It’s April in a couple of hours here.Which means its time for a reminder that A*tism Sp*aks thinks that we need a cure - that this is something that we need to save people from.
It’s not new, it’s not going anywhere, and it isn’t a problem to be solved.
Its Autism Acceptance Month - many people in the aro and ace communities are neurodivergent in some way, and specifically autistic. Here’s our article on some of the ways these identities intersect: https://taaap.org/2022/04/23/autism-and-aspec-identities/
[ID: The first infographic reads “Autism and Aspec Identities. Research suggests that autistic individuals are over twice as likely to identify as non-heterosexual than allistic individuals. 36.5 % of respondents to the 2020 Aro Census identified as neurodiverse. 17.5% of respondents to the 2019 Ace Community Survey identified as autistic.” There are pictures of a pair of headphones with rainbows and an infinity sign on them, and a blue jacket with a rainbow on the back as well as an infinity sign.
The second infographic reads “Autism and Aspec Identities. Autistic people may find that their orientations are influenced by touch sensitivities and aversions, social aversions, and/or not internalizing social norms. Allistic people often stereotype autistic people as cold, unfeeling, and/or as child-like. This leaves autistic aspecs in a double bind in which their lack of romantic and/or sexual attraction gets wrapped up in this stereotype rather than being seen as a valid identity.“ There are pictures of a sneaker with a rainbow and infinity sign on it, a baseball cap with a rainbow infinity sign, and a pair of rainbow earrings with infinity signs on them. End ID.]
Remember that not every Autistic presents in the same way, we aren’t a monolith, and ADHD shares 80 percent comorbidities to the point where advocates are seeking deeper connections. So many of us have ADHD that everything is sliding around a Mobius Strip Spectrum.
My comic for autism acceptance month in 2021. Considering that today is also the trans day of visibility, I’d like to remind you of this comic’s existence. It’s gonna be in a published anthology book come the fall.
I’m so fucking tired of Autism Parents™️ and I want back those three hours of my life.
I’m so fucking tired of swallowing my anger, being just as polite as any neurotypical and having those neurotypicals spit down on me anyway and tell me I’m being condescending to them. They always do this when I don’t give them the response they seem to want no matter how much I validate their anger or pain or whatever else they’re feeling.
I took a metaphorical bullet today, and I guess it’s better that it was me than someone in a much more fragile mental state. This really made me spiral.
So what happened?
I had a three hour Twitter DM conversation with an Autism Mom™️ about why Autism Speaks is a dangerous, bad charity. I was polite to the point of saccharine (while she treated me like scum) as I put forth the emotional labor necessary to answer her questions as thoroughly as possible and give links to back up what I said.
I tried to put on a positive face of help rather than coming at her with the anger she kept venting at me. I didn’t comment on how damaging it was for her to talk about her autistic child’s diapers or meltdowns in public like she was. I was focused on teaching her about Autism Speaks and linking her to resources that could help her better help her child.
And after those three hours of sounding like she was on the verge of changing her mind, she abruptly said, “you know what? I hate how patronizing and condescending you are. You autistic freaks are all the same, and I hope you all get wiped out. I’m going to march in every walk and light it up blue till autism is gone because assholes like you shouldn’t exist. Thanks for reminding me why I support Autism Speaks, it was the right decision” and then blocked me.
I was stunned.
Then I cried.
This shit is making me lose faith in any parents being able to listen or care about autistic people, including their own children.
We’ve made so much progress and yet, I’m reminded that being autistic is still seen as a reason to hate people. It doesn’t matter how polite we are or how deeply we conform, we are still Other and treated as less.
I’m white, I hate to think of what black, brown, Asian and indigenous autistic people have to deal with.
I tried my hardest to change a single mind, and it didn’t work.
Don’t ask me to name names, there’s no convincing this person and harassing them won’t do any good either. I reported them for hate speech and I’ll let the Twitter mods decide what to do about it. Probably nothing, but eh, my faith in people giving a shit about autistic people is down to zero right now.
I tried and it wasn’t good enough. I let everybody down, so I’m sorry.
To parents like that mom: fuck you for eternity. You are teaching other neurotypical adults how to treat your children like shit. Your kids will grow up to receive the same vitriol.
I hope, someday, when your child cries in your arms after trying to have the same conversation with another adult, that you remember how you treated me.
I hope your child cuts you out of their life, forgets your face and never sees you again.
You didn’t want the child you got and you don’t deserve any children after treating another human being like you treated me. I fear for your child and what horrors they must see and hear from you every day.
You said you want to eradicate autism, that includes your own damn child.
You fucking monster.
Next year, I will fight harder because of you.
Because autistic people of all abilities, races, ethnicities, religions, classes, orientations and genders deserve to be heard, especially the most vulnerable autistic people who get silenced the most, and I won’t let people like you stand in their way of living a better life.
For so long it was believed that autistic people have no empathy, and that we don’t care about other people. But then, in 2020, a journal article in The Journal of Neuroscience came out saying that we care too much!
The language in the article was pretty bad. The neurotypical group was labeled the “healthy” group, and positive autistic traits were labeled as “deficits”. There’s a good article about it by NeuroClastic if you want to check it out.
Neurosplainers: neurotypicals who claim they know more about autism because they have an autistic child, or autistic clients, or took a class about autism one time.
They behave like this with other neurodivergent individuals as well.
Measles and mumps were eradicated in many countries, but are now making a comeback. Thanks anti-vaxxers! To prevent your child from getting something that’s highly genetic, and not a threat to your child’s health, you’ve made this happen! Congrats…
