#the winter solider
A few more of my beautiful Avengers.
russo brothers during tws & cw: steve has come to terms with missing out on life with peggy, doesn’t want the same to happen with bucky and will do anything in his power to save protect him.
the russo brothers with the end of endgame after steve gets bucky back:
Sobbing over this picture rn
Y’all ever just see a character and go
Avengers Characters as Parks and Rec reaction memes
Thor
Bucky
Tony
Peter Parker
Shuri
Natasha
And Clint
Sam: Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t have feelings for Stark.
Bucky: [looking lovingly at Tony across the room] I don’t have feelings for Stark.
Sam:Barnes, you are nowhere near my eyes.
Series - Chapter Three
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary:You’re a HYDRA assassin that’s worked closely with the Winter Soldier, to each of your dismay you’re reunited with Bucky after the blip.
A/N:SMUT! This was supposed to be plot but it’s genuinely just smut and fluff oops. Enjoy it while it lasts because its about to get so fucking sad lol. Anyways thanks everyone for being so supportive towards the series!
Word Count: 1,500
Snowman Masterlist||Full Masterlist
New York
2023
“You speak about (Y/N) in a very loving way. Did you ever have a physical or romantic relationship with her?” Bucky’s therapist questioned.
He paused. That part of his relationship felt private to him. It felt like only he and (Y/N) should know. It was never about anyone else, no one else had ever known what they had. He didn’t feel at liberty to share.
“It’s not something I want to talk about.” He avoided eye contact as he replied.
“Why is that?”
“After SHIELD and HYRDA’s secrets were leaked to the world, it felt like everyone could get their hands on whatever information they wanted about me, (Y/N)’s information too. The stuff we shared with each other is the only private life I have left. I don’t feel like telling anyone about it.” Bucky explained. Dr Raynor nodded comfortingly. As much as she wanted too, she didn’t push it.
Moscow
2013
Your tits were shoved up against the cold concrete wall of the shower. Bucky’s cut abs were pushed into your back, his hands firmly holding your hips in place as he buried his cock into you. The warm trickling of water down your nude frame only heightened your senses to what was happening in your core. Bucky’s grunts were muffled by your sharp moans.
“Holy fuck, baby!” You groaned, feeling yourself tighten around him. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” One of your hands held against the wet wall in front of you, and the other clenched Bucky’s real hand at your waist.
The dark pit in your stomach was winding into a tight knot, an influx of little stars pecked at the corners of your vision. Bucky was relentless, he had worlds of stamina and was stronger than he realised.
You squeezed your eyes shut as you let your orgasm pulse through you. Bucky felt your knees weakening, his hands held harder around your hips to keep you in place.
“Please don’t stop,” you whined,
You could practically feel the smirk on Bucky’s lips, “want me to speed up, darling?” he growled, thrusting himself harder inside you. You unravelled on him, your abdomen tensing while your eyes squeezed shut. Pure bliss pounded through your veins while you came all over Bucky’s thick member.
A string of curse words fell from your mouth, stifling Bucky’s deep grunts.
He slowed down as you mellowed from your high, gently pulling his cock out of your core. His hands on your waist turned your frame to face him.
“God, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He murmured, his lips falling down to connect with yours. The kiss was tantalizing and smooth. Bucky’s hands softly trailed down to your plump ass. He swiftly lifted you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist.
One of your hands moved to tangle your fingers into the hair at the back of his head, pulling it slightly to move his face away from yours. He smirked at you, taking in your gorgeous features. Your other hand slipped between your bodies to wrap around his length, it was slick with your wetness. You jerked it slowly, watching Bucky bite down on his lip.
You lined him up with your entrance and he pushed himself inside. You let slip a heavenly moan.
He began slowly thrusting again, his hands firmly gripping your as to hold your body steadily up against the shower wall. His member pushed deeply inside you with every movement Bucky made. You clawed against his shoulder blades, his body now pressed tightly up against yours.
You knew you were close again, the knot in your stomach never having the chance to unravel. Your walls clench around him, your legs shaky and tense.
“Fucking hell,” you groaned, arching your back against the concrete. Your head fell back with closed eyes, not being able to focus on anything other than the sheer ecstasy pulsing through your body with every thrust.
