Summary:Bucky finally mans up and confesses everything and has to ask for forgiveness.
Warning:None
A/N:I finally decided to write the second part of this. And now I’m going to write another chapter of “Unexpected Gifts”
“I messed up big time.”
After putting you to bed and texting Steve, Bucky goes to the kitchen and cleans up everything. He puts all the food away. Of course, he can’t help but taste it while he does. Once he taste it, it only causes him to hate himself more.
“God, I’m such an idiot.” He says to himself as he puts a lid on the container.
He puts the dishes in the dishwasher then heads to his room. He gets to his room and his phone chimes with a notification. It was a message from Steve.
Steve honestly doesn’t want to know what Bucky means by his text, but he has a gut feeling it has something to do with Y/N. He shakes his head and types a response. He presses send then puts his phone away.
-What did you do?
Bucky goes on to explain what happened tonight and waits for Steve to answer. Steve never answers.
Over the next two days, Bucky doesn’t see you and he doesn’t try to look for you because he knows you don’t want to see him. What he doesn’t know is that you haven’t moved from the bed since he put you there.
The team gets back in the evening of the second day. Bucky is in the hanger to see everyone. Steve steps off the quinjet with an unreadable expression. Nat and Wanda are next. They both step off and glare at Bucky.
“Barnes, I swear if what you did is not undoable then so help me god.” Natasha’s words aren’t laced with venom.
Bucky can’t help but duck his head because he knows it’s the truth.
Nat and Wanda go inside the compound to find you. They find you exactly where Bucky left you two days ago.
You’re curled up in the bed with your back to the door. You hear the door open, thinking it’s Bucky trying to check on you, you throw a pillow towards the doorway.
“Hey, we haven’t done anything.” Wanda says as she walks into the room and joins you on the bed.
Under your eyes there is old mascara, where Bucky didn’t quite wipe it off enough. Your skin is pale and your eyes are bloodshot and puffy.
“Oh, love.” Wanda reaches over and pulls you into her.
You start to break down again. All the feelings of hurt, rejection, and so much more, all come crashing down on you.
The last two days, you just laid in your bed staring at the ceiling. You couldn’t cry or make yourself get up, you were numb.
Now, you were feeling everything. Nat joins you both in the bed.
“How about you go take a shower and get cleaned up then we will have a girl’s night? We can watch movies or do whatever you want.” Nat says looking over at you.
You turn your head towards her and nod.
“Ok then, go shower. Because not to hurt your feelings but you have a funk going on.” Nat and Wanda laugh
You can’t help but laugh with them. Nat and Wanda get up so you can get out of the bed. You slowly get up, your muscles protesting from a lack of use.
“Take as long as you need.” They smile.
You walk into the bathroom and shut the door. You look at yourself in the mirror for the first time since that night. You’re still in the dress you bought, but your earrings and necklace are missing and your makeup is half wiped off.
You know you didn’t do any of it, so you knew it had to have been Bucky. Your heart flutters just slightly at the thought of him being so kind to do those things, but it’s quickly fades and is replaced with heartbreak.
You aren’t too sure why you are heartbroken, it’s not like he knew your feelings or reciprocated them. You just wanted to be a friend to him, even if that’s all it was. Deep down, you knew you loved him, so if just being his friend was all you had, then that would be enough. You just never got the chance to even be his friend.
You turn away from the mirror and begin to strip. You through the dress into the small trash can in your bathroom. You don’t want it as a reminder of what happened.
You turn the shower on and let it warm up. In no time, the bathroom is covered with steam. You step into the steaming water and sigh in relief. Your body relaxes and relishes in the heat from the water.
Once Wanda and Natasha hear the water cut on, they get to work. They strip your bed of the covers and sheets you’ve been laying in for the past two days. Wanda puts on the fresh sheets and lights a few candles.
Natasha sends the old sheets to the laundry and starts to gather food. She orders your favorite sushi, she grabs ice cream, chocolate, and a bottle of wine or two. Natasha comes back to your room in a much better state than when she first arrived.
She puts all the food on your desk, and they wait for you to finish in the shower.
After what feels like hours in the shower, you turn the water off. You feel more human now that you’ve showered. You dry off and put on a big tshirt and pajama shorts. You towel dry your hair then exit the bathroom.
Your eyes land on the desk full of food and your stomach audibly growls. You all three laugh at the noise.
Wanda uses her power to bring the sushi over to you. You laugh a little more then climb into the bed. Wanda and Natasha sit on both sides of you. Nat turns on your favorite Disney movie, and you all dig in to the sushi.
Wanda brings over the bottle of wine. All three of you pass it around, but you seem to drink the most of it. By the end of the movie, you were more tipsy than Wanda and Natasha.
“Feel better?” Wanda asks.
You sigh and lay back. Tears start to well up in your eyes.
“To be honest.” You start. “Not really. I love you two, but I still feel like my heart has been ripped out.” Tears slip down your cheeks.
“It’s gonna be ok.” Nat says softly.
“Just give it some time.” Wanda rubs your arm.
“How am I supposed to get over him if he’s always around? I see him everyday.” You cry more. “Him and his beautiful blue eyes, his hair, and his hot body.” You sigh and cover your face with a pillow.
“I hate myself!” You groan into the pillow. “I didn’t want to fall in love with, but I did. I let him and his stupid metal arm worm his way into my heart.”
Natasha and Wanda share a look and have to keep from laughing at your alcohol filled words.
“And the thing is, I love him so much, if he apologized I would forgive him.” You move the pillow and look up at the pair of redheads. “You two probably think I’m crazy.”
“No, Y/N, you’re not crazy.” Wanda says. “I truly believe you can’t choose who you fall in love with. It just happens.”
“Is there any more wine or maybe something stronger?” You ask.
“I think I can finds us something.” Natasha gets up and goes to the kitchen.
Sam, Steve, and Bucky are all in the common room. Steve and Sam letting Bucky have it. Even if Bucky couldn’t see how you felt about him, everyone else could. That’s why everyone always told her to keep trying with him, hoping maybe one day he would finally give in.
“Guys, I get it! I know I was a terrible person to her.” Bucky sighs and lays his head back against the couch.
“Do you Barnes?” Natasha asks as she walks out of the kitchen with a bottle of vodka. “Because if you do, you better start finding a way to make it up to her. She is so in love with you that she would settle for just being your friend if you didn’t feel the same, but she would never tell you that.”
Bucky just stares at Natasha in complete shock. You were in love with him? Why? All the things he’d done in his past and the ways he treated you, how could you love him?
Nat just shakes her head before turning and going back to your room.
Bucky looks back at Steve and Sam. “What should I do?”
The guys start to come up with a plan to help Bucky make it up to you.
When Natasha walks back into your room, she finds you asleep on Wanda’s shoulder.
“What took you so long?” Wanda questions the Russian.
“I had to talk some sense into Barnes’ thick skull.” She says.
Wanda gets up from the bed, careful not to wake you. They gather up the trash from your girl’s night and quietly leave you to sleep.
They join the guys in the common room. The guys are still trying to come up with a plan.
“Maybe, I should just go talk to her.” Bucky says. “If I just tell her everything, maybe I cam fix this. Then if that doesn’t work, I don’t know.” Bucky stands up from the couch.
“She’s asleep.” Wanda stops him.
“Then I will talk to her first thing in the morning.” He sighs. Bucky decided to turn in for the night.
He walks to his room, feeling like total crap. Bucky doesn’t even want to imagine what you feel like.
Bucky has never had love. He was a ladies man in the 40s and there was definitely no love with Hydra. It was all foreign to him. The feeling he gets in his stomach when you do something for him, the affect your smile has on him, and so many other things, yet, he is a total jerk to you about everything.
Bucky didn’t want to love you because he thought he was too broken. That he was beyond repair, but he couldn’t stop himself, so he thought if he made you hate him then it would be easier on himself.
Bucky gets into his room and falls face first onto the bed. He groans into the mattress then rolls over. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. can you let me know when Agent Y/L/N is awake?”
“Of course, Sargent Barnes.” The AI responds.
Bucky gets up and gets ready for bed. He takes a shower then puts on only his boxers for bed. He settles in and forces himself to fall asleep.
It’s well after midnight when F.R.I.D.A.Y’s voice is heard in Bucky’s room. He is startled awake by her voice.
“Sargent Barnes, Agent Y/L/N is awake and in the kitchen.” She says.
“What time is it?” Bucky asks the AI.
“2:36 a.m.” She answers.
He groans as he rolls out of bed. He knows you probably don’t want to talk, but he has to. He has to get everything off his chest, and hopes you forgive him.
He is about to leave his room when he remembers he is only wearing his boxers. He quickly rushes to slip on some sweat pants and a tshirt.
