Blue: Why are you still doing that? Hating yourself, acting like everything was your fault.
Kichi:Because it is. I killed a man. I never would have thought I will say something like that about myself. Who I used to be is dead.
Blue: Don’t say that. You joined us over a year ago, I know you. You’re not the virus, you got the virus. It’s not your fault, neither the mutation, neither Carson’s death.
Kichi:Blue, you don’t… you don’t understand, okay?
Blue: Now you are being unfair to me. Look, that was an accident. If someone has to carry the guilt at this point, it’s me. I should have known that could happen. My people… I’m responsible for you - it’s my job to protect you, to offer safety.
Blue:Don’t say the contrary because it’s hurting me. To see you’re doing this to yourself. I know it’s hard, but you have to stay strong now. Just… Tell me you will try.
Kichi:I will.
Alright. Listen… We can’t allow this subject distracting us of our goal. We can’t change the past. We have to move on, focused. We will find that place and the stuff we need to make more doses.
Kichi: If I turn again, finish me.
Blue: You won’t. Hey! You won’t. I promise you, I will do everything in my power to get a final solution.
I know it’s a sad moment because we find out who killed Ichigo’s mom, but Grand Fisher is such a dumb name. He sounds like a small town fishing champ going through a midlife crisis
time to go through another “national conversation” on gun rights and gun violence where we can’t unanimously agree on the fact that kids shouldn’t be getting shot in their fucking classrooms and the fact that we live in a society where an 18 year old is driven to commit mass murder on school children. like, this could’ve been prevented. we are no further along than where we were 10 years ago with sandy hook and it’s despicable. like we live in a country where they want to force you to carry a pregnancy to term, then not help you feed the child if you can’t find formula for them, and then not protect them in their classrooms where they should be fucking safe. what the fuck.
Summary: A soft mountain of pillows and blankets, plenty of food, boxes of tissues, a few close friends, and plenty of unshed tears. Sounds like a recipe for a lovely evening in the library.
Word count: 2013
Note:reading on mobile can remove the paragraphing sometimes. Use desktop site or visit my Ao3 page if it bothers you as much as it bothers me.
____________________
“Are you sure you want to sell all this, kid?” Pete questioned, eyeing the pile of electrical equipment, parts, a handheld gaming system and a chunky, old laptop. “Won’t you need most of this for work?”
“I need the money more.” The younger man snapped and pointed aggressively at each object, hood low and concealing his face. “The parts and tools are versatile, and any techie would be happy to use them. The laptop may be old, but it runs fine and is already wiped. Jesus, I even got the game working even though it only accepts one cartridge. There will be some nostalgic nerd willing to play only Pokémon blue for the rest of that systems little life. This is good stuff, Pete. What can you get me?”
Scratching his chin in thought, Pete tapped at his keyboard absently. In the few months Virgil had been around, he had never seen the man so desperate for money. The parts boxed up before him would certainly be useful for his other workers but would put Virgil out of commission.
“Kid, if you need the money, just pawn this stuff and come back la-“
“Take the hint, Pete, I’m not coming back.”
Glancing down at Virgil’s shaking hands, the older man sighed and opened the till to retrieve a collection of notes.
“If that’s the case, and this is farewell, take this.” He placed $500 in cash on the counter and slid it towards Virgil. “You do good work, kid. It’s a shame to see you go.”
“And it’s a shame you’re such a fucken cheapskate.”
It was meant to be an insult, but Pete saw a tear drip from his chin as he turned and stormed out with the money. It was nothing but an act to spare the kid from the pain of leaving. Grabbing the bag of items, Pete walked them out the back and placed them safely on a pawning shelf; writing a tag with Virgil’s name and only removing the gaming device to add to inventory. Despite what they had said, Pete wasn’t about to let Virgil throw everything away. He had been rough on him to teach him about the harshness of the industry, but he wasn’t completely heartless. He only hoped Virgil would find the strength to come back.
********************
The once full plates of food were emptier as the group leaned back on beanbags in the library reading area. Patton nestled against Roman’s chest, eyes red from crying after he had spoken about his guilt and thoughts of being a bad omen. The group had listened as Patton finished with the points Roman and Katie had given him the days prior, before Roman pulled him close to his chest.
Logan remained silent. He didn’t know how to respond to Patton’s admissions, all of which were predominantly his fault.
