Summary: In the blink of an eye, this complete stranger suddenly became your only lifeline.
Pairing:Bucky x y/n
Word Count:4k
Warnings:Language
Author’s Note: So, I’m not dead. To any new followers I’ve gained since my last post, welcome, thank you and sorry for my unbelievably crap posting schedule. To all my old followers, thank you for sticking around, I appreciate you v much. Hope this story is alright, just trying to get back into the swing of things with a quick oneshot. Love y’all.
—
Same nose, similar ears. The ears usually give it away. But then, one redhead and one blonde? Maybe they’re- shit, a kiss. Didn’t guess in time. Damn, I am not doing well today, won’t be breaking my record streak anytime soo-
‘You alright?’
You snapped back to reality, eyes flicking away from the front window to focus on the broad man who’d appeared on the opposite side of the counter.
‘Hmm, what?’ It took a good few seconds for you to remember where you were. ‘Yeah, sorry, what can I get you?’
He tried to suppress the deep chuckle vibrating through his chest. ‘Black coffee, two sugars.’
‘Something funny?’
‘No, just uh-’ he glanced away for a second, embarrassed, obviously not registering your playful tone, ‘that’s the third time I asked. You must’a been miles away.’
While he was hesitating, you’d taken a quick second to scan your eyes him. He was wearing a pair of old, worn-out jeans and a dark jacket, an outfit you wouldn’t have looked twice at if it weren’t for the single, black leather glove that covered his left hand. Your eyebrows scrunched slightly in confusion when you spotted it, then quickly relaxed again when you decided to write it off as some kind of odd fashion statement. He couldn’t have been too late into his thirties, but his right hand was calloused and weathered, so much so that it looked as though should’ve belonged to someone twice his age. His rough stubble obviously hadn’t been touched with a razor for a good few days and you weren’t entirely confident he’d showered this week yet, somehow, he was kinda pulling it off.
You shuffled towards the coffee machine to start his order. ‘Sorry, I was just thinking.’
‘Anything worth sharing?’
‘Not really, I was just playing a stupid game. Helps pass the time when it’s slow.’
He shrugged slightly, a faint smile appearing as he replied. ‘I like games.’
You were quiet for a second, trying to size this stranger up. His eyebrows slowly crept up his forehead in anticipation.
‘It’s gonna sound weird, but sometimes I like trying to guess what kinda relationship people have before they give it away.’ You knew you were coming across crazy even as the words were leaving your lips. ‘Like, those two holding hands outside? At first I thought maybe they were brother and sister. Same ears.’
He quickly glanced at them over his shoulder. ‘You do that all day? Surely most people aren’t hard to figure out.’
‘You’d think so,’ you leaned in and tried your best to maintain a sincere expression, ‘but every so often you come across a couple with a huge age gap and it rocks your damn world.’
A rumbling laugh escaped from his throat which set you off giggling as you secured the lid of his takeout cup and placed in front of him.
‘Two fifty.’
He grabbed the drink with his gloved hand and rustled around in his pocket with the other, eventually pulling out a crumpled five dollar note and sliding it across the counter.
‘Keep the change,’ he quickly clocked your stunned expression, ‘for the entertainment.’
‘Wow, thanks. Have fun playing.’
‘I definitely will.’
You kept your eyes glued to him as he strode through the door and past the front window, only realising after he was out of sight that a wide, giddy grin had settled itself on your face.
Stupid, there was no way a guy like that was single.
—
It’d been over a week and you’d almost forgotten your interaction with the handsome stranger. Heavy footsteps trudged over the threshold and became louder as they headed in your direction, but you didn’t look up from the coffee stain you were furiously trying to scrub off the counter. Absolutely nothing had gone your way today, and your frustrations had been made even worse by a string of asshole customers, so this was a war you refused to lose.
A weathered set of fingers came to rest a few inches away from the brown-tinged battleground.
‘You were right.’ You swiftly lifted your gaze, your heart leaping slightly when his shining blue eyes met yours. ‘I saw a couple in the park the other day, and I swear she must’ve been twice his age, so I thought she was his mom. Then…’
‘Then?’
He leaned in slightly, eyes wide. ‘They started making out.’
‘Wild, right? I told you.’
‘My world was pretty rocked.’
You chuckled, pushing yourself upright and moseying over to the coffee machine. ‘Black coffee, two sugars?’
‘Mhmm.’ He seemed a little nervous as he cleared his throat and ran his hands over his jeans. ‘I’m James, by the way. Friends call me Bucky.’
‘What should I call you?’
The corner of his mouth twitched slightly. ‘Whatever you want.’
‘Deal,’ you emptied two sachets of white sugar into his cup, ‘I’m y/n. Just y/n.’
There was a short silence. You noticed his jeans, the same pair he’d been wearing on his last visit, had been scrubbed clean. There was a different long sleeved tee poking out from beneath his jacket, but it could’ve easily been mistaken for the same one by a less invested observer. You could tell he’d shaved, and possibly even showered, cause the strong scent of his aftershave was overpowering the stale coffee smell you’d grown so tired of. Maybe he was on his way somewhere special?
‘You got big plans later?’
‘No, just came out for a walk,’ he eyed his cup while you brought it over to the counter, ‘and for the best coffee in the city.’
As you placed it in front of him, you found yourself a little distracted, pondering why on earth he’d groom himself so thoroughly for a walk in the park; lost in deep thought, you completely neglected to release your hand. Bucky instinctively went in for the grab and, very briefly, enclosed your hand in his.
He pulled away and quietly apologised. The encounter was so quick that you could’ve blinked and missed the bolt of excitement that gleamed in his eye- but you saw it.
In an obvious attempt to diffuse some of the tension, he started to root around in his pocket for another crumpled note, but you waved your hand to stop him.
‘On the house.’
‘You sure?’
‘Mhmm,’ you smothered a playful smirk, ‘for the entertainment.’
He smiled and began heading towards the door, but decisively swivelled back round just before he reached it.
‘Would you, maybe, want to grab a drink later? We could play your game together,’ he gestured at the empty counter beside you, ‘might be nice for you to have someone to talk to. Not that I think you’re lonely or anything, I’m sure you’ve got loads of people to talk to, I just meant-’
‘Four.’
‘Four?’
‘I finish at four.’
A grin spread across his face. ‘Great. I’ll see you then.’
—
You checked your phone for what felt like the hundredth time.
4:47
How long should you wait before it becomes pathetic? Did he think you said five?
You audibly sighed, double-checking that the coffee shop door was locked before trudging away down the street. Well, that’s what you get for agreeing to dates with random dudes- he probably got a better offer.
Rummaging around in your bag, eyes firmly glued to the sidewalk, you pulled out your headphones and relished the instant relief when they enclosed your ears and blocked out all the obnoxious sounds of the city. All you wanted to do was get home, put on your ketchup-stained lounge pants and cry in front of a rom-com.
Then something hit your shoulder. Hard.
You snapped your head around to see the person who’d just crashed into you, still running at full speed, seemingly unfazed by the fact he’d almost knocked you off your feet. Out the corner of your eye, you noticed a hoard of other fast moving figures, and suddenly realised that everyone else on the street was running as fast as they could in the same direction.
Incredibly confused, you reached up to slide your headphones off. That’s when you heard it. Distant screaming, gunfire, and a low, consistent thudding like footsteps- but far too loud to belong to any animal you’d ever heard of. You slowly turned on the spot, dreading what you were going to see.
It was worse than you could’ve imagined.
A horrifying, four-legged creature, towering above the rows of shops and apartments, destroying street lamps and trees with every step it took towards you. It was clad in some kind of metal armour and had a face like a lizard without scales or skin.
You wanted to run, but quickly realised you were frozen on the spot. You tried to scream but couldn’t produce anything of worthy volume. All you could do was stand there, faintly whimpering, as death stared you in the face. By the time you noticed the smaller, human-sized beings charging towards you, they were already close enough to get a good shot.
There was a loud electrical crackle, followed by an intense burning pain in your stomach. The shock knocked you to your knees as the edges of your vision darkened, the hot sting travelling through every inch of your body, the sounds of panic around you slowly becoming muffled and distant.
Then everything went dark.
—
Your eyes painstakingly peeled open. The light hanging above you was dim, but the glow it gave out was enough to sting, forcing you back into a pained squint. Your mind was a complete blank and everything was quiet around you as your vision slowly adjusted.
Unfortunately, you were only granted a few seconds of peaceful consciousness before the agony started. It started in your ribs, then slowly seared down your limbs like fire travelling along a trail of gunpowder, trying to find the point of ignition. You panicked as the sensation grew and began frantically scanning your surroundings to find any point of familiarity, but it was no use. You had no idea where the hell you were.
The ceiling above you was faintly stained with patches of damp, some of which had leaked down and formed brown streaks on the peeling wallpaper. There was a small window to your right, the drawn net curtains letting in the faint, yellow light of early evening. To your left, a wide-open door. From your lying position all you could make out was the edge of an old-fashioned looking refrigerator. What was this place?
You tried to move, but anything more than a slight twitch of the fingers sent a pain through you so sharp that it took all the breath from your lungs. It felt like you were lying there, struggling and panicking, for hours before help came.
A figure eventually appeared in the door, rapidly shooting to your side once it realised you were conscious. You blinked rapidly, clearing the tears that had been swelling in your eyes, to see Bucky drop to his knees beside the bed.
‘What the fuck is going on?’ Your voice was almost imperceptibly quiet, the heady mixture of pain and panic suppressing it to a breathy whisper.
‘Just breathe, slowly, try to remember.’
‘Where are we?’
‘Outside the city, somewhere safe.’
‘Safe?’
With that word came a crashing torrent of memories. You remembered the thudding, the creature, the fear. You remembered the approach of death with crushing certainty. Tightly gripping the bed sheets, you searched Bucky’s eyes, pleading with him to reassure you.
‘Am I dead?’
He let a husky chuckle slip through his lips. That brief, gentle display of calm was enough to dampen your panic, if just for a second.
‘No, you’re alive. I managed to get you out of there,’ he glanced down to your stomach, ‘but you are hurt.’
‘How bad is it?’
You sensed some reluctance in him as he hesitated, likely debating the best way to soften the blow. ‘It’ll take some time, but you’re gonna be okay. You just need to rest.’
So many more questions were whipping through your mind. What was that thing? What did ‘outside the city’ mean? Why did this guy, this stranger you’d only met twice, risk his life to remove you from that situation?
That last one seemed the most important to you at the time, so that was the one you asked.
Hints of guilt appeared in his expression. ‘You were still there, in harm’s way, cause of me. Any other day you might’a been home safe, so least I can do is make sure you’re okay.’
Pain was still ringing through your body but his soft, calm voice had managed to soothe you a little. You weren’t sure what to say. It was true, you’d have been halfway home on the subway by that time on a normal day, but you could hardly blame him for that. He couldn’t have known that a colossal amount of shit was about to hit the fan.
‘Well,’ you took deep, shaky breaths as you spoke and tried your best to match his serene energy, ‘this is definitely the weirdest first date I’ve ever been on.’
‘Me too.’
He seemed relieved at your tone, but your line of questioning wasn’t over yet. Besides, talking was distracting you from the pain, so you weren’t willing to give that up anytime soon.
‘How did you get me out of there? How are you not dead?’ That one hit a chord with him, the long, tense silence that followed only broken by you prompting him again for some answers. ‘Who are you, Bucky?’
Once he started to explain, you half-wished you’d never asked. There was no way, in your current state, that you could even begin to wrap your head around all the insane, inconceivable things he started confessing. You could hardly call him a liar, though. Not while his solid metal arm was resting on the bed sheets beside you.
He finally finished and kept his wide eyes fixed on you, silently waiting for your reaction. You swallowed harshly. Any reasonable person would’ve begun eagerly reeling off a list of questions related to his completely unbelievable stories but, for reasons beyond your comprehension, only one thing popped into your mind.
‘You could’ve called.’
He laughed again, louder this time. ‘I was a little busy.’
‘Only would’ve taken a second.’
‘I don’t have your number.’
‘Could’ve googled the coffee shop’s number.’
‘While I was fighting aliens?’
You let your annoyed pretence slip, your mouth curling into a smile. ‘Yes.’
‘Fine, next time we have a date and something comes up, even if it’s huge and world-threatening, I promise I’ll call. Alright?’ You did your best to give him a contented nod, even that slight movement reminding you of the pain he’d been very effectively distracting you from. ‘Now, can I get you anything?’
‘I wouldn’t say no to a hefty dose of drugs.’
