#steve imagine
Bucky : wow this parking job is about as straight as I am
Sam : I don’t know whether to address the fact that you just came out to me or that you just insulted my fucking parking
Sam : What’s it like being married to Bucky?
Steve : We both said “I do” and haven’t agreed on anything since.
Russos making Steve straight but also giving him a boyfriend over the years
Bucky : wow I feel so happy right now
Bucky :
Bucky, narrowing his eyes : something’s wrong
BLAND MARVEL HEADCANON
The rest of the team were trying to figure out what steve kept saying when he talked in his sleep, and after a while they realized he was reciting the pledge of allegiance. Every. Single. Night.
Comment if you can help me put a masterlist in my bio
CHRISTMAS TREE TROUBLE
DALLAS WINSTON X READER
❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️
“Dallas,” you said as you walked into Dally’s room at Bucks"What is that?“
"It’s our Christmas tree,” He answered.
“No, it’s not. That’s the most pathetic tree I’ve ever seen.” The tree in question barely decorated at all, and the ornaments were in the same spot. “why is the bottom of the tree decorated and not the top?”
"Shhh, you’ll hurt it’s feeling,” Dallas whispered.
“It hurts my feelings, Now can we please fix the tree and make it look like an actual Christmas tree this time.”
“No,” Dallas said, folding his arms across his chest. You knew that he made the tree look terrible just to tick you off. You could tell by the massive smirk plastered across his face.
You laughed as you put your hands on your hips. “What do you mean ‘no’?”
“I mean no. We’re not getting rid of Branchy.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Branchy? You named the tree?”
“Of course I didn’t name the tree,” Dallas said, grinning. “Two-Bit named it.”
“Well then Two-Bit can have the tree”
“Two-Bit already has a tree.” Dallas’ grin widened.
“We are not keeping the tree that way. Either you can go get the decorations and help me decorate tree, or I’ll do it myself and invite Steve and Soda to help.
"Well Soda helped us pick this one out and Steve thought it had class.”
“It’s a dead pine sapling. In what world does that have class?” You asked.
Dally shrugged. “This one, apparently. Anyways, we’re keeping the tree the way it is”
“Dal, it’s our first Christmas together. Do you really want to have that,” she pointed toward the little pine. “As our first Christmas tree?”
He smiled brightly. “Sure. It means things can only get better from here.”
You smiled and cocked your head to the side. “I hadn’t thought about it like that.”
“Also I knew it would annoy you,” Dallas was grinning widely now.
“You’re lucky I love you,” Y/N said “Fine, we can keep the tree, but I get to put the star on top” he lightly ruffled your hair chuckling “FINE. You can put the topper on the tree.”
“Cozy Nooks & Books.” (Part 2)
A/N: This took a turn okay? I didn’t known this is how this was gonna go lol tagging @kjs-s&@justmesadgirl
Stucky x BookshopOwner!Reader
Summary- Reader comforts Bucky, and then Steve then both. Plus we learn something about Steve and Bucky!
Warning(s)- talk of HYDRA memories, someone being upset?
Word Count- 1033
You stood frozen in front of Bucky’s door, Steve by your side. He knocked twice, “Buck, It’s me.”Steve said trying to maybe get him to come open the door, “Please, leave Steve.”You heard Bucky’s voice through the door. You lightly patted Steve’s side to make him move a little, he did as you asked well not really ask but who cares.
“Bucky, It’s Y/N.”You heard shuffling, then “Y/N! What are you doing here?”Bucky said from behind the door, “Steve said something was wrong, please open the door!”You pleaded. “You shouldn’t be here.”He said whispering you could tell he was right beside the door, “Well I am, so open the door Buck.”.
Finally you were faced with Bucky, his hair was all over the place, he must have been in bed all day, and his eyes looked tired. You stood there for a second then stepped forward and hugged him, you had known him for a while and he told you stuff apparently he hadn’t told Steve, so you thought it was fine. It seemed to be because he hugged you back, you knew this hug was more for him than you, it was a tight hug you were flush against him.
Steve stood watching you two, Bucky hadn’t even really gotten to the point to let Steve know about his HYDRA time. Plus he only hugged Steve. ‘You must have been something else for him to open up so fast’ he thought, he could tell you were good though from his small drive to the Tower with you, Bucky pulled away.
“Buck, what’s wrong?”You asked slowly, you nodded your head as if asking could you go in his room, he shuffled over and let you in Steve following also. You looked around the room, his bed was a mess from him probably having a nightmare and him rolling around. Bucky sat down on his bed and you followed.
He started talking, he told you about everything. It was terrible, you grabbed him flesh hand, holding it tight in your lap. After he finished you told him everything is okay that he was here with you right now, you then pulled him into a hug, he held onto you like if he let go you would disappear.
Steve watched this once again, he was shocked. Watching this, he was kinda hurt that Bucky hadn’t told him what was going on, yet he told you a stranger he’s only knew for a few months. After Bucky let you go, you still held onto his hand not letting go. You all sat in silence for about ten minutes, “I’m here, James.”You told him “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”You promised Bucky.
-Two Days Later-
It had been two days since you had to go to the Tower, after comforting Bucky you had to go home. You got out of there without any Avenger seeing you, which was surprising. You had gave Steve your number just in case he or Bucky needed you, you were super busy today, since it was a Friday. People were coming in and out, and with you being the only person working at your small Bookshop, you didn’t get any time to answer your phone when you heard it behind the counter in your bag.
Since it was five in the afternoon, you had finally gotten a break, the shop closed at six only a few people were coming in by now. You sat down in your chair beside the cash register, grabbing your phone you saw you had seven missed calls from Steve. You quickly called him, he answered on the second ring, “Y/N! I need you right now at the Tower!”Steve said so fast you barely understood him, “Why? Is something wrong with Bucky? Or you?” “Please just hurry.” Leaving you with the buzz of the phone.
You grabbed your keys and got in your car, the drive to the Tower was peaceful besides your heart beating fast, you didn’t know if Bucky was having more nightmares or if something happened to Steve. Once you made it there you parked in the garage, you were stopped by security at the front desk.
“Call Steve Rogers down here, please! I’m aloud to be here I promise.”You quickly told the older man. And that’s what he did, Steve came rushing down the stairs, “Y/N.”Was all that came out of his mouth before he crushed you into a hug, even though you had only known each other for awhile you hugged back, the guard looked at you weird ‘why was Mr. Rogers hugging you so tight, and why did you visit Mr. Barnes two days ago’ he thought to himself ‘Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes were already together, happily together’ he then just shuffled away.
“Are you okay?”You asked still in the hug, “I just…Bucky won’t talk to me again, he was fine yesterday.” “It’s gonna be okay, Steve.”Pulling him even closer, you tried your best to confront him. He seemed to relax and you both walked up to his and Bucky’s floor, there was a couch in the lounge part of the floor, so you both sat down. “Listen Steve, everything’s gonna work out, Bucky will start to open up better soon.”Steve seemed to listen closely at what you were saying, no wonder Bucky had opened up to you so fast, you seemed to know just what to say.
After that you went and say Bucky again, but this time you also sat Steve down beside you, you talked to both of them. Helped them understand that you would always be there for either one of them if they needed you. Even if you were working you would try to close the shop and come to them if they wanted to or needed to talk.
One thing was it seemed both men, both now superheroes were falling for you, yet they both were together themselves. But they still loved each other, it was like their hearts just opened up to another also, they also knew it was gonna be hard trying to tell you this.
“Cozy Nooks & Books.” (Part 1)
A/N: I’m not sure who’s gonna be the love interest yet. plus tagging @kjs-s and if anyone else wants to be tagged just tell me.
Bucky Barnes x BookshopOwner!Reader
Steve Rogers x BookshopOwner!Reader
Summary- Reader meets Bucky, then Steve shows up and well Reader learns some pretty surprising stuff
Warning(s)- talks of nightmares and HYDRA memories.
