Summary: You are working as a makeup artist on a small film where the lead actress rarely bothers to show up. So what happens when you are asked to be a stand in during a steamy scene?
Warnings: definitely 18+, language, smut, maybe a little fluff
Length: 3.5k
A/N: This is hands down the best thing my subconscious has ever created. I don’t normally dream of Sebastian like this but I’m soooo glad I did! I don’t own the gif. DO NOT POST TO ANY OTHER WEBSITE! Reblog and send comments please!
You were sitting in your makeup trailer with your feet up on a table eating your lunch and scrolling through your phone when your friend Liz, who also happened to be the first assistant director, walked in and sat down.
“We need you to be a stand in again,” she said.
“Again? How is that bitch a working actress? She’s a flake!”
“That bitch is stressing me out,” she said rolling her eyes.
You referred to the lead actress as “the bitch” because she was, in fact, a bitch. She was rude, inconsiderate, and barely showed up for work.
“They need to just hire a professional stand in for her. Stop making me do it.”
“Honestly, you are probably the best stand in for her. I was watching some footage they had edited together and I had no idea it was you in the scene until someone told me. Go to the hair trailer first. They already know what to do. I’ll come by and show you what the scene is in a little bit.”
“Yeah, okay.”
You were first asked to help out when the lead actress in the film couldn’t make it to set for whatever reason sometime during the first week of production. You had the same y/h/c, y/h/l hair and body type and it was actually hard to tell you apart when someone was looking from behind. You had said yes just to help the shoot move along. All you ever had to do was stand in the frame with your back to the camera while the lead actor said his lines to you. It wasn’t hard work. So you continued to say yes whenever they asked which had been 6 times in the last 3 weeks.
“This is a little more than just standing there Liz! A lot more!” you complained while taking the piece of gum Liz offered you. “They really can’t wait to get his coverage?”
“Pay attention to how she stands and where her hands are. That’s all you really need to know. Sebastian is going to take care of the rest.”
⤿ summary [also requested by anon (thank you!)] : insecurities can be caused by many things but there is always one person to love each one of the things you hate…
warnings :18+, smut, reader is insecure about her vagina but i haven’t included a description of anything specific, fingering, pussy eating, tiny bit angst, fluff
*feedback is appreciated. please reblog so it can reach more people♡
You were gripping the microphone you were holding as you tried to calm yourself down. There wеre soo many people in front of you, and even after years of being an actress and going to Comic–Cons, you still couldn’t get over your anxiety sometimes.
You thought that grounding yourself with the cold surface of the microphone was going to calm your flipping stomach, but the harder you squeezed it, the warmer the metal was becoming, and this wasn’t helping.
It was worse than you expected, and you smiled awkwardly as one of your co-stars was answering a question.
‘Y/N?’ Sebastian whispered, and you jumped slightly because you thought he was on the other side, four people away from you. ‘You okay, baby?’ He asked concerned and saw the way you were holding for dear life the microphone in your hands.
‘I’m just anxious, but it’s okay.’ You mumbled and felt his big palm gently enveloping your arm, just above your elbow, squeezing it lightly.
He knew well how to calm your anxiety just with his touch, and you were only dating for a few months. It always seemed like he knew you better than anyone else, even better than you know yourself, but you knew him better, too.
‘I can’t wait for us to go home so I can finally calm you down a little.’ He groaned in your ear, not even carrying about the next question.
Your breath got stuck in your throat as you tried to form words in your mouth. Was he talking about sex? Probably. That’s why you just smiled tightly and whispered ‘Me too.’
But things weren’t that easy, not at all. Your anxiety was even worse when it came to having sex with Sebastian, which you never did because… well you still haven’t gotten to that part yet. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to or because you didn’t, you knew that he wanted this, but whenever stuff escalated between the both of you, you stopped him, always.
Being insecure about body parts was like being sick. It made you feel terrible. You couldn’t even enjoy the things you wanted to, just because of insecurity. An insecurity that was the end of many relationships for you. You realized how toxic they were, but they all ended when men stripped your panties and saw what was between your legs.
You couldn’t picture Sebastian reacting the way your exs did, but that feeling was still there. The feeling of not being good enough just because you were like this and there was nothing you could do to change it.
You arrived in front of Sebastian’s apartment, walking anxiously behind him as he unlocked the front door and opened it for you.
Before you could realize what was happening, he turned around on his toes, and his mouth found yours in an eager kiss. Both your tongues and teeth met each other as you were trying to pour every bottled-up feeling from today, every little piece of anxiety and awkwardness but not your insecurity.
Sebastian slowly walked into the apartment, still not breaking the kiss. You allowed him to lead you, but as soon as the hall ended, his hand left yours, and he wrapped his hands around your hips. He lifted you and placed you on the kitchen table.
‘Let me make you feel better…’ Sebastian tried to catch his breath after the heated kiss as his hands leisurely traveled down to the button of your jeans.
He looked at you from between your legs and unbuttoned them. At this moment, all you could think about was him being between your legs, waiting like a starved animal. But when he started to slide the jeans down your legs, your head snapped.
‘Stop!’ You shouted and lifted yourself on your elbows, shivering slightly from the cold surface of the table.
He immediately pulled away, shock written on his features, but what made your heart sink more was the worried look behind the shock.
‘Did I do something? God, I’m soo sorry! I didn’t want to hurt you!’ He started to ramble, his fingers ran anxiously through his hair.
‘Sebastian…’
‘I don’t know what happened. I just, I - ’
‘Sebastian!’ You shouted, and his rambling finally stopped. His head snapped up to look at you, eyes wide and watery. ‘I’m okay, baby. You didn’t do anything. It’s my fault.’
‘But you haven’t done anything wrong, sweetheart. Why are you saying it’s your fault? What’s wrong?’ His palms cupped your jaw, and you squeezed his wrists, closing your eyes for a moment.
‘All my past relationships ended when they found out about… about my vagina. I know it’s normal to have different types, and I know it sounds silly, but they never liked it. Like they were disgusted by the way it looks.’ You confessed, your cheeks becoming red.
‘Sweetheart, look at me.’ Sebastian put his index finger under your chin and lifted it so he could look into your eyes. ‘Those people had no idea how to love a woman. I’m not saying that I know how to love someone the right way, but I know that I love every part of you, no matter how it looks. I don’t want you to feel this way, and I’m sorry you had to go through this, but never think you’re less attractive because of your body. You are beautiful, and you should feel beautiful, baby. Every part of you is beautiful, and I’m going to show you how much I love every corner of your body if you let me.’
‘Please.’ You pleaded, your eyes watering a little from his speech. Sebastian removed your underwear and your shirt, tossing them to the side. He started kissing first your ankles, taking his time with your calves until he stopped for a while on your inner thighs. He slightly sucked on the soft skin there, leaving love marks all over them before his head disappeared between your legs.
‘So beautiful.’ He groaned against your core before his warm, damp tongue slid between your folds. You couldn’t help but moan, your grip around his waist tightened, bringing him even closer. Your hands ran through the soft locks of his hair as he sucked on your sensitive bud, making your spine arch in a rainbow shape.
‘I love you.’ You whimpered as his tongue twirled around the soft skin.
‘I love you.’ He murmured, the vibrations of his voice sent shivers down your spine before his tongue entered you.
You only hoped that his neighbors won’t hear your moans as they grew when his mouth wrapped around your clit and sucked harshly.
When his fingers replaced his tongue, opening and closing your soaking folds, you could taste yourself on his lips. His finger entered your hole as he felt your tight walls squeezing him inside of you.
The tight knot in your lower stomach continued to tighten until you couldn’t take it anymore.
It felt like a fresh wave washed over your body, and the tight knot was finally released, your walls clenching around his fingers.
‘You’re soo good, baby. I won’t let anyone tell you otherwise because you are the most beautiful woman. Every part of you and I will continue to do that until you understand it.’ Sebastian whispered against your lips, brushing your hair away from your face.
‘I don’t need anyone else to tell me… I just need you.’ You murmured against his lips before capturing them into a kiss.
