You don’t remember how you ended up here but you weren’t going to complain. The breeze caressed your bare legs, eyes falling closed as you listened to the rustling of the leaves and the distant chirps of the birds that had occupied the small park in search for food.
The tears had stopped awhile ago, however the sharp sting of them was still ever so present. You pulled your knees to your chest, hugging them close to you in search of some form of comfort as your wrapped your arms around your shoulders.
The events from today hadn’t stopped plaguing your mind. You were hurt, lost and confused to say the least. Hyunjin’s actions in the pool had contrasted with the concerned look your were met with before running away.
Maybe you had looked into it a little too much.
Your insecurities always did seem to get the better of you. But right now, all you could picture was the way his smile had dropped when he looked at you. You shook your head, willing the tears away as you didn’t want to cry anymore, head still thumping from your previous outburst.
“Y/n!”
The sudden shout of your name had you startling out of your thoughts, eyes widening as you turned to the source.
Hyunjin practically collapsed next to you on the bench, heaving as he hunched over to catch his breath. You stared wide eyed at his form, confused as to why he was even looking for you in the first place.
“Do—Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been,” he forced out in-between breaths.
You just looked at him. The words had caught in your throat, unknowing of what to say to him. You watched as he closed his eyes, taking a deep final breath before turning to you.
“You were looking for me?”
He looked taken back as he scooted his body towards you, “Of course I was looking for you! You’ve had me worried sick. Why wouldn’t I look for you?”
“You seemed like you didn’t want me around before—” you trailed off, cursing as you felt the tears cloud your vision once more.
“Why would you think that? Of course I wanted you around. I always want you to be with me.”
“Hyun you couldn’t even l-look at me.”
His eyes widened as your voice broke, watching silently as the tears began to fall from your eyes.
“I-I know I embarrassed you and I’m sorry—.”
“Embarrassed? What—Y/n you’ve never embarrassed me.”
“Please don’t lie to me.”
Hyunjin looked just as heartbroken as he met your gaze, his own eyes filling with tears as he released a shaky breath.
“I know I-I’m not attractive but Hyunjin the minute I got in the pool—I don’t know I just felt like your were disgusted seeing me like that.”
His eyes widened as he watched you wipe your tears before trying to move yourself away from him. However, he caught your arm before you could.
“God no that’s not it at all! I’m sorry I just— this is going to be embarrassing for me to admit,” he blinked the tears out of his eyes before turning his gaze back towards you.
“I’m sorry that I made you feel less about yourself. That was never my intention and I want you to know that I’ve never been, nor will I ever be embarrassed of you.”
You noticed that he hesitated, eyes flickering around the two of you before turning his attention back on you.
“This is going to sound like such a perve thing to say but Y/n you have no idea the power you hold over me with your clothes on and seeing you in that swimsuit it took everything in me not to take you right then and there in front of everyone.”
Your eyes widened at the sudden confession.
“W-What,” you sputtered, earning a small groan from Hyunjin.
“I know and I’m sorry but you have no idea how good you looked and it took everything in me not to touch you. That’s why I couldn’t look at you because I knew if I did I would embarrass myself,” he whined as his face fell into his hands.
You let out a soft laugh at his muffled ‘but admitting that is embarrassing too idiot,’ before reaching up to run your fingers gently through his hair.
Hyunjin dropped his hands from his face at your touch, gently grasping your wrist as he pulled you closer to him, smiling at you before leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours.
“I’m sorry I was such an ass. I never wanted to hurt you or make you feel insecure. God you have no idea what you do to me angel. I love every part of you.”
You hummed, eyes fluttering open as you pulled back to fix him with a playful glare.
“But you haven’t seen all of me yet though,” you teased.
Hyunjin smirked, biting his lip as he pulled you closer to him by your waist, “We can fix that.”
IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE: DO NOT READ-NSFW UNDER THE CUT
With finals over and the letter stating you were finally getting the degree, you’ve worked so hard for, you needed to relax. Luckily, your boyfriend knew just how to do that.
With your roommate out for the night, ChangBin took that chance to surprise you at home with a bottle of wine and flowers. The two of you made quick work of the wine, but it wasn’t needed for what he had in mind.
“So beautiful,” he panted into your ear as you bounced on his lap. His hands held your hips tightly as you rode him. “Such a good girl. Does that feel good?” He sucked your neck as you leaned your head back.
“Binnie,” you moaned, “So good. So big.” Rocking your hips into his, you moaned louder. “So close. I’m so close.” Feeling the knot tighten in your stomach you kissed him deeply, sucking his bottom lip between your teeth.
ChangBin started to thrust up to meet your hips. Gripping your hips tighter, he guided you down to meet his thrusts. He looked up at you like you were his reason for living. The intensity of his gaze gave you chills. Suddenly, you felt a sharp and rough tug on your scalp. With a yelp, you were pulled off of ChangBin’s lap.
“What the fuck,” he yelled, meeting the eyes of 4 men. Men that weren’t his. He lunged for the man holding you by the hair. “Let her go,” he demanded with more contempt than you’ve ever heard, “Now.”
The man holding you up by the hair was tall and had an anti-brow piercing. Another man in the room stepped forward and threw something at ChangBin.
“Get dressed,” he ordered ChangBin. The man turned to look at you, his eyes roaming your body. “Let her cover up,” he said to his men. Another wrapped the sheet around your body to provide a little dignity.
ChangBin studied your face. There was no fear, only what seemed to be annoyance. Slowly putting his boxers on, he never took his eyes off of you. “Don’t hurt her,” he said to the one who looked like the leader. “I’ll cooperate. Just let her go. You don’t need her.” Pointing to you ChangBin tried to bargain with the man.
“She isn’t going anywhere,” he spat back. “And you will speak when spoken too.” ChangBin opened his mouth to object and was quickly hit in the face, causing blood to drip from his mouth.
“Stop it,” you yelled at the men. They all looked at you and then back to the man in charge.
“Take him out of here,” he commanded. After another quick punch, for good measure, ChangBin was pulled from the room by two men.
“Have you lost your fucking mind, Jay B,” you finally spat to the man holding your hair? He let go and allowed you to fall to the floor. You scrambled to stand and stand toe to toe to the leader. “What the fuck, Jackson! What are you doing here?” The man tilted his head and looked over your naked body again.
“What are you doing Y/N?” he asked with pleasure. “So that’s your new boyfriend? Seems nice.” You pushed him away aggressively and sneered at him. Suddenly, it dawned on you.
“Where is he,” you growled? Jackson nodded to the front of your apartment. “Get out while I get dressed you asshole.” Jay B blocked the door and Jackson turned his back to you. “Sorry, princess.”