‘I’ll get you some painkillers.’ He rose to his feet before opening the top drawer of a small chest near where he’d been kneeling, his hands diving in and beginning to search. ‘I meant to ask, you got any family in the city you want to check up on? I have a phone you can use.’
‘Thanks, but no, I don’t.’
‘Anywhere else?’
‘Nope,’ you curved your mouth into a slightly self-pitying frown as he turned back towards you, ‘it’s just me.’
‘Me too.’
—
Some time passed. It could’ve been a week, could’ve been a month- the days all bled together while you stared at the grim ceiling of that bedroom.
Maybe it was the heaps of painkillers, or maybe it was your brain’s feeble attempt to prevent you spiralling into full breakdown, but the reality of your situation never seemed to properly hit you. The city you lived in was on full, alien-induced lockdown while you were holed up in some crummy apartment miles away with a perfect stranger.
It was like the plot of a Stephen King novel.
Bucky spent a lot of time at your bedside, talking to you and answering any questions you had, emphasising over and over that he’d help you travel anywhere you wanted to go as soon as you felt strong enough. While your painstaking recovery started taking shape, you noticed that you’d begun to develop a deep, genuine trust in him- and maybe something more. You couldn’t exactly blame yourself, this was the man who’d saved your life after all.
This morning, you woke up to a loud clattering in the next room, followed by a hushed string of creative curse words. You had to lock a hand over your mouth to stop yourself laughing too loudly. Slowly, as you settled into consciousness, you found yourself feeling stronger than you’d felt in a long time. Maybe it was finally time for a change of scenery.
You managed to gradually heave yourself up, supporting your feeble body on various items of furniture as you shuffled towards freedom. You eventually reached the doorway and leant yourself against the frame, exhausted.
‘Little help?’
Bucky, who was crouching on the floor of the tiny kitchen area picking up what looked like shards of a ceramic mug, jolted to attention at the sound of your voice. He immediately dropped all the pieces he’d been meticulously collecting and hurried towards you.
‘Woah, what the hell are you doing? You alright?’
‘I’m good, it sounded like you might need a hand.’
He frowned and glanced over your shoulder at the empty bed and the sheets you’d half-dragged across the floor during your weak fumbling. ‘You climbed out of bed for the first time in weeks, ignoring your serious injury that isn’t even close to fully healed yet, to come help me put the coffee on?’
‘Well, when you put it like that…’
‘C’mon,’ he placed a supporting arm around your back, ‘you need to lie back down.’
‘No, please Buck. Being in that room is driving me crazy. Just give me a few minutes.’
He seemed reluctant, but your best puppy-dog eyes managed to sway him.
‘Alright, but you’re staying on the couch. You can’t be on your feet too long.’
He slowly walked you over to the tattered two-seater, setting you down gently before returning to clean up his mess. You took in your surroundings. The place looked exactly how you’d expected, dingy and run-down, a few old pieces of furniture filling the cramped space. You heard the faint sounds of traffic coming through the solitary window and just about felt the warmth coming from a two-bar heater on the opposite side of the room. The whole apartment was just this tiny living space, with a kitchen on the far wall, and the bedroom you’d become so familiar with.
As you adjusted yourself on the lumpy couch, you noticed a sleeping bag neatly folded on the floor beside you, which made you feel a little guilty. You’d been spreading yourself across a comfortable double bed for the past few weeks whilst Bucky had been curling himself up on this poky thing.
After a few minutes, he wandered back over with two steaming mugs of coffee, carefully handing you one and settling himself beside you.
‘About time I was the one making the coffee, huh?’
You smiled slightly whilst blowing on the hot liquid. ‘Black, two sugars?’
‘You got it.’
He obviously thought he was being sneaky, intently watching you whenever your eyes were pointed away, hints of concern penetrating his otherwise relaxed expression. He was like a coiled spring waiting for something terrible to happen, for the mug to slip from your grip and scold your lap, for blood to suddenly rush to your head, causing you to faint and rag-doll onto the floor. Whatever the disaster, he was ready.
His attempts at subtlety didn’t last long, however, as he soon just began asking whether you felt alright every couple of minutes. You didn’t mind though, it was pretty sweet and endearing.
‘I gotta say,’ you kept your eyes fixed on your drink, ‘I’ve never been on a first date that lasted this long before. Gotta be a good sign, right?’
‘I’d say so. I’m sure I’ve been enjoying it more than you, though.’
‘Eh, I’ve had worse dates.’
‘What, worse than being bed bound with a serious injury?’
‘You’ve obviously never used Tinder before.’ His soft laughter prompted a few butterflies to appear in your stomach and, as his gaze returned to yours, you struggled to suppress the feelings that had been slowly growing inside you these past few weeks. ‘To be completely honest, your company’s the only thing that’s kept me going.’
He shifted in his seat awkwardly, the skin around his cheeks reddening slightly as he audibly gulped. Had you misread this? The last thing you wanted to do was make him uncomfortable.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to-’
‘Don’t apologise.’ His voice was soft, regretful, but it seemed to gain a little more confidence for his next statement. ‘I feel the same.’
—
As more time passed, you grew stronger and felt yourself getting closer to Bucky. He began helping you into the front room every morning, where the two of you would while away the days talking, laughing and sitting at the window so you could play your favourite guessing game on the pairs of strangers walking past. He was pretty terrible at it, but that just made it all the more entertaining.
For a while you even found yourself downplaying the extent of your recovery in an effort to extend this time with him, complaining about aches and pains that had actually subsided days ago. You were worried that, after this ordeal was over, he’d decide there was no reason to continue spending time with you.
Eventually, though, you couldn’t pretend anymore. The city was safe again and you were ready to go home.
There was an undertone of sadness, in both of you it seemed, as Bucky helped you through the front door. You’d been able to walk confidently on your own for a while now, but he still insisted on being close in case anything happened. You were almost willing yourself to trip and fall as you made your way down the steep stairs.
He had to drive you through the centre of the city to reach your apartment, the extent of the destruction still evident even after all this time. Numerous roadblocks were in place, some buildings half-destroyed and others gone completely, piles of rubble being the only remaining evidence that they ever existed at all. You couldn’t imagine how the streets must’ve looked in the days following the event.
You saw people still going about their daily lives but, whenever Bucky stopped at a red light and you managed to catch a closer look at their faces, their agitation was obvious. People here were still living in fear, and you could hardly blame them. You were probably going to be doing the same.
The car eventually pulled up outside your ground-floor apartment. You dug around in your bag, the same one you’d been carrying on the day in question, and eventually found your keys. Buck stood in the doorway as you wandered in, half relieved to be home, half trying to fight off a looming depression.
‘You all good?’
‘I think so.’ You unceremoniously threw your bag onto the couch. ‘Thanks for everything, really. I don’t know how I’ll ever pay you back for everything you’ve done.’
‘Just stay safe.’
‘I’ll try my best.’
You thought he looked a little dejected as he nodded and took a couple steps backwards, his reluctance to turn away sparking a faint bolt of confidence in your chest. It was now or never.
Fuck it, you had nothing to lose.
‘I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if you came to check on me every once in a while, though?’
‘Yeah?’ The wind immediately started blowing back through his sails. ‘I mean, I could even take you on a second date, if you wanted. Hopefully the world won’t end this time.’
‘But if it does?’
‘I’ll call.’
The two of you stood opposite each other for a few seconds, smiling in silence, both waiting for the other to make the first move. You took the initiative.
Grabbing a fistful of his shirt, you yanked him towards you, your arms immediately encircling his neck as your lips crashed together. He carefully placed both hands on your back, obviously still worried about the possibility of hurting you. The two of you held that position for what felt like hours.
You found yourself beginning to slowly melt into him, but then something suddenly dawned on you, and you sharply pulled away.
‘I’ve just had a terrible thought.’
You felt him stiffen slightly. ‘What?’
‘What if people who see us in the street together guess we’re brother and sister?’
He chuckled through his words, his body again relaxing against you. ‘I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who does that, but we can always make it obvious that we’re not. Just in case.’
(Italicised wouldn’t let me tag, I remove untaggables after a few attempts but please feel free to resubmit on the form or hit me up if you want me to try again.)
Some of y’all might have forgotten you’re even on my taglist, apologies. If anyone wants to be taken off it please just hit me up, no hard feelings at all :)
Summary: Your agreement was balancing on a knife edge but Bucky just wouldn’t stop pushing
Pairing: College!Bucky x y/n
Word Count: 2k
Warnings:Language, creepy behaviour
Author’s Note: Can’t believe it’s been a week, apologies, I want to post more regularly but just been super tired recently. Anyway I hope everyone is having a v nice week, much love, enjoy this next part!
—
You told Nat you had a date this evening, but you flat-out refused to tell her who with.
When she saw you dressed to the nines in black tie she almost waterboarded you to get the information, but you held firm, insisting that you didn’t want to jinx the evening by giving too much away. There was no way she suspected the truth, but you still got the hell out of your apartment as swiftly as you could- just in case.
Bucky said he’d meet you outside the venue. Your taxi pulled up a little early and you climbed out, feeling your heartbeat in your throat as you hastily walked towards the address he’d given you. You really shouldn’t have been this nervous, it was just a favour, but you couldn’t help getting in your head about your first proper outing together.
Man, this whole friends with benefits situation would be a helluva lot easier if he just stuck to the fucking rules every once in a while.
You turned the final corner and saw the grand-looking building, lit up like a Christmas tree with faint music coming from inside, Bucky casually leaning against the wall outside.
You had to give it to him, that boy could rock a tuxedo.
He started grinning like an idiot as soon as he spotted you, pushing himself upright and prowling towards you like a leopard approaching its prey. Your heart was close to punching clean through your rib cage by the time he was in touching distance.
‘Well would’ya look at that,’ he took both of your hands in his and pulled you towards him, ‘my date doesn’t look half bad.’
The way he said that made some of those feelings you weren’t allowed to have bubble up in your chest, so you quickly had to bag them up and go drown them in the river; you were just here as his friend, you had to keep reminding yourself of that.
‘You can chill out with the date shit, I’m only here to make you look less lonely.’
His hands started to explore the length of your back, fingertips pressing lightly into your skin when they reached your hips. ‘Oh yeah? That’s the only reason you came?’
‘Course. Why, what’re you getting at?’
‘Nothing at all.’ He shot you a wink, moved to your side and offered out his arm. ‘Showtime.’
You audibly gulped before letting him lead you up the stairs.
As soon as the two of you stepped inside, you sensed half the eyes in the room shooting in your direction, some low-level whispers starting as you made your way through the crowd. Bucky obviously had a reputation amongst these people too, because they were staring at you the same as they’d stare at a dress-wearing dog walking in on its hind legs. You’d never felt like such a spectacle.
He guided you over to a bunch of guys standing in a circle, squeezing the two of you into the group and greeting a couple of them with elaborate handshakes. They seemed just as surprised by your presence as the rest of the crowd, a couple of them exchanging confused side-eyes, but they thankfully kept their mouths shut and greeted you politely.
Looking around the sea of tuxedos, you couldn’t help noticing a slight issue.
None of them had dates.
So, either every single other person in the circle had been bailed on this evening, or Bucky had flat-out lied in order to get you here. Why the hell would he do that? Was this some kind of stupid fucking bet?
You’d definitely be having strong words later.
Before long, the group managed to locate some seats, and you couldn’t help noticing that Buck was starting to acting a little weird. He scooched his chair as close to yours as was physically possible and planted an arm firmly around your waist, a position that must’ve been at least little uncomfortable for him but it barely moved all evening.
The two of you obviously had very different ideas about the definition of a friend-date.
Nevertheless, despite his weirdly clingy side coming out, you actually found yourself having a really nice time with Buck and his friends. The drinks and the chat were flowing, you almost started to wonder what the hell you were so worried about coming here.
Then a new member joined the group. He sat directly opposite and just began to flat-out stare at you, his erratically fluttering eyelids and inability to keep his head up straight telling you that he was far more drunk than any of his friends. You tried to ignore him, but he was directly in your eye-line, so your agitated gaze kept inadvertently flicking back his way.
All you could do was just hope he’d fuck off in search of his next drink very soon.
Unfortunately, the seat directly beside you just happened to become free after ten or so minutes, and he pounced as fast as someone in his condition was capable of.
‘Nice to meet you.’
He went in for a handshake. You began to reciprocate but he quickly switched tactics on you, suddenly going to kiss the back of your hand but not quite managing to make contact before you wrenched it away. The laugh he let out at your reaction made you shudder.
Trying to get as far away from this creep as possible, you scooched yourself further into your date’s side, the slight nudge diverting his attention away from his conversation and over to your new seat neighbour.
Even Buck seemed surprised at the state he was in. ‘What time did you guys start?’
