Hello! I’m alive and well! Just took a break, but I’ve been working on some stories.
I missed all of you, as well as sharing my stories with you.
That being said, I have four teasers from stories I’ve written listed below. It’s up to you, my readers and friends, to choose which one you’d like to read first.
Let me know which you’d like to be released first!
Warning: Some of these are angsty. There’s swearing, because swearing like a sailor is my jam. Mention of blood/wounds/guns as well as viruses and quarantining.
It Ain’t Me
You stare at Bucky for a moment before walking up to him and repeatedly slapping his chest with both your hands as you started to cry, “You idiot!” You scream, “You absolute, complete dumbass!”
Bucky let you slap him a few times, you were much weaker and lacked training so it felt like nothing against him, so he took it. He knew the pain he caused you but after a moment of letting you scream at him, he grabbed onto your wrists and looks down at you, “I know, I’m sorry,” he says to you.
“No! Fuck you, Barnes!” You wail at him, your vision blurry as you stare at him, trying to pull your wrists from his grasp and eventually he let go so you could step away from him, “You died! Do you know I felt that too?! I felt each gasp for air only to feel water in my lungs!” You shook your head, trembling in front of him, “And then you were gone and it felt like a piece of me died. Then I had to bring you back…”
“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry,” Bucky says softly, reaching out to pull you into a hug but froze when he watched you step away from him shaking your head. It made his heart sting. When he was drowning, his only regret was not letting you in or letting you close. The worst part wasn’t even the fact that his throat and lungs burned as they filled with water, it was that he could feel your anguish and devastation. You were his soulmate and he had pushed you away repeatedly. Bucky thought you bringing him back was a second chance, but from the look on your face now, he felt like this was the end and it made a pit of despair in his stomach that made him actually scared of your next words, “I’m so sorry for what I put you through… I’m sorry.”
You shook your head again and took another step away from him, “No, I’m done. No more apologies. No more excuses.” You tell him softly, your voice shaking as you held back sobs, “I’m done.”
Bucky was frozen. His body ached as he watched you turn away from him and walk out the door of your medical lab, practically jogging away from him until you were out of sight.
————
Resurrection
“How is she?” Natasha asks as Bucky walks back into the kitchen, a mug of coffee in her hands. She had kept her distance from you, not wanting to add pain to what parts of you were already damaged and processing. She had sent some roses to you as a small thank you, but hadn’t heard anything from you about them.
Tony, who was also drinking some of the fresh brewed coffee, perked up at the question too. He owed you everything. You had brought him back to Pepper and Morgan, giving him another chance to be the father he always wanted to be.
Bucky sighs and leans against the wall, “She’s… She’s been better. I’ve never seen her so distraught.”
“What can we do?” Tony asks, standing up. He was ready to do whatever he possibly could, “I could get her a seeing guide dog… But then you wouldn’t have anything to do.”
“Ha ha, very funny, Stark,” Bucky said with a sigh. He had been your eyes since the incident happened, making sure you were safe and trying to help you cope with figuring out life around you without your sight, “She wants to go home.”
“Living alone in the Alps isn’t a good idea for her, what if something happens and nobody’s there to help?” Natasha says with furrowed brows.
Bucky looks over at Natasha, folding his arms against his chest, “I would go with her if she let me. I’d help her.”
Natasha sighs softly and sets her coffee on the counter, staring at the dark liquid before her eyes flickered over to Bucky, “She has the power of the soul stone, unimaginable power. When word gets out that Tony and I are somehow back from the dead… There may be a target on her back. The safest place for her is here with us.”
“That we can agree on,” Tony says with a nod, “Wanda has the power from the mind stone, and I heard about the whole West View thing when she had a break down. Plus, Y/N is one of us now,” He stood up and looked around for a moment before his eyes snapped to Bucky, “What if we bring all her stuff here?”
Bucky thought about it for a moment, staring at the floor before shrugging, “That could help her feel more comfortable, I guess,” He says softly then looks to Tony, “Can you fit a tree in the jet?”
————
Quarantined
“Hey, pretty girl,” Bucky grins, “You almost home?”
“Yeah… I’m almost home…” You say softly, smiling a little to yourself at the sound of his voice.
Bucky frowns at your tone and stands up from the couch, walking towards the landing bay, “What’s going on? What happened?” He asks as he noticed a hazmat team taping off the landing zone, creating a barrier.
“John may have been exposed to the virus, Buck.” You tell him, “We’re on quarantine in the jet.” You look out the window as you landed, seeing Bucky standing there behind the quarantine zone with the phone pressed to his ear, “I’m okay, Buck. Please stop looking at me like that.”
“Let me in,” Bucky says sternly.
“I can’t…” You tell him, “This can’t get out. It’s far too easy to spread.”
Bucky clenches his jaw, staring straight at you through the window of the jet, silently just watching you for a moment before opening his mouth to speak when he heard John coughing on your end of the line.
You turn away from Bucky’s gaze, going over to make sure John is alright. He was coughing like a maniac into his arm before standing up to grab some water. A particularly hard cough wasn’t caught by his arm and saliva mixed with blood hit your face, splattering across your chin, lips, and nose. You were frozen in place in shock, if you didn’t have the virus before you sure did now.
John looked at you with wide eyes, suddenly stammering over his words trying to form an apologetic sentence.
