#fidelity
Ivy
Like all evergreens, the ivy is immortality and eternal life; it is also revelry; clinging dependence; attachment; constant affection; friendship.
Christian: Everlasting life; death and immortality; fidelity.
Egyptian: ‘The plant of Osiris’, immortality.
Greek: Sacred to Dionysos who is crowned with ivy and whose cup is an 'ivy cup’; his thyrsus is encircled with ivy and one of his emblems is a post sprouting ivy leaves.
Semetic: Sacred to the Phrygian Attis; immortality. The ivy-leaf is phallic, depicting the male trinity.
[Source: An Illustrated Encyclopedia of Traditional Symbols by J.C. Cooper]
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LODESTONE
Folk Names: Magnetite, Magnet, Way Stone, Magnetis (ancient Greek), Loadstone, Shadanu Sabitu (ancient Assyrian), Heraclean Stone, Piedra [man (contemporary Spanish)
Energy:Receptive
Planet:Venus
Element:Water
Associated Herbs: Sandalwood, Rose, Yarrow, Lavender
Associated Star: Polaris (the North Star)
Associated Stone:Coral
Associated Metals: Iron, Copper, Silver, Gold
Powers: Power, Healing, Attraction, Friendship, Love, Fidelity, Male Sexual Dysfunction, Will, Protection, Business, Money, Games of Chance
Magical/Ritual Lore:
Legend has it that the ancient Romans had a statue of Venus made of lodestone and an image of Mars fashioned of iron. When the two statues were placed near one another in the temple, Venus attracted Mars.
Tales (never substantiated) also sing the praises of a statue that was permanently suspended in the air through the use of lodestones.
The stone was associated with the hero Hercules in times past and so came to be a symbol of strength and invulnerability.
In contemporary folk magic, the lodestone is thought to be alive. It is placed in a small bowl of water on a Friday to allow it to “drink," then laid in full sunlight to dry. When dry, iron filings are sprinkled on it as "food.”
Though there are variations on this procedure-some keep the stone in a red bag and sprinkle water and iron filings on it once a week-it is a common belief.
Several hundred years ago it was believed that it was dangerous to carry a lodestone during a thunderstorm because it attracted lightning.
A knife rubbed with the stone was not only magnetized, but any wound inflicted with it, however small, was thought to be fatal.
The lodestone was once believed to be stripped of its magnetic as well as magical powers by the mere presence of a diamond or garlic. Giambattista della Porta, in his monumental 1558 work, Natural Magic, said he had disproved such beliefs.
Nevertheless, some still believed this was true. Fortunately, there was an easy way to restore the lodestone’s powers. It was anointed with linseed oil, placed in a goatskin bag and covered with dirt for three days.
Its use to strengthen virility and to cure male sexual dysfunction (impotency) spans the ages. In ancient Assyria it was used in a sexual rite of pure sympathetic magic. The man placed a lodestone in oil and rubbed the resulting “infusion” on his body and penis to ensure satisfactory sexual intercourse. The woman rubbed parzilli, or iron powder, on her body to enhance her attractiveness. Thus prepared, couples three thousand years ago magically (or psychologically) released their inhibitions and shared pleasure.
Comparatively recently, in 16th-century India a king ordered his cooking utensils to be fashioned of lodestone to ensure his continuing virility.
Prostitutes once used lodestones to attract customers, and thieves relied on them to hide from authority.
All this lore has sprung from the lodestone’s natural magnetic quality. It and artificially created magnets share the power of attracting iron. Five hundred years ago this was a magical, miraculous property, and many believed a spirit or demon lived within the lodestone and gave it power.
Though scientific investigation has explained magnetism to a certain extent, the lodestone continues to be used in spell and ritual.
This is especially true in Mexico, where it is sold in botanicas along with candles, incenses, religious medals, snakeskins, oils and various other occult goods. Similar stores are found in many parts of the United States where Spanish-speaking peoples live.
Mexican street vendors who deal in magical supplies also sell lodestones. A few years ago I bought one from a woman who sat on the curb in a Tijuana district unfrequented by turistas.