‘Dunno,’ the creep gave a sloppy shrug and took a long swig from his beer, ‘a while back.’
‘You think maybe you should slow down?’
He just huffed in response.
You tried to go back to chatting with Bucky’s other friends but, just a few minutes later, you felt a firm tap uncomfortably high on your thigh. By that point you were fully prepared to bust out your wide range of self-defence moves.
You reluctantly turned back to the sloppy drunk, finding his face just a couple inches away from yours, foul whiskey breath spreading over you as he spoke.
‘So, what, you got a magic mouth or something?’
Buck’s keen ears picked that up straight away, cause his head snapped in the direction of the question, arm immediately tightening around you. ‘The hell you say man?’
‘Oh c’mon Barnes, you never stick around, there must be a reason you haven’t ditched this one yet.’ His gaze moved back to you, a look in his eyes that made your skin crawl. ‘You wanna share with the rest of the group, sweetheart?’
This motherfucker was really pushing his luck now.
You went to respond, feeling the venom building in your throat, but Buck got in there just before you.
‘You wanna shut the hell up before I make you?’
Creep leant back, chuckling to himself while holding his hands up in surrender. You hoped that’d be the end of it, but no, this asshole really didn’t know when to quit.
‘No need to get so defensive over a piece of ass.’
Bucky shot up from his seat, shoulders squared and fists clenched.
As much as you didn’t want a full-on fight happening over your lap, you had to admit to being a little entertained, cause the drunk asshole scrambled out of his chair and shot away so fast he almost left skid marks on the ground. The rest of the group seemed to notice the slight kerfuffle, but Buck calmly sitting back down and reverting his attention to you made them lose interest.
One arm curled round your shoulders while the other hand came to rest softly on your knee. ‘You okay?’
‘Mhmm. No thanks to your friend.’
‘Nah, he’s not my friend, I barely know that asshole.’ His eyes started to vigilantly scan the room behind you. ‘If he comes near you again I might have to do more than scare him.’
You raised an eyebrow at him. ‘S’alright big man, I can handle myself.’
‘I know, but I’m not gonna sit here and let him talk to you like that.’
‘Very noble considering, in this agreement, I am basically just a piece of ass.’
Any trace of triumph quickly fell from his face. He was silent for a few seconds, eyes searching yours while an earnest look you’d never seen before spread over his features. You were actually a little nervous about what was coming next.
He went to open his mouth, but was instantly distracted by a tap on the shoulder. The two of you had some brightly-coloured shots forced into your hands and, just like that, the moment was gone.
You could see Bucky getting progressively more hammered as the night went on, every drink apparently convincing him more and more that you two were the happiest of couples. The possessive arm stayed firmly round you all evening, but he also began kissing you on the side of the head and neck at random intervals, sometimes whispering slightly slurred compliments directly in your ear. It made you giddy every time he did it.
But, as nice as it was, you knew it was dangerous.
There was no way in hell he would ever maintain anything serious with you, so in acting like this he was really leading you on, even if it wasn’t intentional. You were doing your best to stick to his terms despite your feelings, yet here he was just carelessly breaking all of them.
It was getting close to midnight when he stumbled to his feet and sauntered out of the room without a word. You waited a few minutes, figuring he’d probably just gone to piss out the twelve or so beers he’d already necked, but there was no sign of him returning.
You eventually got up with a sigh and headed in the same direction. A few other students directed you out to the front of the building, where you found him swaying side to side in time with the muffled music, having a smoke.
‘You alright?’
He spun round, a wide smile spreading over his face. ‘Am now.’
The cigarette butt was unceremoniously dropped from his fingers as he approached. He wound his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest and kissing you gently.
Usually, being close to him like this made all other thoughts melt from your mind, but you were really struggling to get lost in the moment this time. You just couldn’t ignore the slight unease in your stomach, you had to work out what his game was.
‘So you were worried you’d be the only one without a date, huh?’
His mouth curled into a crafty smile. ‘I might’ve exaggerated a little.’
‘No shit.’ He leaned in again but you put your palms against his chest to stop him. ‘Why am I here, Buck?’
‘So I can show you off.’
What the fuck did that mean?
Apparently not at all picking up on your hints, he decided to dip his head sideways, so he could begin to plant kisses under your jaw.
‘Buck,’ you pushed him away this time and took a small step back, ‘you need to stop.’
Alarm quickly spread across his face. ‘Shit, sorry, what’s wrong?’
‘You’re not my boyfriend, alright? You made that abundantly clear when we started this, but for some reason you’ve been happy to act like we’re the perfect couple all night.’
He nodded apologetically. ‘I get it, I do, I just…’
‘Just what?’ You tried your best not to let your frustration show, but this was like trying to get blood out of a stone.
‘Nothing.’
‘Right, of course.’ You were starting to get a little pissed now. ‘What the hell happened to you Buck? You’re happy to do all this sweet, caring stuff for me but at the first mention of anything remotely serious you just completely close up. What messed you up so bad?’
‘You can’t ask me about that shit while I’m hammered, it’s not fair.’
So there was something, then. Had he lied about having no previous relationships too?
You were so sick of trying to work him out.
It didn’t matter anyway, you knew that as soon as you dug deep enough to find the answer he’d just cast you aside for a new fling. That’s just the kind of guy he was.
‘I’m gonna go home.’
‘No, don’t leave, let’s just have a good night. We can talk about all this shit another time.’
You’d loved to have believed that, but deep down you knew you’d always be waiting for another time with him. The two of you were playing a game you’d never win.
‘I think this was a mistake, Buck.’
‘What, coming here tonight?’
You shook your head slightly before turning away and heading inside to get your things. He didn’t follow you, probably figuring you’d have to face him again when you tried to leave, but you managed to find a back entrance to sneak out of. You called a taxi to take you home, holding back your tears as you waited by the side of the road.
Typical, really, that your shittiest breakup was with someone who’d never even been your boyfriend.
Summary: You assumed that leaving the beach house would mean leaving Bucky behind too.
Pairing: College!Bucky x y/n
Word Count: 2.3k
Warnings:Language
Author’s Note: Apologies this one took so long, in the midst of a fucking global pandemic I somehow managed to get a regular cold and I’ve just been feeling sorry for myself all week.
—
You spend the rest of that last day in a placid haze.
When questioned, you simply explained away your serene mood as the result of a whole weekend relaxing on the beach. A suspicious frown was shot in your direction, but there was no way she could prove you were lying, so you couldn’t have given a fuck.
As you were packing your things, you found yourself wondering whether you’d ever see Bucky again. The two of you lived in the same city, so it would definitely be possible, but you reasoned that a guy like him probably wouldn’t be interested once other girls were readily available. Besides, your flat was too small for you to sneak around without Nat hearing.
You all said goodbye and, with one last mischievous wink, Bucky packed himself into Steve’s car.
—
It was weird, and frankly pretty depressing, going back to your normal grind.
Sitting in class, you found yourself daydreaming about being back on that beach, fingernails tracing down the curve of his back as the sun came up. Your professors caught you smiling with your eyes closed a couple of times, all of them looking spectacularly unimpressed once you came to your senses and reeled off an excuse or two.
You knew that your feelings for Bucky would just dissipate naturally as life dragged on but, for the time being, you couldn’t help being completely hung up on him.
A week passed, then another, and the events of that weekend started to just feel like a story that had happened to someone else.
Nat must’ve noticed you were a little low. She obviously didn’t know why- cause if she did you wouldn’t have received any sympathy whatsoever- so in her blissful ignorance she took it upon herself to cheer you up a little. She set you up on a blind date, and you figured you had nothing to lose.
He was nice.
Just… nice.
In all honesty, you weren’t sure if that was the reason the date wasn’t terrible or the reason it wasn’t great. He wasn’t a jerk or a creep with serial killer eyes but, an hour or so in, you almost found yourself wishing he was just for the excitement of it.
It felt like you were out for a drink with an elderly, dull but well-meaning great uncle. It wasn’t unpleasant, per se, but you weren’t really having fun.
So, naturally, your heart almost leapt out of your chest when you spotted Bucky stroll through the door.
You wouldn’t have been surprised if a crowd of women had pursued him in, but he just seemed to be accompanied by a couple guys you didn’t recognise. They all took a seat at the bar, far enough away from the corner you were nestled in that he wouldn’t easily spot you, but apparently that wasn’t enough of a cover. It was only a few seconds before his keen eyes started scanning every nook and cranny of the room.
He was searching for something, and the look that appeared on his face when he spotted you suggested that he might’ve found it.
You quickly broke eye contact. Dull date was talking about the type of glue they use on postage stamps or something equally as banal, and you tried your best to get engrossed, but you couldn’t stop your eyes from periodically flicking back towards Bucky.
He couldn’t be, could he?
He was, you couldn’t believe it, he was coming over.
The absolute fucking nerve of this guy, you were quite clearly on a date and here he was casually strolling over like a middle aged woman who’s just spotted her friend from book club in the grocery store. Obviously you were incredibly excited to see him again, but there was a time and a place for reunions- and this was not it.
You had no choice but to cut your date off mid-lecture. ‘I apologise in advance for anything that happens in the next few minutes.’
‘You- what? Is everything alri-’
‘Hey sea-legs,’ he planted his beer down on the table and flopped into the chair opposite you, ‘good to see you again.’
‘Mhmm. You too, Buck.’
The most incredibly painful silence settled around the table. A wide set of eyes were darting between you and the date-crasher, obviously sensing some kind of deep tension. Bucky’s gaze was firmly fixed on you while a playful smirk danced over his lips. You just stared blankly at your drink, hoping for some kind of natural disaster.
Your date was the first to pipe up.
‘So…’ The obvious suspicion in his voice made you cringe. ‘How do you two know each other?’
‘Funny you should ask-’
‘Through friends.’ You cut the uninvited guest off with a firm glare. ‘Our friends are dating.’
‘Oh right, that’s nice.’
‘It’s real nice.’ Bucky shot you a blatant wink as he spoke. ‘They’re good together, they help each other out with all kinds of deep stuff… and I’ve heard the sex is incredible.’
Unbelievable.
Dull date was definitely starting to suspect something, but you weren’t exactly surprised, cause Buck’s intense gaze hadn’t wavered from you once since he sat down. You downed the rest of your drink and started to weigh up the risks of faking a heart attack.
Bucky sat forward in his chair, clasping his hands on the table like a police interrogator. ‘So how did you two meet?’
‘It’s quite a funny story, actually.’ Your date was leaning forward now too, trying desperately to insert himself in the middle of whatever atmosphere he was sensing. ‘I was in the library, for no reason in particular, and y/n’s roommate came up to m-’
‘Great story.’
‘Oh, I haven’t got to the good part yet, she-’
‘Man you really don’t know how to take a hint, do you?’
You gave Bucky a look of disbelief. His blatant rudeness had caught you off-guard a little, you’d never experienced him behaving so much like a shameless ass before. His cockiness had been kind of a turn on back at the beach house but, in this context, it was just off-putting.
Maybe this was the real him, the one Nat had warned you about. Maybe he’d left all remnants of the sweet and tender Bucky you remember scattered on the beach like jagged pieces of sea glass.
The three of you fell back into silence.
It was only a few seconds before the rising tension got the better of you, causing you to jump out of your seat with a vague excuse and scurry towards the bathroom, where you collected yourself for a few minutes and fought off the urge to climb through one of the windows.
You eventually built up enough courage to hesitantly venture back into the bar, jumping when you heard a voice from behind you.
‘Those sharks stopped biting yet?’
You eyed him as he waltzed round to stand in front of you, just raising an eyebrow rather than responding- he knew full well it was nothing to do with sharks, he was obviously just trying to get a reaction out of you.
‘Bad joke, got it.’ He buried his hands in the back pockets of his jeans, that familiar knowing smile making an appearance. ‘Your date seems nice.’
You did your best to sound stoked on this painfully boring guy. ‘Yeah, he is, really nice. I’d quite like to get back if that’s alright with you.’
‘Oh, he’s gone. I gave him twenty dollars to get lost and he almost bit my hand off.’
‘He what?’ You strained your neck until you could see your table, where the poor guy was still patiently waiting, looking more than a little confused. ‘Right. Good one. Funny.’
‘Might be the funniest thing you hear all night if you stick with that dead fish.’
He wasn’t wrong, but you weren’t about to admit that. ‘How the hell would you know? You barely even let him speak.’
‘Don’t have to hear a dog bark to know it’s a dog.’ He took a step towards you. ‘Why don’t we blow this place off? I could show you some real fun.’
Ordinarily, you’d have jumped down his throat before he could even finish his sentence, but there was no fucking way were you’d give in to him after how he’d behaved this evening.
