#bpd fp relationship

But one thing we should always NOT do , is scold the person.

If you see your bpd person already curled up and having the guts to be open and honest with you about their feelings in a situation when they made a mistake or they are in the wrong, do not scold them about it and point out their mistake like a punitive parent.

because chances are;
we already know all of that. We are already beating outselves in the head with it. Telling ourselves how dumb , how cowardly and how stupid we are for failing. so having a trusted person reflect those feelings to us, is even more destructive to us than hearing it from ourselves.

you truly want to help ?
Give them a hug, a kiss , hold their hand. Lend them an ear, listen atentively. Even if you dont understand what they are going through , listen to their woes.
tell them ”it´s ok to make mistakes” and that “they are strong”. Tell them that you “believe they will do better next time.”

Maybe just, tell them “Things will be ok”
That´s we all need to hear that sometimes.

Do you still feel like your bpd person needs to hear some hard truths?
Make sure you tell them once they are stable, once they can hear the wisdom in your words. Once they dont focus so atentively on all the negativety, and start getting consumed by paranoia. Dont be a punitive person and jump to scolding. Make sure they focus on improving, and not on their failure. Express how you believe they can change and encourage them to, back them up to it. Explain that, this event doesnt change the way you view them. That it doesnt change the fact that you like/love/adore them.

Just because we are sensitive, that should not isent us from hearing what needs to be said. But those precautions are needed.

And not just to people with bpd, we should be gentle to everyone.
Be gentle to those who make mistakes. Be gentle to people that genuingly want to change. Be gentle to those who come to you searching for a shoulder.