@yongguksgiggle: Hiiiiiiii!!!!!! Can you write an imagine about hyunjin being best friends with the reader and then eventually they turn into lovers??? My heart aches for that right now
Your first thought of Hyunjin having the potential to be more than just your best friend was when the two of you were thirteen. A carnival came to town that summer and one Friday night after riding all of your favorite rides together, the two of you decided to go and play some games. You weren’t winning at any of the booths, but for some reason the game where you had to launch the frogs onto the lily pads was frustrating you more than most. After watching you fail miserably at it for several minutes, Hyunjin stepped in suggested you take a break and let him have a try. It took him a few tries, but eventually he was able to win a small stuffed animal, letting you choose which one you wanted. The worker running the booth passed the blue and purple cat you had pointed to over to Hyunjin, and when he in turn handed the stuffed cat to you, your hands touched for just the briefest moment. Sure, you guys had had physical contact before, but something about this just felt different. You blushed, thanked him for the stuffed animal, and were unable to look him in the eye for the rest of the night. He was, as usual, oblivious to your change in behavior. You quickly pushed the thoughts away because you didn’t ever know what to do with them and soon the feelings were gone.
The second time you had a thought like this was when you were fifteen. Your first ever boyfriend had just broken up with you after three months of dating and while you hadn’t been in love with him, not by a long shot, it still hurt to be dumped seemingly out of nowhere. It happened on a Thursday night, and you convinced your mom that you weren’t feeling well enough to go to school the next day. You were home alone, moping all day, until there was a knock on the door. You opened it, and there was Hyunjin. Immediately after getting out of school he had run to your house, with a quick stop at the store to buy a carton of your favorite ice cream. He said he wouldn’t have gone to school at all if he knew you were hurting enough to skip out on it yourself. The two of you spent the rest of the afternoon eating the ice cream and watching whatever reality tv show was playing that day. It wasn’t until your sister came home and woke you guys up from the nap you had accidentally taken with teasing comments about how you guys were cuddling that you thought about the feeling you had that night at the carnival. You quickly dispelled them from your mind; your boyfriend had just broken up with you and you were in no hurry to get into another relationship, especially not with Hyunjin. You knew he would never in a million years do anything to hurt you, but you were still afraid that things might end up the same way this relationship had, and you would lose not only a boyfriend but your best friend in that deal.
Now the two of you were eighteen, barely college students, although the stress of your first semester made you grateful Hyunjin ended up going to the same school as you because he was great at taking your mind of things. Currently, the thing he was supposed to be taking your mind off of was the final paper for the English literature course the two of you were both in. However, seeing as he was just as stressed about it as you were, things weren’t really going so well. You were spread out on your bed, face pressed into a pillow with papers and books you had checked out from the campus library spread all around you. Hyunjin was at your desk with a similar array of papers and books, and he was even trying to read through one of the books while sitting upside down in your desk chair, or at least that’s how the scene looked the last time you looked over at him. It was the sound of a frustrated groan followed by a loud thud that made you look back up again, only to see him curled on the floor half under your desk with the book covering his face.
“You okay over there?” you asked, partially concerned and partially confused. Hyunjin let out another groan before responding.
“Yeah, I just don’t think I can deal with this paper any longer.”
“Well if it makes you feel any better, after you write it and hand it in, you never have to deal with it again,” you said. His only response was to move the book away from his face so you could see that he was glaring at you. “Hey, I’m not wrong!” you insisted.
“Can we just take a break? Like, I know we haven’t gotten much done, but I need a break or else my head will explode.” You agreed, and the two of you made your way to tiny kitchen your apartment had in order to get some food.
“Do you want me to reheat some leftover pasta?” you asked. He nodded and made a sound of approval before moving to help you get out two bowls, two forks, and of course the pasta in question. You handed him the first bowl after it was done heating up in the microwave, but instead of moving to go sit down somewhere and eat it, Hyunjin just stood next to you, a little closer than he normally would. He put the bowl of pasta on the counter and instead grabbed one of your hands. As much as you wish it didn’t, that same flutter from the night of the carnival and the day he helped you get through your breakup made its way from your stomach up through your heart before settling in your throat, preventing you from saying anything. The two of you just stood there, feeling like the moment was suspended in time.
“You know what I heard is good for relieving stress?” he finally asked in a low voice.
“W-what’s that?” you managed to squeak out, your voice almost blocked out by the beeping of the microwave.
“Kissing,” he responded, that mischievous smirk of his playing on his lips. You made a surprised noise and went to pull away, but froze when you locked eyes with him. There was a look in his eyes that you had never seen before. It was a look that made your feelings for him feel not weird and out of place like they had previously, but welcome and right and real.
“Can I kiss you? Please?”
“Yes.”
i actually proofread this one! so if there are any mistakes just ignore them lol
→ summary: after a confused and arduous breakup, you forced yourself to walk away from everything that reminded you of the great love of your life. but fate always betrayed you, bringing him back, whether in the slightest details.
→ warnings:really angsty, some (a lot) insecurities
for you, everyone deserves an enduring kind of love.
and you’ve had it for a long time. it’s bittersweet, eerie, and at the same time so real-time. your relationship with hyunjin was far from perfect, but you loved each other more than anything in the world and there was mutual respect, an unconventional devotion that protected your relationship.
until it’s over.
two months ago, if someone said that you and hyunjin would break up so abruptly, you would laugh and say that the person had lost his mind. he was your half, your best friend, your confidant. the odds of breaking up with him were the same as snowing in the desert. but little did you know, the odds are never below zero.
in those two months, you learned to walk alone. it lingered your best moments together. It didn’t help to be inside the same building every day, just a few floors and doors apart, but it was your job, so it wasn’t possible to avert something from happening. you trained day and night, sometimes staying in the studios until dawn to occupy your head and avoiding leaving at the same time as him, so as not to run into each other around the building.
you still saw him, not in person, but every single little living memory.
in the practicing rooms, when he would choose some random song and you would come up with an improvised choreography together. and every time he ends up with his arms around your waist, kissing your neck and one thing leads to another until the door needs to be locked so you guys have some privacy. looking into the expansive mirror was like staring into a reflection of remembrances, that you needed to immediately forget.
the melancholic part of it all is that you don’t know exactly what you did to make the relationship end. You thought he loved you the same way you loved him, but guess things weren’t quite like that. and it wasn’t like you didn’t know about the slanderous dating rumors in the media about him and that other girl, so much more beautiful, talented, and perfect than you. it was to be imagined that he’d be with someone impeccable like him, who paired so well that it was appealing to look at.
and it shattered you more and more every day.
it was hard to picture your love life with someone else, but you didn’t want to be someone neurotic and dramatic over this. it was over and as much as it hurt, it was something you had to accept. in your own way, but you could do it.
it was past 11:30 pm. studios were emptier and you were pleased for the privacy to be able to practice a little on your own. sometimes you practiced all day to the point where your body couldn’t take it anymore. it was like a punishment, in a way. it got worse when you first saw her, the first leaked photo of hyunjin getting into a car with her. so your twisted mind forced you to work harder and harder, on the verge of physical and mental exhaustion, so there was no time to think about how you had lost him forever and how you would never be good enough for him.
you were sitting in front of the mirror, your head down as you took a deep breath, drained from your last workout. your body needed some rest after all. you heard the door open quickly, camouflaged with laughter but whining voices. your heart trodden too fast and your brisk movements made you feel briefly woozy. all the voices fell silent as your abashed eyes stared at the eight boys standing in the doorway, staring at you as if you were a terrified animal in the woods.
and he was there, enthralled at the sight of you. two months of trying thrown to the wind, trying to avoid his presence, walking in the shadows, and being invisible.
you noticed when jisung shoved hyunjin with his elbow, gently pushing him forward. he was different. for two months you didn’t see him in person. and your heart wanted to dissolve in tears..
“sorry. we didn’t know the room was occupied.” hyunjin spoke again, his voice as soothing as ever. "mm, we’ll find another one to use.”
“it’s fine, i was on my way out.” you ran to the corner to get your bag and coat and without fronting any of them, your body blurred through the door, like a spectral in the gloom.
your vision was flecked with tears, it was unavoidable. your heart was heavy in your chest as if it were begging to cry. your steps were nimble to the elevator. as you waited, you tried to take a deep breath, closing your eyes and regulating your breathing. some staff passed by the place and wished you good night, but not before checking the critical emotional state engraved on your face.
wind outside the parking lot was stinging brutal. it was a clean-cut, drying your tears before they even started. your hands were shaking rashly as your mind took you to places you didn’t want to go.
one of the worst parts of getting over someone was heeding details everywhere. hyunjin wasn’t only on your mind but also in that cozy restaurant on the block. he was on the small keyring he’d given you, shaped like a gold star with his initials minted in, which was now split in half. his aroma was still in your bedsheets, sweet shampoo and male cologne.
he was all over you.
looking at that damn keyring, you wanted to scream, you wanted to go up all those floors and defy him the reason for everything. didn’t you deserve one? an explanation?
looking up at the stellar onyx sky, your vision is still blurry. your breath condensed in the air, forming a white coating around your tremulant lips. once again looking at your phone, looking for an uber drive, your heart raced a little more as you heard footsteps echoing through the company’s open parking lot. to your relief, it wasn’t him and his sandy hair and caracal eyes, but only felix. a friend you made a point of keeping your distance after breaking up with him.
“lix, hi.” your fingers were brief to wipe away any lingering tears from your face.
“you forgot that up there. i thought it’d be important to give it back.” between felix’s long, steady fingers were your notebook. at the time you didn’t realize that you had forgotten.
“oh, thanks. it was very kind of you.”
"are you okay?” that caught you out of guard.
“of course.” you agreed despite the knot in your throat.
felix was an amazing friend. when he was together at rehearsals, it was always fun. along with hyunjin, you loved watching them dance freely, or even practice the group’s choreography. they were incredible together, moving with the wind with impeccable dexterity. so much so, that you learned a lot of skills from both dancers. now you don’t know when you’d do something like this again, feeling this glee of excitement with something you love to do.
“you know, i don’t want to get involved, but you should talk to him.”
you blinked a few times, baffled.
“why should i?”
“he misses you”
“mm, not sure about that”
“i know hyunjin, he’s my best friend. he thinks he’s hiding his feelings well, but he’s an open book. i don’t know exactly what happened, but one thing i’m sure of: hyunjin loves you.”
how could you be sure and trust felix’s words when all of hyunjin’s actions and attitudes proved otherwise? if he loved you, he should let you know. he should have given you a reason, not left you in oblivion, suffering in perpetuum for something you didn’t even understand.
your uber arrived, honking lightly, taking your distraction from felix’s hearty eyes.
“my uber’s here. see you around, lix.”
and even though you were sure it was a lie, felix’s words stayed in your mind throughout the night.
a few days passed and a get-together at the company would take place. you trainee friends made a point of create a small group to talk about looks they were going to wear, all thrilled about all the booze and the opportunities that could arise there.
it was a nice place, with a high city view and balcony where people were spread out with their martini and colorful drinks. lively music played from above and several other people gathered to dance in the space that’d be a dance floor—with a mirrored globe.
you did your best. a dress that hugged your body snugly and the makeup in your eyes, men would turn their necks just to watch you walk around in your high-heeled boots— and even not admitting to yourself, you were loving all this attention, it was doing so good for your ego. and hyunjin caught every glance, every crooked neck sneaking up to catch a glimpse of your bare skin. he was tired, in fact, the idea of staying up late at a party tired him so much. he’d rather be at home, regretting that he was a fucking coward, that he’d lost the only sure and solid thing he had in life besides his career.
so every time you smirked with another man by your side, sipping a little of your margarita, hyunjin felt his body rattle. it was a vexatious of emotions. he was happy to see you, he was crazy to get close and touch your face, kiss you and take you to the closest place and love your body with devotion. but he also remembered that none of this would be possible, because he broke up with you.
anger stings and guilt consumed him to the point of downing the entire glass in one go, making felix and fhan stare at him apprehensively. he’d find a way, but you’d be his again.
nearly two hours later you were on your third drink—or fourth, you’d already lost count. your head was light, problems were no longer there, and you were fine—happy, even. your body moved as if you were on cloud nine, touching yourself lightly, feeling the music control your every move.
by now you had also lost count of how many men had tried to approach you, dancing too close to you, saying what they wanted in your ear. but you weren’t interested. in fact, you had someone else on your mind. the sandy-haired, cat-eyed boy who seemed to pierce your gaze from the other side. hyunjin watched you with esteem, love, and lust. and part of you made you feel ashamed— cheap—for wanting him under these conditions, that part tried to convince you that he was an asshole, that he broke up with you and not the other way around.
but the way his eyes looked so fucking deep, it was insane. his thoughts were as clear as yours.
you had no idea how long he held that feral gaze, filled with rage, longing and something more. hyunjin just took his eyes off you when she appeared. the girl you were replaced by and it made your stomach swirl so hard you thought you were going to throw up right then and there. how could he? you wouldn’t stay there a minute longer, watching that happen, watching that girl hug him so intimately, as if they’d known each other for so long.
what if they did? what if hyunjin was secretly seeing her while you were together?
nausea hit you hard and you forced your feet to go one place, any other. you ended up finding solitude on the porch, climbing some stairs to the top floor where no one would even bother you. your vision again blurred, with defiant tears begging to tear down your face.
your hands were shaking so badly that you had to lean against the wall, trying to regain focus. no matter what, you’d never be close to or look at hyunjin like that again. e v e r.
