N locked arms as they walked through the village. They were incredibly close friends. Both knew that their relationship was nothing but platonic, and it was clear to everyone around them as well.
Y/N’s smile grew as they began to walk up the palace steps. She lifted her skirt with her free hand. Once reaching the top, Elrond greets the palace guards. They opened the doors for the two and they walked inside.
Legolas was the first to notice their presence. Without a second thought, he yelled “Naneth!” and ran to her. Thranduil perked up at the name, and turned around to face Y/N.
She opened her arms wide for him to crash into. Legolas nearly made Y/N fall from their impact. She laughed and held him close. His lanky arms encased her curvy body tightly.
Elrond approached Thranduil. Their quiet discussion had begun.
“Y/N hasn’t been here in centuries.”
Thranduil nods. “Yes. And it seems that she and Legolas are rather close.”
Elrond smiles. “It broke Y/N’s heart to not see Legolas, but she knew she had to let him go. He was very attached to her.”
“I can see that. He even calls her mother.”
Elrond freezes up slightly, looking over at Thranduil’s face. It had a melancholic expression as he studied the two closely.
“Y/N was the closest thing to a mother little Legolas had.” Elrond says boldly
“Hello, my dear Legolas. You’ve grown a whole foot since I last saw you!”
He lifted her into his arms and spun her around. Y/N couldn’t help the giggles that fell out of her mouth.
“And you’re as short as ever!” He teased
Y/N nodded. “Yes, the perk of being half human!”
“Why didn’t you come back, Naneth?” Legolas asked, a frown on his face
She smiled sadly. “You didn’t need me anymore, silly. You were plenty old enough to take care of yourself!”
He crosses his arms. “No! You were the best…and I really could’ve used your advice throughout my youth and even now. Naneth, you are staying here forever!”
Y/N laughed. “We will see, Legolas.”
Elrond clears her throat. Y/N goes red, realizing she hadn’t acknowledged Thranduil.
She curtsied at the two kings. “Hello, King Thranduil. I am Y/N. My apologies for not greeting you sooner.”
Thranduil motioned for her to come nearer. She stepped forward, a few feet away from him. He took her hand and kissed it gently, never breaking eye contact.
“Ah, a charmer I see.” She teases gently, a spark of playfulness in her eyes
“Something like that.” He smirks
Legolas and Elrond shared a look. Never had they seen Thranduil so friendly before. Y/N assumed it was normal, as she had never met Thranduil before.
“Hey Naneth, I want to show you around the castle again. My shot has gotten much better after all of this time!” Legolas exclaims
Y/N looks over at Elrond. He smiles and motions for her to join Legolas.
“It was a pleasure meeting you, Thranduil.” She says respectfully
“You as well, Lady Y/N.”
Legolas took her hand. Y/N followed after the very eager Legolas. It reminded her of when he was a small child, always wanting to show her something. He was a very curious elf and loved Y/N so dearly; therefore she was the one he used to always show things to.
“Any ladies in your life, Legolas?”
He sighs. “I’m afraid not. The one who I loved fell for someone else.”
She squeezed his hand sympathetically. “Oh, that is awful!”
Legolas took her into his secluded shooting range. She sat at a bench and watched as he grabbed his bow and arrows. Y/N laughed.
“Do you recall that little bow you used to use? It was always too big for you when you were around 9 years old. You were so eager to learn that you dropped it on your foot, for it was too heavy. Then you couldn’t walk on your foot for the rest of the week!”
He laughed. “I remember that!”
Once knocking an arrow back, he inhaled. It was completely silent where they sat.
Y/N was good at studying people without saying much. After exhaling, he let the arrow go. It flew to the target, landing right on the bullseye. Y/N clapped, pleased at Legolas’s work.
“You have improved so much! Even when you were 15 you couldn’t make that shot!” She praised
Legolas blushed. “Thank you, Naneth.”
Y/N was surprised that he continued to call her mother, even at his age. But then again, he was incredibly close to her so it made sense. In Legolas’s eyes, Y/N could do absolutely no wrong.
