New song out August 16th

30+1 days Challenge w/ @lovelybluepanda

Everyday this month (May 2022), me and @lovelybluepanda will share our personal finds and opinions on a specific subject we decided beforehand. You can join us too in the comments or simply by tagging us in your post!

DAY 18 - COLORS

I have had a very huge and passionate dive in period last year concerning this subject: being into photography and movies, I bought a couple of books that only talk about colors, the theory of colors, how they were used in different medias (especially communication/marketing) in the different ages (e.g. how they discovered and used each of them for paintings!) and let me say, it’s soo interesting. Colors speak to us on subconscious levels too. Not to mention that we may not perceive most of them in the same way.
I don’t read much anymore, but those two books had me hooked. I don’t know if you can find them in your mother tongue or not, still I’ll leave you the titles here, just in case (and I think you can find a couple of epubs on Google too, especially of the first).

• CROMORAMA by Riccardo Falcinelli (so very accurate and complete)
• DI TUTTI I COLORI by Alberto Boatto (smaller, but still good)

From the first book, on the back of the cover, you can read these questions (to which the author answers accurately in the book):
Perché le matite gialle vendono di più delle altre?
Perché Flaubert veste di blu Emma Bovary?
Perché nei dipinti di Mondrian il verde non c'è mai?
E perché invece Hitchcock lo usa in abbondanza?

(If you’re curious about these and other questions, feel free to ask. I will write you the answers)

Another media I want to leave you is by the Italian illustrator Fraffrog (that I have already mentioned another day): she just posted a video on youtube about the nonexistent color magenta that we all can actually see (but she also explains well how we all can perceive colors differently, like in a couple of viral images we all have seen online - the shoes and the dress). She has made an older video about the colors’ theory too (the link to that is in the video as well).

I’d talk about colors with your for ages, as it’s a subject that fascinates me a lot: there are so many hidden meanings behind each of them, its crazy.
And for this reason, I’ll leave some more links on youtube (non-Italian ones)
Color Theory in movies (short, tw:blood)
Understanding color in film (useful for colorists too and explains kinda well the subject)
There are so many videos though… I will stop here.

(As for music, I already used the song by Alessandra Amoroso so… Il Mondo è fuori by Velvet)

-> No vocabulary perché il post è già abbastanza lungo così, MA vi lascio questo vecchio post sui colori: the name of colors.

doks-aux:

Thank you for the responses to my last post! I’ll be responding to them individually soon. I now come seeking second opinions on bits from another work. This is a long one, so most of it will be under a cut.

–

First is this sentence:

This time, when Mac wakes in the middle of the night, the cold is so much harsher than before.

I’m trying to decide if that comma before “when” is needed. Theoretically, you could take that clause out and the sentence would make sense structurally, but it feels like important contextual information would be missing. My instinct is that the comma can and should go, but I’m not certain.

–

Then this one:

Mac drops into the other lounge chair, pulling his socks up with him.

For context, the author originally had written “socked feet,” but Google suggested changing it to “socks.” I think either one is fine depending on the exact imagery you’re going for. The first just brings to mind the character drawing his feet into the seat of the chair, while the second suggests he’s actually tugging his socks up as he also brings his legs into the chair.

The thing that’s actually tripping me up is one I’m not sure is an actual problem. For some reason, I can’t reconcile the use of “drops” in the first part of the sentence with “up with him” in the second. The first obviously and correctly describes that he is moving downward into the chair, but the second then suggests an upward motion. I think it’s just the “with him” part that’s doing this, as if it instead said something like “pulling his feet into the seat,” it wouldn’t sound off to me. Is this a personal hang-up (entirely possible) or something that actually needs clarity?

Keep reading

Thank you for the responses to my last post! I’ll be responding to them individually soon. I now come seeking second opinions on bits from another work. This is a long one, so most of it will be under a cut.

–

First is this sentence:

This time, when Mac wakes in the middle of the night, the cold is so much harsher than before.

