#quiet time

I have been in isolation for 6 days now I believe. I lost count.

its not a big deal because I am not sick

I am just not getting paid which is majority of what is annoying me.

During this time, I have caught up with all the sleep that I never had and I am feeling much better because I can think and read properly. I walk around all day when I work so that I have the energy. I don’t really drink coffee to keep me awake.

I also asked myself to do some journaling because I think I have a lot of subconscious anger and just a general jist of quick dissatisfaction to wards life sometimes when I have to interact with other people. I find it too easy to pass judgement than to let something slide.

Sometimes I don’t know if I stand more as a people pleaser or as someone who is so caught up in rules.

In my first year of proper work I do see myself slowly becoming like my mentors that just kinda have a short temper and get annoyed with everything real quick. But before that, I am a total people pleaser and just couldn’t care more or less if the whole world burns down.

Both have good and bad outcomes to be very honest. Its finding the balance or a better way of communication.

Anyways, be it rain or shine, I still do my quiet times in the morning. After writing up my notes I just fell asleep in the middle of a park by accident with all my possessions with me. I think its bad but Jesus is Lord.

I have the great joy of reading Romans 4 because it is helping me to just see why Abraham is such an example of great faith that is credited as righteousness.

Vs 19-22

Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why “it was credited to him as righteousness

I think I am in a similar situation whereby I am really just dead meat. I think I just have a big dreams of being able to work flexible hours so that I can live properly in this country and then have time to go to church and still have time to cook for myself on a daily basis. But right now, I am not even earning any money and I don’t even know where will I be working and whether or not I want to stay in England. This visa issue happens annually and just tests my faith a bit too much. I just have to keep praying and keep going.

Apart form that, just learning from Romans 3 that the law of faith and the law in general is meant to go hand in hand. To not practice one without the other in verse 27. I think that is very challenging because I shared that I am judgmental by nature, I need to give a lot more grace.

I think I have a lot more to say but I am gonna go now

the lib @ ucsb

Match my energy or lose me </3

From Chapter Ten - Little Life Sayings - She’ll Find the Sky poetry book by Christy Ann Martine

I do a lot of talking,

It’s part of my job,

Like pulling when we’re walking,

Or making hearts throb.

But I’ll tell you a secret,

My deepest one, too,

My favorite thing is quiet time,

Sitting there with you.

Sw fandom has been going back and forth arguing about ppl not liking k3nobi and then the ppl do and I wish everyone would just shut up at this point