i wish all self harm and suicide intent survivors a really pleasent night and a very much “take your time in recover i promise things will get better and there are always better option I truly believe in you and how much you matter to different people, keep doing”

TW: pedophiles, dick pics, harassing minors/people, cursing, SH mention

So, I keep getting disgusting DMs on insta. It makes me sick to my fucking stomach, if you get these you understand.

It triggers me to the point of SH and manic episodes or even worse depression episodes .

These people- if they can even be called that, don’t deserve a platform and I will do everything in my power to remove them.

I am 17, a demi boy, and yet these nasty pieces of human shit think it’s fucking ok. I hope their dicks get caught in a blender at high fuxking speed and feel even a smidgen of how they make people feel.

If you do this,

You’re fucking disgusting and get the fuck off my page.

Posting a psa because I just received an anon ask linking an ao3 post that has a picture of self harm. If you get an ask with an ao3 link and the name Somi Malek on the ask don’t click it, it leads to a picture of self harm and possibly other gross shit. The ao3 post was also tagged with mcyt tags (specifically dnf iirc) so be careful when scrolling through ao3 too :(

tap3tum-lucidum:

oh, not this shit again

honestly this kind of killed me though. each one of these could have been a post by itself:

• grinch crossover
• weaken the mind
• you idiot i told you not to
• listening to hamilton calmed me down
• track your ip
• the scars
• pull an uno reverse
• double uno reverse
• make it clear you are a child

I might just be nit-picking, but when Mo Xuanyu has the cuts on his arm, I was imagining them being like… on the inner wrist. Both the anime and live action adaptations depict it being on the back/side of his arm. I’m wondering if this is some sort of censorship? They’re still depicting self-harm and suicide either way. But when the cuts are on the other side of his arm, they look less like the cause of his death than if they were right at the base of his wrist. So I’m curious if they’re censoring the suicide somewhat? Or if I just imagined the scars to be slightly different. It doesn’t make a big difference to the plot, either way.

indogaysian:

The unbearable whiteness of the ‘disaffected young woman’ genre

“When I use the term “whiteness” I do not solely mean that white women are overrepresented as protagonists. I also include whiteness as a hegemonic force used to subjugate and oppress people of color. Although these white protagonists often act violently upon themselves, through various forms of self-harm, eating disorders or engaging in dangerous sexual acts, to regain control of their lives, they also externalize this violence onto those they can get away harming. Their primary targets are often people of color, mainly Black people.”

“These fictional depictions of the white disaffected woman have real-world parallels. In an episode of the Red Scare Podcast titled “Shia Labuse,” hosts Dasha Nekrasova and Anna Khachiyan mock FKA twigs, who opened up about the abuse she endured from Shia LaBeouf. Dasha, who diagnosed herself with “girl, interrupted syndrome” and is heavily associated with the waif aesthetic, calls twigs “attention-seeking” and “aggressive” in reference to the New York Times article where she exposed Shia. One can only assume she felt comfortable making these cruel remarks because Black women are not afforded the same vulnerability that white women are able to capitalize on.”

“Black women are not afforded the luxury of dissociation due to the continuous cycle of racial violence we are forced to confront.”

abirdepisode:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

you hear about recovery not being linear (”there are ups and downs”), but actually it’s more like a game of wack-a-mole. this is not a bad thing

to extend the metaphor: when you’re at the beginning of your recover (less kindly known as rock bottom), you have a garden full of moles. you have a mole popping up every 5 seconds, and maybe it’s the same hyperactive mole, maybe it’s a bunch of moles taking turns, but whether they all look the same, you have a garden full of the fuzzy bastards. 

so you pick up a mallet and start hitting. maybe you’re bad at using the mallet, maybe you get better over time, but after a while you get tired, bc you’ve been at it for ages and a mole is still popping up every 5, 10 seconds. what you don’t realize is, you’ve actually nerfed a lot of the moles. it’s just now there’s more space for the other ones to come to the surface and start making noise. but if you keep. swinging. the mallet. eventually they’re gonna slow down. 

My recovery began when I started treating my depression & moved away from an abusive environment. It took a long time for me to realize I was recovering, bc as soon as one thing improved, another popped up. As my depression improved, I became more alert and active–and discovered that my brain fog & self-isolation had inadvertently been covering up my sensory issues. I had enough energy to start school again–and bc I wasn’t sleeping & lounging all day, I was suddenly aware of my concentration issues. One mole bites the dust, another pops up. 

but the secret is: there are a finite number of moles in the universe. 