‘Tempting,’ you let a thick layer of sarcasm coat your words, ‘but I’ll pass this time.’
‘What about next time?’
You rolled your eyes, pushing past him without giving an answer and heading back towards your table, hoping to god he didn’t follow.
He thankfully returned to his bar stool, but you soon realised he had no intention of letting you escape his gaze. You managed to maintain the date for another hour or so, nodding along to the most soulless stories you’d ever been subjected to, all the while trying to forget about the pair of sinful eyes that were targeting you from across the room.
How the hell had you managed to find yourself sandwiched between two complete polar opposites? If only you could mix them together, they might actually average out to make one pretty normal guy.
You made your excuses and let your date walk you out onto the street, where you gave him a very awkward goodbye hug. You did your best to let him down gently when he suggested meeting up again, but he really wasn’t getting the message at all, so you eventually just had to tell him outright that you weren’t interested. He immediately stormed off.
You pulled out your phone with a sigh, debating whether to spend money on a taxi or risk the streets alone, when someone piped up behind you.
‘Need someone to walk you home?’
You turned your head slightly towards the voice. ‘You’re like a bad smell, Barnes.’
‘Nah, I’m just not a quitter, that’s all.’ He stopped beside you and held his arm out. ‘C’mon, let’s talk.’
You deliberated for a second, eventually giving him a reluctant nod when you reached the conclusion that you really couldn’t afford an Uber. You made a point of ignoring his arm offer before setting off at a hurried pace.
Bucky had to jog to catch up with you. ‘So he seemed pretty pissed, did you break it off?’
‘Mhmm. Not that it’s any of your business.’
‘It is, actually, considering what I wanted to talk about.’
That was enough to shock you into slowing down a little, a suspicious frown creeping across your face. ‘What?’
‘Look, I know Nat gave you the speech about me, and you probably think I’m some nymphomaniac asshole who doesn’t give a fuck about hurting people.’ He paused, as if to give you a chance to object, but you just shot him a look that confirmed his suspicions were accurate. ‘I promise, I’m really not that bad.’
‘You could’ve fooled me, you’ve acted like a proper cunt this evening.’
He could obviously tell you weren’t joking, but he laughed anyway. ‘Hey I could see from across the bar that you weren’t interested in that wet wipe, I was just trying to spice up your evening a little.’
‘I don’t need you to swoop in and fix my love life, thanks.’
‘Alright, that’s fair.’ He rubbed the back of his neck, wincing a little. ‘Sorry, I was out of line, he seemed like a nice guy.’
You gave him a forgiving nod, definitely still pissed but intrigued enough by his intentions to forget it for now. ‘So what is it you want?’
‘Well, I suppose I have an indecent proposal for you.’ Oh Christ, here we go. ‘Hanging out back at the beach house was great and I really like you, but I really suck at relationships. I always fuck them up somehow. I just-’
‘Get to the point, Buck.’
‘Alright, I was basically wondering whether you’d want to come to some kind of arrangement where we just hang out and have sex with no strings attached.’
Right, well, you couldn’t fault his frankness there.
‘You’re finally tired of fucking your way across the city?’
‘I mean, that’s part of it. Having a regular arrangement, with feelings left out of the equation completely, would be so much easier.’
‘Life isn’t supposed to be easy, Buck. It’s the hard stuff that makes it worth it.’
‘Can you vouch for that?’
You paused for a second and, thinking back on the string of cheaters and fuckboys you’d worked through, you realised that you really couldn’t. All of your relationships up until now had left you completely broken, maybe this was the answer you’d been looking for.
It did sound like a bit of an emotional minefield, especially after the feelings you’d experienced for him that day on the beach, but you figured you could always just duck out if it was getting too much.
Besides, you’d really, really like to have sex with him again.
Then something dawned on you. ‘Hold on a second, how long have you been planning on asking me this? Did you know I’d be at that bar tonight or something?’
‘Ah.’ This was the first time you’d ever seen him look even slightly embarrassed. ‘Well, Steve might’ve mentioned something about Nat and a blind date…’
‘You followed me?’
‘No, I tracked you down based on information from a third party. It’s romantic.’
‘You’re unbelievable.’
He chuckled. ‘I’m sure you’ve told me that before.’
The two of you reached your front door, and you turned to face him, the definition on his arms as they folded across his chest really not helping you make an unbiased decision.
A smirk curled in the corner of his mouth as he leant against the wall. ‘So?’
As you internally debated whether or not to take this dangerous gamble, you suddenly remembered that Nat was staying at Steve’s tonight, and apparently that was enough to tip the scales.
Grabbing the collar of his t-shirt, you pulled him towards you, crashing your mouth against his and throwing your arms around his neck. He quickly reciprocated, pushing you up against the door and letting his hand slowly dance up your thigh. You decided it was probably best to find your keys before he took things too far out on the street. Both of you spilled through the gap, breathlessly scrambling up the stairs.
He grabbed you from behind once you got into the apartment, burying his face in your neck and growling. ‘I’ll take that as a yes.’
Summary:Alone in the middle of nowhere and feeling yourself slowly fading, all you could do was try to keep yourself alive.
Pairing:Bucky x y/n
Word Count:2.4k
Warnings: Language, some gore
Author’s Note: Thank you @emmabarnes for the prompt for this story, sorry it’s been so long coming! ‘Reader has been missing for a few days, Bucky is going completely insane, they find her hurt/unconscious/dying in a field somewhere.’
—
As you wearily dragged yourself back to consciousness, he was your first thought.
You were only granted a few blissful seconds of peace before being inundated with pain, fear and disorientation, but in that brief time your mind was swimming with Bucky’s last words as you boarded that fucking plane.
‘Keep yourself safe for me, bug.’
Then he slipped away.
Unbelievable agony began to radiate from your right leg, shooting through your body like lightning with every slight movement. Battling through your tangled thoughts, you slowly pieced together the series of events that had landed you flat on your back in the middle of a field, in so much pain that you were struggling to breathe. You vaguely recalled glancing through the Alpha Jet’s window and seeing Moscow down below, then seconds later being hit by some kind of projectile. The impact had instantly snapped your wing off and sent you plummeting towards the ground.
After that it was just blackness, but the thick cords wrapped tightly around your waist and thighs led you to the conclusion that your parachute must’ve malfunctioned.
Fuck, Bucky was gonna be so pissed.
He always told you to double check that stuff, giving you concerned glances every time you teased him for being paranoid- if you somehow managed to survive this you were definitely in deep shit.
On the plus side, you now knew vaguely where you were and how you’d ended up here, so it was time to let your years of relentless survival training kick in. Your focus shifted to keeping yourself alive.
First, you needed to see your leg.
Carefully moving yourself around a little, you couldn’t feel any pain coming from your back, so you decided to risk sitting up in order to assess the full extent of the damage. It took at least thirty minutes and some intense screeching, but you eventually managed to find a comfortable position where you could get a good look. Your right leg was completely crushed underneath a sharp, thick piece of steel. At your best you could probably have shifted it, but you’d barely managed to muster the energy required to get to this point- besides, there was a good chance it was the only thing stopping you from bleeding out.
Freeing a length of cord and taking a deep breath, you fashioned it into a tight tourniquet above your knee, the pain causing you to collapse back to the ground. You needed to distract yourself, find something to focus on other than the excruciating agony.
Frantically flicking through memories like a rolodex, you eventually dug out an old reliable, one that could always make you smile no matter the circumstances- the day you first met Bucky.
You were still locked away beneath the Triskelion at the time, in the midst of Fury’s brutal Hydra-deprogramming regime, seriously considering whether all this pain was worth the meagre quality of life you’d be doomed to once you were cured. All you’d been told was that someone with ‘similar experiences’ was being sent to ‘assess’ you, which sounded to you like the kind of euphemism a parent would use to reassure their child when the vet arrives to put down their beloved pet.
The door of your basement prison slowly opened, and the first thing you saw was his smile, faint but optimistic. After that it took less than a few minutes for you to gather that this broad, intimidating man was just a sweet and clumsy oaf.
He stood opposite you and reeled off a few questions, giving away his nervousness by fidgeting around slightly as he spoke. ‘So how long’ve they had you hidden away down here?’
‘Almost two years.’
‘Wow, long time. You like it down here?’ You gave him a slightly puzzled look, figuring it was pretty clear that you weren’t living in this bare, concrete basement by choice. ‘Sorry. Stupid question. You’d probably rather be anywhere else, right? But hey, at least there’s no bugs.’
‘Nope, just me.’
‘You’re definitely the biggest bug I’ve ever seen.’ He paused, reassessing his words. ‘Not that you’re- I didn’t mean-’
The corners of your mouth curled into a smile in response to his inept ramblings. The sight seemed to effectively derail his frantic train of thought, because his words trailed off and he let the two of you settle into a brief, comfortable silence.
You knew from that moment there was something special about him, but later in the day when he spilled a full mug of coffee all over the floor and made you laugh for the first time in years, you knew he was the one. Just remembering his face as he stared at the slowly spreading brown puddle made you laugh to yourself, but you quickly snapped out of your fantasy when the sensation caused pangs of pain in your chest.
Just like that, you were back in your nightmare.
Your throat had already started to feel dry and scratchy, but you had no water and it was the height of summer, so there was little chance of rain. Bucky had three days to find you at most, all you could do in the meantime was try to preserve what little energy you had left.
You attempted to lull yourself to sleep by imagining him next to you, trying to remember the soft sound of him breathing and the warmth of his closeness. You thought about how long it’d taken for both of you to reach the point where you could share a bed, how you built up trust, slowly growing accustomed to being in such close proximity.
It started with Bucky sleeping on the floor of your bedroom, just so the two of you could get used to the sounds of each other. It only took a few weeks before he was able to tell whether you were awake just from the speed of your breathing, and he’d make sure to ask every few minutes if you were okay until he heard you nod off. The first time he tried sleeping in your bed, both of you expected a night of tension and unrest, but it turned out blissful. The feeling of his arm slung over you while you slept was the most comforting sensation you’d ever experienced. After that, there was no turning back, and the presence of each other was the only thing that could guarantee you both a good night’s sleep.
All you had tonight was the bitter cold and the paralysing fear that you might never get to see him again.
—
You jolted awake.
Sitting up slightly, waves of dizziness hit and you suddenly noticed that the grass around you was soaked with blood. You took a deep breath, grabbed a sturdy-looking stick from the ground and clenched it between your teeth, biting down hard as you tightened your tourniquet. The pain was immense and felt like it would never end.
After that, all you could do was lay back down and just let the hours pass. The light slowly faded, bright sunshine turning into murky twilight, which then waned into a darkness so thick that you couldn’t even see your hand in front of your face.
Thankfully, you didn’t mind the darkness. Late night was the only time Bucky was able to sneak you out of that fucking basement prison, so you’d grown quite fond of it, often staying up late just to stare into the night sky and relive those memories.
You thought back to the first time he did it, how he charmed the security guard before excitedly leading you through a maze of winding corridors. You’d never forget the feeling of the clean, crisp midnight air hitting your face for the first time in years. You were stood there with eyes firmly closed, tears running down your face, just breathing it in. A hand was gently placed on your shoulder, and you glanced over to see Bucky looking at you with the most beautifully triumphant smile. You leant into him and let his arms enclose you. The two of you stood there, holding each other and gazing at the stars, for hours.
You held on to that memory for as long as you could, but eventually it got away. You were starting to fade, you could feel it. Grasping around for anything that would keep your mind active, you began trying to remember all the intricate details of his face and the cadences of his voice, imagining what he’d say to you if he was here.
‘Well, I never pegged you as a quitter.’
You smiled slightly to yourself, his voice echoing in your ears. ‘You always overestimated me.’
‘That’s a lie and you know it.’
Letting your head fall to the side, you saw him crouched down beside you, wearing the same outfit he’d had on when you first met. A plain black t-shirt and blue jeans, classic but unbelievably sexy.
‘Good to see you, bug.’
‘You too Buck,’ tears started to well in your eyes, ‘I just wish you were real.’
‘Me too.’
You would’ve given anything to have him reach out and touch your face, to feel the rough skin of his hand against your cheek, to know he was there with you.
‘But look,’ laying down beside you, he propped up his head, a goofy grin spread across his face, ‘I wore your favourite outfit.’
‘You’re a figment of my imagination, of course I put you in my favourite outfit.’
He shrugged. ‘Could’a put me in nothing at all.’
‘Didn’t want you to be cold.’
‘So considerate.’
You chuckled slightly, wincing in pain. ‘Don’t make me laugh, it hurts.’
