“Do you think I can have one more kiss? I’ll find closure on your lips, and then I’ll go.”

Someone Great (2019)

Find someone who puts your phone on the charger when you fall asleep.

My sleepless nights never seem to end, but at least I get to lie next to you for hours with no interruptions. I’m glad I get to be the one to brush your hair out of your face and wonder what you’re dreaming of.

The longer we’re together, the less I know what “impossible” means. It’s like you’re removing that concept from my life entirely.

You tell me I’m your flower, but you’re the sunshine that’s helped me grow.

We have a whole life ahead of us to live.

It’s like I’m living in a dream, and with you in here with me, I don’t ever want to wake up.

With you, I am invincible.

It’s been 10 days since I learned that an old friend of mine passed away. I’ve been ruminating a lot on the last 10-20 years - time spent with and without him actively in my life.

In addition to being one of my best friends, Greg was also my first big love, my high school boyfriend, and band mate.

I fondly remember riding around town in his Dodge Shadow as he sang The Beatles’ “Two of Us” to me. The countless hours watching Anchorman and This Is Spinal Tap. Seeing the inspiration for his Abe Lincoln tattoo happen in real time and then being with him when he got it. So on brand for him.

I cannot tell you how much fun and laughter we shared together as friends, as a couple, and within our group of friends. Through Greg I found an extensive collection of friends - his social network was huge. People loved him. I loved him.

He helped reinforce my love for The Beatles and classic rock by sharing his music collection for me. He even paid for my first tattoo - The Beatles logo on my left forearm! For years I’ve contemplated covering that tattoo with something else…how grateful I am now to not have made that choice. I get to keep a small part of Greg with me for the rest of my life.

Though we hadn’t spoken in many years, I thought of him often. He was with me during some of the hardest and most devastating moments of my life. We had a stubbornly complex relationship and I regret many things that were left unsaid. I hope he knew how much I cared about him and how much he meant to me…even now.

Love and miss you always, Greg.

“You and I have memories

Longer than the road that stretches out ahead”

Best love triangle

Meant to Be (Soulmate AU, the end.)

:) I know it’s been a lot of time in between each chapter, but I’m glad I saw it through, I think it’s a nice wrap-up to this.

Pacing her apartment, the girl, covered in little bruises still, slapped a palm to her forehead. Stupid, stupid! She’d just let him take off before they could even work anything out, no place, no time—what had she been thinking? 

“I am such an idiot,” she moaned into her hands. As Raphael had instructed, she had, in fact, called the police once her strange rescuers fled from the scene, but the procedures that ensued from an assault case had occupied her for a few days. Three, it was; too long for her liking. She racked her brain trying to figure out how to find him again. And if she didn’t, all she could do was hope he was the smarter of the two and would find her. 

Raphael. The corners of her mouth dared to smile a bit despite her current issue. That name suited him. 

It appeared that he’d lived a rough life in some capacity. There were scars on his face from God knew what, and he carried weapons and tough stride. Though, his colleagues were all a little different in appearance and gestures. Where did they rest their heads, she wondered. Not in a place like hers, clearly. And his clothes…

Yes, Raphael was gruff. But maybe just a little handsome, in a way—she blushed at the thought. You can’t not remember that character. He looked like he could bench a truck. 

She’d lately been taking a cab home due to the incident, but there was only one place they could possibly convene: the alley. A dank, kinda dirty, rat-here-and-there kind of place. Or the rooftop, if she could even get up there.  Who wouldn’t want to get to know their prince here, she thought sarcastically.

What do people usually do when they’re getting to know their one true love? 

On the window sill her phone chimed twice, calling her over. She wandered to her window and gazed out. On the sidewalk below, a couple strode down the concrete, both holding a bag of takeout between them. And suddenly, she had an idea. 

Where exactly was that alley again? 

He jumped past one, thought it didn’t look familiar and went on to the next. It was about the hour that they’d crossed paths and he felt rushed like he was running out of time, impatient as he was. Until his phone vibrated from his pocket and demanded his attention. 