“You are nothing but a good omen to me.” Roman whispered, planting a kiss on his head and continuing to soothingly stroke his shoulder.
“A-agreed.” Logan added, clearing his throat as his voice broke slightly. “I’m sorry if my actions ever made you feel less than what you are worth, Patton. You know how much you mean to me, right?”
Patton shifted on Roman’s chest and extended his hand out for Logan to take.
“I know, Lo. I’ll try not to let myself forget again.”
Giving their hands a final squeeze, the pair let their hands drop so Patton could return to his comforting position against Roman’s chest.
“Perhaps, I should speak next,” Roman offered and looked to the others for their nod of approval.
“Okay, little brother. What do you need to get off your chest?”
“Not Patton, for one.” He joked, giving his partner a squeeze before his tone became surprisingly sombre. “Well… I think it is time I apologised to you…Katie.”
The eldest looked confused as Roman met her eye with a small smile, before he lowered his gaze to focus back on the man on his chest.
“What do you have to apologise for?”
“You said your biggest regret was being…overbearing and overprotective. That your biggest accomplishment over the last few months was not messaging us every few hours religiously, but… I’m the reason you started that in the first place.”
“Roman-”
“Katie.” Logan warned, fixing her with a stern look. “Remember the rules. We speak openly and without interruption.”
After mumbling an apology, Katie gestured for Roman to continue.
“I was meant to tell you about Sasha’s party, but because I didn’t end up going with Jason, I never told you. And, to make matters worse… after Jason’s death, I…” taking a shaky breath, Roman found Patton’s hand to grip for support. “I acted rashly and caused you more stress. I put myself in unnecessary danger on multiple occasions and if it wasn’t for Patton, I’d probably still be party hopping and getting in car wrecks. It was selfish of me and I’m sorry it took me so long to get my head out of my ass and treat you like a human. You’ve been there for me and I should have been there for you…I hope I can do better.”
The figurative weight slid off Roman’s chest as he looked up and saw his older sister smiling, a single tear trailing down her cheek.
“Thank you, Roman.” Swiping the tear away, Katie chuckled quietly to herself. “It really means a lot that you see me as a human.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not always a dragon witch.”
Logan felt his mind wandering; beginning to obsess over the message Virgil had sent. There was such an undertone of anger and he started going through what he’d done wrong. Part of him hoped it was referring to his offers of food and monetary support, which he could easily back away from. Thinking more logically, he figured it was probably his sudden obsession with over sharing and using an acquaintance as a sounding board instead of going to actual therapy. Regardless, he didn’t know for certain and it was eating him up inside.
“Logan?”
Ethan’s voice cut through Logan’s thoughts like a hot knife through butter and he suddenly registered the silence in the room. Everyone else had shared now; their grief and guilt finally aired fully and unapologetically. He was the only one still left to share and it dawned on him just how afraid he was to do as he had planned earlier that afternoon.
“Are you ready to share?” Patton gave his hand a comforting squeeze before allowing Logan to pull away and begin shuffling through his bag.
“I don’t know if I’m ready but,” he pulled his laptop out and began loading the files Virgil had saved, “it would be selfish of me to avoid this any longer.”
The group had a silent exchanged of concerned glances and then moved closer so they would be able to see the screen after Logan set it down. Only Logan spoke as the images from earlier began scrolling across the laptops screen.
“We all remember that night before the fire vividly, I’m sure. Roman was roaming the streets in ignorant bliss; E was enjoying the alcohol Oskar had provided; Katie finally had her feet up; and I was driving a sniffly Patton home. We all know our sides, but I’ve kept one side a secret this whole time, and for that…I am sorry.”
Hitting play on Jason’s video, Logan moved aside to ensure everyone had a clear view of the screen. Colour drained from Katie and Roman’s faces as Jason’s ghostly voice filled their ears and they saw what he had been like in his final moments of life. As the screen froze on Jason’s face the library was left in silence; tears leaving their traces on cheeks as they soaked into the fabric of clothes and blankets.
Katie’s cracked voice finally broke the silence; “why?”
When Logan didn’t respond, Katie tore her eyes away from the screen and looked at him with harsh sadness.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Moving closer, she placed her hands on Logan’s damp cheeks and forced his eyes to meet her own. “What purpose did hiding this serve?”
