#onlyingotham

Yo I was on AO3 and someone’s writing this fic about how nightwing turns into a vampire and kills his whole family-

It’s either nightwing wrote that or someone’s down BAD

It’s like I turn the corner and BAM! NEW WAYNE! NEW AL GHUL! NEW ADOPTED TEEN! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF YOU

Open paragraph RP but I expect you to make it not-boring as possible GO:

Green sat on a curb during the middle of the day in Gotham. It was the perfect day: Gotham Academy let out its students for a two week spring break, and her favorite brand of ice cream was on sale.

She scooped out some chocolate cookie crunch and enjoyed the shining sun and the chirping bird. What could possibly go wrong?

Uh so I’ve been told by an al ghul that @teagrayson is no longer kidnapped and is in the hospital??

@that-one-gotham-kid I think I’m here but I don’t know where to go. Are you here yet?

I’m just hoping we don’t have a Ric Grayson situation on our hands

kit-the-nonbinary-wayne:

tambourmite:

✨Aunty Tam’s Tips✨

#2

Watch your mouth

• The villains in this city may rob banks, kidnap ppl, or essentially cause chaos
• But they will f#ck you up if you say or do something… controversial?
• If you some wack ass N#zis Supporter, the Joker will run you up
• AndAll the vigilantes will turn a blinds eye on you (Batman may show up, but only after ur severely beaten up)
• If you are Homophobic? Specifically Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn will make your life a living hell
• If you’re racist, You will probably get jumped by Red hood, Bane, and Baby Robin, etc. (The Signal will find a way to expose you)
• If you kick a cat. Your getting jumped by cat woman and 30 cats.
• If you beat up a street kid, you will also get jumped by Cat woman, Red Hood, Poison Ivy, and a good amount of the rogues
• The heroes/vigilantes may not come after you, (except for a few like Baby Robin and Ref Hood) but they will expose you, ruin your reputation, and cancel you online.
• Essentially, even the villains have morals and will go after you.

I’m Non-Binary and work as a psychiatrist at Arkham. I walked into the breakroom last week and one of the new guards was being wheeled out on a gurney. Apparently he’d been using the wrong pronouns for me and when Ossie (yes the Penguin) corrected him the new guard said something along the lines of “they/them are for plural, that’s not a real pronouns for a single person,”

Half the rouges told me about the incident during therapy, but I’m not allowed to go into details about it.

Also, Aunty Tam, Jason and Roy asked me to say hi.

Ayyyyyy waz poppin! Made some homemade bread and Nanaimo bars the other day, y’all free to drop by and have some ✨✨✨

WELL. Sooo, I was playing in the pit for the Riddlers most recent fight (?) with Batman. We was rocking to bossa Nova version of the Jeopardy theme when the homie Riddler falls through the floor, into the pit? (Where we vibe) The dude mouthed ‘GET TF OUTTA HERE’ and of course we booked it. Essentially, we was sprinting outta the building, carrying our clunky ass instruments before Batman could spot us (we ain’t criminals or whatever, The riddler just hires us to play music for him)

Just saw Red Robin losing it on top of them gargoyle statues cuz School is back. He just started screaming (not outta pain, but outta rage?) and some other students that were passing by joined in and started crying? All I gotta say is that I’m glad that I’m not in school anymore. Although…

There’s a Student discount of 20% off at the dinner I work at ;) (Marie’s Diner)

I work the night shift children. I hand out free leftover hot chocolate and coffee. 

✨Aunty Tam’s Tips✨

#2

Watch your mouth

• The villains in this city may rob banks, kidnap ppl, or essentially cause chaos
• But they will f#ck you up if you say or do something… controversial?
• If you some wack ass N#zis Supporter, the Joker will run you up
• AndAll the vigilantes will turn a blinds eye on you (Batman may show up, but only after ur severely beaten up)
• If you are Homophobic? Specifically Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn will make your life a living hell
• If you’re racist, You will probably get jumped by Red hood, Bane, and Baby Robin, etc. (The Signal will find a way to expose you)
• If you kick a cat. Your getting jumped by cat woman and 30 cats.
• If you beat up a street kid, you will also get jumped by Cat woman, Red Hood, Poison Ivy, and a good amount of the rogues
• The heroes/vigilantes may not come after you, (except for a few like Baby Robin and Ref Hood) but they will expose you, ruin your reputation, and cancel you online.
• Essentially, even the villains have morals and will go after you.

