#not sure

death-and-the-lady13:

how tall are you guys (for hugging purposes)?

sevenrrrings:

overalls or dresses? garden or meadow? fruit juice or smoothies? rainbows or gentle rain? roses or sunflowers? chilly sunrise or warm sunset? platonic kisses or hugging? 80s pop or 70s funk? paris or thailand? ocean waves or active rivers? peaches or blueberries? hiking or skiing? amusement parks or thrift shopping? black cats or golden retrievers? late fall or early spring? neon signs or city lights? nature or space? tea or iced coffee? bold lipstick or clear lipgloss? laughing joyfully or smiling softly?

Request: (a s u p e r old request in my inbox-sorry!) Byron x Spencer Sutherland’s Talk

Y/N was taking her time carefully tucking her hair into her coat as we got up to leave the busy restaurant we’d picked for our weekly dinner. It’s been our tradition to catch up over dinner at least once a week, sometimes friends joined us, or a girlfriend if I had any at the time. Y/N rarely brought along her boyfriends-but then again, she didn’t date much.

“Hey did you break up with that guy you were seeing? The one with the tattoo?” I ask, suddenly remembering that she had mentioned a new boyfriend a couple weeks ago.

“No-still together, why?” Y/N zips her coat up and she slightly resembles a marshmellow with how puffy her layers made her.

“You didn’t talk about him once during dinner,” I wrap my own scarf around my neck just as we head out. “I thought maybe you broke up. Remember that time you were dating Ryan? Or Bryan? You wouldn’t shut up about how he took you on his-“

“Brian. With an I. He was clingy. But anyway we’re still in the early stages of dating soo, you know how it goes.”

“Yeah, the way it generally goes Y/N, is you would be crazy for him right now.” I tease. “I would be sick and tired of hearing about him. I would want to throw myself in front of the next car coming down the road, ending my misery as you detailed your love life like you did with Brian with an i.”

“Well not that it’s any of your business!” She shoots me a look to say she was annoyed at my poking. “But I’m just trying to stay level-headed in case he doesn’t feel that intensely! I don’t want to go too crazy.”

“That’s your issue, woman!” I give in to the urge to push her and she bounces, in all her layers, against the storefront just as I expected. We immediately burst out in laughter, our previous conversation temporarily forgotten.

“At least I’m warm in here!” She shouts to anyone nearby who may be judging her marshmellow resemblance. I resist the urge to push her again and quickly wipe the tears from my eyes before stuffing my hands back into my warm pockets as we walk to the tube.

“You know, love isn’t about staying level-headed,” I continue. “It’s not really love if you can stay level-headed.”

“Well watch me Mr. Love Guru. I’ll be the first level-headed lover out there.” Y/N juts her chin out.

I sigh and just leave her be as we reach the underground. The ride home mostly consists of Y/N trying to wriggle out of a couple layers, complaining about how hot she was getting and all the while I laugh at my best friend’s crazy.

•••

Y/N’s hair is spread out around her, her bare shoulders uncovered from my white duvet tucked around her. She’s so still as she sleeps, her slow breathing as peaceful as the still morning around us. I study her face in the dim lighting as dawn approaches outside my window. I’d never noticed how graceful the curves of her face looked or how mesmerizing she was.

She shifts in bed, now facing me. How had I never noticed how breath-taking she was?

Her eyes flutter open like she could tell I was staring and she smiles sleepily when she sees me.

“Last night was fun,” she mumbles into the duvet, still too tired to form proper words. The intimate vulnerability between us fills me with happiness. I was so in love with this woman.

“Yeah,” I pull Y/N closer, hyperaware of her skin and her warmth and the feeling of her as she presses closer, wrapping her leg over mine. I kiss the top of her head when suddenly, a loud noise blares from somewhere in the house.

“Do you hear that? What is that?” I ask Y/N but she remains peacefully sleeping. Was I going crazy? “I’m gonna go check-“

I’m jolted with the realization that it was my phone beside me blaring out my ringtone. Just as I check the screen through bleary eyes, it stops. Who was calling me this early?

