December 14th, 2021

Tuesday = project day. I spend my entire afternoon working on the landing gear project today. As the deadline for the project is in 9 days, we are really focussing on getting the project finished asap so we have a bit more time for the final check.

When do you buy your Christmas presents?

- As a Dutchie, (my family and) I don’t really do gifts at Christmas, as we celebrate Sinterklaas at the start of December. It’s basically the gift side of Christmas and we even do something like secret Santa.

December 13th, 2021

Yesterday my friend and I handed in our assignment and we feel pretty good about it!

Today I mostly did project work, but I found out I need the input of the stuff the others are woeking on in order to start on that. Hopefully I can finish working on that tomorrow!

What is a cherrished family tradition from your childhood?

- Instead of a Christmas dinner, my family has always done a Christmas buffet, where every one brings some home made food. Unfortunately we didn’t do it last year and won’t do it this year due to the circumstances.

What is a favorite family Christmas memory that has stuck with you through the years?

- My favorite memory is pretty much renewed every year and it’s seeing everyone together, enjoying the food and in general just seeing everyone enjoy themselves

Does your family have any odd traditions during the holidays?

- Not anything I can think of right now.

i had goals and now i am a useless brain fucked anxious kid who sob, cry, weep, shed tears, wail, bawl, snivel, grieve, mourn, tear up every hour of the day

“One day

I’ll finally be home.”

-

“LOOK UP FRIEND

SPACE IS THE PLACE”

I just have a dream

out of this world.

they call us dreamers,

but we are those that don’t sleep.

“Pretty sure Earth adopted me from stars.”

“No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.”

“Chaos is only understood when it is loved by the wild, not the weak”

“half of her beauty is her brain”

January of 2022

Studying hard for exams and playing Genshin these days. Also, preparing mentally for the next semester✨

29. 09. 2021.

This week: Phytochemistry, and making sirupus aurantii.

29. 06. 2021.

I’m finally studying for my last exam tonight.

The little coffeeshop around the corner

I love studying here. They always have a friendly admosphere and they are the perfect place to concentrat. Plus, they have the best snacks.

Coming of age is the most exhausting process I ever had to go through. I just turned 18 and now realise, that from now on I am the only one resposible for my actions. And that means that I simply cannot hide in bed when something is wrong, I have to get up and fix it. And even tho I luckly was not faced with such a situation yet, I know it will come. And I am scared because it is so new and I do not have any experince in beig forced to be the only one in control. It is new and you cannot learn it from a book. You have to experience it. And that is what I fear. The sitting around and waiting. The waiting for the first big decision I will mes up, the first time I will fail big time. And there is nothing that can prepare me for it.

Rory Gilmore

I am not a fish

I once owned a goldfish. It lived in a little fishbowl. It used to be my grandmothers. When I got it, his bowl was bare. No sand or any kind of plants. This goldfish never swam around. It stood mostly in the same place, barley existing. To me, it always seemed sad. Its world was so colorless. Nothing existed in it. The bowl was just filled with water and the fish itself. And I knew that he could see me and my flat. At the time, my rooms were filled with all kinds of things. Lamps were giving off lights in different shades, on every table was a tablecloth and on all the seats were pillows in all colors of the rainbow. Most of the time, there was music playing. I had such a lively apartment, I always felt happy when I entered it.

One evening I sat in a chair, listening to a musical peace by Mozart. In my hand was a whisky on the rocks. And on the table in front of me stood the little bowl with the goldfish. Right there, I started thinking about how this fish must feel. It is in its little bowl filled with nothing. It spends all its days watching my happy and filled life. I thought about how I would feel if it was me in that bowl watching that goldfish life my live. And honestly, none of the emotions I felt were good.

Th next day, I called in sick at work. I had a coffee and a toast for breakfast and got dressed. I left my apartment, went down the stairs and sat in my car, I took out a CD and put it in the radio of my car. Shostakovich, the second waltz. As I started driving, my fingers tapped along to the music. The destination: the zoo shop. It only took me about 15 minutes to get there. I parked and got out of my car. I strolled into the shop, looking for somebody to help me on my mission.

First, I got a bigger tank so my goldfish would have more space. Then I picked out different types of soils for said tank. Next, I went to get all types of decorations. Plants, caves, and decorative stones. I also bought the needed technology and better food for my goldfish. Lastly, I got some company for my goldfish. I thought it might be lonely. I went to the counter and paid for everything. Getting all the new stuff to my car took me a few trips for and back.

When I arrived at home, I was lucky because the parking spot before the house was free which meant I would not need to carry everything so far. So, I started unloading and carrying everything up to my appartement. Soon, I realized I had underestimated the weight of everything and when I was finished carrying everything upstairs, I was sweating.

I had a quick lunch and then got to work preparing the tank. I filled it with sand, stones, and soils. Next, I planted the different plants I had bought. I decorated and put in the little cave. Afterwards I got to work installing al the technology which was harder than it sounds. Finally, I filled the tank with water and put in the new fish. Overall, it took me 3 hours to get the tank ready for the move in of my goldfish.

Finally, I went and grabbed it and his old bowl. I talked to it, explaining what was about to happen. Then, I carefully put it into the tank to the other fish. It swam around once and then in the cave. I looked at it and thought to myself, what a shy fish it must be and that tomorrow it can start forming new friendships. Then it would finally be able to life its happy ever after.

Later that day, I took a drink and set down in my armchair. I was grabbing my book and read but took another look at my goldfish in its new home. I considered its new life and came to the realization that it was in desperate need of a name. And just like that, I decided to name it Beethoven. I did in fact not know his gender, but he anyways always felt more to be a male fish to me.

I read a little and went to bed. The next morning Beethoven still swam in his cave. I fed the fish and left for work. When I returned home, he was once again in his cave. This pattern continued and, on the weekends, I realized that Beethoven was not leaving the cave at all, not even to eat.

This did not change over the weeks, and I began to worry. I did not know what to do and so I did nothing and prayed it would get better. And sadly, one morning, I woke up and Beethoven was dead. I took him out of the tank and flashed him down the toilette.

I never expected it, but I was sad Beethoven was gone. Sitting in my armchair one evening I began thinking about why he was dead. I mean he died when I just made his life more colorful. He after all got a life just like mine, only adjusted to a fish.

He had all a fish would need and refused to take it. He did not eat or swim at all. It seemed like he was sad that I tried to better his life. It was like he wanted to stay in his tiny, empty, and depressing bowl and just be a fish. Was that what had been wrong? Did he want that life? But why? Or was it just me that thought he was not content in his old home, alone, and without a name? Is it my fault he is dead?

I sat there, in my thoughts about Beethoven’s death for hours and when I finally fell asleep it was already 3 a.m. Yet, I can recall my last thought before sleep took me extraordinarily clear: How can I assume to know how Beethoven felt? After all, I am not a fish..

POV: Dynasties