In the living room, ChangBin has tossed on the floor in front of a man he had never seen. He was tall, had a long thin neck, and had a sharp jawline.
“Don’t move,” one of the two men said to him, “Stay on the floor. Hands where we can see them.” He assumed a docile position on his knees, hands on his thighs. He looked to the man sitting before him, clearly the one in charge, not the one in the room. Oh no, in the room with you still. He could hear shouting, but couldn’t make it out.
“Let her go, please,” ChangBin asked the man before him. “I don’t know who you are, but she doesn’t know anything.” The man laughed.
“She’s in no danger from us,” he said lowly. “But she may know more than she’s letting on.” The sound of your heels on the floor drew everyone’s attention. Your cropped mustard pants and blazer paired well with your cream silk camisole. It was an odd choice of outfit considering the situation ChangBin thought.
“There she is,” the tall man stood and opened his arms, “Y/N, baby. I’ve missed you.” ChangBin’s heart sank at the words. He was too friendly and familiar for this to be about him. A crack sounded through the room as you slapped the man.
“Seriously, Mark,” you seethed, “What are you doing here?”
“Wait,” ChangBin spoke up,“ You know them?” You hung your head, not able to meet his eyes. Mark chuckled and lowered himself to ChangBin.
“Oh, she never told you?” he taunted, “So much for not knowing anything.” You were about to lunge for Mark again when your door opened. An older man in a three-piece suit and a woman in an elegant dress walked in and it felt like all the air was sucked out of the room.
“That isn’t any way to treat your guests is it, Monkey,” the man said. Your cheeks flushed red as you squeezed your eyes shut to stop the tears.
“No, sorry daddy,” you whispered. ChangBin’s eyes examined your face. The embarrassment painting your face tugged at his heart. He tried the best he could to piece this puzzle together.
“Jackson, Jay B, JinYoung, and YoungJae leave us. Sweetheart, Y/N, Mark, have a seat,” he motioned to the sofa. “You stay there,” he said dryly to ChangBin.
“Daddy, I,” you cleared your throat, “I didn’t know to expect you.” Lifting your eyes to your father, you saw him staring at your boyfriend that was left on his knees.
“Oh? If you had known, then what? You would have had the virtue to not get caught in bed with him?” he asked with scorn. Your mother leaned toward your father and whispered something. “Know your place woman,” he snapped back.
“Are you ok?” you asked ChangBin softly. He looked at you with questions filling his eyes and nodded. You mouthed a quick sorry to him. Mark laughed next to you and you had to fight the need to wrap your hands around that long neck.
“What were you thinking?” your mother asked. “I told you to stop seeing him.” Her voice was soft and caring, but the words hurt. ChangBin’s eyes snapped to her and then to you.
“The problem is that she’s always had her way,” Mark stated matter of factly. Your father glared at him now, causing him to shrink away.
“This is what I was telling you,” your father lectured you, “This could have gotten you hurt, or killed.” He clenched his fists at his side. You laughed dryly. “I don’t see what is so funny. What do you have to say, boy?” he asked ChangBin.
“Daddy, stop,” you interrupted. “He has nothing to do with this.”
“He has everything to do with this, Y/N,” your father corrected you.
“Honey, hear her out first,” your mother said. “You can at least let the boy have some dignity.” She motioned to the compliant man still in his underwear.
“Please daddy,” you begged. “He won’t be any trouble. Let him dress and sit with us.” Mark rolled his eyes at you and scoffed.
“He’s an animal, leave him like one,” he said. His statement earned another slap across the face.
“How dare you call him an animal? You and the goon squad show up and barge into my home. Watch your mouth, or I will cut your tongue out,” you threatened him. ChangBin grinned a little when he heard how feisty and protective you were.
“Fine. He can dress. But no weapons,” your father agreed. “Mark, you go with him. Don’t mess around.” Mark stood and dragged ChangBin towards your room again.
“Hurry up,” he told ChangBin, “The old man doesn’t like to wait.”
They returned shortly, ChangBin fully dressed in his suit. He adjusted his tie as he stood in front of your father.
“Hello, sir. I am Seo ChangBin. I’m Y/N’s boyfriend,” he said politely, then bowed deeply. He met your dad’s gaze and accepted the outstretched hand.
“I’m sorry you seem to be at a loss, son. My name is Clyde Dillinger, Y/N’s father,” your father introduced himself.
“Dillinger,” ChangBin repeated, “As in-”
“Yes that one,” Mark snapped.
“Your last name is Y/L/N,” ChangBin looked at you. “You said your dad was in finance.”
“I have my mother’s maiden name,” you said softly, “So no one knows to look for me. And technically, he is in finance.”
“You never told him?” questioned your dad, narrowing his eyes at you. Again you dropped your head.
“No sir,” you whispered. “He didn’t know.” Your mother reached for your hand, but you pulled it away. “I didn’t want this,” you gestured around the room, “to happen.”
“Sir, I want you to know that I’ve done everything I can to make sure she was safe,” ChangBin smiled at you, “I wouldn’t let anyone hurt her.”
“Then how did this happen? We literally caught you with your pants down,” Mark laughed.
“Excuse me,” Jackson said, walking into the room. “Sir? May I speak?” Your father held his hand up to Mark to silence him, allowing Jackson to speak. “We had BamBam watch them for weeks. He is very careful. He has one specific man he leaves with her at all times he isn’t around.” Your father eyed ChangBin closely. “If we didn’t know she had this apartment, we wouldn’t have found them.”
“Thank you, Jackson,” said your father. “Is this true Mark?” The younger man set his jaw and nodded his head, glaring at his friend. “Anything else?”
“Yes, sir,” Jackson said looking at ChangBin. “I believe the only reason he was cooperating is for her. He begged several times for her to be let go. If she was in true danger, I feel this would have ended differently.”
“Mark? Anything to add?” questioned your dad. Being met with silence and this new information, he dismissed Mark and Jackson. “Seems that I owe you an apology, son,” he said to ChangBin. “It’s important to know when you’ve been wrong, and I may have jumped to conclusions.”
“Thank you, sir,” ChangBin replied politely. “I understand how important she is to you. And I give you my word, she is important to me too.” Your father nodded and looked to your mother.
“Leave us you two,” he instructed, “ I need to speak with this young man.” Standing you guided your mother to the kitchen for a drink. A strong one if you had it. Over your shoulder, you caught the smile ChangBin gave you.
“He’s sweet,” your mother said once away from the men. “How did you meet him?” She sat at the table and crossed her hands.
“We were out,” you explained, not wanting to give too much detail. “A creep wouldn’t leave me alone, and Binnie… Uh, ChangBin stepped in. Saved the day.” Pouring two glasses of whisky, you slid one to your mother. “I wish you would have called,” you said quietly.