I turn back around in bed, now silencing my phone, and attempt to fall back asleep. But the pieces of my dream start to come back to me and my eyes widen as I remember. That was kind of a fucked up dream. I didn’t even like Y/N like that let alone love her…I was not in love with her-

Yet I can’t get the feeling of her out of my head as I close my eyes again. Her sleepy smile and the curve of her lips as well as the curve of her hips as I held her in the morning of my dream.

“Stop it!” I say out loud. “She’s your best friend you idiot.”

•••

I pace the lobby of Y/N’s building, nervous about seeing her. It had been a few days since that dream and I thought at first it would fade as all dreams did but this one didn’t seem to want to leave my mind. The harder I tried not to think about it, the more I was reminded of it. I distracted myself-even went clubbing with friends to try to get it out but every time I would remember flashes of her and it drove me crazy. I didn’t know if I could see her the same way.

Y/N finally steps off the lift and I spot her before she sees me. I was sure she’d worn that dress before but suddenly, I feel different seeing her in it. The low cut of it threatens my attention and the fit of it just takes me back to the dream.

“There you are! Why are you just standing there you weirdo!” Y/N’s voice snaps me back into reality. “Let’s go-we’re already late.”

“Well that’s not really my fault,” I find my voice, walking ahead and holding the door open for her. “One of us changed their outfit twenty times and it wasn’t me.”

“Whatever,” she gets into my car parked out front. “Now listen, this is a big deal. It’s not just an office party but a very strategic political play and I have to make a good impression…”

My mind wanders as Y/N details how I had to behave.

That stupid dream-it was just a dream! It was a PG dream but my thoughts were far from PG. Y/N was my best friend but…I know I can’t go back to how it was.

“Are you listening!” Y/N’s voice cuts through.

“Yeah yeah,” I glance over at her and quickly look away. “They’re the same rules my mother would tell me: behave myself, laugh at all the lame jokes, never leave your side. Blah blah blah-“

“Byron!” She scolds. “This is a big deal. Please take it seriously!”

“I am,” I turn in to the venue and find an empty parking spot. “Don’t worry, you’ll get the promotion. Just relax a little bit? Take a chill pill or whatever.”

“I’ll need a drink not a pill for that,” she allows a small smile to grace her lips.

“Oh come on! You can give me a better smile than that,” I tease and it’s enough for a full Y/N smile to shine through. And my breath catches again. This was going to be the most difficult night ever.

“Have I got something in my teeth?” Y/N suddenly rips the visor down to peer into its tiny mirror. “What are you staring at.”

“Nothing,” I close the visor gently. “You just look…really good tonight. Like you’re confident and beautiful and you’re ready for a big promotion.”

“Oh stop it,” she opens her door with a smile before turning back to me. “I do look good don’t I?”

“Let’s not get carried away,” I usher her out and we walk arm in arm to the party.

•••

“I don’t know if I should just wait a couple months when I move into my new flat,” Y/N and I sit across from the other at our weekly dinner that week. She still hadn’t invited her boyfriend even though I told her to. I thought maybe seeing him with her would help me get over my new obsession but she said something about him being busy.

“Yeah,” I respond absentmindedly.

“Yeah but if I get one now…”

I’d been distracted all night, barely able to respond to Y/N. It was painful to be so casual when all I wanted to do was stop talking and kiss her instead. It didn’t help she’d worn a deep red lipstick tonight and my eyes kept wandering to the way her lips moved when she talked, when she smiled. Even when she scowled as she was doing just now. Shit.

“What’s going on with you?” Y/N snaps her fingers. “Have you not been sleeping?”

“Huh, yeah. I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine. You’ve been acting kind of weird.”