“Nothing.” Logan’s eyes were void orbs, eyes red and strangely dried. “It only supported my belief that I wasn’t good enough for him and I didn’t want to be convinced otherwise.”
“You stupid man.” Fresh tears welled in her eyes as she pulled Logan into a crushing embrace. “Stupid, bloody, idiot. You were more than enough for him, you fucking fool.”
Though he returned the hug, Logan’s eyes remained glassed until more limbs began joining the embrace. Each body of warmth a physical reminder that though he had lost the face on his computer screen, he still had the family surrounding him. Sobs soon shook his whole frame; eyes squeezing shut as raw emotion was set free and all secrets were finally laid out. No more words were needed now. They had each aired their truths and now clung to each other, raw from it all.
Katie felt Logan’s weight growing as his sobs slowed, and she smiled to herself at the idea of Jason watching over them now. Roman moved back when Patton shifted and wiped his face before gesturing toward the soft spaces they had each been sitting before. Acting on silent instruction, Roman helped change their circle of beanbags and pillows into one soft pile while the other two continued holding Logan’s quivering form.
“He’s asleep.” Ethan whispered in shock as the siblings helped guide Logan to a more comfortable position.
“I doubt he has really slept in a while, Ethan.”
Patton accepted the exhausted man from Roman and laid back on the makeshift bed, removing the other man’s glasses before he instinctively snuggled closer. “That’s it, Logie. Let us take care of you, now.”
“Good job, Pat’s.” Removing Patton’s own glasses, Roman kissed his forehead before settling down behind him.
Ethan watched the scene before him and felt a pang of jealousy at the closeness of the group before Katie’s hand was guiding him over to Logan’s other side. Laying the blankets over everyone, Katie finally took her place on the end; mentally saving the image of the group before relaxing back on the soft cushions. Sleep wouldn’t come easy as a sleepy sob escaped one of the others, but eventually the library was silent, and Katie drifted off in relative peace.
*********************
Leaning his aching body against the cold steel of the dumpster was a relief for a moment, but the cold was soon to leave Virgil shivering. Dried blood gripped his clothes, but he couldn’t bring himself to sneak into the library until a later hour; certain the meeting would still be going. Tears had blended with the blood on his face, making his skin stiff; the feeling uncomfortable as he grimaced and repositioned.
Virgil cursed his luck when the world spun again; head pounding harder than it had when Ben had shoved him into the wall. The $500 from earlier had done nothing to help his situation; only cemented the fact that he couldn’t stay any longer. After a visit to the bank he’d sent $150 to his aunt with an apology for being a burden; $250 had been sent to Ben and the final $100 would have hopefully gotten him through until he got a job in the next town.
“I’m such an idiot.”
Curling in on himself, Virgil sobbed. The memory of Ben and his friends faces haunted his mind as he drifted into a light exhausted sleep.
“Saw you found a new friend. Would hate for anything to happen to them in your absence.”
“I did work for him. That’s all.”
“Like we’d believe a fucken faggot like you.”
“It’s true! He’s just a clueless science geek with a busted computer.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it…I want my money by Monday. Got it?”
“That’s impossible. I’ve given you everythi-“
“If you enjoy pain, I’d keep up the excuses. Wouldn’t everyone love to know you’re the son of a murderer.”
____________________
End Note
Hi…It’s me…Snail. No, I didn’t abandon this fic (even though it was getting pretty close to a year since I updated). Why was I gone so long? Simple…I couldn’t keep up the dangerous cycle of sitting at a computer for hours to do work and then following that up with hours of writing and editing. It really turned unhealthy. So, I switched gears a little. I started writing in smaller bursts (actually have up to chapter 14 done) but I held off from posting until I reached a point were I could post within a reasonable time so you weren’t left on a major cliff hanger as this fic reaches its designated end (which looks to be at around chapter 16 or 17).
Anyway, I haven’t been completely out of the story telling game. I got into Cosplay and telling stories through TikTok (It’s Emily’s -stopitanxiety- fault. I loved her writing and saw her TikTok’s and wanted to be part of that world). It’s a little harder to tell stories using audios and acting out everything, but it’s a lot more on your feet. I actually realised I have the clothes to Cosplay Virgil from this universe and I am considering just vibing as Virge or making it an actual TikTok au story. I dunno yet.
