#robert jordan
Literally everyone in The Wheel of Time books at some point:
Rand: I’m sorry I accused you of arson.
Logain: Well, I was the obvious suspect.
Moiraine: What in the Light happened in here??
Egwene: It was Mat
Perrin: It was Mat
Rand: I tried to stop him
Mat:
Mat: …Blood and ashes! Thank you for letting the bloody badger out of the bag! Don’t you know the meaning of secrecy?
Moiraine: Oh dear Light
Rand: Maybe if I add “lol” at the end, it’ll sound like I’m okay.
Rand: Someone balefire me lol
Min: Rand, no
Berelain: I like your pants
Perrin: Thanks. They were 50% off.
Berelain: I’d like them 100% off.
Perrin: The store can’t just give clothes away.
Berelain: That not what I-
Perrin: That’s a terrible way to run a business. You should know that.
*Mat and Rand sitting in jail together*
Rand: So… Who should we call?
Mat: I’d call Nynaeve but I feel safer in jail
Lan: Who’s in our bathroom?
Nynaeve: I hired a drunk girl to compliment us.
Lan:Oh…
Elayne: OMG you look like a king!
Lan:
Lan:Yes.
Logain: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.
Mat: If we put Nynaeve and Faile in a room, who would come out crying first?
Perrin: The room.
Elayne: This dumb therapist just told me I have “unresolved daddy issues”.
Elayne: First of all, I don’t even have a dad, so you look really stupid right now.
Rand: I would do literally anything for you. You want the stars? I’ll grab them with my own hands and make you a necklace.
Min: I just want you to take a nap.
Rand: I will not.
Moghedien: You really push all my buttons…
Nynaeve: Sorry, i’m still looking for mute
*Rand eating a cinnamon roll*
Min:Cannibalism.
Rand: *innocent, confused chewing noises*
Rand: I never thought someone could actually love me. I’m a handful
Mat: Is that why you need at least six hands to handle you?
Talmanes: Do you ever think before you speak?
Mat: I think “wow, that’s hilarious” then I say it.
Rand: it costs $100 to go see a
therapist.
Rand: but it costs $0 to tell myself
“it do be like that sometimes”
Nynaeve and Min: RAND NO!
Mat: I heard an interesting rumor today.
Thom: Only one? I started at least twelve.
Min: are you alright? You didn’t sleep at all last night…
Rand: I got a solid 10 minute
Rand: Not consecutively, but it’s still fine, you’re not even THAT blurry
Perrin: I don’t take hints. Throw a rock at me.
Rand: ..did you just refer to the knife
as a “people opener”?
Aviendha:…
Aviendha: should I not have?
Birgitte: What are you two drinking?
Elayne:Vodka.
Birgitte:Straight?
Mat: No, bi.
Elayne:Same.
Birgitte: Not you, idiots. The vodka.