Word Count- 1057
You stood staring at the stack of books. Well no longer a stack, someone had knocked them over. You had heard a loud crash where your ‘Mystery’ books were at and went to investigate, you remembered that you had forgotten to put those new books away, having just got the shipment in last night.
“I’m so sorry, miss!”You heard Neil say, a little boy around 5 who always came in with his mom on the weekends, “It’s okay, Neil! It’s my fault for leaving them in the middle of the aisle!”You laughed then added “I should have known better, right? I mean these little aisles are barely big enough for you and your tiny!”He started laughing and so did his mom who was looking at the romance books on the other side of the small bookshelves holding the ‘Mystery’ books.
Hearing the bell above your shops door, you turned and made your way weaving through the small aisle to the cash register. “Hello!”You said greeting a rather tall man, he walked up to the counter, “Hi, ma'am. Do you have any books about uh…”He trailed off, he seemed embarrassed “What kind of book are you looking for?”You asked trying to coax him into asking you, “Any books about Steve Rogers or James Barnes?”He asked and looked down.
“Of course! That would be in the ‘history’ section!”You said and waved your hand for him to follow you, your ‘history’ section was in the back of the small shop you had. Once you finally got there you bent down and found a few books that were both about the two or just had mentions of them. You got up then grabbed the pile off the floor, you turned “This is a few of them, that most people like!”You said then “You can pick which ones you like then come up to the register!”You handed them to the man.
He put them up on the counter, he gave you back two that he didn’t seem really interested in. But the rest he had wanted, you were happy you helped him find what he was looking for, those were your ‘history’ sellers for like a year now. You rang up all four of the books, “That’ll be $20.46, sir!”You told him smiling, he handed you the exact amount. After opening the register you put the money in the right slots and handed the man his receipt.
That wasn’t the last you saw of him, he started coming in every other day. For the next few months, you had learned his name was Bucky. You then understood why he had gotten the books he had gotten the first day you saw him. But you didn’t act didn’t around him, but one problem was he hadn’t been in for five days, which was weird. But you had guessed he was away with the Avengers.
The first time you had met him was when the Avengers had finally let him live with them in the Tower. So he hadn’t went on any missions yet, the only reason you knew that was because he had opened up to you, but maybe that’s where he was you thought. Hearing the bell above your door your eyes traveled up to see the one and only Captain America.
“Hi!”You said, “You’re Y/N right? The owner?”Steve asked you, “Yes, that’s me.”You answered his question not really understanding how he knew you, maybe Bucky talked about you. “Ma’am, I need you to come with me.”He said quickly, “I don’t want to seem rude but why may I ask?”You asked him, “It’s about Bucky, it seems your the only one he will talk to now. He’s locked himself in his room and won’t come out.”The blonde said then added, “I remembered him talking about you and well please come to the Tower and talk to him?”He asked you, “Sure I guess, just let me close up?”Steve nodded and walked back out.
You grabbed your set of keys from the back and grabbed your bag, you flipped your homemade sign to ‘closed, then closed the door locking it. You turned and got in the front seat of the car Steve was driving, you thought it best just to ride with him. It was quiet the whole ride, “So how long have you known Bucky?”Steve asked you turning once the light turned green, “Uh a few months now, he’s been coming in every other day since his first time months ago.”You told him smiling at the thought.
Bucky at first just sat in the chair you had in the corner reading one of the history books, he didn’t say much until his eighth time there. Since then though you both would talk about random stuff, old memories that had finally come back, sometimes he would ramble on about stuff he thought was cool, how things had changed since the 1940s. Bad memories from his time in HYDRA, you didn’t think he would want to talk to you about it, but after so long of talking to you he told you, talked to you about it.
You were just a simple girl who loved books, yet you would set there for hours listening to Bucky talk about the most horrible time in his life. You never once made him stop talking about it, telling him that the memories were too much for you to handle, you could tell maybe he didn’t open up that much but after so long he seemed more laid back, talking about everything to you.
“You know he hasn’t talked to anyone but me, since he joined.”Steve stated then added “But I’m glad he found someone besides me to confide in. You’ve really helped him start to open up more, but I think he had a nightmare last night, well a HYDRA memory.”Steve said while pulling into the Towers garage, “Why am I here though?”You asked Steve still buckled in, “He’s talked about that time hasn’t he?”Steve asked you, you frowned “Uh what time? HYDRA time?”You whispered “Yes ma’am.” “I thought he had told most well at least you. He always talked about you!” “No, Y/N he doesn’t. Not even me.”
Pairing:Steve x Male!Reader
Summary: Can I request a Steve x Male!Reader, where its the readers birthday and Steve decides to propose to his boyfriend of 2 years in front of the team (Reader is also an Avenger)… Reader accepts the proposal because he feels pressured and is put on the spot, but when Steve and him are alone, he emotionally tells Steve he isn’t ready yet and a bunch of angsty angst goes on
A/N:When I said ‘hold my beer’, I meant it. This one got super, duper angsty. Bring the tissues. Hope it’s what you wanted - enjoy!
‘Say Yes’
“You will?” Steve asked, feeling the pit in his stomach shrink up entirely. “You’re… saying yes?”
“I– I am.”
You couldn’t seem to tear your eyes away from his, partly because the tears that brewed there held your focus, and partly because you knew every other gaze in the room was on you. If you looked up or away, you’d be met by intensity. Pressure. Judgement.
Luckily, the applause that broke out among the room silence the palpable beating of your heart. Steve got up off of his knee and embraced you, pulling your face into the crook of his neck.
“You’ve made me the happiest man on Earth,” he whispered.
You didn’t say anything back. You couldn’t.
For the next few minutes, you heard yourself be congratulated every way it was possible to do so. It took half that time for the words ‘thank you’ to exhaust themselves. Natasha, Clint, Tony, Bruce; everybody in the team was present, along with many others. Somehow you suspected that this engagement party had been Stark’s idea.
“Let’s take a breather, hey?” Steve finally suggested, tugging you towards his room with the fingers that hadn’t once become untangled from yours since you’d said the words ‘I will’.
Guilt festered in your stomach like a disease; he’d always been so good at reading you. As he lead you away, the side glances and hushed murmurs did not escape your notice. How must this look? The happy couple sneaking away from their own engagement party? It would appear saucy or suspicious. Neither made you feel any less sick.
Steve held the door open, followed you inside, and promptly shut it with his hip. He leant back against the wood for a moment, and sighed heavily.
“That’s the worst of it over, I hope,” he chuckled, gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb.
“Steve…”
“But this is going to be great,” he beamed. “I’m still not over the fact you said ‘yes’! I’m thinking we could have a fall wedding. All those autumnal colours, fallen leaves, real romantic, you know? And then-”
“I can’t marry you, Steve Rogers,” you announced.
For a second, the words didn’t sink in. He laughed naively, looking left and right in confusion.
“What?”
“I can’t marry you, Steve.”
“But… But out there, you said-”
“I know what I said,” you growled, clenching your fists around the hem of your shirt. This was not going to be easy but it had to be said. The look of pain in those puppy dog eyes was threatening you to reconsider, but you stood your ground.
“I… It’s not that I don’t want to marry you,” you explained, beginning to pace as you chose your words like an 18th century aristocrat would choose cutlery. “I’m just… not sure I’m ready yet.”
“After two years? You’re not ready after that long?”
“Don’t do that,” you snapped, pointing a finger at him. “Don’t do that to me, Steve. You don’t get to decided when I’m emotionally ready for a commitment this big.”
“Oh, well, I’m sorry. Forgive me for thinking that my boyfriend might feel the same way about me that I do about him.”
“How dare you!” Your jaw hung open, fists quivering and muscles tight. “How dare you even suggest I feel anything less than you! But then again, I amdating the noble, the chivalrous, Steven Grant Rogers. Perhaps I am nothing but a filthy mortal who simply pales in comparison to the great big beating heart of Captain America.”
“Where is all this coming from?” He retorted, taking a step closer to you, hands outstretched as he practically begged for some semblance of an explanation. It simply made no sense! “I thought we loved each other.”
