#ace stuff

angelsnhufflepuffs:

nkvictory:

You know what, I can totally get behind the whole monster-fucker thing despite being aroace because I’m aroace. The reasons are twofold:

One, unlike most sexual relationships that get foisted on me in media, monster-fuckers will take the time to actually establish an emotional connection between the characters that I can truly see as the basis for a healthy relationship.

And, two, sex is already weird as hell to me. It might as well include tentacles.

someone finally broke down the experience.

kriss-watches-stuff:

cobraonthecob:

slenders1ckn3ss:

atasteforsuicidal:

deltasylvania:

queenjulia24:

HOLD UP HOW WAS I NOT AWARE OF THIS

was gonna leave my comment in the tags but tbh i’m silent enough about this as it is.

seeing stuff like this is so upsetting because these terms were well known and widespread in the ace community but because of exclusionists many people stopped using terms like this because they felt uncomfortable and unsafe.

i loved these terms when i was in highschool, i loved the feeling of community, but i lost that because i didn’t feel comfortable openly and proudly calling myself asexual.

they’ve hurt so many people and damaged our community badly and i will never forgive them for that. we deserve to use our own terminology and feel safe within our community.

sometimes i notice i haven’t seen “grace” (grey-ace) in a while and consequently wonder if i made it up.

I remember ppl - even other ace ppl - saying the card suit thing was “cringey” and “straight ppl aren’t gonna take us seriously” (sounds familiar?) So i guess the community wound up abandoning it. We were also having severe issues at the time with aces being stereotyped as “childish/immature” for associating things like cake, dragons, and space with asexuality, plus in general as most aces just don’t “get” allosexual things in media and irl. We were starting to be viewed as ignorant, virginal, childish, losers, etc. I haven’t seen an ace-cake thing in a good while now.

This was the infancy of exclusionary influence on us. I didn’t realize it did more damage than just closeting us. Whole symbols and terms have been lost. Community has been lost.

I remember three-four years ago I got myself into the ace community on Insta, and I came across these terms. People in these circles would talk about cake, space, dragons, and the black ring on the middle finger. Then, a year or two later, ace content fizzled out (I thought it was Insta’s algorithm figuring out that I knew all this and didn’t bring me the old stuff) and young aces had no idea what any of these were - including the black ring. Finding out young aces had no idea what the black ring meant nearly snapped my heart in two - I proudly wore the black ring, I drew characters with it, and it was my quiet way of communicating to others what my sexuality was. I was baffled at the lack of knowledge - and it turns out that exclusionists got their hands into our community and snuffed us out. 

Anyways, we need to bring this back. I thought the card suite thing was cool, it taught people the different ways people can experience attraction, I loved making jokes about preferring cake, I loved wearing the black ring and talking about it with my fellow queer people at my highschool QSA club. 

I’m sorry, people don’t know about the cake or ring anymore? I remember being welcomed with spams of cake gifs, photos, and MS Paint drawings. I also distinctly remember that the block solo ring in the midle was meant as reference to the Ace of Spades (black, solo, middle of card). Only thing I didn’t know was that other aces could represent a more refined nuance. Let’s see if we can get this all rolling again.

Welcome to anyone who is interested in helping with the culture revival.

thoughtlessthinkythoughts:

zymomonasmobilis:

aegosexual-moments:

acespec-ed:

You might be sexually attracted to that person if…

- You think sexual thoughts about the person out of nowhere

- You feel aroused upon seeing the person outside of a sexual setting

- You find yourself wondering what the person is like in bed and what their genitals look like 

- You want to have sex with that person because your body is screaming for sex with that one person in particular.

- Seriously though if you’re already horny and that person is there you will feel all hot and sexually aroused and might drool a bit and fantasies of doing X-rated things to that person will fly through your mind and your body will literally be screaming for that person to take you or for you to take that person. Even just thinking about that person while horny can do this to you.

- TMI but if you get off while fantasizing about you having sex with that person, the orgasms can be absolutely mind-blowing and may even give you leg cramps.

- You really do “just know.”

You might not be sexually attracted to that person if…

- You make a conscious effort to fantasize about sex with that person, mainly to see if you actually want to

- You feel aroused during a sexual situation, but that arousal has more to do with the activities instead of the specific person. Alternatively, you just don’t feel aroused at all.

- You feel aroused at random, but it’s directed towards no one

- You want to have sex with that person because you want to make them happy or are just horny and want to get off with a partner or want babies or want money or literally any other reason aside from your body screaming for sex with that one person in particular.

- TMI but if you try to get off while fantasizing about you having sex with that person, you may get bored and start thinking of other things. Or, you may start fantasizing about that person doing sexual things that don’t involve you in which case aegosexual might be worth looking into.

- You just don’t know.

If the “you might be sexually attracted” list boggles your mind, you are possibly asexual.

If the “you might not be sexually attracted” list boggles your mind, you are possibly not asexual.