younger-grayson-deactivated2021:

tambourmite:

So Baby Robin and @younger-grayson popped in, I served some iced tea(Canadian iced tea y’all )Gritts with salt (I tried sugar, but it tastes wack. So we goin with SALT) Chicken bacon, with them eggs, and some sliced apples, pears, and oranges. I am proud to say Baby Robins insults have decreased from 13 to 12. At one point, he forgot to take off his shoes and tracked snow in my apartment WITHOUT making a sound. So, I’m now knitting some slippers for those two. @younger-grayson what colour you want for your slippers?

the colour of my soul, B L A C K, thank you aunty tam!

Oh lord. How bout this, a lovely grey with ravens or crows embroidered on it? And no prob! I’m happy that y’all came to visit!

So Baby Robin and @younger-grayson popped in, I served some iced tea(Canadian iced tea y’all )Gritts with salt (I tried sugar, but it tastes wack. So we goin with SALT) Chicken bacon, with them eggs, and some sliced apples, pears, and oranges. I am proud to say Baby Robins insults have decreased from 13 to 12. At one point, he forgot to take off his shoes and tracked snow in my apartment WITHOUT making a sound. So, I’m now knitting some slippers for those two. @younger-grayson what colour you want for your slippers?

younger-grayson-deactivated2021:

tambourmite:

younger-grayson-deactivated2021:

florence-wayne-official:

tambourmite:

#OnlyInGotham you scold one of the Robins. (#ThisBoyHasNoManners) The lil shit called me a WENCH. So, being a black woman, I proceeded to scold the lil Robin, and feed him Mac n Cheese for the next two hours. CHILE… He talks like he from the Yee yee old times.

Oh yea he does that. Don’t mind it he was raised weird

weird is an horrible understatement but sure

Y’all-

Finna feed him the most spiciest and delicious food I can cook for him if he ever falls through my window again.

imma crash w him

Of course! Call me Aunty Tam or Tam! Y’all are too skinny for my liking anyways.

younger-grayson-deactivated2021:

florence-wayne-official:

tambourmite:

#OnlyInGotham you scold one of the Robins. (#ThisBoyHasNoManners) The lil shit called me a WENCH. So, being a black woman, I proceeded to scold the lil Robin, and feed him Mac n Cheese for the next two hours. CHILE… He talks like he from the Yee yee old times.

Oh yea he does that. Don’t mind it he was raised weird

weird is an horrible understatement but sure

Y’all-

Finna feed him the most spiciest and delicious food I can cook for him if he ever falls through my window again.

So I was feeding the homie The Signal my beef patties, and my guy started tearing up(They Spicccyyyyy) I gave him the look of ‘can you not handle the flavours?!’ And he shook his head.

Signal : Nah, I’ve been living with some white folks for a bit and some of them can’t handle spicy food. The…. Grandpa who makes the food certainly knows his spices tho. He just has to cater to the others so most of the food is mild.

Me : Damn! We need to help you!

Signal : wha-

Me : FEED OUR BOY THE SIGNAL PROPER FLAVOUR

So, let’s have a campaign called ‘#FlavourForSignal2020’ and ‘#FlavourForSignal2021’ (since New Years is coming up.)

gothamcityisahellscape:

tambourmite:

gothamcityisahellscape:

I asked The Riddler why a raven was like a writing desk and I’m pretty sure he reconsidered his redemption just so he could kill me.

Ayo that was you?? You know how the Jeopardy music was playing? That was partly me. The Riddler basically has his own lil pit Orchestra annnd we play underneath the stage.

Yep. I sort of regret it but it was pretty funny.

Also y'all play a mean jeopardy theme

Thank you thank you

It gets crazy when Alberto the Piccolo player is performing.

Well it’s good to see that ya made it out alive! I find exchanging riddles with the dude helps (even though he’ll solve it in a matter of 5 seconds) Just make it a game of wits, and that should keep him entertained for a bit. Homie is honestly so bored, he once kept us after rehearsal for two hours playing Jazz melodies he rlly likes.

gothamcityisahellscape:

I asked The Riddler why a raven was like a writing desk and I’m pretty sure he reconsidered his redemption just so he could kill me.