“You hung up on me last time we spoke, Y/N,” she scolded you. “What would I say?” You nodded and reached for her hand.
“I was just so mad that you wouldn’t give him a chance,” you confessed. “He may be what you hear about on the news, but he isn’t with me.” You sighed and bit your lip. “Momma, he really cares about me.”
“I know, baby,” she smiled, “I can see that.” She leaned in closer to you, “I don’t know any man willing to do that for just anyone. Has he said he lo-”
“No,” you said quickly. “But I think I do.” Tears sprung to your eyes.
Your father’s voice called you and your mother back. The two men stood, shaking hands.
“I’ll be on my way,” ChangBin said. “I’ll check in with you tonight. Ok, princess?” he said to you softly, kissing your cheek. “It was very nice meeting you,” he bowed to your mother. “Sir, I look forward to hearing from you.”
“Y/N, sit down. I have to admit I’m very disappointed that this happened. We always planned to-”
“Daddy, I’m sorry but I don’t want to leave,” you cut him off. “I like it here. I have friends. I have ChangBin,” you rambled on.
“She’s right,” your mom interjected. “She can make her own choices now. She’s old enough. He seems like a nice man.”
“I am not going to let my daughter be with a man like that,” he roared, pointing to the door.
“Like what? A man like what,” you challenged. “A man like you? You were ok with the idea of me marrying Mark. For christ’s sake, Mark Tuan!” you yelled. “What is so wrong with ChangBin that you won’t get over it?” Your mother placed a hand on your arm.
“Clyde, honey,” she said, “You know this is very familiar. My father hated you. And what did that accomplish?” Your dad folded his arms and glared at your mother. “Huh? Nothing. We still got married and we’re happy, despite him.” She walked to him and gently touched his arm. “Is that what you want for her?”
“Why not Mark?” your dad questioned you. “He comes from a good family and he likes you. He’ll take over from me one day.”
“Why not Mark?” you repeated. “Because it is Mark, daddy. He loves himself and anything he can get off with. He’s a petulant child when he doesn’t get his way. I don’t love him.” You didn’t know ChangBin entered the apartment again. In his rush, he forgot his wallet and cell phone.
“Don’t love him?” your dad laughed dryly. “You love this other man, Seo? What do you know about love?”
“What did you know when you married momma at 19? I may not know a lot, but I know how he makes me feel, and I like it,” you said firmly. “Daddy, I’ve never felt safer with anyone else. He knows everything that makes me, me. I know it’s too soon to think about forever, but I can’t see my life without him,” you said softly. “I love him, daddy. I’m not leaving.”
“Y/N,” you heard from behind you. You turned to see ChangBin, his eyes full of tears. “Do you? Really?” You smiled and nodded. Wrapping you in his arms he kissed your forehead. “I love you too,” he whispered.
“I’m sorry I never told you,” you said sheepishly. Tucking your head to his neck you placed small kisses under his ear. He hugged you tiger and giggled.
“It’s ok, princess. Just no more secrets ok? I can’t keep you safe if I don’t know everything,” ChangBin said softly.
“Leave them alone,” your mom instructed, stopping your dad from interrupting. “You weren’t going to win this battle anyway.” He smiled sadly and nodded. “He is a lot like you. That’s a good thing. She’ll be ok.”
“Well, she is your daughter,” your dad laughed. “I have no doubt she’ll be fine.”
“Of course I’ll make sure he’s taken care of mom,” Chan said into the phone. “I can’t believe you let him fly out here alone. You still don’t let me do it!” He teased his mother on the phone.
“He isn’t alone, Chris,” the woman scolded him. “Y/N is with him.”
“Y/N? Hannah’s Y/N,” he questioned? “I haven’t seen her in years. What is she doing coming here?” He smiled fondly when he thought about his little sister’s friend.
Talent is something the Bang children had an abundance of. Clearly, Chan was very talented, and his sister was no exception. When she began dancing, their parents made sure she was enrolled in classes at one of the best schools. That’s where Hannah met you. You were a few years her senior and head of the advanced classes. From day one, you took Hannah under your wing and treated her like the little sister you never had.
“You’re right,” she agreed, “She just finished sometime at university and wanted to travel before going back.” Chan could hear paper being shuffled on the other end of the line. “Ah, yes. Once she leaves you at the airport she is visiting Korea, Japan, and then I think China. Or was it China then Japan?”
Chan listened to the announcement on the speakers, checking to see if the flight his brother was on landed. He told his mother goodbye and made his way to the proper gate. He was dressed in grey sweatpants and a hoodie, hoping to not draw attention to himself. The last thing he wanted to do was cause a scene.
Watching people file out of the gate, he searched the faces for familiar ones. Or one. He wondered if he would recognize you, or if you would him. You were his little sister’s best friend, and it felt like you were part of his family with how often you stayed over. He hated that he didn’t see you when he visited home, but he knew he was mostly to blame.
You had stopped by the Bang house to say goodbye to Chan before he left again to continue training as an idol. You kissed him clumsily before he pulled away and told you that he didn’t feel that way about you. You were more like a little sister, and he couldn’t see you another way.
He spotted his brother and waved his hands over his head, trying to get his attention. Lucas looked his way and waved back. He turned and hooked his arm into the arm of a young woman and pulled her through the crowd. As they got closer, Chan smiled as he recognized you.
The years had been very good to you. You had developed into a confident and beautiful woman. He always regretted not reaching out to you through the years. Deep down he always wondered what would have happened if he stayed home instead of choosing the path he did. His heart skipped a beat when your eyes locked with his.
Chan pulled Lucas into a hug and patted his back, “I’ve missed you, brother.” Ruffling his hair, he pulled away and smiled at you. He held his arms out to you, offering a hug. Carefully, you eyed him.
“You look great,” Chan said to you, “I was surprised when my mum said you were coming with Lucas.”
“I wouldn’t let him travel alone,” you smiled politely, “Plus he makes a great travel buddy.” You stepped past Chan’s open arms and pointed to a sign. “Is it this was to luggage claim?”
“Nice try, man,” Lucas laughed and patted Chan’s chest. He turned to catch up with you, leaving Chan with a blank expression on his face. “You have to give him a break,” Lucas said to you as he reached your side. “That was years ago.”
“Oh my gosh,” you groaned, “Is this something the Bang family will ever forget? I don’t care anymore.” Chan had caught up with you by now, but he kept his distance. “I was a stupid kid, with a stupid crush on a stupid boy. Nothing else.” Chan scoffed behind you, causing you to turn on his quickly. “Something to say,” you snapped.