That cut deep. Steve’s voice was wrought with pain and shame. He’d just proposed to you in a room full of people, to whom he would now have to explain that you’d changed your mind?
“We… We do love each other. Or at least, I do, and judging by your proposal, you do too. It’s just the timing, Steve.”
Biting his lip, Steve paused, looking once again about the room. Was he looking for an audience, to give him silent support and encouragement? Maybe he was looking for cameras, in the hopes that this was all some morbid prank show and that he could sleep that night beside his fiancé and not… nobody.
“Why would you lie to me like that?” He asked, voice lower than you’d ever heard it. “In front of everybody…”
“That was exactly the problem. We were in front of everybody. What kind of person would I be to embarrass you in front of everybody? It was a lot of pressure from a lot of different angles.”
“Oh, so now this is my fault? For wanting the people we hold dearest to witness this momentousandjoyousoccasion?”
“This isn’t anybody’s fault, Steve,” you pleaded, taking a step closer to him with an placating hand outstretched. He ignored it. “I’m just saying it wasn’t ideal. Would you have wanted me to keep lying? Would you have wanted a fiancé lying about his desire to marry you?”
“No, to be honest, I’d want a fiancé who actuallywanted to marry me, but I guess today isn’t a day of people getting what they want.”
The bickering continued for some time, each of you trying to get your point across but neither of you suggesting any feasible solution. It eventually ended with the two of you sat in varying levels across the room. Steve’s back was against the door again, leaning back on it with his arms folded. You were sat on the edge of the bed, elbows on your knees and your fingertips planted against your lips. There was no doubt that your absence from the party had been noticed. You’d been gone for over 10 minutes.
“What do you suggest we do then, hm?” Steve asked. “Where do we go from here?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t want us to end what we have just because I’m not ready to commit yet.”
“So let me get this straight, you won’t commit to an engagement – not even a wedding – but just an engagement with me?”
“I…. No.”
“So, what, do you want us to see other people then?”
“That’s– That’s not what I said.”
Steve rubbed his brow.
“Then what are you saying, babe, because honestly I think I’m getting whiplash. You won’t commit to our relationship, to what we have together, but you still think it’s worthy of having?”
“Of course it’s worthy of having!”
“Then I don’t understand what the problem is!”
You groaned loudly, standing up to turn an exasperated circle.
“I– I– I don’t know how to explain it any other way. I love what we have right now, as it is. I’m sure that an engagement wouldn’t change anything, that being husbands would be the same as being boyfriends, but I’m just asking for a little more time so I can be sure of that. A little more time to think things through.”
“Fine!” Steve cried, throwing his hands up in the air. “Fine, fine, take all the time you need. In the meantime, though,” he crossed the room and took your left hand, shimmying the ring a little aggressively from your finger as he spoke, “I’ll take this from you. I wouldn’t want it weighing heavy on your mind whilst you think things through.”
“Steve…”
“Don’’t,” he snapped, before sniffling and wiping the tear from his cheek. “You’ve said your piece. Now it’s time for me to say mine. So if you’ll excuse me, I ought to inform our friends and family that this engagement is off.”
And just like that, he was gone. The door slammed shut behind him, throwing a layer of dust off the door frame, which rained down towards the ground in a macabre shower of grey. Grey was about right for how you were feeling.
It had been the truth, and you’d been raised to believe that the truth was always right, that it brought the least pain and trouble. Hell, you were dating a man that embodied the very belief of truth, justice, and honour.
So why did it feel like your gut was being forcibly removed from your person?
After switching off the bedroom lights, you locked your door and clambered into bed. As the sunlight bled out of the evening sky, the quiet night was filled with the sounds of the muffled sobs that filled your pillow.
Taglist:
@girl-next-door-writes@angelicshinigami@loverbug1123@phire23
@ilvermornyqueen@thomashiddlestonloveloki@addictivewriter@alicia5833@white-chocolate-mocha-fan@shiningpeter@palaiasaurus64@mrgrant9559-blog @smileforthedreams @evyiione
Leaving Like a Father | S. Harrington
Pairing:Steve x Hopper!Reader*
Timeframe:Seasons 2-3
Summary:[Based on Cardigan - Taylor Swift] Y/n’s resentment towards her father reaches an all-time high just before the battle against the Mind Flayer.
tw: daddy issues
*note: this follows the same timeline as ‘CARDIGAN’ but is focused on the reader’s father-daughter relationship with Hopper.
November, 1983
Y/n was half-asleep on the worn-out couch when the sound of heavy footsteps on the front porch made her jolt. She inhaled deeply and sat up straight, before listening closely to the person outside her front door. When she heard keys fumbling and a quiet groan, she quickly realised it was the very person she had staying up for.
After letting out a sight, Y/n push herself up and off the sofa and rubbed her eyes as she approached the front door. She unlocked it and pulled it open before exhaling heavily when she saw her Chief Hopper lying down on top of the doormat, just about passed out.
“Dad,” she groaned, kicking his legs just firmly enough to wake him up again. Before he could make a failed attempt at standing up on his own, Y/n bent down and swung one of his arms over her shoulder to help him.
“It’s ok… ’m ok, bug,” Hopper mumbled as he stepped inside. He pulled his arm away from Y/n and stumbled his way into their home. Even as a drunken mess, he was still as stubborn as he was sober.
“You were supposed to pick me up from work,” Y/n reminded him, crossing her arms and frowning. She knew she shouldn’t have taken his word for it, but considering what day it was, she allowed herself to do so once more.
It ended the same way it always did, her being disappointed and alone.
“I’m sorry, bug,” Hopper huffed, placing his hand on the couch to stabilise his feet enough to turn around and face his daughter. “There was um… there was a holdup at the uh… at the station.”
Y/n watched him closely. He didn’t really think she would buy that? Even from across the room, she could smell the alcohol and tobacco remnants. She sighed and uncrossed her arms, too tired to react. Instead, she turned to the dining table and the empty plate she set specifically for him.
“There’s some food leftover if you’re hungry. I made enough for both of us… like I said I would,” Y/n explained deflatedly, unable to hide the trace of disappointment in her tone.
He promised her this time would be different. That they would have dinner together like they did when there was four of them in that house. Y/n quickly regretted ever believing him.
“Not tonight, bug,” Hopper sighed, not even stopping to acknowledge his sorrowful daughter and the table she had meticulously set hours ago.
Y/n took a few steps towards him as he approached his bedroom, but before she could even mutter a plea, her father slammed his door shut and twisted the lock immediately after.
Any other night, she would have burst into quiet tears, but not that night. She had no more tears left in her, much less any hope that things would be different. Instead, she turned back to the food she had laid out and began putting it away, with it, the plates and cutlery and any faith she once had of a conversation with her dad that didn’t end in disappointment.
Once the table was clear and the kitchen was somewhat tidy, Y/n pulled out the box of cupcakes she kept in the refrigerator as well as the candle she left on the bench. She sat alone at the table and put the candle on one of the cupcakes before igniting it with one of the many lighters her dad left lying around the house.
After inhaling once, Y/n closed her eyes and spent her one birthday wish praying, by some miracle, her dad would still be home by the time she woke up and not passed out in front of a bar with an empty pill container and beer bottle in the cup holder of his battered truck.
Even after years of disappointment and having to figure out things for herself, Y/n could not yet bring herself to hate the shell of a man her father had become. Although it was clear to her that he was never going to be the caring and reliable father she desperately needed him to be for so long, in the midst of it all, Y/n was still his daughter.
“Happy birthday, bug,” she whispered to herself, hoping it would give her a fraction of the comfort it would if he at least said it before slamming his door in her face, but to no avail. After putting the cupcakes back and dragging herself to bed, hoping to get at least a few hours of rest before school.
***
September, 1984
Y/n stifled a yawn as she waved goodbye to Steve before turning back to her door and letting herself in. Her closing shifts at the video store always left her feeling eager to collapse into her beloved bed. As she turned the doorknob and pushed, she was startled to see their kitchen a mess and living room sofa occupied by her dad and El, sound asleep.
