I wonder how did Layton keep his life organised before he met Emmy and Luke, and after Luke moved with his parents. It sounds like he didn’t remembered the symposium at all.
Because Prometheus had stolen the fire from Mount Olympus, Zeus punished mankind by creating Pandora. She was sent to earth with a jar that was not to be opened. But man’s thirst for knowledge was too strong and when she opened the box, sickness, death and all other of world’s evils escaped.
In a jar an odious treasure is
Shut by the gods’ wish:
A gift that’s not everyday,
The owner’s Pandora alone;
And her eyes, this in hand,
Command the best in the land
As she flits near and far;
Prettiness can’t stay
Shut in a jar.
Someone took her eye, he took
A look at what pleased her so
And out came the grief and woe
We won‘t ever be rid of,
For heaven had hidden
That in the jar.
In the works of Waterhouse in the 1890’s, the somewhat cold classicism was gradually replaced with a warmer English version of symbolism that some even call a late outburst of romanticism.
“What Pandora brings to mortals is complexity. And that is true of all the women in this book […] Their stories should be read, seen, heard in all their difficult, messy, murderous detail. They aren’t simple because nothing interesting is simple.“
I’ve come to make an announcement: Prometheus is a bitch-ass motherfucker. He stole my fucking fire. That’s right, he took his Titan-fuckin’ quilly fennel stalk out and he stuck it in my fucking fire, and he said his stalk was THIS BIG, and I said, “That’s disgusting!” So I’m putting a callout passage in Hesiod’s Theogeny: Prometheus, you’ve got a small liver. It’s the size of this pomegranate except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here’s what my gift to humanity looks like. PFBPFT! That’s right baby, all curves, no dick, no testes– look at that, she looks like two domes and a clam. He stole my fire, so guess what? Pandora’s gonna fuck the EARTH. That’s right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PLAGUES!! Except we’re not just gonna plague the Earth. I’m gonna go higher; I’m feeding Prometheus’s liver TO A BIRD! How do you like that, Odysseus? I FED HIS LIVER TO A BIRD, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the liver drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth! Now get outta my fucking sight, before I plague you too!
This year Universal has put together a varied and entertaining set of mazes, and although it has more than ever before, the cracks are starting to show as the park attempts to pack more and more people into its biggest event. Here are all the mazes, ranked from worst to best.
Note: My friends and I purchased the front-of-the-line passes, and even though we went on a Sunday night, we still would not have been able to complete every maze without it. Expensive, but the only way to get the full experience.
Honorable Mention: All Hallow’s Evil
Not a maze, but rather an outdoor enclosed scare zone that is harvest and autumnal theme. Some great costumes and a cool premise.
Dishonorable Mention: Toxic Tunnel
In years past, a short tram ride took you to remote parts of the lower backlot. Now, you hoof it on foot for about a quarter mile, walking through a wide-open tunnel filled with strobe lights and rejects from the Toxic Avenger. It’s as annoying as it sounds.
On to the list!
#10 The Curse of Pandora’s Box
Easily the worst maze of the night, the designers attempted to create a sense of chaos by contrasting dark hallways with neon colors, but the costumes felt generic and the scares non-effective.
#9 The Walking Dead Attraction
Familiarity is the enemy of this maze, but if you’ve never done it before, it makes a good first impression. I just wish they would add something new, or at least increase the number of scare actors during HHN.
#8 Stranger Things 2 & 3
The surprise flop of the night, this maze at times had a queue that was 4 hours long. But once you finally get inside, you are treated to the same easily telegraphed jump scare about 8 times (not an exaggeration). There are some nice set pieces, but overall it lacked wows and scares.
#7 Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man
Nothing technically wrong with this one, but it failed to create many memorable moments. If you know the story of either character, you know exactly what to expect, and the maze delivers on that promise and little else. (Note: the finale in which the monsters literally jump off the screen was pretty damn clever).
#6 House of 1000 Corpses
This maze originally made its debut years ago, and while this year’s iteration delivered on tension and scares, it was missing several elements from its original incarnation. A thrill, but a slight step down from its former glory.
#5 Creepshow
This maze had an uphill battle, as the original film is slightly obscure and the new series hasn’t been released yet. Despite these limitations, it delivered several effective scares and featured a well-developed premise.
#4 Killer Klowns from Outer Space
This maze, perhaps better than any other, authentically recreates iconic moments from its titular film (even before you enter the maze proper). The scare actors also wore full-body costumes that were imposing due to size alone. One complaint though: enough with the squirt guns!
#3 GhostbustersAs a life-long fan, I thought this one would take the cake, and it was indeed quite good. However, some missed opportunities and an over-reliance on static figures kept it from soaring to the #1 spot. Spooky, not scary, but very very fun.
#2 Us
It starts with an impressive, full-size facade at the entrance, and from there the immersion goes even deeper. I wondered how Universal would convey the terror of a clone attack, and their delivery is truly one of their better tricks; instead of giving scare actors masks of Lupita Nyong’o, they hired a dozen or so women who look remarkably like her. The end result is the feeling that the scissor wielding psychopath really is everywhere. And their eyes will haunt you all the way home.
#1 Holidayz in Hell
The surprise hit of the night, this brand new original maze is a concept that I have seen attempted before: holidays run amok. However, what sets this maze apart is the amount of thought and creativity that went into it. From “champagne bubbles” that rained from the sky to the simulated fireworks, this maze kept surprising me. My favorite part, however, was the end. You think the maze is over, when all of a sudden you realize that the final part of the maze IS out in the open streets. And it’s a mad dash for safety through a gauntlet of killer Christmas gifts. Oh what fun.
Female Genesis: an edition made for college The concept is based on the comparison between the female characters of Eve and Pandora (and a little bit of Lilith) and how these characters are usually associated with the idea of ‘the first woman created condemned humanity’ even though Eve granted knowledge and Pandora hope.
Created by the gods and given beauty and cunning, Pandora was gifted with a storage jar (later known as a box) as a wedding gift. She opened the jar and released the swarm of evil spirits trapped within that would forever after plague mankind. Only Hope remained behind.