He leaves his room and heads for the kitchen. He finds you searching through the medicine cabinet in the dark.
“Crap!” You whisper yell as you knock over a few pill bottles. The team kept a cabinet filled with over the counter meds for normal everyday problems.
“Maybe if you turn on the lights, you can find what you’re looking for.” Bucky reaches to turn on the lights.
“Do not turn on the lights!” You pear around the cabinet door. You knew it was Bucky by his voice.
“Why? Because you don’t want to look at me or another problem?” Bucky questions as he walks over to you.
“Both if you really want an answer, not that you deserve one.” You words are dripping with venom.
“You are totally right, I don’t.” He says softly.
You continue you search for the Advil not giving him any attention. He reaches over you and pull the bottle from one shelf above where you looking. Bucky hands you the bottle then turns to grab a water from the fridge. He hands you the bottle and watches as you take the pills.
“Can we talk?” Bucky asks.
You don’t want to say yes, but you also want to ask him why. “Sure.”
“Can I turn the lights on so we can talk?” He looks at you.
“Why do we need the lights?” You groan.
“Because I want to be able to see you clearly while we talk.” He flips the light switch. Bucky watches as you squeeze your eyes shut and grimace. After a few seconds, you open you eyes and let them adjust.
You look at him and your expression softens involuntarily. You haven’t seen him in almost four days.
“Y/N, let me just start with I’m sorry.” Bucky says. You scoff. “I don’t think I will ever be able to say that enough to make up for what all I’ve put you through.” He looks down at the ground. “I was a jerk to you because I was scared of my feelings.” He looks up at you and steps a little closer. “The first day I walked in here, I was drawn to you. But, I thought I was too broken to love anyone, so I pushed you away. I tried to make you hate me.” Bucky explains. You listen to him intently, not wanting to miss a word.
“And I will never forgive myself for the other night. I went out to meet with my therapist and to come with a plan to tell you how I really feel.” Bucky reaches out to take your hand.
You want to pull away, but his hand wraps around yours, and it feels right.
“I love you, Y/N.” Your mouth falls open at his words, utterly shocked. “I didn’t realize it until the other night when I carried you out of the dining room, that all the feelings I have when you are around are because I love you.”
He said it again, and you feel like you want to cry. “Bucky-” You try to find the words but you can’t.
“I know you right now you probably can’t forgive me for everything that I did, but maybe one day you can? Can we start over? Maybe this time we can be friends?” He looks at you with eyes filled with hope.
“Bucky, I think I’ve loved you since you got here, and even after everything you did I still love you. I don’t think I will ever stop.” You admit to him. “I can forgive you because I love you, but if you really mean it, that you love me. You have to promise me that you will never hurt me like that again.” You look up at him as tears slip down your cheeks.
He pulls you into him and places his hands on your cheeks to wipe away the tears. “I promise, doll, I will never hurt you again.”
Bucky leans down, his lips just inches away from yours. You lean up and close the small gap. Your lips meet and if sparks could fly they would be flying. The kiss is slow and gentle.
Bucky pulls away smiling. He looks down at you as a smile crosses your lips.
“I love you, Y/N.” Bucky whisper before pecking your lips again.
Summary: You just want to be Bucky’s friend though you may have a small crush. If you could just be friends that would be enough
Warnings:None…….idk.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
A/N: this idea came from my asks and it originally was supposed to be fun and fluffy and then i started writing and it turned into an angst party. The link for the dress wouldn’t work so i put a picture of it in the story.
Your relationship with Sargent Barnes is anything but friendly, which is why he is Sargent Barnes, only his friends can call him Bucky. You have tried everything you know to just be a friend to him, even though you may have slight crush on the metal armed man.
You didn’t want your friendship to be forced, so you just started by smiling and saying good morning. He never returns the smile or good morning. You try several more things, but nothing seems to work.
Your next attempt is making him cookies that Steve told you were his favorite, and that they used to get them from a bakery back in the 40s. Steve tells you the name of the bakery, and it just so happens to be the bakery your grandmother worked at when she was young.
You bake a dozen cookies and arrange them on a plate. You walk down the hall to Sgt. Barnes room, knowing he is inside, since he just finished his workout for the day.
You knock on the door and wait. The door is pulled open, and a slight smile crosses Bucky’s face when he sees the plate of cookies. The smile quickly fades when he hears your voice.
“Hey Sargent Barnes! Umm, I made you some cookies. Steve might have let it slip that these are your favorite, so I called my grandmother and got her recipe. She worked at a bakery in the 40s and 50s.” You explain to him.
The look of annoyance on his face only seems to grow as you stand there. “Why would you bring me cookies after I just finished a workout?” He asks, obviously angered by your gesture.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess that thought didn’t cross my mind. I just thought with your super soldier metabolism one cookie wouldn’t do too much damage.” You look down at the plate sadly. “I’ll just go then. If you want one, the plate will be in the kitchen.”
You turn and walk back to the kitchen, tears brimming your eyes. You place the plate of cookies on the cabinet just as Sam, Nat, and Steve enter the kitchen after their workouts.
“Oh yes! Cookies!” Sam cheers. He glances at you as to ask for permission. You nod in response.
“Why so sad?” Steve asks. “I’ve never seen someone so sad after baking cookies. Wait! Are those Bucky’s favorite?”
“Yeah.” You reply quietly. “After you told me what bakery you two would get them from, I called my grandmother for the recipe.”
“Y/N, these are amazing!” Sam compliments, bringing a small smile to your face.
Steve reaches over and grabs one. He hums in approval. “Agreed! Takes me back to being a kid in Brooklyn.”
You laugh softly. “Well, now I have to have one!” Natasha grabs one and takes a bite. She closes her eyes as she appreciates the taste of the cookie. “Oh wow!”
~~~~~~~~~
Bucky watches as you walk away. He notices the change in your posture. When he opened the door you had a big smile and you stood tall, now your shoulders were hunched and he knew you definitely weren’t smiling.
He shuts his door and groans out of frustration. Bucky has never hated you in the slightest. He was instantly drawn to you from the moment he saw you, but also in that moment, he decided that he didn’t deserve love or friendship from anyone other than Steve and Sam, if that. He also thought your friendship was you pitying him.
When he saw the tray of cookies, he really did want one, but then he realized it was you and he had to keep up the act. So, he was rude until you went away.
On the inside, Bucky’s heart broke at the sight of you when apologized for offering him a cookie. He knew the plate of cookies wouldn’t do an ounce of damage with his metabolism, but he had to keep being a jerk. You didn’t really want to be his friend. Well, that’s at least what he told himself.
~~~~~~
The rest of the afternoon is spent with Sam, Steve and Nat. They beg you to bake more cookies and to share the recipe.
“I can’t give you the recipe! My grandmother would kill me!” You laugh as you pull another tray of cookies from the oven.
“But what if you’re gone on a mission, and we really want cookies?” Sam leans against the counter with a pout on his face.
“You will just have to wait until I get back!” You place the baking sheet on the stove.
All three of them groan. You can’t help but laugh more. Once all four of you finish eating cookies, the leftovers are covered by plastic wrap.
After a few more hours of hanging out, everyone goes their separate ways. You head to your room for the night. You pass Bucky’s door and you pause for just a second. You mind races with the thoughts of what you could have done to make him hate you so much. The sound of the door opening has you running the rest of the way to your room.
Bucky walks out of his room and heads to the kitchen. His plan is just to get some water then go back to his room.
After grabbing a bottle of water, he turns to leave and sees the plate of cookies on the counter. Of course they weren’t the ones you originally made, but he didn’t know the difference.
Bucky looks to see if anyone is around. He quickly undoes the plastic wrap and grabs one.
“It really won’t do any damage.” He whispers to himself.
He bites into the cookie. He is instantly taken back to being in the 40s. How could they taste exactly the same?
Bucky can’t help himself, he takes three more cookies and hurries back to his room.
The next morning, you go into the kitchen to make breakfast. You notice that there are more cookies missing. Steve and Natasha are sitting at the table eating.
“Do you guys eat cookies for breakfast?” You ask with a chuckle.
“No, I haven’t had any since last night.” Nat responds.
“Same here.” Steve says.
“Hmm, maybe Sam got some.” You shrug and start fixing your breakfast.
While you are making your breakfast, everyone gets an alert to meet in the conference room. You sigh and stop what you’re doing to follow Nat and Steve to the conference room.
You take a seat inside the conference room next to Wanda. Once every has a seat, Tony starts going over the mission that most of the team will be gone on for the next few days.
“I’m sorry, but Y/n and metal man,” He says referring to Bucky. “your abilities will not be needed for this mission.” Tony states.
You just nod as you continue to listen. It truly isn’t a big deal to you, but Bucky isn’t too thrilled with Tony’s statement.
