#helnik
Jesper:I just took this “what coffee creamer are you?” quiz
Jesper: Turns out I’m an ✨International Delight✨
If 9 year old Kaz had discovered yo mama jokes, he would’ve had the entirety of Ketterdam on its knees, sobbing, in three days.
Kaz teaching his future child to drive: Now, what do you do if someone cuts you off?
Kanej Child: I flip them off and “pit-maneuver their ass”
Kaz: *So proud*
Kaz: The true lesson of making mistakes actually isn’t to learn from them, it’s a reminder to always kill any witnesses.
The Glass Turtle ~ Part Two
An Angsty Crows Christmas Fic
TW: Angst, Sickness, Mentions of Death
—— Indicates change in pov
Credit to @emmaannaelisabeth for the wonderful characters of the Crows’ children. Thank you for letting me use them. <33
“I know…” Matthias trails off, how to explain this to a child? “I know the snow and ice can be unforgiving, but it isn’t entirely bad. You know that, don’t you?”
Jordie nods and Matthias continues, “Would you like to hear a story?”
Matthias isn’t sure how to speak with him, but a child of Kaz and Inej’s is smart, and Jordie is a sweet child. His heart warms as he sees Jordie’s eyes light up and nod eagerly, “Oh yes please!”
“When I was a child, near your age, I was given a crystal, it was beautiful, it looked like the most beautiful shard of ice that could never melt. I was told to treat it with care and for hours I did. But my sister bumped into me and I ended up dropping it, the point shattered when it hit the floor.”
“I was so upset, at my sister, at myself. I yelled at her and she ran, much like you did. When my father went out to search for her, I still hadn’t cared. He brought her home, half-frozen and weaker than I’d ever seen her,” Matthias shakes his head, even now the guilt weighs heavy, “She had always loved to sew, her fingers were slender and lovely, but when I caught sight of them, they were black. My father had brought the doctor to see her, it was frostbite, she lost most of her fingers.”
“This is a very sad story.”
“It was,” He nods. “For a long time she could not find happiness and I carried the guilt with me, but a year later, I was forgiven, but better than that, she found something new she could do, even without her fingers. She learned to paint, she couldn’t hold a brush, but with her hands on the canvas she was able to create the most beautiful pictures I’d ever seen.”
“Why have I never heard of her before, Uncle Matt? She sounds nice.”
“That’s a story for another time, Lille Demjin.” Matthias smiles warmly and ruffles Jordie’s hair.
“Don’t let the guilt of the past weigh you down, you are young, you must move forward. Do not hold on to the sadness. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Now you get some rest, it’ll be Christmas in the morning and you have so many presents to open.” The boy shivers and Matthias pulls the covers higher over his shoulders, but the room isn’t cold.
“Goodnight Uncle Matt, thank you for the story,” He pauses for a moment, “I’d like to meet your sister someday, there’s always room for more Aunties! And tell Lindie I say hi, please.”
“I will.” Matthias smiles and shuts the door behind him, Jordie will never meet his sister. She had died only two years after she lost her fingers, her last painting left unfinished, a pocket-sized portrait of Matthias- The only worldly possession he ever truly misses. Her death, even to this day, has left him learning the same lesson he hopes he taught Jordie. Guilt is a weight, it’ll drown you if it can.
——
Kaz had insisted that Inej needed rest, he would watch Jordie as he slept. She did her best to sleep, but it was restless, filled with the fear of losing her child.
Now she wakes with a start, Wylan is shaking her awake, she fights the urge to yank his hand off of her, I am safe, he is not here to hurt me. She takes a deep breath before she meets his eyes, even in the dark, and the concern rushes in.
“It’s Jordie.”
——
Melinda is scared, one moment she’d left the room with her Dads to go check on her friend, and the next JJ had woken up and couldn’t stop coughing. She’d run back to get her Da and moments later he’d left to get Inej with a worried look painted across his face.
She doesn’t get too close as the adults come into the room, encircling Jordie, they’ll take care of him. Jesper leaves from beside JJ to make space for Inej, walking over to stand beside Melinda.
“Da? Will he be alright?” She swears she sees a flash of fear in his grey eyes, but before she can think on it, he wraps her in his arms, maybe everything will be okay, she hugs him back.