⤿ summary [also requested by anon (thank you!)] : you reassure sebastian during the met gala.
warnings :fluff, one curse word, feeling insecure and people being rude
*feedback is appreciated. please reblog so it can reach more people♡
You were posing in front of the photographers whose camera flashes snapped and clicked with each photo being taken. Even after attending the Met Gala for many years now, you still got a little bit nervous as everyone yelled your name.
This year’s theme was Gilded Glamour. You loved those times and how women dressed back then in their pretty dresses and hair secured in a beautiful bun. That’s why you wanted to go a little extra on this event and it seemed to work. Everyone was in love with your dress.
You were wearing a long, white, satin dress with short sleeves, secured with an asymmetrical pastel pink bodice. The middle of the flowing material was tied with ribbon in the same pastel pink color as the corset. Two lines of pink satin waves were finishing the dress at your feet.
But the main highlight of your outfit was the flower décor all over the dress. Fake pink roses were attached all over the fabric, especially around the ribbon where part of the dress was tied like a bouquet and in your hair where it was tied in a half-bun. The outfit was completed with white satin gloves with a golden bracelet on each wrist and a pearl necklace ending with a golden charm.
‘Did you see what a terrible outfit Sebastian Stan is wearing?’ A voice came to your ears as you were trying to pose for more pictures. You tried to ignore it, thinking that it was probably something else and you only imagined it until you heard the reply.
‘It’s not even in the theme like how is he not embarrassed?’ Your heart sank into your chest as you quickly apologized and went in a search of your secret boyfriend. Even though you two had prepared together, you arrived at different times, still not wanting to expose your relationship. Most fans thought you were just really good friends, but that was far away from the truth.
The truth was that you and Sebastian were dating for over a year now, and keeping it a secret was the hardest part. Paparazzi don’t know privacy, but luckily you were known as good friends, so when pictures were taken they didn’t make a fuss. After all, you had been in 2 movies together.
As you were walking around the large space, you couldn’t stop thinking about how those girls talked behind his back. But while you were making your way through the crowd of people, you heard even more of those hateful comments.
Your eyes watered just at the thought of how happy he was before you left. He was happy to wear something different, to try something different. Yes, it was a challenging outfit, but he looked great in it, and you couldn’t be more proud of him when you saw him standing in front of the mirror.
But when your eyes fell on the man with a pink outfit who was posing for photos you saw the hurt in his eyes. You were still far away, but you hurried up to him.
‘Ew, ugly in pink!’ You heard in front of you and saw how Seb’s face immediately stopped to fake smile.
Rushing over to him, you hugged him, your face smashing in his chest as you felt the rushed beat of his heart. But as soon as he realized who was hugging him his arms wrapped around your waist, head resting on top of his head.
‘Hi.’ You whispered quietly, looking over at him and pulling away from his chest to pose next to him. ‘Hi, baby.’ He whispered back and snaked his arm around your waist, bringing you closer to his body.
‘I heard what that bitch said. You look stunning tonight, love.’ You kissed his cheek and saw them reddening under your compliment, which made you giggle.
‘Thank you, my love.’ Sebastian squeezed your waist, reassuring you that he was okay.
‘I love you.’ You said only with your lips but Sebastian understood, knowing too well how your lips moved when you told him that little phrase every morning.
‘I love you, too.’ He mouthed, and you smiled lovingly at the sight of him finally having fun at this too crowded party.
You couldn’t wait to go home and wash away all the stress he had to go through for this event. Sometimes pleasing fans is the most challenging thing people in your profession have to face.
This song inspiration request was sent in by @caritobbg for the song “You Are My Everything (Grande Amore)” by Il Volo. After listening to the song, I looked up a little bit about the group as my idea for the story came together. I do not speak Italian, so I hope I got the phrasing right. Enjoy! :)
warnings: nothing really. Just some mutual pining and sicky sweet fluff!!!
Bucky laid in bed and stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom for what felt like the millionth night in a row. Ever since you had joined the Avengers a few months ago, he found himself lying awake most nights just thinking about you. It was like you had him under some spell and he could think of nothing else except you.
Even during training or missions, when he had usually been so laser focused, he was now finding himself keeping an eye on you instead of the target in front of him. While it was usually frowned upon to let your mind drift during such a time, it had saved your life today. Had he not been watching you instead, he would have missed the trap you had unknowingly walked into at the Hydra base they were inspecting. Instead of falling to a certain death, you had only ended up with cuts and bruises, along with a cracked rib. He had seen those fighting beside him get injured before, but none of those times felt like they did when it was you.
Now sure what time he had finally dozed off last night, he awoke a few hours later to find the morning light beginning to creep into his room. After grabbing a quick shower, he threw on his work out gear and made his way downstairs. Just as he had entered the kitchen to grab a quick bite before heading to the gym, he saw you standing on the balls of your feet as you desperately tried to reach your coffee mug that someone had put on one of the higher shelves. Seeing you struggling due to your injury the previous day, Bucky jumped into action without a second thought.
“Here, doll. Let me get that for you.”
Not hearing him come into the room, you jumped slightly before realizing who was standing behind you. At the sight of Bucky, you immediately relaxed and stepped out of the way to give him better access to the cabinet. When he handed the mug to you, you gave him a polite smile before turning to head towards the coffee pot.
“Grazie amore mio…”
As he turned to grab a bottle of water and an apple, he saw Natasha standing in the doorway giving the two of you a strange look. After waiting until you left the room, she smirked at Bucky as she moved to make her own cup of coffee to wake herself up.
“So… when did thathappen?”
Buck was confused with the question as he turned to look back at her before leaving the room.
“What do you mean?”
“I wasn’t aware that the two of you were a thing now.”
Her statement did nothing to help clear his confusion. With the lack of sleep, he was already short tempered and not in the mood to play twenty questions with the Russian spy this morning.
“We aren’t a thing, Romanoff. What gave you that impression?”
Hiding her smirk behind her cup as she stared at him to get a better read on him, Natasha didn’t see any signs of a lie.
“That’s not what it sounded like to me, Barnes. Since when do the two of you exchange sweet nothings in Italian?”
“Sweet nothings? I thought she told me that meant thank you. All I did was get her cup down for her.”
As she walked by him to head into the living room, she patted him on the shoulder and gave him a grin he didn’t understand.
“Yes, Buck, grazie does mean thank you. However, our girl said grazie amore mio.”
“I’m not following you.”
“It translates to thank you my love. When you travel around Europe as a secret spy, you tend to pick up on ways to seduce a man in many different languages…”
Too stunned to speak, Bucky stood frozen in place as Natasha left the room with a huge smile on her face. After going down to attempt his work out, he couldn’t get the woman’s words out of his head. Is that really what you had been saying to him all along? Were you really calling him your love? Surely it was just a term of endearment, and you couldn’t possibly have meant it in the same way Natasha had implied.
Nearly thirty minutes later, he hadn’t even broken a sweat yet due to his complete distraction. In that moment, he made a choice. He was going to confront you about the true meaning of your wording. Either you felt the same as he did and the two of you could see where those feelings led, or he was just a friend to you, and he would finally know where he stood and could get back to focusing on other things again.
Just before he knocked on the door to your room, he finally realized what he was actually doing, and his nerves nearly got the best of him. Bucky had just put his hand back down and fought the urge to walk away when the door in front of him opened and you appeared. The sight of him in the doorway slightly startled you as you nearly walked right into him as you stepped through the door.
“Oh! Hey Buck.”
He offered a quiet greeting back and couldn’t help but just stare at you. You were no longer wearing your pajamas from earlier and appeared to have just stepped out of the shower. When he didn’t respond with anything else, your face shifted into a mixture of confusion and nervousness.
“Did… did you need something, Bucky?”
The question was enough to snap him out of his daze.
“Yeah, I uh… I just wanted to talk to you about something, but it appears that I picked a bad time. I didn’t realize you had somewhere to be. I’ll just catch you later.”
Just before he started to walk away, you smiled at him and shook your head.