Elrond and Thranduil watched from a distance. They stood on a balcony and spoke softly to each other.
“She’s beautiful.” Thranduil admits
Elrond smiles. “Very. Inside and out. Y/N is one of the kindest human-elves I have ever met.”
“She doesn’t have many elven features, other than the ears.”
“Yes, she looks more human. Nevertheless, her mom and dad were only ½ elves as well. That explains why she only carries elven ears. But if we are being honest, she’s acts more elf than human.”
“If she has been staying with you for the past 3,000 centuries, I believe it. Did you say she was around 4,000 years old?”
Elrond’s brow quirked. “Do you wish to court her?”
“Maybe.” Thranduil muses
Elrond was surprised, but masked it. “Yes, she is around there. Her parents died when she was 1,000 years old.”
“That is very young…”
Elrond looks over at Y/N pityingly. “It was long ago. She recovered and became one of my best members of my council. And now, I shall give her to you.”
Thranduil was confused. “Do you mean that my own council is poorly run?”
Elrond was quick to defend himself. “No Thranduil. But I know that sometimes it is hard for you to be relaxed, and Y/N is very calming. Not only is she easy on the eyes, but is wise and works with the people. She is fantastic at sorting out issues and working through them peacefully.”
“Well then she will fit perfectly with my council.”
“I will be sad to see her gone, but it was in my vision for her to be with you. It is for the best.”
Thranduil was intrigued. “Did you see anything else?”
Elrond only smirked. “All I have to say is be kind to her. She will be very important for your future.”
Both shifted their gaze to Y/N. She was currently encouraging Legolas to split his arrow in half with another.
“C’mon Legolas, show me some real skill! Be dangerous!!” She yells
He chuckles. “I know my father said not to but…”
“Legolas and Y/N!”
Y/N turned red and spun around obediently. Legolas also turned around, bow and arrow pointed at the ground.
“Don’t you break anymore arrows Legolas! We have gone over this.” Thranduil yells exasperatedly
Legolas snorted, turned around, and shot the arrow. Y/N bit her lip, attempting to stifle the giggle.
A/N: first post everyone! leave a request or comment if you please, but most of all enjoy babies!
—
Lindir x Reader
—
Stay Away From My Girl
Lindir’s attempts at hiding his disgust for the dwarves were…fleeting. Y/N bared an amused expression, looking over at Lindir. Gandalf went on about how they were descendents of the House of Durin.
Though Y/N, Elrond, and Lindir were not impressed. Not in the slightest.
“An interesting group, I suppose.” Y/N muses
Lindir’s nostrils flare. “I’ll say.”
“You’re going to need to cleanse that water in the fountain, Elrond.” Y/N teases
Elrond shakes his head, smiling brightly. “Oh, we will have to do more than that my dear Y/N.”
Their conversation was interrupted by one of the dwarves standing on top of the table. Y/N felt Lindir tense up and snorted. Smoke practically rose from Lindir’s pointed elven ears.
The dwarves began to sing their tipsy songs and throw food. Y/N chuckled and clapped along. She soon realized that was a mistake as the lead singing dwarf took her hand.
Y/N was deeply humored as the dwarf took her by the waist and danced with her. Unlike the other elves, she was rather short. At a very approachable 5’2, she came off as less intimidating and very amicable.
The girl playing the harp, as well as the other girl playing the flute had stopped long ago. Y/N chuckled as the small dwarf spun her around. Her simple yet stunning dress swished about. A complete contrast to the dwarves food and alcohol covered outfits.
Lindir watched enviously. He could not believe his own elven eyes!
Y/N?
Dancing with old beardy over there?
Oh Heavens no!
Lindir’s lips curled and his nose scrunched up. Y/N’s delicate fingers should have never touched that dwarves dirt caked stubby ones. Her hair swayed as he danced her.
“Lindir,” Elrond warns gently, sensing his companions fury
At this point, no words or encouragement would put a dent in Lindir’s anger. Not only had they drank all the wine, swam naked in the sacred pool, but they took his girl! His jaw tightened, as well as his grip around his goblet.