4 years I’ve been wacking away at these fuckers with a mallet. I’ve taken turns wacking depression and its cronies suicidal ideation & self-harm, followed in succession by previous dormant crap related to anxiety, adhd, spd, c-ptsd, and other acronyms. And behold: progress. (Atm i’ve finally convinced the furry piece of shit called Executive Dysfunction to come out of the ground, which is exciting bc wrangling this bastard means finally getting to work on longterm personal projects again.)  Moles still pop up from time to time, but my life has a lot more space for me in it

the moral of this story is: if u hit a mole over the head for long and hard enough eventually it learns to mind its own beeswax. KEEP WACKING

KEEP WHACKING

Very encouraging and a good way to envision it and understand why things are particularly messy in the beginnings of recovery.

the fact that scars still hurt and itch years later means what I’ve done will never go unpunished

queenieofaces:

This post has been cross-posted to the Resources for Ace Survivors wordpress.

This post is for the June 2016 Carnival of Aces, which is on the topic of “Resiliency.”

Content warnings: discussion of trauma and violence (sexual and not), mentions of substance abuse and suicidality and self-harm, all in the context of talking about a work of fiction

Between 2008 and 2011 I wrote the longest piece of writing (fiction or non-fiction) I’ve ever produced–a 133,472 word, 251 page (single-spaced) vampire novel.  I poured most of my creative energy into it for 3 years and then just hid it away in my hard drive.  I returned to it recently, when I mentioned in a conversation to a friend and suddenly became intensely curious whether it held up or not.  For the terminally curious, I liveblogged my reread, but this is not really a post about the vampire novel I wrote (thank goodness–no one wants to read about that).  Instead, it’s a post about resilience, how the vampire novel I wrote helped me process a lot of the things going on in my life, and the extent to which I can gauge how much I have grown and changed by looking back on it.

Keep reading

maythephorcebewithyou:

sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes:

mayumiisshort:

panicwiththefandomsblr:

my-sins-might-be-your-tragedies:

my-sins-might-be-your-tragedies:

no-help-blog:

labradont:

alternativestoselfharm:

crystalskysadvice:

Alternatives for when you’re feeling angry or restless:

• Scribble on photos of people in magazines
• Viciously stab an orange
• Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall
• Have a pillow fight with the wall
• Scream very loudly
• Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines
• Go to the gym, dance, exercise
• Listen to music and sing along loudly
• Draw a picture of what is making you angry
• Beat up a stuffed bear
• Pop bubble wrap
• Pop balloons
• Splatter paint
• Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black
• Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches
• Throw darts at a dartboard
• Go for a run
• Write your feelings on paper then rip it up
• Use stress relievers
• Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it
• Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc
• Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)
• Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock
• Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself
• Flatten aluminium cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go
• On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture
• Break sticks
• Cut up fruits
• Make yourself as comfortable as possible
• Stomp around in heavy shoes
• Play handball or tennis
• Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.
• Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)
• The Calm Jar (Fill a mason jar or similar with colored water and glitter. When feeling upset or angry you can shake it to disturb the glitter and focus on that until the glitter settles.)
• Blow up a balloon and pop it

Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:

• Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or in your mouth
• Run your hands under freezing cold water
• Snap a rubber band or hair band against your wrist
• Clap your hands until it stings
• Wax your legs
• Drink freezing cold water
• Splash your face with cold water
• Put PVA/Elmer’s glue on your hands then peel it off
• Massage where you want to hurt yourself
• Take a hot shower/bath
• Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet
• Write or paint on yourself
• Arm wrestle with a member of your family
• Take a cold bath
• Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root
• Rub liniment under your nose
• Put tiger balm on the places you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores.)

Alternatives that will distract you or take up time:

• Say “I’ll self harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades
• Color your hair
• Count up to ten getting louder until you are screaming
• Sing on the karaoke machine
• Complete something you’ve been putting off
• Take up a new hobby
• Make a cup of tea
• Tell and laugh at jokes
• Play solitaire
• Count up to 500 or 1000
• Surf the net
• Make as many words out of your full name as possible
• Count ceiling tiles or lights
• Search ridiculous things on the web
• Colour coordinate your wardrobe
• Play with toys, such as a slinky
• Go to the park and play on the swings
• Call up an old friend
• Go “people watching”
• Carry safe, rather than sharp, things in your pockets
• Do school work
• Play a musical instrument
• Watch TV or a movie
• Paint your nails
• Alphabetize your CDs or books
• Cook
• Make origami to occupy your hands
• Doodle on sheets of paper
• Dress up or try on old clothes
• Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop
• Write out lyrics to your favorite song
• Play a sport
• Read a book/magazine
• Do a crossword
• Draw a comic strip
• Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self harm free using pretty colored paper
• Knit, sew, or make a necklace
• Make ‘scoobies’ - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy
• Buy a plant and take care of it
• Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon
• Browse the forums
• Go shopping
• Memorize a poem with meaning
• Learn to swear in another language
• Look up words in a dictionary
• Play hide-and-seek with your siblings
• Go outside and watch the clouds roll by
• Plan a party
• Find out if any concerts will be in your area
• Make your own dance routine
• Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favorite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself
• Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day
• Finish homework before it’s due
• Take a break from mental processing
• Notice black and white thinking
• Get out on your own, get away from the stress
• Go on YouTube
• Make a scrapbook
• Colour in a picture or colouring book.
• Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it.
• Pay attention to your breathing (breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth)
• Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)
• Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)
• Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it
• Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can.
• Take a small step towards a goal you have.
• Re-organize your room
• Name all of your soft toys
• Play the A-Z game (Pick a category ie. Animals, and think of an animal for every letter of the alphabet
• Have a lush warm bubble bath with candles!
• Do some knitting
• Do some house hold chores