You slowly snap out of your trance and walk over to grab one of the towels kept in a cabinet on the jet, wiping off your face after dampening it with warm water and some soap. You walk over and give John the towel to clean himself up also.
Bucky had watched the whole thing from his position outside the jet. His blood ran cold and he also was frozen in place as he studied the scene unfolding in front of him like he was stuck in one of his nightmares. He tried yelling at you on the phone, trying to get you back to the headset to talk to him. He growled when he saw you not coming to answer his pleas, dropping the phone and starting to head towards the jet.
Steve come out of the elevator to see Bucky on a dead set path to break the quarantine barrier in place and quickly runs over, grabbing onto Bucky and pushing him back, “Buck, wait. You can’t go in there.”
Bucky tears his eyes away from the jet to look at Steve, pushing him back a little bit, “She needs to get out of there!” He yells, pointing at the jet, “I need her out of there!”
Sam came into the room watching everything unfold. He looks to the jet to see you with the headset on, pointing to Bucky’s phone on the ground. He walks over and picks it up, putting it on speaker and walking over to Steve and Bucky.
“James Buchanan Barnes!” You yell through the phone, making Bucky freeze and look at the phone in Sam’s hand. You only called him by his full name when you were angry, “You can’t come in here and don’t you dare think about breaking the barrier.”
Bucky grabs the phone from Sam, turning to look back at you staring at him with fire in your eyes, “Baby… you need to get out of there. Or I need to come in there… I need to make sure you’re okay.”
“Don’t.” You tell him, “Stark is going through the information we have and Bruce is in contact with the CDC and medical team to try to get a vaccine figured out.” You went silent for a moment the continued, “Besides… There’s a good chance I’m infected. You saw…”
“Yeah,” Bucky says so softly it’s barely audible. He realized he couldn’t be the one to panic, not when he could hear the fear in your voice. He puts the phone off speaker mode and presses it to his ear, looking up at you through the front of the jet, “I’m going to go to one of the briefing rooms call you through the system there… That way I can see everything.”
You scrunch your nose and look down at your hands, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” You say softly, “I don’t want you to see whatever happens.”
“Hey,” Bucky says, bringing your eyes back to meet his through the windshield, “Everything is going to be okay. I’ll be with you through everything. You’re gonna be alright, doll.”
———
Amended
Bucky knocks on your door gently, waiting to hear any response. When he didn’t get one, he slowly opened your door which he had disabled the locks on, just in case, “Snips, everything okay?” He asks, setting down the tray of food on your dresser. You weren’t in your room and he could see the light pouring out of the bathroom door connected to your room, he could hear your strained breathing and that made panic course through his veins. He walks over to the bathroom door and knocks softly, causing the door to swing open a little more until he could see you. You were only wearing a sports bra and had a white towel stained in red pressed to your side.
Your eyes snapped up from the towel you held against your side to Bucky as the door moved. You reached under the counter of the bathroom, grabbing the hidden gun and pointing it at him, your body trembling as you stare at him with wide eyes.
Bucky immediately put his hands up, not wanting to seem threatening to you. He thought he had cleaned out all your weapons, but he might have missed a few, “I made you dinner,” he quickly said, pointing one thumb behind his shoulder to your dresser where the tray sat, “Your favorite, spaghetti.”
You stay still for a moment, staring at him as the gun shook in your hands due to you not knowing what to do. Should you shoot him? Lower your weapon? You took a deep breath and put the gun down on the counter before returning to tending to the wound to your right side, pressing the towel harder against your skin with a soft hiss. The shower you had taken caused the fresh wound to open up, bleeding profusely.
Bucky frowned when he heard your breath hitch when pressing the towel firmer to whatever wound you had. He looked to the towel before back to you, “I can help…” he says softly, taking a step closer to you followed by another, “I’ll help you clean it and stop the bleeding.”
Your eyes moved up to look at him again, searching his features for any hostility before you slowly nodded at him, relaxing a bit but keeping your eyes trained on every move he made.
Bucky let out a soft sigh of relief at your willingness to let him help, stepping closer slowly until he was standing over you, “Okay, let’s see what we have,” he murmured out, wanting to give you some type of warning that he was going to touch you. He took the towel from your grip and pulls it away slowly, but then froze, his eyes widening at the word carved into the side of your body.
As always, if you’d like to be added/removed from the taglist, let me know (:
Ohmygoodness these all sound so amazing!!!! AAAAGH!!!
Ok so I really really like It Ain’t Me but that sounds super super angsty, so I’m not going to vote for it rn.
Resurrection looks really good, but I’m not one hundred percent sure what the fic will be like so ig I’m not gonna vote for that either.
Quarantine sounds great but I’m not desperately going to be waiting for how it ends cuz I can only imagine it going two ways.
But Amended??? Holy shit, that snippet was amazing. I have so many questions, lmao. Like did WS take over Bucky to go make ‘Amends’ and he found reader and marked her off as amended ON HER BODY???
Or is reader really unstable rn and after she saw Bucky making amends, decided to do some herself? Like maybe she thought selfharm would be proper penance, or maybe she’s had issues with self harm before and she carved that into her side as a final act before attempting to quit self harm forever?
IDK AND I NEED ANSWERS!!! lmao
So yeah, I’m gonna vote for Amended.
As always, you write some of my favorite plot lines, and they’re always so addictive.
Y'all need to go give her masterlist a visit
Anyway, I’m gonna be waiting for these impatiently (respectfully)