“Nah,” he held his hands up. You continued towards luggage claim when Chan spoke again. “I just think it’s funny,” he said, “For something so stupid, you seem to still be upset about it.” You rolled your eyes and sucked your teeth.
“What if I am,” you asked, eyeing his sideways? He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. “What if I am upset still? I thought I was in love with you. You could have been more gentle.” You huffed and faced his again. “I can’t ever forget about it. Hannah thinks it’s funny that I have a crush on her famous idol brother. Your parents always make mention of you to me, like we’re friends. Shit, this kid calls me his sister-in-law, as if you’ve ever spoken to me since you left,” you scowled, pointing to Lucas.
“Look, I’m sorry,” Chan apologized, touching your arm. “I was a stupid boy, youq said so yourself. And besides, I didn’t know how to handle it. I should have been nicer to you, but you were my sister’s friend, and I-.” He stopped and grinned at you. “Did you say you have a crush on me… Not had? Present tense?” Your mouth fell open and your cheeks burned red. “You did!” He said triumphantly.
“No, no I didn’t,” you tripped over your words. Lucas bumped his shoulder into you.
“You did,” he whispered, “I heard you.” You hated them at this point. Lucas for being right and Chan for being so good-looking. Chan stepped closer and smiled down at you.
“Come on,” he urged, “Let me take you out. Just once before you leave.” You chewed your lip and thought about the offer. “Let older me take older you out to make up for younger me being stupid and mean to younger you.”
“What about me,” Lucas piped in? Chan looked at him and made a serious face, mouthing a simple ‘no’. “Wow,” he said under his breath, “Older you is still a jerk.”
“You know, older me has higher standards. You can’t just smile at me with those dimples and expect me to give in Christopher Bang,” you informed Chan. He smiled wider.
“As you should,” he said, “You’re a beautiful girl. You deserve the best.”
“The best,” you repeated. “Hm, guess I should be on my way then. Can’t let the best see me with you. Might frighten them off.” You smiled over your shoulder and winked.
“No, no,” he called chasing after you, “I meant me. I’m the best. Where are you going? ”
“Wow! How can you be so bad at this,” Lucas called after Chan?
“Has anyone talked to Y/N today?” Han asked looking up from his phone. A chorus of ‘nos’ sounded from his friends. “Yesterday then?” Again, no one spoke to you. He scrolled through social media and was disturbed by your lack of updates. “When was the last time they called anyone?” he asked the room.
“I’ll ring them up,” Bang Chan said, “they’re probably holed up and making kissy faces with their boyfriend.” He typed in your phone number, not needing a saved contact. Crinkling his nose he left you a voice message. Felix tapped his friend’s leg and showed him an updated photo. Your boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend, posted a photo with his new partner. “Oh, shit,” he said to himself.
“Maybe that’s why they aren’t answering,” Felix thought. Chan agreed and called you a second and third time.
“What do you want Chan?” you rasped into the phone the fourth time he called. You sniffled and wiped tears from your face. Something was wrong, and he knew it. You never called him Chan.
“I just wanted to check on you,” he said softly. “We were worried about you. Haven’t heard from you in a few days.” All the boys huddled around Chan and his phone as he increased the call volume, making it easier for them to hear.
“I’m great Chris,” you lied. “Why wouldn’t I be ok,” you gasped, “Because I got dumped like yesterday’s trash? Because he moved on after 2 days?” Your chest contracted every passing second and it was harder to breathe. “I’m so tired,” you sobbed into the phone, unable to control it anymore, “I’m so tired of breaking down and having to pick myself back up. I’m tired of being the second choice. I’m so, so tired Chris.”
The sound of you crying on the other end of the line broke everyone’s heart. No one knew what to say. Chan looked around at the somber faces surrounding him. “Where is Han?” he asked. Everyone swapped glances and shook their head.
You flung your phone to the other end of the room and pulled your blanket over your head. Curling into yourself, you groaned and tried to ignore the knock on your door. Sadly, the longer you ignored it, the louder it got. Suddenly, it stopped, but you heard keys in your door and footsteps in your house. A few minutes later, there was a light knock on your door.
“Y/N,” you heard a voice call, “Are you sleeping?” Even though every fiber of your being wanted to tell him to leave, you pulled the blanket from your face.
“I’m awake Ji-Sung,” you said. He sighed in relief and opened your door gently. You turned on your bedside light and rubbed your eyes. “I only told you where that key was in case of emergencies.”
“It was an emergency,” he tried to lighten the mood, “I brought you ice cream. ” Taking one look at you, his heart broke. “Hey,” he said softly, sitting at the end of your bed. “Wanna talk?” Tears stung your eyes and he could see your lip tremble. He stretched his arms out and you launched yourself into them. Cradling your head against his shoulder, he rocked you side to side.
“What’s wrong with me?” you cried into his shirt. “What is so wrong with me that I can’t be loved?” He pulled away and cupped your face, searching for some sign that you were joking.
“What are you talking about?” he whispered. “Why do you think you’re not loved? Do you not see how the guys look at you? You are their literal sunshine. Our day doesn’t start until you arrive.” He swept the tears on your cheek away with his thumbs. “Do you not see how I look at you?” His voice was so soft and nervous. You brought your eyes up to meet his.
“How,” you asked, “Like a clown? I’m so pathetic.”
“Why can’t you see yourself the way I see you,” he said, smoothing your hair behind your ear. “So what, you hit a rough patch. You are smart and successful. Beautiful and funny. You’re not pathetic.”
“Sounds like you’ve given this a lot of thought,” you laughed dryly.
“Only since you walked into our practice room, with Chan. Your laugh was so infectious,” he admitted. After three years of loving you from a distance, he decided this was the time to shoot his shot. “I was so jealous. I wanted you to laugh with me like that. All I could think was 'Wow, how do I get someone like that’?”
“You don’t want someone like me,” you told him. He pulled your face closer to his and touched his forehead to yours.
“Oh,” he sighed, “But I do. I do. I want the person that makes everyone laugh. I want the person that looks effortlessly beautiful. I want the person that kicks my ass in video games. I want the person that holds me while watching horror movies. I want that person. I want you.”
“Sungie,” you muttered, “You don’t want me. I’m broken, no good.”
“Let me pick you up. Let me help you put yourself back together,” he pleaded. “Let me love you.”
“I don’t even love myself,” you admitted. “How can you?”
“Because I see how marvelous you are, even if you don’t,” he told you. “I’m not going to give up on this. Give me a chance, Y/N. I’m not going anywhere.” He brushed his lips against yours and to his delight you didn’t pull away.
“Han Ji-Sung,” you chuckled, “You are a fool. This is probably the worst idea you ever had.” He smirked and kissed you again.