Bucky was close too, but you knew he wouldn’t finish until you did again. He took pride in knowing how intensely he could pleasure you.
Your moans echoed through the shower, still encapsulated by the rich feeling of hot water falling along your body. Without warning, you let go. Your hands grabbed at Bucky’s muscled back, your body shaking and tightening as your high hit you like a wave. You couldn’t even think, all you could feel was euphoria. Bucky didn’t hesitate, his pounding thrusts became sloppy and uneven, his fingers clenched hard against the delicate skin of your ass. With one last growl he filled you up, his toned figure tense against yours.
You both took a moment, heaving breaths in time with each other. Your hearts racing at the same pace. He would no doubt recover before you could.
Bucky moved first, slipping himself out of you and gently lowering your feet to the floor. His velvet lips left a trail of kisses across your sensitive collarbone.
“Come stay with me tonight.” You painted, your fingers tangled into his wet, dark hair.
“If we get caught-” Bucky began, speaking against the rich skin of your neck,
“How would we get caught? We’re two of the stealthiest assassins in the world.”
His head dragged up to meet yours, his gaze focused on your delicate, pink lips.
“Well, when you put it that way,” he smiled, leaning in for the hundredth kiss of the night.
~
The early amber sun seeped through your blinds like fresh honey through beeswax. It softly pulled you from your peaceful slumber. You couldn’t help but listen to the soft snores of the man next to you. Bucky took up most of the bed space with his huge frame. You cuddled up next to him, admiring how the light entangled in his brunette locks.
Bucky lay sleeping on his stomach, his real arm stretched out to rest over your nude body. He looked comfortable with the duvet pooled around his waist. You’d crept in on him in his room a few times before, he’d always be sleeping on the ground, with nothing but an old blanket. It didn’t seem like something he wanted to talk about, or something he even knew how to talk about. He’d always just say his ‘bed was too soft’. But now, in your bed, he was content.
You shuffled your body closer to his, watching him as he stirred slightly. He didn’t seem ready to get up. Rolling onto his side to face you, you were able to snuggle into his warm chest. His arm instinctively embraced you, his huge frame engulfing yours.
You’d never felt the need to feel safe, you always carried weapons, you were highly skilled, immensely trained. No one in their right mind would try anything on you. But Bucky, your snowman, he made you feel secure. He finally made you feel like you had something worth living for. It was such an obscure feeling to you, it almost felt daunting. Like you finally had something to lose. You wondered if this is what love felt like.
“Stop thinking.” He grumbled, his morning voice raspy.
“That’s difficult when I have such a big, smart brain.” You giggled, your hand moving to push a piece of his long hair from his face.
“Yea, I love that big, smart brain.” He replied, his large hand moving down your back to squeeze your ass.
You looked at his resting face, his eyes hadn’t opened yet. His soft features remained relaxed while his hand stroked along your back.
“Did you dream last night?” You pondered, quietly.
“No.” He replied, remaining in his position of rest. “Did you?”
“Mhm,” you started, “I dreamt about the ocean.”
“Was it a good dream?”
“Yea. I could smell the salty water, and feel the hot sand. It was loud, the crashing waves seemed violent, but it was peaceful. I’ve never been to the beach though,” you rolled over slightly to stare at the ceiling. “Darling,” you added, “have you ever thought about escaping?”
This pulled Bucky’s eyes open, “escape?”
“Escape from this life? Leave HYDRA, be normal people.” You explained, barely above a whisper. Letting your thoughts fall onto the sheets.
“Do you think you can be a normal person?” He inquired.
You paused. All you’d known your whole life was HYDRA. All you’d ever done was assassinate and infiltrate. You’d never had to a cook a meal, do taxes, mow a lawn. But the human part of you always wanted too.
“I guess not.”
Bucky looked over at you with soft eyes. “I don’t remember being a normal person either.” He added, as an attempt at comforting you.
“Were you ever a normal person?” you questioned,
“I think so. I think I lived in New York for a while. Sometimes I have patchy memories about what I think was my old life, and my old friends.” He cracked a faint smile.
“Are they good memories?”
“The best.”
Taglist: @is-it-really-a-secret@quxxnxfhxll@stranger-names@bb-tings @ohmygodsebastianstan@selfsun
Series - Chapter Two
Pairing:Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: You’re a HYDRA assassin that’s worked closely with the Winter Soldier, to each of your dismay you’re reunited with Bucky after the blip.