You couldn’t stop staring at them. No matter how hard you tried to avert your attention, you were just too mesmerized by the way his lips moved as he sung softly to himself. You felt your cheeks heat at the embarrassment of being caught staring at him but you couldn’t find yourself caring.
His lips were just so damnperfect.
Without thinking, you leaned forward, capturing them in a kiss that pulled Chan’s attention from his laptop, quickly sliding the headphones off of his head.
“W-What was that for,” he sputtered as when you pulled back, blushing furiously at the sudden affection.
You didn’t say anything as you leaned back in. You pressed soft kisses so his cupids bow, giggling softly as he pulled you closer to him. You continued to trail your lips across his as he happily welcomed your little kisses. When you pulled back to look at him you you couldn’t help but to let out a sigh at how pretty he was, bare faced, cheeks a light shade of pink and those beautiful lips even more plush than before from your consistent attack on his lips.
You gently ran your thumb against the skin of his cheek, taking in every inch of his beauty.
“You’re so pretty,” you whispered, leaning in to press a kiss against his nose.
Chan knew better than to argue with you, instead opting to pull you closer to him as he uttered those three words you never got tired of hearing against your lips. Let’s just say that the two of you didn’t do anything productive the rest of the night, favoring instead to stay in each others embrace as got lost in the feeling of one another’s lips.
You don’t remember how you ended up here but you weren’t going to complain. The breeze caressed your bare legs, eyes falling closed as you listened to the rustling of the leaves and the distant chirps of the birds that had occupied the small park in search for food.
The tears had stopped awhile ago, however the sharp sting of them was still ever so present. You pulled your knees to your chest, hugging them close to you in search of some form of comfort as your wrapped your arms around your shoulders.
The events from today hadn’t stopped plaguing your mind. You were hurt, lost and confused to say the least. Hyunjin’s actions in the pool had contrasted with the concerned look your were met with before running away.
Maybe you had looked into it a little too much.
Your insecurities always did seem to get the better of you. But right now, all you could picture was the way his smile had dropped when he looked at you. You shook your head, willing the tears away as you didn’t want to cry anymore, head still thumping from your previous outburst.
“Y/n!”
The sudden shout of your name had you startling out of your thoughts, eyes widening as you turned to the source.
Hyunjin practically collapsed next to you on the bench, heaving as he hunched over to catch his breath. You stared wide eyed at his form, confused as to why he was even looking for you in the first place.
“Do—Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been,” he forced out in-between breaths.
You just looked at him. The words had caught in your throat, unknowing of what to say to him. You watched as he closed his eyes, taking a deep final breath before turning to you.
“You were looking for me?”
He looked taken back as he scooted his body towards you, “Of course I was looking for you! You’ve had me worried sick. Why wouldn’t I look for you?”
“You seemed like you didn’t want me around before—” you trailed off, cursing as you felt the tears cloud your vision once more.
“Why would you think that? Of course I wanted you around. I always want you to be with me.”
“Hyun you couldn’t even l-look at me.”
His eyes widened as your voice broke, watching silently as the tears began to fall from your eyes.
“I-I know I embarrassed you and I’m sorry—.”
“Embarrassed? What—Y/n you’ve never embarrassed me.”
“Please don’t lie to me.”
Hyunjin looked just as heartbroken as he met your gaze, his own eyes filling with tears as he released a shaky breath.
“I know I-I’m not attractive but Hyunjin the minute I got in the pool—I don’t know I just felt like your were disgusted seeing me like that.”
His eyes widened as he watched you wipe your tears before trying to move yourself away from him. However, he caught your arm before you could.
“God no that’s not it at all! I’m sorry I just— this is going to be embarrassing for me to admit,” he blinked the tears out of his eyes before turning his gaze back towards you.
“I’m sorry that I made you feel less about yourself. That was never my intention and I want you to know that I’ve never been, nor will I ever be embarrassed of you.”
You noticed that he hesitated, eyes flickering around the two of you before turning his attention back on you.
“This is going to sound like such a perve thing to say but Y/n you have no idea the power you hold over me with your clothes on and seeing you in that swimsuit it took everything in me not to take you right then and there in front of everyone.”
Your eyes widened at the sudden confession.
“W-What,” you sputtered, earning a small groan from Hyunjin.
“I know and I’m sorry but you have no idea how good you looked and it took everything in me not to touch you. That’s why I couldn’t look at you because I knew if I did I would embarrass myself,” he whined as his face fell into his hands.
You let out a soft laugh at his muffled ‘but admitting that is embarrassing too idiot,’ before reaching up to run your fingers gently through his hair.
Hyunjin dropped his hands from his face at your touch, gently grasping your wrist as he pulled you closer to him, smiling at you before leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours.
“I’m sorry I was such an ass. I never wanted to hurt you or make you feel insecure. God you have no idea what you do to me angel. I love every part of you.”
You hummed, eyes fluttering open as you pulled back to fix him with a playful glare.
“But you haven’t seen all of me yet though,” you teased.
Hyunjin smirked, biting his lip as he pulled you closer to him by your waist, “We can fix that.”
omg so jinie wasn’t actually embarrassed ^-^ im happy that he cleared up the issue and the mc felt better at the end
nope it was all just a misunderstanding!! ☺️ thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts with me! <3
You don’t remember how you ended up here but you weren’t going to complain. The breeze caressed your bare legs, eyes falling closed as you listened to the rustling of the leaves and the distant chirps of the birds that had occupied the small park in search for food.
The tears had stopped awhile ago, however the sharp sting of them was still ever so present. You pulled your knees to your chest, hugging them close to you in search of some form of comfort as your wrapped your arms around your shoulders.
The events from today hadn’t stopped plaguing your mind. You were hurt, lost and confused to say the least. Hyunjin’s actions in the pool had contrasted with the concerned look your were met with before running away.
Maybe you had looked into it a little too much.
Your insecurities always did seem to get the better of you. But right now, all you could picture was the way his smile had dropped when he looked at you. You shook your head, willing the tears away as you didn’t want to cry anymore, head still thumping from your previous outburst.
“Y/n!”
The sudden shout of your name had you startling out of your thoughts, eyes widening as you turned to the source.
Hyunjin practically collapsed next to you on the bench, heaving as he hunched over to catch his breath. You stared wide eyed at his form, confused as to why he was even looking for you in the first place.
“Do—Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been,” he forced out in-between breaths.
You just looked at him. The words had caught in your throat, unknowing of what to say to him. You watched as he closed his eyes, taking a deep final breath before turning to you.
“You were looking for me?”
He looked taken back as he scooted his body towards you, “Of course I was looking for you! You’ve had me worried sick. Why wouldn’t I look for you?”
“You seemed like you didn’t want me around before—” you trailed off, cursing as you felt the tears cloud your vision once more.
“Why would you think that? Of course I wanted you around. I always want you to be with me.”
“Hyun you couldn’t even l-look at me.”
His eyes widened as your voice broke, watching silently as the tears began to fall from your eyes.
“I-I know I embarrassed you and I’m sorry—.”
“Embarrassed? What—Y/n you’ve never embarrassed me.”
“Please don’t lie to me.”
Hyunjin looked just as heartbroken as he met your gaze, his own eyes filling with tears as he released a shaky breath.
“I know I-I’m not attractive but Hyunjin the minute I got in the pool—I don’t know I just felt like your were disgusted seeing me like that.”
His eyes widened as he watched you wipe your tears before trying to move yourself away from him. However, he caught your arm before you could.
“God no that’s not it at all! I’m sorry I just— this is going to be embarrassing for me to admit,” he blinked the tears out of his eyes before turning his gaze back towards you.
“I’m sorry that I made you feel less about yourself. That was never my intention and I want you to know that I’ve never been, nor will I ever be embarrassed of you.”
You noticed that he hesitated, eyes flickering around the two of you before turning his attention back on you.
“This is going to sound like such a perve thing to say but Y/n you have no idea the power you hold over me with your clothes on and seeing you in that swimsuit it took everything in me not to take you right then and there in front of everyone.”
Your eyes widened at the sudden confession.
“W-What,” you sputtered, earning a small groan from Hyunjin.
“I know and I’m sorry but you have no idea how good you looked and it took everything in me not to touch you. That’s why I couldn’t look at you because I knew if I did I would embarrass myself,” he whined as his face fell into his hands.
You let out a soft laugh at his muffled ‘but admitting that is embarrassing too idiot,’ before reaching up to run your fingers gently through his hair.
Hyunjin dropped his hands from his face at your touch, gently grasping your wrist as he pulled you closer to him, smiling at you before leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours.
“I’m sorry I was such an ass. I never wanted to hurt you or make you feel insecure. God you have no idea what you do to me angel. I love every part of you.”
You hummed, eyes fluttering open as you pulled back to fix him with a playful glare.
“But you haven’t seen all of me yet though,” you teased.
Hyunjin smirked, biting his lip as he pulled you closer to him by your waist, “We can fix that.”
genre:onlyheadcanons au: regency au, pride and prejudice au warnings:none word count: 0.8k pairing:none a/n:currently going through a pride and prejudice phase right now. if you want to read an actual p&p au i wrote: the first step
bang chan - mr. bang’s mrs. bennet’s poor nerves
“Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion on my poor nerves.”
“You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least.”
lee minho - “oh, darcy has a lot of money, like a lot”
It was a large, handsome stone building, standing well on rising ground, and backed by a ridge of high woody hills; and in front, a stream of some natural importance was swelled into greater, but without any artificial appearance. Its banks were neither formal nor falsely adorned. Elizabeth was delighted. She had never seen a place for which nature had done more, or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by an awkward taste. They were all of them warm in their admiration; and at that moment she felt that to be mistress of Pemberley might be something!
seo changbin - “i guess he’s good enough for you”
Elizabeth had the satisfaction of seeing her father taking pains to get acquainted with him; and Mr. Bennet soon assured her that he was rising every hour in his esteem.
“I admire all my three sons-in-law highly,” said he. “Wickham, perhaps, is my favourite; but I think I shall like your husband quite as well as Jane’s.”
hwang hyunjin - moments before disaster
“May I hope, madam, for your interest with your fair daughter Elizabeth, when I solicit for the honour of a private audience with her in the course of this morning?”
Before Elizabeth had time for anything but a blush of surprise, Mrs. Bennet answered instantly, “Oh dear!—yes—certainly. I am sure Lizzy will be very happy—I am sure she can have no objection. Come, Kitty, I want you up stairs.” And, gathering her work together, she was hastening away, when Elizabeth called out:
“Dear madam, do not go. I beg you will not go. Mr. Collins must excuse me. He can have nothing to say to me that anybody need not hear. I am going away myself.”
“No, no, nonsense, Lizzy. I desire you to stay where you are.” And upon Elizabeth’s seeming really, with vexed and embarrassed looks, about to escape, she added: “Lizzy, I insist upon your staying and hearing Mr. Collins.”
han jisung - “i’m not good at talking” “that sounds like a you problem”
“I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,” said Darcy, “of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.”
“My fingers,” said Elizabeth, “do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women’s do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault—because I will not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman’s of superior execution.”
lee felix - pretty girls everywhere
“I would not be so fastidious as you are,” cried Bingley, “for a kingdom! Upon my honour, I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and there are several of them you see uncommonly pretty.”
“You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room,” said Mr. Darcy, looking at the eldest Miss Bennet.
“Oh! she is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you.”
kim seungmin - the world’s most pretentious compliment
“Oh! certainly,” cried his faithful assistant, “no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.”
“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”
“I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any.”
yang jeongin - clowns are meant to be laughed at
“But upon my honour, I do not. I do assure you that my intimacy has not yet taught me that. Tease calmness of manner and presence of mind! No, no; I feel he may defy us there. And as to laughter, we will not expose ourselves, if you please, by attempting to laugh without a subject. Mr. Darcy may hug himself.”