“So you’re telling me, I have to stay here with her?” He questions while giving you an annoyed look. You lower your gaze to the floor and sink into your chair.
“Barnes, I honestly don’t care what you do while we are gone. Just make sure you are reachable in case of an emergency.” Tony says as he places his tablet down.
Tony wraps up the meeting. Bucky is the first to stand up. He storms out of the room. Steve gives you an apologetic look as he walks by.
“Did I do something?” You ask sadly.
“No, you didn’t. He is just a difficult person.” Steve says before going in search of his friend.
You sigh and stand up to go back to the kitchen to finish your breakfast. The team would be getting ready to leave the rest of the day so no one was going to be around other than Bucky.
Before you can leave the conference room, Wanda and Nat stop you.
“Y/N, don’t give up just yet.” Nat says. “I know you want to, but I say give it one more big try then if he still won’t come around then you can try to move on.”
~~~~~~~~~
Steve leaves the conference room and goes to find his best friend. The last place he expects to find him is in the kitchen with a handful of the cookies you made.
Steve clears his throat to get Bucky’s attention. Bucky looks like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, which technically is exactly what’s happening
“You know you’re kind of a jerk, right?” Steve asks rhetorically.
Bucky puts the cookies back on the tray and finishes eating the one in his mouth.
“She has done absolutely nothing but try and be nice to you! Hell, if I were her, I would have given up a long time ago.”
Bucky looks down at the ground. “I don’t understand why she wants to be my friend. I mean she’s just trying to pity me!”
“Wow! I guess you’ve kept all the stupid with you.” Steve rolls his eyes. “She’s not pitying you! She truly wants to be your friend. That’s just who Y/N is. She sees past every flaw a person has, she is kind, she is loyal to a fault, and she can make some really good cookies.” Steve goes on.
At that moment, Bucky feels like the biggest douche on the planet.
“And I’ve been the biggest jerk to her since I got here.” Bucky looks at Steve, who silently agrees with him.
“Try and do better while the rest of us are gone.” Steve pats Bucky on the shoulder before he walks away to pack for the mission.
Bucky goes back to his room to think. He knows he has to apologize.
~~~~~~~~~
You get into the kitchen and finish your breakfast. After you eat, you do your laundry, go for a quick workout then decide to relax for the rest of the day.
The team leaves around 10 at night, so after they’ve left, you head to your room for the night. While you’re in bed, you start thinking of one final attempt to show Bucky you truly want to be a part of his life.
The next day you make sure to avoid Bucky at all cost so you can execute your final act. You even ask F.R.I.D.A.Y where he is to make sure you don’t see him. You spent almost the entire night trying to come up with a plan. Finally, at 2:30 a.m. you decided on a plan. You are going to make him his favorite meal and wear a dress that resembles that of one from the 40s. You tried to learn some slang from the time period but it was much to confusing for you.
After eating breakfast, you leave the compound to go into the city. You stop by a small clothing boutique then you swing by the grocery store. Once you finish you head back to the compound.
You get back to the compound and head straight to the kitchen.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y., where is Sargent Barnes?” You ask the AI as you chop vegetables.
“He left the compound about an hour ago, Ms. Y/L/N.” She informs you.
“Oh, did he say where he was going?” You ask.
“No, he did not. Would you like me to run a trace on him?” The AI asks.
“No, thank you.”
You continue on in the kitchen until everything is done or in the oven. You glance down at your watch and see that it is almost 6 o’clock. You are hoping Bucky will be back soon. You head to your room to clean up and wait for Bucky.
You quickly shower, throw on your new dress, put on a little make-up and fix your hair.
You slide on a pair of sandals and head back to the kitchen to get everything out of the oven. You set the table while everything is cooling off. Once everything is cool enough to handle, you place all the food on the table.
You look down at your watch and it is a quarter to seven,
“Surely he will be back soon.” You think to your self as you sit down at the table.
You wait and wait. You stare at the platters on the table, filled with untouched food. The last time you check your watch it is 9 o’clock. You sigh and lay your head down on the table. Tears start to build up and drip down on to the table. Your emotions are running wild and eventually just drain you. You feel yourself falling asleep, but you don’t bother making a move to get up.
It’s a quarter to a eleven when Bucky steps off the elevator into the common room. His super sense of smell picks up the lingering scent of his favorite meal. Bucky walks around the room until the dining table comes into view. He sees the table filled with food that has long gone cold and a chocolate cake on a decorative cake stand that reminds him of the cake his mother would make.
The next thing he spots is your slumped figure against the table. He takes in your appearance, the pink linen dress, pearl earrings, a small amount of make that has been ruined by tears.
His mind is running a thousand miles a minute. You did this all for him, and he had to go and mess it all up. He left the compound to meet with his therapist and think about what he could do to make it up to you. And now he knows whatever plan he came up with will never make up for this.
He gently scoops you up from your chair and starts carrying you to your room.
“Bucky?” You whisper.
“Yeah, doll, it’s me.” He confirms.
In your half asleep state, you begin to cry again. “I’m sorry Sargent Barnes, for whatever I’ve done. I just wanted to be your friend and- and-” You sob into his neck.
He makes it to your room and walks inside. He pulls back the covers of your neatly made bed and lays you down. Once Bucky lays you down, you go back to sleep. Bucky takes your shoes off, takes out the pearl studs, and wipes your smeared make-up off.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’ll never be able to make it up to you.” He leans down and kisses your forehead before leaving the room.
He sends Steve a message once he gets back to the common room. “I messed up big time.”
The hot water now off, and the cold sets in. Bucky still hugs your damp figure as you lay on the end of the unmade bed, having Bucky only walked you to the bed once your steamy session was finished. You rub his back, fingers grazing over the metal that connects to flesh. A soft hum erupts through the soldier on top of you.
“Can we just stay like this? I’ve never been more relaxed in years…” He groans, letting all his muscles and limps mould into yours.
“As much as I would love that, we need to get up.” You huff in your own disappointment. Feeling Bucky sigh. He gets up, allowing you to get dressed in some sweats and a sports bra while he picks up his clothes from last night. Putting on his boxers he take leave to his room to get dressed but you had other plans.
Sneaking to his room just after him. You let yourself in with a big smile as he puts on his black sweats. You giggle, going to his dresser before pulling out his plain black shirt that you swear is the only thing he wears.
“What are you doing doll.” He smirks putting on a dusted blue shirt for once. You put the shirt on before giving him a twirl, smiling at the feeling of the large fabric warming you.
“God princess, you look so cute in my clothes.” He wraps his arms around your waist, bringing you into a kiss on your cheeks and forehead. Smothering you with love. His kisses trail to your neck, sucking hard, leaving behind a bright purple mark.
“I can’t get enough of you…” He groans, pushing you against the dresser, trapping you with his arms and body. He curses but also thanks the serum for giving him this much stamina and drive. His metal hand danced around the waistband of your pants, before snaking their way inside. Pushing past your panties, his metallic fingers glide inbetween your folds.
“J-James.” You gulp, wrapping your arms around his neck. His lips grazing your ear his hot breath tinglings down your flesh.
“You are so perfect, Darling. Always so wet for me.” He growls, his mental finger finding your hole. But before he could enter you, his door opens abruptly, seeing Steve stand there wide-eyed.
“Oh Jesus, I thought you were alon-no- uh- Sorry…” He closes instantly after regretting his actions. You freeze feeling embarrassment fill you. Bucky blinks wide-eyed for a moment before turning his attention to you, holding your cheek.
“It was only Steve, he won’t say anything. Don’t worry.” He settles your mind, fixing your pants.
Chatters and small talk echoed through the hallway, steve enters the kitchen again after saying he was going to try to catch Bucky in his room while he was alone but when the team notices him enter alone, their minds wander to, maybe something went wrong.
“Where’s cyborg?” Tony takes a sip of his drink. The chatter gets louder as you and Buck drew closer to the kitchen. Finally retching the door entrance, Sam is the first to see you both.
“Ah Morning Buck,” Sam spoke, a grin directed to Bucky, making him feel discomfort and confusion at Sam’s perkiness. You slip from behind him, heading straight for the coffee machine, making Sam catch your presents.
“And morning y/n. I hope you both slept well.” Sam continued to speak, smirking at the soldier while taking a sip of his coffee that was most certainly laced with double the amount of caffeine you are supposed to put in a normal cup.
“We slept fine, thanks, Sam.” You smiled, your back turned away from the team as you pour you and Bucky a cup. The team eyed Bucky as the poor boy just stood there with no words on his mind. He has never been in a situation where the team clearly knows he ’got some’ as Sam likes to put it. You turn around handing the cup to Bucky. He takes it from you without a second, taking a sip of the hot liquid.