A/N: Please let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist, no spoilers in this chapter!
Word Count: 1,750
Snowman Masterlist||Full Masterlist
New York
2023
“Did you see her much after that mission?” Dr Raynor asked Bucky. She seemed interested in (Y/N).
“Yea. I saw her in passing a few times. She spent a lot of time at the base I was at. Sometimes I’d be out of cryo for weeks on a mission. That’s when I saw her the most.”
“What did you do together?”
“Played card games, trained together, built weapons, I taught her how to snipe. Normal shit, I guess.” It felt strange thinking about it all. It felt like a different lifetime to him.
“I guess that is somewhat normal for trained assassins. Did you tell her anything about yourself? After she explained her story, did you reciprocate that?” His therapist questioned.
“I couldn’t. I didn’t really remember that much about myself. Everything I knew was wiped, I was pretty much a blank slate. I couldn’t even tell her my name because I didn’t know it.” Bucky shrugged.
“What did she call you then?”
“She gave me a nickname. Snegovik. It means snowman in Russian. She thought it was hilarious, because I was the Winter Soldier. If anyone else called me snowman I would’ve snapped their necks, but when she did it-“ Bucky paused to think, “It felt nice.”
Moscow
2012
“What’re you doing, snegovik? (snowman)” You placed yourself down at the table opposite Bucky. He looked up at you, his pale blue eyes gazing into yours. You noticed Bucky started looking differently at you as you spent more time together. Instead of a look of hostility or annoyance as he gave to everyone else, it was a gentle look. A look you would give birds dancing in a fountain on a warm day, or a look you would give the sun as it rose so smoothly over the snowy mountains.
“Reading.” He shut the file laid out in front of him. The maroon file had a black HYDRA symbol resting in the middle. It was his next target.
“I haven’t had a case in weeks. I’m bored out of my mind. Do you wanna go to the firing range with me?” You queried. The HYDRA base you were currently stuck at had one of the largest firing ranges down in the basement, with a very fun collection of weaponry.
“I know what we can do. Let’s go snezhinka. (snowflake)” Bucky pushed up against the table to stand, he grabbed his file and walked off. You quickly followed behind.
The two of you ended up in a large room full of dark grey lockers. It was an empty, dusty smelling room. Not many agents or assassins resided at this base so it was mostly desolate.
Bucky pulled a few lockers open, his metal fingers clanking against the steel lockers. He tossed a large coat towards you. It was black with a soft fur lining the hood.
“Put that on.” He demanded.
“Are we going outside?” You asked, tossing the coat over your shoulders and zipping up the front.
“Mhm.” Bucky pulled his sniper rifle out of a locker. It was already put together. He grabbed a small, red box of ammunition and an extra scope. He walked off again, he tended to do that.
You waltzed off behind him.
“Don’t you need a coat too?”
“No. I’m the snowman, remember?” He smirked back at you. Bucky didn’t smile very often, you always tried to savour the moments that he did.
The two of you exited the compound through a side door, it simply led out into the snowy forest. He began walking out into the snow, along a path he’d obviously walked plenty of times before. The large pines that inhabited the forest were covered in a layer of thick snow. The reminisce of grass and flowers barely poked through the large sheet of white on the ground.
Bucky’s path guided to a small, wooden sniper nest. It was an old sniper range that used to be for protecting the base. As more enhanced people began showing up, HYDRA moved to using giant concrete bunkers instead.
Bucky threw down a thin, dark green blanket and lay down on his stomach. He quickly set up his sniper rifle and adjusted the scope.
“Lie down.” He asserted. You complied, lying down on your stomach next to him. There was nearly no room between your bodies, the sniper nest seemed like it was only made for one. His body radiated heat like a fire. So much for snowman, you thought. Bucky lined up the spare scope and passed it over to you.
“Look through that.”
You stared through the small scope, it showed a few trees over two kilometres away. “What am I looking for?” You asked, quietly.
Bucky didn’t reply. The sound of the silenced sniper announced, and a single pinecone burst into pieces. You turned from the scope to look at the man next to you. “That was 2,000 meters away, holy shit.”
