Summary: Virgil’s jacket has had been making a habit out of disappearing lately, Virgil finally decides to investigate.
Virgil’s room was a mess. Well, more of a mess than usual. For the last hour he’d been tearing the place apart looking for his hoodie. He knew he’d tossed it over one of the chairs he had in his room, he always put it there. When he woke up though, it was nowhere to be found. This wasn’t the first time either, there had been several times where he found himself in this exact situation. He’d wake up without his jacket and some random point in the day it would show up again. He was tired of it.
Most days it wouldn’t bother him, he’d gone around the mindscape without his hoodie plenty of times. Today though, today was one of those days where he needed the extra security. He was more on edge than usual and the jacket was another layer to hide behind.
ao3: “it goes swish swish” rating: T genre: fluff warnings: analogical, food description: Virgil goes grocery shopping with his boyfriend. (day 3 prompts: jacket/jam, @analogicalweek)
Today is grocery day.
Logan has written a list, and Virgil’s checked it twice (and stealthily added more than one unhealthy and/or sugary thing to it before Logan crossed it out in pen and said “it isn’t healthy, Virgil” and Virgil said “that’s the point”).
Virgil bounces on his toes, his hands stuffed in the pocket of his hoodie as he waits for Logan to be ready. He likes spending time with Logan however he can get it, and grocery shopping day feels like their own personal bubble. Plus, this time is special.
Summary: The almost nightly visits from one regular customer, was one of the only things Virgil was looking forward to anymore during his shifts at the convenience store. Though for his co-worker Remus, it had become agonizing to bare witness to his friend’s neverending pining without taking the step to ask him out.
“C’mon Vee, you practically have no excuses anymore!”
Virgil consciously decided not to respond, and instead blew a strand of his hair out of the way that was waving in front of his eyes. He pathetically failed by the way, which only drew more of his blabbermouth of a colleague’s attention towards him. What did it take for him to just restock the Mars bars sold on the counter in peace? Virgil should be awarded employee of the month for putting up with -
“E-Vee-nescence, ya listening?” Just when he finished rearranging the snack bars to make them look somewhat more presentable to customers than its employees were, Virgil felt a nail pricking into his left cheek. “Beevee, e-boy, Gerard Gay-”
“Remus, for fuck’s sake!” Virgil snapped way louder than he meant to. He could count himself lucky there weren’t any customers this time of night, or he’d truly want to sink out into the floor and never see the light of day again. But for now, for Remus to truly get off his back, he’d have to face him.
His face still flushed red from yelling, Virgil slapped Remus’ hand away from his cheek and sharply turned his head to his left. There Remus was, hand in his chin while leaning on the counter, eyes twinkling and grinning without a care in the world. Sporadically, Virgil caught himself wishing he’d have his confidence and just not give a shit about other people’s opinions. About whether his hair looked like a mess, like Remus’ for example, now that his undercut and green highlights were starting to grow out.
“I’m just sayin’, all this pining you’re doing gets insufferably boring after two weeks,” Remus said while unabashedly wringing his finger past his septum piercing to pick his nose. Virgil wouldn’t put it past him to have boogers sticking all over his mustache, at this rate.
“I’m… building up courage,” Virgil mumbled, straightening out his ugly orange uniform. He glanced around the small boxed convenience store, lucky not to find any new people wandering around yet. “Because, you know, he’s obviously gonna reject me.”
Idk, I feel like this would make more sense with Virgil still being a ‘Dark side’ and Logan still not having a grasp upon the concept of emotions.
As symbolic representation, Virgil is shrouded in shadows whilst Logan is enveloped in the light.
BTW, don’t ask what Virgil is holding. I just wanted him to hold something so the hand wouldn’t look weird. It’s a necklace saying “I <3 u” Coz I was gonna make it angsty before I decided to not have them be lovers
Analogical Week 2022- Day 2 Crush/Confession(abit of both(?))
Basically drew this as Logan realising his romantic feelings toward Virgil. Noticing these feelings are causing him to stall and procrastinate on work he has decided today is the day to confess, however those same feelings make it hard to do the one thing they’ve been screaming at Logan to do. Causing this standstill we see in the drawing
Virgil: The human urge to ask the people around you a question you have before googling it.
Logan: It’s about the process of reasoning through a question and connecting with the people around you, but it’s also about seeing who’s right. Good sportsmanlike fun.
Virgil has always wondered why his friend Logan wore something pink every day. It was either a wristband, necklace, tie, or even nail polish. He also wondered why Logan wanted to become a doctor ever since Virgil met him in high school. Or maybe before Logan even met Virgil.
~~~~~
Virgil and Logan were hanging out at Virgil’s house. Virgil noticed that Logan had a pink bracelet on. Logan noticed.
“What is it?” Logan asked.
“Nothing… just that I’ve always noticed you wearing something pink every day,” Virgil said. Logan just nodded. “Why though?”
Logan smiled softly and looked at the bracelet he had on. “A long time ago, both of my mothers had been diagnosed with breast cancer. One of my mothers died because of it before I went to high school. My other mother was just diagnosed with it.”
“Aren’t you sad then?” Virgil questioned. Logan shook his head.
“Not at all. I’m determined to find a cure for cancer that doesn’t involve killing off cells.” Logan said. “I just want to make my mothers proud of me.”
Virgil looked down and then stared into Logan’s eyes.
“Well, if that’s the case, I want to help you find a cure.” Virgil smiled. Logan raised his eyebrows.
“Really?” Logan looked into Virgil’s eyes.
“Of course. I want to help you in any way I can.” Virgil placed his hand on Logan’s hand. “I promise to help you find a cure, no matter what.”
Virgil softly kissed Logan’s lips. Logan kissed back. Virgil pulled away after a few moments and then leaned on Logan.