“It’s alright. I was just going down to Nat’s room. She said she would rewrap my bandage around my ribs for me once I got dressed. It can wait. Did you… did you want to come inside?”
With a polite smile and nod of his head, he watched as you stepped aside and allowed him to enter the space. It was the first time he had stepped foot inside your room, but he immediately noticed how all the small accents you had added to the space were completely you somehow. All of the rooms were identical in design, but yours just seemed more… welcoming. Seeing the bandage in your hand, he licked his lips and tried to keep his voice steady.
“I can do it. If you want me too… I’ve done it before. If you’re comfortable with that. If not, it’s fine if you would rather have Natasha do it.”
Bucky was pleasantly surprised when you handed the roll of bandages over to him along with the clip to secure them.
“I don’t mind.”
He welcomed the distraction, but quickly realized that the task was more personal than he originally thought. Even though the fabric was being applied over the tank top you were wearing, it still required him to get quite close to you. Giving you the start of the band to hold against you, he wrapped his arms around your torso as he passed the bandages between his hands, making sure to keep it tight and secure to help support your ribcage as it healed. Just as he was finishing up, he looked down just in time to see you look up at him for a brief moment. That one look was enough to cause the atmosphere around the two of you to become slightly charged. You watched him as he stood perfectly still in front of you, mere inches away, without breaking the intense eye contact that had developed you.
“The clip?”
Bucky jumped into action at the mention of the item still in his hand.
“Oh, right. Yeah. Sorry.”
After quickly fastening the metal clip to secure the end of the bandage against the previous wraps around your body, he stepped back to put distance between you and him once again. Running his fingers through his hair, he tried to get his thoughts and emotions back under control.
“What was it you needed to talk to me about, Buck?”
Turning to face you, he found it difficult to breech the subject. His hand went up to the back of his neck as he glanced down at the floor to avoid your gaze.
“I…uh… need to ask you something… It’s about the bits of Italian that we’ve talked about. Apparently, this morning, Natasha overheard you in the kitchen telling me thank you and she… she told me what the full phrase means…”
You had been unaware that Nat was even in the room at the time, let alone the fact that she apparently spoke Italian as well. There was no denying the heat that crept upon your cheeks and you didn’t need a mirror to know that a flush was spreading across them.
“Oh… and umm… what exactly did she say? That it means?”
Not finding any other way around it, he just came right out and said it. Bucky knew that he had already opened the door to this discussion and there was no way to get out of it now. He was at a crossroads right now and he had no idea which direction he would be heading after this. After letting out a long sigh, he just came right out and said it.
“She said it doesn’t just mean ‘thank you’, it means ‘thank you my love’… Did you mean it the way it came across? Is that how you see me, doll? As your love?”
He watched as you studied his expression for a moment. In his heart, he knew what you were doing in your head right now. There was an internal struggle taking place that he could see behind your eyes. You were trying to read his body language to decide how you would answer his question. If he seemed upset with the notion, you would absolutely deny it and make certain to never say it again. However, if he seemed please with it, you would either be confirming that you meant it the way Natasha saw it, or you would let him down gently and let him know that you didn’t return his feelings. Just before you opened your mouth to speak, he stepped in and took the pressure off of you.
“Before you answer that, let me just say one thing first.”
The relief flooded your face as you looked down to where he had reached out and lightly grasped your arm to capture your attention. When you didn’t pull away, he seemed content to leave it resting there for now as he spoke.
“I just want you to know that no matter which way you meant it, I am okay with it. I need you to know that for me, I truly hope you meant it as something more. I should have said something much earlier to you, but I am absolutely enchanted by you, sweetheart. I have been since the day I met you. When you’re not around, I find myself obsessing over your smile, your laugh, the way your expression and your body language gives away any emotion that you are feeling! I love the way you always find a way to make every person in the room feel included and the way that even just the sight of you is enough to brighten my day. The thought of you makes it impossible to sleep, or to think, or to even focus on anything else but you. It was my feelings for you that prevented us from losing you yesterday without a second to spare. I hate that you got hurt when I prevented you from falling, but I would do it a million times again if that meant that I got to wake up to see your beautiful face this morning.
I wanted to say all of this to you for so long, but just haven’t had the courage to do so until this very moment. Even if you tell me that you didn’t mean it that way and that I am just a friend to you, at least I will know that I took a chance and told you how I felt about you. That being said, I really do wish you meant it, because you are myamore…my love…”
Bucky didn’t have to wait for very long to receive your answer. The longer he spoke, the wider your smile became until it spread across your face. With a slight bite of your lip as you pushed down the butterflies in your stomach, you carefully lifted up on to your toes while resting your hand on his chest to steady yourself. He barely had a moment to register what was happening before you softly pressed your lips to his. The kiss was sweet and delicate, but it was enough to let him know all he needed to know. With a dazed expression, he stared back into your eyes as you pulled away to look at him once again.
“The first time I let the term of endearment slip, I was relieved to know that you didn’t understand Italian so I could play it off as something casual at the time. After that, it just kind of… stuck. I had no idea that Nat spoke Italian, although it shouldn’t surprise me given her background. I’ve had feelings for you for quite some time now, Buck, but I couldn’t tell how you felt about me. You’ve always been polite and kind, and you usually seem so interested in anything I have to say, but I didn’t know if those mannerisms were out of friendship or something else. So, to answer your question… yes, Bucky Barnes, I meant it in the way you were hoping. I do consider you my love… amore mio.”
He was speechless. All he could do was smile back at you as the entire world disappeared, leaving only you and him standing there staring at each other. Placing his hand against your cheek, he slowly leaned down and kissed you this time, letting his lips linger slightly longer than you had a moment ago. Bucky had a feeling that his thoughts of you were far from fading anytime soon, but at least now he could express them to you.
He also knew he planned to learn more Italian going forward, and he knew the perfect person to teach him.
Break Up Just to Make Up (Bucky Barnes x Female Reader One Shot)
Song Inspiration: Make Up Sex by MGK (requested by @misswimberly
Warnings: just angst and a little fluff at the end, mentions of a breakup and relationship issues
Bucky hesitated at the front door to the apartment he shared with you. With his keys in his hand, he waited for any sign of life from inside as his mind reflected on the last words he had said to you.
“Fine then! Leave! See if I care!”
The words still caused a pit in his stomach as he thought about them while on his mission with Sam the last few days. Part of him wondered if you had taken his words to heart and really did leave after he stormed out. Another part of him felt relief at the thought, even if it did break his heart to be without you. Over the last few weeks, it seemed like all the two of you did was scream and fight until someone caved and initiated mind-blowing makeup sex. Things would be good for a day or two until something else kicked things off all over again.
No longer able to put it off any longer, he placed his key in the lock and slowly stepped inside. The first thing he noticed was the absolute silence that filled the space. The air around him still held the tension that hung when he had left days ago. Neither of you reached out to each other in that span of time.
No phone calls.
No texts.
Nothing.
Stepping into the kitchen first, he grabbed a drink from the fridge and that was when he noticed the first change. Your vitamin container that remained by the coffee pot as a daily reminder was no longer there. Leaning back to glance at the entry way once more, he made note of not only the absence of your purse on the small table, but also your phone charger as well. He could have easily dismissed it somehow, but the empty spaces on the wall above it where the photos of you and your nieces had hung told him everything he needed to know.
“Way to go, Barnes. You get one good thing in your life, and you ruin that too.”
After chugging the bottle of water in his hand, he picked up his duffle and made his way through the rest of the apartment. The missing items through out your shared space seemed to scream at him as he was flooded with the absence of the woman he loved. As he rounded the end of the hallway, he glanced into the bathroom and made note of the missing beauty products that always cluttered the counter. It was something that used to bother him, but now it just felt lonely.
Not paying attention to where he was going since he assumed he was alone, Bucky hadn’t expected to walk directly into another person. Reaching out to catch your arm as you stumbled back into the bedroom, he stared at you in disbelief for a moment until you pulled away.
“I uh… I forgot my uniforms for work. I’ll come back for the rest of my things this weekend when my sister has a sitter for the kids.”