“2,248 meters.” He added, lifting the sniper to sit in front of you. “Your turn.”
“I told you, snegovik, I can’t snipe. I’ve never been good at it.”
“I’ll teach you.” He took the spare scope from your hand. “Get nice and close to the gun, your shoulder should be up against this part,” he motioned to the back end of the rifle, you shuffled so you were in place, “look through the scope,” you did as he instructed, “and here,” his hand grabbed your wrist, the cool metal of his fingers burnt against your hand. You didn’t know much about how his metal arm worked, but he seemed to have amazing control over it. He was so gentle as directed your hand to a dial near the scope, “use this to adjust your sight. Take it to 500 metres out, we’ll start off easy.”
You adjusted the scope. 500m. You agilely moved to line up with a large pine cone resting on one of the giant pine trees.
“Deep breath.” Bucky said lightly, “fire.”
Your finger snapped down the trigger and the bullet flew. Bucky watched through his own scope as the bullet hit its target.
“I did it!” You announced,
“You’re not as bad as you thought.” He smiled, “go further out and try again.”
You and Bucky sat in that tiny sniper nest shooting pinecones for hours.
~
Bucky left early that morning for his mission, leaving you at the base by yourself for a few days. You spent most of those days shooting and you spent your nights combat training. Unsurprisingly, you’d developed some severe insomnia. In your line of work it wasn’t uncommon. Kraken didn’t want you to take any sort of sleeping medication that the HYDRA doctors suggested because he was afraid it would affect your work ethic. He wanted you staying sharp. Arguably, running off no sleep didn’t have you very sharp.
It was another regular night. 2, maybe 3 in the morning, you were in the gym, giving everything you had to a black punching bag. Your bandaged knuckles were feeling the force with every blow. You tiring body felt shaken under the strenuous training you were putting yourself through.
“It’s a bit late for this, snezhikna.” A deep voice announced from the entrance of the gym. You turned to see a muscular figure. He was covered in black clothing, only revealing his face and his large metallic arm. Not many people were able to sneak up on you, except Bucky, he always could.
“How was the mission?” You returned to your punching bag.
“The target was eliminated.” You heard the faint sound of his boots approaching. By the time you spun around he was directly behind you. “Let’s spar. It doesn’t look like that bag’s putting up much of a fight.”
He moved towards the thin gym mats. You watched as he adjusted his arm, each metal part whirring into place. You unravelled your knuckles, standing on the mat opposite him. The two of you stared in silence for a moment, the tension between you hung like a heavy, black smoke. A vicious grin flicked along your mouth and you began.
Punches were met with dodges, kicks were defended with blocks. You ducked, grabbed his metal wrist and pinned it behind him. He adjusted and threw your body over the top of him. You landed hard on the ground. He smiled. You whipped around and caused his legs to fall out from beneath him. He fell, and you quickly moved to throw your legs around his neck. He lay on the ground in a choke hold between your legs. You didn’t apply too much pressure, just enough to stop him from moving.
“Nice job.” He grunted. Just as you thought he would tap out, he grabbed either side of your waist and twisted you so he was able to free himself from your legs. You scrambled to get off your back but Bucky was too quick. His muscular legs had your ankles pinned down and his metal arm had both of your wrists over your head. It clicked into place and held you pinned to the ground.
You’d never felt weak in your life, you were skilled, strong, smart. But Bucky sitting above you like this made you feel so small.
“How can I tap out if you’re holding my arms?” You joked.
Without a moment’s warning Bucky lowered his head and pressed his lips against yours. Everything about Bucky was harsh, rough, and cold. But his kiss, it was gentle and sweet.
You kissed back without hesitation, his metal arm relaxed and your hands tangled into his messy hair. He unpinned your legs and you instinctively wrapped your thighs around his waist. His soft, real hand caressed your waist, holding you as if you were fragile china.
He didn’t touch you with his metal hand. He used it to hold up his weight. He never barely ever touched you with that hand. He never knew how strong it really was and he didn’t want to accidentally hurt you. Ever since you’d told him his hand was cold, he’d been much more cautious with it. You were the warmth in his life. He didn’t want to mess that up.
“Snegovik, we can’t do this here.” You smiled up at him, your hands held gently against his cheeks, his stubble tickling your palms.
