It’s really fucking weird seeing people reclaim “limp-wristed” and “fruity” while also screaming about how horrible and offensive the word “queer” is.
It’s almost like “queer is a slur” was never about protecting people, and has always been about gatekeeping who “really belongs” by making our most all-inclusive term into a controversy.
I feel so sorry for all the young lesbians whose female partners are currently medically transitioning. They have to support their partners’ transitions unconditionally and unquestioningly lest they be called transphobic, they have to wonder whether they’ll still be attracted to their partners post-transition, they have to stop calling themselves lesbians lest they offend their partners. And if they break it off, will their friends call them transphobic? Will they be marked as terfs?
I can’t imagine being a teenager, falling in love with a girl, and then essentially being forced (I remember how deep the fear of being transphobic went) to call the girl I love they or he, watch her start testosterone or get surgery, and give up calling myself lesbian. It would be heartbreaking and confusing. I know this is happening—I can name several couples like this who show up on my Instagram feed these days. And it is heartbreaking. How many more young lesbians would there be if they didn’t give up the lesbian label to accommodate their attraction to trans identified females? How many more young lesbians would there be if they were encouraged to look up to and learn from older lesbians rather than dismiss them as terfs or … not queer enough?
(This is not meant to imply I don’t care about the hardships of the scores of “trans” teenage girls themselves. I absolutely do, having been one for several years.)
really is telling how one of the most basic things that gay people ask for—happiness, safety, and legal status in a relationship with the one you love—is something that is met with derision or mockery in the ‘lgbt community.’ it’s because it’s something that people who are just playing gay cannot connect with, and something that they don’t put a lot of stock in. that’s why you’ll see things like gay marriage put down as gay assimilation, and that’s why you’ll see the promotion of happy, healthy gay couples called homonormativity. it’s such a basic desire, and you can really just tell when someone who’s never dreamt of asking for it in their lives (i.e., straight people, asexual people). because they don’t need to and they don’t think that you should ask for it either
it’s just hurtful. people who never had to contend with the idea that they could be denied services, jailed, beaten, killed, excommunicated from a church, or otherwise socially marginalized for a relationship are being allowed to define what is “useful” activism regarding relationships. people who never felt dirty and wrong and unnatural and against god for their childhood crushes get to say whatever they want under the umbrella ‘queer.’ which they claim not because it’s politically useful, but because it erases the line between who is same-sex attracted and who is not.
and yet they still have the audacity to say the dumbest lines. not gay as in happy, but queer as in fuck you. out of the mouth of a man who has only ever desired women. i hate it.
In 2015 in the US our rights movement actually accomplished real normality for us and that just made a bunch of heterosexuals lose their minds. They invited themselves in, claimed to be one of us for asinine reasons (”oh I’m a sapiosexual panromantic greyace agender person!”) and insisted that things needed to be “queered” up again. We had to be out there. We had to be freaks. We had to be counter-culture and shocking. We had to be their wild entertainment that they never thought would actually gain equality even while they praised themselves for paying us lipservice.
So now they trot out all the same old homophobia. They try to excommunicate us from our own organizations or our communities our own venues our own events and finally our own movement. They try to change the meanings of our words to include themselves and exclude us. They try to call us old hat, claim that we’retherealoppressors and they’re the ones truly suffering from our lack of cooperation.
And they outnumber us. And the rest of straight society either consciously or unconsciously approves. Because, hey, it’s just gay stuff. It’s just queer stuff. It’s just homo stuff. So who cares?
Another reason why kink should never be grouped in with LGB. Just encourages the idea that we are sexual deviants and should be “proud” of it, when all we’ve ever fought for, for centuries, eons, has been normal lives and acceptance from society. To love who we love and have nobody bat an eye. To bring home our girlfriend and have our parents laugh and throw cards at her when she beats them at Uno. And to get married, to have children.
The most boring gay couple with two kids and a white picket fence will always be more meaningful to me than a juvenile contest of who can be the queerest.