I’m trying to decide if that comma before “when” is needed. Theoretically, you could take that clause out and the sentence would make sense structurally, but it feels like important contextual information would be missing. My instinct is that the comma can and should go, but I’m not certain.

–

Then this one:

Mac drops into the other lounge chair, pulling his socks up with him.

For context, the author originally had written “socked feet,” but Google suggested changing it to “socks.” I think either one is fine depending on the exact imagery you’re going for. The first just brings to mind the character drawing his feet into the seat of the chair, while the second suggests he’s actually tugging his socks up as he also brings his legs into the chair.

The thing that’s actually tripping me up is one I’m not sure is an actual problem. For some reason, I can’t reconcile the use of “drops” in the first part of the sentence with “up with him” in the second. The first obviously and correctly describes that he is moving downward into the chair, but the second then suggests an upward motion. I think it’s just the “with him” part that’s doing this, as if it instead said something like “pulling his feet into the seat,” it wouldn’t sound off to me. Is this a personal hang-up (entirely possible) or something that actually needs clarity?

–

The next is actually a few sentences all dealing with the same/similar issue, namely the use of “as if” in a sentence and how it should or should not be punctuated:

Swirls of green float among the stars, as if someone took a paintbrush and scribbled across the sky.

The other couple’s eyes flick between them as if to say: “He was yours?”

Murdoc parts and licks his lips, as if in reflex.

Maybe he just traded his rational fear of Murdoc for an irrational one, as if life surrounding Murdoc was never destined to be easy.

I’ve had difficulty finding information about this. As far as I know, “as if” is a subordinating conjunction and shouldn’t be preceded by a comma unless they’re being used to contrast, which none of these examples are. But the comma in the first and last examples… just feel right? The second example appears correct without one, and the third similarly looks like it would be better without one. But I cannot articulate why the other two seem like they need the commas. Do the commas need to be ditched in all of them? Please help, my crops are dying.

–

Here’s some fun with quotes:

“Sounds like I know your boss better than you do. Or should I say our boss?”

Should “our boss” in the second sentence take quotation marks on its own? Would it be “Or should I say ‘our boss?’”

–

This is some wording that’s tripping me up:

Murdoc weaves through the crowd like he belongs here, pink and blue lights reflecting off his big TV-screen eyes and the fangs of his smile.

Something about “big TV-screen eyes” bothers me, but it might just be that I’m more used to those words in a different word: “big-screen TV?” Is it actually fine as is?

–

Another comma-related issue:

His eyes, half-lidded, study Mac—like Mac is a textbook and Murdoc is still too drunk to read.

Should there be a comma after “textbook?” I’m unsure about situations like this because while “Mac is a textbook” and “Murdoc is still too drunk to read” are both complete sentences which would normally need a comma and conjunction to connect them, they’re both part of the comparison that follows that “like.”

–

Related to the above:

Maybe Bozer is right and the undercover work really is just messing with Mac’s head.

Should there be a comma after “right?” I’m once again doubting my knowledge of compound sentences here because of that “maybe.”

–

Another comma one:

It occurs to Mac that he hasn’t had a real conversation with Bozer, or any of his actual friends, in a while.

Am I correct in thinking that “or any of his actual friends” can take or leave those commas off-setting it depending on how the author would like to emphasize it?

–

Oh, goody. More commas:

Maybe Mac will step off the ship and back into his life and never look at a man the wrong way again—well, not wrong, but wrong for him.

“Not wrong, but wrong for him.” I think in most instances of a “not this but that” situation, you wouldn’t separate with a comma? It doesn’t look wrong there though.

–

Another comma, I’m so sorry:

He comes back out in sweatpants and a UCLA t-shirt, wet around the collar from his still-dripping hair.

At this point I have just completely forgotten how commas work. Does the comma after “t-shirt” indicate that “wet” is describing “he,” whereas removing the comma would have “wet” describing “t-shirt?”

This was a lot. I’m definitely rusty after not working for so long, and I’d appreciate any help making me word-smart again.