Your gaze shifted from your imaginary boyfriend back to the inky sky, a feeble sigh escaping your lips. You knew him being here wasn’t a good sign, your mind was obviously starting to completely unravel, but you couldn’t say you weren’t grateful for the company.
‘Am I gonna die here, Buck?’
‘Well you’ve lost a lot of blood and you haven’t had any water in almost two days,’ he leaned so close that you swore you could smell his cologne, ‘but we both know you’ve survived worse. If this is the thing that takes you out then, frankly, imma be a little pissed.’
You gave him a faint smile, pretty impressed at the accuracy with which your half-dead brain had created this hallucination- he was just as much of an asshole as his real counterpart.
‘Besides,’ he continued, ‘I can’t be too far away by now. You know I’ll never stop until I find you.’
‘You better fucking not.’
Your eyes slowly closed, but you still heard his voice in your ears as you drifted off into a fractured sleep.
‘Get some rest, bug. I’ll see you soon.’
—
You felt an orange warmth against your eyelids, but you couldn’t muster the energy to peel them open. The pain in your leg had faded, but you weren’t sure if it had improved or if you’d just grown accustomed to it. You kept falling in and out of consciousness, strange dreams bleeding into reality until you couldn’t distinguish the two anymore.
You fell into a sunken place, tranquil sensations engulfing your body, as if you were slowly slipping into a warm bath.
You thought, in the far distance, you heard your name being called.
—
Faint beeping started in your right ear.
It was sporadic and far away at first but, eventually, it grew loud and steady. You managed to grasp onto the sound, letting it drag you out of the sunken place and back into your body. Then more sounds started to bleed through. You pushed aside the distant footsteps and singing of birds to focus on the one you were really interested in- the close mumbling of an incredibly familiar voice. Mumbles strung themselves together and eventually became words.
‘-and then Steve said it wasn’t as good as the one from the diner around the corner, but he’s only saying that cause he’s got a crush on the girl that works behind the counter there. He knows I’m right, there’s no comparison.’
Your eyelids were still too heavy to push open and your throat was so dry it was painful, but you just about managed to choke out a few words.
‘Are you really talking to your comatose girlfriend about pizza?’
You couldn’t see him, but you could tell by the sound of his voice that he was talking through a wide grin. ‘I ran out of interesting topics hours ago, not my fault you decided to sleep in.’
A chuckle rose up from your stomach and you winced, expecting that pang of pain, but there was nothing. You just about managed to pry an eye open, lolling your head towards Bucky’s voice and trying to focus through the blinding fluorescent light.
‘Are you real?’
‘I’m real.’ His hand came to rest on your face, the sensation sending elated waves through you. ‘You had me scared for a second there, bug. Thought you were a goner.’
The corner of your mouth twitched. ‘I’ve survived worse.’
‘Your chances of survival would be much better if you checked your damn parachutes every once in a while. How many times have I told you?’
‘I don’t even get a minute of consciousness without a guilt trip?’
‘I can go back to talking about pizza, if you’d prefer.’
A single head shake was all you could manage in response to that threat. He chuckled, rising from his chair and leaning over you, thumb stroking over your cheek while he planted a cautiously soft kiss on your forehead.
‘I’m never letting you outta my sight again.’
You raised an eyebrow at him. ‘That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?’
‘No.’
Now you were more grounded in reality, and apparently doped up on a cocktail of pain meds, you managed to push down on the mattress and shift yourself sideways. Bucky’s very concerned frown faded once you patted the bed beside you.
‘Could use some company.’
‘Oh, me too.’ He carefully climbed into the empty space, lowering his head onto the pillow. ‘I haven’t slept well for days.’
‘Wow, must’ve been really hard for you.’
‘It was.’
You watched the teasing smirk fade from his face as he drifted off to sleep, and felt yourself following not long afterwards.—
Summary:You weren’t even sure if you trusted Bucky to keep your little rendezvous a secret, but now he knew something even worse.
Pairing:College!Bucky x y/n
Word Count: 1.4k
Warnings:Language
Author’s Note: I should’ve done this in part one, but I would retroactively like to set the tone for this story by directing your attention to this video. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
—
You woke up in Bucky’s bed the next morning.
You’d originally planned to sneak away after he fell asleep, figuring that’d effectively minimise the risk of getting caught, but you must’ve passed out from exhaustion before you could manage it.
You were still behind enemy lines.
Bucky was fast asleep, snoring like a speedboat. This would’ve been an opportune moment for you to escape had he not been lying directly on top of your arm. You briefly floated the idea of chewing it off to get away, reasoning that the adrenaline produced by your fear of Nat would carry you through the pain, but the logistics were far too complex.
You were in a coyote ugly with with a hot person, there was literally no name for this situation.
It took a few minutes, but you painstakingly managed to wriggle free without waking him, only to hear movement while you were gathering up all your clothes from the floor.
‘Morning.’ You glanced over to see him sleepily smiling at you. ‘Round two?’
‘Interesting, I had you down as a one-and-done type guy.’
‘Can’t have too much of a good thing.’ He flipped back the sheet beside him, patting the bed in time with a series of suggestive eyebrow raises. ‘Quickie?’
‘I would, Ireally would, but I can’t risk anyone catching me naked in your bedroom.’
‘The risk just makes it hotter.’
He had a very good point. You definitely would’ve taken him up on it, but the idea of Nat finding out and literally crucifying you would probably stop you getting into the moment anyway.
‘I can’t.’
‘Fair enough.’ He flopped onto his back with a sigh. ‘She really has it out for me, huh?’
You shrugged, turning away and mumbling under your breath. ‘For good reason.’
‘What?’
‘Nothing. See you later.’
You felt his eyes glued to your butt as you scurried out of the door and across the hallway, fully naked, with a ball of clothes in your arms.
You couldn’t believe you’d gotten away with it.
—
You joined Steve and Nat in the kitchen for breakfast.
Unfortunately, after you’d all finished, you were forced to pull out one of your big gun excuses to get out of taking swim with them. Period pains were a get-out-of-jail-free card you’d be able to play all day long, but you already sensed a little suspicion at your reluctance to go near the water.
You walked them down to the beach, watching them swim completely out of view before lying down and closing your eyes to sunbathe.
Only a few brief minutes of peaceful bliss had passed when, suddenly, you found yourself completely in the shade. You opened an eye to see a grinning Bucky standing over you.
‘Not swimming?’
‘Nah, not in the mood.’
‘C’mon,’ he prodded you with his foot, ‘just a quickie?’
The smirk on his face as he said it would’ve melted the strongest of women into a quivering puddle, but even that wasn’t enough- it’d take a great deal more than some horny flirting to convince you into anything past a paddle.
‘I’m good, thanks.’
You gave him a short smile and let your eyes flicker closed again, hoping he’d shift out of the sunlight and let you carry on with relaxing.
He did not.
Before you could even gauge what the hell was happening, you’d been yanked up off the floor and slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
‘What the fuck are you playing at?’
‘I’m forcing you to have some fun.’
He was heading towards the ocean.
Your heartbeat started picking up, a hard lump forming in your throat as your stomach tied itself in a knot. ‘Bucky stop, seriously, I don’t want to.’
He ignored you and just tightened his grip in response to your struggling. You were hitting his back as hard as you could by the time he waded in, trying anything you could to get him to stop. It was unbelievably frustrating hearing him laugh in response to your begging but, for some reason, he’d convinced himself you were just joking around.
As soon as you felt your feet hit the water, your first instinct was to scream as loud as you could- that stopped him.
‘Holy shit, alright, I’ll let you go.’
He loosened his grip and began to lower you from his shoulder, not realising that was quite possibly the worst thing he could do in this situation.
‘Don’t you fucking dare.’ Your shaking legs just about managed to get a grip around him before you were fully dropped. ‘Take me back, now.’
Obviously in shock, he quickly waded back to the shore, looking incredibly concerned when you collapsed onto the sand and started hyperventilating. The edges of your vision were starting to blur, hands desperately trying to grasp onto the loose ground.
Kneeling down, he reached out and tried to comfort you a little, but stopped when you aggressively swatted away his hands.
‘Shit I’m really sorry, you should’a told me you can’t swim.’
You just about managed to push some words out between gulped in breaths. ‘I can fucking swim, asshole.’
‘What is it then?’ Slight panic was rising in his voice, he obviously had no idea what the hell was happening. ‘You scared of sharks or something?’
You didn’t bother trying to answer that, figuring you didn’t need to explain yourself to someone who’d come dangerously close to killing you a moment ago. You rolled over and attempted to stand yourself up but you were really struggling, your body was still in panic mode, legs about as useful as cooked spaghetti.
Bucky was your only option for getting as far away from the water as possible.
You stopped batting him away so he could help you up and walk you back to the house, where you collapsed onto the porch seat and tried to collect yourself a little. Just being back somewhere you felt safe helped you begin to calm down.
Bucky lowered himself down beside you, obviously feeling incredibly guilty and scrabbling around to come up with something that’d diffuse the tension.
‘So is it all sharks or…?’
An exasperated chuckle slipped through your lips. ‘It’s not sharks, dumbass. It’s just the water.’
‘Oh, right.’ He watched as you leant back into the seat, finally catching your breath. ‘You mind if I ask why?’
You let your gaze wander over to meet his. For some reason you couldn’t pinpoint, you were feeling inclined to tell this almost-stranger something you hadn’t even shared with your best friends yet. Maybe it’d be therapeutic- after all, it was unlikely you’d ever see him again after this weekend.
He turned his body towards you slightly, face still swimming with guilt but a look in his eyes that urged you into a confession.
‘It was years ago. It’s still a little blurry, all I remember is swimming with my sister when we got caught in some kind of undercurrent and pulled down. She somehow managed to escape and call for my dad,’ you shrugged faintly, ‘apparently he got to me just in time.’
Your skin was crawling just thinking about it. You must’ve looked uncomfortable, cause as soon as you’d finished speaking Bucky placed a grounding hand on your knee, squeezing slightly and giving you a reassuring smile.
Your eyes strayed back to the shore, the sight sending a fearful tingle up your spine. ‘It know it’s stupid but, whenever I’m in the water, all I can think is that there’s something underneath me, trying to drag me down.’
‘Nah, it makes sense.’ He nodded faintly. ‘Does anyone else know?’
‘I just figured now wasn’t the best time…’
‘Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.’
It was a relief to hear that. You weren’t really sure why you were still so intent on keeping this from your friends, it might’ve been reluctance to tell that story again or just pure embarrassment at this point, but you were glad you wouldn’t be forced into sharing.
You’d tell them eventually, just in your own time.
‘Look, I know I said it before, but I am really sorry. I didn’t realise you were so scared.’
Your face screwed up into a bewildered frown. ‘I was literally punching you as hard as I could.’
‘For real?’ He clicked his tongue. ‘Man, you should work out more.’
‘Asshole.’
You were dangerously close to letting yourself get lost in a bit of a moment with him, but Nat’s distant voice made you snap back to your senses and instantly slap Bucky’s hand away from your leg.
‘Hey guys,’ she and Steve were strolling towards the two of you, ‘you been for a paddle?’
Summary:Hiding your phobias from your closest friends may not have been the best idea- you were definitely about to pay for it.
Pairing: College!Bucky x y/n
Word Count:1.8k
Warnings:Language
Author’s Note: So, bit of a weird one- this series is partially inspired by the request above but also by my deep horrific fear of the ocean. Bear with me, it will make sense soon, I promise.
—
All you could see was blue. A deep, murky blue stretching in every direction.
You looked upwards, hoping to see the glimmering of the water’s surface above you, but there was nothing. You were deep this time.
You tried to swim upwards, but no matter how hard you kicked you could still feel yourself sinking. Dark shadows started to circle. Your lungs were burning, panic reaching fever pitch, urge to pull in a deep breath becoming too much to overcome.
‘Y/n!’
Your eyes shot open.
Nat was pretty harshly shaking your knee while doing her best to still keep an eye on the road. ‘What the hell, man? You were kicking my dashboard in your sleep.’
You scanned your eyes over the spattering of faint muddy footprints in front of you. ‘Shit, sorry. Bad dream.’
‘About what? Fighting the fucking Karate Kid?’
‘Something like that.’
You would’ve confessed the truth, but you figured that the drive towards a long weekend in a beach-house wasn’t exactly the best time to tell her about your phobia-inspired reoccurring dream.
‘I get nightmares too, sometimes.’ Wanda’s quiet voice came from the backseat.
‘Yeah? What about?’
‘That time I saw Nat’s butt by accident.’
You burst out laughing and dangled an open hand over your shoulder, swiftly receiving a high five. ‘Nice.’
