#fallinlove

The more I fall in love The more you fade away, With every stroke of a brush You disappear into the canvas, Like I am painting A memory I have never lived.

Widziałem ją gdzieś we snach a więc nie wychodzę z snów

Mam problemy z samym sobą z którymi sobie nie radzę

Aki

Patrzysz się jak zdycham i to wcale nie jest fajne

~Aki~

My dear friends, it took me so long to update my fanfictions, but you all know the reasons why. But, let’s not talk about the struggles that life gives you, let’s read about Jessie and James and how they get closer….

Chapter 3:

James went all out in his new role as a waiter. He served the few guests who presented themselves hungrily on the diner’s doorstep, mixed the most delicious milkshakes Jessie had ever tasted, and his talent for mental arithmetic left even Eddy speechless. Some of the visitors eyed the young man sceptically. They weren’t used to so much motivation and drive. Most of the time they looked through a veil of inertia and hopelessness, but James brought life to the place. He was extremely accommodating and friendly, had a smile ready for every guest and talked to the visitors as if they were old friends. Jessie couldn’t get out of her amazement. She hadn’t experienced such a relaxed atmosphere in months, not since Butch and Cassidy had been watching her warily, hoping only for financial disaster. Eddy was pleased whenever Jessie’s mood lightened. He knew her tragic story all too well to wish her all the happiness in the world. She didn’t have an easy childhood, got into trouble as a teenager and struggled as a grown woman. Constantly putting her foot in her mouth, constantly being taken advantage of and bullied from top to bottom, constantly being told how useless she was in this world. But now the tragedy seemed to take a turn, this guy James had taken a fancy to her. Eddy watched Jessie as she couldn’t take her eyes off the new waiter, she was almost magically drawn to his refined manner.

“I hate to interrupt your daydreaming, but I think we have a little problem,” Eddy’s gaze wandered to a small table in the corner of the restaurant. A rather upset woman was banging on the table with all her might, standing up angrily and slinging her purse around her shoulders.

“I’ve told you many times, Brock! Leave me alone with your pathetic hit ons. You’re not my type! You and me, it’s never going to happen! Let me through, please,” she snorted disdainfully and hurriedly left the diner. Brock was left behind, looking pretty miserable. He hung his head low, sobbed heartbreakingly to himself and dragged himself to his friend’s table.

James was visibly taken aback by this little incident, but when he looked towards Jessie, she merely rolled her eyes and tried to hide a smile. Were Brock’s rejections perhaps the order of the day? Was he a hopeless romantic in search of true love?

James approached the disappointed young man and put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. Someday you will find the right woman who accepts you as you are, with all your rough edges,” James wanted to encourage him, but Brock didn’t seem to be listening. He sobbed again and buried his face in his hands.

“It’s hopeless, no one loves me. I will die alone and completely isolated from society.”

Jessie couldn’t stand by and watch the drama any longer. She threw her cleaning rag on the counter, made her way through the guests, and without waring hopped onto the table right in front of Brock. This performance alone triggered long-forgotten feelings in James. He felt so attracted by Jessie’s though nature that he had to pull himself together no to weaken. What followed made his heart throb and almost break. Jessie spoke from his soul. She bent down to Brock and unconsciously opened up to each of the guests present her deepest desires that she had suppressed for so long. She cleared her throat.

“Let me tell you this, Brock! Ture love takes time. From childhood you will be involved in relationships that will tear you apart and make you despair. First, your parents abandon you, arguably the most important ratio a young thing like me would have needed. Suddenly you are on your own, struggling with the corrupt customs of society and still trying to fit in and please your social environment. Then one day you wake up and feel you were born to be a rebel. You have not been able to build up trust for a long time, your previous acquaintances have thoroughly spoiled your belief in the good in people. You become bitter, disappointed and have hatred for this world and its inhabitants. The word love becomes anathema for you, you would rather be alone than in bad company. This becomes your motto in life. You fight your way through, you are betrayed, robbed, exploited, and chased away, and yet every shitty day you adjust your crown and carry on. But then,” her gaze fell on James for a split second, “someone enters the door of your diner, metaphorically speaking, and with them comes that sense of comfort and well-being you’ve been missing for years. This person makes you think happy thoughts, ensnares you just by his presence, you feel attracted, you want to breath in this person, love and live him, you forget the infamies of the past and can start a new phase of life. This person helps you to gain self-esteem, he can put back together the shards of your broken heart, support you and give you the love you have never felt. Yes, such a person exists for everyone in this world, even though I’ve never met him. What I wanted to tell you with this monologue, don’t give up! Love finds its way! Even if it sounds corny. So stop banging all over my expensive furniture and act like a man!” She smiled at Brock before turning back to her mountain of dirty plates.