“Well come on, when did-arh hey!” Sam’s words got cut off by an elbow from Clint. Silencing him so he wouldn’t embarrass Bucky even more than he already feels.
“So since Tinman and newbie are finally here, I want to ask a question,” Tony said.
“Tony leave them alone, ask later.” Wanda’s motherly tone ripped through her words, lightly hitting the shoulder of the playboy next to her.
“What do you want Stark?” You ask, leaning against the bench where the coffee machine sits.
“Well this is actually for Bucky boy, but we looked over some of the files and we found one that interested us. It was about a little girl and we are led to believe you might have known her personally. We wanted to know some information about her if you can provide it of course.” Tony’s words hit like a bus, the world seemed to stop spinning. Bucky has near the same expression as you, going pale at the males words. Your body became numb as you dropped the cup in your hand, the hot liquid splashing everywhere, the sound of shattering ceramic echoing through the large opened kitchen.
“Oh god are you okay?” Steve asked seeing the hot coffee has splashed on your legs. Nat and Steve immediately started picking up some pieces while you stayed frozen at what you heard.
“Hey Darling, look at me.” Bucky’s words were soft, sweet, trying to draw you away from panic but the thought of all the team members knowing who you really were right at this moment scared the life out of you. The terrifying truth is relieved without your power. It was like the world was coming to an end right in front of you. Bucky’s voice broke in your head, holding your shoulders tightly. You glanced up at him, a tear threatening to escape your wide eyes.
“I-I’m sorry…I didn’t mean…I” You push Bucky off you and almost run down the hallway trying to get to your room as quickly as possible, leaving everyone confused.
“What just happened?” Clint asks, as his wandering eyes watch—along with the rest of the team—you run down the hall until you were out of sight.
“She seems pretty distraught. Maybe someone should follow her.” Wanda goes to stand up but Bucky cuts her off, saying he will talk to her afterwards. hesitant at first, she agrees, taking her seat again.
“Well on that note, care to tell us who she is?” Tony spoke up, only wanting to talk about the task at hand. Nat and Steve finished cleaning up the cup before taking their seats again. Everyone now looks at Bucky waiting for an answer. He didn’t want to say anything, not wanting to bring up your dark past, but at the same time, he knew they wouldn’t let him leave unless he spoke up.
“She was another experiment, just like me. What else do you want from me?” Bucky starts getting colder on the matter, becoming defensive, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Oh come on, tell us anything juicy!!”
“Did you know her personally?”
“Did she go through the same mind thing as you?”
“How about her powers what were they?”
“Ok, that enough!” Bucky yelled cutting everyone off. Anger now surged through him, wanting nothing more than to leave this conversation. Racking his fingers through his hair before scratching his chin.
“She was a little girl. She shouldn’t have been there, but her father was cruel enough to give her to hydra. Yes, I know her, No I won’t tell you her powers and…She only went through it once…Because of me.” Bucky’s voice broke a little at the end of his words, still feeling guilt from the time back in Hydra. scoffing to himself, he begins to walk back to search for you, not wanting to answer any more hurtful questions about the past. The tension in the air became so thick it could be sliced with a knife. Everyone feels a sense of guilt, feeling bad for poking the bear.
“Bucky wait one more question…” Nat stopped him as he held onto the door frame before turning around to look at her.
“What do you mean know her? Shouldn’t you say knew? Does that mean you still know where she is?” Tony scoffs as Bucky curses at himself at his slip up trying to think for a moment on what to say.
“You said one question, what was three…” He spoke bluntly before turning to walk off in the same direction as you. but he was stopped with a panting Bruce running past him.
“Woah what’s up with you, Green man.” Tony laughs.
Warnings:Talking about the past, pet name, Bucky is a love sick puppy, sappiness like tooth rotten sappy. kissing, rough shower sex, mentions of alcohol.
Synopsis: The morning after leads to questioning gossip among the team and a nice hot refreshing shower.
“Hey, Has anyone seen Y/n? I can’t find her anywhere?” Wanda asks the team that all sit on the curved couches in the large main lounge room. The party has now but died down, leaving only a few close friends and the team to be wondering the compound.
“Last time I saw her, She was with Bucky on the balcony.” Sam wiggles his eyebrows, taking a smug filled sip of his beer.
“They’re not there anymore?”
“Now you think of it where did they run off to? I thoug—” Nat’s words got cut off at a shocked face Tony and panting Bruce, obviously trying to keep up with the playboy.
“You guys might want to take a look at this…” All the crew are quick to get up from their seats, heading down the hall to the meeting room. Tony Brings up the screen board that sits at the front of the room, while Bruce works the computer on the small desk next to it. A small USB flips through Tony’s fingers before he chucks it to Bruce.
“Come on what’s with all the tension, spill already.” Nat snarls slightly annoyed at the dark-haired for interrupting her earlier. Bruce stuck the USB in the computer, before beginning to talk.
“When people started to leave the party, Tony and I thought we should go have a little skim over the files that we got back from the latest mission.” Tony continued Bruce’s words;
“Most were basic information but One file caught our eye.” Tony threw the file onto the table, making it slide until it retched Steve that sat at the end. Opening it, The file contains, photos, documents, logbooks, and some note sheets about new experimentation that Hydra was doing.
“The file came with a USB, Which we decided to try and unlock but the coding on it is corrupted, showing us locked files. But we should be able to unlock it by tomorrow.” Bruce clicks a few buttons before showing locked files on the USB reading ‘Subject 02’, Surveillance 1-19, and More written in German.
“It seems this subject was the second to undergo heavy experimentation. The same unit Bucky was in.” It was like a pin dropped in the thick silence. Steve suddenly had full focus on the screen in front of them. Nat pulls a photo out of the file that’s on the large table, showing a little girl with her back facing the camera. Bright white wings covered in blood was the centrepiece of the photo, notes written on top, written in Russian and some in German.
“It says birth deformity? Does this mean this child was born with wings?” Nat passed the photo to Wanda, her shocked expression examines the photo.
“How is that possible?” Sam speaks up crossing his arms, leaning back on his chair, feeling a gross feeling in his chest from viewing the photos.
“We have no idea but we plan on getting answers tomorrow,” Tony said.
“What?” Clint almost coughed out confused at the man’s words.
“What he means is, we want to take care in this situation and try and understand what happened. We aren’t just going to barge in and harass Barnes on the matter.” Bruce cut Tony’s word, eyeing him with a stern stare.
“We can always get Wanda to read his cyborg mind.” Tony pops his lips with his words.
“Hang on, Buck knew her during his winter soldier phase? But he wasn’t himself what makes you think he’ll remember someone that probably meant nothing to him. There will be no need to read his mind.” Steve ticked off at the thought of his friend getting probed and invaded yet again. Bruce sighed at the tension spilling from Steve, trying to find the words to ease the room.
“We are not doing anything or telling Barnes until we open the USB. Who knows what we’ll find. But until then, we wait.” Bruce cuts all the chatter in the room off, wanting nothing more than to hurry up and get into the locked USB, so they can seriously get to the bottom of this new madness.
The bright sun creeps its way through the curtains of the warm room. Limps overlapping one another as soft snores are heard along with little grunts now and again. Bucky’s dream fades away slowly as his heavy eyes open, separating the sleep from the slit of his lids. His head moves ever so slightly, spotting your face tucked away in his chest, softly nuzzling your nose into him whenever you moved. Your hair is messy, makeup from last night is still on, but now it’s faded and smudged. Your warmth fills him with joy, having your weight gifting him security and comfort.
This was the first night in years he didn’t wake up from a night terror, nor did he have any sort of discomfort. Not even one. All he had was pure happiness, and it was all coming from the person his heart is aching for right beside him. You are the most beautiful thing to him. His angel that he wants to be with for the rest of his life. Your soft snores tickle his chest as your breath is hot. You twitch in your sleep, clearly dreaming of something entertaining to you. You are—
“James…” You whisper snapping Bucky from his thoughts of you. His face lights up hearing his first name slip from your tongue. He doesn’t like his first name, only making people he dislikes or don’t know to call him that, but for some reason, you calling him James makes his heart flutter. Seeing your glossy doe eyes stare back up to him. He can see little bits of sleep you haven’t rubbed out of your eyes yet.
“Morning Darling.” He gives you a soft smile. You nuzzled into his chest, trying to get closer to him, even if that is physically possible you don’t know. Taking in his scent you smile, finally happy.
“Morning Handsome.” You say in a cheeky tone. He chuckles at the nickname, rolling onto his back, keeping his hold on you, making your top half fall on top of him. You lift your head seeing him with a smile.