“Mr. Darcy is not to be laughed at!” cried Elizabeth. “That is an uncommon advantage, and uncommon I hope it will continue, for it would be a great loss to me to have many such acquaintances. I dearly love a laugh.”
genre: only headcanons au: non-idol au/post-idol au warnings: one instance of swearing word count: 0.2k pairing:none a/n:no pictures, just vague descriptions
bang chan
➵ script on his wrist with a reminder to take care of himself ➵ probably handwritten by his mom/other members of skz ➵ gets a minimalist compass on the other wrist
lee minho
➵ just a bunch of random bullshit on his chest and back (sticker style) ➵ all color, no black and white ➵ definitely a cat-related tattoo somewhere (in my head, he has catnip on his ribcage, read the fic i wrote here)
seo changbin
➵ black and white full sleeve ➵ spent way too much time trying to weave in as many elements as possible ➵ an allegorical piece about his struggles
hwang hyunjin
➵ full back piece ➵ designed it himself but modeled it after renaissance paintings ➵ black and white because he’s dramatic like that
han jisung
➵ studio ghibli and anime themed tattoos ➵ small, minimalist ➵ loves them all so much, he accidentally starts a sticker style sleeve
lee felix
➵ hear me out, leg sleeve ➵ neo-traditional flowers and animals in color ➵ flower and color symbolism everywhere
kim seungmin
➵ surrealist tattoo that follows the flow of his bicep ➵ if he flexes, it’ll warp in a really cool way ➵ black and white with some red accents
yang jeongin
➵ new school style tattoo on his forearm ➵ probably an animal-food hybrid ➵ gets a corresponding animal-drink hybrid on his ankle
genre:fluff au:non-idol au warnings:swearing word count: 1.3k pairing: gn!reader x ot8
bang chan - tying his tie for him
On the morning he has to give a presentation to the board, he comes out of the bathroom and asks you to help him tie his tie. Still in a sleepy haze, you stumble out of bed and nearly trip over your own feet. While he reviews his presentation notes, his warm breath grazing across the tops of your knuckles, you fumble with the strip of fabric, wondering why your fingers feel so leaden. Oh, that’s because you don’t really know how to tie a tie even when you’re wide awake. You curse when you realize that you’ve ended up playing cat’s cradle with yourself.
“You don’t know how to do this, huh?” he says, smiling.
“I don’t know why you even asked me,” you grumble as you reach for your phone, hoping that the first web result will be an easy tutorial.
“Because it always makes me laugh.”
“Asshole.”
lee minho - singing in the car, getting lost upstate
The spontaneous road trip is your idea, so you’re the one driving, which means that it’s time to roll the windows down, blast the music loud, and shout all of the lyrics until you lose your voice. Minho is making up the words as he goes, hyping you up when he can’t make up any more lyrics to the cheesy hype songs you like so much. It’s not until the sun is almost down that you realize that you haven’t been attention to your surroundings at all. Gone are the typical street signs and establishments; how the fuck are you guys in the middle of nowhere?
“We’re definitely lost,” you say. “Can you pull up the GPS?”
“There’s no service out here. Turn around, maybe there’s signal back there.”
You comply and keep driving, waiting for him to announce that he’s got a signal, and after a few heart-stopping seconds, he finally does.
“Told you we should’ve have picked a destination,” he jokes. “We could have died.”
“But that’s why it’s fun!”
seo changbin - kissing in the rain
Thick, gray clouds predicate the rainstorm, so you and Changbin wait excitedly under the porch until the rain starts falling. Item number 17 on the relationship bucket list: kiss in the rain. When it finally begins, Changbin drags you out into the backyard, pulling you close only when your hair and clothes are thoroughly drenched. His own shirt is soaked through, revealing his muscles underneath, making you blush when he catches you staring. With a great big grin, he puts his lips on yours. It’s hot and cold all at once but not in a good way.
“We’re never doing this again,” you gasp, trying not to drink any of the water dripping down your nose. “Or maybe when it’s not storming.”
“I heard it’s going to drizzling tomorrow,” he slyly says. “We can try again. I’m down if you’re down.”
“I’m down if there’s no downpour.”
hwang hyunjin - giving flowers to him
This problem would not have existed if you were less stingy, but you are not, so here you are, traipsing through the ancient rose bushes on your property, trying not to get pricked by any thorns. In one gloved hand, you have kitchen scissors, and in the other, a measly three pink roses. The red roses never seem to bloom, and you wonder if this is a omen. You find a yellow rose that looks presentable and add it to your flimsy bouquet. Unfortunately, those are the only four roses that aren’t on the verge of dying, so you head inside to surprise Hyunjin with what you have.
“What’s this?” he says, trying to hold in a laugh.
You hide your bandaged hand behind your back. “Proof that I love you. I would have bought you nice ones, but my blood’s on these, so they’re worth more.”
“We’re doing blood sacrifices, huh?”
“Only the best for my love.”
han jisung - leaving notes for each other
While Jisung writes notes to you on the loveliest stationery ever, you are not quite as romantic as he is and prefer to use whatever you have lying around, be it the back of a take-out receipt or a ripped out corner of a flyer. Your note to him today is on a brown paper bag. Using a black marker, you copy the lines from a poem across the top and leave the bag beside his collection of mugs, only to spy a cream-colored piece of paper nestled in between two red mugs. With a smile, you pluck it out and unfold it. In the nicest calligraphy ever, complete with extraneous flourishes, it reads Bitch.Of course you have to add your very own elegant “bitch” to end of that very sweet poem.
When Jisung comes out to the kitchen for breakfast, he spies your note immediately. After he reads it, without looking up, he says, “Bitch.”
You kiss him good morning on the cheek. “Bitch.”
lee felix - breakfast in bed
In your half-awake state, you feel the bed shift, but since you spent last night holding back your friend’s hair, you think nothing of it and fall back into a deeper slumber. The next thing you know, the sun is in your lidded eyes, and Felix is gently shaking you. You barely register his morning greeting and mumble something unintelligible back before sitting up in bed. Unfortunately, since your eyes are still shut and since he gave no warning that a tray of food was balancing over your body, breakfast goes flying everywhere. Say goodbye to toast, eggs, bacon, and a glass of orange juice.
“I’m so sorry,” you moan as you take in the mess on the blanket and the carpet. “I’ll clean it up.”
“No, it’s okay. I got it.”
That doesn’t deter you. You gingerly step onto the floor and pick up the two pieces of toast. “What are you talking about? Sunday mornings are made for this.”
kim seungmin - sharing an umbrella
It sounded like a cute idea at first, but it’s absolutely horrible in practice because Seungmin has a tiny, tiny umbrella. It’s a green frog umbrella with pop-up eyes, which confirms your suspicions that it was made for a child, but you step under it anyway. The walk to the car from the museum is long, and you and he struggle to stay dry beneath the small canopy. It doesn’t matter that you’re practically hugging him; neither of you are safe. His wool sweater scratches against your own, and you keep bracing yourself for a shock of static every time he shifts the umbrella handle in his hand.
“Told you we should have brought my funeral umbrella,” you say as an incoming gust pelts your damp cheek with more rain.
His entire left side is drenched, but he smiles anyway. “You don’t like frogs?”
“Frogs like getting wet, I do not. Hey, stop trying to shield me.”
So he pushes the umbrella into your hands and runs out into the rain, laughing maniacally as he splashes into a puddle.
“You’re going to catch a cold tomorrow!” you shout, chasing after him.
yang jeongin - dancing ‘round the kitchen in the refrigerator light
At midnight, the windows are open, a summer song plays from Jeongin’s laptop, and the smell of pancakes wafts all throughout the kitchen. Jeongin is at the counter, topping his pile of pancakes with an abundance of whipped cream, while you dance around him on your tiptoes. He joins during the next song and sways his arms in the air before grabbing both of your hands. The two of you spin around in circles, laughing until you can no longer breathe properly. You dizzily stumble into the counter, hitting your ribs and feet against the counter.
You let out a long swear, completely ruining the atmosphere. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”
He’s concerned, but a faint smile appears anyway. “Are you sure? Because your hand is in a plate of pancakes.”
genre: fluff au: break up au warnings: none word count: 0.1k pairing: gn!reader x ot8 a/n: i’m about 90% joking lol
bang chan
He takes you out to a fancy candle-lit dinner. Cue the Legally Blonde levels of confusion.
lee minho
He sends you a card that says “Sorry For Your Loss” with a picture of him and his cats attached.
seo changbin
He writes you a song listing the reasons why for the breakup. It becomes a viral hit.
hwang hyunjin
He ghosts you. Takes all of his things, blocks you everywhere, and straight up moves to a new city.
han jisung
He does it over text, through emojis. It’s wildly confusing, but the broken hearts at the end clarify everything.
lee felix
He bakes you the most elaborate cake you have ever seen in your life. It’s really disappointing when you see the “I’m Breaking Up With You” lettering on top.
kim seungmin
He sends you a bouquet and a chart of flower meanings. You think the black roses and white lilies made his point obvious.
yang jeongin
He has a long, long speech prepared, and you actually have to interrupt because okay, you get it, no need to pour salt into the wound.
genre: fluff au: non-idol au warnings: none word count: 0.6k pairing: gn!reader x ot8
bang chan - park
Your first date is a complete surprise. He told you to dress nice, so you were expecting to go to a fancy restaurant, but it’s actually a picnic under the stars! He’s got a basket of caprese sandwiches, watermelon slices, and a whole apple pie. While the two of you sit on a red gingham blanket to eat, he makes up silly stories about the stars, and you tell him the real stories about the constellations. He then asks for you to tell him some about the moon, thinking that you don’t know any, but you surprise him with one about two lovers.
lee minho - cat café
His cats are the most important things to him, so he absolutely needs to know if you like them too. Also, a whole afternoon surrounded by cute kitties? Absolute heaven. You are beyond excited when you walk into the café. When you coo over every single cat that passes by and try to pet every one, he has to stop himself from joining in because he can’t let you know his weakness. When a tabby chooses to curl up on your lap and take a nap instead of his, he’s a little offended but simultaneously pleased. If the cats like you, then surely he will.
seo changbin - amusement park
Changbin doesn’t go to amusement parks for the rides. No, he goes to win stuffed animals at the game stalls. He wants to impress you by winning a giant bear at the dart throwing booth, but as it turns out, you’re way better at the game and end up winning it instead. He finds this incredibly hot. The bear sits between you two when you ride the ferris wheel at sunset. Since you can’t kiss him on top of the ferris wheel like you wanted, you kiss the bear instead and make him take it home. It takes you very little convincing.
hwang hyunjin - ice skating rink
Hyunjin knows how not to fall when ice skating, so he’s pretty much an expert. You have limited experience, so you’re clutching the wall for dear life while he coaxes you to trust him and hold onto his arm. When you eventually cave in, you cling to him like a koala as he teaches you how to properly glide instead of just marching along the ice. After a few rounds, you feel brave enough to try on your own, fall, grab hyunjin’s arm in panic, and accidentally bring him down with you. That kiss he gives isn’t an accident though.
han jisung - movie theater
He’s nervous and regretting his choice to watch a horror movie with you. He was betting that you would be scared and that he would be able to hold your hand to comfort you, but the problem is, he’s also scared, and he definitely can’t hold your hand because his palms are sweaty. You both end up panic-eating all of the overpriced popcorn, and now you’re in distress because there’s a popcorn kernel stuck in-between your front teeth. Luckily, both of you agree that since this is a terrible experience, another first date is in order, preferably ones with no horror movies.
lee felix - arcade
If Felix knew how competitive you were, he probably wouldn’t have picked the arcade. You are an absolute demon at air hockey, and he’s convinced that you have to be cheating somehow because there’s no way you scored five goals in a row. Same thing with the basketball free throwing game. When he beats you at DDR, you demand a rematch three times before reluctantly surrendering because he’s just too good. However, the claw machines best the both of you, and you’re the one who has to drag away before he loses all of his money trying to get that alligator plush.
kim seungmin - beach
It turns out to be more like a photography session. With his camera, he photographs you playing in the waves, looking for seashells, and doing your best not to scream when a bundle of seaweed gets tangled in your legs. While he helps you out, you take pictures of him with your phone, laughing as you capture his grimace when he holds up a long strand to show you. Afterwards, he suggests that maybe the boardwalk is a better place to be and offers to split a churro with you. And what do you know, the vendor has heart-shaped churros.
yang jeongin - pottery class
He really wants to reenact the pottery scene from the movie Ghost. The instructor sees this as well, so when she notices that you’re having some trouble getting your cup into the exact shape you want it in, she suggests that jeongin help you out. He sits behind you, cradling your body with his, and gently guides your hands. It’s way more intimate than he expected, and he’s bright red afterwards. You seem too busy with your brand new cup to notice, but when it’s time to paint and glaze a few days later, you guide his hand to draw a perfect heart in the center of his bowl.
genre:angst au: noir au warnings: alcohol, implied drugs wordcount:1k pairing: f!reader x hwang hyunjin
Your long fur coat settles around you like a puddle of luxury as you take a seat at the counter. It’s slow tonight, with only a smattering of gentlemen flocking around the stage of the woman who sings in a voice made of honey. Cigar smoke wafts throughout the bar, intermingling with the distinct perfume of booze.
Your eyes wander to the expansive shelves behind the bar and take note of the expensive collection of bottles on the top shelf. The golden scotch interests you, but perhaps another time. Before you can call the dark-haired bartender over, he comes to you instead. With a silky smooth smile, he slides a shot of whiskey across to you. “On the house.”
Rule #1 of The Apothecary: Do not drink anything you did not ask for.
You push it back with your index finger. “I’m more of a gin person myself. Clover Club with a shot of oxy, please.”