She carefully stepped inside and gently closed the door behind her. There was an empty packet of chips on the coffee table and the remote seemed to have fallen out of Hopper hands and onto the carpeted floor assumably when he fell asleep.
It had become a sort of tradition for him and El to watch tv together on Friday nights in the months following her living with them. It was a tradition that left Y/n feeling agitated and conflicted.
She approached their messy dining table and tried her best not to read too much into it. Tried her best not to pay attention to the way her Dad managed to sober up and take on less hours at the station just to keep El company. Tried her best not to feel to envious and bitter every time she glanced back at the two of them; at the quiet smiles on both their faces despite their state of slumber.
Y/n tried not to wonder what that must have felt like, knowing that trail of thought would only leave her in tears.
After clearing the table, she packed away the food left on the bench back into the refrigerator and pantry, she heard her dad groan. Y/n turned to the couch and saw him stretch his arms out, letting loose a yawn before noticing the now clean dining table and his eldest standing in the kitchen.
“Oh hey, you’re home,” he chuckled softly, rising from the couch but not without ensuring his movement did not disturb El.
It was still unsettling for Y/n to see him act with such consideration. He had somewhat sobered up in just over a matter of months and transformed into a half-decent example of a father. He had become exactly what Y/n hoped he would be, but it wasn’t for her sake. It was for El’s.
“How was work?”
Hopper approached the his eldest in the kitchen, thought his eyes remained glued on his youngest right until his calloused hands felt the cool surface of the kitchen bench top.
“Fine,” Y/n answered shortly, before dusting her hands off and reaching gratefully for the cardboard box left on the edge of the counter. She never had enough time to pick up dinner after a closing shift and hoped Hopper finally remembered. “You and El had pizza?”
As she began opening the box she looked up at her dad, only to witness him avert his eyes and attention once more. Even in her sleep, Y/n thought. She promptly shrugged it off as her growling stomach demanded her attention.
“Yeah, we did,” her father chuckled. “She came up with funniest name for pepperonis-”
Hopper’s words were cut short when he turned back to Y/n and watched her stare at the empty pizza box with stifled disappointment. He sighed, suddenly remembering the promise he made to save enough food for her to have for dinner when she got home.
“I’m sorry we completely forgot-”
“It’s fine,” Y/n snapped, before inhaling sharply and deciding to once again bite her tongue. She softened her expression and met Hopper’s guilty eyes. “I was gonna go to bed anyways.”
He knew she was lying but didn’t see the point in call her out on it. It’d likely end in another argument and it’d been a while since their last. Hopper didn’t want to go back there.
“Oh ok,” he nodded, watching her closely as she left the kitchen and headed for her bedroom. He contemplated not saying anything further but, just as she reached for the doorknob, he threw caution to the wind. “Goodnight, bug.”
Hopper couldn’t remember the last time he’d said that to her. Y/n couldn’t either. Perhaps that was why she froze for a moment and, against her better judgement, glanced over her shoulder.
“Night dad,” she replied quietly.
Before turning to the empty bed she’d spent the last five hours yearning for, Y/n pushed her bedroom door behind her, making sure to leave a small gap. It was a silly rule that she never previously cared enough for to follow diligently, but on nights like these she didn’t care enough to wilfully defy it.
As she shifted things around her room whilst getting ready to sleep, Y/n peeked a quick glance into the living room, curious as to whether or not her father was still there. She felt herself freeze again, but this time the feeling in her stomach was far from pleasant.
Y/n watched with an involuntary frown as Hopper placed a blanket over El while she continued to sleep soundly on the living room couch. He was so attentive and thoughtful with her. So loving and affectionate even when she was not awake to appreciate it.
Had he always been capable of being that way or did El bring out a fatherly side in him he never felt obliged to show when it was just her? Y/n’s stomach turned. She was unsure whether she wanted to scream or burst into tears.
Before she could make a conscious, her hand flew and slammed the door shut completely.
***
June, 1985
Y/n slammed the front door shut and sped across to the kitchen, too determined to get to the refrigerator to let the sting of her tears and her blurred vision hinder her. Thankfully, she had dipped into her hidden stash of ice cream enough times to do it by muscle memory alone.
Get the ice cream, get the spoon, take the lid off and indulge. Just like always, only this time Y/n hugged the ice cream tub to her chest and raced to her bedroom. She wanted to sink into the comfort of her beloved bed and not get up until absolutely necessary.
After kicking her shoes off her feet and tossing her bag and jacket aside, she sat on her bed. However, just before she fully lie down and being her wallowing process, her bedroom door was pushed open and El cautiously stepped in.
“Y/n? Are you ok?”
She held he hands behind her back and didn’t take a step further, not until she was sure she was wanted. Y/n sighed as she contemplated putting on a brave face so El wouldn’t worry, before ultimately realising she now knew her well enough to see through such lies. Maybe that wasn’t a bad thing.
“… No,” Y/n admitted, sniffling as she scooped another spoonful of ice cream. “Not really, El.”
She was a pitiful mess. It was clear as day. Even so, admitting she was hurting bruised the fragile ego and pride Y/n had worked so hard to maintain. Somehow she preferred it happened in front of El as opposed to just about anyone else.
“Can I stay? Or do you want to be alone?”
El knew from observation that Y/n often liked to be alone in her room when she was upset or angry. It was a detail easy to deduce after watching Hopper get ignored or turned away anytime he tried to apologise for to her something, which happened rather frequently. El was so sure this time was no different, so she stood in the doorway ready to back away.
Much to her surprise, Y/n offered a small and gracious smile before patting empty spot on her bed beside her. El grinned before assuming her spot, revealing the spoon she held behind her back just in case she got the chance to eat Y/n’s special ice cream with her.
“Did something happen?”
El was not oblivious to Y/n’s puffy eyes and wet cheeks. She had never seen Y/n cry before. She felt a strange urge to find out who was responsible and find a way to telepathically torment them.
“Steve and I broke up,” Y/n explained, her voice shaky. She tried to think a child-friendly way of explaining the reason to El. “He… kissed another girl. And it turns out he’s been lying to me about it for a while.”
El’s nostrils flared. She hated lying. However, it became clear to her that she hated seeing her big sister upset even more. Now she hated Steve for being the reason for it. Why did boyfriends lie?
“Boys are dumb,” El grumbled.
“They really are,” Y/n groaned.
“Max says when boyfriends lie, you give him the medicine and dump his ass.”
Y/n furrowed her brows and looked up at El who held her head high with a small smirk. They stared at each other silently before bursting into fits of laughter simultaneously.
As they recovered and began scooping out more ice cream, Y/n pondered as to why Max would give El that advice. Maybe they both needed her secret tub of chocolate ice cream fro similar reasons.
“Did something happen with you and Mike?”
The young girl nodded her head as she scooped a spoonful of ice cream. She was beginning to understand why Y/n always kept a tub hidden in their freezer.
“There was no nana,” El explained, knowing Y/n would understand what she meant. After establishing their ‘sisters dont tell secrets’ pact, El confided in her sister about almost everything. “Mike lied to me.”
“So did you dump his ass?” Y/n smirked.
Her younger sister nodded her head and laughed as she recounted the moment it happened. She felt so exhilarated.
“Good,” Y/n smiled as she scraped the sides of the now half empty ice cream tub. “We deserve boyfriends who tell us the truth.”
Y/n hoped saying it would convince her and provide her some ounce of comfort. That maybe then she’d start to believe the downfall of her relationship with Steve started and ended with him. But there was a small part of her that felt discontent with that. A small part that questioned if there was something she did or didn’t do that landed her in the position she was now in.
Luckily, before she could trail further into that rabbit hole, El continued to talk to her about how dumb boys could be. Y/n never thought she’d be so grateful her plans for a quiet night alone got disrupted. El was good company.