If you can relate to the “might not be sexually attracted” list, but also feel like you’ve experienced some of the things on the “might be sexually attracted” list, it may be worth checking out some acespec identities.

(Disclaimer: This is strictly based off of my own experiences as acespec and is meant to be a guide for people questioning sexual attraction. Overall, you know yourself best and I’m not gonna tell you what you’re feeling or how to identify.)

These types of lists are always so helpful!

A big one too, I think is, you may fantasize, but the people in your fantasies are never YOU. They’re fictional characters or your OCs but they’re never you specifically. And if they are it’s an idealized version of you.

That top list makes me realize I’ve never experienced any of that, it’s kinda like when I stumbled into an ask Reddit about what sexual attraction felt like and I went “yeah, I have never felt THAT way and whatever I feel isn’t sexual attraction”

here it is, the info I’ve always wanted to see, breaking down attraction vs not-attraction in intense, analytical detail

Here’s a few more for aces who do experience aesthetic attraction and who aren’t repulsed, because goodness knows these are the ones that confused me when I was figuring things out.

If you have sexual fantasies that involve things being in a certain situation or having things done to you, but you aren’t visualizing anything or imagining specific people, you might not experience sexual attraction

If you’ve ever had the thought “masturbation is better than sex because it is more efficient and skips the boring bits,” you might not experience sexual attraction.

If you find someone attractive, but the thought of seeing them with their clothes off isn’t more attractive, it probably isn’t sexual attraction. (A naked body is just a naked body. But people are so lovely when in a look they’ve picked out to express themselves.)

If you occasionally notice body parts considered sexual and think they look nice, but do not want to do anything sexual related to those parts, it might not be sexual attraction. (I will occasionally think someone has nice boobs or a nice butt, and I assumed that was sexual attraction for a long time. But I’ve learned that for allo people, thinking those things leads to them having a response of “therefore I want to tap that” which is absolutely baffling to me. Also, again, those thoughts don’t lead to “and therefore I want to see them without clothing.”

If your response to something that seems to be making others horny is very similar to your response to those videos of “oddly satisfying” things, it might not be sexual attraction.

I’m at Ace Hardware, so I figured it was appropriate.

*NO REPOSTS/NO BIGOTS*

Which of these ACEs do you like? Team Cats? Team Skulls? or the Kitty Skull Combo?

Find these spookies & cuties at Irenekohstudio

ALT

A customer reached out recently to request for aegosexual pride kitties sticker.

To be honest, I had wanted to create a aegosexual pride cats design 3 years ago.

it was challenging because the overall shape of the kitty stack is too thin and long for the pattern of the flag.

I did it with bats instead.

Not perfect but I was able to make use of their wings and the relative size of their heads to show a subtle inverted triangle without looking too forced or weird.

The customer was happy to have the bats instead. And I am happy that she’s happy.

xoxo,

Irene

Kawaii Shop:IreneKohstudio

coping-via-clint-eastwood:

Gil Grissom is demisexual!

merlin-bunny:

azaleecalypso:

callie-quite-contrary:

skidar:

kyogre-blue:

overlycaffeinateddreamer:

faun-songs:

knightarcana:

deamortis66:

IM LAUGHING SO HARD I DIDNT THINK SEXUAL DESIRE WAS A REAL THING LIKE I ALWAYS SAW PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY WANTED SEX BUT I THOUGHT THEY WERE JOKING OR EXAGGERATING OR SOMETHING THATS WHY IT WAS SO HARD FOR ME TO REALIZE I WAS ACE BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WENT WITHOUT SAYING SEX ISNT THAT IMPORTANT IM 19 YEARS OLD I CANT STOP LAUGHING LITERALLY 99% OF THE POPULATION EXPERIENCES SEXUAL DESIRE AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE

This is pretty much the definition of being an ace person, tbh, and I’m so glad.

#I thought it was an exaggeration for literal years (viasonickitty)

this is literally the #that sounds fake but okay meme im dying

#ME#I THOUGHT SEXUAL ATTRACTION WAS RARE#AKA#HOW TO FIND OUT YOU’RE DEMI (via @miseryauthoress)

Honestly, every single cheating plotline never made sense because “but why do you have to have sex with them? just don’t??”

^^^^ Every single cheating plot line ever I was like: What is so hard about keeping your pants on what is your problem??

…do you have any idea how hard it is to do literary criticism that will get published when your reaction to at least 75% of character motivations is this makes no sense whatsoever why do they even care? 

When people ask you why you don’t date someone just to try, and when you answer that well you’re not interested in that person, they explain that usually you don’t like the person at first, but you might fall in love after having dated a little while

and you’re just?????? but what?????????? is the point of dating someone if you don’t like them?????????????? 

what do you mean the point is making out and sex????????? why would i want to do that with someone i don’t already like?????????