➟warnings: Please don’t read if you’re not old enough! Language and sex
With the new song releasing and music video, to say your husband has been occupied at work would be an oversimplification. Lately, he was awake and out of the house before you woke and home after you went to sleep. You tried to be understanding; however, you began to worry that he wasn’t taking care of himself the way he should.
After stopping to grab lunch and his favorite smoothie, you headed to the studio. In typical Leader Bang Chan form, he didn’t check his phone so you opted to text ChangBin.
It was quickly confirmed that Chan was not taking his advice about self-care. ChangBin said he has been moody for the last week, if not longer. Not that you would know, you haven’t seen him in at least that long.
Opening the practice room door you saw they must have been practicing for the Thunderous video. You caught sight of Chan in the mirror. His chest was bandaged and jacket open, allowing a full view of his toned upper body. It was hard to tear your eyes away. You missed him.
When your presence was noticed he called for a break. Everyone was pleased and hurried from the room.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, irritation lacing his voice. You walked up and placed his lunch and smoothie next to him.
“Who are you talking to,” you asked, turning his face to meet his eyes. “Beause I know for a fact it isn’t me Christopher Bang.” You relaxed next to him and kicked off your heels, wiggling your toes. Unpacking his lunch you handed him a hamburger and fries. His eyes softened as your fingers brushed his, handing him the smoothie. “I bet you’re hungry. Here, eat.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, rubbing your leg. “It’s been a rough few weeks.” You giggled as he hurried and ate the food. “Thank you, this is good,” he said with a full mouth.
“When was the last time you actually slept,” you asked softly? It was easy to see the dark circles under his eyes. “I don’t see you at home, baby. You need to slow down a little and take care of yourself.” He agreed and sighed.
“We’ve been working a lot. I know,” he acknowledged. “I’m sorry, baby” He was finished with his lunch and he tapped his lap. “Come ‘ere. I’ve missed you.”
You smiled and took your place on his lap, legs straddling his waist. “I’ve missed this,” you said against his lips. You worked your fingers through his hair and smiled when he closed his eyes. “Can I ask you something,” you inquired? He hummed, letting you know he was listening. “How does anyone get any work done if you are thrusting those hips with your tiddies hanging out?” You ran your hands over his chest and stomach.
He tossed his head back and laughed. Clutching your waist he held you down and he rolled his hips into you. “Did you like what you saw,” he whispered in your ear. Taking the lead from him, you rocked your hips back against his.
“I don’t know, baby,” you purred, “I haven’t seen it in a while. I forgot what it was like.” Grabbing the back of your head he pulled you in for a rough kiss. You tugged his lip in your teeth, coaxing a sinful moan from his lips.
“I have half a mind to take you right here,” he growled, gripping your ass. “Do you want that?” You moaned and pressed against him harder, sucking on his neck.
“Come home with me, Chris,” you pleaded, “Please. You need to relax and I know how to help you.” He knew you meant business when you called him that. It was the name you used when he made love to you or when he was in serious trouble. He really hoped it wasn’t the latter of the two.
Suddenly, the door swung open leaving Jeonjin, Seungmin, and Hyunjin to hurry and cover each other’s eyes. Felix stood behind the trio, laughing.
“I told you I heard them making married sounds in here,” Minho announced. “You guys need to be quieter.” You hid your face in Chan’s chest, trying to not die from embarrassment.
“Good,” Han said, strolling into the room and taking the last of the smoothie that was long forgotten. “Maybe he’ll be in a better mood.” Han winked at you.
“He’s not wrong,” ChangBin said, “Go home. Go with her. Just get out of here.”
“Ok, come on,” Chan agreed, kissing you repeatedly, “Since I’m not wanted here. Let’s go home.”
You were barely through the bedroom door when he quickly removed your clothes. Knowing how hard he’s been working, you knew this was simply about stress relief. To say you cared would have been a huge lie. The only thing on your mind was being under your husband in the most carnal way.
He pushed you to the bed, and without warning, he was fully inside you. You gasped in surprise, causing him to search your face to make sure he didn’t hurt you. Pulling him down into a kiss, you begged him to move. His thrusts were long and forceful. Throwing your head back a string of explicit words, moans, and pleads fell from your lips.
Hearing him grunt and moan above you only pushed you closer to the edge. He could feel how close you were to climax. “Hold on, baby,” he grunted in your ear, “Hold on.” Unable to form a sentence, you only nodded. Hooking your leg with his arm, he was now deeper than before. “You feel so good around me,” he whimpered.
“Please,” you whined, “Please, don’t stop.” He grinned and nibbled at your nipples. Arching your back, you gave him better access to your breasts. “I can’t. Please,” you begged him, “I want you to cum in me.”
“Is that so, baby? You want me to cum in you,” he grunted and thrust harder? “You want my baby? Not until I hear you scream my name, baby girl,” he demanded. You bucked your hips into his. It was getting too hard to wait for him.
“Fuck, seriously,” you cried. Your eyes met his and he snapped his hips against yours. “Ah, Chris!” Sucking on your ear he moaned your name. “Chris, please! You feel so good inside me.” Abruptly he began rolling his hips instead of the rough thrusting.
“Cum for me, baby,” he moaned in your ear, “Be a good girl.” You clawed at his back as you clenched around him. His movements became sloppy as you felt him release inside of you. Collapsing on top of you, he kissed your forehead. “Are you ok,” he asked, searching your face? Smiling, you kissed his lips. “Good. Let me get you a towel.”
He quickly returned with a warm towel, and a bottle of water. After cleaning up, you crawled back onto the bed and into the arms of your husband. Sweeping your hair back, he kissed your head and sighed. “Thank you for taking care of me,” he said softly, “Even if I don’t know I need it.”
You smiled to yourself and drew light circles on his naked chest. The steady rise and fall of his chest was a tell-tell sign he was sleeping.
“I love you, Channie,” you said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“But Princess,” ChangBin cried, “I haven’t seen you at all this week. I miss you.” It was easy to hear him sulk on the phone.
“Binnie,” you said sternly, “I have to study. You know if you show up we’ll end up in bed… not studying.” A giggle erupted in your throat as you heard his tiny tantrum.
“Fine. But after this exam you’re all mine,” he haggled with you.
“Sounds great, honey,” you answer absent-mindedly. “I’ll call you tonight before bed, yeah?” Making kissy sounds you quickly disconnected the call.
ChangBin stared at his phone slightly annoyed that he was dismissed so quickly but immensely impressed at your dedication to finishing school. Despite the emptiness from missing you, he continued his day as normal. It wasn’t until Chan told him to call it a day, it was already late into the night he realized you hadn’t called.
“Felix, bring the car around,” ChangBin requested. Listening to the man on the other end he nodded his head. “Yeah. We’ll make one stop before her apartment.”