The screen lit, Donnie’s ID. He pursed his scarred lips and picked up. 

“Need some help?” asked Don in his cheeky way. Raph could see the smile across the phone.He’d been expecting some kind of nagging or squawking over his departure, but it was just Donnie trying to be helpful as usual. He would have to pay him back for the solid. 

“Sure,” answered Raph. 

“Sending the location now. It should show up on your GPS. Oh, and don’t worry about you-know-what." 

"Say what?”

Studying the address, he opened his mouth to speak, but Donatello was already cutting him off. “Gotta go, bye!”

“Don?” Raph said. The call ended and he stared at the address, puzzled. This was four blocks over and not where he remembered it to be. He wasn’t that unobservant. It was the only real lead he had to go by, though, so he set off toward the new destination. 

He flipped over an AC unit and landed on the lip of a roof adjacent to the one that marked the tiny red dot on his phone, skidding to a stop at what he saw. 

Little candlelights littered around a blanket with white boxes and a couple of plates, the girl in question scuttling around trying to get things prepared. There was a container of some kind of sweet. Raph watched as she multiple times relit the same candle, only to have the breeze blow it out, followed by her anxious groan. She went back and forth with it until she gave up and fell back onto her rear. 

You’re kidding me, Raph thought, scooting to cover. The whole display was a bit pitiful. Now he understood the mysterious address. But how did she know to come up there? Don’t tell me Don contacted her? 

A typical dinner date with a mutant, stuck onto the top of a building to accommodate his…conditions. She didn’t really think that was how it could go, right? That they could just sit down and have a meal together like nothing was wrong with that picture? It all seemed so wrong, too casual for what it was, false comfort. All of the candles went out and left her sitting alone in the dark, making her dig through her bag for her phone. 

She rubbed her forehead and leaned back onto her hands, looking all around her as if surveying the cityscape for something. Her foot was tapping more and more rapidly. Cracking open one of the boxes of takeout, notably, no steam rose. Raph felt a pang of pity.

It was awkward and he just couldn’t understand the idea of hers, but never had anyone do anything like that for him. Not like I ever had ‘em lined up to take me out to dinner. But after some consideration, for someone like him, he supposed that it was the thought that counted. It didn’t make the approach any easier. He stepped out into sight and whistled curtly, holding up his hands as if to say he wasn’t a threat. 

No, this ain’t awkward or weird at all. Couldn’t be, he mused with sarcasm. His long strides had him there a little quicker than he would have liked. He felt lumbering and intrusive.

“You’re not serious, are ya?” he asked from the distance, eyeing the setup skeptically. She closed the gap between them as she fixed up everything and made it neat again. He waited for her to finish, shifting around on his feet.

She responded, “Your…brother told me to meet you up here. I don’t even know how he got my number.”

“He’s got the means. And the fancy little dinner was his idea, too?” he snorted. 

Her face fell almost imperceptibly. Back it up, put it in reverse, he sighed to himself. Why was he like this? Why did he always have to say what he was thinking? 

“'Cause it just…seems like something…he’d do,” he added reluctantly, wanting to wince. “That’s Donatello for ya.” A few uncomfortable seconds went by. He started to panic when she gave him a questioning look. “But I know he didn’t, I’m just bein’ an ass.”

“You’re not,” she let a breath out, mustering a hesitant smile, “I know it’s kind of stupid. I just thought that…" 

He rose a brow.

Sitting herself down on the blanket, she looked up at him, and his heart started to quicken. "You ever had takeout from here?” she asked in a soft tone, forcing a laugh. He knelt down rigidly. The whole thing was uncomfortably small for him. "I don’t know what you guys eat in the sewers, but I figured that this was the least I could do. For us.“ 

He’d been opening up one of the boxes and inspecting the contents when his eyes went wide. ”'Us’?“ he parroted, dropping the  container and spilling some of the noodles. 