“Does coffee sound nice?” He growls out, his voice still gravelly from last night. You nod, moving off him slowly. A burning pain suddenly erupts in your lower half, hissing slightly at the pain. Bucky quickly notices, rubbing his thumb over your sore thighs while leaning on his arm.
“Sorry doll, it always hurts the morning after… I must have been a bit too rough.” He says with a little gilt in his words. You just kick them away, kissing his lips softly, saying you’re okay and it’s not too sore.
“Have a shower, put some comfy clothes on. We have the day off. I’ll go get the coffee and we can sit in your lounge, okay?” He gives you a gummy smile. You just laugh lightly at his expression, waddling over to him with your sore legs, gliding your hands up his slightly hairy chest.
“Or you can join me in the shower, and we can go get coffee together afterwards.” You let out a smile with your cheeky request. Bucky swears his heart jumped at the moment and all the blood from his brain went down south within seconds. Picking you up quickly, he almost runs to the connected bathroom to your room, wanting nothing more than to get under the hot water as soon as possible.
“Moring Caps, how are you.” Wanda and vision enter the main kitchen, seeing Sam and Steve sitting at the island bench having their morning coffee. Nat walks in soon after grabbing herself a cup also, taking a seat next to Sam. While they all chatter, Sam decides to make a sly remark.
“So Mr, Soldier boy still missing.” He jokes.
“He didn’t go to his room last night that’s for sure. I went to check on him this morning to see if he wanted to go on a morning run, but his bed was not slept in.” Steve tilted his head slightly taking a sip of his coffee.
“I wonder where he could be?” Vision spoke, rubbing his hand along Wanda’s back lovingly.
-
“J-James…” His kisses trail down your wet skin, as his fingers circle around your sensitive bud. You grip tight on his wet hair, feeling hot from the man in front of you and the hot stream pours from the showerhead.
-
“Maybe he had too much of Thor’s Asgardian alcohol and got drunk so he passed out somewhere?” Nat questions, not thinking that was too far of a stretch.
“Maybe he just got drunk off something else?” Sam wiggles his brows.
-
Bucky holds you tightly against the wet tiled wall, both of his hands squeezing hold rest on the underside of your thighs as he eases into you with a slow thrust. You choke out a breathless moan, nails digging into his back as you kiss him roughly. His thrusts are low and deep, hitting you harder than last night, wanting nothing but the deepest pleasure.
“That’s it darling, you take me so well. My best girl.” He darkly chuckles. His deep thrusts getting faster and hard to an almost inhuman speed.
-
“He’s probably still sleeping. Here let’s solve your mystery hmm?” Wanda chuckles, clicking the button in the centre of the table, bringing up the A.I Friday.
“Hey Friday, can you please tell us where Bucky is right now?”
“Mr Barnes Is taking a shower.”
“See he’s fine—He is located in on the east wing. He is also accompanied by Ms Y/n.” Wanda’s words were cut off by the A.I making Steve spit out some of his coffee.
“Damn Bucky going back for seconds ha, respect soldier boy.” Tony laughs as he enters the kitchen overhearing some of the conversations.
“Gross Stark.” Steve coughs, still choking on his coffee.
“Oh just because you are 100 years old doesn’t mean you should act like it blondie.” Tony scoffs out a chuckle, pouring himself a drink. They all end up talking, questioning how you two seem to become so close so quickly, wanting nothing more but for the two of you to hurry up and join them in the kitchen so they can ask all their gossipy questions.
Bucky stood there in shock, a ball of saliva grew stuck in his neck. Everyone finally knew the dark past you both have been so desperately trying to hide. And now after all this time trying to keep the secrets, he couldn’t do anything but stand frozen, like a deer in headlights. All eyes were on him, he felt guilt shivering through his body… Hiding something this big from his friends was not his intention but he also felt guilt for you. guilt from not being about to protect you from your past. He needed to see you, before anyone else could, Before-
“Mr, Stark your silent alarm has gone off in sector 5 near the dorm rooms. Some unauthorized people entered the building and–s-d-sto—” Friday’s voice stuttered before shutting down.
“Friday? Friday!!” Tony spoke louder, typing on the main keypad on the large meeting table but nothing happened. Someone managed to shut down the whole A.I mainframe in the compound. The team started to worry about who and why someone would enter the compound. Who would have the gust to try and break into a stark industry building. But something clicked in Bucky, like a pin dropping in a silent room. Puzzle pieces finally coming together.
“Y/n…” Bucky’s heart dropped, his feet taking off before his mind. Running down the hallway towards the large staircase, choosing on taking the stairs as the elevator was far too slow for him. He called out your name over and over as he ran through each room and hall. Finally getting to your room he banged on the door in a panic trying to open the door but it was locked.
“Y/n open the door, please. Y/n…OPEN THE DOOR!!” Panic surged through him, feral-ness clouding his judgement. He ran at the door, hitting it with his metal shoulder. He broke your door, seeing your normally clean room, trashed. The large bay window was shattered and scattered. Shards covered the lounge room floor and furniture. Out of anger, he threw the closest thing to him. A glass that sat on the counter. Steve came in with a huff seeing his best friend in the middle of the mess. Bucky turned to see the blonde, feeling tears fill his eyes he chokes out.
“She gone…”
-
Your mind was foggy, a surge of pain on the left side of your head, most likely from being hit with a large object earlier in an effort to knock you out. A jump in the road made you notice your surroundings. You were in a van, in chains. ’great’ you thought, shaking your head, trying to get your blurry vision to focus. You were alone, having only the two people in the front of the vehicle. One in the driver’s seat and the other in the passenger. Shifting around you pull at your wrist, seeing the chains tighten as you move. The chains were made out of vibranium, so you couldn’t melt them even if you tried.
“Fuck…” You whisper, leaning your head against the van wall, you close your eyes trying to calm your breathing. The van came to a stop, seeing the two people in the front get out. Shuffling back, you try your best to get out of your restraints but as the back door opens and the blaring sun peaks through, you realize…..what was the point.
“Hello my Song Bird, You finally flew back home.” Mr, A smiled as two Hydra agents dragged you out of the van by the chains around your wrists and neck. He grabbed you by your chin, pulling you up to his face, you spit in his face making him let go of you. He wipes his face with a chuckle before his expression turns sour, backhanding you hard across your cheek, making you fall.
“Pierce.” You scoffed spitting blood onto the floor.
“Take her to sector B4…” He kneels down you your level tilting his head while looking you up and down. “We have some catching up to do.”
Genre: Action, Smut, Fluff, Angst, lots of pain :)
Type: Bucky x AFAB! Reader
Warnings: blood, gore, lots of angst, the team all seeing some graphic sh*t. Bucky relives his traumatic past, Reader gets hurt badly! Please me cautious when reading.
Synopsis: The team finally get to see the one thing you tried desperately to keep hidden.
Everyone quickly piled into the meeting room, letting Bruce stand at the computer at the front, ready to open the files on the hard drive that they’ve been waiting to unlock since they first got it. Bucky swiftly takes his seat alongside everyone, opting to leave you out on this as it might cause more pain than you need. Bouncing his legs up and down repeatedly, while everyone looks at the screen at the front of the room.
The opened hard drive is filled with files titled, experiments, notes, mission reports and more. Switching between English, German and Russian spelling. Tony clicks his tongue, gesturing for Bruce to click the experimentation file. Listening to the other male, Bruce opens the file seeing a bunch of word docs and videos. Bucky’s heart feels a string of uneasiness as it races out of his chest, bellowing a sickness to his stomach. This was a moment he never wanted to happen.
“What’s that one?” Sam pointed out one video, making Buck gulp down a ball of saliva. A video titled ‘First Encounter 1945/1995’. Pressing play the team is met with a woman on the screen. She is wearing a lab coat, setting up the camera on the side of the desk, facing a chair. Once she turns her body to the side, the team gasp, seeing a young Bucky laying chained to it.
“Experiment file 56029B Reader for memory filing I—” The women’s words got cut off by an alarm before she quickly made her way out the room, leaving the camera rolling. She left the door open, letting a small child slip inside.
They recorder this?!
Bucky thought sitting forward-leaning onto the table in front of him. He has a sour expression on his face, disgusted they had such a memory on tape. A memory he thought only you and him would only share.
“Is that her?” Clint spoke looking over at the actions of Bucky, but Cap was quick to ’shh’ him telling him to keep watching.
“Hi, are you okay?” Her small voice echoed in the room, her back was facing the camera giving the team no description of her features. Before the team could see anything else, Bucky stood up hard, pressing the space bar on the keyboard, pausing the video.
“C-can we go to a different video…Please.” Bucky whispered, he was broken, his heart aching. Seeing you as a child and him back in that place. He couldn’t handle the thought. Bruce understood, nodding at him with a soft smile, letting Buck take his seat again while he looked for another video.