“Are you sure you want to help me?” Logan whispered.
“Of course, nerd,” Virgil said.
~~~~~
And they did find a cure. Logan found it with Virgil’s help after forty years of researching and advanced technology.
Virgil kept his promise to Logan after all those years of trying and trying again.
You can achieve great stuff if you keep on trying and never give up on it.
Another year, another party. It was the same every year for Logan. Practice the viola before, perform the viola at the party, thank the queen for letting him perform, and then go home and rest.
Every year. Always the same, boring thing.
Until it wasn’t.
~~~~~
It was the day of the party as Logan was wearing a mask to cover his face as well as carrying his viola to the platform. He stood at the center while the others were setting up their instruments.
A few minutes passed and people were already arriving. Logan cued for the others to start the music. Everyone started to dance and talk and have a great time.
Except for Logan, of course.
He wanted to experience it up close, not be on stage performing all evening. His eyes wandered the crowd as he saw a male in a tuxedo and mask going outside to the gardens.
‘Interesting…’ Logan thought as his eyes searched for the queen. She would normally be eating at the food table… and there she was, at the food table. Logan cued for the others to keep playing while he stopped and put his viola down. He walked over to the queen. She noticed him instantly.
“What is it, Logan?” She asked.
“I apologize, but suddenly I do not feel well.” Logan lied and then faked a cough.
“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that! You poor thing, you better get home and rest.” She said. Logan nodded and walked away. He made it seem like he was leaving, but then he diverged from his path and went to the gardens door. He walked out and searched for the male that went out.
The boy was sitting on a bench near the hedges and bushes and in front of the flower beds. Logan noticed that the boy had his mask off. Logan took his mask off and walked over to him.
“May I sit with you?” Logan asked, startling the boy. He put his mask on and stood up to face him. He didn’t say a word, just stared at Logan. “I have my mask off and you put yours on? This does not seem fair.”
The boy stayed silent as Logan walked up to him and flicked his mask, making the boy flinch. He looked at Logan a bit more and then slowly took his mask off again. He had messy black hair and purple eyes. His face was pale, maybe foundation. Logan couldn’t look away from him, so he just put his hand out.
“Logan,” Logan said and the boy put his hand in Logan’s.
“Um… Virgil.” He muttered. Virgil nodded.
“Can we sit down? My legs are metaphorically killing me.” Logan felt his legs hurting from standing for two hours.
“Oh, sure,” Virgil said and they both sat down on the bench.
“So, what made you come here? You definitely do not look like you like parties like this.” Logan commented.
“My friends made me come here. I do not like parties at all.”
“Ah, friends. Never really had any.”
“Oh…”
As they continued to talk, the night moved along. But to them, it felt like they’ve known each other for months; even years.
Logan looked at the nearby clock.
Midnight.
“Oh, I should go home.” Logan then stood up, only for Virgil to pull him back.
“Wait!” Virgil yelled.
“What is it?” Logan asked. Virgil stood up and fumbled with his hands.
“W-when can I see you again…?” Virgil quietly asked.
Logan smiled. “I perform at the nearby cafe. It’s not far from here.”
“The Black Lily cafe?”
“Indeed.”
“I’ve always wanted to go there, but I don’t have enough money…”
“Hm… perhaps I can order you something sometime?” Logan questioned.
“But, I don’t want you to waste your money on me,” Virgil said and looked down.
“Nonsense, it is not called 'wasting’ if I am buying it for a beguiling boy like yourself.” When Logan said that, Virgil blushed a deep red.
“N-no, I a-am n-not… whatever you just s-s-said.” Virgil crossed his arms and looked away.
Logan shrugged. “Whatever you say, the offer is still on the table. I’ll see you soon…”
Logan grabbed Virgil’s hand in his and slowly kissed the back of it. He looked up to see Virgil’s reaction. Virgil’s eyes were wide and he definitely did not expect Logan to do that.
“I’ll see you soon, Virgil,” Logan said and walked away with his mask in hand. Then he turned and dropped the mask on the ground. He strode away.
Virgil looked at his mask he dropped. He walked over to it and picked it up. He smiled and placed it close to his chest.
It was six am and Logan had been working throughout the night without a break. His fingers felt sore and were almost numb from typing for ten hours straight. He didn’t even hear the door open, he was too busy to notice.
“Logan?” A raspy voice spoke up. Probably from lack of sleep or because they were sick.
“Yes, Virgil?” Logan’s voice was raspy and cracked. He didn’t speak for over ten hours. He cleared his throat but continued to work.
“How long were you working for?” Virgil asked and rubbed his eyes. Logan looked at the clock on his computer.
“Ten…” Logan muttered.
“Ten minutes?”
Logan shook his head. “Hours.”
Virgil’s eyes widened. “Ten hours!? Logan, you really need to sleep.”
Virgil crossed his arms. Logan barely heard him since his vision was starting to go hazy. He rubbed his eyes and he felt a hand being placed on his shoulder.
“Logan. Sleep.” Virgil said. Logan’s eyes were half-way closed. Virgil sighed and decided to pick him up even though Logan was significantly taller than he was.
Virgil pulled Logan’s chair away from the desk and slowly picked him up with much struggle.
“Jesus, dude… why do you have to be the tallest?” Virgil breathed out and walked over to Logan’s bed. He not-so-gently placed Logan on his bed. “Sleep or I swear…”
“Can you at least save my work?” Logan asked. “And get me water and something to eat and more blankets a-”
“Say one more ‘and’ and I swear to god.” Virgil placed his hands on his hips. Then he went over and saved Logan’s work on his computer.
“And can you stay with me while I sleep?” Logan quietly asked.
“Lo- wait, what?” Virgil turned to Logan. Logan had his back turned to him.
“Nothing…”
“Logan? Tell me what you said.”