Ayo that was you?? You know how the Jeopardy music was playing? That was partly me. The Riddler basically has his own lil pit Orchestra annnd we play underneath the stage.

#OnlyInGotham you scold one of the Robins. (#ThisBoyHasNoManners) The lil shit called me a WENCH. So, being a black woman, I proceeded to scold the lil Robin, and feed him Mac n Cheese for the next two hours. CHILE… He talks like he from the Yee yee old times.

#OnlyInGotham do you play in a small band for a bunch of rogues/villains Christmas party. It was the Riddler again. He Fr called up his pit Orchestra to play some jazz at a Christmas party

The Joker requested us to play WAP

I saw Poison Ivy at one point. I WOULD LET HER FEED ME TO HER PLANTS. SHES SO GORGEOUS. Killer Croc dude was there, he performed a song at one point. But Fr the whole shebang showed up.

Soooo, I just performed my ballad for the Signal and Homie started crying this what our convo sounded like

“What?! You made that for me?!?”

“Hell yeah! You’s my favourite vigilante now.”

The mf starts tearing up“Really?!”

“Yep, you know what? Imma make a whole ass jazz composition DEDICATED TO YOU”

“Well thank you :) ;-; “

I’m adopting the Signal. He may be a vigilante BUT HE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART. IM MAKING HIM BEEF PATTIES FOR DAYS.

So now I’ve found myself taking the night off, chillin outside in the freezing cold, and playing with other street musicians to help compe up with a Jazz song. If my Clarinet gets damaged from the cold (most likely will) imma make The Riddler pay for my new Clarinet.

✨Aunty Tam’s Tips ✨

-> Surviving in Gotham for new Gothamite’s <-

Tip #1

Mind your business

I’m not playin’

Mind your mfing buisiness

If you walk by a sus alley and see a potential villain meetup/drug deal. Mind. Your. Business.

There’s literally people with wack ass costumes that run around in gotham who fight these people on a regular basis.

If you make eye contact with the villain (criminal, mob boss, etc.) show them you ain’t finna snitch. Either by…

1. Drop some money on the alleys entrance, then calmly get out of there.

2. Don’t spare a second glance, keep your gaze forward, do not show any inner turmoil on wether you should call for help.

3. Literally show that you ain’t saw shit. My personal favourite is when I make eye contact, put on some shades and pull out a walking stick. (Basically pretend to be blind)

3.5 Another variation you could do is miming zipping your mouth shut.

4. If you show ANY hesitation, they will be on yo ass

5. Again, it really depends on the situation. If it’s a well known criminal/villain/mobster/gangster/assassin, leave it alone.

6. If it’s some drunk bastard bothering a girl, go crazy my friend. (Essentially, if it’s a low class criminal, help em if y’a want. But usually the Bats are taking care of it.)

gothamitee:

tambourmite:

gothamitee:

tambourmite:

Contrary to popular belief, Santa in Gotham is Black. Two years ago I was vibing on my apartment complex’s rooftop, nursing an eggnog and I saw Black Santa. We made eye contact and homie started to crip walk??? He ain’t with the crips tho, he told me he in no gang.

yoU SAW SANTA?!?!

Yeah? I honestly thought some other people encountered him, he’s hella hard to miss. But every year, after his rounds in Gotham, he chills with me for a lil bit on the apartment roof. He brings me some nice antique wine, and I give him eggnog with my famous chocolate chunk walnut cookies.

Santa is honestly so baller.

(Y’all missing out, homie can GET DOWNNN. And He can do everything from twerking to whining. I’m sorta convinced he’s Caribbean just by how legendary his whining is, THEM HIPPPPS)

eggnog✍ and chocolate chunk walnut cookies✍ he might give antique wine in return✍

Just be careful, he may be a jolly black fat old man, but he is still extremely still baller. Homie might run up and just take yo sh#t and book it. And yes, This the real deal, homie has mfing reindeer and cool ass looking sled. (He installed a speaker and blasts from cookout song, Caribbean function songs, to Afrobeats) .He Fr goes out partying with the Dominicans and Peurto Ricans at like 3 AM.