How liberating it is to realize that I am a lesbian not because I ‘identify’ with ‘lesbian culture’, look and dress a certain way, see myself in other lesbians, or *suppresses laughter* enjoy the ~lesbian aesthetics~ and the word lesbian, but only because I am a female exclusively attracted to other females.
I can be whatever kind of person I want to be and nothing I do can make me more or less lesbian.
Pan vs. bi discourse is so stupid just let people have their labels. I’m transandbi and my sister is pan and we buy each other, each other’s respective flags and cute pride gifts and there’s literally no problem stop telling people what their own label means or that their label isn’t ‘inclusive’ enough when it is and always has been or that their label is too new and is trying to replace things that already exist just stop. Just let people use the labels they are comfortable with. Please. It’s not that hard.
We already have homophobes/transphobes who hate every single one of us despite which LGBTQIA+ members you may personally think are legit or not. They hate us all. So can we please come together as a community instead of fighting amongst ourselves? This goes for terfs, aro/ace spec exclusionists, and enby exclusionists as well. Just stop. It’s not getting you anywhere. The homophobes and transphobes still hate you even if you hate us with them. We need to show strength and unity. Stop hurting people and especially kids in your own community.
So everyone’s talking about misgendering trans people they don’t respect. And yes we all know why we’re talking about it but deflecting and derailing with “Wah, I’m not respecting [you know who]!” every time this comes up isn’t fucking acceptable, because this isn’t even about them and you know it.
Just to keep anyone from bringing them up, I’m going to use a completely unrelated example. Youtuber Lily Orchard is a cartoon reviewer that gained a reputation for her controversial opinions. In one video made by another cartoon reviewer about her they said they would be “nice” by “using her preferred pronouns”.
When you consider correctly gendering a trans person the nice thing to do, and when you hinge it on your respect for them, you’re telling everyone that you see it as a privilege as opposed to correctly gendering a cis person which we all see as a given.
Let me unpack that for you: you’re saying that - in a world where trans people are oppressed - that not oppressing them… is a privilege.
To put in into perspective, imagine if I claimed that me not saying the N-word was me being nice? Would you not think that I sounded like someone who wants to say the N-word? Someone who still thinks the N-word but just refrains from saying it? Someone who thinks that the N-word is perfectly acceptable, but I’m even nicer to not say it? Would you not think that I was a racist and pompous asshole?
And that’s what you sound like to trans people because if not being oppressed is what you consider a privilege, what you call a kindness, then being oppressed is the given, the normal, the neutral state. You are telling everytrans person that you don’t see transphobia as the cruel thing, but what you think they deserve by default.
This is for those who are against afab transfems and amab transmascs.
>Can u explain me why ? Why is it ok for u to segregate an identity on the basis of someone’s ASAB ? Isn’t what terfs actually do ? For them “woman” is AFAB-exclusive and yall act the same with transfem/transmasc. U use terf logic, u discriminate someone due to their genitals. ////
Why don’t you let ppl identify with whatever they want regardless of their asab and without telling them they are bad/wrong/not valid ? If an afab individual feel a connection to transfemininity, why they should be forbidden to identify as such ?
For me we should stop to imply that transfem= amab and transmasc= afab and start to recognize that some transfems are afab and some transmascs are amab (and others aren’t even afab or amab)
Sex assignement is an arbitrary act who don’t accure just one time in your life. Socially, people will assign you to a sex/gender category (often based on you appearence but not only). So if an afab is assigned to male by someone but they identify with a fingender/feingender they are in fact transfem/trans girl. Ofc, u don’t necessary need this experience to be a transfem. If u feel connected to the term for me it’s the most important.