It is also well known in Hoodoo and other American folk magic systems. Lodestones are sometimes painted green (for use in money spells), red (love), and white (protection). Painting them is not, of course, magically important unless you deem it to be so.
Magical Uses:
The lodestone is a power stone used to strengthen spells. It is added to sachets or herbal amulets, placed on the altar, or worn to increase the magician’s ability to rouse and release energy.
In ceremonial magic of the Middle Ages the lodestone was engraved with the figure of an armored man. This stone was utilized during rituals to empower magic.
The larger the stone, the more inherent power within it. While this is true of all stones, it is especially important with the lodestone, for the greater its size, the stronger its magnetic force.
Lodestone’s basic use in magic is attraction. Because the stone is a natural magnet, it is manipulated in ritual to draw objects or energies to its user. Thus, it can be used in any type of spell.
A simple example of this: A lodestone set in a man’s belt buckle draws success in all undertakings. This is probably because of the stone’s attracting qualities as well as its placement near what some call the ‘third chakra’, located about two inches below the navel. This energy center is associated with personal power and the will. When it is stimulated by the presence of the lodestone, it expands the will and therefore ensures success.
This spell, by the way, is of Mexican origin.
The lodestone, owing to its magnetic powers, is used to draw out disease and pain from the body. True healers, who send energy into a sick person to speed the body’s natural healing powers (or, specifically, to correct imbalances or blockages in bodily energy flows), may use the lodestone as a focusing device for their energies.
The stone can be passed over or placed directly on the afflicted part of the body. This is particularly true of pain in the hands and feet.
It is also carried, often anointed first with a healing-type oil such as sandalwood. Any lodestones used in healing rituals to absorb disease should be cleansed after each use.
It is said to be effective in treating rheumatism and headaches, and in healing wounds. Placed in a black bag which was suspended on a black ribbon around the neck, it was a specific for gout a few centuries ago.
A small lodestone set in silver was thought to sharpen the sight. Set in gold, the lodestone strengthened the heart. A folk spell designed to heal the body of any illness is quite simple: Hold the lodestone in your hands, then shake it vigorously while visualizing your illness draining from you and going into the stone. Bury the stone in the earth for a week following the ritual.
Any lodestone used in healing rituals to absorb disease should be cleansed after each use or, if worn, every week or so.
The lodestone is also worn or carried to attract friendship. If you’ve just moved to a new city or have started a job among unknown people, wear or carry a lodestone to meet new friends.
The lodestone is also utilized to attract love. It is thought to be a magnet for hearts as well as for iron, especially when worn in a ring.
Place a pair of the stones within a circle of pink or red candles while visualizing yourself involved in a relationship. Feel the strong contact, the mingling of energies that comes with love. Visualize as well.
Two lodestones are also often carried in small red bags for this same purpose, sometimes mixed with love-attracting herbs such as rose, yarrow, and lavender (as well as copper, another love-inducer).
The lodestone is also worn to smooth over troubles in a relationship, especially arguing. Its basic function is to cool tempers to allow true communication.
A coral necklace with a lodestone suspended from it was once worn to facilitate easy childbirth.
In American folk magic, women wear lodestones to ensure that their wandering husbands will return home; thus, it stimulates fidelity.
Since this borders on manipulation, as does all fidelity magic, it deserves a few words here.
When you begin a loving/sexual relationship with another person, and especially when children result, you have relinquished some control over your life to your mate and family. This is part of the giving involved in strong emotional ties.
At best such fidelity magic should be used to gently remind your partner of his or her obligations. If a relationship has ended, that's that-all the spells and lodestones in the world won’t recapture the ecstasy, quiet peace and emotional fulfillment that love produces.
Psychic or magical enslavement isn’t love.
The lodestone’s ability to overcome impotency has been mentioned above, but such drastic or complex methods needn’t be used.
A man suffering from sexual dysfunction can hold the stone in his receptive hand, visualizing satisfactory, complete, joyous sexual relations.
Once this is done, he can carry the stone with him or place it beneath the mattress to release its powers. The stone and the visualization work toward rooting out the underlying cause of the sexual dysfunction.