By the time Hopper got home from the station, he was puzzled by quiet. Instinctively, he went to check El’s room first and was surprised to see all but an empty bed. However, when he walked past his eldest’s room, he stopped in his tracks when he saw the two of them sleeping.
He couldn’t help but smile.
The following morning, Y/n woke up extra early just so she could make a phone call out to the Wheeler residence. She knew she needed to give herself at left a good twenty minutes to explain everything that had happened to Nancy.
After their conversation, she raced to the bathroom and got ready as quickly as she could. Hopper wasn’t working until the afternoon, so she hoped it meant she could leave without having to respond to his interrogation.
Just in case, she donned a pair of sunglasses in an attempt to hide her eyes that were still puffy from all the crying she did the night before and in the shower that very morning.
As she exited her room and headed for the kitchen, she saw her dad standing by the phone. Before she could reach the kitche table, where El sat quietly with a bowl of cereal, Hopper held the phone out to his eldest.
“Y/n, Steve’s on the phone,” he explained.
Y/n wore a sarcastic smile that only El saw for its true nature. Hopper was none the wiser. The younger girl took a spoonful of cereal and paid close attention to her older sister, curious to see what she would do next.
“Oh he is?”
The older girl approached their telephone just as her dad backed away and retreated to his seat at the table and his plate of eggs and bacon. Y/n held the phone to her chest and turned to her little sister.
“El, block your ears,” she ordered. The younger girl did so without a hesitation nor any follow up questions. Y/n finally brought the phone to her ear and confronted her ex. “Go fuck yourself!”
She slammed the phone down so aggressively, Hopper was surprised nothing broke. He watched with concern as Y/n approached the refrigerator silently, as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
“Um… are you feeling ok, bug?”
Hopper studied his eldest daughter closely. He had a feeling her spontaneous decision to wear sunglasses was more calculated than it appeared. Y/n poured herself a glass of orange juice and bit into a piece of plain toast.
“I’m fine,” Y/n asserted as he chewed. She glanced at the clock and took a sip of her juice. “I just need to eat something fast. Nancy and Jonathan will be here soon.”
“Steve’s not picking you up?”
El widened her eyes in terror and tried her best to silently communicate to him that it was in his best interest he stop asking follow-up questions.
“Obviously not if Jonathan and Nancy are going to be here soon!” Y/n retorted, irritated by her dad’s questions just as El suspected. “Are you even listening to me?”
Hopper turned to El and narrowed his eyes as the young girl shook her head rapidly, clearly warning him to leave the older girl alone. Despite El’s best attempts, their father remained relentleess.
“You know, if there’s something going on, I’m here if you wanna-“
“Oh my god, dad, I’m fine!” Y/n yelled, putting her dishes in the sink just roughly enough to make a sound that punctuated her annoyance.
If it had been anyone else interrogating her about why she was acting differently, perhaps Y/n wouldn’t respond with such aggression. But this was her father. The man who once went weeks without speaking a word to her. The man who had the nerve to voice his disapproval of her dating Steve as if his judgement of character meant anything to her.
She wasn’t ready to let him know how she was feeling, nor was she ready to admit that Steve wasn’t the stand up guy she insisted he was.
“I’m perfectly fine,” Y/n repeated, her voice all the more irritated. “Do I not seem fine to you? El, do I not seem fine?”
“She’s fine,” El agreed immediately, not missing a beat.
“See, I’m fine!”
Hopper gulped, completely taken aback. There was clearly something his daughter knew that he didn’t but before he could make another failed attempt at getting a straight answer out of Y/n, Nancy and Jonathan arrived to pick her up and take her to her morning shift.
He waited until she closed the door behind her before turning to his youngest. Hopper hoped El’s distaste for liars would mean she would finally give him the truth. The young girl continued to eat her cereal, oblivious to Hopper’s attentive eye.
“El,” he began, narrowing his eyes. “Did something happen between Steve and Y/n?”
El chewed slowly before looking up at Hopper, who studied her closely. He was so sure she was about to cave and tell him everything. But instead, she shrugged.
“Sisters don’t tell secrets.”
***
July, 1985
Y/n sat at an empty table of the Starcourt mall’s food court and sipped the water bottle Steve had gotten her. He was saying something about how there was no telling if the truth serum had completely worn off yet, until he realised Y/n’s attention was elsewhere.
She watched from a distance as Hopper put a bandaid on the small cut long El’s temple. She continued to study the two of them as he seemingly said something comforting to her before pulling her in for a hug. She hoped that after a year of sitting on sideline and watching her dad look after El it wouldn’t affect her as much as it used to. But it still stung just harshly. It still hurt just as bad.
"Hey,” Steve whispered, placing his hand on Y/n’s wrist. Finally she looked away. “You ok?”
It was his attempt at testing to see if the truth serum had worn off yet. Before Y/n could lie through her teeth and cast her feelings aside, she involuntarily spoke as she rose from her seat.
“Obviously not,“ she muttered quietly before heading towards the portion of the foodcourt everyone else was gathered at. Steve followed her closely, concerned about what the truth serum would do to her.
As they listened in on what the goal was and the different groups everyone was splitting off into, Steve’s attention remained with Y/n. There was something about her demeanour that made him anxious.
Even as she approached El and hugged her tightly, Steve’s worries persisted. He was the only person Y/n confided in about her conflicted feelings towards her dad and towards El. For this reason, he was the only one who noticed the way she suppressed her resentment.
As Y/n pulled away from her little sister, she started to brace herself for the mission ahead. However, her train of though was quickly interrupted as Hopper approached her with knitted brows.
“You’re not staying with El?” He asked in disbelief, a hint of anger in his tone that took Y/n by surprise. He had a real knack for making her feel she was constantly doing something wrong.
“No, I’m gonna go with Steve.”
Y/n hadn’t realised she needed to justify her decision to Hopper. When he responded with a loud and incredulous scoff, she felt her blood begin to boil.
“Bug, c'mon… you can’t be serious.”
“What are you trying to say?” Y/n questioned.
“You’d rather go into the woods with the guy who broke your heart than stay here and look out for your sister? Don’t you think she could use your support?”
Of course Y/n wanted to support El in every way she could, but she didn’t have the stomach to watch El battle the mind flayer. She already had her fair share of traumatic experiences and witnessing her loved ones get hurt. Not to mention, Y/n knew nothing about defeating an inter-dimensional beast. However, she did know a thing or two about speeding through Hawkins with only half a tank of gas.
“She’ll be ok, dad,” Y/n stated sincerely, trying to level with him. He was not the only one worried about El, but he too knew he could be more helpful is he went instead of staying.
“She’s 14,” Hopper retorted.
“She has supernatural powers,” she rebutted, growing annoyed with his insinuation that she was abandoning El. He, of all people, should know what actual abandonment looks like. “And Nancy and Jonathan will be with them.”
“Y/n,” Hopper warned as she turned around and attempted to leave.
She whipped back around and huffed. Perhaps it was the truth serum or finally being fed up, but she had no urge to stifle her feelings any longer. Steve and El watched with concern.
“What exactly do you expect me to do, dad?” She asked angrily. “Jump in front of the fucking mind Flayer for her?”
Y/n watched as her dad struggled to muster a straight answer. It was unsurprising but still all the more hurtful and enraging. El stepped forward, unable to stand idle and watch the two of the most important people in her life argue over her. Only it wasn’t just about El. It was about so much more.
“Hopper I’ll be ok,” the young girl assured. “It’s ok.”
"It’s not ok,” Hopper shook his head, his angry and disapproving eyes never leaving Y/n. While he didn’t want to fight with his eldest daughter, he couldn’t just let it go. “C'mon bug, I thought I raised you to-”
“Raised me?” Y/n repeated, her eyes widened and fist clenched. There was not more tiptoeing around the elephant in the room. No more thinking carefully about her words. All she saw was red, as all her pent up resentment bubbled to the surface. “I’m sorry, since when did coming home drunk every night and disappearing in the morning qualify as raising someone?”
“Are you really gonna drudge up the past when we’re in the middle of a crisis?”