As you stepped around him to head for the front door with an armful of clothes, he found himself reaching out for your arm again. Even though you stopped, you didn’t turn back towards him. With your back to him, he saw the subtle shake of your shoulders as you started to cry and take a few unsteady breaths.
“Don’t go. Please.”
Your arm broke free from his grip as you reached up to wipe your tears with the back of your hand. The emotion in your voice broke his heart as your words were barely above a whisper.
“You made it clear that you wanted me gone, Buck. I’m simply honoring your wishes.”
“I didn’t mean it, doll. Can we talk? Please? We can still fix this.”
Bucky watched as you turned around to finally face him with a confused and slightly angry expression on your face.
“Can we though? All we do is fight, Bucky. It’s obvious that neither of us are happy anymore. You’re always off saving the world and even when you arehere, your mind is somewhere else. Hell, between me working nights and your constant missions, we barely even see each other. When we actually are together, it’s only spent fighting or making up just to do it all over again. I’m exhausted, Buck. I can’t keep going like this and after the things you said to me before you left yet again, it’s quite apparent that you can’t do this either. Ever since I turned down the job with S.H.I.E.L.D., you’ve been someone I don’t even know anymore.”
He ran his fingers through his hair as he sighed. As much as he didn’t want to talk about the interview you had walked out on last month, he knew that things went downhill just after that.
“I know I haven’t been the easiest person to be around lately, angel, and I’m sorry. I’m sick of fighting too. I just want to go back to the way things used to be between us. I know we may have moved fast, but everything was so perfect! I don’t know what changed, but I do love you and want to be with you. I don’t want to lose you.”
Even with your arms full, you still appeared to have your arms crossed over your chest with a look he was extremely familiar with after nearly a year together. Bucky knew the next words out of your mouth were going to have some bite to them.
“I’m not sure if I believe you anymore, James… If you really loved me and wanted to be with me, then why are you so ashamed of me?”
“Ashamed of you? What the hell makes you think I’m ashamed of you?”
No longer comfortable standing in the hall with an armful of clothes, you made your way into the living room and dropped the uniforms and your purse down on the couch. If the two of you were going to have one last fight, you were going to get the answers you needed, no matter how much they hurt.
“You lied to them, Barnes! If you weren’t ashamed of me, then why would you lie about how we met? The chick that checked me in for my interview asked me if Sam was the friend that set us up. You told them we met on a blind date?! That’s not exactly how I remember it! I seem to recall you coming into the bar and watching me dance while you drank until nearly closing most nights until I finally agreed to give you the time of day.”
Bucky rolled his eyes before he could stop himself, knowing it was going to do nothing to calm you down. Just before you laid into him for it, he held up his hand to stop you.
“So I told them we met on a blind date! I barely know those people. I don’t want them to know about my personal life.”
“Then why mention that we were together at all, Barnes?”
“To make sure you got the interview!”
By the look on your face, he knew that was the wrong answer. Bucky stood in the middle of the room and watched as you slowly sat down on the couch in front of him and held your head in your hands. When you finally looked at him, the anger had faded into a deep hurt that he wasn’t expecting.
“Wow… of all the people in my life, Buck, you were the last one I expected to judge me. I’m sure the fact that I’m a semester away from graduating at the top of my class is enough to get me an interview with any company I choose. So, I put myself through school while dancing in a cage at a night club while picking up extra shifts to tend bar. Big deal. I didn’t think that mattered enough for you to remove it from my job history on the application. I’m starting to think it’s less about me getting the job and more about you looking down on me for how I pay for my tuition without going into debt to do it.”
Neither of you said anything as the silence filled the space between the two of you. Bucky didn’t have anything to say in that moment. Seeing it from your perspective made it impossible to believe that he had your best interests in mind when he did what he did. The second he had altered the file, he knew it was wrong, but he had thought he was doing it for you. Walking over towards you, he knelt down in the floor in front of you before you finally looked up at him. After taking your hands into his, he kissed both of them before looking up at you again.
“You’re right, doll. What I did was over the line and I’m sorry I did it. I never wanted them to judge your history without knowing the real you first, but instead I ended up being the close minded one. I’ve never been ashamed of who you are or how we met. I think you are one of the strongest people I know because of how independent you are. I guess sometimes, I worry that you are so independent that you don’t need me either. I see now that I may have been projecting those worries onto your decision to cancel the interview. Maybe instead of acknowledging how strong you are, I’ve been trying to prove that I don’t need you either. That is the furthest thing from the truth, sweetheart. Coming home today and seeing your things missing and knowing that you finally left me hurt worse than I thought possible.”
Bucky sighed as you leaned forward and rested your forehead against his instead of pulling away from him.
“I do need you, Buck. More than I could ever tell you. I guess I’ve been on my own for so long that I forget that I’m not alone anymore.”
Testing the waters, he squeezed your hands and kissed them once more.
“Can you forgive me, angel? Will you please stay and let me try to make it up to you?”
“Only if that’s what you really want, Bucky. If so, no more pushing me to leave and no more overstepping when it comes to my career.”
Leaning forward to press his lips to yours, he smiled back at you before pulling you to his chest.
“Deal… now what do you say we go back to the bedroom and make up one more time?”
The smile on your face was all he needed to see as he quickly stood and threw you over his shoulder to carry you back to your shared bedroom with you laughing the entire way there.
Bucky stroked the tops of the tabby cat that made it a daily habit of visiting him by the window that led to his fire escape. He knew that she’d belong to someone in the apartment building but he wasn’t sure to whom exactly since the tag on her collar only had her name on it.
“Ginger your owner is most definitely wondering where the hell you are.” The feline purred at the extra affection she was receiving from him. Bucky scooped her up into his arms and returned to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee.
“When I’m finished here you and I are going to find who you belong to.” Ginger meows as if she understood a word of what he said, bringing a smile to his usually stoic face. She completely relaxed against his naked torso, taking in her surroundings.
There was a knock at his door which took him by surprise, no one has ever knocked on his door since he moved in and he was kind of hoping that it would stay that way. Ginger and Bucky both looked at each other and the one hundred and six year old man moved to answer the door. Thanks to the peephole, he could see who was on the other side and to his surprise it was a young woman.
“Hello?”
“Hi, sorry to bother you. I live two doors down and I’m just looking for my cat, Ginger. She managed to get out and I don’t know where she could’ve gone.” Bucky opened the door wider for her to see her tabby cat relaxing in his hold.
“Ginger!”
“Believe it or not I was going to go knocking door to door to find her owner but thankfully I don’t have to. You might want to keep your windows closed though.” The woman stretched to take her feline from the man with a metal arm.
“Thank you. I should probably get going, have a good day.” Ginger meows in her owner’s arms as she turned to leave and before he knew what was happening, Bucky called out to her.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name doll. I’m James.”
“Y/N, thanks again but I really should go if I want to make it to work on time.”
“See ya around.”
She flashed him a genuine smile before heading down the hall to her apartment. Bucky stood in his doorway watching as she disappeared into her place with the tabby cat. He didn’t know what it was about her but for some reason he felt drawn to her making him hope to see her again.
Y/N on the other hand waited until she was in the confines of her apartment to release the breath she’d been holding. She had a conversation with a highly attractive man and surprisingly it went better than expected. At the time she had to remind herself not to stare at his torso because how could she not when it was on full display in front of her. Y/N kissed the animal before setting her down on the sofa, smiling at the fact that her pet got attached to her attractive neighbour that she wanted to see again.
It had been a testing day. All the days lately seemed that way. John Walker had killed a man, taken the serum and Bucky had discovered that his arm could be removed. That fact had hit him hard, harder than I thought, and he had lashed out at me only a few minutes ago. I’m sure everyone in the townhouse heard, maybe even the neighbours.
So now I sat alone in the dark, in the plush living room thinking how my life had changed so much in the course of a month. I wanted to roll my eyes when I saw Zemo stroll in.
“Rough night?” He joked.
“Shut up,” I grumbled back.