“I’m fine-really!” I insist, putting a forkful of food into my mouth so I don’t have to talk. I wasn’t fine, my best friend was suddenly everything to me and I just couldn’t give up now that I was feeling love. Now that all I wanted to do was just kiss her.

“You’re always so distracted whenever I talk,” she pouts. “Is something wrong? Ooh does Byron have a new crush?”

“No!” I say, my anxiety making my voice a little louder than intended. “It’s fine-I’m fine!”

“Why are you getting angry huh?” She presses my buttons ever so gently.

“I’m not,” I try to settle down but the fustration I felt with myself creeps into my voice. “I’m notangry.”

“Well that was a convincing argument,” she rolls her eyes, sarcasm dripping from her voice. “You know, you barely even talk to me anymore-I know something’s wrong.”

“All we do is talk!” I burst out. When we should be kissing, I want to add. But I’d already said too much.

“Well…what else are we supposed to do?” She raises an eyebrow at my outburst.

“I-nothing.” Shit. “Just forget everything.”

“I don’t want to forget it. Am I talking too much? If you have an issue with me or something just say it.” Insecurity seeps into Y/N’s voice and I hate myself for it.

“Maybe we should just cut the night short,” I say, getting up. “I’ll talk to you later.”

I leave enough on the table to cover us-an apology without saying one. I felt like a dick walking out but I had to or I was going to say something I could never take back.

•••

A few days later, Y/N shows up at my flat without saying so. I’m caught off guard when I open the door for her. She acts like nothing happened, asking me how I was doing and where we should go for that week’s dinner. I play along, feeling more confused as she makes herself comfortable.

“Are you…mad?” I finally break the facade when there’s a pause in our friendly conversation. I couldn’t take it much longer.

“About?” She raises her eyebrow. And I suddenly see it in her face-this was her plan all along. To get me to bring it up. I can’t help the laugh that comes out-I should have known better.

“The other night.”

“I’m not mad, just confused,” she says. “I still don’t know why you got so upset.”

“Okay good.” I try to gather a safe explanation.

“What did you mean all we do is talk?” She asks again. I battle between just saying what I was feeling and making up an excuse that I was tired but before I can think of one Y/N interrupts with, “Don’t think I don’t know your excuse-making face. I want the truth Byron-I’m tired of you being so weird.”

“Fine. This is going to sound crazy though,” I say after a lengthy silence. I was just going to tell her. She was my best friend-a stupid dream shouldn’t come between us. I had to stop this now.

“I doubt it will but go on.”

My eyes scan her waiting face, the set of her jaw and the softness of her lips. Her eyes bore into mine, expecting an answer.

“A couple weeks ago I had this…dream. Andyouwereinitand-“

“Oh my god!” Y/N’s shout stops me mid-sentence. “Is that what this is all about?”

She throws her head back and cackles with laughter.

“Wait! Why are you laughing?” I ask. “It’s not funny! I’m trying to explain-”

“Oh my god! It’s extremely funny!” She says through her laughter. “Was I at least any good in your dream?” She asks clutching her stomach.

“I-wait. So you’re not angry?” She didn’t care about the dream?

“Angry?” She tries to hold in her laughter but it turns to giggles. “Byron why would I be angry over something you dreamt about? I’m too gorgeous-you can’t help it right?”

“Alright that’s enough,” I roll my eyes. “Let’s pack your ego back up, it’s uninvited.”

“So tell me, how bad was it?” She ignores me. “Tell me!”

“I-it-we…this is weird,” I struggle to continue. “Nothing reallyhappened.”

“Oh,” she finally sits up, appearing a little more sane. “So then…why are you acting so weird?”

“I thought it would fade away after a couple days but the dream sort of-well it made me realise…” I can’t bring myself to say it.

“Oh no,” Y/N shifts closer to grab my hand. “Byron we-“

“I know! I know. We’re best friends. That’s why I didn’t want to say anything-I thought it would go away eventually but you were just too damn curious to let it go.”

“How long have you felt like…that?” Y/N asks gently.