‘You guys suck.’ Nat dug into her pocket, pulling out her phone and throwing it into your lap. ‘Check if Steve’s texted, he should be there by now.’
‘Mhmm, he says they’ve arrived. He also says that he can’t wait to get you alone on the beach and make you-’
She grabbed the phone away. ‘That’s great, thanks.’
You’d only met Steve a handful of times, cause he went to a different college on the other side of the city, but he seemed nice enough. That being said, you were pretty sure that he’d originally organised this weekend as a lads’ holiday but didn’t have the heart to say no when Nat hinted her interest.
You and Wanda had basically just been roped along to keep her company while the guys butt-chugged beer in the sunshine.
You finally arrived and Steve greeted you at the door, quickly informing you and Wanda that the two bedrooms left to choose from were pretty inconsistent in quality. One was a spacious master with an en-suite and full view of the beach, the other was one of two cramped attic rooms with owls nesting in the walls- guess which one you ended up in.
After unpacking all your stuff and communing with your new avian roommates, you flopped onto the bed, folding your arms over your face in exasperation.
You’d spent weeks before this holiday compiling as many excuses as you could think of not to get into the ocean, but you were convinced they still wouldn’t be enough. If anyone tried to coerce you into anything more than a paddle then shit would hit the fan and you’d have to start attacking-
‘Hey.’
‘Jesus fuck.’ You physically jumped, bolting upright.
Snapping your head in the direction of the noise, you were pretty taken aback to see a brick shit-house of a man standing in the doorway that you’d forgotten to close.
‘Actually, most people call me Bucky, but for you I can probably make an exception.’
You clambered to your feet. ‘Well, Bucky, you scared the shit out of me. Are you one of Steve’s entourage or are you just some creep that’s broken in?’
‘Depends. Which answer gets me invited in?’
Yikes.
‘Oh, second one, definitely. Criminally dangerous perverts are kinda my thing.’
‘For real?’
‘No, you fucking idiot.’ You walked over to the door, hoping he’d shift himself when you began to close it. He didn’t. ‘Could you move? I need to get changed.’
‘Move in or out?’
The look on your face seemed to answer that question for you, cause he put his arms up in surrender and took a step back, an unholy smirk plastered on his face as you slammed the door.
Low mumbling came through the wood. ‘If you need me I’m just across the hall, neighbour.’
‘I won’t.’
You tried to shake him off while rooting around for some beach-appropriate clothes but, unfortunately, just that short conversation had started the cogs turning in your mind.
Yeah, he was pretty clearly a massive slag with no boundaries and an attitude problem, but you couldn’t deny that he was also the hottest thing that’d spoken to you in months. All of your recent relationships had been absolutely abysmal, so it might be nice to just bang it out with some asshole for the weekend…
Eh, you’d just have to see how it went. What did you have to lose?
—
Nat and Wanda were waiting for you in the kitchen. Apparently the boys were already on the beach setting up a fire pit for the evening, so you figured now was a good time to get a little more information about your potential weekend fuckbuddy.
‘So, I met Steve’s friend. He’s pretty hot.’
Nat raised an eyebrow at you. ‘Which one? Sam?’
‘Bucky.’
To this day you have no idea how she did it, but in an instant Nat somehow managed to turn into human fire at the sound of that name. Her eyes widened, head starting to erratically shake, an accusatory finger pointing right between your eyes.
‘You stay the fuck away from him.’ You looked over to Wanda, both of you stunned into silence. ‘Y/n, I’m saying this because I love you. Every woman he touches turns to crap. Stay away.’
‘I mean, it’d just be a bit of fun, it’s not like-’
‘That’s what they all say.’ Your intensely puzzled expression obviously made her realise that she needed to back up these wild claims with some evidence. ‘Look, he goes to the same college as one of my high school friends. They had a thing, she was super into him, but it ended because he slept with three of her best friends. In the same weekend.’
Ah.
You couldn’t say you were surprised. If he spoke to all women like he spoke to you back in the bedroom then, by law of averages, he probably got laid a lot. You weren’t an idiot, though, you could easily separate sex from feelings- especially if you knew that the guy was a huge player going into it.
‘He’s probably pretty good after all that practice though, right?’
Wanda found that pretty funny, but it earned you a severe case of daggers from Nat as she grabbed you firmly by the shoulders. ‘Look at me and repeat. I will not sleep with James Barnes.’
‘Who is James Barnes?’
‘Bucky. I will not sleep with Bucky. Say it.’
You rolled your eyes. ‘You can’t be serious.’
‘I’m as serious as a kick in the vulva, say it. NOW.’
‘Alright alright, I won’t sleep with Bucky, Jesus.’ You managed to shrug her hands off. ‘Happy?’
‘Yes. Now let’s go set some wood on fire.’
—
The fire pit was really going by the time it got dark. You paddled with everyone for a little while, hiding how on edge you were the whole time, but managed to get out of a midnight swim by claiming you were too tired. They went ahead and you just laid out on a blanket in the sand, happily relaxing on your own.
Then your peace was disturbed.
Bucky emerged from the water, wearing nothing but some rather clingy swimming shorts, and somehow started walking towards you in slow motion. He gave you a knowing smile before laying himself beside you on the blanket, about as close as he could manage without actually touching.
‘Nice swim, James?’
‘James?’ He flipped onto his side to face you, propping himself up on his elbow. ‘You been talking about me already?’
Shit. No way out of that one.
‘Well, you’ve got quite a reputation.’
‘Tell me about it, apparently I can’t even escape it all the way out here.’
‘Things spread, James.’ You glanced down to his crotch with a smirk, then back to his face. ‘You should know that better than anyone.’
A low chuckle vibrated next to you. ‘Real nice.’
Smiling to yourself, you folded your arms behind your head and let your eyes flutter closed, enjoying the sounds of the ocean and the distant warmth of the fire. You could sense that Bucky was still staring at you, the feelings that elicited really making if difficult for you to keep the promise you made just a few hours earlier.
‘If you’re tired, maybe we should go to bed.’
You couldn’t help but burst into astonished laughter. ‘You’re unbelievable.’
‘Life’s too short to mess around.’
You heard the vague sounds of the rest of your group wading out of the water. The blanket moved underneath you as Bucky shifted towards you slightly, his voice right next to your ear when he spoke again.
‘I’ll be waiting, if you’re up for it.’
Your eyes flicked open just in time to see him climb back onto his feet, wave goodnight to everyone and slink back towards the house.
This was an interesting situation. You could either keep your promise to Nat by heading straight to your own bed and avoiding Bucky for the rest of the weekend- cause, let’s be real, that’s the only way you’d be able to resist him- or you could head to his room and have possibly the best sex of your life, which Nat would never find out about anyway cause you’d blackmail him into silence.
It seemed like kind of a no-brainer.
You were young and single, damn it, you could have great meaningless sex with whoever the hell you wanted.
You gave it ten minutes before following him.
His bedroom door swung open and you were lifted clean off the ground before you could even manage two knocks, his goofy expression face making you giggle as he dropped you on the bed and climbed on top of you.
He leant towards you, but you shoved a hand over his mouth before he could make contact. ‘No-one can’t find out about this, especially Nat. Understand?’
‘Mmmph mmphm?’ He mumbled into your hand, making you roll your eyes and let his face go. ‘Why not?’
‘I, uh- I basically promised her I’d stay away from you. Plus, I don’t want everyone to know I’ve had a ride on the city bike.’
‘Yeah, I get that a lot.’
‘Jesus Christ.’
He gave you a cocky wink before dropping his head and closing the gap between you, slowly lowering himself down and letting his body come to rest against yours.
Summary: You weren’t expecting any meaningful results from court-mandated therapy, so meeting him really threw you for a loop
Pairing:FATWS!Bucky x y/n
Word Count:6k
Warnings:Language, hints to domestic violence
Author’s Note: I posted the first few parts of this as a series but it wasn’t working for me for some reason, so I thought I’d finish it off and upload it as one big chunk. We love a chunk. Disclaimer tho this is not at all canon with FATWS, it’s just loosely inspired by Bucky in therapy. Enjoy!
—
You could still smell it.
In this room, with all the doors and windows securely closed, you could still smell the stale cigarette smoke that always clung to his fingers. It had become a harbinger of sorts, a warning signal, a budgie down the mine chirping for its life before choking and dropping to the bottom of its cage like a rock.
If his hand was close enough for you to smell it, something unpleasant was coming next.
‘Y/n?’ The semi-stern voice dragged you out of your spiral. ‘Did I lose you for a second there?’
‘No. Not at all, I was, uh- just thinking about what to have for dinner.’
Her lips slowly pursed while a suspicious eyebrow crept its way up her forehead. You just huffed and shifted yourself around on the couch, waiting out the tense silence she’d manufactured in order to prompt you into a confession.
Oldest trick in the book, it wasn’t going to fucking wash.
She spoke again through a heavy sigh. ‘Y/n, you know what happens if these sessions aren’t productive. The court won’t look favourably on a blank report.’
Before experiencing it for yourself, you’d never have guessed the extent to which therapy involves passive-aggressive coercion and veiled threats. You could just save the bus fare and get the same amount of guilt and shame from an evening with your mother.
‘Defineproductive.’
‘Well, for one, you have to be honest with me.’
‘Awh, I can’t just make some shit up?’
Your smart-ass comment quickly turned to ash in your mouth as you were hit with the most severe stonewall you’d ever encountered, swiftly followed by a few more minutes of loaded silence.
Nine more weeks of this. You genuinely considered fleeing the country.
Your session mercifully ended ten minutes later but, naturally, you weren’t allowed your freedom without a final sprinkling of surreptitious duress.
‘Y/n, before you go-’ The doc stopped you just before you managed to break contact with the couch. ‘Are you aware that we also provide group sessions?’
A bolt of dread struck the top of your spine.
Surely there was no way she could force you to attend those now that your sentence had already been passed? It was bad enough spending an hour of your week batting away her incessant questions, if you were made to give up another hour to listen to some sad-sack weep over his mommy issues and resulting failed marriage then you were definitely booking a ticket on the next plane across the Atlantic.
You winced and slowly began to shake your head, gripping the fabric of your jacket tight, dreading what she’d say next.
‘Well, we do offer your typical sit-in-a-circle-and-cry type meetings, but we’re also starting coffee mornings and cookery workshops. I think you’d benefit from them.’
She picked up a leaflet from the table beside her and strained to pass it over, pretending not to notice your obvious distaste as you took it between two fingers and eyed the front cover.
‘Are you insured to have that many crazies in the same room?’
A smirk twitched in the corner of her mouth. ‘Barely.’
You thought as much.
Either way, regardless of insurance coverage, if the meetings weren’t compulsory you certainly wouldn’t be attending. It’d take nothing short of a miracle to change your mind on that.
You leapt to your feet just as the second hand ticked over twelve and, after giving your shrink a polite and slightly smug nod, you made a beeline for the door. A whole week of sweet freedom was a mere few steps away when she called after you.
‘Oh, could you tell James I’m ready for him?’
‘Mhmm.’
You didn’t even break stride, yanking the door open as soon as it was in reach, but then stopping dead before crossing the threshold into the waiting room.
The slight wobble that had started in your knees made walking any further quite a risk.
An intimidatingly stern but unreasonably attractive man was planted on the waiting room couch, staring stoically out of the window, apparently unaware of your presence. He was dressed pretty unusually for a New York summer day- most people would be absolutely sweltering in a leather jacket and matching gloves, but the insane heat didn’t seem to be bothering him much.
‘She’s, uh-’ You opened with the most inelegant voice crack you could possibly have mustered, causing him to send an alarmed look in your direction. ‘She’s ready for you.’
He gave a quick nod before calmly rising to his feet and slinking past you like a jaguar. A faint scent of bourbon and sandalwood was left in his wake, which only became stronger as you took a few small steps into the waiting room.
You didn’t register it in the moment, but that was the first time in weeks you’d been able to escape that lingering smell of stale cigarettes.
After hearing the door softly close behind you, your eyes danced down to the group therapy leaflet now slightly crushed in your sweaty palm, and you began to wonder whether the doc was plugging these group sessions to all her clients…
Maybe they were worth a shot.
—
The weather was suitably grim as you trudged off the bus and headed towards the Casual Chat and Coffee Morning, cursing yourself for being so susceptible to brooding beefcakes clad in leather- a weakness that had led you astray countless times before.
Ugh, he probably wouldn’t even show up.
You half-jogged through the streets in a futile attempt to avoid getting soaked, pissed that you were actively choosing this over staying in bed until midday, eating dry cereal straight out of the box and crying at teen movies on Netflix.
