Being the “Black Sheep” in the family, this reminds me so much of my family. I’ve been dealing with colorism in my family for some time. Why is that?! I wish I knew the answer. What I do know is that even though they talk hella shit about me, they secretly want my life. How is it that you can bully me, criticize me, body shame and bash me, yet get upset when I choose not to spend time with you?! Please tell me, how does that make any sense!? Our families, I’ve learned that they can be our first bullies in our lives. And when you point it out to them, to them it is “tough love”. That’s not tough love. Let’s be real about what it truly is! It is manipulation, narcissism, jealousy, insecurity and straight out hate that people project onto you because they aren’t happy. I’ve been reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The second agreement is to not take things personally because the person who is doing all the negative things is projecting their true feelings towards you. I let what someone says go into one ear and out the other a lot. I refuse to get myself hurt because of others actions, words and energy. Their pain has nothing to do with me. I love my family but I can admit I don’t like a lot of them. I set healthy and safe boundaries to protect myself. I don’t know who this may resonate with. I hope you know that you are great the way you are. Just because your family may treat you in a certain manner, doesn’t mean you are suppose to be ok with it. Set boundaries and if that me separating yourself for a while, then please do so! Please know that You Matter! Keep fighting!
Edited an artwork from 2020.Hua Xiong and the Black Sheep are back, with two new members joining the gang - Baddo Boya (Unbearaboy)andBurukkurin (Roughgraff) fromYo-kai Watch.
I didn’t like the BG and the shading of the original version; this one looks better.
I love how they are blushing and the fluff written all over this.
I wanted something with black sheep and crackle, and this is what it turned out to be. I know that they thought of each other as siblings, buuuut they have figured it out sooner . I wanted to draw Cleo, she seemed so fun to draw (and she is), and practice drawing. I don’t usually color it in, but I wanted to try. (I didn’t do the skin color cause the colored pencils that I had would’ve worked, but I think it turned out ok.) I might make it digital later
How 90’s was this movie? I’m remembering the rock the vote concert scene specifically (Mudhoney!).
Obviously, Black Sheep is inferior to Tommy Boy. But it’s weird just how polarized the cultural perception of these two films has become. I feel like Black Sheep is barely remembered, and Tommy Boy is an unimpeachable classic in the “low-brow comedy from SNL alums” category.
So I think I’m just going to jump right in. A lot is going on in my life. My dad had a stroke recently and now everyone (meaning my family) expects me to take care of him. I’m constantly ridiculed and criticized about how selfish I am. But am I really selfish because I don’t want to take care of a man who barely took care of himself? Before he had a stroke I would suggest he go outside and take a walk or tell him to stop smoking but I always received extremely hostile backlash. I tried to help him before any of this even happened and now it’s my responsibility to be a caretaker? My family basically told me to stop living my life to take care of my dad. MIND YOU I’m twenty fucking three!
Dunno about your abusive parents but mine are SO BORING, uninteresting, utterly ordinary sort of just mindless drones of conformity and generally everything and anything that isn’t fabulous or beneficial to the world at all. AND THEY TRIED TO CRUSH MY SPIRIT INTO THAT EXACT SAME SHAPE. Um.
Watched Encanto a few days ago. I cringed right quick from the beginning. It’s very ouch to see a lost child/ scapegoat/ black sheep role. Even a full out estranged child. And it irritated me bc I knew where the plot line from Mirabel was going to go… she’s the fixer. She helps heal the family, and bring them together. She had to make the effort. Then comes the cliché Disney ending where everyone realizes they were wrong, admits their problems, and everything is fixed and happy…
Nice. But reality sucks. And so many dysfunctional families will stay toxic for generations, and even if people like me want to be awake to the cycle and try to help, it will fail because the other parts of the family don’t want to disrupt their role or make an effort to be better.
So it’s certainly an emotionally triggering movie.
I like that their are many other viewers out there using it as an example of dysfunctional family dynamics, and doing psychological breakdowns of it. There’s some comfort in knowing we aren’t alone.
“Continuing my series of educational posts on the topic of dysfunctional families. This one I’ve paraphrased parts of an interview by Sam Vaknin. It explains how and why children are not actually seen as individuals by their parents who behave in abusive ways towards them, which leads to objectification.
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In dysfunctional families, children are not actually SEEN by their parents. The unhealthy parents are blind. Parents who abuse their children are suffering from some form of mental illness - they are highly traumatised people themselves. It’s important to remember this.
They are not rational people. They don’t have empathy. They are so badly damaged from their own childhood that they have cut off vital parts of their humanity - to protect themselves. The pain of their own trauma was so much that they had to shut down parts of themselves inside. They carry intense complex trauma. THIS is the reason they hurt their children and don’t seek help.
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These unhealthy parents simply LACK the ability to see their own children as separate individuals, as human beings, as separate units to themselves.
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And when they view their children like this, they OBJECTIFY their children.
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There are two ways unhealthy parents objectify their children:
1) they inflict hurt, pain and abuse
2) They put the child on a pedestal and idolise them where they can do no wrong
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In the first instance, the abused child is not a person in the parents mind but a RECEPTACLE (or a convenient container) for the parents rage, aggression, pain and inadequacies.
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In the second instance, the abused child is a RECEPTACLE for the parents dreams and expectations and is put under enormous pressure to fulfil those aspirations. The child becomes an extension of the parent.
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In both cases the child is being used as a CONTAINER for the parents psyche.
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These parents don’t allow these children to develop boundaries, a sense of personal autonomy, or personal worth. They don’t allow them to develop their own path in life. They usual micro manage. They usually impose on the child. They isolate the child socially. They regard everyone else who enters the child’s life as competition.
There’s always a state of ownership, of domination by the parent. “
