#tw depressing thoughts
it looked like i was losing weight but the scale is telling me otherwise.
one day ill be small enough.
I want to pre face this by saying I’m not suicidal before someone try’s to offer me the number for a hotline or whatever.
I’m at a point where I feel like I’m running out of options and I can’t keep going. I don’t shower one day to the next and I don’t sleep either.
Today I requested my GP start me on bridging HRT (testosterone) as I won’t be able to go to a NHS gender identity clinic for years because of how long the waiting lists are.
The problem is I worked myself up so much to ask that if now I don’t get the outcome I need I’m going to struggle. I already struggle everyday, in the past few months I’ve lost 15 lb because of my mood effecting my appetite. I’m loosing the ability to do things every day because of my lack of sleep and food as well as my already low mood. I’m really struggling and I can’t cope.
I’ll force myself to keep going because I have too but it’s getting harder each day and all I want is to just turn to dust and become a distant uncared about memory to my loved ones but that’s not possible. I feel trapped and I don’t know what to do.!
This is a vent post and I want to reiterate I am not suicidal. I have no intention of committing suicide but I am struggling and needed to vent my emotions right now.
I wanted to update. I’m still in this headspace and my doctor did hours of research and unfortunately the GMC updated their advice so unfortunately he can’t unless he gets the go ahead from a specialist now which I’ll have to pay for or wait longer for the clinic.
At the moment I’m working on saving to pay for my appointment because I need this.
I want to pre face this by saying I’m not suicidal before someone try’s to offer me the number for a hotline or whatever.
I’m at a point where I feel like I’m running out of options and I can’t keep going. I don’t shower one day to the next and I don’t sleep either.
Today I requested my GP start me on bridging HRT (testosterone) as I won’t be able to go to a NHS gender identity clinic for years because of how long the waiting lists are.
The problem is I worked myself up so much to ask that if now I don’t get the outcome I need I’m going to struggle. I already struggle everyday, in the past few months I’ve lost 15 lb because of my mood effecting my appetite. I’m loosing the ability to do things every day because of my lack of sleep and food as well as my already low mood. I’m really struggling and I can’t cope.
I’ll force myself to keep going because I have too but it’s getting harder each day and all I want is to just turn to dust and become a distant uncared about memory to my loved ones but that’s not possible. I feel trapped and I don’t know what to do.!
This is a vent post and I want to reiterate I am not suicidal. I have no intention of committing suicide but I am struggling and needed to vent my emotions right now.
Having depression and ed fucking sucks like, “ill be happy when im skinnier”, but then its like “will I?” or even when ever i “over eat” (a simple 600 cal meal) because im feeling really sad and trying to cope i feel like a fat shit and like im never going to reach my goal weight and then i fall into another depressive state.
guys im planning on becoming emancipated but im so scared, it feels like everything around me is collapsing. im trying to escape an abusive home but i feel bad for wanting to leave my abuser, even after years of manipulation.
Hello, I’m p0L, and this is my portfolio
As a contemporary artist I’m not really focused on t3cnique, now I’m just in the mood of exploration
All this black and withe, circus phase is a expression of damage, but now I can paint nice clowns.
This was a WIP for a zine
Thank you very much.
Type these words in the tags and see what comes up:
- op
- wait
- mom
- up
- really
- need
- tho
- dude
- we
i have been feeling the most depressed i ever have in my life (fatigue, hopelessness, nausea, basically just not vibing) and i really don’t know where it’s coming from but i realized that i hadn’t listened to any music at all (save les mis bc i gotta) in literally like 2-3 weeks and as soon as i hit play i’m feeling so much better wtf
“Do you ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing didn’t happen?”
I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I’m so lost.
How can I love someone new when every night I dream of you.
Life feels like a war I’m pretty sure I’m losing.
It’s so fucking tiring to pretend to be okay all the time.
The worst place in the world is in my own head
I just want all of this to end…
I really don’t know why I keep hoping things will get better.
Maybe I’m not invisible, maybe I’m excruciatingly visible and just completely ignored.
So many people said I wasn’t alone but where were they when I needed someone?