He went to the kitchen. “My wife and I used to fight all the time,” there was a dip in his voice.
He came back with two glasses of wine in his hands. Warily, I took one from him. “What did you guys fight about?” I asked.
Zemo shrugged. “Things that seem silly now,”
“I didn’t know it would be this hard,” I whispered after a beat of silence.
Zemo softly chuckled. “You’re boyfriend is the Winter Soldier, it was always going to be hard.”
I wanted to slap him, but instead I sipped my wine and prayed he’d leave me alone. Instead, Zemo settled further down into the sofa. I wanted to ask him more about his family before The Avengers came, what his life was like. But I didn’t want to create a falsehood of friendship with him. We certainly weren’t that.
“You know,” Zemo said. “Life would get easier if you walked away,”
I scoffed. “Stop it,”
“I’m being serious,” he said. “You wouldn’t have to run around the world chasing after him, you wouldn’t have to worry, you could be normal,”
Slowly I looked over at him. “But…” I trailed off.
“You do so much for him,” Zemo said. “And what does he do? Yells at you, treats you like nothing,”
“He doesn’t mean to,” I meekly said.
“Doesn’t he?” Zemo asked. “He’s a Super Soldier, violence is wired into them, it’s only a matter of time before he reallysnaps,”
I suddenly stood, placing down my wine and pacing. “Shut up!” I yelled.
“You know it, I know you do, you can’t be that stupid,” he casually said.
“Bucky is a good man and would never hurt me,” I said.
Zemo only smirked over the rim of the glass. “Y/N, he already has.”
I pinched my eyes shut and rubbed my temples. “You don’t know him,”
“I know him better than you,”
“No you don’t!” I yelled. “You know the Winter Soldier, they are two very different people,”
Zemo chuckled. “Can you not see? They are the same,”
“Would the Winter Soldier buy me flowers?” I snapped. “Would he rub my shoulders after work, clean the apartment when he’s bored, hold me so close at night I think he’d suffocate me?” I ranted. “Would the Winter Soldier tell me stupid jokes when I’m sad, would he make dinner when I’m tired, care for me when I’m sick?”
Zemo went to speak. “Y/N-“
“No he wouldn’t,” I interrupted. “But Bucky does. You know the cold hearted killing machine, I know that sweet and caring man,”
Zemo stared at me for a moment. “You talk like he hung the moon for you,”
“Maybe he did, god knows he’d try,” I huffed back.
Zemo stood and nodded behind me, a smile coming over his face before turning on his heels and walking away. It was comical really, turning around to see Bucky stood in the archway. His eyebrows were knitted together, arms hanging by his side.
There was a long pause. “You really think those things about me?” Bucky finally whispered.
He seemed shocked that I was with him, furrowing his brows but catching my body in his. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and squeezed, his hands holding my hips close.
“What are you doing here?” He asked.
“Don’t worry about that,” I smiled as I cupped his cheeks.
Bucky seemed to catch up with himself and hastily pressed a kiss to my lips. Sharon cooed whilst Sam groaned and turned around. I pulled back as a blush crept up my neck.
“Not even five minutes,” Sam muttered as I walked towards him with my arms stretched wide.
“Jealous Sammy?” I winked as I hugged him.
“Who’s gonna introduce me to the lovely girlfriend?” I tensed as I heard a familiar voice.
Turning around slowly my blood ran cold as my eyes narrowed. “You,”
Bucky quickly held me back as I went to launch myself at Zemo. “You’re feisty for a historian,” he teased.
“Youused me to get to Bucky,” I snarled. “I have a mind to teach you a few things,”
“We’re working with him,” Bucky said into my ear.
“What?” I snapped, looking up at him.
“He knows things no one else does,” Bucky said again. “He’s fine.”
I shrugged Bucky off and glared at them. “You’re all morons,”
“Come on, let’s get ready for the party,” Sharon tugged me around the room as I continued to stare them all down.
Two bottles of wine, a dress far too tight and a large amount of make up later, Sharon was slipping on her heals and listening to me rant.
“I mean, he literally murdered someone to get to Buck, and they’re pretending that never happened?” I finished my wine. “Men, fucking idiots,”
The base had long started booming through the grand apartment. “Come on, drink your troubles away on the dance floor.”
I didn’t see Bucky or Sam for a while, Sharon and I closely dancing with each other. We howled with laughter as she span me around and tugged me back into her. Our noses bumped as I watched as a drop of sweat trickled down her forehead to her cheek.
I turned my head to see Bucky standing still with body’s moving around him, his eyes trailing over me before flicking to look at my face. The alcohol had eased my anger towards his stupid actions, however, I wasn’t so easy as to forgive him entirely.
Sharon pushed me towards him, Bucky catching me as I stumbled into his arms. I lazily slung my arms over his shoulders and toyed with his hair.
“How much have you had to drink?” Bucky’s low voice said into my ear.
I giggled. “Enough for two,”
He couldn’t help the smile that tugged on his lips. “Are you still angry with me?”
His hands went to my hips and pulled me close, head going to the crook of my neck. “Maybe another drink and I won’t be,”
He scoffed against my skin, kissing the hot skin. “I know what I’m doing,”
My hand wound into his hair and tugged him back, his eyes casting down to mine. “I trust you,” I hummed.
Bucky’s fingers laced with mine as he quickly tugged me through the moving crowd. I stumbled on my heels, trying to pull him back but Bucky simply surged forward. He led me down a quiet hallway, trying doors that were locked until one near the end opened.
The office looked unused and barren. A smart desk, bookshelves lining the walls and a small seating area near the front of the room. Before I could asked what Bucky was doing, he locked the door and pressed me against it.
“Say it again,” he asked as he nipped at my exposed shoulder, moving to suck on my neck.
I furrowed my brows and bit back a moan. “Say what again?”
“What you said on the dance floor,” his hand came up to squeeze my breast.
I gasped as he easily found my nipple through the thin fabric and harshly tugged, rolling it between his thumb and finger.
“I-I can’t remember what I said,” I confessed as I bucked my hips against his.
He pulled back and pressed his forehead mine. “You said you trusted me,”
The tension slowed. “Of course I do,” I whispered.
“Say it,”
“I trust you,”
“Say it again,” he picked my up and wrapped my legs around his waist, pressing me against the door.
“I trust you with everything I have, Bucky.” I cooed into his ear.
He groaned into my neck and rutted his hips against mine, the dress riding up and exposing my bare thighs. His hands slid down to cup my behind, squeezing the flesh tightly which enticed another gasp from my lips.
“Please baby,” he strained. “Haven’t felt you for so long,”
I whined. “Yes,”
I slid down his body, our height difference still distinct, even with the heels on. He spun me around, back to front, trapping my body to the door with his.
“Gonna be quick Doll,” he pulled himself out of his tight jeans. “Can’t have Sharon knowing I’m fucking you in her office,”
I moaned and tilted me head back, gazing up at Bucky. “Please, give me your cock,”
His eyes rolled back as he eased into me, a moan leaving my lips as he filled me. “So fucking tight,” he swore as he bottomed out. “God I missed you,”
I giggled. “I missed you too,”
His hips drew back slowly and eased forward again, hands holding my hips tightly. “Touched myself thinking of you,” he confessed breathlessly.
“Really?” I squeaked as his hips snapped roughly.
“Thought of you beneath me,” Bucky said. “Looking so fucked out as you always do,”
“You’re so good,” I whined.
“Yeah?” I could feel his ego swelling. “My cock the best you ever had?”
“Yes!” His hand stooped down and found my clit, rubbing tight circles into my bundle of nerves.
“Know it is,” he said. “Fucking know ‘cos you’re such a little slut for it,”
“I-I like that you touched yourself t-thinking of me,” I hiccuped as he gave a particularly hard thrust.
“Yeah?” He teased. “Stroked my cock loads honey, just imaging my hand was this tight little pussy. Nothing - fuck - nothing feels as good as you, like you were made to take my cock,”
“Bucky!”
“Like that thought? That you were born just to give me pleasure, someone to shove my cock into?” He was cocky and loving the dominance he rarely found in real life.