“Never!” I cry. “I swear I’m not some cliche best friend. You’ve only ever been my best friend. That’s how I’ve always seen you! But I don’t know anymore. And it’s stupid anyway. It’ll probably just pass.”

“So wait, when you said all we do is talk?”

“You’re still on me about that?” I chuckle. When she looks at me seriously I sigh. “I wanted to be kissing you instead-happy?”

I remove my hand from hers and get up. I needed the space.

“Byron-“

“You don’t have to let me down easy or anything Y/N. I’ll be alright. And anyway, you have a boyfriend so it’s not like I’m-“

“We broke up,” she interrupts.

“What?” I look at her finally and she’s stood up too. “When?”

“After you told me the whole level-headed thing-I realised you were right.”

“Oh.” I continue looking her way and when she looks at me, it’s exactly the way she looked in my dreams. Intimate, her guard down. Had we both felt it? Was there something brewing under the surface all along? Were we both just waiting for the other to make a move?

“So,” Y/N moves closer to me.

“So,” I mimic.

“All we do is talk…?” She raises an eyebrow.

I smile at her hidden question, reaching out to touch her. My hands find the same waist from my dream I kept replaying. She feels exactly as I thought and so much better at the same time. She takes her time as slips her hands around my neck.

“All we do is talk,” I grin. “When it’s our bodies that should be having the conversation.”

“That was way too cheesy,” she groans, her face mirroring my own grin. “But I do like the commitment to the whole talking m-”

“Still talking,” my words are minimal as I pull her closer. “Stop talking.” I mumble but even then, we can’t stop smiling against each other.

When we manage to sober up enough to actually kiss each other, it’s hard to believe she’s the same woman I was convinced was nothing more than my best friend a few weeks ago. The same one I was trying to avoid for weeks. Kissing her is bliss. And now, the absolute last thing I want to do is talk talk talk.

adam parrish provides some of the best non-disaster bisexual representation. that boy is calculating & perfect. you’d never seen adam parrish in a rush or late for anything. you’d never catch adam parrish not knowing the answer to a question. adam knows everything he is NOT a disaster. now gansey on the other hand, said tropes are tropes for a reason and i will be the biggest bisexual disaster you’ve ever seen.

would you be so kind — ruby x moody

Ruby ran through the forest as fast as her legs allowed her to. She had waited until her house had fallen in a peaceful silence before going out in her bare feet. The girl knew what her mother would do if she were to find out about her little night adventure. But it was worth it. Definitely worth it.

She arrived at her destination fifteen minutes later. Her feet were absolutely sore and yet she felt so alive. Ruby picked up a little stone and threw at the window. Or tried. It hit the wall right besides it.

“Moody!” It was a whisper, she didn’t want to wake up his entire family. And so she picked another stone and threw it. Unfortunately, the poor guy had just opened the window and it hit him in the forehead.

“Are you trying to murder me, Ruby Gillis?” He was half asleep and a little cut could be seen in the exact same spot that the stone had hit him. Regardless of it all, a bright smile was plastered on his lips.

Ruby laughed and shaked her head. Never in a million years would she had try that. A motion of her hand indicated him to come down to meet her and the boy rushed downstairs.

“You do know it’s well past midnight, right?” It was a whisper, they were way too close to the house to risk speaking any louder.

“I know but… I wanted… I needed to see you” she scrunched her nose, there was something that she just needed to tell him “I’ve been thinking about Anne’s article. About how us women are whole since the day we were born. About how no one can dictate our thoughts or actions. Our minds are just ours, we own them. But… but that doesn’t mean we can’t share them. It does not mean we can’t share our thoughts, and ideas, and dreams… And… And I want to share mine. I want to share them with you. I want you to know what bothers me and what makes me happy and what’s my take on the world. And I want to know your opinion. I want us to share the highs and lows of what’s left of our teen years. And I want all of this because I deeply care about you and I really want us to be equals.”