(All snippets shared with permission of the author.)

I’m getting back in the beta saddle, so that means it’s time for more pleas for assistance. This is actually a repost of my last that didn’t get any response. I’ll have another one tonight or tomorrow most likely. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

–

First, we have:

He had his Junior Woodchuck First Aid certification

(For reference, this is a DuckTales fic, and the Junior Woodchucks are equivalent to Boy Scouts and similar organizations.) My gut says that “First Aid certification” should either all be capitalized or none of it should. Either Junior Woodchucks First Aid Certification is a full proper name, or we’re merely talking about a first aid certification issued by the Junior Woodchucks.

–

And second:

using his eye-movement activated virtual interface

“Eye-movement activated” functions together as a single adjective, but what is the correct construction? Is it what’s written or:

eye movement activated

eye movement-activated

eye-movement-activated

I definitely feel like there needs to be a hyphen connecting “activated” at the very least.

Also, would “motion” be a better choice than “movement” here?

–

And next there’s:

“Where did you go to save the day, Timbawktu?”

(Please take a moment to appreciate this bird pun.) I’m uncertain about this construction. I think the comma might work? But I think it could also be written as:

“Where did you go to save the day? Timbawktu?”

“Where did you go to save the day: Timbawktu?”

“Where did you go to save the day–Timbawktu?”

Are they all equally correct or is one preferred over others? It was difficult to search for this particular circumstance.

–

And then:

“He told me not to follow him!” Fenton snapped back, surprising himself. “And considering that he just beat two heavily armed criminals to an unconscious pulp, I didn’t think antagonizing him was a good idea!

Am I correct in thinking that “he just beat” should be changed to “he’d just beaten” or “he beat?”

–

And then of course:

“Good! Great! That’s what I like to hear! Goodbye!” If Dr. Gearloose had an analog phone, Fenton was pretty sure he would have slammed it into the cradle.

Similarly, am I correct that “had” needs to be either “had had” or something like “had been using?” Verb tenses frequently befuddle me.

–

But don’t forget:

Dr. Gearloose had softened considerably ever since Boyd had moved in with him, but it felt like everything had fallen apart when the android left.

There’s nothing technically wrong with this sentence, but something about it feels overly formal and wordy to me. Am I overthinking it or could it be loosened up a bit?

–

And finally:

Fenton wanted Boyd to come back to Dr. Gearloose for mostly selfish reasons, both because Fenton enjoyed Boyd’s company and because Boyd made working for Dr. Gearloose infinitely more pleasant

I’m unsure about that comma. (Of course.) Is it correct there? Does it need to be or can it be removed or replaced with a colon or em dash? Is it fine as is? This is another specific situation that was difficult to find an answer for.

Any help is appreciated! This has been a fun, challenging chapter.

(All snippets shared with permission of the author.)

Me, writing and editing: Words are so cool. They make me so happy. I want to work with words forever.

Also me, writing and editing: Words are evil. Words make me cry. If I have to look at a word again, I will walk straight into the sun.

writerthreads:

How to self-edit your book

by Writerthreads on Instagram

After editing and giving feedback on a few pieces of writing over the last few days, I’ve identified some of the biggest problems people had in their writing and how you can possibly resolve them on your own. This is especially important if you’re going to publish or submit your work somewhere, and works for both academic and recreational writing.

Read through what you write

Grammar mistakes can be resolved by reading through what you’ve written carefully, and by saying the words out loud, especially lines of dialogue, you can identify where you need additional punctuation marks or where they aren’t needed.

This can be done by Grammarly if you’re lazy, but I suggest only using it if your grammar skills are decent enough because it can offer wrong advice sometimes as it can’t identify syntax that well.

Read from the perspective of a reader

Reading from the perspective of a potential reader can allow you to identify redundant lines or parts that don’t make sense. You should also try to think like a reader—if your target audience is kids or teens, they might not understand harder words or can’t tolerate run-on sentences and purple prose.