“…Can you stay with me while I sleep?” Logan asked again. Virgil felt his heart race from within his chest.
“Sure,” Virgil said and pulled a chair up to Logan’s bedside. He sat down and Logan turned to him. Virgil pulled the covers over Logan and took off his tie and glasses. He set them down and watched as Logan got comfortable. He settled on a position where he was facing Virgil.
Logan closed his eyes. A few minutes passed and Virgil thought Logan was asleep. He softly smiled.
“Why do I love a nerd like you…?” Virgil sighed and was surprised he got a response.
“I don’t know, why do you?” Logan asked. He opened his eyes. Virgil blushed a deep red and he felt like melting then and there.
okay i, uh, kinda didn’t know how else to draw this other than putting it into a comic so i call this “logan’s lowdown but he’s crying about not being listened to also virgil’s there lol”
AU Summary:A fall. A single fall. It may seem like nothing until it’s all consuming. What happens when the doctors struggle to diagnosis the disease responsible for Virgil’s rapid deterioration?
Characters:Virgil, Logan, Patton, Roman, and very brief mention of Sympathetic!Deceit and Remy.
Pairings: Logince & Moxiety
Warnings:Discussion of anatomy and very brief, sympathetic deceit.
Virgil’s fingers curled around the stiff fabric resting in his palms as he meandered towards the white door frame. Twisting the iron knob as he went and shutting the heavy door behind him, Virgil pressed his back against the wooden plank, eyes fixed on the gown in his tight clutch.
One breath. Two breaths. By the third breath, Virgil had rested the white fabric across the sink’s rounded edge before slowly discarding his ebony attire beside the gown. With his attire stowed precariously on the sink, Virgil reached for the dotted, white hospital gown.
With the loose-fitted gown lightly brushing against his knees, Virgil noticed an abrupt tremble in his hands. To steady his shaking grasp, he clung to the upper edges of the bathroom sink as his gaze became transfixed on the mirror. His scanning eyes discerned the dangling of his bangs over charcoal eye shadow, his lips curled into a pout, and the oscillatory movements of his hands.
Grumbling, he let his grip falter from the sink and head hang low. He needed a moment. He needed a moment before seizing his clothes and emerging into his hospital suite. Frowning, Virgil shifted as his fingers trembled above the door knob. Twisting the knob and letting the door creak open meant that there really was something wrong with him.
“Mr. Poole?” A soft knock vibrated against the wooden frame.
“Oh- uh, yeah. Sorry,” snapping out of it, Virgil yanked open the door.
“I was going to assess some of your motor and sensory skills,” Logan allowed Virgil to pass him and perch cross-legged on the bed’s edge, but Virgil’s twitchy hands didn’t allude him.
“Go ahead, doc.”
“I’m going to start by testing your reflexes with a patellar reflex test, but I’m going to need you to situate your legs so that they’re dangling over the edge of the bed,” Logan slid his fingers into a set of thin, cyan gloves.
Virgil huffed, untangling his legs, and letting his feet hang.
With gloved digits, Logan skimmed his cold fingertips across Virgil’s lower leg in search for the band of tissue extending down from the patella. A few more calculating touches under Virgil’s shin, and Logan identified the patellar tendon and femoral nerve. And with a short reflex hammer, Logan struck the tendon…. Virgil’s muscles convulsed.
“Clonus,” Logan noted, scribbling the result onto a plastic clipboard in raven ink, “let’s try testing your musculocutaneous nerve.”
“Could you flex at the elbow for me?” Logan requested as a means to identify Virgil’s bicep tendon.
Virgil nodded, complying as Logan watched and palpated the antecubital fossa.
“You can relax your arm now,” Logan attentively took Virgil’s arm into his grasp with his thumb over the tendon to strike with the reflex hammer. Again, more contractions.
“Is that normal?” Virgil wore a half-frown.
“Well, no-,” Logan paused, laying his pen across his clipboard, “a normal reaction generates an easily observed shortening of the muscle. In your case, your muscles repetitively shortened after a single stimulation, which suggests that a pathologic process is affecting peripheral nerves that results in a reflex that is abnormal.”
“…huh?”
“Your muscles convulsed, which suggests there is condition affecting your nerves, but with hand tremors present, that was to be expected.”
“Any idea what it is yet?”
“Without more testing it’s hard to say, but I postulate the issue lies within your upper motor neurons. These are the neurons that carry motor information down the spinal cord to the lower motor neurons. The information that is sent from these neurons to the lower motor neurons signals muscles to contract, thus they are the source of voluntary movement. Increased muscle tone, reflexes, and weakness would all point to lesions on your upper motor neurons, but without more testing, we cannot be sure.”
“I see.”
“Speaking of such testing, I’m going to begin evaluating your muscle tone and then your gait.”
Virgil nodded, glance cast to the side.
“To start, I’m going to need you to relax for me again,” Logan clinically solicited.
To begin testing Virgil’s upper extremity muscle tone, Logan passively rolled the joints in Virgil’s wrist and upper arm to test for rigidity. Finding some resistance, Logan apacely scrawled it onto Virgil’s charts.
“Could you lie flat on your back now?”
“Uh, sure,” Virgil swung his legs over the mattress as he slanted back.
“Now, I’m going to need you to relax,” Logan repeated, pressing his palm above Virgil’s bare ankle. Moving to Virgil’s lower leg, Logan slipped his palm under his patient’s relaxed knee to suddenly bend the shin to test lower extremity muscle tone. More resistance.
“Hmm,” Logan nodded mostly to himself, “to test your gait, I’m going to need you to walk away from me and then back towards me.”
“Okay..,” Virgil sat up, shifting his frame so his feet brushed against the tile floor.