“Coming right up.”
While he busies himself with your order, you do your best to keep an impassive expression on your face. However, the cleverly hidden door in the far back of the buildings distracts you. Forget the drinks, people only come to The Apothecary for one reason. You keep one hand on the inside pocket of your coat, feeling for the carefully folded bills inside. They are all accounted for; you know that even through the lining.
You listen to the jazz singer croon into the microphone for another minute, watching the men as they talk amongst themselves, raise glasses of bourbon to their lips, wolf whistle when they spot you lounging in the dark. The lipsticked smile you flash sends them into howls.
The bartender sets down your cocktail in front of you. In a low voice, he says, “He’s ready for you.”
The door is now ajar, weak light filtering through the crack, beckoning you to come in. Taking your drink, you make your way inside. A young man with blond hair sits behind a mahogany desk in a chair made of crimson velvet. Just the sight of him makes your heart pound. Saint Valentine in all of his glory.
“Hey there, dollface,” he says. Then he taps the wooden tray on the desk.
Rule #2 of The Apothecary: Always bring an offering.
You place down your pink cocktail, taking special care to not disturb the line of white foam on top. Then you take out the money and set that on the other end of the tray. “Clover Club,” you inform him as you sit opposite of him, “and the usual.”
He sips on the drink, making a sour face when he tastes the sweetness. “Gin rickeys are much better than this. Dark or light this time? Or both?”
“Both.”
He procures two glass vials from a desk drawer, and you accept them. One vial is filled with a clear, almost iridescent, liquid, and the other is a deep amber tone.
Rule #3 of The Apothecary: Ensure what you are being served is what you requested.
You uncap the light vial and allow yourself a mere drop of the potion. A warmth spreads through you, and an enchanted serenity falls over you. You feel the ghost of your mother’s arms around your shoulders, the dizzying laugh of your best friend, the rhythm of Saint Valentine’s lilting words. For a moment, you are euphoric, dancing atop of heaven’s clouds with Aphrodite smiling upon you.
Then it all disappears.
Without thinking, you clasp your hand over your heart, almost gasping when you find yourself back in the bar. Everything is dull in comparison to what you just experienced. Disappointment and anguish coat you like tar, and your mouth waters for another drop. However, you tamp your desires down and grab your sleeve for an earthly anchor. Saint Valentine sinks into his chair when he notes that you have come down from your high. He nods to the dark vial, and you roll it into your palm.
You pop off the cap before holding it out to him. “Will there ever be a day where you try it instead of me?”
“You know I don’t dabble in my own goods. It’s bad for business.”
“Of course.”
You take a tiny sip. Saint Valentine clouds your thoughts—his midnight eyes, his marble cheeks, his Cupid’s bow. The droll voice he uses when he speaks to you. That perfectly delectable, plump lower lip of his. He is so close. If you stand up and lean across, he would be yours, and you would be his. You want—no, need—to kiss him.
“I…” you breathe, gripping the edge of the desk for support, “I… love—”
You snap out of the spell, a hot blush creeping up your face as you realize how near you are to him. Even after the effects of the drink have worn off, your passion for him still lingers. One accidental move could mean that you would be touching him. However, you fall back into your seat, trying to appear less flustered. He stares back with a faint smirk playing on his lips. You watch them when he asks, “All to your liking?”
In a desperate attempt to regain composure, you give him a cold look that melts as soon as you notice the bob of his throat when he tries the cocktail again. “They’re perfect. As always.” You stand up and smooth your coat. “I’ll see you next week.”
Saint Valentine slowly blinks at you and devilishly smiles, sending an involuntary shiver down your spine. “Send my regards to the gentleman you seduce next. God only knows how hurt he’ll be when he discovers what your true intentions are. It might even kill him.”
“See you next week,” you repeat.
You stalk out of the room and then out of the bar. The bartender says something to you as you stroll past, but you cannot hear him over the applause from the stage and the rush of wind as you push open the door. You make it down one block before fumbling for the light vial and consuming all of its contents.
This time you only feel Saint Valentine, only him.
psst if you want a fluffy, valentine’s day story with hyunjin:candy hearts
synopsis:working in a quaint little art store, you’ve had the honor of meeting all kinds of people, but you’ve never met somebody like him.
there were many reasons hyunjin returned to his hometown; a getaway from the ephemeral and fast-paced life of the city, so he could fall in love with life again. he thought he was prepared for everything, to study art in the way that he’s always wanted to, but what he didn’t anticipate was meeting you.
hwang hyunjin realises that sometimes, the best things in life happen unplanned.
series: star lost with you
pairing: idol! hyunjin x artist! reader
genre: friends to lovers, angst, smut, fluff, set in the idolverse, mutual pining, unrequited love, forbidden (?) romance, slowburn (!)
word count: 13K
warnings:cursing, angst, a lot dialogue, mature language, kissing, jealousy
a/n:this took me longer than i hoped, but i absolutely loved writing hyunjin here, especially after his art vlive where he talked about all the things he loves, and feels. it came at the perfect time, and I hope you like this chapter too!
as always, thank you @ortali my love, for this beautiful gif of hyun. <3
After a restless night, and a lot of tossing and turning, sleep finally came to you, eyes feeling heavy. It had only been your own excitement to blame, as you waited up for Hana’s text.
She had her date with Hyunjin tonight.
Knowing her, she would text you as soon as it ended, with a far too detailed account of everything that went down. From what appetisers they got off the menu, to how close they sat, and to how many times their hands “accidentally” brushed each other other while reaching for the same thing.
Hmm, perhaps that was a thing of the past, and of high school.
Maybe the better question would be how many times they kissed.
↳Part 2/9 ofUnmatched, 2022 rewrite. See part 1 for story description.
↳Female reader x Lee Know, female reader x Hyunjin
↳5.6k
!Strong language, established relationship, marriage au, love triangle au, thriller, romance, stripper-slash-escort Lee Know, husband Lee Know, heavy angst and tension, explicit sexual content, office sex, make-up sex, dirty talk, scenes of conflict, alcohol consumption, stripping, emotional turmoil, themes of casual sex, promiscuity, commitment issues and adult themes throughout !
Chan’s announcement cloaks the staff room in a reverent silence.
Even as the thud of his booted footsteps fade down the corridor, the tension remains palpable. Indeed, every person in proximity feels it, yet none of them dare to break it.
You’re in utter panic.
Your nerves are working overtime, all proverbial hands are on deck trying to calm you, yet it’s futile. You’re trembling, freezing all of a sudden. Heart pounding, a prickling of icy sweat nips at the nape of your neck and small of your back.
Yet worse than all that, is that you dare not look at Minho. You’re terrified of what you might see.
Of course, he’s the first to collect himself. He steps towards you, hand outstretched in what might well be an act of comfort, yet you can’t allow yourself the weakness of his touch. Can’t allow yourself the addling toxin that comes with his excuses, his justifications, his voice of reason that will assuredly side with Chan, because why wouldn’t he?
“I, uh… I’m going to call you that cab, Lix, okay? J— Just sit tight for a while.”
Voice shaky, polite and professional demeanour so clearly forced it’s enough to inspire pity, but nobody addresses it. They simply nod, smile, don’t try to stop you or offer words of consolation as you leave the room without a glance at your husband.
You suppose it was bound to happen, when your pretence of togetherness crumbles, for it was fragile at best. Your breaths come too sparse, too quick. Your temples throb, your racing, panicked heart is too erratic as it runs away from you, wanting out of the confines of your chest.
Space. That’s what you need. A little alone time to simply process, rationalise, perhaps break down in isolation.
The door to your office in sight, you rush the last few steps with unwanted tears, flinging it open and finding solace with your back against the hard wood as you slam it shut, shoring up for the intrusion you’re sure is coming.
You were a klutz, that wasn’t news. But maybe your clumsiness finally did you some good when you accidentally poured your banana smoothie all over Hwang Hyunjin. Hey, at least it got him to acknowledge you, right?@hyuwujin
There are a few rules to follow when you’re drunk, sleep deficit, or dangerously bored: never create fake social media accounts, never use those accounts to incite general chaos and mischief, and never ever lie about your identity, especially if it’s to the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen. Unfortunately for him, Hyunjin’s broken all three. @nakyngs
You expected this semester at jyp academy to be like any other but when you cross paths with the resident “bad boy”, Hwang Hyunjin, your life gets a bit more complicated. @starrytxt
College is a matter of working hard and playing hard. It’s an opportunity to start fresh, to grow as an individual and to blossom with those you befriend. People come and people go, leaving their mark on your life and showing you all the parts of becoming an adult. Some, however, do more than leave their mark. Some take just as much as they give. Things become complicated once they take the entirety of your love because you outright offered it to them. @wonderlustlucas
Y/n’s a huge fan of Hyunjin, a famous model. What happens when she gets herself tangled up in his life after an incident at the airport and now the media thinks she’s his girlfriend? @hyunjizns
The weirdest thing about switching bodies with an athlete isn’t when you wake up sore and bruised. Or when you go to sleep after a day of being in Hyunjin’s body after practice feeling like shit, but waking up in your own, all traces of pain dissipating. That isn’t even the worst part of it, though. The worst part is that you’re slowly falling in love with the second life you’re living. That you’re slowly falling in love with a boy you haven’t even met. @bangprint
The summer of 2012, I fell for you. We were only young, but my love for you did not last long. But now you’re back, and I am confused to say the least. @serenhyunjinity
College is supposed to be the best few years of your life, but it hardly feels like that for Hyunjin. He should be thrilled to be on the school’s elite dance team, and yet he’s more concerned about his best friend falling in love with another member. He only cares so much because he wants the best for her though, right? @panickedmarklee
the prince of the sea ; hyunjin | series masterlist
word count: 5.2k
warnings: angst, fluff, fantasy au, themes of horror (no gore, just general feeling of unease), lowkey stockholm syndrome, hyunjin is uncomfortably very full on, implied sex, maybe don’t read if you have thalassophobia
a/n: this ended up much longer than i anticipated but it’s finally done!!! i hope you guys enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it ;___;
The red sails above tremble under the whistling wind, a stark contrast to the gloomy grey skies. Undecided rain threatens to fall at any moment as the ship creaks and groans in distaste for the salty waters it safeguards you from. Truthfully, you had only agreed to venture on this expedition under the guise that it would be short and three weeks into it, you’re no closer to your destination. The captain had made sure that you were accommodated of course, you have your own private quarters adorned with silken sheets and gorgeous shining silverware; so not all is bad. Still, you’re what the locals dub “a landwalker” and for good reason; you would much prefer solid ground to the volatile waters.
Now the heavens pour open, a bad omen, rain begins to lash against your skin like tiny knives and you’re painfully aware of the entire crew’s eyes boring into your skull. You’d heard them protest as you boarded, some even spat at the ground as you passed but you held your head high and made your way to the captain, maps in hand and ready to assist whenever needed.
“Bad luck to have a woman on board,” it’s the first time a crew member dared speak to you, or rather, about you in this case. You raise an eyebrow as he stares, arms crossed tightly over his chest. “‘Specially in these waters.”
“And why is that?” you quiz, mimicking his stance, “Blatant sexism or just plain stupidity?”
Your remark earns some jeers from onlooking crewmen, one even pats you on the back. The first man shakes his head with a grimace.
“Come on lass, you’re telling me you haven’t heard the tales?”
Of course you are aware of the stories, you remember your Father reading you fables of the Prince of the Sea, an eternally woeful being whose spilled tears crafted the very ocean you sail upon. It’s said that he mourns the death of his beloved and is in search of anew. That his elegy of sorrow enchants whomever’s ears it happens to fall upon, luring them to their untimely demise. As a child you felt sorry for the Prince, losing his betrothed and while mourning being pestered by unwanted ships in his realm. Now as an adult, you see the tales for exactly what they are, propaganda to prevent women from sailing the seas
“You need not concern me with your stories,” you reply with a scoff, “Especially not old wives tales crafted to fuel your sexist agenda.”
“Made up stories, eh?” he says through gritted teeth, “Ships go missin’ with women on ‘em far too much to be coincidence.”
“Then I suggest you keep your eyes open for trouble instead of wasting my time.”
You’re thankful when he retreats, mumbling what you can only imagine to be curses under his breath. It need not concern you, all that matters to you at this moment is tracking your whereabouts and leading the crew to their destination. Rain continues to fall, your hair begins to drip at the ends as you wipe the drops from your compass. The dial spins for a moment before comfortably setting on the east.
It’s unusually welcoming when night falls, the crew’s boisterous clamouring quietens and the final shanty has been sung. The deluge had finally subsided too, replaced by a vista of stars; you divine them, tracing the shapes of latent constellations. The ship sways with the tide, rocking the crew to a gentle sleep and leaving you almost completely alone, save for a few nocturnal sailors who chug rum like it’s water. They’d fall into an alcohol induced slumber soon enough. You watch the waves as they languidly ebb and flow against the hull and suddenly you’re homesick; longing to see your friends and family again. It has been longer than anticipated and will be longer still; you begin to wonder if they’re worried. The thoughts consume you and for a brief lapse in judgement, you consider joining the drunken sea dogs who are now passed out on deck. You shake your head and chuckle at their misfortune, unbeknownst to your own.