Use the right words

Everything you write must be deliberate and enhance the plot. Some lines of dialogue or descriptions can be omitted if they don’t create an effect or show anything new that you want to highlight. Use adjectives correctly and sparingly, and try to choose better adjectives. For example, “burgundy” is better than “red” because it’s more specific.

Sentence structure and paragraphing

Use structuring deliberately, especially if you’re writing a short story. Make sure your entire page isn’t one long paragraph, and start new paragraphs in the right places and when there’s a new person speaking. Try to vary your sentence lengths to offer more variety and to highlight certain things.

Grammar and punctuation

As you might already know, I can’t stand poor writing that lacks correct grammar or punctuation. Both of these skills take time to learn, whether it’s from reading or practising by writing and getting someone to check it. Again, use Grammarly. If you don’t want to, don’t ignore the squiggly lines under your words!!!!

Learn the rules of punctuating your writing or basic grammar skills by searching it up online or getting help from a teacher or friend. Proper writing is, in my opinion, the most fundamental part of a story. World-building and characterisation are worthless without decent writing.

Do you agree with what I’ve said? Is your pet peeve also bad grammar/punctuation? What other tips do you have? Let us know in the comments section below!

[[Hi all,

So between grad school and whereismh370 I’ve been a little too busy to work on shafiq28 or similar. However, I am making use of shafiq28 for something related and would appreciate some editing help.

I’m adapting this short story about Sabila and Faizal’s decision to raise Ayesha primarily in English (based on a personal true story) into a 10-min performance piece for presentation at my MFA showing in April, as well as potentially the Short + Sweet Theater Festival.

Short + Sweet doesn’t allow fanfiction, so I’m rooting the story in more realistic terms, and it’s quickly turning into historical fiction: both parents survived the 1971 Bangladesh Liberation War in their own way.

I haven’t written a short play in a long time, and a lot of the war information is news to me too. I want to make sure I get the language right, as well as make it presentable. It doesn’t have to be pitch-perfect or super polished, but I would like it to be good at least.

If you’re willing to help look over the play, please let me know! You don’t need to know Bengali or even have any particular experience in playwriting, though that helps.

Thank you!!]]

Rewrites and Edits

Not everyone gets it right on the first try. Sometimes, we go back and reread our works from years ago with fresh eyes and find mistakes that we missed during rounds of editing. #bookblog #writingcommunity #bookupdate #editing #coverreveal #writingtips

Not everyone gets it right on the first try. Sometimes, we go back and reread our works from years ago with fresh eyes and find mistakes that we missed during rounds of editing. Even traditional publishers can miss small mistakes like misspelled words or missing articles. It happens to the best of us.

I’m currently rereading a story I wrote when I was 16 and, oh boy, do I have a long road ahead…

View On WordPress

12ft – Hate paywalls? Try this site out.

My Fridge Food – No idea what to make? Tell this site what ingredients you have on hand and it will give you recipes to cook.

Project Gutenberg – Always ends up on these type of lists and for very good reason. All works that are copyright free in one place.

Ninite– New PC? Install all of your programs in one go with no bloat or unnecessary crap.

Unchecky – Tired of software trying to install additional unwanted programs? This will stop it completely by unchecking the necessary boxes when you install.

Sci-Hub – Research papers galore! Check here before shelling out money. And if it’s not here, try the next link in our list.

LibGen– Lots of free PDFs relate primarily to the sciences.

Zotero – A free and easy to use program to collect, organize, cite and share research.

Car Complaints – Buying a used car? Check out what other owners of the same model have to say about it first.

CamelCamelCamel – Check the historical prices of items on Amazon and set alerts for when prices drop.

Have I Been Pawned – Still the king when it comes to checking if your online accounts have been released in a data breach. Also able to sign up for email alerts if you’ve ever a victim of a breach.

Radio Garden – Think Google Earth but wherever you zoom, you get the radio station of that place.