Knowing your roommate was out of town this weekend, ChangBin let himself into your apartment. All the lights were on and he could hear the television from your room. He bit his lip annoyed again that he hadn’t heard from you; however, Stepping into the kitchen his heart broke.
You were sleeping on the island. Your laptop is open and the pen is still in your hand. He knew the way you hunched over the surface that you couldn’t be comfortable. Placing a few items on the counter, he closed your laptop and carefully stacked your book and notes.
He stroked your cheek and called your name softly. Being a light sleeper, that would typically wake you up but you didn’t budge. He wondered how many nights you spent like this.
Not being a cook by any stretch of the imagination, ChangBin made you a sandwich. Not much, but stacked high with meat, cheese, and vegetables. Once satisfied, be put a little more effort into waking you up.
“Y/N,” he said louder, massaging your back, “Wake up, baby.” You shifted and slapped him away. “Come on, wake up.” He bent down and laid his head on your arms. Blinking slowly, you smiled when you saw his face.
“Hi,” you greeted him. “What are you doing here?” Kissing his lips you stretched and looked around the kitchen. “Wheres, my stuff?” He nodded to the counter and slid you the sandwich.
“You hungry?” he asked, already knowing the answer. “I didn’t want to wake you, but it looked like you needed an intervention.” Smiling at him lovingly you leaned on your elbows and puckered your lips for a kiss. “No. Eat.” You pucker turned to a pout as you held the sandwich.
“Did you make this yourself?” you asked between bites. He nodded and busied himself making a drink for the two of you. “You’re too good to me Mr. Seo.” His shoulders visibly shook as he laughed.
“You’re so dramatic. It’s just a sandwich,” he teased you. Taking the now empty plate he rolled up his sleeves and washed the few dishes he used. “Go change for bed.” His order was simple but left no room for debate.
Slipping into his favorite black silk nightie, you sat on the bed waiting for him. A small gasp left his lips when he saw you.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked loosening his tie. You tried to look flirtatious, but he wasn’t having that tonight. He removed his shirt and pants, folding them and placing them on your wardrobe. “You need to sleep. Your test is in a few days.”
“Then come put me to sleep,” you quipped. Taking you in his arms, he chuckled and laid you on the bed. Running your fingers through his hair, you sighed against his neck.
“Tonight we sleep. Tomorrow we play,” he shushed you. “I’ve got big plans for you once your finished with university.” You moaned against him.
“Oh? Like what?” you asked drowsily. His arms tightened around you and his fingers stroked your back. He knew exactly how to put you to sleep. The beat of his heart pacified you to sleep while he babbled on absent-mindedly.
“I was thinking about flying us to Fiji. The beaches there are stunning,” he said. “We can get some color on this soft skin. Just me and you.” You hummed again, half sleeping. “Or maybe Paris. I think you would enjoy the Eiffel Tower, the Lourve, and the Notre Dame Cathedral. They would be marvelous places to see together.” He kissed your temple and rested his head on yours. “We can walk along the Seine River and visit the Place de la Concorde.”
He beamed at your sleeping face, knowing he was talking to himself now.
“We can visit Rome if you want to instead. The Pantheon and Colosseum are stunning. Of course, we’ll tour the Sistine Chapel.” He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. “We’ll travel the world. Anywhere you want, I don’t care. I just need you by my side.”
genre: angst au: idol au warnings:none word count: 0.7k pairing: f!reader x seo changbin song:fools by troye sivan
Once upon a time, you could have had everything.
After you landed a well paying job, you had a castle, a one bedroom apartment in a new high-rise building with giant glass windows and an infinity pool on the roof. Once you earned a promotion, you bought a gleaming white carriage with 350 horsepower. When your grandmother passed, you inherited her gold crown with the sheer veil.
All that was missing from the story was a prince.
For years, you never thought you would meet him, but fate finally smiled upon you on your twenty-seventh birthday. The sun shone with a brilliance, and the clouds spread across the blue sky made it feel like the heavens had presented themselves to the mortals on such a blessed day. Distracted by the sight through the café, you bumped into a stranger, splashing your latte all over their shirt. You apologized profusely, but the man assured that he was unharmed. He pulled his baseball cap further down, almost if he was embarrassed by the incident. Then he scurried away.
You assumed you would never see him again after that. To your surprise, he was sitting at the café the following week. Tucked away in a back corner, hunched over a notebook, you would not have noticed him until he rose from his chair with a screeching scrap. An offer to buy him coffee as an apology turned into a chat and then a conversation that you did not want to end. He had a way with words and a sharpness to his tongue that you found strangely charming.
Names were exchanged, but you dared not ask for his phone number. It was too presumptuous, so you instead chose to visit the café every day in hopes that he would also come back. He did.
He worked in the music industry, he said, a producer and writer. When you asked for specifics, he danced around, so you did not pry. The liminal space you two occupied always seemed to be on the verge of collapsing when reality threatened to seep in. One did not wax poetry about doughnuts to strangers, but they did not reveal their deepest, darkest secrets to friends either. He was the only person you told about your loneliness, for the princess in her tower had no confidantes. He talked about the heavy burdens he carried, the immense pressure he placed on himself. Was it the shared pain that brought you closer? Your heart ached when you saw his artfully crafted smiles. They were masterpieces indeed, but the prince needed to be saved in this story.
So you broke the unspoken rule. It was by accident, but when the opportunity presented itself, you could not stop yourself.
Through a magazine cover, you discovered Changbin’s true career. You pored over the interview and the countless ones he had done before. Everything he had a hand in, you watched and listened with great curiosity. It was wrong, but he bared his soul to you; you had to help him. You should have kept your mouth shut, but your selfishness won out.
During your outburst, he shrunk himself into a little ball and tugged his cap down, trying to hide you from his view. When he finally looked up, there was betrayal written across. An apology wouldn’t suffice this time, nor would a barter of your own background. No matter what you did, you could feel him slipping away. You could not blame him, but you did not want to let him go either. You knew the rules, unspoken and spoken, so what compelled you to hold on? It only hurt you.
Finally, the rift grew too large to heal. While he returned to the stage, you sheltered yourself in your castle and watched from afar. You dreamed that he wrote about you, that your existence left something lasting. Yet nothing ever proved your claims, so you gathered the glass pieces of your heart and found a new prince. You wore your crown on your wedding and traveled to a new kingdom.
