#cant sleep
My flesh turns to dust
Whisper, “are you dying?” in my ear
I’m so sick to death
Tumors in my head
Whisper, “are you dying?” in my ear
Black rose of death
In my fist I clutch
Thorns shred my finger tips
And drips toxic blood
Kiss me one last time
Wipe off my sweat
Whisper, “are you dying?” in my ear
As my bones they rust
20 pounds of trust
Whisper, “are you dying?” in my ear
Black rose of death
In my fist I clutch
Thorns shred my finger tips
And drips toxic blood
I’m rotting inside
My flesh turns to dust
Whisper, “are you dying?” in my ear
Kiss me one last time
Wipe off my sweat
Whisper, “are you dying?” in my ear
Whisper, “are you dying?” in my ear
Green day - Shenanigans
I am horny as shit, help me or leave me alone
I sleep so much better when you’re by my side. You make me so happy I can’t even stand it. I let my guard down completely and I am falling for you so hard. I am seriously so scared and happy like I am not good enough for you and what if you wake up tomorrow and you realize you’ve changed your mind?
I can be mean to myself
Like I’m mean to everybody else
At least no one can say I’m not fair
It’s a messy life but we only get one
And I’m trying my best
To do it right
Sometimes it feels easier to just leave
Cut people out of your life the second they cross you
Never let anyone get too close
Look out for yourself and let everyone else do whatever it is they do.
It’s also lonely going through life by yourself
So worried about others that you end up locked away in your room every night
Wondering if anyone will ever actually know who you really are instead of the person you pretend to be.
Good things are coming
.
.
.
at least that’s what everyone keeps telling me.
I’ve decided to go to war.
Not with anyone in particular but with my life.
For too long I have just followed life wherever it led me,
My life took away friends, family, and opportunities from me all while I was too busy being at war with what what going on in my own head.
Now, the fear, anxiety, and depression I have that were once my enemy have issued a treaty.
And we are going to take back my life,
Together.
It’s 2AM and I just cut all my hair off because I felt my life spiraling out of control yet again and I wanted to and I wanted to feel in control again. Now I’m kinda freaking out but I also kinda love my new hair!
And please don’t hold back on the cum.
Ya boy just basically slept through the last two days. Exciting stuff.
When day becomes night and night becomes day. I told myself, I will go to bed after this and the infinite hyperlinking transcends time. When finally I succumb to droopy lids, set aside my reading materials (whether it’s a laptop or a book) on the empty side of my double bed and lie down. Sometimes I close my lids and all I see are statics from my brain neurons firing. I thought about what I read, and the day and people’s faces. Did I come off too strong? I should have said something. Why is it like this? Suddenly I thought of a word I didn’t understand but was too lazy to look up earlier. I got up and search the dictionary or wikipedia. By the time I enter my blanket I realize that satisfaction only last as long as another alien thought comes up. I left it to dreaming and wake up feeling a bit haunted from all the weird combination imageries. That, would be the better nights. Other times, I enter my blanket only to realize my alarm is about to go off in an hour. I sat on the couch and enter a lucid dream phase where I find myself either tidying room half consciously or staring into the back of my eyelids. Alarm sound is harsh. Some cheap instant coffee and it begins the cycle of another sleepy day.
I’ve been awake since 4am and tossing and turning all night before that…
Sleep and I have always had a hard time getting along. I adore sleep. The vivid dreams, the horrid nightmares, I love it all. For me however, it’s always been a delicate balance of medication, temperature, pillows, proper positioning, lights (I wear a sleep mask) and sounds (I have a fish tank in my room which has a filter running at all times).
It’s always been hard for me to get up in the mornings. I greatly dislike getting up before I’m ready to wake up naturally, and I love sleeping for as long as possible, which used to be a problem but isn’t as much of one anymore. I feel like sometimes I’m addicted to sleep, always chasing that perfect, restful night, which comes so so rarely…
♥️♥️♥️
♥️
I love blue
My Amazon wish list:
Anything you buy I’ll take some special pictures just for you 
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3GR7SNO5HHK41?ref_=wl_share
Thank you sooooo much @bianca-rose1029 for this outfit from my wish list and a new toy!! I love them both so much!
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Is there anyone awake like me?!? :-(
Its 3.24am, I can’t sleep, I have work in 4 hours and 36 minutes…fuck you brain and switch off already.