“Let’s go then, my snezhinka.” He carefully picked you up and led you out of the gym.
Taglist: @selfsun@quxxnxfhxll@stranger-names@bb-tings@is-it-really-a-secret
Summary: You’re a HYDRA assassin that’s worked closely with the Winter Soldier throughout the years. Things took a turn after SHIELD dissolved and to each of your dismay you’re reunited with Bucky after the blip.
A/N: This series will follow a lot that happens in TFATWS so prepare for spoilers! The first few chapters only follow what happens in the past, when there is obvious spoils I’ll put that in the chapter summary! Enjoy!
Series - Chapter One
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: You’re a HYDRA assassin that’s worked closely with the Winter Soldier, to each of your dismay you’re reunited with Bucky after the blip.
A/N: I haven’t posted in like 300 years, but I hope you guys enjoy this new series! This follows parts of TFATWS so expect spoilers! (Also I’m sure all the Russian is absolutely wrong, if you’d like to correct it please send me a message!)
Word Count: 1,815 (future chapters will be wayyy longer)
Snowman Masterlist||Full Masterlist
New York
2023
“So tell me about this-” the therapist looked down at her notes briefly, “(Y/N).” She finished.
Bucky paused momentarily, “No.”
“James, for these therapy sessions to be effective, you need to open up to me. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.” His therapist responded, laying her pen carefully on her small notebook.
Bucky thought for a moment, taking in the ambience of the room. What would he even say about (Y/N)? He hadn’t seen her in years. Bucky was kicking himself for accidentally bringing her up in his session last week. “I- uh-” he stammered, shifting his weight on the couch, “I met her in 2011. At least I think it was 2011. Date’s get kinda fuzzy sometimes, with all the cryo.” Bucky’s hand pressed against his head, feeling dazed as he tried to think back. “It was at the big HYDRA base outside of Moscow. We had to go on a mission together-” he was cut off,
“Did she work for HYDRA?” Dr Raynor interjected.
“Yea. She was an assassin too. She went by the alias the Viper.” Bucky pretended not to notice his therapist tense up. Anyone who knew anything about HYDRA knew who the Viper was. She was one of the most prolific assassins after the Winter Soldier.
“Tell me more about when you met her.”
“We were instructed to take out a terrorist organisation forming against SHIELD. Which was ironic because we were working for a terrorist organisation. But at this point SHIELD was being run by HYDRA and they couldn’t risk any slip ups, so they put 6 assassins on the job. HYDRA usually didn’t have their assassins working together, we were all too volatile. But we had to take out over 70 people in one night. It was (Y/N), a few assassins from the Red Room, and a few agents that HYDRA had trained personally, and me.” Bucky stopped.
“Where was (Y/N) trained?”
“At a secondary facility run by HYDRA. She was trained from a really young age. It’s all she’s known.” Bucky seemed somber. But his therapist continued,
“What happened on the mission?”
“Nothing. It went exactly to plan. The targets were taken out and we all left without a trace. But (Y/N), she- she kept trying to talk to me, or get to know me. I was the Winter Soldier. No one in their right mind ever tried to ‘get to know me’.”
“Why do you think (Y/N) did that?”
“She told me she was bored.” He replied bluntly.
Moscow
2011
The poorly lit conference room was filled with a myriad of assassins and officials. The only illumination came from old LED lights hanging from the concrete ceiling. The mossy green paint on the walls looked as if it hadn’t been patched up in years. The only new-ish part of the room was the large, oak conference table, surrounded by black, leather seating. It was difficult not to notice the red HYDRA symbol holding a spot on almost every piece of clothing in the area.
“TITAN terroristicheskaya organizatsiya, formiruyushchayasya protiv nas. (TITAN is a terrorist organisation forming against us.)” Kuznetsov spoke, “Izbrannyye budut otpravleny segodnya vecherom v Ukrainu dlya vypolneniya postavlennoy zadachi. Uberi ikh. (The chosen ones will be sent to Ukraine tonight to complete their given tasks. Take them out.)”
That was all it took. You stared at the file in front of you. You had read through it multiple times, going over every single name, every single skill set your targets had. You were more than certain you could complete this job on your own. But you had no choice on the matter.