Alternatives that are completely bizarre. At the least, you’ll have a laugh:

• Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal
• Run around outside screaming
• Laugh for no reason whatsoever
• Make funny faces in a mirror
• Without turning orange, self tan
• Pluck your eyebrows
• Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food
• Go to the zoo and name all of the animals
• Color on the walls
• Blow bubbles
• Pull weeds in the garden

Alternatives for when you’re feeling guilty, sad, or lonely:

• Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self harming
• Draw or paint
• Look at the sky
• Instead of punishing yourself by self harming, punish yourself by not self harming
• Call a friend and ask for company
• Buy a cuddly toy
• Give someone a hug with a smile
• Put a face mask on
• Watch a favorite TV show or movie
• Eat something ridiculously sweet
• Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head
• Treat yourself to some chocolate
• Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do
• Look at things that are special to you
• Compliment someone else
• Make sculptures
• Watch fish
• Youtube funny videos!
• Let yourself cry
• Play with a pet
• Have or give a massage
• Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind
• If you’re religious, read the bible or pray
• Light a candle and watch the flame (but please be careful)
• Go chat in the chat room
• Allow yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion
• Accept a gift from a friend
• Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people
• Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles
• Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book
• Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (Sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages)
• Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read
• Write words in the sand for them to be washed away

Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared:

• “See, hear and feel”-5 things, then 4, then 3 and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and will calm you down
• Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to
• Meditate or do yoga
• Name all of your soft toys
• Hug a pillow or soft toy
• Hyper focus on something
• Do a “reality check list” – write down all the things you can list about where you are now (e.g. It is the 9th November 2004, I’m a room and everything is going to be alright)
• With permission, give someone a hug
• Drink herbal tea
• Crunch ice
• Hug a tree
• Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so
• Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive
• Go outside and attempt to catch butterflies or lizards
• Put your feet firmly on the floor
• Accept where you are in the process. Beating yourself up, only makes it worse
• Touch something familiar/safeLeave the room
• Lay on your back in bed comfortably (eyes closed), and breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Make sure to fill your belly up with air, not your chest. If your shoulders are going up, keep working on it. When you’re comfortable breathing, put your hand on your belly and rub up and down in time with your breathing. If your mind wanders to other things, move it back to focusing ONLY on the synchronized movement of your hand and breathing.
• Give yourself permission to…. (Keep it safe)
• Create a safe place for yourself and take yourself there
• Lay on the grass and watch the clouds. You can try to make pictures with them too.
• Light a candle and watch the flame

Alternatives that will hopefully make you think twice about harming yourself:

• Think about how you don’t want scars
• Treat yourself nicely
• Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self harm
• Create a safe place to go
• Acknowledge that self harm is harmful behavior: say “I want to hurt myself” rather than “I want to cut”
• Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it
• Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what you do
• Think about how you may feel guilty after self harming
• Remind yourself that the urge to self harm is impulsive: you will only feel like cutting for short bursts of time
• Avoid temptation
• Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets: wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut
• Be with other people
• Make your own list of things to do instead of self harm
• Make a list of your positive character traits
• Be nice to your family, who in return, will hopefully be nice to you
• Put a band-aid on the area where you’d like to self harm
• Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW
• Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe
• Notice “choices” versus “dilemmas”
• Lose the “should-could-have to” words. Try… “What if”
• Kiss the places you want toSHor kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you care about myself and that you don’t want this
• Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns
• The Butterfly project- draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off. If that does happen, you can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love.
• Write the name of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you] and write their name where you want to self harm. When you go to self harm remember how much they care and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself.
• think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself.
• Make a bracelet out duct tape, and put a line on it every day (Or any period of time) you go without self harm. When it’s full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress.