Planting his feet on the ground, Virgil strolled from the bed to the farthest wall before ambling back in the direction of the doctor. And during this process, Logan took note of Virgil’s stance, stability, and leg stiffness. He watched Virgil’s leg swings and arm swings observantly. His eyes inspected Virgil’s degree of knee bending and his rate and speed only to note a decreased left arm swing.
“Unsteady gait,” Logan jotted down.
“I take it that’s bad?” Virgil plopped back onto the bed, picking at his black nail polish.
“It just means a walking abnormality is present.”
“And?”
“And that could be caused by underlying conditions or injuries.”
“Does that mean it could be something like Parkinson’s disease?” Virgil’s heart rate quickened.
“It’s possible,” Logan admitted, “but we just can’t be sure with the little testing we’ve done.”
“My blood test can help though, right? That’s what you said earlier.”
“It’ll help us determine a diagnosis, but it’s likely the storm will delay it a couple days,” Logan glanced at Virgil apologetically, but it came off mechanically, “Anyhow, it seems optimal to take a short break from testing now.”
Collecting up his clipboard, Logan stood in the door frame, “And in the meantime, a nurse will periodically check up on you.”
“Okay…,” Virgil sighed.
With Virgil taken care of, Logan strode down the long, achromatic hallway with his clipboard pressed up against his chest and his framed eyes fixed on the nurse’s station. His shoes squeaking against newly polished floors captured the attention of patients and doctors alike. And as he passed Dr. Whittaker reviewing a patient’s extensive charts, Logan offered him a polite smile.
Now standing over the cubed nurse’s station, Logan watched as Patton’s fingers built a bridge between words, “Salutations, Patton.”
Tearing his gaze from the new monitor, Patton grinned, “Hello, Logan.”
“I’d appreciate it if you could check up on Virgil Poole for me before your shift ends in a couple hours. Maybe take a neurological history for me?” Logan didn’t waste time with idle chatter.
“Sure thing,” Patton’s eyes and nose crinkled, “I’ll pay him a visit.”
“Thanks Pat- …Oh, Great,” Logan frowned, turning on his heel at the mere sight of Dr. Wilson’s poised approach.
“Trying to avoid me, spectacles?” Dr. Wilson tsk’d.
“Attempting to,” Logan muttered under his breath.
Feigning an offended gasp, Dr. Wilson placed his palm over his chest.
“But you adore our little chats, Lo,” he purred, inching close enough to Logan to count the careless stippling of freckles across his cheeks.
“How are you, Roman?” Patton kindly interjected, fingers resting atop black keys.
Flustered, Logan glanced down and away. He didn’t deny it.
“Much better now that Lo’s back,” Roman grinned wide like a Cheshire cat.
“I was only gone a week.”
“And a terrible week it was.”
—
Virgil peered out the frosted-over window through slats in the flimsy blinds, watching as specks of snow colored the road in ivory as the chilly air of the ceiling vent caressed his exposed skin.
“Mr. Poole?”
Virgil exhaled, shifting on the mattress to face the doorway, “more testing?”
“Just here to collect a neurological history if that’s alright,” one of Patton’s palms rested against the door frame while the other seized a clipboard.
“Go ahead, I guess,” Virgil raised his downcast eyes and shrugged slightly.
“I can come back later,” instantly noticing Virgil’s hunched posture, Patton shifted his feet to retreat.
“No- it’s fine. Ask away,” Virgil peered up before picking again at the remaining flecks of nail polish clinging to his nails.
“Okay..,” Patton reluctantly stepped into the darkened room, brows knitted into a frown, “Do you have a history of head injury or seizures?”
“Have you ever had surgery involving the nervous system?” Patton continued, pen tip pressed against papers shoved under the board’s metal clip.
“No.”
“Have you ever been treated for a neurological problem?”
Another ‘no.’
“Have you ever had a serious injury?”
“If it matters, I broke my leg when I was nine,” Virgil rested his head in his now unbusy palm, gaze flitted to his crossed legs.
“How were you treated?” Patton momentarily glanced up from the charts.
“The doc had me wear a cast and use crutches for six weeks,” Virgil shrugged. He had been sketching - sketching wolves and bluishly radiant moons in the aged tree flourishing by his hinged, bedside window when he fractured his femur. Dropping his pen from the branch had sealed Virgil’s destiny as his balance departed with his attempt to capture it.
“Do you have any residual effects from breaking your leg?”
“..No.”
Another scribble from Patton.
“Do you have any other medical problems?”
“Uh,” Virgil paused hesitantly, peering up to inspect Patton’s expression, “…anxiety.”
“What about prescriptions?” Patton inquired, tilting his head, “are you currently taking any prescribed or over the counter medications?”
“No.”
Sighing, Patton scrawled the same answer in black pen on Virgil’s messy charts, “Could you tell me about your family’s medical history?”
“Dad died of a heart attack and mom’s out of the picture,” Virgil huffed bluntly, shrugging with his eyes.
“Any brothers, sisters, or cousins?” Patton donned a half-frown.
“Nope, no, and no,” Virgil mumbled, missing the distraction that unwinding the threads of his coal-colored hoodie brought him.
“Aunts? Uncles?”
“Not that I know about.”
“Oh..,” Patton frowned.
“That all you need?” Virgil cleared his throat.
“Uh-,” Snapping out of his haze, Patton replied, “yeah.”
“That’s all I need,” He quickly clarified, rubbing the back of his neck.
As Patton turned on his heel to leave, his steps faltered. He was incapable of halting his thoughts from sprinting painfully back in time to Remy. Shaking his head, Patton stopped in his footsteps and shifted to face Virgil, “Do you, uh, have anyone that will visit you? ”
“What?” Virgil tilted his head, shoulders visibly slumping once he processed the question.
Patton knew it wasn’t his right to pry, but he asked anyway.