Y/n scoffed. Of course he would dismiss what he did and he feelings about it. Of course he would try and convince her to put a cork in it so he could go on living in oblivion. Of course it was easy for him to forget how cruel he was. He wasn’t the one who had to stay sober through it all.
“Look, I get that you care more about El than you do about me-“
“That’s not true!” Hopper denied immediately.
“Oh, it’s not?” Y/n hissed, convinced he was either in denial or lying to save face in front of El and Joyce. “She gets a fatherly pep talk and a hug, and all I get is you yelling at me for not volunteering to become her human body shield.”
Hopper furrowed his brows, feeling blindsided by his daughter’s outburst. He thought they were fine. He thought he was finally making progress with her.
“Where is this coming from?”
“Where is this coming from?” Y/n roared. “It’s coming from you leaving me to fend for myself for years… a-and you adopting El and being a better dad to her in a year than you were to me.Ever.”
She thought of the way he justified taking El in to her. How he described her as being just a kid who was on her own. The frustration she felt leaving that conversation was soul crushing. If not for Steve talking her down afterwards and cheering her up with ice cream, she would likely torn her room to shreds.
"I didn’t get eggos, o-or encouraging words or meals together. And I never ev-” Y/n’s breath hitched as she felt tears begin to pool in her eyes. All while thinking of the one thing she wanted from him, after everything that happened. “I never even got an apology… Or a thank you for putting up with all your shit.”
She was lucky to get even a conversation with him. Most days he passed through their house like a silent zombie, and not someone who had a responsibility to look after her.
“And now what?” Y/n cried. “You want me to get killed trying to save El? Is that it? Would that make it easier for you to continue on being father of the century?”
“You know that’s not true,” Hopper winced. She had to know that wasn’t true. Losing another one of his daughters was the last thing he could ever want. Y/n shook her head and lowered her voice.
“What I know is that it’s really ironic when you make digs at Steve for hurting me, because that’s exactly what you’ve been doing for most of my life.”
She watched his expression as it twisted and morphed into something she hadn’t seen in a long long time. Not since the day they got the phone call from the hospital.
Steve studied Y/n closely, dumbfounded by how quickly her argument with Hopper escalated. He wondered how much of it was due to the truth serum still evident in her system. He, along with everyone else standing in the foodcourt, hoped that it was finally over. That she wouldn’t take thing any farther.
She considered ending the conversation and leaving. But there was one last thing weighing heavily on her chest. The one thought she spent years suppressing. Without another moment’s deliberation, Y/n threw caution to the wind.
"You know I used to wish I had died with them,” she confessed quietly. “-with mom and Sara.”
Hopper’s face went pale. That was the one topic they never discussed. The one line they both silently agreed to never cross. Y/n was sick of his stupid rules. In that moment, she didn’t care how her words would affect him. She just knew how she felt and had no will left to bite her tongue and fake a smile.
“Now, I wish it had just been you instead.”
The room fell silent as Y/n turned her back to her dad and sped towards the parking lot. She didn’t care for any rebuttal he might have had. She didn’t care for the horrified look on his and everyone else’s face. She was certain it needed to be said.
“Steve,” Hopper called out, prompting the young man to stop and face him, terrified and concerned about what he would say next. The older man sighed defeatedly. “Keep her safe… Please.”
It was the only thing he could do and perhaps the only right thing left to say. He always struggled when it came to words, and clearly his actions were quite questionable as well. Maybe the best thing he could do for his eldest daughter was hope she would survive the night safely and pray that, come morning, he’ll be able to start rectifying everything he did wrong.
However long it would take.
When Steve caught up to his ex girlfriend, he knew better than to ask her how she was coping. The determined look in her eyes and her stoic demeanour on the drive to the hills was enough for him to know it was in his best interest not to pry. He couldn’t help but wonder if she had truly meant to say all that she did, or if she felt some semblance of remorse now she was looking back at it. But Y/n had no regret in that moment. Not one ounce. However, the regret would come later that night, when everyone returned to Starcourt.
Everyone but Hopper.
Cardigan | S. Harrington
Pairing: Steve x Hopper!Reader
Timeframe: Season 2-3
Summary:[Based on Cardigan - Taylor Swift] Y/n and Steve had a love like no other until he went and fucked it up.
A/N:this is a part of my folklore/evermore-inspired fic collection
November, 1984
Steve grinned widely as he opened the passenger door of his BMW and held his hand out to his long-term girlfriend. She stepped out onto the patchy grass, but not without rolling her eyes playfully. Before she could take another step towards her front porch, Steve wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.
“Steve,” Y/n giggled, placing her hands on his.
Steve did not respond and instead buried his face in the crook of her neck and let out a groan. Y/n continued to move towards her porch, but with Steve holding her tightly she could not help but drag her feet.
“C'mon, baby, I gotta go,” she murmured, laughing under her breath.
When he finally loosened his grasp and followed her onto the porch, Y/n turned around and was promptly startled by him stepping forward and pulling her into his arms yet again.
“Are you sure you can’t stay out just a little bit longer?”
He leaned in until their heads were pressed against each other. Y/n felt tempted to give in when she looked him in the eye, but frowned, knowing someone else needed her just a bit more.
“My dad’s working all night tonight,” she frowned. “And you know how El doesn’t like to be on her own when it gets late.”
Steve sighed, before nodding his head. He kissed her forehead and held the sides of her face affectionately. She smiled at him gratefully.
“Next time,” Y/n promised, wrapping her arms around his neck and meeting his disappointed gaze. “We’ll stay for as long as you want.”
“I’m holding you to it,” Steve whispered, before leaning in with a foolish grin and kissing her softly. Y/n smiled against his lips and laughed when he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer.
When he finally pulled away, he waited until Y/n fished her house key from the pocket of her jeans before letting go of her waist. She held his face and got in one final peck to last her through till morning when he would come by to take her to work.
“Goodnight,” she whispered, unable to stop grinning.
“Goodnight, baby,” he replied, smiling back at her in awe. How did she manage to still look so pretty under the dim lighting of an old porch light? Even after a year of walking her to her front door at night, Steve was still amazed.
Just as Y/n pulled her hands away from his face and went to step back, Steve leaned in and stole one more kiss. He could never get enough of the taste of her chapstick and the feeling of her lips on his.
“I love you,” he added.
“I love you too,” she responded with ease, before leaning back against the front door and waving goodbye until his car was almost out of sight.
Y/n turned back around and unlocked the door before slowly swinging it open. She was hoping to hear nothing but the sound of a teenage girl fast asleep in her room, but once she caught a whiff of what she recognised immediately as burnt eggos, Y/n knew her little sister was very much awake.
“El?” She called out, closing and locking the door behind her.
“It’s 8-1-5. You’re late.”
Y/n sighed when she saw El sitting cross-legged at the dinner table with her old baseball bat clutched tightly in her small hands. The half-eaten charred waffle on the plate in front of her made
“I know. I’m sorry,” she said, taking her jacket off and taking the seat opposite her. El stared at her burnt waffles, refusing to even look up at her older sister. Y/n shifted uncomfortably. “Did you have dinner? I heated it up for you like I said I would.”
El huffed before nodding her head. Her lips remained pursed as a testament to how upset she was, though she finally glanced up and looked at Y/n. Her small fingers played with the burnt bits of eggo.
“I wanted dessert,” El explained.
The young girl thought it would be easy enough to make, especially after watching Y/n do it with such ease. After twisting the dials on the toaster without understanding what exactly it did, El quickly realised she had burnt the last of the waffles.
“I know how to fix this,” Y/n smiled, before taking El’s plate and throwing the burnt eggos in the trash. She then fished out two spoons from the only kitchen drawer that could be opened and grabbed the tub of ice cream she kept hidden right at the back of the freezer, behind the ice trays and frozen dinners.
El’s eyes lit up and she did not waste another second before taking her spoon and eating, relieved to finally have something to get rid of the burnt eggos taste in her mouth.
“Why were you late?”