Fog begins to rapidly roll in seemingly from nowhere and at once your vision deteriorates. Through the thick clouds, you call out to someone — anyone, yet no one heeds your call. Instead, a haunting melody echoes around you, an otherworldly eerie requiem of sorrow that lurches your heart. You can’t control your sobbing, the tears flood from your eyes like waterfalls and your gut wrenches as the song grows closer and louder. Now, you can see the crew — some crashing into each other, some gasping for air, some crying uncontrollably and some screaming. They wail, they beg for the reaper to take them. And still you’re crying, weeping as you navigate through the mist to find the Captain. It’s futile, the density of the fog proving to be too much. Below you, the ship screams in agony; wood snapping and metal clanging and you feel the hull you peacefully watched not long ago be torn apart. There’s nothing you can do; you are at the mercy of the sea now and you simply pray. Pray that somehow you might survive and return to your family and friends unscatched.
The darkness steals that dream.
*************
You aren’t sure how long you’ve been out. A minute? A day? Time eludes you. You blink your eyes, squinting to adjust to your new surroundings and you’re taken aback. The room is extravagant, home to a four poster bed that almost takes up the entire space. On the walls are antiquated paintings, fitted with threads of golden embellishments that glint and sparkle. Below them, lies an immaculately tidy, pure white vanity table — adorned with opulent gems and jewels and a full oval mirror. Wherever you were, the host did not spare the details of your accommodation.
You decide to investigate, rummaging through drawers and cabinets to find someclue to your whereabouts. As you approach the door to the room, the faint smell of dew tickles your nose and it reminds you that your clothes are damp. Or, they’re supposed to be. When you look down, you’re surprised to find your attire to be drastically different; a long, pearl nightdress drapes over your figure. Now you’re panic stricken, knowing someone had changed your clothing coupled with the ignorance of your whereabouts proving too much for you.
Right as you’re about to beseech for aid, you hear it; the same chilling verses from the ship, echoing throughout the halls of wherever you are. Curiosity gets the better of you, your fingers twist the golden doorknob and you venture outside the confines of the room; warily following the music to its source. Through winding corridors and narrow passages until finally you find it.
In the centre of the room sits a grand piano but your eyes merely gloss over it. Instead, they focus on the massive window that touches both the ceiling and the floors; however, it’s the view that truly catches your attention. Through the glass lies a forest inundated by the sea, the sunlight above struggles to penetrate through the dense grouping of kelp trapped in the muted expanse. It’s astonishing, it’s magical and it confirms your location in an instant. Your eyes slowly return to the piano and you finally see the fabled Prince of the Sea, fingers ghosting over the keys in his haunting composition.
Your first reaction is to panic, your eyes dart around the room in search of somewhere to run, somewhere to hideas your face turns a chalky white, drained of all life. Your eyes blur as tears begin to gush from them and fear tugs at your soul. You’re too young to die, there’s so much you haven’t done. The faces of your friends, of your family flash in spectacular colours in your mind as your legs give way beneath you and you fall to your knees in anguish.
“Please, do not be afraid.” A voice, so soft and gentle it rips you from the maddened terror momentarily. Of course, it could only belong to him; such a melodic tone from such a frightening being; it doesn’t make sense in your head. “You’re safe.”
“Safe?” You repeat, wiping the tears from your eyes and finally meeting his gaze; glacial blue eyes that peer into the darkest reaches of your soul yet the warmest smile you’d ever laid eyes upon. His golden hair is flattened against his cheeks, wet as though fresh from the rain. “You’re not going to hurt me?”
“Hurt you?” His brow furrows and he genuinely sounds offended, enough so to manifest some guilt within yourself. “You have given me no reason to.”
The guilt dissipates and fear creeps back up your throat. “Ah,” is all you can choke out,afraid that you mayjust give him a reason. Still, he is ever smiling and even offers a hand to help you up from the ground. Warily, you accept the gesture.
“Hyunjin,” he says as he helps you up, “And you are?”
“Y/n,” you reply, dusting off your knees. “But you’renotjustHyunjin, are you?”
To this, Hyunjin chuckles darkly; striding back over to the great piano and perching himself neatly on the seat. When you don’t move, he beckons you by patting the empty space next to him. Again, you are cautious yet you move swiftly to avoid conflict. “Only those who know me call me by my name,” he says, beginning to coax yet another melody from the instrument, “Others know me as—”
“Prince of the Sea,” you finish his sentence, eyes never wavering from the piano keys. “My Father used to tell tales of you when I was young.”
“And you’re not afraid?” Hyunjin asks with faux curiosity, “How very brave. Or terribly foolish.”
You dare not answer, opting instead to listen to the music that Hyunjin plays so eloquently. For a moment, you both bask in the sombre song; sharing an odd kinship. Hyunjin plays from his soul, the chords reaching deep down into his core and manifesting in an elegy of desperation; of sweet sadness. It feels strangely humbling to hear.
“You are a good listener,” he says when your eyes gently close and you begin humming to the melody, “A trait to be desired.”
Perhaps he’s correct. Or perhaps civility is a mask for fear.
********
Time seems to stand still in the palace; since sunlight cannot breach the murky waters, you aren’t sure how many days it’s been since you first arrived in Hyunjin’s domain. For the few hours after your first meeting, you wandered the empty corridors through twists and turns, leaving no stone unturned in this abyssal abode. One particular dark room, stowed deep in the sub reaches intrigued you so, however a lock kept it safe from prying eyes. In the meantime, Hyunjin has been perfectly pleasant towards you, making sure you are eating and drinking well and presenting you with many gifts — knick knacks of sorts, clothing and jewels that even a Queen would envy. You’re acutely aware, of course, just whyhe’s being so kind to you — the stories say as much. You have no intention of staying, your primary goal is to free yourself from his shackles and get back to your friends and family.
It’s one particular day (or at least you thinkit’s day) where Hyunjin requests you wear a very specific dress; one of scarlet velvet and trimmed with obsidian lace. Of course, you comply — fear holds its grip on you tightly and you worry that failure to do so would result in your early expiration. You meet him in an ample room with similar floor to ceiling windows as the great hall, only this room is littered with various sheets, splattered with a rainbow of colours and containers filled to the brim with glossy paint. In the centre of the room, Hyunjin sits patiently across from a black chaise; a worn apron protecting his attire.
“Wow,” he says, head leaning on a hand as he watches you approach, “You look absolutely beautiful.”
It takes you aback and you’re unsure how to respond; losing your composure for just a moment, your cheeks burning almost as bright as your gown. “Thanks,” you say simply with a small bow just in case before setting yourself atop the cushions. “You’re an artist?”
Hyunjin hums an affirmation, busying himself with architecting his easel and perching a pure white canvas atop it, nodding at a small collection of brushes at his side. “You could say that.”
“And your subject?” You ask warily.
“Sits before me,” he smiles, studying you with the eye of a true virtuoso. “Relax, Y/n. It takes time, you don’t want to be uncomfortable, do you?”
No, you do not.
So you sit there, still and quiet while Hyunjin’s keen eye captures your essence; his brushstrokes are as graceful and delicate as he is — they bewitch you into a trance. Your eyes gently close and you slip slowly into slumber only to be awoken by a gentle glissando. When your eyes flutter open and are met with a hydrous lyre floating gingerly in the air next to Hyunjin, you gasp.
“My apologies,” he says, eyes sternly focusing on the painting, “I did not mean to wake you, only to amuse myself with some music.”
“No, it’s alright,” you reply, now very aware of the silence between you. There’s part of you that wants to get to know him, to know this mythical being that stories were passed down from generation to generation. Someone of that calibre must have lived a riveting life. Though to ask such questions out of the blue would be morbidly rude. “You’re a very capable man,” you hope to ignite some conversation, “A painter, a conjurer, a songster and a musician.”
“And yet, my social skills are severely lacking.”
You laugh, truly, and it shocks you. “A comedian too?”
Hyunjin joins you in laughter, chuckling as he continues darting his eyes between you and the canvas. “Truthfully though, I simply have a lot of time on my hands to learn new crafts,” he says once the laughter quietens, “Art, music, languages, literature; trivial pastimes to distract the mind.”
“How profound.”
“So it is true that if you brand yourself an artist people will naturally attach more meaning to the things you say.”
You shake your head as he jests, “Your words dohave meaning, the stories and songs tell of your loneliness.”
To this, Hyunjin gives a poignant smile.
“I’ve learned every instrument, read every book in my library and speak every language that piques my interest and still, there is a vast emptiness inside me.”
Intense, but you’re glad to finally be addressing the elephant in the room. A sense of sadness falls about Hyunjin, one you hadn’t seen since arriving. He shifts uncomfortably in his chair.
“I understand,” you begin, edging to the end of the chair and clasping your hands neatly in your lap, “Loneliness can be all consuming, especially when it’s born from losing a loved one.”
Hyunjin regards your comment with yet another pitiful smile. “True indeed, sometimes it feels as though my memories are more alive than I.”
The open honesty tugs at the strings of your heart; your compassion is immense and you have the impulse to lunge forward and cradle him in your arms. Hearing stories of his loss, details lost in transference, is one thing; to look him in the eye as his heart pours open for you is another. You’re at a loss for words, solemnly watching as Hyunjin continues his painting.
“Forgive me, I’ve made you uncomfortable.”
“No, not at all.” He can tell you’re lying.
The conversation comes to a natural stop as you assume the original position for the portrait. Hyunjin quietly hums along to the music as he works, occasionally flipping his blonde locks from his eyes. Briefly, you forget the circumstances of your arrangement; right now you are simply two beings sharing an unspoken moment.
“Are you excited to see the finished work?” He asks, eyeing you over the canvas, “It’s almost finished.”
“Yes, of course,” you reply, “Although, I’m not entirely sure if I have the look for it.”
This stops him dead in his tracks, his head lops to the side and he eyes you curiously. “What do you mean?”
“Just that paintings are for the rich and the beautiful,” yousay and Hyunjin scoffs.
“My dear, beautyis in the eye of the beholder.”
You blink, unsure of what to say.
“Come, see for yourself how others see you.”
And so you do, moving swiftly behind Hyunjin and peering over his shoulder to admire his work. Before you, there is someone who resembles you, yet the features you are most self conscious about seem to harmonise. It’s mind boggling and you look down to Hyunjin in disbelief.
“This…doesn’t feel like me.”
“Because your perception is warped. You see only what is reflected in glass or water.”
Now, Hyunjin turns to face you and you’re eminently aware of just how close the two of you are. It’s the first time that you’ve been so intimate with him and you curse your heart for pounding so much in your chest.
“You do not see yourself mid laughter or when you have your nose buried in a book,” he continues; eyes locking with yours as he raises his hand, cupping your cheek gently. “Those moments are where true beauty lies.”
How you are so captivated by your captor bewilders you, yet his words penetrate your soul; every inch of your body feels as though it’s set aflame. When you are ever silent, he laughs and retreats his hand.
“Forgive me again if I’ve made you uncomfortable.”
“No, not at all.”
And you truly meant it this time.
*****************
The next week or so, Hyunjin’s gift giving becomes more frequent; every day you awaken to some form of gift at the edge of your bed, delivered by your own nautical magpie. Never have you been gifted so heavily, you begin to think your thank you’s are losing their meaning. Not only have you been bombarded with gifts, but each time you pass each other by as you explore or as he seats you at the dinner table; there is a veil of passion between you. Neither party acknowledges the faint tinge of desire but both feel it coursing through their veins. You do not yet understand it but you feel drawn to him like a sailor to the open sea.
Hyunjin had been leaving you alone most of the time, to your surprising dismay; allowing you freedom to spend time in the multitude of recreational rooms that filled the halls. Your most favourite of all being the library where Hyunjin’s vast collection of tomes rivals even the most learned academics in the city.
“You can read anything here, provided you speak the language.” Hyunjin had told you with a wink.
“And if I don’t, perhaps you wouldn’t mind teaching me.” You had replied.
And so he did. Huddled around a cramped desk, stacked to the heavens with literature and poems in romantic languages some of which you hadn’t even heard of. When you make a mistake, he laughs hard and it’s so therapeutic to hear. When you’re correct, he beams with pride and gently squeezes your hand. Another fleeting moment passes in which you are simply two people; two strangers becoming acquainted.
Once dinner time approaches, he leads you to the dining room and seats you directly next to him; this was new to you. Previously you’d been across from him and nothing more — your heart begins to pound in your chest.
“You know,” you say as you sit, “I’ve never seen a single person other than us here, who is cooking the food?”
Hyunjin chuckles, taking his own seat after tucking yours in, “You only thought to ask this now?” When you nod he shrugs, “I have an imp pet who takes care of it.”