Alternatives that give the illusion of seeing something similar to blood:

• Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint, or go to a site such as this, where you ‘cut’ the screen (be aware that some users may find this triggering, so view with caution)
• Cover yourself with plasters where you want to cut
• Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo
• Make “wounds” with makeup, like lipstick
• Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.
• Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you’ve made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells.
• Paint yourself with red tempera paint.
• ‘Cut’ your skin with nail polish (it feels cold, but it’s hard to get off)
• Use red food colouring on your skin

Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings:

• Phone a friend and talk to them
• Make a collage of how you feel
• Negotiate with yourself
• Identify what is hurting so bad that you need to express it in this way
• Write your feelings in a diary
• Free write (Write down whatever you’re thinking at that moment, even if it doesn’t make sense)
• Make lists of everything such as blessings in your life
• Make a notebook of song lyrics that you relate to
• Call ahotline
• Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but you don’t have to send it if you decide not to)
• Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/ things that you accomplished/ are grateful for/ made you smile. Make sure the journal is strictly for positive things. Then when you feel down you can go back and look at it.

Alternatives to make you feel a sense of reality:

• try slapping countertops
• getting fresh air
• going to a bookstore or a music store and just getting lost in it
• take selfies
• play guitar, feel the strings under your fingers
• I think I am, therefore I am
• Read a book, get lost in the unreality of that, and then remember your reality
• Talking to someone, asking for reassurance
• a run or walk (especially through a ‘pretty place’)
• use one of the ‘sensation’ alternatives

tuckerbonxr

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS!!!!

Thank you for making this… I need this and I know a lot of others who do too.

@aliaitee doing as you asked. Please stay safe sweetie. Hope you’re having a good day.

This is so amazing. As someone who has never self harmed but has thought about it countless times, I use so many of these in my daily life. Stay safe everyone

This helps so much

Thank you

Reblogging this for others (maybe for future me too, if my life gets shitty).

This helped today thanks❤

antis-solve-nothing:

saltiestgempearl:

antis-solve-nothing:

“Where’s your carrd?” 

“I can’t find your DNI.” 

“I know you listed your race, age, gender, and sexuality but how come you didn’t also list your triggers, your diagnoses, and your traumas?”

“If you’re shipping to cope, why don’t you tell everyone what you’re coping WITH?” 

Ah, well, Entitled Randoms, that’s very simple. See, I’m an adult. A grown-up who votes and pays taxes and is getting a master’s degree. And I inhabit reality as well as social media. So, I don’t feel the need to violate my own privacy for the amusement and satisfaction of strangers. 

Wait…okay so I agree with this post except for the DNI. Doesn’t that stand for Do Not Interact? My understanding is that DNIs are a list of groups or types of people you do not want interacting with you, and that’s not really personal information so much as it is…idk, a formal statement of hard boundaries.

I vibe hard with this post, I’m just confused as to why the DNI was included.

I included it for multiple reasons: 

One, many people are now becoming pushy with blogs who do not have DNIs. As in, getting messages that say “Why don’t you have TERFs DNI anywhere on your blog? Are you transphobic? You’re transphobic if you don’t put it up”. 

Secondly, most DNIs I see are highly performative and ineffective. “Fuck off nasties, you know who you are” and “DNI if you meet standard DNI criteria” or “Racists, homophobes, weirdos, etc, DNI”. See how vague those are? See how unhelpful that is? 

Thirdly, DNIs do not work unless the other person respects them AND knows that the DNI applies to them. What the fuck does hypothetical fancop above mean by “nasties”? What the fuck is “standard” in these things? And any DNI that includes “etc” is fucked…because that could be anyone. And what fucking Nazi or violent TERF is going to look at some loud-mouthed 16 year old enby’s DNI and go “Darn guess I can’t cyberbully this easy target, they asked me to DNI”. 

Fourthly, people have been using the accident violation of DNIs as grounds for harassment. Anti-shippers will send death threats to proshippers for reblogging their posts and saying things like “Why didn’t you check through my blog and read my 4.5 page DNI list and understand that Nasty Freak includes RoadRat shippers like you??? Anyway here’s a gore spam go cut yourself”. 

Fifthly, there’s just a certain point when you have relinquish the illusion of control. Tumblr is a social media site where the aim is (usually) to spread posts beyond a small group of followers. When you post something publicly, you need to be prepared that sometimes, people you don’t like will see it. Worrying excessively will only worsen your anxiety, and the block button exists for a reason.  

Essentially, I do not object to them as inherent concept, but they have been levied as a tool of control and social abuse on both this site and Twitter, and much like the carrd, those who decline to have one are now being treated with hostility. 

I do not have a DNI because I don’t want one. That shouldn’t be problem, and yet, repeatedly, it is.