She was asking less out of curiosity and more out of concern. Typically when Y/n knew she would be late, explain to El what number to look for on the clock. The older girl downed another spoonful of ice cream before answering.
“Steve took me to see a movie, and it took longer than I thought it would,” she explained.
Although it was an honest mistake, Y/n couldn’t shake the guilty feeling left in her gut knowing how disappointed and concerned El must have felt. As the two of them continued to eat, Y/n couldn’t help but stress over whether or not she would be getting reprimanded the following morning.
“Please don’t tell Hopper I was late,” she pleaded sheepishly.
The last time Y/n got home late, El told on her and she had to endure a lecture on responsibility and keeping each other safe. She could just imagine how livid her father would be if he found out she got home almost an hour later than the agreed-upon time.
“Hopper said no secrets,” El replied, confused by Y/n’s request.
The entire dynamic between Y/n and her dad left El puzzled. While she did her best to listen to Hopper’s rules and abide by them, Y/n seemed to take them as a mere suggestion and, at times, did her best to completely defy his orders. It left constantly El intrigued.
“I know he did,” the older girl sighed. “…but this is different.”
“It is?”
El furrowed her brows in confusion. Y/n smiled and nodded her head. The both of them scooped more ice cream and continued to eat while they continued their conversation.
“You keep my secrets and I’ll keep yours,” Y/n stated. “That’s how it works when you have a sister.”
Though they had only been living under the same roof for half a year, there was no denying the sisterly nature of their relationship. While Y/n had her reservations about El when they first met, they were long gone after the first few weeks.
“But I don’t have secrets,” El reasoned.
“Maybe not now, but you might have one later,” Y/n shrugged. “And when you do, you can tell me and I won’t tell Hopper… Or anyone.”
Despite suspecting she was only saying this to undermine Hopper’s rules yet again, El felt excited by the idea of having a confidante she could count on indefinitely. Someone she knew would not freak out in the same way Hopper did.
“Ok,” she smiled.
“So you won’t tell him I came home late tonight?”
“Sisters don’t tell secrets,” El stated, holding her pinky out the way Y/n taught her to whenever they made promises to each other. Y/n grinned before holding out hers and looping their fingers together.
After finishing, the tub of ice cream, the two of them tidied the kitchen together before retiring to the living room sofa for the evening. Y/n was halfway through painting El’s fingernails when she could sense that someone was troubling her.
“Y/n. I have a question.”
She finished the last finger on her left hand before moving on to the next, muttering a quick ‘hm?’ signalling El to ask away. The young girl shifted in her seat before exhaling heavily.
“Why do you like Steve?”
She froze for a moment, taken aback by El’s sudden curiosity about her relationship. Even so, she gave it a great deal of thought.
“Well, I like him for a lot of reasons,” Y/n answered “I guess… it’s mostly because of how he makes me feel.”
“How does he make you feel?”
“He makes me feel happy… and safe,” Y/n responded, smiling to herself as she continued to reflect on her relationship with Steve. “And he makes me feel really special even when I don’t feel like I am.”
That was more often than Y/n would have liked to admit. With everything she went through in life, it was hard for her to see herself as someone important and even harder to believe anyone would be willing to stick by her. But Steve did, even when it was not easy to.
“Y/n, I think I have a secret,” El admitted. Y/n looked at her and quipped a brow, interested to know what it was. From the dazed and awestruck glimmer in her eye, Y/n had a hunch it was about a certain boy. El sighed with a goofy smile. “I think I like Mike.”
Y/n tried to contain her excitement as she continued painting El’s right hand, knowing exactly why she wanted to keep that a secret from their dad.
***
June, 1985
Y/n pulled the passenger’s seat of Steve’s BMW forward and searched the floor behind it for her missing earring. She could have sworn she was wearing it on their way to Starcourt Mall for work that very morning and was determined to pull her boyfriend’s car apart if that’s what it took to find it.
“Baby, what are you doing?”
Steve had just reached the parking lot and was rather startled to see his girlfriend rummaging through the loose items that cluttered the backseat of his car. She continued to search the floor mats, unfazed by Steve’s presence and concerned tone.
“I lost my earring,” she cried out. “I didn’t have it when we went inside the mall, so it has to be here somewhere.”
He chuckled, feeling grateful he made himself an ice cream cone before locking up the shop. He walked to the front of his car and leaned back against the bumper. The sound of Y/n going through all the clutter provided ambience as he ate his ice cream.
When the parking lot went silent, Steve stood tall, thinking she had finally found her missing earring so it was time for them to grab some dinner before going home. As he watched Y/n step out of the passenger side of the BMW and pace towards him, Steve realised she was holding something but it was not her missing earring.
It was another girl’s lacey red bra.
“What the fuck is this, Steve?”
She threw the bra at his fate in a fit of rage, but he was too stunned to react and the red bra fell onto the patch of pavement that separated them. Steve’s face went pale and he could have sworn his heart stopped beating altogether.
“Please don’t tell me it’s what I think it is,” Y/n whispered, hoping he would break a smile and reveal that it was all part of some stupid prank he was trying to pull over on her. When he did nothing but stare blankly, she knew that was not going to be the case.
She stumbled back and gasped for air, unsure whether she wanted to burst into tears or break every last window on his stupid BMW and then every last bone in his nose.
“Y/n, I-I can expl-”
“Steve, are you kidding me?”
An explanation was the last thing she wanted to hear. An explanation was not going to undo what he had already gone and done, nor was it going to just ease the excruciating pain she felt in her chest.
“I’m so sorry, Y/n,” he cried out, reaching out in an attempt to pull her close to him like he had grown accustomed to doing.
“Don’t touch me,” she hissed, slapping his hand away and stepping back again.
Y/n raised her hand to her chest and turned her back to Steve. Her mind was flooded with so many negative thoughts, overwhelming any questions she might have initially had. She didn’t care for the finer details. She didn’t even care who the other girl was. All she could feel was the piercing heartbreak making it unbearable to be in his presence for another second.
“Just take me home,” Y/n whimpered, before quickly getting into the passenger’s seat and slamming her door shut. She squeezed her eyes shut, unable to stand the sight of the man she could no longer recognise.
Most of the ride was silent. Y/n kept her eyes glued to the trees outside her window as she tried to contain her sobs, while Steve struggled to keep his focus on the road. It wasn’t until they reached her house that he finally mustered enough courage to speak.
“It was a mistake,” Steve whispered, unable to take any more of the silence. He wanted her to yell at him and do everything he knew he deserved. “I was young and stupid and I’ve regretted it ever since.”
“We’re the same fucking age, Steve,” Y/n scolded, finally looking him in the eye. She furrowed her brows and shook her head in both confusion and disapproval. “And I would’ve never done this to you.”
Y/n turned away and stepped out of his car, slamming shut behind her and then racing to the front door. It wasn’t until she was inside that Steve finally drove away, haunted by her last words.
After tossing her keys and jacket on the couch, Y/n sped to the freezer and reached for her trusty stash of chocolate ice cream. She slammed it on the counter and grabbed a spoon from the kitchen drawer. She was barely able to open the container when she burst into tears, suddenly overwhelmed by the reality of it all.
With the tears came all the painful questions she couldn’t bring herself to answer. Did she not give him enough love? Y/n was certain she loved Steve as much as she possibly could, which only triggered the more terrifying question of whether that meant her love was not enough. That she was not enough.
***
July, 1985
Y/n’s eyes blinked open and she let out a groan having been woken up to both a pounding headache and a battered and bruised Steve Harrington. She held the sides of her head and continued to groan.
“What happened?”
Steve leaned against the wall and rested his elbow on the toilet seat but not before flushing the last of his vomit away. He tried to remember the better times, before him, his ex-girlfriend and two kids got roped into investigating the inner workings of the Starcourt Mall.
“Russians. Truth serum,” he panted as he tried to catch his breath. “We’ve been puking non-stop for an hour and I think you passed out a few minutes ago.”
Y/n sighed as she started to remember. She shifted over to the other side of the toilet before leaning back and looking up, trying to focus on the ceiling now that it had finally stopped spinning.