The lodestone has also been utilized as a protective amulet, being worn, placed in the home, or carried. A large lodestone surrounded by flaming white candles emits guarding energies throughout the house. It absorbs negativity but does not return it. Because of this such stones should be cleansed in salt water every Full Moon.
Some carry two lodestones at all times-one to protect, the other to bring good luck. In ancient Spain carrying a lodestone was thought to guard against all dangers from steel, lead, fire and water.
For those lacking in will power (which is simply asserting yourself and acting in accordance with your goals), empower a lodestone through your visualization with this specific directive: “Strengthen my will.” Then carry the stone and utilize the energies it sends you. As I mentioned above, it can be worn two inches below the navel or placed there while you are prone and visualizing yourself as being confident and secure.
Because it is an attracting stone, the lodestone is used to draw money or business success. Place lodestone in a green bag with a silver coin, a bit of gold (ifyou have it) or money-attracting herbs such as patchouly, cloves or tonka. Business people may place an empowered lodestone in the cash register or cash box or burn green candles around a lodestone to bring in customers.
Finally, the lodestone is considered by some to be a potent gambling talisman. It is worn or carried for luck during betting.
[Source: Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Crystal, Gem, & Metal Magic by Scott Cunningham]
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I hope you get to experience secure attachments and genuine love.
I was married for a brief period of time so long ago I sincerely don’t remember when I got divorced. I think it was 93 or 94 but it someone showed me my divorce decree (which I have NO idea where mine is) and it said 95 I wouldn’t be shocked. We were married in 89 and we separated in 91. When the actual divorce was finalized is beyond me however.
The reason my ex-husband and I separated is because he cheated on me. The entire marriage was unhealthy but of the four years we were together, two years were good, two were extremely horrible. Oddly enough they weren’t consecutive years. My ex-husband was a pathological liar (a theme that has been consistent in my partners throughout my life) and he was emotionally abusive. If I didn’t know any better, I would say that he trained under my mother because he was the male (extremely handsome) version of her.
I put him out the first time he cheated. I had told him from day one, “Don’t cheat. If you feel like you want to have sex with someone else, come to me FIRST. Let’s talk about it, let’s figure out if it’s just a physical attraction, if you are unhappy in the relationship, let’s get to the source of your feelings BEFORE you cheat. Once you cheat, our trust is destroyed and I can never trust you again. All I ask is that you let me leave the relationship with my dignity before you decide to cheat.” Apparently, those instructions were too complicated for him to grasp because he cheated anyway.
I put him out the first time I found out he cheated. Apparently, he had been cheating with a woman almost the entire time of our relationship but that was not the woman I found out about. There was no room for negotiation, no need for counseling at that point. My mother was a mistress all my formative years and I saw first-hand how deceptive men could be when they were cheating. I was willing to tolerate the emotional abuse but cheating was my hard limit. Clearly, he had no desire to be married to me any longer because he broke my one cardinal rule.
I wasn’t enlightened at the time. I wasn’t at all self-aware or introspective. I was intelligent by nature but I hadn’t explored, read, studied, or research 1/10th of the things I’ve done in the decades since I put him out. I hadn’t examined my own issues nor had I decided that I needed to work on or heal myself from my childhood traumas. I couldn’t even have admitted to myself that I had childhood traumas at the time because I was still of the, “My mother beat me and I turned out fine,” mindset. I had low self-esteem but I would have told you at the time that it was high. I was average. I was still relaxing my hair and an unquestioning Christian. I was not at all the evolved and conscious person I am today.
I said all of that to say this. I didn’t cheat on him to pay him back. I didn’t take him back and forgive him time and time again. I didn’t stalk the woman he cheated with and try to make her life hell. For as average and mediocre as I was at the time, I didn’t do any of the classically dysfunctional things so many average and mediocre people do. I had my hard and fast limit and when he crossed it, I ended things succinctly and I didn’t look back. I found out he cheated and he packed his things that day and he was gone. There was a brief period, or about a month and a half, more than a year after we separated that we tried to reconcile and he told me how he was going to therapy and how much he was going to be a better man for me. Turns out he was cheating on me with two other women during the reconciliation. I confronted him, with one of the women as soon as I found out, and I have never seen him since.
