I can’t remember the last time I felt this alone

I’m getting bad again. And unlike every other time, when I’ve sought out help,

This time I’m just letting it infest me.

I want to lose weight. No matter what. I want to feel numb, because I have been stuck in a rut of feeling too much for too long.

Getting lost in myself has never hurt so much.

we do be getting used as the “toxic” friend they drop for having more than a surface level personality for character development doe.

this no friends thing not cute anymore :/

trippyplanetpluto:

Borderline Personality and Splitting Yet Again

Goddamn. Splitting really fucking sucks. I Hella vibe with this guy the other night. Last night we went out to a bar and I was still Viking with him. Took some Molly and I was all over him. But when we got to his house I smoked weed and it intensified the Molly so intensely. In my “clarity moment” I split on him. He was the sexiest thing to me. 6'6, beard, deep voice. Sexy. But when I had my reality check all the affection I was enjoying made me feel absolutely smothered. I didn’t want to touch him, or kiss him. But he’s got aspergers so he didn’t pick up on my social cues. I completely shut down. I just couldn’t wait to get out of there. He kept being lovey dovey and it just made my skin crawl. It’s crazy. Going from one extreme to another. Splitting sucks because he’s a good guy. Not good for me though. I just am no longer interested.

im such a dumbass my fp didnt even love me back lmap

“i dont want to be the fp stereotype”

she said as she abandoned me. i did it again. i completely fucked up.

100% of my peoblems would be gone if i wasnt so overemotional

how do i close this stupid hole in my soul???? im in so much pain how do i stop ot

will someone ever love me how i love others??? will my presence ever make a difference?

ive been replaced with air.

my presence didnt make a difference it seems. its been proven today that mt existance made no difference in your life

will someone ever be able to love a wreck like me

why is it my fault she ruined my birthday????? why is she too immature to apologize??? this couldve been solved so easily if you werent such a fucking moron

im all alone with no friends and no purpose to exist, what can i do to feel alive???

im not going back to her this time but the breathlessness i feel leaving is just as bad a s staying

call me old fashioned, but in this household we don’t use eupd. we use bpd like the good Bimbo Pussy Disorder (or Boobs Pretty Dignormous) skanks we are!!

gimme attention!!! wtf why isn’t anyone paying attention to me!! i’m an attention whore!!! i need it to live!!!! give me the attention i so rightfully deserve!!

sorry for the lack of actually useful posts. i’ve been out of brain juice. there is nothing sloshing around in my head except brain, idk probably a lost sock from the washing machine, a couple moths, & spiderwebs. i have had No Thoughts and that is okay!

Just gonna stop keeping my hopes up over stuff…

Fear of being abandoned ✅

I keep doing bad stuff to myself for his attention I’m just getting worse and I’m gonna push him away but I can’t stop.

My existence is not for him or anyone else this is my life and I’m not going to worry about every little thing he has ever done in the past

I need a long hug and a gentle punch in the face with a chair or something.