My stomach began to tighten as I felt my release creeping up on me. “I’m gonna…Buck, please-“
“Cum baby,” he ordered, fingers increasing their speed. “Haven’t felt you cum in so long,”
I threw my head back and cried out loudly. My legs shook and gave way, Bucky holding me up. I saw stars as he sunk his teeth into my neck and groaned, cumming inside me quickly. With a few more ruts of his hips, Bucky slowed as fell into me against the door.
“Fuck,” I sighed.
“I know,” I giggled and gasped again as he pulled himself out. Bucky stopped to look at his work, squeezing my hips. “Still a sight to hold,”
He pulled down my skirt and turned me around. “I meant it though, I do miss you when you’re gone,”
His thumb ran over my cheek. “This one last job, and I’ll be back.” He reassured me.
My gut twisted and I knew it was a lie. But I simply leant up and kissed him, unlocking the door and leading him back to the party.
I nervously waited outside the police station, looking down at my phone constantly in case he called. Arrested because he missed his therapy, I could almost laugh at the simplicity of it. Not for hurting someone, not for running away, but simply because he was late.
John Walker waltzed out of the door and down the steps, walking past me before stopping and turning to look.
“Y/N, right?”
I’d been made to swear to Bucky I’d never speak to him, but I couldn’t be so awkward as to blank him. “Yep,”
He chuckled a little at my short response, moving to stand in front of me. “John,” he stuck out his hand but I folded my arms. “Bucky told you not to talk to me, huh?”
“No,” I lied. “I just don’t appreciate you talking down to Sam and Bucky.”
“When did I talk down to them?” He asked with a cocky smirk.
“What was it? Wingmen?” I said. “They are both hero’s in their own right, Steve had very little to do with that,”
“Oh honey,” he hummed. “I really don’t think your boyfriend is a hero.”
I could tell him. I could tell him what Bucky did during World War II, how he helped in Wakanda and how he’s bettering himself today. But the thing is with men like John is that they really don’t care to listen.
“John,” I sighed. “I would love to tell you everything Bucky has done, the sacrifices he’s made, but men like you will only ever hear what they want to.”
He simply smirked down at me. “Whatever helps you sleep at night,”
Before I could say another word Sam and Bucky were walking towards us. “Doll,” Bucky sceptically said as he tugged me away from John.
“She’s a real nice girl,” John said. “Seems good for you.”
“He fucking gave it up,” I jumped as Bucky stormed into the kitchen, voice booming and practically shaking the windows.
“What?” I frowned, drying my hands.
“Sam,” Buck began to pace. “He gave up the shield and now they have this clown parading around as Captain America,”
“What are you talking about?” I was quickly led into the living room where the TV was playing a news segment called: The New Cap?
“He’s a coward.” Bucky grumbled as he crossed his arms.
I sighed. “He isn’t.” I mumbled back.
“What?” Bucky’s eyes widened.
“I understand why Sam did it,” I wandered back into the kitchen, Bucky hot on my heels.
“Steve chose him, not this joker.” Bucky’s anger was getting the better of him.
“Steve didn’t understand the pressure that went with the job,” I said. “It’s a very different thing creating a name and then carrying it on,”
“Steve obviously saw something in Sam that made him think he could carry it on, and Sam didn’t even try,” Bucky began to flush with anger.
“Maybe Steve was wrong,” I simply shrugged, not thinking of my statement.
There was a beat of silence. “Steve wasn’t wrong.”
“Is that so ridiculous to think?” I asked.
“Yes, it is.” Bucky’s fists clenched at his sides.
“Why?”
“Because if Steve was wrong about Sam, then Steve was wrong about me,” his voice dropped a tone, shoulders hunching.
“What?” I frowned.
“Is that so ridiculous to think?” He mocked me.
“Yes, it is.” I mocked back. “This isn’t about you Bucky, this is about Sam,”
His face contorted in anger. “That shield is as much mine as it was Sams, I was there when he got it!”
“No it isn’t,” I snapped back. “It was Steve’s and then it was Sams, it was never yours.”
I jumped as Bucky grabbed a near by glass and hurled it at the wall, the feeble thing shattering all over the floor. I looked over to Bucky, eyes wide and face pale as Bucky’s breathing heaved.
“Fuck you,” was all he uttered before storming out of the apartment.
“Don’t feel like you have to pay me,” I said. “I like cleaning and doing your laundry.”
Yori cocked a brow. “No one likes doing that,”
“Well I guess I’m someone then,” I winked back. Yori simply folded his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. “Fine, where are we going?”
“Don’t worry, I know a place,” he smiled as he got his coat.
We walked slowly through the busy streets of Brooklyn, Yori holding onto my arm. He casually pointed at shops and told me what used to be there, who lived there and where they went. I longed to sit him down and pick his brains, but his memory was starting to fade so I simply took what I could get.
“Bucky!” My eyes snapped up as Yori exclaimed to a man walking towards us.
An easy smile graced the mans face. “Yori,” his voice was deep and velvety.
“We’re going to lunch, join.” The old man insisted.
Bucky’s eyes nervously flicked over to me. “I don’t wanna intrude,”
Yori waved him off and stepped away from me, walking considerably faster down the sidewalk than he had before. “Come! I’m nearly there!”
We both laughed and looked at each other. “I’m Y/N,” I introduced.
“Bucky,” he smiled back.
Despite the Brooklyn summer heat, he wore a thick leather jacket and gloves. His jeans were black and top navy blue. I was in a white, summery dress and I almost noted aloud how opposite we looked.
Instead, we both hurried after Yuri who was almost out of sight. The restaurant claimed to serve British Cuisine, and I chuckled a little.
“Slice of home,” Yori said to me.
“How very considerate of you,” I smiled.
“I went to the UK once,” Bucky piped up. “My pal married a girl from there.”
“Really?” I said. “What took you to my side of the pond?”
“The war-“ he stopped mid-sentence.
I furrowed my brows, he looked far too young to have taken rank in any war that would take him to the UK. “Afghanistan?” I asked.
Bucky quickly nodded. “Yeah,”
The conversation died as we found a table and sat. Yori looked at both of us with a sly smirk, trying to hide it behind his menu. Bucky and I both glanced at each other.
Suddenly, Yori slammed down his menu. “Whoops, I forgot, I’m meeting with another friend,” he began to get up.
“Wait, what?” Bucky frowned.
“Have fun on your date!” Yori waved as he hurried out the restaurant.
There was a beat of silence as Bucky and I both frowned. “I feel we’ve been set up,” I finally said.
“I feel that too.” Bucky laughed.
“Well I don’t know about you, but I’m getting fish and chips,”
The conversation flowed easily. Bucky said he was born in Brooklyn and noted how much the area had changed since his youth. I felt as though that was an inside joke I didn’t understand when he said it, a smirk playing on his lips as he spoke. He asked what brought me here and the boring answer was work.
“What do you do?” Bucky asked as he pushed some Shepard’s Pie on his plate.
“I’m a Historian,” I smiled. “It isn’t as boring as it sounds.”
Bucky laughed. “I love history actually,”
“Any particular parts?” I leant back in my seat.
Bucky shrugged. “World Wars and onwards,” another inside joke I wasn’t part of.
“I did my thesis on American Impact during the Second World War,” I said.
Bucky leant forward. “And?”
“Steve Rogers alone was enough to help morale in the Europe,” I giggled.
Bucky’s brows furrowed. “Really? The guys in Europe hated him. I remember when he-“ Bucky stopped talking.
“You’ve done that a lot,” I said after a moments silence.
“Done what?” He asked.
“Talked like you were there,” I explained. “Like there are all these inside jokes I don’t know.”
“Dunno what you’re talking about.” His eyes glistened.
“About Brooklyn changing, you in the UK, the World Wars,” I listed off. “Would it be too ridiculous to say you’re 100 years old?” I joked.
“106.”
“What?”
“I’m a 106.” I laughed until I saw the look of his face.
“No you aren’t,” my brain began to connect the dots. “Bucky…Buchanan…you’re James Barnes?”