Your eyes darted around, taking in the faces of the assassins that were to accompany you on your mission. Two youthful females, dressed in black leather sat next to each other. The older, grimacing woman behind them was Madame B., the head supervisor of the Red Room. You moved your gaze to the two agents in dark green uniforms and red, soviet berets. Neither looked particularly menacing.
You finally landed on the last assassin. His dark hair fell like curtains around his face. Gloomy blue eyes searched their way through the room. His sharp jaw seemed tense through his stubbled cheeks. He was large, extremely built. Covering his frame was an amplitude of black clothing and gear.
“Play nice.” Your mentor spoke softly over your shoulder, breaking you from your train of thought.
“I always do.”
~
Your padded snow boots ripped through the thick snow covering the ground. The six of you had hiked your way to the set point on your GPS systems, the clouds of snowfall covering your vision held the illusion that there were absolutely no structures nearby. A large helicopter had dropped the group a few miles out from the hideout to ensure nothing was compromised. The trek was in utter silence, fighting against the harsh temperature in mid February.
The waypoint became closer on your map, a tiny building slowly appeared in your vision against the foggy downfall. It was a small, wooden cabin. Everyone hustled their way through the unlocked door. It was barren, it held no furniture, no blankets, no means of any life. There appeared to be a few doors that led to small, empty rooms. The entrance only held a small fireplace, filled with old cut down logs that had been eaten by bugs.
The group quickly dispersed, you headed to one of the rooms alone, throwing down your belongings onto the floor. The bag you carried was mainly filled with weapons and ammunition, along with a very warm sleeping bag. You knew too well you wouldn’t be sleeping tonight, but you would need the extra heat for now.
There was no chatter anywhere in the house. Your mission would begin in 6 hours. Everyone was likely putting together their artillery. You decided to cozy up in your navy sleeping bag for a moment of comfort.
Someone had lit the fire in the lounge. A warm, orange light crept through the cracks in your door. The ambiance was strangely calming for a shitty cabin in the middle of nowhere.
Snow continued to fall against the tiny glass pane of your room. You weren’t a fan of assassinating in the snow. It was low vision, harsher climates, and it lessened the ability to move. Snakes weren’t creatures of the cold. Conveniently you’d been grouped with someone who called himself ‘The Winter Soldier’. I’m sure he loves the cold, you thought.
You’d heard a lot about him. Everyone had. He was the perfect assassin. He never failed a mission, his body didn’t reject cryo, every form of enhancement HYDRA had used on him had been a success. He was what every assassin had aspired to be.
Without thought, you grabbed the glass bottle laying next to you and walked off to the room the Winter Soldier had claimed for the night.
“Privet (Hello)”. You announced, pushing his door open with a creak. His head didn’t turn towards you. He sat on the floor, the sound coming from him indicated he was sharpening knives.
“Khochesh’ vypit’? (Want a drink?)” You asked, motioning the bottle towards him.
He stayed silent for a moment. Finally he turned, looking up at you from his position on the floor. “What is it?” His dark tone asked back. The amber light from the fire crashed against his features. His strong jaw was covered with a dark stubble, his brunette hair tucked behind his ears. His most obvious feature was the hauntingly blue eyes that sat in sunken sockets, he looked drained.
“It’s vodka.” You stated, honestly. You were surprised to hear he wasn’t Russian, he sounded… American?
“You’re drinking before a mission?” He queried.
You shrugged. “Alcohol doesn’t freeze.” You sat down next to him. “Plus it takes the edge off.” A faint clinking noise announced as you placed the bottle on the floor between you two. He stared at you for a moment, before quietly going back to his knives.
“Wanna play 20 questions?” You interrupted the silence.
“No.”
“What about truth or dare?”
“I’m not 14.” the soldier replied, his eyes not leaving his handy work.
“How old are you?” You shot back,
“Why are you trying to get to know me?” He dodged your question.
“I’m bored.” You shrugged, taking a deep swig of the vodka. “And by my calculations,” you peered down at your watch, “we still have 3 hours and 27 minutes until the mission starts.”
He gave a shallow sigh, “93.”
“What?”
“I’m 93. How old are you.”
“93?! You were born in 1917?”
“Mhm. How old are you.”
“25. You look great for 93.” You chuckled.