The first half of the video was blurred, chopping through different cameras. Security cameras. That was until a loud scream enters everyone’s ears. A bone-shaking scream along with sobs with yelps of a name…Bucky’s name. It was you, but younger you, strapped to the same chair Bucky would sit in when his mind was altered. You were tossing and turning, trying to escape, but you couldn’t. The camera that was placed at the end of the room, showcasing everyone that resided inside. Bucky banged up and bloody in a corner, barely breathing. Your face is still not shown in the video, with long hair covering most of your features.
The whole team fell silent at the scene unfolding in front of them. They all knew the pain that these videos brought, others even going through the same feelings from their own pasts. But this was something they never thought they’d ever see.
The video skipped again to a different room, the girl, hanging by her arms, bright white wings attached to wires, stretching them out.
“Woah those are some big wings.” Nat’s jaw was dropping along with the others.
“They’re beautiful…” Wanda whispered feeling a tear run down her cheek.
But the beauty didn’t last long as they all see a large man with a jagged chain saw, with another man covered with a mask behind him. The masked man stood in front while the other stood in between your wings. The masked man grabbed her chin lifting her face up but still was unseen by the camera angled camera.
“My songbird lost her way. You know what happens to birds that try to fly too far from the nest…” The masked man lowly speaks, holding her chin tighter. “They get clipped.” in a millisecond the man with the chain saw starts to cut the girls wings from the base. She shrieks out in pain as the rusted tool slices and breaks through your bones and feathers. Blood painting the white red.
Bucky stands up not wanting to see any more of these videos. Tears fall from his eyes, he fights the urge to break down, But as soon as he gets to the door, he hears something that makes his heart stop.
Warning/s:nothing much, maybe some depressing moods
Summary:Being single on Valentines day doesn't have to be depressing.
a/n:It was supposed to be for Valentines day, its just a little late. and I’m sorry about the tittle I just cant think of a good one. (but I’m just really lazy to think one)
“are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Wanda asked for at least the whole day. she was already on the door, but her feet seem to not move at the thought of leaving without you.
Shaking your head, you smiled and approach her. “no, you don’t need me whining about my lonely life in the background, you guys enjoy your night” you mumbled, fixing her dress and making one last check on her entire get up.
“Alright, but if you change your mind-”
Before she can say more, you grab her shoulder and turn her around towards the door, where Vision was already waiting outside. “I know, I know, enjoy”
She gave you one last look before they disappear into the distance. Turning back into the tower you were greeted by utter silence. Almost everyone had something to do on Valentine’s day, either they have a Date or they just busied themselves with something.
But being single is not all that bad, Valentine’s dates for singles shouldn’t be sad unless you want it to be. So with the towers almost empty you relaxed your shoulders and begun to plan your evening.
The plan was simple, cook some dinner and binge watch some cringe movie. However, nothing seems to be working your way as the simple meal you hope to eat burns. You let out curses as you quickly put out the fire before hearing footsteps approaching.
You lifted your head, tilting it on the side to see Bucky walk in, followed by a gentle breeze that circulated the room. Your chest fluttering as his eyes met yours. If only he knew how much he affected you, while everyone was frightened with his big strong man image, he had the opposite effect on you. Something about him seems to sit so well with you.
Months and years of painful flirting with him, plus countless drunken confessions he never did ask you out so you never did anything about your feelings for him again.
“oh, you’re here?” you asked, your voice quiet and gentle as you run the water on the burned pan.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come out of my room” A guilt and disappointed look passed on his face. Making you quickly realize the heaviness of the words you spoke.
“no! No! That’s not what I meant!” You quickly called as he turned around to leave. He stops on his tracks before turning back again.
Wiping your hands on the towel you cautiously step out the counter. “I just didn’t expect you to be home on Valentine’s day”
You gently spoke but the thought of him being with someone makes your chest tighten in pain.
His eyes glazed over at your question before shaking his head at you. “Don’t have anywhere to go” his voice came out hoarse, and before you can ask what he’s going to do in the kitchen, your question was answered with the growling of his stomach.
You and Bucky exchanged looks, his eyes more on embarrassment before your chuckles filled the silent hall. The previous awkward air was all gone.
Glancing at the burned pans and messy kitchen, that you were sure you would be yelled out by Tony later, there no way you can cook and you’re not sure if Bucky can.
“Should we order take out and watch some movie?” You asked, wishing he would agree. Your heart leap in Joy when he gave you a nod.
“ We can open some of Tony’s prize wine” you smirk, tilting your chin up at the lined up expensive wines behind the glass.
“wouldn’t he get mad?” He asked
You shrugged with a laugh “I’m sure he wouldn’t even notice it’s gone”
“come on”
Halfway through the rom-com movie with Chinese take-out on both your hands and a half-empty wine. Your attention diverted to the winter soldier who can’t seem to take his eyes away from you.
After making sure he was looking at you, you took your eyes away from the movie. “what? is there something on my face?” You asked, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand “Is it the sauce?”
He looks flustered for being caught but eventually cleared his throat. “no, it’s just…It’s not making sense”
You turned to look at him, raising one brow"what is?“
"how come you don’t have a date tonight?” He questions as he straightened his back up to look into your eyes. Your mouth fell open as you attempted to formulate a witty but honest response but instead, a flirty one came out.
“how come you never asked me for a date?”
“what?” You watched as Bucky swallowed and his eyes dilated.
“You heard me, Sargent,” you said putting down the Chinese take-out on the table.
“oh, I ..”
Silence threatens to take over and one look on his expression feels like you’ve been washed over by cold water. Your brain reminded you what you’ve just done and why you stop flirting with him. Thought he looks cute being flustered after flirting with him You hated seeing him awkward, depress, and solemn.
After a moment, you clear your throat.
“Sorry, must be the wine talking, you know me when I get drunk” you sheepily spoke. Referring to the countless times you got drunk and confess to him, without him doing anything about it.
Turning your gaze back on the TV, He smiles bitterly “right”
“It’s not like I’m your type anyway” you mumbled to yourself but thanks to his hearing he heard it anyway.
“that’s not true” he quickly tears his eyes away from the TV to you, then down to his hands like it’s the most interesting thing in the world right now.
“It just someone like me…is not for someone like you”
Upon hearing his words a frown etched in your face as you shifted on the couch to face him, the movie already forgotten on the background “someone like you? Bucky do you see yourself in the mirror? You’re like equal footing with Steve”
“I’m a broken man Y/n, I’m not a hero” he admitted, his words shattering your heart.
“then we’re seeing differently, when I look at you I don’t see a broken man, I see a man working hard to fix himself and correct the things he never intended to do, you’re not broken you’re just….” you pause for a moment to think “… Have cracks at the moment but we’ll fix it one step at a time”
You beamed, smiling brightly at him.
Earning his lips to upturned “I don’t think there’s much a difference between broken and crack, doll”
“that’s not the point! The point is they’re both fixable” you pouted earning another smile on his lips. Suddenly your eyes met and unlike the countless times he turned away, he finds it hard to look away this time, and so were you.
He didn’t allow his eyes to drift away from yours as he stares at you intently.
“Why do you like me so much?” He asked quietly. His question startling you for a second before you began to process how it all started.
Breaking your eye intact with him you cross your arms and slouch on the soft couch, eyes fixed on the TV but not watching it “I think I like you even before I met you”
“what? How I that even possible?”
“Steve used to tell me stories about you, how much you cared about him, how you protect him, and how you’re always there with him. He told me everything you did for him and it made me want to be loved like that, to be love and cared for by a person that much, then I met you and before I know it I’m falling in love” you explained, reminiscing about the times you wonder how it would felt to be loved like that.
You knew the other avenger’s care and love you but there’s a difference between being loved by a person who sees you for you.
A sigh leaves his throat “Y/n I don’t think I-”
“no it’s alright, you don’t like me that way and it’s okay,” you said quickly, you already made him uncomfortable countless times, the least you can do is spare him the explanation and spare yourself with the heartache.
“no, I like you…a lot actually” he almost whispered, his lips in a tight smile before his mood downhill as his eyes landed on his bionic arms. Opening and closing his fingers as of resting if it was real.
You didn’t miss the look of his face darkening as he clenched his hands.
“I just don’t want to affect you with my burden”
Your eyebrows furrowed one again as you scoot closer to him and took his bionic hands with yours, intertwining them together. Your other hand cupping his cheeks and turning his head to look at you.
“Bucky, trust me, you’re not a burden” you coaxed, voice gentle and soft. The way his eyes shone under the dimly lighted room or the way he gulps. You swore this man will be your death,
Bucky’s gaze traced every detail on your face and once again he found it hard to look away he swallowed thickly, trying to distract from the urges of his mind. But his body moved even before he can think.