“I’m sorry,” Patton rapidly backtracked, “I- I really shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s whatever,” Virgil huffed, looking at his bare nails.
“I could come and check up on you occasionally if you’d like,” Patton rushed through his words.
“Uh-,” Virgil angled his head, unsure of what to make of the offer, “…sure.”
This blog is dedicated to my new Sanders Sides Hospital AU, “Behind This Mask is a Desperate Heart,” featuring Logan, Virgil, Roman, Sympathetic!Deceit, and Patton.
Here, I will post chapters, updates, sneak peaks, and answer asks about this AU. “Behind This Mask is a Desperate Heart,” will also be shared via aO3 on InspireVamp and sweetmoxiety on Instagram.
Summary: Logan finally has a chance to confront Virgil and the encounter leaves them both shattered.
Word count: 1763
Note:reading on mobile can remove the paragraphing sometimes. Use desktop site or visit my Ao3 page if it bothers you as much as it bothers me.
____________________
It felt like Logan had only just closed his eyes when his phone alarm went off. He assumed he had slept through the night, but his mind and body were still exhausted from the emotional release of the evening. In a chain reaction, they all slowly woke and began cleaning the area in an exhausted but calm silence. Roman, Patton and E were the first to head out, leaving Logan and Katie to finish the cleaning and prepare the library for the day.
“Looks like Tate will be a little late this morning,” Katie commented after hanging up her phone. “That old car is giving them trouble again.”
With a sigh, she ran a hand through her oily hair and sat up on the desk.
“Go home, Katie.” Logan offered, placing a hand on the older woman’s shoulder. “I can watch the library until Tate arrives. You’ve done more than enough already.”
The rough sleep on the floor hadn’t served Katie well and she gladly accepted Logan’s offer with a hug before leaving.
Hidden from view, Virgil watched Katie lock the backdoor and waited patiently for her to pull away before going to let himself in. His evening on the street had left him cold to his core and the warmth from inside the library was an immediate relief. Wasting no time, he headed straight to the bathroom to clean up; blissfully ignorant of Logan’s presence at the front of the library. It wasn’t until he came out and found a coffee sitting in the kitchen that Virgil realised he wasn’t alone.
“Katie and I cleaned up this morning, Virgil.” Logan’s voice was calm and pleasant, but it immediately put Virgil on edge. ”I didn’t think you were working today.”
“Just last night.” Keeping his head low, Virgil stepped passed Logan to head to his office. “If nothing is needed, I’ll just grab some things and head out.”
Logan watched cautiously, sensing something off about the other but unsure of the best way to approach. Ben’s message came to mind again as he watched Virgil leave his office with a loaded bag and head toward the back door to leave.
“Did I do something wrong?” Virgil stopped but didn’t turn to face Logan. “I know yesterday didn’t go well but-“
“I told you to let it go, Logan.” The harshness in his voice felt wrong, but Virgil wasn’t going to let Logan get caught up in his mess.
“If something is wrong, you can tell me.” Stepping closer cautiously, Logan noticed Virgil’s shoulders growing tense. “I only want to help-“
“I DON’T WANT YOUR FUCKING HELP!”
Logan quickly stepped away, taken aback by the others sudden anger. “You might not want it, but you clearly need it.”
“Oh, would you take the hint, you fucking moron.” Virgil kept his face hidden by his hood when he turned around, words burning his throat as if each were acid leaving his mouth. “I’m not interested in your fucked up, gay ass. I got my free food, now leave me alone.”
The words stung Logan, but he kept his face neutral and firm; heart breaking as his mind cruelly brought an old fear back to the surface. Once silenced, the dark thoughts re-entered his mind with a vengeance.
“For the record, I am not gay.” It felt like Virgil’s heart stopped at Logan’s words. “I prefer to identify as a Panromantic-asexual. If you are going to insult my sexuality, at least do it properly.“
“Whatever,” Virgil turned and headed towards the door again. “Have fun with your dead boyfriend, faggot.”
The air was left sour and heavy with Virgil’s words. Neither man believed the words, but their burn was real enough to have an effect. Virgil carried the last of his belongings away to sell in hopes of spearing everyone from his burden; Logan on the other hand, sat in deathly silence until Tate arrived and mindlessly headed out to get ready for work. The old ghostly fear growing and twisting into a dark shadow, until a soothing voice urged him to return to an old habit.
********************
Nothing but the clothes on his back, Virgil walked the streets with a measly $50 in his pocket. Each step echoed in his ears and he felt disgusted by every breath he took past his cursed lips. Regret and guilt a heavy stone in his gut as Logan’s face and his words echoed in his mind. Staring down at his phone he had the urge to call Logan and tell him everything; his debt and his past, the heavy weight that held him back.
“Virgil Sparks?”
The moment Virgil paused and looked up in response to the voice, he regretted it. The men who climbed out of the black van parked beside him were not comfortingly familiar.
“Get in the van, Virgil.” Ben motioned to Virgil from his position in the back; his expression darkened by bruising to his cheek.
“You said I had till Monday. I haven’t got any-“
“Get in.”
A firm hand gripped Virgil’s forearm and he felt all sense of hope finally fade away before climbing inside. There was no running now. The only way out would be messy no matter which way he looked at it. But then again…it was what he deserved.
******************
Patton was terrified as he ran down the streets towards his home. He had received Katie’s message 5 minutes prior and turned his calming walk into a complete workout.
Kit-Kat: are you okay?
Pit-Pat: fine. Just taking a casual walk home.
Kit-Kat: something has happened. Virgil’s office is completely empty, Logan isn’t answering his phone and his work said he left early to take care of you.