“You look old for 25.” He jabbed back. His knife sharpener still grinding across a 6 inch blade.
“You flatter me.” You replied sarcastically. “So what’s your story? How’d you make it to 93?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“Why would I ask if I didn’t want to know?”
Bucky looked over at you. “I’m telling you, you don’t want to know.”
“C’mon old man, I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” You smirked. He once again, went back to his knives. It almost seemed as if he was trying to threaten you, pulling out larger knife after larger knife.
You huffed, opening your mouth to speak, “I was born in Hungary to a drug abusing mother, and an absent father. I was kidnapped and sold to HYDRA when I was 6. I was placed under the care of the Kraken. Not sure if you’ve met him, he’s this large guy-”
“I’ve met him.” Bucky stated, interrupting your spiel.
“Right, well, he trained me for years. Eventually HYDRA got involved again and I was tested on, experimented on, messed with, ya’ know, all that fun stuff.” You explained.
“Are you enhanced?” Bucky asked, almost as if he was actually interested.
“Yea. I have this whole snake venom trick. It’s great for up close combat. The experiments really should’ve killed me though. But maybe that’s what makes us so good-” Bucky looked over at the woman next to him, her bright eyes stared back at him as she spoke “ya’ know, the best assassins are the ones living off borrowed time. Because we’ve met death before, so we’re not afraid to do it again.”
Bucky quickly grabbed the Barrett M82 rifle next to him, his metal arm making faint whirring noises. “I’m going to scope out the base.” He stated bluntly. And with that, his large black boots walked him out the bedroom, and out the door.
You let out a faint sigh, creeping back to your room to sort out your weapons. You were sure it was something you said that scared him off. I guess at 93 you have to be living off too much borrowed time, you speculated. You absentmindedly set up your pistols, your mind not being able to wander from the Winter Soldier. Maybe annoying the Red Room girls would get your mind off it.
my favorite trio
Masterlist|Send Me Your Requests!!!
Warning(s): swearing,very sad bucky, mentions of PTSD, mentions of violence & psychological abuse
You were used to something waking you up between 3 and 4 A.M. every night. No matter how badly you tried to will yourself back to sleep, your slumber never came. So usually you made your way out into the kitchen to make some tea and maybe finish yesterday’s crossword.
This time was absolutely no different, except the kitchen had already been occupied. You stopped short, standing in the doorway silently for a moment to take in the scene playing out before you. Bucky sat in one of the barstools at the island counter, eyes and nose bright red. You watched a few tears stream down his cheeks. Now, you’d never been close to Bucky. He never made an attempt to get to know you, and you respected that. You gave him his space to get adjusted to life at the Compound, completely unbothered by his social circle only really including Sam, Steve, and occasionally Natasha. Cap had voiced to you and the rest of the team that Bucky still felt as though he was a danger to everyone around him; that he wouldn’t involve himself with the rest of the team until he knew that he wouldn’t be a hazard, a liability.
But the way Bucky watched his metal arm move with a mix of dejection and pure hate pushed you forward into the kitchen.
“Hey, Bucky,” you greeted, trying not to make it obvious that you’d seen him cry. You headed straight for the cabinet. Bucky didn’t respond, only sniffled and wiped his nose with his flesh hand. “Want some tea?” you asked, nonchalantly glancing over your shoulder at him as you reached up to grab your favorite mug.
He nodded slowly and you reached up to grab his mug. You began to make sleepytime tea for the two of you, not pressing for conversation any further. You put the kettle on the stove, doing your best not to look back.
“What’re you doin’ up?” Bucky inquired so quietly that you almost didn’t catch it. You glanced over at him only to see him watching you pensively, brows knit upward.
“Can’t sleep,” you answered. “Did you have another dream?” Bucky nodded timidly.
“It feels like they’re just getting worse the longer that I’m myself,” he admitted. You didn’t say anything, only leaned against the counter beside the stove. Bucky continued on, “And this…” —Bucky gestured to his metal arm— ”this constant reminder of what I’ve done… it doesn’t help me much. And I never wanted to be a burden, so of course, I can’t talk about this with Steve… or… Nat or—” A look of panic crossed the Sergeant’s face; he looked as though he had become vexed with himself for opening up at all, especially to someone like you.