James was moved to tears. What would he have given to take Jessie in his arms now, to hug her until she could shake off all her terrible experiences? But there were other feelings at play. He felt aroused, so aroused that he would have loved to cup Jessie’s face and kiss her. He wanted to caress her mouth, taste her lips, let his tongue melt into hers.

“Get a grip, James,” he shushed himself. Somewhat ashamed of these lustful thoughts, he tried to hide is excitement as best he could and got back to work. Jessie’s words would haunt him for a long time.

Late in the evening, when all the guests had left the diner and Eddy was dismissed by Jessie with the words “I’ve found a new victim”, she and James were faced with an almost impregnable mountain of glasses, silverware, plates and leftover food.

“Let’s get to work! Do you mind if I listen to some music? It helps me recover from the stress of everyday life,” Jessie pointed to the old jukebox in the far corner of the diner.“Go ahead!” James nodded at her and stole a small smile from Jessie’s lips. He couldn’t guess her taste in music, but when the first notes of “Baby I don’t care” by Transvision Vamp sounded, he was all the more on fire for his supervisor.

There was eager cleaning, sweeping, boning, washing up and drying. It was necessary to scrub the floor, wipe down the tables, clean up the ketchup and mayo bottles that were scattered all over the place, but the time flew by. Jessie sang along to her favourite song, and to James’ amazement, she danced and lolloped in beat to the tune.

“Careful, James. Don’t let your eyes fall out of your head,” she grinned mischievously and threw a handful of wash-off foam at her coworker. James reacted with surprise at her perky behaviour, but promptly retaliated with a sponge fight until they were both soaked down to their underwear. They laughed and snorted when the other could no longer open his mouth full with foam. They kept each other from splashing the other wet, but soon James had to admit defeat. He had no chance against Jessie.

“I surrender, Jessie,” he laughed, “please, have mercy.” Jessie knelt over him and grinned widely. “Okay, whatever you say. I’ll get you some dry clothes,” she disappeared into the storage room for a brief moment, bringing James old jeans and a tattered shirt. Actually, she didn’t want to watch him change, but her eyes kept slipping to his naked torso. James was slim and was in good shape. She could not take her eyes off his strong arms – and his scars. Long, deep scars stood out on his skin. Some of them seemed to have been disfiguring his appearance for a long time, others looked fresh, as if he had escaped an ordeal by a hair’s breadth, which nevertheless left its mark. It was on the tip of her tongue, she wanted to ask him about the reason for these ugly marks, but she held back.

James felt her gaze on his body. It was extremely uncomfortable for him to show himself to her so hurtfully, so he dismissed everything with a broad smile.

“Would you like another milkshake before we close?” he offered her. Jessie nodded and James prepared her a creamy treat topped with fruits and a sweet ingredient she hadn’t guessed until now.

“Do you think we can put your ideas into practice and turn this dump into a respectable place?” she expressed her concerns. James reached for her hands.

“To be honest with you, there are masses of things to do here. The walls need a new coat of paint, the menu needs updating, we need a slogan and we need to drum up publicity. We need financial security, and we can’t have everyone writing in, but I also understand that you want to help people and I think that’s just wonderful, just like you helped me. I promise you that we will get this all done in no time, and I will stand energetically by your and Eddy’s side to get the store up and running. I can get the materials; we’ll do the work ourselves and in a week you can plan the reopening.”

His words were soaked in hope. Jessie could see perfectly well how she could make her place shine again. New curtains, peppy patterns, bright colors, just the way she liked it. James, who was a stranger just a few days ago, could make her dream of owning a noble restaurant come true. He really was a very special person. Quiet and introverted, but at the same time looking for adventure, courageous and creative. She had to admit that she felt a soft tingling deep in her stomach, that sometimes she was out of breath when she was near him, but maybe those were just misleading signs.

“You know, James. No one has ever given me such hope as you. The last men I met were self-centred, conceited bastards who demanded everything from me, and I do mean everything, just to cheat on me with the next best curb-crawler. You’re different, you’re almost a gentleman compared to those bullies. You are so respectful and decent, one could just fall in love with you,” she blushed, completely embarrassed of the words she just said.

James was also quite abashed. “Jessie, thank you. Thank you for being so open with me, I’m just a stranger in this world after all. I’m glad I met you and I’m looking forward to our project together. No matter what happened, sometimes you have to leave the past behind, even if it keeps knocking. Just lock the door and let’s change the lock. I’ll try to support you as best as I can.”

He glanced nervously at his watch. It was after midnight, he would reap blows again for this.“I have to go now, unfortunately, but I wanted to ask you one more thing. Do you want to…” he took a deep breath. “No, forget it, never mind.”

James turned on his heel, but Jessie held him back.

“Go on a date with you? I’d love to, James.” She smiled at him.

“Friday’s a day off. How about 8 pm at the pizza place at the end of the strip?”

“Sounds great! Good night, James.”

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