Just The Recipe – Paste in the url and get just the recipe as a result. No life story or adverts.

Tineye– An Amazing reverse image search tool.

My 90s TV – Simulates 90’s TV using YouTube videos. Also has My80sTV,My70sTV,My60sTV and for the younger ones out there, My00sTV. Lose yourself in nostalgia.

Foto Forensics – Free image analysis tools.

Old Games Download – A repository of games from the 90’s and early 2000’s. Get your fix of nostalgia here.

Online OCR – Convert pictures of text into actual text and output it in the format you need.

Remove Background – An amazingly quick and accurate way to remove backgrounds from your pictures.

Twoseven – Allows you to sync videos from providers such as Netflix, Youtube, Disney+ etc and watch them with your friends. Ad free and also has the ability to do real time video and text chat.

Terms of Service, Didn’t Read – Get a quick summary of Terms of service plus a privacy rating.

Coolors– Struggling to get a good combination of colors? This site will generate color palettes for you.

This To That – Need to glue two things together? This’ll help.

Photopea – A free online alternative to Adobe Photoshop. Does everything in your browser.

BitWarden– Free open source password manager.

Atlas Obscura – Travelling to a new place? Find out the hidden treasures you should go to with Atlas Obscura.

ID Ransomware – Ever get ransomware on your computer? Use this to see if the virus infecting your pc has been cracked yet or not. Potentially saving you money. You can also sign up for email notifications if your particular problem hasn’t been cracked yet.

Way Back Machine – The Internet Archive is a non-profit library of millions of free books, movies, software, music, websites and loads more.

Rome2Rio– Directions from anywhere to anywhere by bus, train, plane, car and ferry.

Splitter – Seperate different audio tracks audio. Allowing you to split out music from the words for example.

myNoise– Gives you beautiful noises to match your mood. Increase your productivity, calm down and need help sleeping? All here for you.

DeepL – Best language translation tool on the web.

Forvo – Alternatively, if you need to hear a local speaking a word, this is the site for you.

@thequeenswife !

↣ | [ thats the point. ]

↣ | & , ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀@thequeenswife

↣ |

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀&

Slashing Your Word Count

A guide for over-writers. 

So there I was, sitting in front of my 120,000 word YA Fantasy manuscript having a breakdown. Why? you ask. Well, because I want to be traditionally published and no one will buy a YA debut that long. 

Why not? This answer would a post on its own. Or a 24 minute video. Luckily Alexa Donne has already done that work and you can watch it here. 

Now I’m going to summarise all the advice I was given that had lead to me doing a brutally cut down draft in two sections, the big cuts, macro level, and the small cuts, micro level. 

Micro Level Cuts

1. Reduce each description by 1 or 2 words - @coffee_loving_artist
2. Reduce dialogue. Single spoken words can carry more emotional weight than elongated lines. 
3. Cut down on dialogue and action tags. If it’s clear who is speaking, don’t use anything! - @parisandherbooks
4. Cut repeated sentences. It’s not as dramatic as you think it is. 
5. Simplify convoluted sentences - @jade_d_brown
6. Cut words like very, quite, sort of, kind of, it was, there was, that, now, then, suddenly and any crutch words you have - @just.a_simple_writer
7. Change passive language - @laurenkayzles

Macro Level Cuts

1. Chop off the beginning and the end of long scenes. 
2. Cut info dumps
3. Never get lost in internal monologue. Keep it to a small para at most. 
4. Cut fluff scenes - @teen_writing_101 & @cakeyboy 
5. It doesn’t take 1000 words to make a small point – condense it!!
6. Cut unnecessary dialogue or chit chat 
7. Merge scenes that feel repetitive 
8. Cut the prologue 
9. Cut the epilogue 
10. (Remember that those can go back in after your book has been bought) 
11. If you’re desperate, delete a POV - @thewritingfirebird
12. Ask your Beta’s which subplots/characters could go - @howwhyandsowhat 

[If reposting to instagram please credit @isabellestonebooks]