I really don’t understand why so many ppl are so hostile towards afab/amab transfems/transmascs and have a very reductive vision of the sex/gender assignement process//
Again if an afab is comfortable with the label transfem, where is the problem if they use it ?They are not hurting anyone. Let them vibing.
this isnt my normal post type but im rlly fucking sick of the exclusion of nb people from trans spaces. i go thru a lot of the same struggles as binary trans people, and struggles that r unique to nb people yet i, and other enbies, r considered “not trans enough”. its hurtful to see other trans people, people who should understand ur struggle, exclude u from a place u belong in
[edit: not all nb people identify as trans and that is okay!! pls just include nb people who do identify as trans in ur trans spaces]
how many times will you redefine pansexuality after being called before you finally accept that it’s okay to just call yourself bi
every time pansexuals are called out for being biphobic/transphobic/homophobic/etc they go “no no no that’s not what pansexuality means, actually this is the real definition of pansexuality”
first it was “attraction to men, women and trans people” and when that was called out for transphobia they changed it to
“hearts not parts” which was also called out for transphobia on top of biphobia and homophobia so they quickly moved on to
“attraction regardless of gender unlike bisexuality where gender is a factor” and when that was called out for being biphobic and ahistorical they swapped it for
“attraction to personality not gender” and when people called that out for being offensive and condescending to literally everyone who’s not pan they tried
“it’s the same as bi but just a personal preference for a different label” and now that that has been called out for enabling internalised biphobia i’m really wondering what they will come up with next
like how many more of these convoluted excuses for distancing yourself from bisexuality can you possibly come up with before you’ll finally be forced to face your internalised biphobia and learn to accept you’re bisexual
twitter users are the weakest link. is emily gwens shop still open or is there another way to support her?
shesgot a carrd linking to all her shops and her ko-fi if you want to support her while people give her endless shit and corporations profit off her flag
…the d slur discourse is taking an interesting turn.
lovecraftian discourse monsters under ice etc etc but do people just keep making new flags with different shades of pink whenever the previous maker turns out to be #problematic because that idea is so funny
Apparently this Pride month is all about flag discourse because that’s all Ive seen on Twitter (but what did I expect from that nightmare of a website?). The creator of the “old” flag, a literal lesbian, says the word dyke and now it’s suddenly a punishable crime. She also recently took down her online shop (which she heavily relied on to make money since she’s struggling) because lots of people have been giving her shit.
Yall realize that you don’t have to agree with every single thing someone says, right? You can be friends with people that have different opinions. There’s no need to block people over stupid shit like you being a truscum and them being a tucute and vice versa. We can hear each other out and respect our opinions and continue to coexist normally. Why do you want to limit yourself to people that think exactly like you all the time? You wanna live in an echo chamber?
Heterophobia and cisphobia exist. Just aren’t as oppressing as homophobia, transphobia, etc. but it doesn’t have to be oppressing to exist. It’s prejudice against straight or cis people. That simple.
People in the ace spectrum, you are not weird or faking if you have a high sex drive, if you masturbate a lot, if you watch porn a lot, if you read/write/create a lot or mostly nsfw content.
Asexual does not mean completely and utterly unsexual. Your relationship with your libido, masturbation, porn, nsfw, and anything else, sexual in nature or not, can be part of your asexuality regardless of where you fall on the ace spectrum
the queer community was formed by people who were deemed strange and abnormal in society based on them not conforming to expectations about sexuality & gender. there are no specific boundaries bc this isn’t a club. a cishet guy that likes wearing dresses who fights side by side with us for true liberation, is 100x more queer than a millionaire gay man who’s besties with companies that sell us watered down versions of our own culture for profit during pride while donating to homophobic lawmakers every other month.
i’m gonna say this again because it really pissed some people off: yes, I would rather have a cishet GNC man who stands with queer people, is involved in our spaces and our culture, stands up for us when we are attacked, and is active in furthering queer liberation, than a rich gay man who spits on the lower-class queers who gave him the ability to be out, who sells his soul to corporations who couldn’t give less of a shit about us, just for the wealth and power of capitalism. Fuck that guy. I’m not saying he isn’t gay - he is! Nothing can take that away! But we have the saying “not gay as in happy but queer as in fuck you” for a reason. The family-friendly gay millionaire isn’t my brother. The poor crossdresser who has been a part of this community since it’s inception is. Fuck your bootlicking bullshit.