“You know, it’s okay to share things like this with me,” you began. “I don’t mind hearing it. You can’t expect to carry this weight alone forever.” Bucky smiled a little at this, but he didn’t look you in the eye. You wondered if it was some form of shame he carried, shame that he’d felt he was being so weak.
“I thought that I found a way out, you know? I really believed that if I ran, if I got away, I’d be alright… But there are reminders everywhere I go, everywhere I fuckinglook. The nightmares are still tearing me apart,” The soldier rested his hands on the countertop as the kettle began to whistle. You poured boiling water into the mugs and carried them to the island. You stayed on the opposite side of the counter though.
“Thanks, Y/N.”
“You know, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say my name before,” you replied, giving him a warm smile. He sniffled again, taking a sip of tea.
“Yeah?” he chuckled, and that made you happy. But you could tell that Bucky was still unbelievably shaken by his most recent night terror. He, his eyes glued to the countertop, let out a heavy, shaky breath before speaking up again,
“Can I tell you something?”
“Anything,” you answered, your smile falling a little.
“I’m so scared that I’m going to end up hurting, possibly killing, someone I really care about. It haunts me, Y/N.”
“Is that what you dream about?”
“Sometimes,” Bucky replied. You were a little surprised by his openness, his sudden willingness to talk to you, let alone tell you about his traumas. He continued, “and sometimes they’re not as bad. Sometimes I have dreams of when I wasn’t… when I wasn’t the monster HYDRA made me.” He rested his forehead in his right hand.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m just sorry that I’m unloading all of this on you; you shouldn’t have to even think about this.”
“Hey, I asked, didn’t I?” you asked comfortingly. In a moment of thoughtlessness, you rested a hand on his forearm. He jolted slightly. You yanked your hand away nervously.
“God, I’m sorry, Bucky,” It came out as a whisper. He looked you in the eyes finally, a small smile on his lips.
“No, I’m sorry. It just startled me. I didn’t expect it.” You raised your eyebrows at him.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Y/N. I’m sure.”
Before either of you could say another word, Steve came into your peripherals.
“Whoa, hey. Didn’t expect to see you both up,” the Captain commented, earning a small laugh from Bucky. His soft laugh caught you slightly off guard.
“Why’re you up, Cap?” you asked.
“I had to pee and heard you kids talking,”
“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you,” you replied.
“I’m older than you,” Bucky commented.
“Inconsequential information, Bucky,” Steve looked between the two of you, grinning. “I am glad you’re making friends.”
“I like her,” the soldier confirmed. Bucky gave you a smile before getting out of the chair. “I’m gonna try to get a little sleep, though. Thanks again, Y/N. ‘Night, guys.”
“Anytime, Bucky,” you said softly. Bucky raised his cup of tea to you before taking a long drink. He picked up his mug and headed right past Steve, back toward the bedrooms. Steve stood there for a moment, waiting until he heard the sound of Bucky’s bedroom door closing.
“Thank you, Y/N,” he said. You cocked an eyebrow at him.
“Why’re you thanking me?”
“Just… for being a friend, I guess. It means a lot that you’d talk to Buck. He’s not so open with others anymore,” Steve explained. “I’m glad he’s starting to realize that no one sees him as the monster he thinks he is.”
“Anytime. I’m always up at this time anyway. He’s a good man,” you answered.
“Besides, I knew this would happen sometime,” Steve declared, beginning to head down the hall toward the fitness center.
“Why’s that?” you called after him.
“He thinks you’re cute!” the Captain laughed.
You spat out your tea, cheeks flushing red. “WHAT?”
Steve:Bucky?
Bucky, internally:Quick, act dumb!
Bucky: Who the hell is Bucky?
Bucky, internally: Not that dumb!!!
Bucky: It’s too late now… you.
Sam: … “you?”
Bucky: I totally don’t remember your name.
Sam: We’ve known each other for nearly 7 years!
Bucky: And what an impression you’ve made.
Sam: I don’t hate Bucky, just that sound he makes.
Sam: And his voice.
Sam: And the things he says.
Steve, flirting: You have beautiful eyes.
Bucky: Thanks, I need them to see.
Sam: Merry Christmas Buck
Bucky: I thought you hated Christmas?
Sam: Nah
Sam: I just hate you
