#ace positivity
Did this for international asexuality day over on twitter
Happy Ace Day! Eat as much cake and garlic bread you like!!! Calories don’t count today!!!!!!!
Also, today is my parents’ anniversary! They’ve been married for thirty-eight years, and together for forty.
I don’t want to preach, but if you are ever afraid because you are asexual. If you have a relationship that isn’t based on romantic love. Mom is asexual. She also said no to my dad’s proposals three times because she wasn’t in love with him, and she was and still is repulsed by sex.
When Dad asked the fourth time, my mom broke down in tears. Because she didn’t want to break his heart, because she still cared about him so damn much even if what she felt wasn’t romantic love. Because the only reason she would have sex with him or anyone was because she wanted to have her own children. And you know what?
Dad still wanted to be with her, from the time he was eighteen until they both were ready for the grave. Because he didn’t want to ever be without his best friend in the whole damn world. Mom meant that much to him.
I can count on one hand how many times my parents have ever kissed in front of me, and every time was on the cheek. But their hugs are the most heartfelt you’ll ever see. When they laugh together, you know there’s a deep love between them. They truly are each other’s best friends.
So congrats, Mom and Dad! For always being there for each other, for me and my brother, and for my husband and our friends. You are both amazing, wonderful people, and I am so glad that you found one another.
Ace parents exist?! And are happy?! I feel so much better!! I never hear about happy settled grownup ace people!
Ace people can start a family and have children! Here it is from one child!
Keep your head up, you aren’t doomed.
You are perfect the way you are and you can start a family, if you want, there is someone out there.
The thing about lack of sexual attraction is that you’ll have friends who say things like, “Omg did you see that person’s *assets*?”
and you’ll stand there like, “….was I supposed to?”
I was remembering how earlier this year I was using the labels “homoromantic asexual” or “ace lesbian” to describe myself. For a few months, those labels helped me understand the lesbian experience and how I related to it and ultimately to know if I was really a lesbian or not. I knew I was asexual and I was sure of that part of me, but… romantic attraction was always more complicated to understand bc I didn’t know if I had felt it or not.
I was sure that I didn’t feel attracted to men at all (romantically or sexually) but women… it had me wondering; aesthetic attraction and all haha. Hence, why the lesbian label helped me understand that. I came to understand that I do experience platonic and emotional attraction very strongly towards women/female aligned people but it has never been romantic in nature. Eventually, I learned I’m an aromanticasexual person. I’ve never experienced romantic attraction and I had mistook it for platonic attraction towards my similar gender all along. I had never desired a romantic partner either, it was more of the idea of one. But I’ve never felt that desire directed at someone specific, regardless of gender.
I guess I’m writing this for anyone out there that needs it: it’s okay to be confused, it’s okay to be wrong and think you’re x when you’re actually z. It’s okay to try on different labels and find the ones that describe your experience better, the ones that you’re comfortable with. It’s okay. I promise
Yea I went through something similar.
My crush on that one girl faded over the holidays and when I realized, I was baffled for a moment. That had never happened before.
But looking back at my “feelings”, I realized I was right every time I said it wasn’t a crush. It truly wasn’t.
I just admire that girl A LOT, I still do. But those weren’t romantic feelings nor seggsual attraction. It was just me “forcing” myself to put those unnamed emotions into a perfectly labeled box, as per usual.
Plus, I have a history of always having someone to “obsess over” in order to excuse myself for not paying attention in class or to procrastinate stuff I’m supposed to be doing.
Truth is, I’m way happier when I’m “crush-free” and not thinking of someone at all. I wish I could uninstall this need to have “an object of affection” when I just don’t want to have it.
OP is right. It’s okay to think that you’ve finally found the labels that suit you and later to realize that they don’t fit as well as you thought. It’s okay to skim through multiple labels until you find the right one(s). Or not. Deciding to stay sans-label isn’t a bad thing either.
Good thing queer exists, I use it for more often than you think
at this point is so obvious I’m asexual. people around me would notice if they were educated, seriously
this.
Happy asexual awareness week my dudes
jesus christ is canonically asexual
The idea that we all have a fixed sexual identity has created a toxic environment for learning about asexuality and aromanticism, Attraction is far too complex to be constrained within the Western labels created to define (and pathologize) our experiences.
An absence of sexual and/or romantic attraction does not imply that a person has “no attraction” or desires lifelong solitude. Attraction functions on multiple levels and in a multitude of ways.
•Sexual attraction: sexual desire based on attraction to another person
•Romantic attraction: desire to form a romantic relationship based on attraction to another person
An absence of these forms is not an absence of attraction. Relationships also dont have to be sexual/romantic.
The idea of “romance” itself is a social construct relative to how Western society has defined courtship practices. “Love” (an equally complex, yet broader, concept) should not be conflated with “romance.” Romance should not function as an expectation of a “healthy” relationship.
The naturalization of (hetero)sexual and (hetero)romantic expectations (that this form of sexual/romantic attraction and desire are natural and “normal”) came to be as a result of colonialism. What society sees as human “truths” are largely accepted products of violence.
Recognizing how a societal expectation has become naturalized (rather than just accepting it) is important because it’s important to ask why things are the way that they are when what is now understood to be “natural” negatively constricts the complexity of human experience.
Demisexual Problem 72 (sent in)
Having a therapist, someone you trust with all your might with everything else, not know the difference between demisexuality and demiromanticism
Demisexual Problem 71 (sent in)
Finally finding someone who you connect with and being awkward and nervous with physical romance because you’ve never been able to build those skills.
You’ve heard of Pansexuals, Bisexuals, and Aces, now get ready for
Respecting their sexuality
Demisexual Problem 70
Sometimes you want to make sweet love to (almost) all of your most intimate friends
Demisexual Problem 69
You only want romance and cuddles; they also want sex
Demisexual Problem 68
Masturbation can be difficult if you don’t feel sexually attracted to anyone
Demisexual Problems 67
Even if you don’t feel sexual attraction for anyone, you get horny anyway
So, the New York Times took knowledge of us. This is wonderful!
Demisexual Problem 66
Sometimes you fall for friends who aren’t interested, and there is always that weird damage control
Demisexual Problem 65
It is very difficult to explain to people who don’t experience attraction the same way.
Demisexual Problem 64
There’s almost nowhere to meet people in ~adulthood~ that meets our comfort level