He should have felt bad leaving Katie on ‘read’ but all he could think about was how broken Logan was last night. Even before he had shared Jason’s video, he’d seemed more distant than usual, but Patton had been so caught up in his own feelings he hadn’t even registered it until now. Worry gripped his chest like a vice while his feet beat roughly against pavement. Air rushed uncomfortably into his lungs with every breath until he finally reached the doorstep and shoved the key into the lock.
“Logan!”
Patton spotted his roommates bag and shoes roughly discarded in the entry and raced up the stairs; calling again until he reached Logan’s locked bedroom door.
“Logan? Logan, open the door.” He pulled at the door fruitlessly; the silence from the other side feeding his fear with every unresponsive second. “Logie, please, you’re scaring me.”
Hands shaking, Patton eyed the door lock and remembered the same locks on his childhood doors; his mother could always get in when he was sad by using a butterknife to unlock it from the outside. When Logan didn’t respond again, he raced downstairs and decided this was just the situation to invade his privacy.
The knife fell from Patton’s hands the moment the door unlocked and he rushed into the room. Bottles of spirits were discarded and spilling on the floor; the sight alone made Patton’s blood run ice cold. Logan’s glasses were shattered by the wardrobe with what had probably been a full bottle of alcohol. Worried eyes darted around until her spotted his friend crumpled at the far end of the room by his bed; eyes open but unseeing through a blur of tears. Patton was thankful for his shoes as he crunched into the room and cradled Logan’s head between his hands.
“Be honest with me, Logan, how much did you drink?”
Blinking, Logan’s features contorted as his fogged brain processed Patton’s comforting presence and realisation hit like a tidal wave sending sobs through his body again.
“I-I c-nnn-n-t”
“It’s okay. You’re okay, sweetie.” Pulling him close, Patton took in the intense scent of alcohol that he had not dealt with since the first months of Jason’s passing. “I’ve got you now. It’s okay.”
Though Patton would have loved to simply hold Logan, he knew it wasn’t safe to stay in the room as it was. Carefully pulling back, Patton locked Logan’s eyes and kept his tone level and calm.
“It’s not safe here, Logan. Can you stand for me?” With a small nod, Logan carefully rose to his feet with Patton as support. “Okay. There’s lots of glass around so I need you to just stand here while I grab you some shoes. Can you do that?”
Using the wall for support, Logan released Patton so he could retrieve a pair of slippers from the back of the wardrobe. Gingerly slipping them on, Patton guided Logan to the bathroom and sat him on the toilet lid while he went to fetch clean clothes.
When Patton returned, Logan had his face buried in his hands with fresh sobs shaking his shoulders. The déjà vu hit him hard as he felt himself repeating an old routine of helping Logan shower and dress, before shuffling down the hall to set him up in his bed. No one else knew of Logan’s brief struggle with alcohol after Jason. It was a short-lived but intense battle. Night after night of alcohol fuelled sadness and self-loathing was eventually brought under-control thanks to Patton’s support. Sadly, Patton was now reminded that it was a battle they would apparently have to always be aware of. A lingering shadow in their lives that would remain, even after Logan allowed Patton to coax him into an unsteady sleep.
Katie knocked on the door an hour later and Patton carefully shuffled off the bed; thankful that Logan didn’t stir from the movement.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this from the beginning?” Katie asked sadly, moving the wet-vac away so they could scrub the stained carpet further.
“You were grieving at the time.” Bubbles formed on the carpet as Patton began scrubbing, filling his nose with a scent to drown out the alcohol. “You didn’t need Logan’s added burden and we had it handled. For a while, I guess.”
“Had it handled?”
“He’s not an alcoholic, Katie.” His voice was defensive, hoping not to regret pulling Katie into their secret. “You know Lo. He has one drink and that’s it, but after Jason…he went too far. He’s been fine this whole time. I swear this is the first time since that he’s done this.”
With a solemn nod, Katie went back to scrubbing. She believed Patton; he had no reason to lie.
“Something happened with Virgil, Patton. I’m sure of it.”
“Any idea what?”
“No. But I’m going to find out.”
“Me to.”
____________________
End Note
Released at the end of the week, just like I promised.
Tag List (let me know if you want to be removed. It has been so long I understand if you don’t wanna hang around)
You Promised(oneshot - prinxiety angst/injury/near death)
Sides of a Hero(Completed Fic - sides are fusions of impulses and aspects of Thomas. Virgil has a depressing past that he is forced to face thanks to Deceit and Rage. Was canon compliant at the time of completion)
The Shield to your Sword(WIP - A fantasy/magic au - Prinxiety (Royal Roman and orphan Virgil - they’ll admit to their love eventually), Virgil angst, non binary, healer Logan, *spoiler* Patton)
Summary: A soft mountain of pillows and blankets, plenty of food, boxes of tissues, a few close friends, and plenty of unshed tears. Sounds like a recipe for a lovely evening in the library.
Word count: 2013
Note:reading on mobile can remove the paragraphing sometimes. Use desktop site or visit my Ao3 page if it bothers you as much as it bothers me.
____________________
“Are you sure you want to sell all this, kid?” Pete questioned, eyeing the pile of electrical equipment, parts, a handheld gaming system and a chunky, old laptop. “Won’t you need most of this for work?”
“I need the money more.” The younger man snapped and pointed aggressively at each object, hood low and concealing his face. “The parts and tools are versatile, and any techie would be happy to use them. The laptop may be old, but it runs fine and is already wiped. Jesus, I even got the game working even though it only accepts one cartridge. There will be some nostalgic nerd willing to play only Pokémon blue for the rest of that systems little life. This is good stuff, Pete. What can you get me?”
Summary: A soft mountain of pillows and blankets, plenty of food, boxes of tissues, a few close friends, and plenty of unshed tears. Sounds like a recipe for a lovely evening in the library.
Word count: 2013
Note:reading on mobile can remove the paragraphing sometimes. Use desktop site or visit my Ao3 page if it bothers you as much as it bothers me.