"No, no, no, not ’us’ us, I meant as in, getting to know us, we—getting us to know each other,” she stammered. “Sorry. No, that’s not what I meant. I just thought it would somehow be less weird.”

“You’re sittin’ across from a mutant turtle freak, don’t you think that’s weird?” he said. 

Raph could have let out a sigh of relief, but felt he wasn’t out of the thick of it yet. 

He wasn’t expecting the smile, the warm eyes. The “I don’t think you’re weird.” he heard. 

Needing something to occupy himself with, he snatched one of the cans of cola and popped it open. Before he started to chug, he replied, “Sure, ya don’t think I’m weird." 

"Okay, then I’m weird too,” she said, tilting her head to catch his eye. He glugged the whole can of cola. 

“Oh, you’re weird, alright,” he chuffed as he wiped his chin with the back of his hand. “I mean, look at ya. Putting together all this so you can eat cold noodles with a giant turtle ya just met. Is this what you call 'fun’?”

“They’d still be warm if you’d gotten here earlier. And for the record, I am having fun,” she said, dipping into her own food. “Come on, eat, Raphael. Please." 

He started to refute it, tried to get his guard back in place again, but his mind couldn’t find the words. How badly he wanted to say "you’re not having fun, you’re just tolerating me,” or “you’re kidding yourself”.

After a moment of squirming and trying to find something to bite back with, he picked up his chopsticks and began to eat. “Nah,” he finally said. Then mumbled, “No way." 

"Way,” she chuckled, taking a sip of her drink. Raph shook his head. 

A silence befell them. The self-consciousness was somehow worse when he was only being observed, which he knew by the gaze he could feel on himself past the chopsticks feeding noodles into his mouth. She can’t possibly like what she sees. Get real. I’m gross. 

“Can you stop your starin’?” he eventually snapped, narrowly avoiding crushing the takeout box on the concrete beneath them. “Didn’t your mom or whatever ever tell you that’s rude?" 

It was pretty dark around them, but between talking and eating, she’d managed to keep a few of the candles lit. The warm glow it casted on her face didn’t miss him, neither did her sheepish expression that held the possibility of a blush. She uttered an apology and averted her eyes. She couldn’t have been looking upon him with any kind of joy. That’s what Raph truly believed, at least. So why did it feel bad?

"I think I just can’t stop looking at you, Raphael, truth be told,” she said. His heart did skip that time. Oh, how he hated yielding.

He narrowed his eyes, “Whaddya mean?" 

"You’ve got a lot of scars,” she mumbled, leaning in. Without the disgust he’d imagined she would. “And your eyes are pretty." 

"Pretty?” he scoffed. He was getting up, now. She scrambled onto her feet as well and reached out, just missing his arm. 

He’d yanked his arm away. She corrected herself, “They’re not like anything I’ve seen!" 

Well, you don’t have any business looking at me that close. 

”(Y/N).“ 

Her smile left. He stood square before her as if on display. But his brow ridges were furrowed in, creating the intimidating visage she recognized as the first thing she’d ever seen of him. "What?” she asked. 

Motioning to all the stuff at their feet, he questioned, “What’s all this for, really?”

“I–I don’t think I understand." 

"You, doin’ all this. Over some silly birthmark?” he pressed. “I can’t figure out what’s goin’ on in your head and it makes me—" 

She interrupted him. He went still as she slowly took his hand and balled his shaking hand, cupping it in hers. Lightly trembling, not from anger, not from fear. Those trepidatious shakes he’d felt many times before, but never with another person. Never like that.

 "Confused? Mad?” she finished for him. All the words he couldn’t quite find found themselves in the flutter of his stomach. They were caught on his tongue. 

She was wrong. That wasn’t it. “No,” he could finally say, his voice low. “I don’t know.”

It took two of her hands to wrap fully around one of his, but she wouldn’t let go. Raph wouldn’t dream of trying to tear away from her delicate grip. “Do you think we can figure it out together, then?” she inquired softly. 