Your wet shoes squelched across the community centre’s linoleum floor as you slowly descended into the fifth circle of hell. The echoing of overly-enthusiastic voices down the hallway almost made you turn back, but you were determined to at least show your face, even if the only thing you gained was some brownie points from your tyrannical shrink.
You shoved open the door and quickly scanned the room, seeing absolutely no sign of him. He was obviously far more sane than you.
The temptation to swivel round and leave immediately had almost swayed you when an elderly lady with a seemingly permanent sad expression caught your eye. She waved you over to the beverage table, so you had no choice but to hold your breath and jump in head-first.
It was a bad decision.
Marjorie talked at you for twenty minutes about her abandonment issues, which apparently stemmed from a tabby cat that left to live with her neighbour. Although listening to her did make you feel a little better about your own life, you’d still rather have been anywhere else, doing anything else.
Your will to live had reached a critically low level when you finally spotted James slip in through the door and sequester himself to the far corner, shooting threatening stares at anyone who dared to stray within chatting distance.
The extent to which that got you going was pretty worrying.
Usually, you tried your best not to judge a book by its cover, but you just couldn’t stop thinking that he didn’t look at all the type to be in therapy- guys that looked like him usually chose to drink and/or punch away their problems.
Then again, you had no room to judge, cause that’s exactly what you’d be doing without this fucking court mandate.
Marjorie shoved a biscoff towards your face and snapped you back to reality, at which point you realised that you’d been pretty blatantly staring at the poor boy ever since he arrived. It was probably time to scrape together as much subtlety as you could before he got too freaked out.
You spun around and began to pour yourself a coffee, inwardly cursing your blundering approach to expressing attraction, when a gruff voice piped up beside you.
‘What are you in for?’
You jumped out of your skin. James had somehow managed to approach you and plant himself less than a few inches away in complete silence. The shock of finding him in such close proximity caused you to launch Marjorie’s biscoff into the air, which he somehow managed to catch and place back in your hand without so much as a glance towards your face, before quickly reverting his attention to the cup of water he was pouring.
‘Uh, bereavement.’ You lied. You had no idea why you lied, he could obviously tell, that much was clear from his amused expression. ‘You?’
‘Long story.’
‘Good long or boring long?’
His eyes flicked in your direction and you realised that, despite only being close to him for a few seconds, the woodsy scent of his cologne was already beginning to overpower the haunting odour which usually lingered around you.
He smirked slightly and took a gulp of water before turning his body in your direction, arms folded over his chest. ‘Depends what kind of stories you like.’
‘Oh, gory ones with lots of death.’
His face dropped, all the colour draining from it in an instant.
What a fucking idiot you were. That was obviously terrible joke to make at a fucking group therapy session, why couldn’t you fucking think before opening your fucking face?
‘Shit, sorry.’ You rubbed your eyes exasperatedly. ‘It’s actually amazing how coherent I am, considering I live with my foot in my mouth.’
A dry chuckle escaped his lips. ‘It’s pretty impressive.’
‘You should see me at funerals, I’m a hoot.’
‘I’ll bet.’ He pulled a leather glove off his right hand before reaching it towards you. ‘Bucky.’
‘Y/n. Pleasure.’
The feeling of his hand caught you off-guard a little. It was rough and weathered, far too rough for someone his age unless they’d spent the last twenty years working on a farm or an oil rig, which you doubted. You also couldn’t help thinking that he didn’t look the type to introduce himself with a nickname. This guy was an increasingly complex puzzle…
Or maybe you were just terrible at reading people.
‘If everyone could find a seat, we’ll be starting in five minutes.’
The shrink’s announcement caused you and Bucky to shoot horrified glances at each other. He grabbed his cup and crumpled it up, tossing it in the trash can before pulling his glove back on.
‘I think I’m gonna head off.’
‘Oh, okay.’ You tried your best not to let disappointment leak into your words. ‘Can’t say I blame you.’
He paused and closely observed you for a second, your best attempt at a polite, atmosphere-diffusing smile doing nothing to ward off the staring. His hand moved up to rub the back of his head- if you didn’t know any better you’d think he was a little nervous.
‘I don’t suppose- is there, uh- any chance you wanna get a real drink somewhere?’
It was profoundly strange hearing such a timid voice coming from such an intimidating host, but even that was incredibly endearing to you for some reason. Your cheeks started to prickle slightly.
Man, you really needed to get laid, and soon.
‘Yeah, that sounds great.’ You answered far more enthusiastically than intended. ‘Well, I mean, better than sitting around listening to Marjorie go on about Gerald the cat.’
‘Who?’
‘Oh, she’s- it was- doesn’t matter.’
He nodded, very confused, and gestured for you to follow him to the door.
Maybe one day you’d be able to prise that big ol’ foot out of your mouth, but apparently it wasn’t happening anytime soon.
Once you got out into the hallway, he stayed a few steps ahead of you, addressing you over his shoulder like some kind of drill sergeant. ‘I know a place we can go.’
‘Yeah, s’fine with me.’ You replied, adding under your breath, ‘Fingers crossed that story of yours doesn’t involve dangerous alcoholism.’
‘What?’
He stopped dead, spun round and stared intently at you again. It was difficult to hide your sudden panic, you were sure you’d said that way too quietly for him to hear.
‘Oh, I just know that a couple people back there are pretty deep in prehab.’ Your words were punctuated with nervous laughter. ‘Wouldn’t want to ruin your AA streak, y'know?’
‘Appreciate the concern, think I’ll be fine.’
Yikers. Note to self, Bucky can hear everything.
You just about managed to catch up to him when the two of you got out of the community centre, but you almost had to jog to stay beside him as he strode down the street. The man moved like a spooked jungle cat.
Your familiarity with the surrounding landscape quickly faded as he led you through winding back streets and you realised, far too late, that you’d followed a complete stranger who was in therapy for unknown reasons and could easily overpower you into a completely unfamiliar setting.
It was strange, but there was something about him you couldn’t quite put your finger on, something that made you trust him- and you hadn’t trusted anyone for years.
Turning a final corner, you were greeted by a flickering red neon sign, a sight that was somehow even more depressing in the daylight. Bucky tugged the door open and stepped aside, holding it open so you could enter first.
You appreciated the gesture but one glance inside made you really wish you had someone to hide behind.
Every intimidating figure in the place turned to glare at the timid-looking newbie, with clothes and hair still damp, quaking slightly in the doorway. Bucky planted a reassuring hand on your back and led you over to the far corner, where you sequestered yourself into a booth.
‘They’re friendlier than they look,’ he took a quick glance around the room, ‘probably. I’ll get some drinks.’
You swallowed thickly, not exactly thrilled at the prospect of being left alone here for any stretch of time- granted, it was ever so slightly less horrific than the coffee morning, but at least there you didn’t have to worry about getting shanked by Marjorie.
After a few minutes, Bucky strolled back to the table with two tumblers half-full of golden liquid.
Shit.
You really, really hated whiskey, but he’d paid, so you figured it would just be unreasonably rude to complain.
‘So, who died?’
‘What?’
Your confused expression made him chuckle slightly into his glass. ‘Your bereavement?’
‘Oh. OH. My- uh, my-’ You stumbled over yourself for a few seconds before giving up. ‘My ability to think of convincing lies on the spot, apparently.’
‘No shit.’ He glanced over at you and stayed quiet for a few seconds, obviously intrigued at the real reason you were in therapy but not wanting to pry too hard. ‘S'alright, we don’t have to talk about it. Can just sit here in silen-’
‘It was my ex.’
Both eyebrows shot up his forehead. ‘What’d you do to him?’
‘Don’t worry, I didn’t kill him or anything. Even though he probably deserved it.’
‘Did he treat you bad?’
‘He just took everything out on me. Words turned into fists, then one day I just lost it and-’ He was listening to you intently, a flicker of pity in his eyes. ‘I set his car on fire.’
He was clearly trying to hide a slightly impressed smirk. ‘That’s not so bad.’
‘And his motorbike.’
‘Still, not too-’
‘And pushed them both into the East River.’
‘Well, I-’
‘On his birthday.’
Bucky nodded, wearing a pained expression as he did his best to smother his laughter. You couldn’t help but giggle at the shapes his face was making, which set him off, and the two of you sat quietly chuckling at each other for the next few minutes.
In all fairness you’d always thought it was a pretty funny story. The memory of that underwater metal wreckage never failed to make you grin to yourself but, unfortunately, the judge didn’t really see it that way.
A comfortable silence fell between the two of you. You were just on the brink of building up enough courage to ask about his backstory, but he piped up before you could.
‘So what happened to him?’ His tone had suddenly shifted down into one of grave severity, the change in atmosphere throwing you off a little.
‘Well, nothing, really. I had no evidence against him, he was never stupid enough to hit me where he’d make a mark.’
‘And where is he now?’
‘No idea. Kinda hoping I’ll never find out.’
‘Let me know if you do.’ Bucky finished off his drink and glanced over to yours, noticing it untouched. ‘You’ve been nursing that for a while, not a whiskey drinker?’
‘I didn’t want to say anything…’
‘S’alright, I should’ve asked.’
He swiftly grabbed both glasses and barrelled over to the bar, downing your entire glassful on the short walk over without so much as wincing.
Your story seemed to have gotten under his skin a little. You hoped you hadn’t said something to upset him, but you figured that was definitely a possibility considering the whole foot-in-mouth thing you had going on today.
Maybe now would be a good time to distract him by asking for his story. Besides, you were still incredibly intrigued at the series of events that landed a guy like him in the same therapy office as you.
He eventually got back the table and placed a bright orange drink, complete with a colourful straw and cocktail umbrella, in front of you.
Bless him, he tried.
As he took a seat, you immediately noticed how tense his shoulders were, and how he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw for no discernible reason.
‘You alright? You seem a little agitated.’ He smiled slightly and nodded, taking a long sip from his glass. ‘Well, I’m ready to hear that long story now if you’re ready to tell it.’
‘Nah, you don’t want to hear it. It’s boring long.’
‘Can I be the judge of that?’
‘Honestly, it’s not much to hear.’ You gave him your best prompting-without-being-too-nosey look. ‘I just have some stuff to sort out.’
‘No shit. We’ve all got stuff to sort out, that’s kinda the point.’
He let out an amused sigh. ‘I’ve got amends to make, s’all.’
‘Amends? You sure you’re not in AA?’
‘Pretty sure, to be honest I don’t even know what that is.’
The two of you started chuckling again, which was only made worse when you braved a sip of your orange monstrosity and winced so hard that your face almost folded in half. You should’ve known this place wouldn’t make decent cocktails.
He changed the topic of conversation after that and you decided to just go with it- he obviously wasn’t comfortable disclosing details of his past to you yet, you didn’t want to make things awkward by pressing him any further.
A few god-awful drinks later, you were teetering on drunkenness, but he seemed absolutely no different. He just sat and happily listened to your tipsy ramblings, a fond smile plastered on his face. The two of you somehow ended up staying until closing time.
After being kicked out, you followed Bucky into the street and suddenly remembered that you had no idea where you were. Drunk and lost in the dark back-streets of New York was not a good situation for anyone to be in.
‘So, to get back to the community centre, I go…’ You spun around a few times before stopping and blindly pointing a finger down the first alley you saw. ‘This way?’
Bucky shook his head at you, endlessly amused. ‘Not even close. C’mon, I’ll walk you home.’
‘Appreciate it, definitely wouldn’t have survived on my own.’
‘I figured.’
He offered you an arm, probably just to make sure you stayed upright, and led you back through the winding streets. It was a long walk and the breeze was bitterly chilly, but his company made it bearable. You eventually managed to get your bearings and direct the two of you towards your apartment.
He hung around by the door while you fished around in your bag, nervously clearing his throat and looking as though he was building up to something. The sight of keys in your hand eventually made him pipe up.
‘So I was, uh- just wondering if you wanted to do this again sometime? Maybe I could take your telephone number?’
‘Ah, my cellular telephone number?’ You gave him a teasing smirk, slowly becoming more and more convinced that the mind of a pensioner was packed somewhere into that hard body. ‘Sure, I’d be up for that.’
You checked yourself for a second as he reached his phone out and started tapping at it with his index finger. Was this a bad idea? After that last asshole your mom was desperate for you to bag a normal, but every normal guy you’d ever dated ended up boring the hell out of you…
Fuck it, you had nothing to lose at this point.
You grabbed his phone out of his hand and opened up the contacts app, seeing a worryingly small number of names appear on the screen, one of them being simply ‘Asshole’. Ignoring all your better judgements, you put in your details and handed it back.