I’ve been divorced over twenty years (I think). Cheating and adultery is entertainment these days when it wasn’t back then. Cheating is so commonplace these days, people don’t even see it as a hard limit, they expect cheating in the relationship. The same people who are cheaters are offended and outraged when their partner is cheating on them. I simply can’t be that dysfunctional. I can’t allow that much drama in my life. If you don’t want me, fine, move on and let me move on. I’m not for every one, I get that. I do, however, bust my ass to make my relationships work, even more so now than I did when I was in my 20s and stupid. If you don’t value, cherish, appreciate, and love me enough to work at our relationship, if you find someone else more appealing, cool, go pursue a relationship with her and I’m going to make space in my life for more healing and introspection.
My most recent ex bragged about the married women he slept with (before and after being in a relationship with me) and they were all painfully average and mediocre and boring. No one would ever suspect they were doing outrageously disgusting things with him because they were so pathetically bland. If Susie white housewife (and I mean the collective of married women with whom he slept with) who couldn’t turn anyone’s head with their plain and unattractive looks were lying and cheating on their husbands, you can be assured that adultery and cheating is creeping into more relationships than anyone can comprehend.
If people today no only don’t set hard and fast limits about cheating, but they lie and cheat and deceive their partners, if they are having internet relationships, texting relationships, if they are having sexual relationship with other people while supposedly committed to someone how can any relationships ever be healthy? If you can turn on the TV and see a dozen shows at any giving time about cheating how on earth are you ever going to say to yourself that you won’t cheat, let alone that you will end the relationship at the first sign of cheating? I think cheating, revenge cheating (Is that a thing? I’m sure there’s a name for it) and the acceptance of cheating is so commonplace that even the long lasting relationships are victims of it. How can we ever get to a place of having healthy relationships ever again?
I have lots of ideas of how to show people healthier models of relationships (and I’m fully acknowledging that I’ve never had a healthy relationship other than in my mind) but people are so desperate to hold on to their dysfunction they don’t want to listen. (I feel like the word dysfunction is my most used word). Black culture promotes cheating. TV promotes cheating. Music promotes cheating. And here I am, little ole me, trying to beat the drum of emotional maturity. I don’t think anyone hears it.
We are presenting to you the #FAQiff films. Today: “Cassanova was a woman” (2015, USA, r. Kevin Arbouet).
Festivals/Awards: Best LGBT Feature Film at the 2015 Golden Door International Film Festival, La Femme International Film Festival 2015.
Concerned with matters related to fidelity and bisexuality, „Casanova was a woman” is the urban diary of a middle-aged latina actress who breaks up with her husband after ten years of marriage to start a relationship with one of her female friends she met when auditioning for a part in a theatre play.
You can watch it on 7th November, at 9 P.M., at Cinema Studio. Don’t forget to spread the word!
Filmele #FAQiff ți se prezintă. Azi: “Cassanova was a woman” (2015, USA, r. Kevin Arbouet).
Festivaluri/Premii: Cel mai bun Film LGBT la Festivalul de Film Golden Door din 2015, Festivalul Internațional de Film La Femme din 2015.
Abordând teme precum fidelitatea şi bisexualitatea, „Cassanova was a woman” reprezintă jurnalul urban al unei femei de vârsta a doua care se desparte de soţul ei după 10 ani de căsnicie pentru a începe o relaţie cu una dintre prietenele ei pe care a întâlnit-o în timpul unei audiţii pentru un rol într-o piesă de teatru.
Îl poți vedea sâmbătă, pe 7 Noiembrie, de la 9 seara, la Cinema Studio. Nu uita să le spui și prietenilor tăi!
#FAQiff #FilmFestival #MeettheFilms #comingsoon #bookthedate
“Out of the darkness of my life, so much frustrated, I put before you the one great thing to love on earth: the Blessed Sacrament…There you will find romance, glory, honor, fidelity, and the true way of all your loves upon earth…which every man’s heart desires.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, in a letter to his son
