I climb into the covers and try to hide the shame that I feel.

Trying to keep you from seeing how much I want to be destroyed;

let me be missing in action. Bottom of the ocean kind; washed

away, sins taken off of the skin I could never love. Full of hatred and

then… Release. Completely undone, my sobs sound like screams

being choked out; I can’t get ahold of the air. Underwater I struggle to

push myself out of the depths, out of the sadness [brokenness]

that I can’t help but embrace. [What would I be without this pain?]

You try to comfort me and I spit venom in your eyes just

to get you to turn your face away from mine, embarrassed by

the reflection of myself in your eyes. Yet you come back,

you take the shirt off your back to wipe away the poison

and wrap your arms around my body until I can no longer

fight you. Tears roll down my face as I gasp for air;

shivers run down my spine as you kiss away all of the pain

until I’m numb. I can’t feel anything except the high that you

bring to the forefront of my mind. You whisper, “rest” but

I can’t. I dig my claws into your back and bring your flesh to

mine; ecstasy taking away the sadness and replacing it

with lustful love. Addicted to the way you make me feel I

beg for it until you’re exhausted. I take until you break and

then the shame washes over me again. A sick cycle I can

never seem to break.

ReBecca DeFazio

More Than a Flower

We find each other again;

we melt into words that lead

to actions that cause feelings

to explode into the space that

we thought would be empty

forever. We crawl through the

briers that grew from trauma,

stress, and silence; misunderstandings

leading to mistrust and heartbreak…

Knees bleeding, we remember

who we are. In the light and in

the shadows; finding each

other’s lips, fingertips, and

hearts still alive; still grasping

for one another’s flesh…

For one another’s affection,

validation, love. We admit

that we will never find

another connection like ours

and we give into the raw.

We give into the now. Where

pride and fear of rejection no

longer exist… Where we’re

more than flaws and perfections.

We see the damage done and

kiss it away; begging for forgiveness

from one another until the days

become lighter and the love

becomes fuller. We remember

what it is to love; teenagers again

looking into each other’s eyes

accepting that we’re so flawed…

But so loved.

ReBecca DeFazio

More Than A Flower

I get it, I’m too much for some people. I understand that not everyone thrives off of chaos & pressure, but I do. If things are too perfect I get bored.

Thrive // Alexandra 

I alway want what I can’t have,

that’s why I chose him, that’s why I will continue to choose men like him.

I never loved them, and once the chase is over, so are we.

I just want to burn everything down and start over.

Start over // Alexandra

A sweet sparrow’s quiet song

Whispers in the woods

In hopes for another to hear.

Another sparrow

That’s so far off

Can barely hear the song

But knows what is sung-

And replies back with a quiet call.

Kitten Quinn // My Sparrows

If I had a day to waste

I would run straight to you-

Leaping into your arms

And laughing the hours away.

Kitten Quinn // Untitled

I don’t know why I was there, but I was on the moon. I was standing there, alone with my eyes fixated on the world I was supposed to be in. It wasn’t as cold as I expected, there on the moon, and there was less of a lack of oxygen that I learned in elementary school. Yet, none of those strange factors mattered to me- all I could think was how small Earth appeared to be from so far away.

Kitten Quinn // A Short Story Excerpt

Fall from the sky

And crash down to Earth-

Lie and wait,

Recover your strength

For you may feel small now

But it won’t be long

until you realize

your impact has

already been great.

Kitten Quinn

Sympathy

He gazed upon it, eyes wide full of terror and curiosity. He had never seen a creature so massive, nor has he seen a creature so motionless and out of place. Its skin looked dark and smooth, the water glistening in the Sun off its back, yet the dry sand it lied upon took away from the majesty of the moment.

He never heard of a creature such as the one he looked at, so he approached slowly towards its face. It had big black eyes and nostrils as tall as him, huffing and puffing heavily as its heart struggled against everything its body was experiencing. He could see something resembling a rash covering its skin, spreading in small patches as they reached out to one another in attempt to cover its entire body.

“It must hurt,” he whispered to the creature, lending out a hand to let the tips of his fingers graze the boils growing under its massive fin. “I’m so sorry this happened,” he exhaled, unable to do nothing more for it.

When time stops,

I too remain still

Lost in the crowd.

I wait for hours

To see if anyone moves-

Surely unable to be alone.

Yet, I remain waiting

For a prince to come running

Or a little furry friend.

When time begins,

I too will continue,

Ignoring my tears.

Lost Damsel // Kitten Quinn

I remember her sitting there,

Her glasses sliding down her nose

As her eyes focused on her fingers

Glazing over the keys.

I remember those long nights

Where she wouldn’t move for hours.

Sitting and typing, listening to the clicking

Of the rusty metal keys.

I remember the words

She so beautifully typed onto the pages.

Every letter thought out in her mind

And every mistake carefully redone.

I remember her smile

When she finally stood from the table.

Her sore bones cracking

As furious as the metal keys had.

I remember… I remember…

I remember everything about it.

As now I hold her book in my hands

And understand.

Her Master Piece // Kitten Quinn

Chilling nights are lonely

Without my one and only

So I’ll cuddle up

In my blankets

And wait out the storm.

For as soon as the sun is out

He’ll be back without a doubt.

Inhale.

Everything swirling endlessly

Never stopping for a breath.

Exhale.

Return to the tracks

And blend back into the blur.

Everyday // Kitten Quinn

Untitled

Only when the picture fades

Do I realize the beauty

Its dull colors contain.

Memories I am reminded of

Of times long forgotten

And those I was once among.

Days of nonsense youth

That I so enjoyed while

searching for the truth.

But only years later

With the vivid colors gone

I have become greater.