You have no idea if he’s joking or not but the time to question him passes as he begins to eat; encouraging you to do the same. You would love to eat, really, but your heart is lodged in your throat and the feeling only worsens as Hyunjin takes your hand in his.
“Having you here has been wonderful,” he says, out of the blue and you can’t help but blush, “it’s been a long time since i’ve been this happy.”
“I’m glad I can help,” you reply, truthfully you don’t really know what to say.
The two of you finish your food, hands tied together the entire time and once your fork is placed neatly beside the plate, Hyunjin pulls you to your feet.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
Soon enough, you’re met with the familiar view of the closed off room you found the first day you arrived and you look at Hyunjin with curiosity. From his shirt pocket he pulls a tiny key before twisting it into the lock and springing the door open; what you find inside is unlike anything you’ve ever seen.
Glass replaces the concrete walls of the room, it’s like stepping into the open ocean yet breathing air. Sunlight pours in brilliant beams, illuminating the multi coloured coral reef that borders the underwater palace. Marine life is rife here, various schools of fish swirl in perfect synchrony, leaving a glimmering trail in their wake. You gape at Hyunjin before running off to get a better view.
“This is incredible,” you marvel, hands pressed against the glass, “It’s beautiful.”
“Yes, it is.”
Hyunjin joins you, wrapping a hand around your waist; it catches you off guard and you spin to face him. Now, you can see him so clearly; bathed in the light of the sun, his eyes shine and his flaxen hair frames his features so perfectly. Briefly, you blink absently.
“Y/n,” he speaks low, maintaining eye contact and when you try to avert your gaze, his hand cups your cheek and reels you right back in. There’s a serene silence between you as he brushes the stray hairs from your face, taking in all of you. It’s when his lips press against your own that you lose all inhibitions, letting his tongue explore your mouth as his hands pull you closer by the waist. You cannot escape this primal need to be closer to him, to let your arms sling around his neck and allow yourself to be held; to melt into him.
One kiss is all it takes for you to tumble into bed with him. Hyunjin takes it slow with you, though you are unsure whether it’s so he can greedily savour every second or to provide you with comfort. Not that it matters when he’s making you feel so good. You lose yourself, submitting fully to him; letting yourself reach highs you never thought existed. When you’re spent, lying flush against him and panting, he cradles you in his arms and smothers the top of your head in tiny kisses.
“It might come as a shock to you,” Hyunjin muses aloud, eyes looking anywhere but you, “but I think I may have found my missing piece.”
To this, you glance up at him and laugh at the sight of his usually pale face burning beetroot, “What do you mean?”
“It means you complete me and I believe I am in love with you.”
Whoa.
Before you even begin to formulate a reply, Hyunjin butts in.
“Don’t worry, you don’t have to reciprocate it just yet,” he says, now looking down at you, “I just wanted you to know.”
You truly are at a loss for words, it feels far too soon for your liking for him to be devoting himself to you yet you are blinded by the rose tinted glasses. Without answering, you nuzzle in the crook of his arm and allow yourself to be coaxed into slumber by Hyunjin absently playing with your hair as you drift into a rest filled with fantastical dreams of what could be.
Reality can never really compare with dreams.
The next morning you return to the glass room and gaze upon the bustling ocean life with childlike wonder, feeling fortunate that you get to view the sea life in a way no other mortal had. You follow the fish, counting every species you see and recognise. It’s not long until Hyunjin finds you and sits neatly on the floor by your side.
“You seem to like this place a lot.” he observes, leaning back on two hands to get a better view of you.
“It’s like a different world down here.” You reply, watching with awe as the fish scatter when what looks like a transparent shark passes through the reef. Strange. It’s only upon closer inspection that you realise it’s not a shark but the aquatic outline of a…person?
“Hyunjin,” you grab his attention by pulling on his sleeve and pointing at the figure, “What isthat?”
Hyunjin barely gives a glance before answering.
“They are but wisps in the ocean, nothing to concern yourself with.”
You are unconvinced by his answer but dare not pry more. Instead, you lift yourself up and get as close to the glass as you possibly can to get a better view of the ghostly figure. As you approach the glass, a muted chorus of song can be heard as the figure drifts in and out of view.
“Hyunjin.” you say again, only this time much more stern. When a second figure joins the first and loops in the water, it almost crashes into the glass and your eyes widen in horror. “Is that a woman?”
Hyunjin remains ever silent as your eyes follow the ghostly woman as she sings, her song sending familiar chills down your spine. You turn to him, eyes filled with fear. “What…what is this?”
Hyunjin sighs.
“Sirens,” he says simply as though it were obvious. “They’re Sirens.”
Everything begins to fall into place, the jewels and gems gifted to you, the dresses that were so beautiful…
“Y/n,” Hyunjin is standing now, towering over you with his eyebrows furrowed. “Let me explain.”
You gape at him, words slip from your mind as you try to comprehend the gravity of what he has done.
“You did this?” You can’t hide the disbelief, it encompasses you.
Hyunjin hangs his head in shame, too afraid to look you in the eyes.
“Tell me the truth,” you squeak, beginning to back away slowly.
“They ran from me,” he begins through gritted teeth, “As though I was their worst nightmare incarnate. So I…tore their undeserving beauty from them.”
You cannot believe what you are hearing. “You cursed them?”
He gives a solemn nod.
“They will live a life of eternal yearning; an unquenchable thirst for lust that no one man can ever satisfy. That is what they deserve.”
“Is this the fate that awaits me?” You ask, a lump forming in your throat, “A siren lost to the tides?”
Hyunjin ponders the thought for a moment too long before shaking his head. “You were the first not to run. You are the first I’ve truly felt for.”
Although his plea sounds truthful, you cannot bear to look at him. “You could have let them go,” you say in barely a whisper. “Why didn’t you let them go?”
Hyunjin does not answer, for he cannot.
“I…I would like to leave.”
The silence is deafening. Every minute that passes where Hyunjin does not speak is a minute closer to your demise: you truly fear for your life.
“Then, you may go.”
What?
You almost break your neck to look at him; his eyes are reddened with tears.
“You…you’re serious?” you ask in disbelief.
“If you love someone, you let them go. I cannot keep you here against your will.”
You can feel the pain in his voice, like his heart had been ripped from his chest.
“Then, let me go.”
Briefly, he pauses and you fear that he has reconsidered but the fear is washed away with the tide as he beckons you to follow him. He dares not reach for your hand as he usually would.
The walk to the great hall feels like an eternity, with Hyunjin’s despondency bearing a heavy weight on your soul. Once you arrive, he stands firmly in place and gnaws on his bottom lip.
“I can take you home,” he finally says, “That is what you want, yes?”
The glimmer of hope that you will change your mind still faintly burns so when you nod your head, it crushes him. With a heaving sigh, he reaches around his neck and fiddles with a necklace of some sort before taking your hand in his own and passing it to you.
“Take this. If you ever change your mind, open it and I will find you.”
“A locket?” You say upon closer inspection, the brassy heart is adorned with threads of gold. “But this is precious to you.”
He bows his head, “Look after my heart, won’t you?”
Then, darkness consumes you.
*********
When you awaken, you find yourself somewhere in the sea on a rickety old ship just as before; except this time you’re bed ridden. You have no idea whose ship you’re on or how long you’ve been there, so you arise and make an attempt to seek out someone to explain your situation. As soon as you stand up, a splitting migraine assaults your mind — it’s piercing and you fall back onto the bed. With a hiss of pain, you throw your head back onto the pillow.
Had it been a dream? Surely not.
With haste you reach for the locket Hyunjin had gave you to find it missing. No…it simply couldn’t have been a fever dream — you refuse to believe it.
The sky screams in anguish as rain lashes down on the upper decks and you try to speak to any of the crewmen who are busying themselves with attending to the ship. Not one of them acknowledges you — typical. It’s by chance that you see one of the men dangling a chain from his hand, boasting to a friend that he’d won it in a card game only the day before.
“Excuse me, sir,” your attempt at being courteous is pathetic as your patience wanes, “That necklace belongs to me.“
“Says who?” He snarls, looking you up and down.
“Says me,” you reply haughtily, snatching the necklace from his grubby hands.
As soon as the brass touches your skin, your body is set aflame; memories of Hyunjin wash over you like a tsunami — his touch, his taste, his smell. You’re flooded with emotion, drowning in the sweet sadness that fills your heart and you mourn the spark in the ocean, doused as it ignites.
“Bloody bad luck to have a woman on board,” the thief sailor spits as you loop the locket around your neck, twirling the golden heart in your fingers.
Inspired by Kingdom dance from the Tangled Movie ! Do listen to it while you read <3
This was all your fault.
Having no sense of time permanence and the need to get every detail perfect had driven you to shut yourself up in one of the many dance studios in the Arts building, huffing and puffing and cursing at yourself for being a lazy perfectionist.
It was almost 2 a.m, but here you were, fixing the light skirt around your leotard and leggings as you took the short break your knees were begging you for.
This project was one you had begged your department’s Dean for- the opportunity to choreograph and lead the annual showcase. You needed it to be perfect, exquisite, unforgettable.
So you would suck up the pain and sleeplessness, you would bug that gorgeous senior Yunho into giving you tutorials on how to choreograph for groups, you would spend all your time thinking and visualizing and planning and dancing and perfecting until it was just right-
“Oh. Hey.”
Your train of thought sputtered to a stop when you heard the sound, turning to see Hyunjin standing at the door, dark hair and dark clothes.
“What are you doing here?”
The question ( albeit slightly rude) escaped your mouth before you could control it.
“I didn’t know where else to go.”
That’s when you noticed the dark bags under your best friend’s eyes, his jet-black hair limp and falling gracelessly around his face. His shoulders were slumped under his hoodie, his normally graceful frame suddenly looking small, almost like he was folding into himself.
It was a bad night.
The kind of night Hyunjin liked to slip into an empty studio and dance his anxiety away, letting the precision of his movements carry his pains away.
The sight nearly made you tear up.
How had you not noticed how tired Hyunjin had been looking lately?
Were you seriously that focused on one of your own projects that you forgot about the people that mattered the most to you?
Nothing was more important to you than Hyunjin- your childhood best friend, your soulmate, your partner from the beginning till forever. He was the reason you even found your love for dance- and here you were, disregarding him for god knows how long, all because you were trash at managing your time.
What kind of a best friend were you?
Suddenly, the annual showcase didn’t matter. All you wanted was to see your best friend’s lovely smile stretch over his lips,see his eyes scrunch in that endearing way they always did, see his dramatic reenactments and faux cringe away from him.
The studio had settled into silence as Hyunjin slid to the floor next to a corner of the walls and mirror, presumably setting up his own playlist or stretching.
Your feet moved to the bluetooth stereo system before your mind could catch up. Whether you realized it or not, you knew exactly what to do. The opening strains of the music instantly warmed your body- you didn’t realize you felt cold and empty until the melody filled the void in you with warm, buttery sunlight.
Your limbs sang with the need to jump into an easy dance as you made your way to Hyunjin, who was yet to notice you or the music building around the studio.
“Dance with me!” You grinned, reaching a hand out to Hyunjin where he sat on the wood floor, fixing his shoelace.You had missed this piece, you realized, letting yourself listen to the familiar music. You and Hyunjin had spent late studio nights like this twirling each other around the hardwood floor until you were out of breath but irrevocably exhilarated. Hyunjin looked down at your outstretched hand, then at you, his head cocked as he listened to the music, feeling the energy, the familiarity-
And you had grabbed his hand and hauled him to his feet, sweeping him into a messy hop-twirl-waltz around the studio. An incredulous laugh escaped Hyunjin as he caught his footing, barely able to keep up with you- but the only sound that escaped you was one of pure joy.
The music swelled and wrapped around the both of you as Hyunjin twined an arm around your waist to stabilize the both of you, a grin finally breaking out across his face. The music was like joy trapped in a sound, the building, soaring rhythm and beats needing no effort to follow- it was like the tune urged the both of you to move to the music, pushing you to truly feel the glorious thrill in the notes.
“TWIRL!” You yelled, but Hyunjin only laughed at you before releasing his grip on your waist to let you twirl out and away from him. A gleeful laugh escaped you as your skirt flew up around your body, the sheer ease and flow of every movement suddenly feeling so normal, so familiar to you.
Not seconds later, you were twirled back to Hyunjin , but this time he was the one leading the messy waltz as the music reached its peak, the air light and bright with your joint laughter and the delightful harmony.
And for those glorious seconds, all was good with the world- it was just you and Hyunjin in each other’s arms, dancing the night away and everything felt like it was perfectly as it should be.
As the music began, so it must end- and it did, with the both of you collapsing onto each other in a fit of giddy laughter, clinging to each other as you slid to the floor.
As the giggles trailed off, you swatted at Hyunjin’s chest.
“I’m sorry I spent the last few days disregarding you.”
Hyunjin’s smile was like the sunrise after a dreary night, much like the music that the both of you had come to love.
“Hey, we have forever together, what’s a few days?”
Requests are open for this collection (For Stray Kids and Ateez), so do check out the Masterlist for the prompts and rules! Love, Elliana.
