one day ill be small enough.

I hate being sick because in order to take medicine you’re suppose to eat something so I ate some grapes and half a piece of toast but now I feel like I ruined the whole day lol like wtf ??

How tf do I get skinny calves ?? Like this shit is whack

I really wanted toast with peanut butter and banana this morning so I just ate half a small banana and a little bit of peanut butter then chugged a water bottle, I’m pretty proud of that

Okay does anyone else have this problem where it’s not their stomach/ waist that is the problem area but the legs?? I stg my legs are so fat, not just my thighs but my calves too. When I was bigger I was called slim thick and I know some people want that but I don’t I just want to be THIN and I look at thinspo and so many of them have thin legs and I just want that so bad.. I’m hoping once I start cycling I’ll finally have it..

Everyone in my family kinda knows about my eating disorder but the fucked up part is we all have disordered eating, so when I lose more weight my mom will start insulting me and now I gained a little weight but I’m starting to lose again to get back to my lowest weight but everyone makes comments now to make sure I’m eating it’s so sick here. I hate it. I just want to lose weight in peace

I don’t even drink the coffee I used to like and get all the time because it has more calories. It’s okay tho I’ve come to like the taste of almond milk

Tomorrow is my sisters birthday so I’m gonna try to eat under 600 cals today, then tomorrow I’ll fast for the whole day so I can enjoy the cake and food with my family, I am the oldest (we don’t talk about my older sister) and I know they all struggle with bad eating habits, so I don’t want them to see me starve myself, if I could just disappear and come back 20 pounds lighter without them noticing I would 100%

Bruh idk how but I binged an entire box of cheezits last night and lost 2 pounds??

Maybe if I was thinner people would wanna be my friend.. I don’t have friends, I’ve never had girl friends that I could hang out with, I’ve been bullied my whole life and at this point I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with me. What the fuck is wrong with me

I don’t want to look healthy I want to look sick.

Alright I’m now losing just by eating less, once I get a bike I’m going sicco mode

What really sucks is growing up with an Ed mom cuz when I was bigger she would compliment my body like “ oh u have such a nice figure” blah blah blah but as I got thinner those compliments turned into insults, “you’re too thin” “u don’t eat.” “Anorexic.” She would say it in such a hateful tone… I want to get back to my lowest weight I just gotta ignore her comments but it’s hard..

I don’t even want to be skinny for aesthetic reasons anymore. I need to be skinny. I need to be underweight I need someone to see that I am struggling so much mentally but I cannot talk about it.

I think I’m mentally insane

I’ve done my body so wrong man… I’m sorry I am constantly putting you through hell I wish I could be healthy and normal

i didn’t binge yesterday but i didn’t restrict either and i ate too much but also not enough to be considered a normal daily intake so where does that leave me? still angry with myself

HELLO ED TUMBLR I NEED UR ATTENTION

❤️ Pls rate how disordered my breakfast is from 1 - 10 ❤️

Thank you

TW - Weight and Calories

My weight training class required my bmi so I had an excuse to weigh myself

I am now 113.2 lbs:)

.2 lbs away from my lw

Next gw 110 lbs

My only food for today will be Vegie Straws with the total being 360 And 8 carrots being 32

For a grand total of 392 (400) which is…pretty disappointing on my part tbh. I now have to do 2-3 rounds of my exercise routine.

I said that yesterday but could only do 2 cause my stomach hurts soooooo incredibly bad after I exercise now n my back shoulder area hurts and I feel achy and in a lil bit of pain

edalje:

relapsing 4 him

I want him to be impressed how light I am when he lifts me

robotseatskarks:

i want to be so tiny that someone describes me as “ 100 lbs soaking wet”

YO I’ve been described as 90 pounds soaking wet at like 105 pounds lol.

I am 5‘0 so that probably plays a factor but I’m still chasing that high.

April Stats

Before weight: 158,4 lbs

After weight: 145,6 lbs

Weight lost: 12,8 pounds

Goal Weight for May: 130 pounds

i am a failure

i keep gaining weight even tho i’m not eating that much

do i need to fucking stop taking my meds again and go crazy just to lose something fuckin weight???

anyone looking for a snapchat ana buddie? we can do diets together and motivate each other to work out and stuff:) DM me or comment if you want to

i just can’t use instagram cuz my bf is logged into my account

i want to fast

i want to excessively workout

i want to eat 500 cals a day

but i just can’t anymore. my body can’t handle it anymore and it really sucks

i’ve been putting my body through so much in the past 5 years and is so horrible feeling the effects of it finally catch up to you

I am feeling like purging is so addicting and usually when i stop purging i’ve begun to keep going instead and ahhh

body checking

i hate my body all i can see is the fat on my stomach near my ribs

i’ve been told by my doctor that i need to eat healthier so i’m gonna make myself a meal plan of things i can eat and things i can’t eat

ate too much today again but oh well

does anyone have any tips for staying on track?

also i almost had to the ER for shakes and almost passing out. anyone know how to stop that?

i know i’m relapsing back into my ed when i stand up and this is what i see :