His eyes cast down as he nodded. “I’ll go,”
Bucky quickly stood. “Wait! Why?” He didn’t reply as he sprinted out of the restaurant.
Without thinking I bolted after him. He was quick, half way down the street. I ran behind him, taking a long moment to catch up. Finally I caught his arm and jerked him back.
“Why are you leaving?” I panted.
“Look, you don’t have to be nice, I know that when people find out who I am they don’t usually wanna talk to me,” he grumbled.
“Are you kidding me?” I gaped. “You’re my dream!”
His brows furrowed. “What?”
“You’re a comprehensive, fully functioning 106 year old!” I smiled. “Your memories alone could make a book,”
“You don’t wanna know what goes on in my head,” he darkly warned.
My lips pouted. “Of course I do,”
His eyes cast down to me. “Hey! Hey you two!” We both turned to see a frantic waiter coming towards us. “I’ll call the police if you don’t pay!”
Bucky presented his wallet and took out a wad of cash. “Sorry,” he stiffly smiled.
The waiter huffed and grabbed the cash, walking away. “Please just…” I sighed. “We don’t have to talk about memories, I enjoyed our lunch, I find you interesting,”
“Really?” He seemed taken aback.
“Really.”
His lips pursed as he momentarily closed his eyes. They opened softer than before. “I know this bakery, wanna…grab a coffee?”
“Stay safe you,” Matt said as I walked out of the small bookshop.
“Always try.” I smiled back as I skipped down the steps.
I scanned over the books I’d bought on my short walk home, turning the first few pages and already sinking into the stories within. The streets were quiet, sun setting as I hurried home to avoid dark.
I finally stepped foot inside my apartment and immediately went around and turned on all the lamps. I detested the dark, an old habit I found hard to break, as I swiftly checked from room to room. I did this to make sure no one was inside, but in the back of my mind I only looked for one man. Books placed on the side, I was about to sit down when a heavy knock sounded from the door.
“Bloody hell,” I muttered as I walked over. I swung open the door.
Fuck.
Slamming it shut quickly my heart raced and face paled. I could throw up, or faint, and I considered doing both. How did he know where I lived? What was he planning on doing? I bargained that I’d never go to police, and I didn’t for that matter, so why is he here?
“Y/N?” The Winter Solider said through the door.
“I-I haven’t told anyone.” I said.
“That isn’t why I’m here.” His voice was softer than I remembered, he sounded…normal.
“P-Please just go.” I begged, hand still tightly holding the doorknob.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he promised. “I won’t even come into the apartment, I just need to say something.”
I peeped through the spy hole, making sure he was alone. He usually was, however, on one occasion he brought back up. That was the worst of times.
“Step away from the door.” I ordered, to which he readily complied and took two large steps back. I opened the door a crack, waiting for him to pounce. But he remained firmly planted in his spot.
Warily, I creaked the door open. He was dressed in black jeans, a navy top and a black leather jacket. His hair was cut short, his beard was growing out and he no longer donned the muzzle he used to in public. Gloves covered his hand. He looked completely normal.
“My name is James Buchanan Barnes, and I am no longer the Winter Solider,” he said. “Apologising to you is my way of making amends with my past.”
I furrowed my brows. “What?”
He gulped. “I…I did awful things to you, and I’m sorry.”
“Is this…is this a joke?” I asked, peeping my head out a little and looking down the hallway.
He shook his head. “I’m trying to be a better person, and apologising to you is part of that. I could also, do things for you?”
My eyes widened. “Excuse me?”
“No!” He said. “No, I meant like…jobs or, I dunno…anything.”
“I’m so confused.” I whined as I rubbed my eyes. “Are you going to kill me?”
He shook his head. “No.”
His eyes looked pleadingly at me. He was alone, he looked normal and I could feel the truth drip off his words. After a long pause, I sighed deeply.
“Do you want to come in?” I stepped aside.
“If that’s okay.” He stiffly smiled and walked past me.
I shut the door and watched him. He looked around the small space, standing in the hallway. I had photos lining the walls, all of friends and family, and he took care to look at some of them.
“You can take off your coat and gloves.” He nodded and shrugged of his jacket, however, chose to leave the gloves on.
“Nice place.” He complimented.
“Thanks,” I had no clue how to act around him. He followed behind me as I led him into the kitchen, turning to face him as he lingered in the doorway. “I was going to cook some dinner.”
He nodded. “Anything special?”
I shook my head. “You could…join, we could talk.”
“That would be…nice.” He smiled.
I cooked in near silence. James took a seat at the small table by the window and watched me as I mulled around the kitchen. Chicken in, salad made, I turned to face him.
“It’ll be about half an hour.” I said as I sat opposite him.
“You’re being very kind.” He said.
“So, what is this?” I gestured between us.
He leant back. “The US Government has pardoned me, and part of that agreement is that I have to go to therapy. My Doc came up with a plan to help me…move on from my past. I have to go around and make amends with the people I hurt, or helped, and that means you.”
I nodded. “How many have you done?” I asked.
“A few,” he said. “I was…I was putting off doing you.”
I frowned. “Why?”
His eyes cast over to me as he took a shaky breath. “I…hurt you. In life changing ways, even if you forgave me, I could never forgive myself.”
I pursed my lips for a moment and didn’t speak. His eyes looked down at his lap, a sad expression coming over his face.
“I hated you,” I whispered. “I always thought in my head that if I ever got the chance, I’d kill you. But then I spent a while researching you, your past. What they did to you, how they treated you, what they made you do. And I realised, it wasn’t really you who hurt me, it was them.”
He gazed at me through his lashes. “Y/N…”
“You have nothing to apologise for,” I smiled, reaching over and taking his hand. “Water under the bridge.”
His hands flexed, squeezing mine. “Water under the bridge.” He repeated.
The gloves were soft against my hands as I peered down at them. “Can I see?”
His face grew uneasy as he shifted in his seat. “Um…yeah, sure.”
He peeled the gloves of slowly, almost waiting to me to stop him. The metal had changed. Instead of the bright silver I was used to, it instead was sleek black with gold details. He rolled his sleeve up as high as it would go, the infamous star now gone. It suited him better, I thought, complimented him more.
“It looks nice,” I smiled. “Better than the old one.”
“Thank you.”
“Could I?” He gave me a nod as I ran my ran over the cool metal.
It was really a work of art. Oddly, this one didn’t scare me. The other had felt my skin, brought me to the edge of death so many times, but this one? This one had only gently squeezed me hands.
We both jumped as the oven beeped, giggling a little as I stood and plated up our meal. We ate quietly, James complimenting my cooking one too many times. The evening drew on and soon James was shrugging on his jacket and lingering by the door.
“Thank you,” he smiled. “Dinner was amazing.”
I laughed. “I’ll have to cook it again.”
His eyes glistened with happiness at the chance of us seeing each other again. “I’d like that.”
I opened the door for him. “It was nice seeing you, the realyou.”
He nodded. “I meant it you know, need a boiler fixing, walls painted, I’ll do it.”
He quickly scribbled his number in a small notebook and ripped out the page and handed it to me. “I’ll keep that in mind,”
“Bye.”
“Bye.” He danced around me for a moment before enveloping me in a short, tight hug.
Weeks passed and I didn’t contact him. I thought I’d be a painful reminder of his past and thus didn’t want to keep contact with him. That was, until my sink burst and my landlord claimed it wasn’t his responsibility. I’d tried hard to fix it myself, and the local plumbers charged ridiculous rates, so I found myself texting James.
To James B -
Hi! Sorry I haven’t contacted you before, been very busy! Could I pick up the favour you owe me? My sink has burst and I’m in desperate need of a plumber. - Y/N
I didn’t expect a reply, but he text back before I’d even put my phone back on the table.
From James B -
Hey! No worries. Heading over now.
I scrambled to tidy the apartment, dreading to confess I in fact lived like a pig most days. After a frantic half an hour, a knock sounded from the door.
“You’re a life saver,” I sighed as I opened the door.