⤜ Summary: You had dreams just like everyone else did. But what if they were different? What if they came real?
⤜ Warnings: Mentions of blood, murder, major character death (maybe)
⤜ wc: 0.9 K
⤜ A/N: First chapter… i hope it’s good enough >_<
You glanced over at your watch as you opened the door to your apartment. 9:00 pm. Today was especially tiring because you had to stay back at the academy for extra hours and help with the graduation day preparations. Being part of the cultural club sure wasn’t an easy job.
“Hyunjin! Are you home?” you called out to Hyunjin, your significant other who had recently moved into your house. But, no one responded. The house was strangely quiet but you were sure Hyunjin was home because you saw his shoes lying at the front door. Something felt off as if something bad was about to happen.
“Y/N! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” Hyunjin popped out from behind you, almost scaring you, holding a cake in his hands. His smile was brighter than the stars in the sky and that seemed to comfort you. You couldn’t believe the ridiculous thoughts that you were having just a moment ago. It was just Hyunjin being sneaky.
“Let’s cut the cake shall we?” he asked, placing the cake on the table. You nodded in agreement. Just as you were about to blow out the candles, someone knocked at the door. Who could it be at this hour? you thought.
“I’ll get the door. Don’t blow out your candles!” Hyunjin rushed towards the door. Upon opening the door, he saw a tall man dressed in black. He looked rather intimidating.
“Yes?” Hyunjin asked the man.
“I am looking for Y/N. Y/N Lee.” he said.
“What for?” Hyunjin felt something suspicious about this man. Why would anyone come at this hour looking for Y/N?
What was taking him so long? you thought. The icing of the cake had already started to melt.
Suddenly, you felt it again. The silence. This ominous silence. So you decided to take a look, to ensure nothing was wrong and to ease your racing heart
You quietly walked towards the door. You heard the door click. “Hyunjin, who was-”
A sense of horror washed over you as you saw what was before you. Hyunjin. It was Hyunjin. He was on the floor and his shirt was stained with blood. Was… was it his blood? No, it couldn’t be.
You moved towards Hyunjin. Your legs began to feel weak and you flopped to the floor, beside Hyunjin.
“Hy- hyunjin?” you called out to him softly as you moved your shaking hands over to the blood drenched spot. It was his. Hyunjin had been stabbed. You tried to stop the blood flow by placing your hand over the wound. But, you could slowly feel his life ebbing away. Wha-what were you supposed to do? The person you loved was dying in front of you yet, you didn’t know what to do. Tears began filling your eyes as you stared at Hyunjin’s lifeless body.
Why would anyone do that? You couldn’t think straight, but you had to call the police. You quickly got up and grabbed your phone and a scarf. You tied the scarf around Hyunjin’s wound. But that was not enough to stop the crimson red liquid from flowing out.
Just as you were dialling the number you heard a voice. It startled you and caused you to look up.
“Y/N Lee. Here you are. You should’ve shown up earlier, then you would’ve been able to see how I mercilessly stabbed this kid.” a man said with a menacing look in his eyes. “Wh- who?..” your voice trailed off, had he been here all this time? You thought.
You didn’t know who this man was, how he knew you or what he wanted. But… Why did he have to do this to Hyunjin?
“Well then, goodbye Miss Lee. I will come looking for you again.” the man smirked, as he walked out of the house.
“Y/N! Y/N?! Y/N!” you jolted from your sleep, gasping for breath.
“Your expression didn’t seem so good, so I woke you up. I’m sorry if I startled you Y/N.” Hyunjin said, sitting beside your bed.
You slowly sat up leaning against the bedhead. “Yeah… I just had a bad dream.”
“Well I know just the remedy for bad dreams! Let me make you a warm cup of coffee, just the way you like it!” Hyunjin smiled and ran off to the kitchen like a little kid. You giggled looking at Hyunjin’s adorable behaviour.
So it was a dream after all, you thought. But what that man said kept playing in your head. You couldn’t stop thinking about it. Everything felt so vivid and… real. It was exhausting.
Everyone in this world had secrets. Some people shared their secrets with others and some took it to their grave. But your secret was a tiny bit different from others. You had dreams. You had dreams. Dreams that would come true in one way or another. Sometimes the dreams were blissful, but sometimes it was about deaths.
At some point of time you began thinking these deaths were your fault because you never tried to stop them. But even if you did, they would happen. Nothing could stop them.
⤜ Summary: You had dreams just like everyone else did. But what if they were different? What if they came real?
⤜ Warnings: Mentions of blood, murder, major character death (maybe)
⤜ Total word count: 1K and counting
⤜ A/N: Okay so this is a series… and it’s my 2nd fic. I will be happy to hear your opinions/ criticisms about it. Hope u guys enjoy it. ps I might drop it >_<
Genre: fluff, neighbors au, enemies to lovers (kind of)
Summary: Your mom doesn’t know how to stop playing matchmaker, but all you really want is to find something that feels like home.
Word Count: 7.5k
Warnings: Reader has anxiety, mentions of past abuse, mention of drinking (reader is of age), reader’s mom is too involved in reader’s love life
A/N: A little birthday gift for Hyunjin. It’s not my best work, but I really enjoy it and hopefully you all will too
This fanfiction and header are property of @/hobi-is-golden. reposting on any platform without explicit permission is prohibited
Summer break; A solace like none other. As much as you loved your major, and all of the friends you’d made while away at college, you always yearned to return home. You were close with your family, and you always loved seeing your friends again. You were a sentimental person, finding things that touched you deeply and holding onto them like they were treasures to be collected and admired.
There was something about being in your own city, the safety within those four walls of your childhood home. Nothing compared. That feeling in the pit of your stomach and the deepest depths of your chest when you were home was something that you sought out everywhere you went, in every person you met. And no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t find it. So at the end of the day, it felt good returning home.
You were giddy when you pulled up to your house, turning off your car and deciding to gather as many of your bags as possible in one trip. Not fumbling and dropping your keys was going to be difficult, managing to unlock the door would probably be even more difficult. Your parents knew you were coming home, but your mom had a habit of forgetting to unlock the door, and of losing track of time, so you’d be more surprised if the door had already been unlocked for you.
You cursed under your breath as one of your bags slipped from your fingers, followed by your keys clattering to the pavement. You heaved a sigh, crouching down to pick them up again. After a moment of digging through the bag, you found that you were less frustrated with your clumsiness and more grateful that nothing fragile had been in the bag you’d dropped.
This was, you reluctantly admitted out loud and to nobody in particular, your own fault. You’d packed all your things to bring in one go instead of shipping some of it ahead. Not to mention your stubborn personality that was insisting you only make one trip.
“Hey, need a hand?” A voice asked from behind you. It sounded far enough away to reassure you that you weren’t about to be kidnapped before you could look your captor in the eye. You spun around to confront the owner of the voice, miraculously managing to keep a hold of everything that you’d precariously balanced in your arms.
“I’m fine. Um, thanks though.” You let out a nervous laugh. The guy that stood at the end of your drive was disarmingly handsome; dark hair framing his face – a very pretty face at that – and his lips were curled into a wide smile. His lips looked soft, and smooth, and plump enough that you almost considered being jealous.
“Are you sure? I can unlock the door or something.” He moved closer, and as he walked you noticed his lithe figure. He carried himself with grace and power, a strange mix that simply screamed ‘look at me’. So you did.
Yeah, definitely handsome.
“No, it’s okay. I got it all into the car. Getting it out is just…” You put the bags you were holding on the ground, pulling out another from the trunk. “Not as easy as expected.”
He laughed, a musical giggle that coaxed a smile onto your face. He picked up the bags off the ground and took your keys from your hand. You protested, but he was already walking away from you towards the front door.
“I’m Hyunjin, by the way.” He told you as you hurried to grab the rest of your things and slammed the trunk shut. You caught up with a bit of effort as he was unlocking the door and opening it for you. “Your parents said you were coming home this week.”
“You know my parents?” You asked, stepping inside and putting your bags down. You flexed your wrists afterwards. Damn, what did you even pack that was that heavy?
“Yeah,” He put the last couple of bags down with the others, then closed the door behind the two of you. For a moment you were struck by the fact that you had just allowed a strange man into your house. But he’d been nothing but kind, if a little overzealous. “I moved in next door with my friend. Your parents sort of took us in. They’re really great.”
Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, probably some typos idk
Summary: Felix finds out why you’re always so sleepy around him
a/n: a short blurb to hopefully help you sleep <3
Felix smiles down at you, eyes scanning over your sleeping figure with nothing but fondness. You’d had a rough week and had come over to spend the weekend with him and the rest of the members at the dorm at his invitation. As usual, the nine of you had ordered slightly too much take-out and binged slightly too many episodes of the show you were all watching together.
That was half an hour ago - after talking for a bit, you’d left your spot on the floor in favor of curling against your boyfriend’s side, letting your head tip onto his shoulder and your eyes fall closed. You’d drifted off to sleep after a bit, and Felix couldn’t help but let his mind drift to the other times you’d let yourself fall asleep around him. On the bus, on your couch after a long day, in practice rooms after staying up with him to give feedback on routines. He loved it, of course, but it did leave him wondering - why were you so often sleepy around him?
He turns to Hyunjin, who sits on the other side of the sofa, and outright asks him, watching his volume level to preserve your slumber. His friend tilts his head in thought for a moment, then nods.
“I saw something online that said if you feel safe around someone, your body lets you be tired around them - lets you fall asleep quickly. It’s probably that,” he answers with a shrug, getting up to go help Changbin with the dishes, leaving Felix a speechless, melting mess.
Your boyfriend stares down at you again, warmth exploding in his chest. You felt safe around him? The thought brings a smile to his lips, which he presses to your forehead in a feather-light kiss, wrapping an arm around you when you press closer to him.
He freezes. Your breath catches in your throat as he turns to face you once more, eyes wide.
“What?”
“I know it’s too late,” you admit, sighing. He shakes his head slowly. “But if you could just forgive me- no, you don’t have to do that, you don’t need to, but I’m not going to let you slip away this easily, I-” your words die in your throat as he quickly closes the gap between the two of you, takes your face in his hands, and presses his lips to yours.
You melt into his arms as they circle around you, pulling you to him with a firmness that, if it were from anyone else, would scare you. But this is Chris. This is comfortable, this is familiar. This is him.
“I love you,” he murmurs when the two of you pull apart, faces remaining centimeters apart. He runs a hand over your hair. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m so sorry.” You start to cry in earnest, tears soaking the front of his shirt as you bury your face in his chest. He doesn’t say anything, just holds you to him with a tenderness that makes you sob even harder. “I’m so sorry,” he repeats, rocking the two of you slowly back and forth.
He hums quietly, something he used to do over the phone when you couldn’t sleep. It’s a song you recognize, an old one from when you were kids. His mom used to sing it while she cleaned the kitchen, the two of you sat at the kitchen table doing math homework or drawing.
When you finally step back a few inches, he takes one of your hands, giving it a reassuring squeeze. You smile at him, biting the inside of your cheek.
“Can I kiss you again?” you ask tentatively, and he smiles, tilting your head up with his right thumb and forefinger. You fit your lips to his, cheeks ablaze. You take it slow, letting yourself let go of any residual worries. His breath is warm as it mingles with yours, and his lips are slightly chapped, but not rough. You bring a hand up and rest it on the side of his face, smiling against his lips as he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you to him again.
You hiss in pain as his sleeve scratches against the cut on your neck. He pulls away, concerned.
“What’s wrong?” His eyes widen when you lift a hand to the abrasion, and a couple of your fingers come back dotted with red. “Fuck, did I do that?” he asks, going to check his hands. You shake your head, sighing at yourself.
“No, it’s from earlier. I thought I got it to stop bleeding, I guess I was wrong.” When the panic on his face doesn’t go away, you lay a hand on his arm. “I’m fine, my necklace just got caught on my shirt and it cut my neck a little. I’m okay.” He nods.
“You should put something on it,” he stresses.
“You sound like my mom,” you complain as you head inside, nodding for him to come in behind you. He shuts the door behind him, laughing quietly as he follows you to the bathroom.
He nods for you to sit on the edge of the tub, pulling the first aid kit down from the shelf above the sink. You take a seat, watching as he takes out some Neosporin and a band-aid.
You scoot over so he has room to sit next to you, shivering as he pulls down the collar of your shirt and carefully cleans and covers the angry red stripe across your neck, gentle fingers ghosting over your skin.
“Thanks,” you say as he returns the first aid kit to its spot next to a jar filled with toothbrushes. He nods.
“Be careful, okay? That could’ve been worse if it was deeper.” You nod, taking the hand he offers to help you up. You stumble forward, cheeks burning as he easily catches you, your faces a breath away.
“Hi,” you say, grinning. He laughs as you regain your balance and stand up. “I know it’s, like, 3 am, but I’m not tired at all. Do you want some hot chocolate?”
“Always,” he answers, and you grin.
About a minute later, you’re standing in the kitchen, perched on your tiptoes, reaching up to grab a couple of mugs from a cabinet. Chan reaches over you, procuring the cups and placing them down in front of you.