“Do you think it’s all out of our system?”
“I don’t know,” Steve mumbled. “Ask me something.”
“Does your mom still ask about me?”
“Every time I play 'Total Eclipse of the Heart’ in my bedroom,” he answered without hesitation. “- So, basically every day.”
“Yeah, I think it’s still in our system.”
The both of them broke into uncontrollable fits of laughter. When the stalls grew quiet again after they both caught their breaths, Steve found himself smiling and unable to keep quiet.
“You know, this is most you’ve talked to me all month.”
“That’s sorta what happens when you cheat on someone, Steve.”
“Yeah, that’s fair.”
As the restroom started to grow quiet again, Y/n couldn’t stop thinking about their breakup. All of the feelings she previously keep bottled up and concealed were bubbling to the surface thanks to the unknown substance she was injected with.
“It’s really fucked up what you did,” she sighed.
“I know,” he answered truthfully.
“It’s even more fucked up how relieved I am that you’re ok.”
Steve peeled his eyes away from the ceiling and glanced over to her. Though he knew they were both still affected by the serum, he couldn’t help but question whether she meant what she was saying.
“I used to think I wanted you to die,” Y/n admitted honestly. “But then those Russians kept punching you and I just… I quickly regretted ever wishing that would happen.”
She wanted to be vengeful and enraged, but it was hard to wish misfortune for someone she still cared an awful lot for.
“But, you know, I just… I still don’t get why you did it,” Y/n whispered. Despite spending so many sleepless nights reflecting on where it all went wrong, she could never figure it out. “I trusted you more than I trusted anyone.”
She used to think the only person she could count on was herself, considering everyone she used to rely on was either dead or an unstable drunk. Steve was the only person she felt comfortable enough around to let her guard down completely and trust wholeheartedly. Y/n could have never fathomed the one person who knew her best would leave her heartbroken just like everyone else. Every time she tried to find something to pin the blame on, she found herself pointing her finger right back at her pitiful messed up heart.
“Did you… Did you not feel loved enough by me?”
It was the question that had been haunting her for weeks. If not for the truth serum, Y/n would have never uttered it aloud, unsure whether knowing the answer would do her any good. Steve thought about it for a second then spoke just as quickly as the realisation hit him.
“I didn’t know what love was until I was with you.”
For as long as he could remember, Steve had always been jumping through hoops to earn the validation of his peers. He once believed he needed to have the best hair, the best car and the keg stand record to feel seen and valued until Y/n very quickly proved him otherwise.
Steve never had someone who loved him quite the way she did: fiercely and unconditionally. Each time he told her he loved her, he couldn’t help but feel startled when she said it back every single time. Y/n had seen every side to him, the best and the worst parts. He simply couldn’t believe she loved him still until he had already gone and fucked it up.
***
August, 1985
“He wrote you a letter?”
Y/n felt a lump in her throat as a teary-eyed El held up the letter their dad had written to her. The older girl felt resentful and envious. There was not much either of them could say beyond that.
Despite her best attempts as appearing to be okay, El knew how much Y/n was hurting and wished she had more time in Hawkins to ensure her older sister would be ok. However, the sun was setting and the moving truck was already filled to the brim, ready for the journey to California.
Y/n thought hugging El one last time before waving goodbye to her and the Byers would be the hardest part, but it was by far the drive home. She had no one with her and no one waiting for her. All she had for company was the bitter feeling that came from realising everyone she loved was gone.
Her father was dead. The closest thing she had to a sister chose to move to a different state with another family overstaying in Indiana with her. Everyone she loved had abandoned her in one way.
Now all she was left with was the pack of beers her dad had stored in their refrigerator and an empty house. Y/n chugged her first bottle, hoping the alcohol would suffocate the quiet voice in her head, replaying the harsh words she spoke during her last argument with her father.
Before she could fall deeper into the wormhole, there was a knock at the door. After swinging it open, she found herself face to face with Steve, who held a pizza box in his hand and his car keys in the other.
“I thought maybe you could use some company,” he spoke hesitantly.
After everything that happened when they left the bathroom stall, Y/n was quick to shut almost everyone out. Every attempt Steve made at getting her to open up was met with defensiveness and an aggressive reminder that he was a cheating scumbag. Even so, he knew he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t continue to try.
“Why are you here?”
Though her tone came off as annoyed, she was more surprised than anything else. Almost everyone had given up on trying to get through to her, yet there he stood in her front porch light, ready to give it another go.
“I know I messed up,” Steve sighed wearily. “And I’m not expecting you to take me back or anything. I just… I just didn’t want you to be alone.”
He braced himself for another blowup and prepared himself to take whatever it was she needed to get off her chest and be ready to come back and try again the following day. However, she simply snatched the pizza box out of hand, placing it on the floor behind her before turning back to him and pulling him in for a hug.
Steve wrapped his arms around his waist and held her tightly, not letting go until he was certain she was ready to pull away. The quiet sobs she let out into his shoulders made it clear that would not be any time soon.
Just as well, there was no place else he wanted to be.
Day 5 of Kyra’s Christmas Sing-a-long Series
Pairing:Steve Rogers x Reader
Warning(s): Nope. Just fluff.
Author’s Note: I’m super proud of this one. It doesn’t follow the song as much as some of the others, but it’s still super adorable. ENJOY!
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town
Your son, Evan, was beyond ecstatic when you and Steve told him that you were going to see Santa. He had been on his best behavior for the past two weeks, being extra careful not to do anything bad until Christmas, which just happened to be tomorrow.
Now, you’re waiting in line with Evan who is bouncing up and down excitedly waiting for his turn to see Santa.
“You excited, little man?” Steve asks, looking down at his son with a fond smile.
“Yes! Daddy, I’m gonna meet Santa Claus!” The five year old exclaims. “I’m going to ask for something super special,” he says, a secretive glint in his eye. You raise an eyebrow at your son’s antics.
“And what’s that?” You ask.
“I can’t tell you, Mama! I can only tell Santa!” Evan deadpans, looking at you with a look that just screams “duh”.
He’s making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who’s naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town
When it’s his turn, Evan runs up the two stares and practically jumps into Santa’s lap. You laugh and lean into your husband’s embrace as you watch the scene in front of you unfold.
“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa says, lifting Evan up into his lap. “And what is your name?”
“Evan,” Evan says, but more timid than before.
“Have you been a good boy this year, Evan?”
“Yes, sir.” You grin at your son’s manners; it was something he’d been working on with him.
“And what do you want for Christmas, Evan?”
Evan eyes you and Steve warily before turning back to Santa and whispering into Santa’s ear.
“I want a baby sister.”
“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa laughed. “That one might be a little out of my hands, but I’ll see what I can do.” You and Steve share a look; what had your son just asked for?
Evan smiled. “Thanks, Santa!” And then Evan jumped off of Santa’s lap and ran over to Steve.
“Merry Christmas!”
“You ready to go, bud?” Steve asks.
“Yup!” Evan replies, running a little ahead to get out of the line. Steve follows right behind him.
You, however, take a detour to ask Santa your own question. Santa raises an eyebrow as you lean forward just a little.
“What did he ask for?”
Santa chuckles. “He asked for a baby sister.” Your eyes widen and Santa and he chuckles once more. You mumble out a ‘thanks’ before you run to catch up with your family.
He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
After you put Evan to bed with the reminder that Santa won’t come if he doesn’t go to sleep, you and Steve settle down on the couch to watch some T.V.
“So, what did he ask for?” Steve asks as you cuddle into his side and turn on the T.V.
You giggle at the memory. “Oh! Santa said he wants a baby sister for Christmas. Hence the “that’s a little out of my hands” thing.”
Steve’s eyes widen in surprise. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, it’s a good thing he has one on the way, then,” he says, placing his hand over your stomach.
“Hey, we don’t know it’s a girl, yet,” you point out with a giggle.
“I guess not,” Steve says, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town
Tags:@phiauniverse