James offered a lopsided smile, shrugging his shoulders. “No worries,”
“It burst two days ago, I had a go myself but I think I made it worse.” James set his bag of tools on the counter and opened the cupboard under the sink.
“Oh yeah, I see what’s wrong,” he silently set to work, laying on his back and doing god-knows-what.
After a while I went into the living room and read my book, curling my legs underneath me and settling down. James banged about the kitchen and a swear word or two later, he popped his head around the door.
“Done.”
“So soon?” I quickly stood and bounced into the kitchen. I turned the tap and stepped back, expecting water to drown my feet, but instead it simply swirled down the drain. “It lives!”
James chuckled at my remark. “A few bolts came loose and disconnected, easy stuff really,”
“Thank you James.”
“Bucky,” he quickly said. “Call me Bucky.”
“Thank you, Bucky.” I smiled. “Want to stay for lunch?”
“Yeah,”
We chatted mindlessly as we made sandwiches, Bucky telling me about his childhood. When he was the Winter Soldier I only heard gruff orders, but he had a voice that sounded smooth and sweet. His eyes lit up when he spoke of his siblings and parents, of a life that felt like thousands of years ago.
“You got a boyfriend?” Bucky asked, fiddling with the label on his beer.
I cocked a brow. “No, you?”
“No.” Bucky said. “I’ve tried these dating websites but…feel out of my depth.”
I nodded in understanding. “I abandoned those long ago,”
“I’m glad you text me.” He said. “I’ve spent the last few weeks wondering if you would.”
“Truthfully, I thought you wouldn’t want to speak to me.” I confessed.
“Why would you think that?” He frowned.
“I’m a reminder of your past,” I explained. “I can understand that even looking at me must be hard for you.”
Bucky paused for a moment and scanned over my face. “I see you as my salvation, not my damnation.”
I smiled. “I don’t think I said it before,” I shuffled a little closer. “But I forgive you, Bucky.”
His breath hitched, arm dropping to rest behind my head. “Say it again.” He whispered.
“I forgive you.”
Our bodies were close, Bucky resting his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes and waited for him to make a move, but they fluttered back open when I felt the moment slipping.
“I don’t want to push it,” he confessed.
“You aren’t.” I promised.
“I did bad things to you,” his hand stroked over my cheek.
“Then do something good.”
His lips pressed to mine. They were soft, softer than I’d thought, and he went slow and easy. I sighed into the kiss and pressed my body flush against his, my hands planting on his chest. His hand on the back of the couch slid off and looped behind me back, pressing me further into his as the other hand slid into my hair and held me close.
“Please,” he mumbled against me.
“Yes.”
Bucky eased me back into the sofa, lips still pressed tightly to mine as he eased between my splayed thighs. My hands moved up to fist his short hair, causing a quiet groan to escape his lips. Bucky’s hands held onto my hips as he gently, almost teasingly, ground his crotch to mine.
“Lemme make it better,” he whispered, trailing kisses down my cheek and neck.
“You can do anything,” I breathlessly promised, rolling my body up.
His hand slid down my stomach and into the back of my loose trousers, cupping my clothed pussy and flexing his fingers. I gasped and threw my head back, Bucky surfacing to peer down at me with hooded eyes.
“There?” I nodded at his question.
His fingers eased my underwear to the side and felt over the slickness he’d created. The cool metal of his hand ran over my burning cheeks and I thanked god for the relief of coldness in this moment. My eyes widened as his finger tips circled my swollen bud.
“So wet,” he murmured, gazing into my eyes.
“For you.” I whimpered back, cupping his cheeks.
“Me?” I nodded. “Good girl,”
I moaned again at his words, his fingers picking up their pace. My back arched as he eased two fingers into me, stretching me out. He groaned a little, muttering something about my tightness, before pressing his lips to mine.
“O-Other hand,” I said against his lips.
“What?” He pulled back, stopping his movements.
“Can you u-use your other hand?” I pouted my lips.
“Are you sure?” He furrowed his brows.
I nodded. Bucky removed his hand from my underwear, offering his glistening fingers to my lips. I hastily took them in my mouth, small hand wrapping around his wrist as I sucked. He momentarily closed his eyes, losing himself for a second before easing his metal hand between our bodies.
“Really?” He questioned again, playing with the waistband of my trousers.
I bucked my hips. “Please,”
I couldn’t help the loud moan that left my mouth as his metal fingers resumed his flesh fingers task. They rubbed tightly into my clit, causing my eyes to pinch shut and my jaw to slacken and drop.
“Such a good girl for me,” he cooed against my cheek.
I whimpered again. “I-I’m-“
“Gonna cum baby?” He asked, fingers increasing their speed.
I nodded and cried. “Yes!”
“Like feeling my metal hand, huh?” He teased with a smirk.
“I do! Yes!” My nails bit into the skin of his forearm, the other hand running over the smooth metal of his shoulder. “Oh Bucky!”
“Cum,” he shortly ordered. “Please baby, please cum.”
My head threw back and I saw stars. My back arched as Bucky wrapped and arm under me and held me close. He moaned softly into my neck, grounding his crotch against my thigh. My arms loops around his neck as I shuddered against him.
“S-Stop,” I begged, gently coaxing his hand from my underwear.
“Sorry baby.” He sighed into my neck.
We stayed tangled in each other for a moment before I reached a teasing hand down between us. Bucky quickly stopped me, sheepishly grinning down at me.
“I already…just then…” he blushed.
“Really?” I giggled.
“You have no idea how good you looked.” He whispered, pecking my lips.
I smiled warmly, stroking over his cheek. “Would you like to grab a coffee with me?”
I moaned a little and shuffled against the hardwood floor, trying to find a comfy position. I felt Bucky’s arms loosen around me as I moved about, finally huffing and trying to sleep with the discomfort.
Bucky sighed behind me and got up. I frowned as the blankets were pulled from me and opened my eyes, staring up at Bucky who was staring down at me.
“Come on,” he whispered. “Get up doll.”
I took his hand and was hauled up. “Where are we going?” I yawned.
“Bed.” He shortly said, picking up the pillows.
“But you don’t like sleeping in bed.” I tiredly muttered as I rubbed my eyes.
“Come here.” He took my hand in his and led me through the apartment to the disused bedroom.
The bed was always made, in case he ever changed his mind like tonight. When we first moved in I’d splashed out on an expressive mattress, the softest sheets I could find and the plumpest pillows on the market. Bucky hated the first night and so we set up camp on the living room floor.
I watched as he organised the pillows and pulled back the covers, tugging me over.
“But you hate it.” I repeated.
“But I love you.” Was all he replied as he led me down.
My muscles and back sighed in peace as I finally was able to sleep in the comfiest bed known to man. I snuggled into the soft confines and felt Bucky slip in behind me. His body slotted against mine, an arm looping around my waist and head pressing to the crook of my neck.
“Just an hour and we can go back to the living room.” I sighed, already half asleep.
“So then he started talking about this Big Three thing-“
“Aliens, Androids or Wizards, I’m familiar.” I noted as I drained the pasta into the sink.
Bucks face fell. “Don’t say you agree with him.”
I peered over my shoulder with a small smile. “He has a point…”
“Which is?” Bucky pressed, standing from his seat at the small dinner table and casually walking towards me.
I shrugged and stirred the sauce. “He’s right when he says that you’ve fought one of the three so far.” I held the wooden spoon to Bucky’s lips, his brows furrowing as he tasted my cooking.
“Perfect,” he noted. “I’ve never fought a wizard.”
“Dr-“
“Say Dr. Strange and I’ll walk out of this apartment right now.” I snorted at his remark, plating up his food.
“Just saying.” I pecked his lips before sitting at the table, Bucky joining across from me.
I eyed the book that rest next to him, The Hobbit, only the first few pages read. “Why are you reading that again?” I asked.
“Came up in conversation today,” he mumbled through a mouth of food.
“We could watch the movies if you wanted.” His eyes widened.
“They made them into films?” I never got tired of seeing the glimmer of excitement in his eyes as he discovered something new.