Lindir and Y/N had been each other’s lovers since they were young, foolish elves. Maybe about 14? A lot had changed since then, but their love forever remained true. Once elves fall, they fall hard. And boy oh boy did Lindir and Y/N.
But neither have committed to their feelings or obvious needs for affections. They were busy elves! Working under Elrond was no easy job. Dissmissing their feelings for each other was only natural.
“Who taught you to dance?” She teased the dwarf
“Us dwarves have a natural talent for dance and seduction!” He gloated
“Oh yes, I am sure!” She agreed
Y/N felt that she was being stared at. A certain elf was not pleased with this situation. Her eyes widened as a potato soared right beside his head.
Y/N tried not to laugh. She really did! But it was just so…ridiculous! A soft giggle escaped your lips at Lindir’s expense. He glared tensely over at her.
“Why Lindir, why don’t you just get Lady Y/N and leave!” Gandalf says
“Yes, we have it under control.” Elrond agrees
Lindir huffs and sits up from his position at the table. Careful to dodge any incoming food, he intervenes in their dancing. Without saying anything, he takes her hand and yanks her away from the dwarves and elves.
Staring down at the dwarf, he resists the urge to kick him. “Don’t ever touch my Y/N again.”
Gandalf and Elrond shared a look. Both chuckled and waved off Lindir, knowing fully well that Y/N would be able to tame him. She always did.
Y/N protested as they left the dinner. She was having fun, after all! Dwarves kept her very entertained, as their arrogance and stories were always comical and exaggerated.
“Lindir, stop pulling on my hand and tell me what is wrong!”
Lindir was furious. “You want me to tell you what is wrong?!”
She puts her hands on her hips and nods. “That’s why I asked.”
“That little thing danced with you and held onto your hands and waist like it was his own property! Those creatures bathed in our sacred fountains as if it were a public bath! Did you not notice the wine that dripped from his beard as he danced with you?!”
Y/N rolls her eyes. “Listen Lindir, they are called dwarves, okay? You have no right to undermine them as if they are meaningless. And also, I was having fun with the dwarves!”
Lindir came dangerously close to her. “Fun?”
Y/N was trapped against the palace wall. They were in a rather secluded area. No guards patrolled this part of the castle luckily, so nobody would see their moment.
“Yes Lindir…fun.” She mocks, attempting to walk away from him. “You should indulge in it sometime. Now I will be going back-“
Lindir grabbed her hands and gently braved her against the wall once again. He pressed up against her and towered over her petite figure. Anxious at the closeness, Y/N squirmed beneath him.
“Stop squirming, melleth.”
Heat rose to Y/N’s cheeks. “Melleth?”
He smiled, bending down slightly to rest his forehead against hers. “You have been mine since we were 14. Every elf with their head screwed on right would know that.”
Now that explains why nobody had ever tried to court her before! It was because of Lindir being…protective. Y/N would also be lying if she said she wasn’t also rather protective of him. No other female had dared to test her.
“And you are mine as well, Lindir.”
She knits her hands in his hair. Gently, she pulls his head down. His deep eyes stare back at her own. She smiled and kisses the tip of his redened nose.
Lindir’s lips were soft and completely unexpected. Y/N’s eyes widened at the sudden form of affection. Though, she was not complaint.
His hair was silky smooth. She tugged on his small fishtail braids. A pleasured groan left his lips.
And he smelled incredibly good! Like an evergreen tree and vanilla. It was like a drug to Y/N, and she just couldn’t get enough.
Y/N was hardly aware of his hands sneaking around her waist until he instructed her to jump. Y/N wrapped her legs around his own waist, nuzzling her forehead into his neck.
“And so it has finally happened!” Gandalf exclaims happily
Elrond nodded approvingly, a smug look on his face.
“I’ll bet their plan all along was to make me jealous.” Lindir says, rolling his eyes
Y/N giggles. “That’s my sassy elf!”
—
A/N: hope you all enjoyed…and sorry if you aren’t short, haha!
p.s. i’ll leave a link to the video that this is somewhat inspired by! it’s a bonus scene :-)