Your heartbeat loudly against your chest as you watched him lean in closer. You felt how his hand felt against your face to keep you in place
Your faces were a mere centimeters apart, you can practically feel his breath against you when he stops. “is this okay?”
You chuckled at his words “definitely” you breathe and that all it took before he leaned down and captured your lips.
“Bucky” you mumbled against his lips after you pulled away slightly, a wide grin mirroring each other’s expression.
He drapes his arm around your shoulder and pulled you against him.“ this means we’re together right?” He asked hesitantly,
“do you want it to be?” You asked peaking up to meet his eyes on you.
“more than anything in the world” he smiled, just enough to melt your heart all over again.
“then that settles it,” you contently said, burying yourself on his chest as he lands another kiss on your forehead.
this is for a Bucky Barnes x female!reader. If anyone would like it changed to adoption instead of pregnancy or nonbinary!reader or male!reader, I can post that too. Xx
I would honestly have to say that I would die for dad!bucky
Now, in the early stages of your marriage, he’d totally see you with nieces, nephews, friends children and imagine your life together.
Like whenever you’d be at a family gathering or with Morgan or Clints kids, he would just be in a total state of awe.
Sam noticed it first, teasing his friend before Bucky finally admitted he wanted it.
The family.
The security
He wanted all of it.
So as soon as the two of you got home, he wanted to start trying for that baby, taking you to bed and not letting you go for hours.
You were just as on board, a little less than he was but just as enthusiastic, and couldn’t wait to have your own children running around the house.
Bucky would hold you in his arms, his hands brushing through your hair as you discussed the future
“Bucky,” You whispered as you leaned into his chest, feelings his hands brushing through your hair. “Yeah,” he mumbled, kissing your forehead as the two of you looked at each other.
“What would you name your child?” She asked. Bucky wasn’t expecting the question so he thought about it before answering, “Becky or Winnie, for my sister and mother. Or maybe if it was a boy, something to do with Steve. He saved me life more times than I could count,” he explained.
So when you kept getting those negative tests, every one was like a kick in the gut, like someone was telling Bucky that he wasn’t worthy of having this family.
But one morning you didn’t feel so great, and not wanting to get your hopes up, you thought it was just a flu.
Bucky, on the other hand, thought you should get a test done just in case. So you reluctantly decided to do it.
And you sobbed on the floor of the bathroom when you saw three pregnancy tests all saying the same thing.
Positive
He was overjoyed when he found out, holding you in his arms and whispering thank yous.
When you got the news officially from the doctor, you were both full of happiness and Bucky didn’t think he could love you anymore.
The entire avengers facility was full of joy when they found out that the two of you were expecting a baby, Tony instantly taking you of the rosters for missions.
Everyone was ready to be the fun uncle and aunt, Nat and Sam having constant arguments over who was the coolest out of the two of them.
At the baby shower, you didn’t really care about the gender. You just wanted them to be okay and healthy.
But Tony pushed for the party, inviting all the avengers and watching as you and Bucky popped the baloons.
When he saw the little pink ribbons falling from them, Bucky swept you up in his arms before kneeling down to kiss your stomach.
“Hey baby girl,” he whispered as his hands cradled the bump that was very obvious to everyone now, “You’re gonna be just as brave and brilliant as your mummy aren’t you?”
You couldn’t believe this, your heart filled with joy as it all became real, as everything became just as you wanted. Bucky stood up, holding your face in his hands and pulling your lips against his. “I love you,” he whispered and you chuckled, whispering it back.
Sometimes Bucky would be worried about whether he’d be a good father but you were sure that he was.
When you finally went into labour, he went into immediate dad mode and had to help you throughout all of it.
“One more push please ma'am,” the nurse asked as she knelt down, “We can see the head now,”
You just sobbed throughout it, hand clamped in bucky’s as you glared at him, the pain overwhelming. “I’m so proud of you baby, come on, just one more,” he cooed and you let out a scream.
The room was silent as they looked at the baby in the nurses arms. “Why isn’t he crying!” You asked, heart pounding in your chest as you and Bucky shared anxious looks.
But all that worry dissipated when you heard that loud crying from your baby girl who was clearly loving the drama and the stress she was putting her parents through. You just let out a sigh of relief, glad she was here.
You decided to name her Rebecca Natasha Barnes, after his sister and your best friend.
Bucky didn’t want to hold his baby girl to start off with. But when you had fallen asleep, he was hesitant to pick his baby girl up.
But when she was looking up at him with those doe eyes, he held her against his bare chest, holding her gently as he sat down next to you.
He would whisper sweet things about how he was never going to let anything hurt his little girl. Never.
When you two went back to the Avengers compound, everyone instantly fell in love with Becca Barnes.
He would watch you and her constantly whenever you were together. He loved the family that he had managed to have.
So when she began to babble about nonsense, he kept trying to coerce her into saying his name first.
“Come on baby, say dada” he said as he knelt in front of the high chair, the rest of the a Avengers watched the big strong Winter Soldier being turned into a soft man by his daughter.
You chuckled, leaning against the counter as you watched Bucky. Becca babbled for a second, reaching her hands out, “Red,” she babbled out and everyone turned to look at Natasha.
“Yeah, the kid knows her auntie,” she said with a huge smile on her face as she looked at the little girl who was giggling at her fathers horrified expression.
Even despite the fact that their child’s first word was about Natasha - presumably - the kid lived her dad more than anything.
As she grew into a little two year old, she would often try to fiddle with Buckys metal arm, laughing whenever she felt the cold metal.
One day, as they watched the 7 year old Morgan play with the small toddler, Bucky leaned into his wife, kissing her gently.
“I want another one,” You said and he chuckled, not even shocked because he was thinking the same thing too. “Lets start as soon as possible,” he whispered as he pulled you in for that bruising kiss you didn’t know you had missed.
With this pregnancy, it didn’t take as long to coercive but the actually pregnancy itself was a lot harder.
You were tired all the time and Becca was so interested in your pregnancy and it was hard to keep up with everything.
Bucky would try to keep her busy, knowing how tired you were. He presumed it was because this one had inherited more of his super soldier strength.
The Avengers loved looking after Becca whenever the two of you went to appointments and she loved spending time with them.
This time, you went into early labour and everyone freaked out, Bucky being taken away as you were rushed in for an emergency c-section.
He couldn’t stop pacing back and forth as he waited, Steve actually having to come and calm him down.
So when he was allowed in to see you, despite your tired and exhausted disposition. He was overjoyed to see you holding the baby boy against your chest.
James Steven Barnes. The brilliant little boy that he had been able to meet.
He was was more of a handful growing up. He was just as crazy as his dad and would love to run around and cause as much chaos as possible.
You couldn’t keep up with any of his super human strengths because even as a growing child, he was able to do more than any other kid in his class.
Every Christmas, the four of you would go to Tonys cabin with the others and the whole Avengers compound would spend the whole Christmas together with all the kids and all the adults partying all new years eve.
When Becca was 7 and James was 5, you hadn’t expected to see that test read positive. Not once, not twice, three times.
So when they went to the doctors and found out that you were pregnant again.
Once again, smooth sailing, the kids were delighted to have another sibling on the way but you and Bucky were sure this was the limit. Three was already a handful of children.
At least that was until you found out it was twins. Twins for heavens sake, how could this have happened?
So when the twins were born, in good health might I add, Bucky and the kids were once again overjoyed.
Grant Buchanan Barnes and his twin sister older than him by 6 minutes, Winifred Peggy Barnes.
Natasha loved Winnie instantly, knowing that this girl was going to be just like you.
“Shes so sweet,” Nat said as she held the girl in her arms, watching as the little girl reached out and grasped her hair, pulling on it, “Just as fiesty as you,”
Bucky was the ultimate dad. He would go to every sport with them, coaching the girls soccer team.
The mums lived that. You’d always glare slightly when the women would fawn over your husband, trying to seduce him.
But he ignored that. What he didn’t ignore was whenever James’ friends called you a hot mum. That annoyed him.
As they grew up, he wanted to remember every single thing that happened in your lives, constantly taking photos.
He was also very overprotective and constantly looked after them to make sure that everyone was okay.
So when his daughter got a boyfriend, he was very, very overprotective.
“Whos that?” Bucky asked one day after school as he stood at the door, watching as the 15 year old Becca.
“Who are you talking about dad?” She questioned back and he knew she had the same way of avoiding questions just like you.
“The boy,” he said and you tried to stop him, “Buck,”. He shook his head, “No, a boy just dropped my baby girl home from school, who is he?” He asked, raising an eyebrow and staring at her. One that thing that girl had was the ability to stare back, the two in stalemate.