To say that Moody was shocked would be an understatement. No one in his seventeen years of life had ever told him anything even remotely similar. Ruby wasn’t talking about a bland courtship or a planned engagement. No. She was talking of a relationship that implied not only love or infatuation, but trust, respect and vulnerability. And he was all in.

“There’s nothing that would make me happier than to be your equal, Ruby Gillis. Maybe a new banjo…” at the joke, she rolled her eyes and laughed. She felt so good, so free. And most importantly she wasn’t feeling like she was giving her heart away for someone to crush it. No. She felt like she was giving as much as she was receiving. And there was no feeling more wonderful than that.

what-is-going-on-inside-my-head:

Person A: What is love? I really don’t know. I read about it in books and fanfics, I saw love all around, I know stories of my friends and love their love, ha. But I never felt it by myself. It doesn’t make me unhappy, no, but…what if I’m not good person, cause I don’t feel like other people? What if it makes someone sad? I don’t know. If someone will ask me “what is love”, I will sing “Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no moreeee”. Then we sing this song till the end, laugh and he or she forget about question. I will breathe a sigh of relief. Cause I don’t know the answer.

Person B: okaaaay, enough coffee for you, buddy

Person A: I like the word “partners” for describing relationship between two people. Cause…just think about it…“We are partners”. In what? Partners in love, partners in crime, platonic life partners, maybe partners at work? Or all of this? Nobody knows.

You want to keep your relationship secret? Use “partners”.

You want to laugh and confuse someone? Use “partners” and little sly smile.

Person B: What the…Who brought this coffee to you? Gosh

Person A: What is love? I really don’t know. I read about it in books and fanfics, I saw love all around, I know stories of my friends and love their love, ha. But I never felt it by myself. It doesn’t make me unhappy, no, but…what if I’m not good person, cause I don’t feel like other people? What if it makes someone sad? I don’t know. If someone will ask me “what is love”, I will sing “Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no moreeee”. Then we sing this song till the end, laugh and he or she forget about question. I will breathe a sigh of relief. Cause I don’t know the answer.

Person B: okaaaay, enough coffee for you, buddy

Sometimes I think I feel like everything with too much intensity, it doesn’t matter if they are actual things, people or just feelings. At first I thought I should be proud of myself for that, but years have passed and lately I am starting to wonder if it is a trait I should keep or try to hide as I have always done.

I don’t know what this new update for Tumblr on mobile is, but the reblog-button looks wrong and I don’t like it.

Looks like… .

I don’t know if its just me or I feel that he looks like Derek Hale (Taylor Hoechlin) in Teen Wolf. Just saying.

coraclavia:

the Voyager theme, but make it angsty

when the fate of humanity depends on you

back then as a kid i didn’t understand wtf was going on in half life and just thought everything was so cool and epic and it really inspired me along with other valve games growing up but now that i got to experience it its like all this weight just dropped on me i just have many feelings for this franchise and just how heavy everything is for gordon cuz the fate of humanity literally depends on him and the resistance; and now im having second hand existential crisis bc this all happened at the wrong time for gordon so it seemed like it was ‘his fault’ in the first place please im gonna cry give gordon a break from all these occurrences and coincidences kdfjdkf

but hey now i get to make fanart to make up for the times i didnt post art about this game throughout my entire childhood and cry about gordon so have a man and his crowbar.

Here is a bit from a new Loki fic I am working on. It takes place after the battle of New York. A psychiatrist and trauma specialist has been tasked with debriefing Loki and determining whether or not he is a continued threat.

“I fail to see what this has to do with the invasion,” Loki evaded her question.

“Forget the invasion for a moment. It must have crossed your mind. Just that day Thor had led you all to the Jotunheim to slay the Frost Giants. He tried to take on the entire race, wipe out their evil forever, as you said. All of that hate, all of that killing fervor, directed at a group that you were suddenly included in.”

Loki scoffed and looked away, but inside he was in turmoil.