“I…I don't—" 

Lifting his hefty hand, she planted a light kiss on his knuckle, feeling the rough skin on her lips. Raph was absolutely stunned and could not move. 

"I hope this tells you all you need to know,” she stated, drawing away. Her back turned to him. The longest ten seconds of his life passed and he only regained the ability to move once she started to walk back to the stairwell, lunging forward to grab her shoulder before she caught the door. Careful to not hurt her.

Turning her around to him, he swallowed, “We ain’t had dessert yet.”

Raph never wanted to stop seeing her eyes shine like they did. 

He prompted them to sit down this time, his hand running down her arm as he leaned back. Even then he was too shocked to smile, or make any other face, for that matter. She simply smiled at him. 

“Right. Dessert,” she winked. 

In the end, Raph still couldn’t totally shake his  tough shell off. But he suddenly had the patience to try, just maybe, a lopsided grin forming as she divided the cake. 

“…and two for you, because you’re a big guy…" 

He let her continue for a moment before getting closer. "Ya know, think I want to get to know ya without these stupid birthmarks, (Y/N),” said Raph with a smile that he didn’t bother to hide. She glanced up at him, wondering. “So let’s do it over again. I’m Raphael, but it’s Raph to you." 

Taking her focus off the cake, she slid his plate to him. "Without the marks?" 

"Forget about 'em. We’re strangers." 

She laughed sweetly, "Then I’m (Y/N). Nice to meet you, Raph." 

After that, they shook on it over dessert, and marked the night that the walls Raphael had put up began to crack.

first love e.d part 2

heyy homiesss!!!! here’s part 2. uh don’t forget to send me pictures for certain girls you want or whatever! message me bc a bitch gets lonely . ok love you guys lot! peace!

“ethan grant dolan… i know damn well you didn’t!” you say in shock slowly letting his hand go. you cover your hands over your mouth and start to cry seeing your Tia Pat right in front of you. before you moved away from kansas your Tia Pat was your everything. she is your best friend.

“Tia Pat!!” you say running up to her to give her a hug.

“ oh, hi mija how are you?” she says hugging you back.

“i’m doing just fine, how are you with everything?” you ask her crying and pulling away but not letting her go.

“very good, thanks to this nice boy you have right here.” she says holding her hand up to ethan. you turn around and mouth a ‘thank you’ and he winks at you.

•skip visits•

“bye Tia Pat! i love you!!” you says waving bye to her and tearing up.

“love you to mija, i’ll see you soon.” she says waving from the car. once the car is out of sight you start crying hard. ethan looked at you and put his arm around you trying to comfort you, but little did he know why you are really crying.

“ethan, my Tia Pat is 97 with kidney cancer. i don’t know if i’ll see her alive again…” you says calming down.

(a/n this is a true story bc i went to horton and my tia pat is 97 and she has kidney cancer and my mom, my sister and i think that the last time we saw her is the last time we are going to see her alive )

“oh, baby i’m sorry! if i knew that i promise i wouldn’t have brought her-“ he says rambling in a guilty way.

“e, i’m actually very happy you brought her.. i didn’t know if i was going to see her before she died… you did nothing wrong, ethan.” you say interrupting him and turning your head facing him giving him a kiss on his cheek. ethan turned his head and looked down at you and grinned with relief.

“thank you so much ethan… that was the best supprise ever.” you say with so much gratitude, and thankfulness towards this boy.

“i’m glad you liked it…but that wasn’t the surprise, that was just a part of it. there’s more.” ethan says with love and smirk. you quickly turn your head looking at him with suspension, wondering what could get better then this moment.

•skip to sunset timesish•

for the rest of day you and ethan have been doing everything you could have imagine for.. you got pineapple pizza ( which i fucking love so fight me) cuddles and watch your favorites movies.