Now your past is just a fairy tale, a bedtime story you tell your children who do not believe it anyway. Perhaps that is the most difficult thing to come to terms with, that your relationship with Changbin was never possible in the first place.
genre:angst au: non-idol au, vaguely historical au, doctor au? warnings: descriptions of gore, lobotomy, back alley medical procedures, implications of mental illness word count: 0.7k pairing: gn!reader x lee felix song:maniac by stray kids
“Do you hear them?” you hiss. You grip the armrests of your chair and furtively look around the room for the ghosts. All you can make out are blurry shadows along the walls, but those appear to be from the furniture in the room rather than ghosts. You learned how to tell the difference after they tricked you the first few times. You have never been able to see them before, but maybe they will finally show themselves to Doctor Lee Felix. He is worthy, isn’t he? He’s a renowned doctor, and they promised to leave you alone if you brought someone worthy. “Can you see them?”
Doctor Lee leans forward, folds his hands together, and gives you a pleasant smile. “Who?”
The grandmother, with her gnarled fingers and heavy rings, strokes your hair, clawing your scalp and grabbing fistfuls. You scream and whirl around to hit her, but you only make contact with the air. You grab randomly, hoping that you can curl her pearl necklace around your palms and control her like a puppy on a leash.
You cannot, and she laughs. She orders you to kill him. Pluck his eyes out, and give them to me. She promises you honey-sweet tangerines and your favorite sausages.
“No!” you shout. You bury your heads between your knees as you try to stop her from touching your hair again. “Go away!”
“Are you alright?”
Before you can answer, a childhood lullaby fills your ears, even though your ears are muffled with cotton. They’re always loud enough that they can get past your defenses. The little girl sings, her notes crooked and ugly just like a crow’s screech, for you to reach inside Doctor Lee’s chest and hold his heart. Feel his heartbeat in your hands. Watch the blood pump and spill down. Frightfully, you glance up at the doctor who is still patiently waiting for his answer. He asks you again.
You can’t hurt him, so you furiously shake your head. “Make them go away! They won’t stop!” You jerk forward to avoid the grandmother’s grasp and land so close to Doctor Lee that you can see the freckles dotting his cheeks. They look like little stars. “I don’t want to kill you.”
His smile falters for a second, but his mouth curves up again. “Do people ever tell you that you have a few loose screws?”
Your mother, your father. The man who sweeps the grocery store floor and the teenaged boy who lives across the street. “Yes, all the time. Why?”
“Well,” he says as he picks up the drill beside him, “it’s not just a figure of speech. I can fix you, if you’d like.”
Fix you. Like you’re a torn doll who simply needs some stitches to go back to normal. For a few seconds, you can ignore the jeering from the ghosts. “Can you really?”
“Of course. I’ve done it many times before. It’s my specialty.”
You hold his hand in yours. His skin is warm and soft, unlike yours which have been roughened from years of battle with the ghosts. Knives don’t work on them, nor wooden clubs, but that never stops you from trying to get rid of them. “Please. I’ll do anything.”
“Wonderful.”
A week later, you find yourself lying on a medical bed, staring up at a bright light. The grandmother has returned, and she screams from wherever she is for you to lash out, to scratch crimson red lines down the faces of those hovering around you. A crowd of curious onlookers have gathered to watch Doctor Lee perform a miracle on you. She won’t stop screaming. She wants you to take their eyes so she can have them for herself.
“Please hurry,” you whisper to Doctor Lee. He is dressed in a white lab coat today, and the little girl sings of how handsome he will look when his ribs are cracked open to reveal a pulsing heart. “They’re back, and they want me to hurt you, but I don’t want to.”
He places a calming hand on your forehead. “Close your eyes.”
You do.
When you finally wake up, the ghosts are gone along with a piece of your skull and brain.
genre:angst au: break up au, non-idol au warnings:swearing word count: 0.4k pairing: gn!reader x han jisung
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[mumbling] I can’t believe I’m fucking doing this.
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[mumbling] Fuck you, Han Jisung. This is what you fucking deserve. Fucking piece of shit.
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[mumbling] Shit, where did I put it? Ah, here.
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Seriously? I have to fucking wait after I piad thirty bucks for this? [sigh]
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genre:fluff au: college au, frat? au warnings: alcohol, swearing word count: 0.8k pairing: f!reader x lee know other characters: nct jaehyun and jungwoo song:shoot! by itzy
When Minho lays eyes on you, he knows he has to have you.
The sweet smile you flash at everyone who says hello to you; the sudden boisterous laugh that echoes out of you when a frat boy shows up to the party in a giraffe onesie; the flickering gaze of interest when you spot him lounging in front of the tower of red Solo cups—he’s entranced in every way possible. You move like honey—slow, deliberate, and fluid—as you make your way to him. When you’re right in front of him, he can’t resist giving you a onceover, starting from the black velvet ribbon in your hair to the beat-up red Converse on your feet. The embroidered letters on the sleeve of your oversize windbreaker nearly escape him until you reach for the ginger ale. The spell you have put on him has been broken.
Nu Chi Tau, or NXT, is his fraternity’s unofficial rival due to some love triangle that happened years ago. Minho doesn’t give a shit about the history since a) it happened years ago, b) it was so incredibly petty that he almost gained respect for everyone that actually upheld the rivalry, and c) he’s not going to cut out Jungwoo out of life just because he’s in NXT.
However, the letters still make him pause when he sees them, especially since you’re bearing them. Are you dating an NXT? Or is that jacket from a family member?
“Nu Chi Tau?” he asks. You look at him questioningly, and Minho has to stop himself from staring at the little wrinkle between your brows.
“Let me guess,” you say, now giving him a onceover that simultaneously makes him feel self-conscious and confident, “you’re from Sigma Kappa Zeta.”
“Is that a problem?”
“Only if you make it one.” You hold out the bottle of ginger ale out to him like a peace offering. “You want any?”
His own cup is filled to the brim with cheap beer already, so he shakes his head and continues trying to uncover the mystery behind your windbreaker. “You’re not in Nu Chi Tau, are you?”
You smirk, lips dangerously curving into a teasing smile. “God, you’re cute. If you wanna hit on me, just do it. I promise, none of the boys are gonna take you out back and shoot you if you do.” At his disbelief, you add, “I’m the fraternity sweetheart. Do you guys not have one?”
ΣKZ, in fact, does have one, a scholarly girl who only works out so she can eat more of Felix’s pastries without any guilt. Yeji has sweetheart duties as well, like promoting their quarterly charity drives and organizing mixers, but Minho really only knows her as the older sister of the house, despite her being younger than him. Minho’s mentioned her in passing to Jungwoo so many times, so why didn’t Jungwoo say anything about you?
“What’s it gonna be then?” you tease as you shift your weight to one leg, popping out your hip. “Pour me some vodka, ask me for my number?”
“Or you can leave her alone,” comes another voice. Another frat boy, presumably an NXT member, with a backwards cap throws an arm protectively around you, to which you quickly shrug off. He throws his hands up in surrender but maintains a wary gaze on Minho. “You’re Jungwoo’s friend, right?”