The two of you then found yourselves awkwardly standing opposite each other, neither of you quite sure of the appropriate way to say goodbye. He didn’t look like a hugger, so maybe a handshake? No, this wasn’t the end of a fucking business meeting. You couldn’t bring yourself to even attempt a high-five.
You’d been point-blank staring at him for a few seconds now.
‘See you around.’ You gave an awkward wave as you turned to unlock your door.
‘Yeah, I hope so.’
You hopped in the door and quickly closed it behind you so he wouldn’t see the child-like grin his response elicited.
You hoped so too.
—
Your next therapy session went surprisingly well. The doc got a couple sneaky guilt-trips in about you leaving the coffee morning early, but once you admitted that you’d spent the evening having deep chats with someone new she perked up immediately and seemed extremely pleased.
You chose not to divulge that the chats had involved some covert flirting with another of her patients, and that you’d been pretty frequently texting with that individual ever since, cause that seemed like a detail that might tip her over the edge- but overall it was a big win.
The session came to an end and, same as last time, the doc asked you to send James in. He jumped to his feet when he saw you in the doorway, his face lighting up.
‘Your turn Buck, I left her in a good mood for you.’
‘Thanks,’ he laughed a little awkwardly through his words, ‘but I’m sure I’ll ruin that pretty quickly.’
‘I don’t doubt it.’
You gave him a wide grin as you shuffled past, semi-intentionally brushing your arm against his. Just as you were about to reach the door his voice stopped you in your tracks.
‘Hey, are you free later? We could grab a coffee? Or something else, if you don’t like coffee I mean, I’m not that big a-’
‘Sounds great.’ You smiled reassuringly and gestured to the couch. ‘I’ll wait here.’
‘Alright, I’ll try to make it quick.’
‘Hope you don’t make a habit of that.’
You got a mischievous eyebrow raise in response to that comment, not bad for a shy guy.
The two of you ended up spending the whole day together. You had a coffee and walked through the park, eventually sitting down on a bench and wasting away the daylight hours just talking.
Once it was almost dark, Bucky plucked up some courage from god-knows-where and actually invited you back to his apartment for a beer. You were very bloody shocked but it was quite possibly the fastest yes you’d ever given anyone.
You felt a little apprehensive as he started leading you down a couple seedy-looking back alleys, but to be fair your apartment wasn’t exactly in the nicest part of the city, so you couldn’t judge.
That was, until an unsavoury looking figure emerged from the darkness and started heading straight towards you.
Immediately, like it was instinctual, Bucky planted himself in front of you and squared his shoulders. The two of them threw a couple aggressive words back and forth but you couldn’t make them out over the sound of thumping in your ears. You were terrible with confrontation, you just hoped Bucky was as tough as he looked.
As it turns out, his looks were just the half of it.
It all happened in a flash, before you could blink Bucky had this guy pinned against the wall with one arm, his feet dangling above the floor like some kind of shit-scared marionette. You probably would’ve found it a little funny if your fight-or-flight instincts weren’t registering off the charts.
Then, just like that, he was gone. He scurried off as soon as Bucky released his grip.
A pair or strong hands came to rest either side of your face. ‘You alright?’
‘I’m good, yeah.’ You were more than good actually, you were feeling some kind of way after that display. ‘We should keep moving, I’d really like that beer now.’
You laced your arm tightly through his, both of you quick-marching the rest of the way back.
His apartment was… interesting.
It was pretty small, but that definitely wasn’t the issue- the issue was how completely bare it was. The living room had a small couch, a TV and, for some reason, a set of bed sheets laid out on the floor.
Again, you weren’t exactly in a position to judge, but this really didn’t look like a healthy living space.
You perched on the couch while Bucky grabbed the drinks, not bothering to shift yourself over when he sat down next to you, his thigh pressed against yours.
‘Nice place.’
‘Thanks, but you don’t have to lie. Maybe we should go to your place next time.’
The corner of your mouth curled into a faint smile. ‘Next time?’
A new kind of atmosphere fell between the two of you.
He slid his arm across the back of the couch behind you, your bottles clinking together as he leant towards you. Slowly, cautiously, his lips pressed against yours. You could tell he was holding back a little, maybe he didn’t want to come on too strong, but it was still one of the nicest moments you’d ever had with a guy.
He pulled away, and you decided you couldn’t keep your curiosity at bay anymore.
‘Who are you, James?’
‘What d’you mean?’
He knew exactly what you meant, you could tell by the look in his eyes, but it seemed like he was willing you to spell it out for him. ‘You’re unbelievably strong, you can hear literally everything, you’re cagey about anything to do with your past and you have this whole apartment but you choose to sleep in sheets on the living room floor. You’re like a riddle that I can’t even begin to solve.’
‘If I told you, you wouldn’t want to be around me anymore.’
‘You think?’ A sceptical eyebrow started to creep up your forehead. ‘I really don’t have a license to be picky.’
‘What you did is nothing in comparison to the things I’ve done.’
That threw you a little. ‘You make it sound like I’m in danger or something.’
You were half-joking, but the look on his face sent real waves of fear through you. A heavy silence swept through the room, Bucky’s eyes were fixed on the bottle he was gripping tightly, the muscles in his forearms flexing hard.
Without warning, he shot up to his feet. ‘You should go. I’ll call you a cab.’
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry I just-’
‘It wasn’t anything you did, it’s me.’
Alright, up until now you were very willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, but that comment was enough to make your mood flip entirely.
‘It’s not you it’s me? Brilliant.’
‘No, really-’
‘Don’t bother. See you around, Buck.’
You put your untouched beer on the floor and left the apartment as quickly as you could, cursing how stupid you’d been for ever thinking you could trust a guy again. You’d shared something with him so personal that you hadn’t even told your fucking therapist, and now he was brushing you off with that shit?
It figures, even the ones that seemed kind and vulnerable were just assholes deep down.
You got home, got into bed and lay there in the dark for hours. You could still smell the stale cigarette smoke, still hear heavy breathing beside you, still feel the sting of tears in your eyes as you silently cried yourself to sleep once more.
—
You ignored at least twenty calls off him the next day. You hoped he’d get the message, but he obviously didn’t, cause he showed up at your door that evening.
After spotting him out of the window you immediately decided that you weren’t home. You didn’t need some useless apology or explanation, plus your eyes were way too post-cry puffy to cover up with any amount of makeup.
Unfortunately, it turned out that he was just as stubborn as you. When banging on the door for a good twenty minutes hadn’t worked he decided to start shouting.
‘Y/n, I know you’re in there. Open up. Talk to me.’
Talk about what? You’d already established that he’s just another troubled, emotionally unavailable asshole who you’ll regret ever meeting after a couple months together- there was nothing else to talk about.
You drew the curtains and put your headphones in, he was the neighbour’s problem after that.
When you went downstairs the next morning to get the mail, you found a scribbled note at the bottom of the pile, written on the back of a receipt for protein bars and scotch.
I’ll be at the bar all night, if you don’t show I’ll leave you alone.
No. You weren’t going.
No way would you put yourself through all this again for the sake of some asshole. You were better on your own, happier even. Sure, he was nice and handsome and kind, but he was brandishing more red flags than a Chinese naval fleet.
You weren’t going. That was it.
—
You got to the bar at around 8pm.
As soon as you walked in you spotted Bucky, hunched in the same corner as last time, brooding. His gaze didn’t waver from his drink until you were right in front of him.
Once he noticed you, he stood up so fast that his legs whacked against the table, a loud thud echoing through the room. ‘Shit, sorry. I didn’t think you’d come.’
‘Neither did I.’ You flopped yourself down opposite him with a sigh. ‘You’ve got two minutes.’
You’d never seen someone look so on edge, his body looking uncomfortably tense as he lowered himself back down. He looked at you in silence for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and starting.
‘In that case, I should probably start with this.’
He slowly and theatrically removed his right glove, revealing the weathered hand you’d seen back at the coffee morning, the whole performance prompting a slightly puzzled look from you.
Then took off the glove on his left hand. You couldn’t believe your eyes.
It was… metal?
A burnished, mechanical hand was just lying on the table in front of you, motionless, glinting slightly under the dim light of the bar. He just stared at you, obviously trying to gauge your reaction.
‘Alright.’ You nodded slowly. ‘Three minutes.’
You saw the relief spread over his face when he realised you were teasing.
Then he started talking.
Your mouth was probably hanging open the whole time and you had to stop him to get parts repeated every couple of minutes, but you believed every word. Who the hell would make this up?
Besides, he was sitting there waving around a metal arm, so you couldn’t exactly discredit that part.
Finally, he finished.
‘So… what do you think?’
‘I think I’m sitting here on a date with a fucking pensioner.’ He laughed, obviously reassured by the fact you hadn’t made a run for it yet. ‘Jesus. I’m glad you trust me with all this but I gotta admit, that’s a hell of a lot to take in. ’
‘I know, but the doc thinks I need to open up and trust people more. You’re the only person I’ve enjoyed the company of since I lost my best friend so, if trust is what it takes not to lose you, then I’m an open book.’
Well, that hit you like a punch in the gut. It look a great deal of self-restraint for you not to start welling up.
You reached your hands over the table to meet his. You had to admit it was a little strange, his right hand being warm and fleshy while his left was so firm and cold, but it was definitely something you could get used to. He looked a little insecure about it, obviously he’d never been touched like that since losing his arm.
‘I still think you’re a good guy, Buck.’ By the look on his face you could tell you’d just given him a matching punch in the gut. ‘Granted, this whole situation is a little more complex than I’d anticipated, but I really enjoy your company too. I don’t want to give that up.’
He smiled at you for a few seconds, hands turning over to lightly grip yours, thumbs brushing over your knuckles. ‘So, I don’t suppose there’s any chance you want to come back to my place?’
‘I don’t know, are you gonna go all weird again?’
‘I mean, I just told you I’m over a hundred years old and you’re still here, I don’t think it gets weirder than this.’
‘Good point. Let’s get out of here.’
The walk back was less treacherous this time, and it was nice knowing that Bucky probably felt much more at ease- mainly cause he didn’t have to worry about how he was going to justify keeping a long-sleeved shirt and gloves on in the sack.
You eventually found yourself back in his living room, standing over his unmade floor-bed, with a few interesting thoughts swimming through your mind.
Was this your set-up for the evening? Did he have an actual bed? Did he even need to sleep? What would it feel like if he used that metal arm on you while you were-
‘You alright?’
‘Hmm?’ Bucky pulled you away from your eager fantasies. ‘Oh, I’m good, just trying to figure out the logistics here.’
He looked from you, down to the floor-bed, then back to you. ‘Yeah, sorry, I do have a bed it’s just… not made.’
With a chuckle and a head shake in his direction, you gathered up all the loose sheets from the floor and headed in the general direction you guessed for his bedroom, hearing his soft footsteps padding behind you.
Making the bed was a task. He clearly had no idea what he was doing, watching him try to put the cover on a pillow was like watching a gorilla try to crack the enigma code. It was almost as though he was a frozen relic from a time when women did all the housework- oh wait.
The two of you finally managed to cobble together something that looked reasonably comfortable.
‘Nice job, soldier.’
His gaze met yours, eyes darkening slightly. ‘Call me that again and I’ll have to do something about it.’
Well, this was new.
You’d met timid, stuttering Bucky and you’d met sincere, pouring-his-heart-out Bucky, but you’d certainly never met intense sex-eyes Bucky.
You fucking liked it though.
‘Oh yeah?’ You took a step towards him, doing everything you could to stay composed and not melt all over the floor. ‘Prove it, soldier.’
‘Right.’
Before you could register what was happening you’d been lifted clean off the floor and thrown pretty unceremoniously onto the bed. The sensations of different parts of his body pressed against yours made you dizzy, the smell of him all over the sheets mingled with the sweetness of his warm breath filling all your senses and finally chasing of that fucking cigarette smell for good.
‘Wait, hang on.’ You managed to sit yourself up, Bucky sitting back on his heels but not letting his face move more than a few inches away from yours. ‘So was the last time for you, in like, the 40′s?’
‘Sounds worse than it is, I was frozen for most of the time.’
You almost laughed out loud at him. ‘Wow, your gauge for good and bad is really messed up.’
‘That’s what you get for jumping into bed with a guy you met in a therapist’s office.’
‘Fair enough.’
You grabbed him by the shirt and pulled his face back towards yours, now pretty excited to bring him up to speed with all the bedroom developments he’d missed out on during the second half of the 20th century.
Poor guy probably hadn’t even tried anything other than missionary.
As you were lying there, with his face buried in your neck, a wonderful thought dawned on you. Finally, you’d found something worth living for, something that would let you move on from all the shit in your past.
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