“hey babe get ready, i want to take you to your final destination.” ethan says getting of the your comfy couch and rubbing his hands together extremely excited. you at him and groan giving him he that ‘i’m tired face’ but you fight brought it knowing it was your final surprise for the night.

ethan pulled you by your arms to help you get up and gave you a kiss on your forehead. you smiled into his chest and breathed in his cologne. you rap your arms around him, and closed your eyes imagining you were in bed going to sleep. ethan unfortunately slapped you butt and says, “let’s go!” with too much energy for you. you walk toward the door slouching with no energy in your body for this adventure he was about to make you do.

ethan gives you a blind fold and smirks at you.

“this isn’t any kinky shit, right?…” i you ask with that look. he laughs and shakes his no and sigh a breathe of relief. you but the blind fold and hear ethan say “you trust me right?” you shake your head yes. and he says okay. you hear the car unlock and feel ethan guide you towards it. he helps you get and you try your best to remember how to get in without tripping, you successfully make it in wothoiy any injuries. you buckle up and get ready for your trip.

hey guys i know i haven’t posted in a long time but i’ve been dealing with a lot even though i may not tell everyone i do have my problems to deal with and yeah… well i hope you guys enjoy this and part 3 will be out soon so get ready.. and big s/o to @lostinmydolans for being my writing buddy i love her and yeah

love e.d

a/n all imagines are with women of color, if you would like to change that or the gender for a imagine just request it and i’ll see what i can do

summary: ethan takes to out on a special date and says something that will change your entire relationship….

“y/n?!” your boyfriend, ethan says from downstairs.

“mmmhm” you mumble still in bed. you hear footsteps getting closer to your and ethan’s bedroom in your shared apartment in la. even though you know you haven’t been with ethan for a long time, you know this boy has your heart and you have his.

“hey baby, you awake? i have a very special day planned for us.” you hear ethan say in his comforting voice.

your turn on your back and stretch your arms and legs letting him know your awake and your heard him. you sit up and look around and your eyes finally land on your ethan. you give him a light smile and he gives you that famous cheesy smile that made you fall in love with him.

“hey babe, what are we doing today?” you ask him while spreading your legs back and forth in the covers.

“good morning princess, and that’s a surprise” he says kissing your forehead and smirking at you.

you groan and fall back onto the pillows looking up at the ceiling. seconds later you feel dips in the bed and then see your boyfriend hovering over your face.

“aww is my princess upset i won’t tell her the surprise?” he says in loving, singing tone.

you shake your head yes and pout your lip out while folding your arms.

“well too bad, get up and get dress and i’ll meet you downstairs.” he says giving you a quick a peck and gets up quickly leaving you in your king size bed.

after about 5 minutes of pondering if you should get up, you finally do anxious to know what he has planned for the day.

you walk into your bathroom and do your morning routine, which includes using the bathroom, brushing your teeth, washing your face, wetting your hair, and then putting products in it to keep it tamed. (bc all girls with thick hair understand the struggle of having to do hair and keeping it look good)

(outfit)

after getting dressed and everything, you grabbed your phone of the charger and ran to the stairs. you ran down the stairs to see your amazing boyfriend standing there with the cutest grin and a bouquet of roses. you walked up to him slowly biting your lip, trying to contain your smile so you wouldn’t blush.

ethan always knew how to make you blush and you hated it, you thought you look weird because you scrunch your nose when you blush, but he loved it and he loved you, he just never said it out loud before.

“hey princess, these are for you!” he said with enticement. you gladly took them from he and gave him a passion filled kiss, as a sing of ‘thank you’ you pulled away first and grabbed a vase and put water in it, hen you set on the kitchen counter in front of the kitchen window. you made your over to ethan and grabbed his hand smiling walking out the door hand in hand smiling like a goof you are.

when you walked out your apartment building you where so shocked and almost started crying when you saw what was in front of you..

hey guys this is my first time writing a imagine please note it or whatever but that m you guys!! part 2 will come out soon i promise!! love you lots

if you loved me, why did you leave me?

the person who made me the happiest hurt my feelings the most