Minho nods and wonders if Jaehyun is one of those who vehemently uphold tradition. If he knows he’s Jungwoo’s friend, he likely knows that Minho’s from ΣKZ.
“Jaehyun, chill,” you warn as you shove him away.
“Don’t break her heart!” he calls before heading off to where a group of people are playing beer pong.
“Ignore them,” you say as you give another reprimanding glare at Jaehyun and another one of his friends. “So what’s it gonna be?”
Everyone in the room is watching your every move and awaiting his.
Another slow smile creeps onto your face when you realize this. As you innocently stare back at him, Minho’s face feels oddly warm, and his heart flutters like a swarm of butterflies when he notices just how alluring your perfume is. Underneath the fluorescent lights, you shine so brightly that he wants to touch you to see if you’re even real. You bite your lip, he licks his.
“Tell me your name, and I’ll pour you some vodka,” he finally says.
You laugh and reach for the large gray bottle yourself. “No wonder why Jungwoo thought I would like you. God, you’re so cute, Minho, and you don’t even know it.”
The spell has been broken once more. “What?”
You shrug and sip on your mixed drink. “Jungwoo told me so much about you. Whose idea do you think it was for a Nu Chi and a Sigma Kappa party? I mean, the sororities are here too, but still.”
Jungwoo is unbelievable. You are unbelievable. Minho is dizzy at the implications and at you.
As such, Minho does the most reasonable thing anyone else would do in his situation: he asks you to hand over the vodka and if you would be down to get a midnight snack later. To no one’s surprise, you readily agree. To Minho’s surprise, you kiss him on the cheek, flash him a wicked smile, and start heading for the front door.
genre:angst au: noir au warnings: alcohol, implied drugs wordcount:1k pairing: f!reader x hwang hyunjin
Your long fur coat settles around you like a puddle of luxury as you take a seat at the counter. It’s slow tonight, with only a smattering of gentlemen flocking around the stage of the woman who sings in a voice made of honey. Cigar smoke wafts throughout the bar, intermingling with the distinct perfume of booze.
Your eyes wander to the expansive shelves behind the bar and take note of the expensive collection of bottles on the top shelf. The golden scotch interests you, but perhaps another time. Before you can call the dark-haired bartender over, he comes to you instead. With a silky smooth smile, he slides a shot of whiskey across to you. “On the house.”
Rule #1 of The Apothecary: Do not drink anything you did not ask for.
You push it back with your index finger. “I’m more of a gin person myself. Clover Club with a shot of oxy, please.”
“Coming right up.”
While he busies himself with your order, you do your best to keep an impassive expression on your face. However, the cleverly hidden door in the far back of the buildings distracts you. Forget the drinks, people only come to The Apothecary for one reason. You keep one hand on the inside pocket of your coat, feeling for the carefully folded bills inside. They are all accounted for; you know that even through the lining.
You listen to the jazz singer croon into the microphone for another minute, watching the men as they talk amongst themselves, raise glasses of bourbon to their lips, wolf whistle when they spot you lounging in the dark. The lipsticked smile you flash sends them into howls.
The bartender sets down your cocktail in front of you. In a low voice, he says, “He’s ready for you.”
The door is now ajar, weak light filtering through the crack, beckoning you to come in. Taking your drink, you make your way inside. A young man with blond hair sits behind a mahogany desk in a chair made of crimson velvet. Just the sight of him makes your heart pound. Saint Valentine in all of his glory.
“Hey there, dollface,” he says. Then he taps the wooden tray on the desk.
Rule #2 of The Apothecary: Always bring an offering.
You place down your pink cocktail, taking special care to not disturb the line of white foam on top. Then you take out the money and set that on the other end of the tray. “Clover Club,” you inform him as you sit opposite of him, “and the usual.”
He sips on the drink, making a sour face when he tastes the sweetness. “Gin rickeys are much better than this. Dark or light this time? Or both?”
“Both.”
He procures two glass vials from a desk drawer, and you accept them. One vial is filled with a clear, almost iridescent, liquid, and the other is a deep amber tone.
Rule #3 of The Apothecary: Ensure what you are being served is what you requested.
You uncap the light vial and allow yourself a mere drop of the potion. A warmth spreads through you, and an enchanted serenity falls over you. You feel the ghost of your mother’s arms around your shoulders, the dizzying laugh of your best friend, the rhythm of Saint Valentine’s lilting words. For a moment, you are euphoric, dancing atop of heaven’s clouds with Aphrodite smiling upon you.
Then it all disappears.
Without thinking, you clasp your hand over your heart, almost gasping when you find yourself back in the bar. Everything is dull in comparison to what you just experienced. Disappointment and anguish coat you like tar, and your mouth waters for another drop. However, you tamp your desires down and grab your sleeve for an earthly anchor. Saint Valentine sinks into his chair when he notes that you have come down from your high. He nods to the dark vial, and you roll it into your palm.
You pop off the cap before holding it out to him. “Will there ever be a day where you try it instead of me?”
“You know I don’t dabble in my own goods. It’s bad for business.”
“Of course.”
You take a tiny sip. Saint Valentine clouds your thoughts—his midnight eyes, his marble cheeks, his Cupid’s bow. The droll voice he uses when he speaks to you. That perfectly delectable, plump lower lip of his. He is so close. If you stand up and lean across, he would be yours, and you would be his. You want—no, need—to kiss him.
“I…” you breathe, gripping the edge of the desk for support, “I… love—”
You snap out of the spell, a hot blush creeping up your face as you realize how near you are to him. Even after the effects of the drink have worn off, your passion for him still lingers. One accidental move could mean that you would be touching him. However, you fall back into your seat, trying to appear less flustered. He stares back with a faint smirk playing on his lips. You watch them when he asks, “All to your liking?”
In a desperate attempt to regain composure, you give him a cold look that melts as soon as you notice the bob of his throat when he tries the cocktail again. “They’re perfect. As always.” You stand up and smooth your coat. “I’ll see you next week.”
Saint Valentine slowly blinks at you and devilishly smiles, sending an involuntary shiver down your spine. “Send my regards to the gentleman you seduce next. God only knows how hurt he’ll be when he discovers what your true intentions are. It might even kill him.”
“See you next week,” you repeat.
You stalk out of the room and then out of the bar. The bartender says something to you as you stroll past, but you cannot hear him over the applause from the stage and the rush of wind as you push open the door. You make it down one block before fumbling for the light vial and consuming all of its contents.
This time you only feel Saint Valentine, only him.
psst if you want a fluffy, valentine’s day story with hyunjin:candy hearts