Back on topic, next chapter should be up by the end of the week (just gotta tweak some things that I ended up changing). Warning for the next chapter – alcohol abuse is entering the tags.
Thanks again for reading. Happy timezone, friend
Tag List (let me know if you want to be removed. It has been so long I understand if you don’t wanna hang around)
You Promised(oneshot - prinxiety angst/injury/near death)
Sides of a Hero(Completed Fic - sides are fusions of impulses and aspects of Thomas. Virgil has a depressing past that he is forced to face thanks to Deceit and Rage. Was canon compliant at the time of completion)
The Shield to your Sword(WIP - A fantasy/magic au - Prinxiety (Royal Roman and orphan Virgil - they’ll admit to their love eventually), Virgil angst, non binary, healer Logan, *spoiler* Patton)
basically i was rewatching a load of shows while i was sick for the last two weeks, and it just dawned on me how beautiful a notion it is to miss someone, or miss something? so before i go headfirst into the emotional motivation behind these prompts, i’ll post them, and hope you’re all having a fantastic week, and that you enjoy these prompts as much as i enjoyed writing them!
“ i miss you. “
“ i’ve missed you. “
“ i’ll miss you. “
“ you’re coming back, right? “
“ when will i see you again? “
“ please don’t go… “
“ i could go with you! “
“ when will you be back? “
“ you know you can’t come with me… “
“ i didn’t wanna leave without saying goodbye. “
“ i hate goodbyes… “
“ i’ll always find my way back to you. “
“ hey… no tears, alright? this isn’t goodbye. “
“ don’t leave me. “
“ i’ll see you soon, okay? i promise. “
“ this isn’t goodbye, you know. “
“ this isn’t goodbye. this is… until we meet again. “
“ i have to go now… “
“ were you really about to leave without saying goodbye? “
“ i don’t think i’ve ever missed anyone, or anything, the way that i miss you right now. “
“ hey, where’d you go? i was starting to miss you! “
“ why? do you miss me? “
“ stay with me… “
“ you know that i can’t stay here… “
“ what will i do without you? “
“ look outside your window… you see the sky? good. so do i. because we’re looking at the exact same sky right now, okay? so no matter where we are, or how far apart we are… we’ll always be underneath the same sky. so we’re not that far apart at all. “
“ i’m gonna miss you, you know. “
“ i didn’t expect myself to miss you as much as i do/did. “
“ i wish you were here. or i was there. just… i wish we were back together again. “
“ what’s it like over there? “
“ i couldn’t leave without seeing you again. “
“ if… if this is the last time i’ll ever see you, i need you to know… i have loved, and will never stop loving, you. you hear me? i love you. beyond whatever happens next. i love you. “
“ no matter where you are, where you go, where they take you… i will always find my way back to you. i promise. “
“ stop! stop lying! you left, and you’ve taken a part of me with you, so i want to know! i want… i deserve an answer. i deserve the truth! where are you? and why did you have to go there? “
“ i’ll hold you in my heart, until i can hold you in my arms. “
“ in case you ever foolishly forget; i am never not thinking of you. “
“ my heart never knew loneliness until you went away. i am missing you. “
and a few ACTION PROMPTS !
[ HUG ]: sender, upon reuniting with the receiver after being apart for a lengthy duration of time, rushes over to them and pulls them into a tight, desperate, emotional embrace.
[ KISS ]: sender, having just reunited with the receiver after being apart for a lengthy duration of time, catches them and pulls them in for a passionate, long-awaited kiss that tells all the things they’ve been bottling up in their absence.
[ FOREHEAD ]: before parting ways, sender rests their forehead against the receiver’s, a possible final touch as they go their separate ways.
[ BURY ]: before parting ways, sender pulls the receiver in for what they privately believe to be their final hug, giving them an embrace filled with heartache, desperation, and unspoken apologies.
[ GRAVE ]: after going their separate ways, the receiver learns that the sender has died. upon travelling to their graveside, how do they respond to this tragedy?
[ COLLECT ]: sender arrives at the airport/docks/other location to collect the receiver after being apart for a considerable length of time.
[ INTERVENE ]: sender surprises the departing receiver by intervening before they leave, in the hopes of changing their mind.
[ REUNITE ]: sender and receiver reunite after being apart for a long length of time.