I have literally experienced all of these.

campyfreak:

shoutout to aros and aces and aro aces this june btw

lukasspookas:

projecting onto my fav owl house characters because i want to and you can’t stop me

wheeloffortune-design:

varangianviper:

martivist:

wheeloffortune-design:

CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ABOUT BISEXUALITY

that purple in the middle is not the right saturation, it doesn’t fit with the other two colors and it drives me crazy.

all right, I think I got this, I’ve got dual citizenship and I have another flag we can borrow from:

step 1

step 2

step 3

This is true bi/ace solidarity.

animatedglittergraphics-n-more:

aropride:

aropride:

i hate ace exclusionists. Grow Up

if its 2022 and ur still going “stupid aceys trying to invade my REAL lgbt space” idk what to tell u. ur a loser

solitarelee:

indelibility:

pyromaniac-fairy-of-water:

redrikki:

asexual-musings:

asexual-musings:

no one:

asexuals before realizing they’re ace: isn’t it weird how we call people “hot” when we just mean, like, pretty? it makes it sound like you actually feel hot when you see them. which isn’t a thing. anyway

ok i am absolutely losing it over the sheer number of people who found out what hot means from this post

Man, this is like the time my therapist explained that watching characters with “chemistry” is supposed to make you feel aroused. Who knew, right?

I’m sorry what?

I thought it was supposed to make you intrigued like any other plot device

My favorite genre of reality is when allos talk about a thing that happens to them specifically, assuming it’s a universal experience, and confuse the absolute ever-loving SHIT out of every asexual in the room. 

transfaabulous:

eruvadhril:

findingfeather:

colubrina:

rederiswrites:

Honestly I should talk about the ace experience more. I don’t see enough. Like–obviously it’s dehumanizing to be repeatedly compared to robots or aliens but uh…sometimes it feels like that?? 

My husband will get all horny while I’m, I don’t know, changing out of sweaty gardening clothes. And I’ll be like, “But we have to make lunch?? I stink? Now is not a good time?? Logic?” And clearly it’s not about logic to him. He is experiencing the entire scenario very differently. And I’m here like, 

Or the times where you realize that like, having an actual physiological reaction to attractive people is not some enculturated metaphor, and people are actually doing that all around you all the time, and you’re like, Ah, clearly my studies of human culture have been incomplete. I have missed a critical psychosocial component. Many things now appear in a different light. *takes notes on holopad*

friend: he’s so gorgeous I just want to lick him

me: that seems unsanitary

I’m demi in that really specific classic way where the entire standard allosexual-norm range of Attraction™ kicks in with the Right Person™†, and I have experienced this, which means I have this hilarious bridging ability where on the one hand yes I do know what that entire Physiological Suite of Responses is like (and yes it is just that insane) and yet on the other hand I’m still looking at actual allosexuals and I’m like, your life must be so exhausting. Like the times that this has happened to me derailed my entire life, and yet you seem to have this happening every third day, this is absurd.

And it happens to them with people they don’t even LIKE, sometimes! WILD. 

[†what are the parameters of Right Person? Fucked if I know - I know what’s NECESSARY, but not what’s SUFFICIENT. :palms up shrug!: 

#i thought those thirsty comments were the same level of saying ‘rolling on the floor laughing’ #you’re not actually doing that and was just some overdramatization (via mythgirl07)

I’m aroallo and I get this exact experience but from the inverse side of things, and let me tell you, it doesn’t get any less weird from this side

bogleech:

bogleech:

genuine curiosity, do ace people know that sexual urge is marked by an actual distinct physical sensation (what people call horniness etc.) of its own, which you can’t really describe like anything else? Like how being hungry or thirsty or tired or excited all have unique and distinct sensations to them? I say this because when this came up on facebook earlier there were multiple comments like “huh? What sensation? It’s never felt like anything to me” and that’s how those people discovered today that they might be asexual

loads of notes right off the bat from people who didn’t know! Yeah guys if you have a “sex drive” it’s like not just thought patterns but a weird full body feeling which is neither good nor bad but can become very distracting and nagging, making it difficult to care about anything else until you actually do what it wants you to do, specifically with another person, which then replaces the urgent fixation with a “high” that’s also not really comparable to anything else.

It seems like some people still get this but are asexual in the sense that they just don’t need other person. With the typical full blown drive, you really can’t completely satisfy it and experience the high again by yourself, but can only kind of quiet it down a little for maybe a day. If you don’t have any frame of reference for that then I’d imagine the average person’s desperate obsession with everything sexy really must be baffling to witness out of context.

arowitharrows:

You’re allowed to find pride in your asexuality and aromanticism. I know it can be difficult, between people not knowing or believing it exists and people who might accept that it exists but will always see it as pitiful and insignificant, something to be silent about, something shameful or “tmi”, something to mention as an afterthought. But aromanticism will always be far more complex and far-reaching and life altering and significant than people who brush it off as “doesn’t date” are able to understand, and asexuality will always be more nuanced and eye-opening and liberating than people who brush it off as “doesn’t have sex” will ever understand. You’re allowed to find meaning in these labels and in the communities surrounding them, and you’re allowed to show pride for who you are.