“I’ve got homework to do,” she said before walking off, ignoring the question.
The idea that his children were growing up scared him. James was the best on his team at only 13 and the 8 year old twins were the biggest pranksters he’d ever met, picking up too many tricks from uncle Sam.
He loved his children more than anything in the world, and that was something you loved him for as well.
Because for once in his life, he’d done something good. He’d done something really good.
Yeah, that’s my first headcanon. It wasn’t supposed to be so long but yeah.
…The first time Bucky had seen you, had been the same as now; you walking away, unaware of his gaze. This time though, it wasn’t in the streets of Bucharest, now it was in heart of New York. This time, you weren’t walking away to be unsuspicious, to remain another face in the crowd while secretly determining how to help Steve convince him that he wanted to help Bucky. No, now you were walking alone, leaves crunching underfoot as you hurried away from the Tower with fresh tears staining your cheeks.
This time however, Bucky wasn’t trying to hide from you. So he followed, keeping a polite distance but remaining close enough to protect you.
He’d been mesmerized by you the moment he saw you that first time. You were with Steve, hunting him—the Winter Soldier—trying to find Bucky before SHEILD or anyone else could. He remembers being torn between looking at Steve, taking in how his best friend had changed over all the years that had passed while he was the Winter Soldier, and gazing at you.
The first time he saw Steve touch you in an affectionate way that signaled the romance between you, Bucky had felt a rip tear in his heart. He had always loved Steve. He would, he knew, until the day he died. But it wasn’t quite jealousy that he felt as he surreptitiously surveyed the two of you from the containment pod he’d been placed in after you had all been arrested. It was a new feeling, a mixture of deep longing and sorrow, intense attraction, a need to feel wanted.
To love and be loved endlessly.
And then they were all on the run, and Bucky found himself readjusting to his mind and body, free from the Soldat, while simultaneously falling for you and harder for Steve. It was a terribly confusing, difficult time—he had always been unsure and afraid of how he felt for Steve Rogers. For so much time to have passed, to feel those things for his best friend again, it was overwhelming. Add to that the way he reverently admired you, and he wasn’t functioning at his best. It was months of the best kind of agony.
Now though, as you walked quickly up ahead, it wasn’t about Steve, or Bucky even. It was about you, and the ways you had suffered since Bucky came into your life. You were like a bright star in everyone’s life, a constant, strong and beautiful and so full of life—but your gasping cries that you were attempting to suppress, which his enhanced hearing caught with ease, told him you were breaking.
Breaking because you were in an impossible situation, between Steve and him. If you were a star, then Steve was the sun and that meant that he, James ‘Bucky’ Barnes, was the moon. And you were stuck between them. Between the sun and the moon…
I took a deep breath and looked at the clock on my wall. It was 6:05, which was when I usually woke up around. But this morning I didn’t want to wake up. I buried my head back into my pillow, pulling the blanket all the way up.
I didn’t want to wake up to a morning without him.
It felt weird thinking something like this. I sounded like someone madly in love, maybe I was. I wouldn’t know if I was honestly. I never had that kind of experience.
It was just different with Bucky. I wanted to be around him, help him, talk to him…I just wanted to see him again. The last few days were terrible for me. I kept thinking about our fight, I was so sad and angry at the same time.
He had left me, without a good bye.
I was also angry at myself for saying those things I never meant.
I felt my eyes burning again, I wish I could just go back to sleep.
I spent about half an hour trying to fall asleep again, then I heard my phone ringing.
It was Steve.
“Hey.” I picked it up.
“Morning, I knew you’d be up.”
“Mornin’, yeah I couldn’t sleep.”
“Why don’t you join our morning run? Sam and I are about to leave.”
“Uh…I kinda feel tired Steve. I’ll join you guys tomorrow.”
“Are you okay?”
This was like my 50th time hearing this from him and the others. They had noticed I hadn’t been leaving my room and waking up early in the morning like I did before Bucky left.
“Yeah, it’s just that I stayed up late.” I said, taking a deep breath.
He probably didn’t buy it.
We hung up and I buried my head back in my pillow.
I wondered if he still woke up early. Did he make himself breakfast? He didn’t use to have breakfast before I started cooking.
Did he like his new place? Did he think about me, maybe miss me?
Was he still angry at me?
I massaged my forehead, I felt my eyes watering.
I took a deep breath, I didn’t want to cry again.
I closed my eyes and did my best to fall back asleep.
When someone knocked on the door, I woke up immediately.
I checked the time, 8:42.
“Hey, it’s me.” I heard Steve call out from the other side of the door.
“The door is open, come in.” I said, sitting up, still in bed.
Steve opened the door, walked towards my bed. “I liked having you with us in our morning runs, you know.”
I gave him a small smile as he sat down on my bed.
“I will be back as soon as possible Cap.”
He smiled back at me.
There was a moment of silence before he spoke again.
“I have been worrying about you, I mean, we all have. Do you want to talk about it?”
I saw that coming.
“Well, I…I am okay. I have just been-you know, since what happend-“
“With Bucky?” He asked.
“Yes,” I answered, looking into his blue eyes before continuing.
“It was just- I don’t know. I am confused.”
“Do you have feelings for him?”
That was a question I avoided asking myself, because I was afraid of the answer.
“Maybe…I don’t know Steve.”
I told Steve about our fight with Bucky.
“…I didn’t mean those things, I would never say anything like that you know.”
“Stop beating yourself up about what you said, you said those things out of anger. I am sure Bucky will understand that.“
Steve assured me that it was all going to fine for almost an hour, he listened to me and I told him everything.
Sometimes I wondered what I did to deserve such a good as Steve in my life.
“You should talk to him.”
“All of you told me I shouldn’t-“
“I never said that,” He smiled a little. “Listen…I get why the others don’t want you to be that close with Bucky. I try to understand them, they’re just worried about you. But I know Bucky would never hurt you.”
“But he doesn’t want to see me.”
“He says he doesn’t, I don’t buy it. I saw how he was around you, (Y/N). I saw the way he looked at you. I haven’t seen him like this since 1940.”
Steve’s words made my heart skip a beat.
“So you think I should…”
He saw the little piece of paper which he wrote Bucky’s address on a week ago on my night stand.
He grabbed it and handed it to me.
“Let me know how it goes.” He smiled.
I hugged him tightly, “Thank you, Steve.”
“Don’t mention it. Just be careful while driving, okay?”
Steve left me to get ready.
I got up from my bed, washed up and changed quickly. I put on a little make up and pulled my hair into a ponytail. I grabbed my purse, jacket and car keys before heading out.
I went downstairs to the kitchen first. I quickly cooked chocolate chip pancakes and packed them. They were Bucky’s favorite.
I rushed down to the garage and got in my car.
I was exicited, I thought about what I was going to say on my way over to his place.
When I was finally inside the building he lived in, I felt like my heart was going to pop out of my chest.
I reached his floor and got out of the elevator. I tried to see which was the apartment number 21 but I couldn’t see it so I walked down the hole. I was too busy checking the numbers on the doors I didn’t see the blond girl walking towards the opposite direction.
I hit her on the shoulder accidentally.
“Watch where you going.” She said harshly before walking away without looking at me.
I looked down the corridor, there was only one apartment she could just have left.
Number 21.
I looked back at her, she was a pretty woman with long blond hair. She was holding her high heels in her hands, her hair was messy…
No.
She was just out of hisapartment.
I felt paralyzed.
No.
I wanted to kick something, scream as loud as I could.
I covered my mouth with my hand, trying my best to hold myself from crying.
I barely could get out of bed since he left and this was what he was doing?
He did not give a fuck about me.
I threw the bag of pancakes I made for him at his door. It hit the door with a loud thud.
I turned my back and started to leave. I heard footsteps from inside the apartment so I ran down the stairs.
I ran all the way back then threw myself in my car. I started the engine, biting my tongue to stop myself from crying.
I didn’t know how I even drove back safely back to the tower.
***
writer’s point of view
Bucky heard a loud thud on the door, which made him turn back to the door.
He thought Sierra, the girl he just met forgot something.
When he opened the door, no one was there. He saw a paper bag on the ground, he picked it up and looked inside.
Chocolate chips pancakes, his favorite.
Just like (Y/N) used to cook for him.
She was here.
He understood what happend quickly. She came to see him and she saw Sierra. No, no.
He dropped the bag and ran as fast as he could downstairs. He got out the building, and looked around to see her.
She wasn’t there.
“FUCK!” He shouted before kicking the trash can. He ran his hands through his hair.
Sierra didn’t even mean anything to him. He was only with her so he could forget about (Y/N). He was forcing himself to be with someone, he thought it would be helpful to get over her.
He loved her. He just couldn’t be with her because he thought she deserved better.