____________________
“Are you sure you want to sell all this, kid?” Pete questioned, eyeing the pile of electrical equipment, parts, a handheld gaming system and a chunky, old laptop. “Won’t you need most of this for work?”
“I need the money more.” The younger man snapped and pointed aggressively at each object, hood low and concealing his face. “The parts and tools are versatile, and any techie would be happy to use them. The laptop may be old, but it runs fine and is already wiped. Jesus, I even got the game working even though it only accepts one cartridge. There will be some nostalgic nerd willing to play only Pokémon blue for the rest of that systems little life. This is good stuff, Pete. What can you get me?”
Scratching his chin in thought, Pete tapped at his keyboard absently. In the few months Virgil had been around, he had never seen the man so desperate for money. The parts boxed up before him would certainly be useful for his other workers but would put Virgil out of commission.
“Kid, if you need the money, just pawn this stuff and come back la-“
“Take the hint, Pete, I’m not coming back.”
Glancing down at Virgil’s shaking hands, the older man sighed and opened the till to retrieve a collection of notes.
“If that’s the case, and this is farewell, take this.” He placed $500 in cash on the counter and slid it towards Virgil. “You do good work, kid. It’s a shame to see you go.”
“And it’s a shame you’re such a fucken cheapskate.”
It was meant to be an insult, but Pete saw a tear drip from his chin as he turned and stormed out with the money. It was nothing but an act to spare the kid from the pain of leaving. Grabbing the bag of items, Pete walked them out the back and placed them safely on a pawning shelf; writing a tag with Virgil’s name and only removing the gaming device to add to inventory. Despite what they had said, Pete wasn’t about to let Virgil throw everything away. He had been rough on him to teach him about the harshness of the industry, but he wasn’t completely heartless. He only hoped Virgil would find the strength to come back.
********************
The once full plates of food were emptier as the group leaned back on beanbags in the library reading area. Patton nestled against Roman’s chest, eyes red from crying after he had spoken about his guilt and thoughts of being a bad omen. The group had listened as Patton finished with the points Roman and Katie had given him the days prior, before Roman pulled him close to his chest.
Logan remained silent. He didn’t know how to respond to Patton’s admissions, all of which were predominantly his fault.
“You are nothing but a good omen to me.” Roman whispered, planting a kiss on his head and continuing to soothingly stroke his shoulder.
“A-agreed.” Logan added, clearing his throat as his voice broke slightly. “I’m sorry if my actions ever made you feel less than what you are worth, Patton. You know how much you mean to me, right?”
Patton shifted on Roman’s chest and extended his hand out for Logan to take.
“I know, Lo. I’ll try not to let myself forget again.”
Giving their hands a final squeeze, the pair let their hands drop so Patton could return to his comforting position against Roman’s chest.
“Perhaps, I should speak next,” Roman offered and looked to the others for their nod of approval.
“Okay, little brother. What do you need to get off your chest?”
“Not Patton, for one.” He joked, giving his partner a squeeze before his tone became surprisingly sombre. “Well… I think it is time I apologised to you…Katie.”
The eldest looked confused as Roman met her eye with a small smile, before he lowered his gaze to focus back on the man on his chest.
“What do you have to apologise for?”
“You said your biggest regret was being…overbearing and overprotective. That your biggest accomplishment over the last few months was not messaging us every few hours religiously, but… I’m the reason you started that in the first place.”
“Roman-”
“Katie.” Logan warned, fixing her with a stern look. “Remember the rules. We speak openly and without interruption.”
After mumbling an apology, Katie gestured for Roman to continue.
“I was meant to tell you about Sasha’s party, but because I didn’t end up going with Jason, I never told you. And, to make matters worse… after Jason’s death, I…” taking a shaky breath, Roman found Patton’s hand to grip for support. “I acted rashly and caused you more stress. I put myself in unnecessary danger on multiple occasions and if it wasn’t for Patton, I’d probably still be party hopping and getting in car wrecks. It was selfish of me and I’m sorry it took me so long to get my head out of my ass and treat you like a human. You’ve been there for me and I should have been there for you…I hope I can do better.”
The figurative weight slid off Roman’s chest as he looked up and saw his older sister smiling, a single tear trailing down her cheek.
“Thank you, Roman.” Swiping the tear away, Katie chuckled quietly to herself. “It really means a lot that you see me as a human.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not always a dragon witch.”
Logan felt his mind wandering; beginning to obsess over the message Virgil had sent. There was such an undertone of anger and he started going through what he’d done wrong. Part of him hoped it was referring to his offers of food and monetary support, which he could easily back away from. Thinking more logically, he figured it was probably his sudden obsession with over sharing and using an acquaintance as a sounding board instead of going to actual therapy. Regardless, he didn’t know for certain and it was eating him up inside.
“Logan?”
Ethan’s voice cut through Logan’s thoughts like a hot knife through butter and he suddenly registered the silence in the room. Everyone else had shared now; their grief and guilt finally aired fully and unapologetically. He was the only one still left to share and it dawned on him just how afraid he was to do as he had planned earlier that afternoon.
“Are you ready to share?” Patton gave his hand a comforting squeeze before allowing Logan to pull away and begin shuffling through his bag.
“I don’t know if I’m ready but,” he pulled his laptop out and began loading the files Virgil had saved, “it would be selfish of me to avoid this any longer.”
The group had a silent exchanged of concerned glances and then moved closer so they would be able to see the screen after Logan set it down. Only Logan spoke as the images from earlier began scrolling across the laptops screen.
“We all remember that night before the fire vividly, I’m sure. Roman was roaming the streets in ignorant bliss; E was enjoying the alcohol Oskar had provided; Katie finally had her feet up; and I was driving a sniffly Patton home. We all know our sides, but I’ve kept one side a secret this whole time, and for that…I am sorry.”