“We get it, you had a growth spurt,” you grumble, and he laughs, wrapping his arms around you from behind for a moment before letting you go so you can make the drinks.
“Can you fill up the kettle?” you ask, and he nods, picking it up and taking it over to the sink, turning on the tap and letting the water pour into it. He hands it back to you with a smile, and you put it on the stove, turning on the burner and leaning back against the counter as you wait for the water to boil.
“So,” Chan says, standing next to you. “We should probably talk.”
“Yeah,” you agree, nodding.
“So, do you want to…” he trails off, motioning between the two of you. You nod, smiling softly at him.
“I do. I really do,” you say earnestly. “I’m not going to pretend like I’m not terrified, but I want to try.”
“What of?” he asks, and you sigh, using your palms to hoist yourself up to sit on the counter. You lean over to check the kettle before looking back at him.
“The stuff I mentioned earlier, I guess. Just things not working out.”
“You have nothing to worry about, I promise,” he reassures you, shaking his head. You open your mouth in protest, but he shakes his head again. “Even if we can’t make it work this way anymore, you’ll still be my best friend, okay? That’s never going to change,” he says, coming to stand in front of you, taking your hands in his and holding them up between the two of you, interlocking your fingers. “I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”
“Okay,” you breathe. “I won’t either.” He smiles, moving your hands from between the two of you to press his lips to your forehead. He pulls back, meeting your eyes.
“We’re good?”
“We’re good,” you say quietly, nodding. You hold out your arms, and he smiles, wrapping his around you, picking you up off the counter, and setting you down on the floor to properly hug you. You bury your face in the crook of his neck, breathing him in. He pulls you impossibly close to him, clutching at the back of your sweater like he’s afraid you’ll disappear into thin air. “You’re going to be the death of me,” you breathe, and he laughs. You smile at the sound.
“I would hope not, I really want to drink that hot chocolate.”
The two of you stay up for another hour or so, sitting on the kitchen floor, sipping your hot cocoa, and talking about what to do next.
“I’d prefer if we didn’t tell the members for a bit,” Chan says, grimacing. You tilt your head.
“Why not?”
“They’ll tease both of us mercilessly.”
“Fair point. We can wait a bit on that one,” you laugh, nodding. Chris smiles softly as he watches the corners of your eyes crinkle with laughter. He’ll never get tired of the sight.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says, making your stomach do somersaults. You set your mug down as he laughs at how flustered you are. “I’ve complimented you before, haven’t I?”
“It’s different,” you whine, burying your face in the crook of his neck. He just laughs softly, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you to him. “Chris,” you say, voice comically muffled by his sweatshirt. “I’m really tired.” As if on cue, he yawns.
“I think you might be psychic,” he teases.
“Can you spend the night?” you ask tentatively, sitting back. “I don’t feel good about you driving back this late. Also, I don’t want you to leave.”
“Sure,” he says, lifting a hand to your face and gently brushing his thumb over your cheek. “I can stay.”
“Yay,” you cheer quietly as you stand up, making him laugh. You grab the mugs the two of you used and quickly hand wash them in the sink as Chan puts away the hot chocolate mix and says hi to Bella.
When you’re done, the two of you make your way down the hall to your room, leaning on each other for support. You hadn’t quite realized how tired you were earlier, but as the adrenaline from the earlier events of tonight and the small traces of caffeine in the chocolate wear off, your exhaustion smacks you in the face. Chan’s visibly in the same predicament, barely able to keep his eyes open.
You switch on your lamp, the bulbs illuminating your room as you rummage through your closet for PJ shorts and a t-shirt. You quickly change into them as he washes his face in the bathroom.
Bella comes trotting in as he enters, and you scratch her ears as she curls up on her bed in the corner of your room. Chan flops face-first onto the mattress, star-fishing across the blankets. You laugh, shoving him over to one half and then climbing under the covers. He does the same, yawning.
“C’mere,” he says, and you laugh as he pulls you into his arms, wrapping them securely around you.
“Wait, I forgot something,” you say, leaning your head back. He tilts his head, confused.
“What did you-” you press your lips to his, and you can feel his cheeks warm.
“I’m glad you remembered,” he says as you lay your head back down, and you laugh softly.
“Hey, Chris?” you say after a while, pressing yourself closer to him.
“Hm?”
“Thank you. For not giving up on me. I’m sorry for not telling you how I was feeling about everything earlier.” You feel him smile as he tucks your head into the spot between his chin and chest.
“I don’t think I’m capable of giving up on you,” he says.
You drift off to the sound of his quiet breathing and the comforting weight of his arms around you, dreaming of sunny afternoons from years past and warm laughter that echoes through your head like a melody.
Chan lies awake until he’s sure you’re asleep, smiling when your breaths even out, the hand you’ve intertwined with one of his going limp. He knows you’ve been having trouble getting to sleep - what with finals having just ended and not knowing how you did yet, along with everything else, you’ve told him how hard it is for you to get enough rest as of late. He’s glad you’re able to get some now.
He mulls everything over as you slumber beside him, unable to tear his eyes away from your sleep-softened features. He isn’t sure that any of this is real, unable to believe that the person in his arms is finally his. After all these years, you’re his.
Andgod, is he yours. He has been since the day he met you. Yours. Always.
“You don’t have to talk to me, but I’m not giving up on you.“
a/n: sorry this update took so long! i’ve been burnt out bc of how difficult school’s been lately and it’s been hard to find writing time. tysm for being patient <3
You lay in bed for hours, nervously fidgeting with your necklace, moving the ring back and forth along the chain, fingers turning raw. The sound of Bella barking at a car pulling up across the street startles you, and you turn quickly, your necklace slicing the back of your neck.
“Shit,” you breathe, wincing. You quickly bring a hand up to check the cut, sighing when it comes away dotted with red.
You trudge to the bathroom, switching on the light. It flickers sporadically, spelling out a message you don’t care to decipher. Dampening a washcloth and pressing it against the back of your neck, you lean back against the counter, staring up at the ceiling. What a night, you think to yourself, letting out a bitter laugh.
Once the bleeding seems to stop, you retreat to your bedroom, thoughts consuming you again. You mull over what you’d said to him, knowing it wasn’t fair to either of you. It wasn’t fair of you to not try, preferring to lose him completely without even taking a risk.
He was stupid.
He was so fucking stupid.
Chan repeats the word over and over in his head as he sits upright in bed, unable to move.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
He’d said he wanted to forget everything. Forget you. He’d practically done everything but pack your bags and send you on the next flight to New York.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Sighing, he toys with the ring on his finger, a knot tying itself in his throat.
He eventually pries himself out of bed, fumbling to the bathroom in the dark and turning on the water.
Steam billows up from the showerhead as he steps inside, letting the water soak his hair and skin. He rubs his hands with his face, ring catching on his nose and leaving a small scratch in its path.
He sighs, angrily wrenching it off and watching as it slips through his fingers. It falls to the slick tiled floor of the shower with an echoed ping. He quickly picks it up, clasping it in his hand with a shaky breath.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
He turns off the water, stepping out of the shower and drying off with a towel as he slips back into his room and pulls on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He quickly discards it as he realizes it’s the one you’d borrowed a few nights previous, opting for the one he’d worn earlier today.
He sits down on the edge of his bed, opening his still-closed fist to reveal the slim metal band that rests on his palm. He sets it on the mattress next to him, burying the heels of his palms in his eyes, blocking out the pale moonlight filtering through the blinds.
Muffled sobs shake his shoulders as he doubles over, the words the both of you had spat at each other on the beach replaying over and over in his head.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
He isn’t sure how long he stays like that, but by the time he sits up, a knot has twisted itself in his neck. He checks his watch. 1:47. Sighing, he stands, grabs his keys from his dresser, and heads for the hallway. He pauses in the doorframe before turning back to grab the ring sitting on the comforter and then goes downstairs.
He grabs his shoes, pulling them on then quietly slipping outside, closing the door behind him.
He drives and drives and drives, not sure where he’s going.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
He berates himself silently as he turns down street after street, repeating the words in his head even louder when he realizes where he’s ended up.
He hops out of the car, closing the door behind him with a thud and making his way down the path into the park, letting his legs carry him to wherever they’re going. The fuck if he knows.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Moonlight ripples like silver foam across the pond, its dim rays washing the surrounding foliage in a cold, pale glow. Chan sits down on a bench by the water, pulling his legs up and crossing them under him with a sigh. He glances over to the spot you’d occupied just days ago, when none of this was as complicated as it was now, when he hadn’t ruined everything.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
He stands with a shudder as he battles with the idea developing in his head. It’s idiotic, he tells himself as he walks back. Far beyond it, in fact.
He gets into the car, putting the key into the ignition and pulling out onto the street, hands shaking as he grips the steering wheel.
If you’re awake, you might as well pack. You leave in a couple of days, and your suitcase is still a jumble of worn clothes and recently purchased books and other various items from your outing with everyone earlier today.
Sighing, you grab an extra hamper from your closet, fill it with your laundry, and take it to the mudroom, tossing the used clothes into the wash and turning on the machine before heading back to your room.
You tetris all of your books into a cardboard box, making a mental note to print out a shipping label tomorrow morning - you’ll have to mail them to your dorm, they won’t fit in your luggage. You frown as you realize that means you won’t be able to read them for a few weeks.
You hear a series of muffled sounds from the direction of the living room, passing it off as Bella knocking over the bucket of her toys in the dark. You continue folding shirts and jeans, placing them into your suitcase neatly.
The sounds repeat, and this time you realize they’re knocks - someone’s at the door.
Who the fuck is even awake right now? you think to yourself as you pad into the living room, sidestepping the folded clothes and boxes on your floor.
You open the door a sliver, eyes widening as you realize who’s standing on your porch.
“Chris…?” you manage to breathe out.
“Hey,” he says, swallowing nervously.
“What are you-” you sigh, shaking your head. “It’s two in the morning. What are you doing here?”
“I was stupid. I was so fucking stupid, Y/n, I-” he takes a deep, shuddering breath as he forces himself to meet your eyes, the familiarity in them no longer comforting. “If I could take it all back, I would. I didn’t mean what I said, I-”
“You said it, though,” you say, voice wavering.
“Y/n…”
“I can’t talk to you right now, I’m sorry,” you say, voice breaking as you shake your head and step back over the threshold.
His words die in his throat as you shut the door in his face, tears stinging his waterline.
“I’m not leaving,” he says, shaking his head firmly as he watches the shadow of your form freeze behind the frosted glass. “You don’t have to talk to me, but I’m not giving up on you.“
You pull the door open again, salty tears pricking the corners of your eyes. “I was perfectly happy to go back to being just friends,” you choke out. “But I think you made it pretty clear you don’t want to do that. I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to.” You sigh, shaking your head. “I loved you, Chris,” you force out, biting back more tears that threaten to spill down your cheeks. His face crumples. “I really, really loved you. I still do if I’m being honest with myself. But I can’t- I can’t keep letting us do this,” you say, motioning between the two of you.
“Y/n, I l-”
“No,” you cut him off, shaking your head. “Please don’t.“ Your vision blurs as more tears bead in your eyes. You sigh, blinking furiously as you look away briefly. “You were the only person in the world that made me feel safe. Made me feel at home. Even if that home looked different from time to time, even if we both thought it would have different implications at some point. But I realized that waiting for you, waiting for us, wasn’t something I could do. I was scared, okay? I was scared.” your voice breaks as you admit it. You pretend to not notice the tears starting to trickle down his face, akin to your own. “I know that’s stupid, but I was. I was terrified that I would lose you if we couldn’t make it work, or that you’d meet someone else - someone better. That they’d make you’d realize that waiting for me wasn’t- wasn’t worth it.”
Chan freezes, brows knitting together as you finally step out onto the porch to stand a few feet from him, letting the door shut behind you.
“Y/n,” he breathes. You shake your head, turning away from him, but you make no move to stop him, so he keeps going. “I didn’t mean what I said. That doesn’t make it okay, but…you deserve to know that it wasn’t true. And you also deserve to know that-” he takes a deep breath. “-that there couldn’t be anyone better than you. Ever.” You turn your head slowly, eyes softening. “If you need to let go, I understand. I won’t try to stop you. I’m sorry that I made you feel like you did, nobody deserves that, especially you. I’ll- I’ll get going.” He glances away for a moment, looking out at the neighborhood. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly, turning to leave.
“Chris, wait,” you say shakily. He looks back at you for a moment. You shake your head slowly, biting the inside of your cheek.
Deep down, you’ve always known that he’s part of you. He knows everything about you, and he’s never shied away from any of it. He’s never hesitated to let you know how much he cares about you.
He’s your best friend.
You won’t let yourself sabotage this like you usually do with things that matter to you. You’ve lost too many relationships like this. You’re sick of it. You’re sick of yourself.
But somehow, he isn’t. He isn’t sick of you. He’s always there when you need him. He’s always by your side. And that’s what you need right now.