Canon to the Mcu, dreams are your variants doing whatever
So what has my variants been up to (all dreams I can remember)
A furby empire attacked an old house they where touring when they where like six
They where running through a very dark woods with their two best friends
They got outted at school cause a kid found their tumblr
I worked at a pet saloon but only from 6-8 am and my parents had to take me in and it pissed them off
My mom chocked my out with my hoodie
It was a dystopian world and me and a bunch of other kids where camping out high up in a building. I was like a leader
I was at a summer camp where my cabin mate had abusive parents. The cabin was yellow with lots of plants
This is a long one, I was in my dads classroom before school, but it was me and girl and a guy. We convinced the girl to sing over the pa. I went outside to the parking lot and a conventionally attractive blonde opposite sex senior asked me in perverted ways if I was gonna date them next year, in real life I know this person and they would never. Next I was in a classroom and a sayter is roaming about, I lean out the window and ask, are you a sayter, ahh you didn’t call me mortal, you must be a clear sited one, pants appeared on him and he walked over, then my alarm went off
I was stuck in a river for fifteen years, like a soul fish, I come out of said river and bricks and metals from the buildings come around me giving me a body. I head to my dads meat/barbecue plant. A majority of the workers are alseep, they’ve been alseep for fifteen years, not aging, some are fine with kids. We start working on getting the plant back up, I’m a bad thing to the local police force so one day when out and about with extended family we here police cars so they are trying to hide me.
I’m a scientist, maybe not. But I’m part of an important experiment. Like really important. The numbers on the pages keep blurring off
The world is cracking apart like ice age. We are all gonna die. I’m cussing up a storm and still being told to watch my language. My and my family had a falling out but I wanna say good bye. They are in a Greek like pavilion I’m trying to get there but the earth cracks apart. People are cheering every time it happens a bit more and enjoying their last sun set. I notice I have my dads golden watch. I see a kid from my chemistry class and through it at him and tell him to please take it to my dad. He says no he wants to watch the sunset and throughs it back
At first I was like “wow idiots” until the actual map. You would genuinely never expect the freeway to just suddenly be a normal road like that. You would still be looking for the proper exit and preparing to BEGIN slowing down by the time you notice only from the cues of your surroundings that you’ve already “left” the freeway and that fucking overpass would make it impossible to see those cues coming until you’re in them?!?!
You can hear every one of them desperately trying to break. From the look of it the far lane must also end very abruptly seeing as the majority of them end up in those bushes.
This is genuinely such a confusing part of Seattle. I hate it.
I don’t even spend much time in Seattle and I still immediately recognized that intersection and thought, “Nope!”
The worst part about a hike, uphill, in the snow, while injured, in the dark, was that Saith was doing it with the howls of wolves echoing around him in the foothills. If he could just get further into these hills, where the feet of the mountains really began, he might be able to find some kind of cave or shelter where they couldn’t get to him. And maybe even a place to rest for the night.
Gods, he wanted to rest. Well, to be precise, he wanted to fall down and pass out. But he couldn’t do that yet, not even when every step for the last few miles had been agony on his scarred right knee.
Florence likes to sing on quiet nights (and after a few drinks). It could be considered an unsettling amount of ballads about dead men if the clientele weren’t always too drunk to notice ☠️
Warnings: Some dark subjects here. Suicide (minor character), self harm, blood, nudity, navigating some extremely fucked up power dynamics, implied noncon, severe panic attacks, BBU/BBU-adjacent
The shower in the staff locker room can’t get hot enough.
Sebastian stands there long after his skin is pink beneath the spray, lost in his own head. His skin may be scrubbed clean after the first few minutes, but he is confident his body will never forget the memory of this stain.
Two slashes down the wrist with whatever contraband they’ll inevitably find later in her cell.
And he couldn’t save her.
Oh, fuck! I had forgotten that’s where we’d left off!
Tomorrow morning, he will do whatever is required of him to file a formal application with contract affairs.
YES!!! YESSSSSSS!!!! OH GOD, YES!!!!!
Oh, Peach, this chapter fucking murdered me!!! Jaime falling apart like that is not only heartbreaking and a testament to how fucked up he is in that moment, but also speaks loads of how much Sebastian has actually gained his trust.
Damn, i love them so much, you don’t even know! I’m glad I was finally able to read this one
ALT