Hitting play on Jason’s video, Logan moved aside to ensure everyone had a clear view of the screen. Colour drained from Katie and Roman’s faces as Jason’s ghostly voice filled their ears and they saw what he had been like in his final moments of life. As the screen froze on Jason’s face the library was left in silence; tears leaving their traces on cheeks as they soaked into the fabric of clothes and blankets.
Katie’s cracked voice finally broke the silence; “why?”
When Logan didn’t respond, Katie tore her eyes away from the screen and looked at him with harsh sadness.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Moving closer, she placed her hands on Logan’s damp cheeks and forced his eyes to meet her own. “What purpose did hiding this serve?”
“Nothing.” Logan’s eyes were void orbs, eyes red and strangely dried. “It only supported my belief that I wasn’t good enough for him and I didn’t want to be convinced otherwise.”
“You stupid man.” Fresh tears welled in her eyes as she pulled Logan into a crushing embrace. “Stupid, bloody, idiot. You were more than enough for him, you fucking fool.”
Though he returned the hug, Logan’s eyes remained glassed until more limbs began joining the embrace. Each body of warmth a physical reminder that though he had lost the face on his computer screen, he still had the family surrounding him. Sobs soon shook his whole frame; eyes squeezing shut as raw emotion was set free and all secrets were finally laid out. No more words were needed now. They had each aired their truths and now clung to each other, raw from it all.
Katie felt Logan’s weight growing as his sobs slowed, and she smiled to herself at the idea of Jason watching over them now. Roman moved back when Patton shifted and wiped his face before gesturing toward the soft spaces they had each been sitting before. Acting on silent instruction, Roman helped change their circle of beanbags and pillows into one soft pile while the other two continued holding Logan’s quivering form.
“He’s asleep.” Ethan whispered in shock as the siblings helped guide Logan to a more comfortable position.
“I doubt he has really slept in a while, Ethan.”
Patton accepted the exhausted man from Roman and laid back on the makeshift bed, removing the other man’s glasses before he instinctively snuggled closer. “That’s it, Logie. Let us take care of you, now.”
“Good job, Pat’s.” Removing Patton’s own glasses, Roman kissed his forehead before settling down behind him.
Ethan watched the scene before him and felt a pang of jealousy at the closeness of the group before Katie’s hand was guiding him over to Logan’s other side. Laying the blankets over everyone, Katie finally took her place on the end; mentally saving the image of the group before relaxing back on the soft cushions. Sleep wouldn’t come easy as a sleepy sob escaped one of the others, but eventually the library was silent, and Katie drifted off in relative peace.
*********************
Leaning his aching body against the cold steel of the dumpster was a relief for a moment, but the cold was soon to leave Virgil shivering. Dried blood gripped his clothes, but he couldn’t bring himself to sneak into the library until a later hour; certain the meeting would still be going. Tears had blended with the blood on his face, making his skin stiff; the feeling uncomfortable as he grimaced and repositioned.
Virgil cursed his luck when the world spun again; head pounding harder than it had when Ben had shoved him into the wall. The $500 from earlier had done nothing to help his situation; only cemented the fact that he couldn’t stay any longer. After a visit to the bank he’d sent $150 to his aunt with an apology for being a burden; $250 had been sent to Ben and the final $100 would have hopefully gotten him through until he got a job in the next town.
“I’m such an idiot.”
Curling in on himself, Virgil sobbed. The memory of Ben and his friends faces haunted his mind as he drifted into a light exhausted sleep.
“Saw you found a new friend. Would hate for anything to happen to them in your absence.”
“I did work for him. That’s all.”
“Like we’d believe a fucken faggot like you.”
“It’s true! He’s just a clueless science geek with a busted computer.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it…I want my money by Monday. Got it?”
“That’s impossible. I’ve given you everythi-“
“If you enjoy pain, I’d keep up the excuses. Wouldn’t everyone love to know you’re the son of a murderer.”
____________________
End Note
Hi…It’s me…Snail. No, I didn’t abandon this fic (even though it was getting pretty close to a year since I updated). Why was I gone so long? Simple…I couldn’t keep up the dangerous cycle of sitting at a computer for hours to do work and then following that up with hours of writing and editing. It really turned unhealthy. So, I switched gears a little. I started writing in smaller bursts (actually have up to chapter 14 done) but I held off from posting until I reached a point were I could post within a reasonable time so you weren’t left on a major cliff hanger as this fic reaches its designated end (which looks to be at around chapter 16 or 17).
Anyway, I haven’t been completely out of the story telling game. I got into Cosplay and telling stories through TikTok (It’s Emily’s -stopitanxiety- fault. I loved her writing and saw her TikTok’s and wanted to be part of that world). It’s a little harder to tell stories using audios and acting out everything, but it’s a lot more on your feet. I actually realised I have the clothes to Cosplay Virgil from this universe and I am considering just vibing as Virge or making it an actual TikTok au story. I dunno yet.
Back on topic, next chapter should be up by the end of the week (just gotta tweak some things that I ended up changing). Warning for the next chapter – alcohol abuse is entering the tags.
Thanks again for reading. Happy timezone, friend
Tag List (let me know if you want to be removed. It has been so long I understand if you don’t wanna hang around)
You Promised(oneshot - prinxiety angst/injury/near death)
Sides of a Hero(Completed Fic - sides are fusions of impulses and aspects of Thomas. Virgil has a depressing past that he is forced to face thanks to Deceit and Rage. Was canon compliant at the time of completion)
The Shield to your Sword(WIP - A fantasy/magic au - Prinxiety (Royal Roman and orphan Virgil - they’ll admit to their love eventually), Virgil angst, non binary, healer Logan, *spoiler* Patton)