Tears threaten to spill over, she’s trying so hard to be mature, she’s ten years old now, she needs to be a good example for JJ. But her best friend in the whole world is sick and everyone keeps looking at each other all weird, and there’s something they aren’t telling her and it makes her want to cry. So she does, she cries until Wylan stops talking and hugs her tightly and ruffles her ruddy gold hair until he convinces her it’ll all be okay. She just wants her friend to be better.
She isn’t allowed too close to his bedside, everyone is worried that she’ll catch whatever cold he has. He might be dying- Ghezen, don’t think of that. But she does, he might be dying and I can’t even hug him. He looks so tired.
She resorts to reading him a book from across the room, though she’s not sure he can hear her, he’s somewhere between sleep and being awake. The book is about an adventure, through forests and mountains, two best friends go in search of a treasure, fighting warlocks and dragons.
“Lindie?” Jordie croaks out, he sounds like Uncle Kaz.
“Yeah?” She stops reading.
“Promise me something. One day, you and I go on an adventure. I wanna meet a dragon.”
She nods, ”I promise.” She thinks for a second, ”What if he’s evil?”
“He’s probably just hangry, I’ll give him one of Auntie Ninny’s waffles.”
Melinda nods sagely before they both burst out laughing.
——
Nina feels helpless and the disappointed looks Kaz keeps giving her don’t help, he must think she doesn’t see it, but she knows. It hurts, but it’s no worse than what she already feels, the disappointment she already feels for herself, the guilt. All she wants is to help Jordie, but she cannot hear his heartbeat as she once would’ve been able to, all she feels is Death, creeping into the room, waiting to claim the child, he doesn’t deserve this.
It’s late at night before she makes her way into the kitchen, unable to sleep. Unsurprisingly, no one else has been able to either. Kaz and Inej sit at the table, both staring out into nothing, Jesper is sitting on the counter, hugging Wylan as he stands between his legs, his face pressed against Jesper’s chest. Only Matthias had been able to sleep, and even then he’s been mumbling things.
“Mind if I join you?” Her voice feels small in the heavy silence that blankets them all, any traces of hope are gone. No one acknowledges her fully, Inej sort of nods and Nina plops down in a chair, at least she can worry in the company of everyone else.
It’s even later in the night before she asks to speak with Kaz after Inej finally made her way to bed and after Jesper and Wylan did too.
“He isn’t getting any better,” How is she meant to say this?
“Obviously.” Kaz’s glares, she tries not to take it to heart.
“I can help him, Kaz.” She knows he understands fully and the look he gives her confirms her suspicion.
“No, Zenik, you cannot.” He looks down, but there’s no mistaking it.
“Brekker, give it to me, and maybe I can have a chance to save him,” Tears well in Nina’s eyes, “You and I both know this is our only option, Death hangs in the air, it’s waiting for the first moment of weakness from him.”
Kaz sighs, running a hand through that haircut of his, Nina knows it’s a hard decision, but she knows what he’ll say.
“I don’t have any.”
“Liar.”
Defeat is apparent in his posture, only the possible death of his son would make Kaz Brekker lie down like this, “Do you really think you could save him? Even after the change?”
Nina raises her chin, “I’d rather know I did my damned best than give up and just let him die.”
If only Eskil were here, if only he and Ava hadn’t taken the twins and gone to visit Ava’s grandparents, if only he weren’t in Ravka, if only he could save Jordie, if only… She pushes the ‘what if’s away” there’s not time for them now.
“How much parem will you need?”
Kaz:Jesper, why are you wearing that huge bow?
Jesper:Because it’s Christmas and I’m Ghezen’s gift to the world
Kaz:*smiles*
Jesper:…Is that a threat?
You’ve heard of kanej death trope but what about WESPER DEATH TROPE- Wylan dies BEFORE JESPER because he’s not grisha,, but that would still be a peaceful death-
But what if he dies in a heist that he didn’t wanna go on, but he went for Jesper, and got shot. There’s blood everywhere and even Kaz is beginning to panic. Jesper keeps trying to use his powers to get the bullet out but he’s not skilled enough to. So Wylan dies in his arms, Inej cries and prays and wishes Nina were there to save him, Kaz blinks back tears and thinks “I never thought I’d have to bury one of my own”. Jesper blames himself forever and distances himself from kaz. The crows fall apart.
Many years later Kanej have a kid and name him wylan.
SOMEONE PUT THIS INTO BETTER WORDS-
Any relevant content warnings are included in the tags/notes of each work. Please check tags and full synopses for more details. Inspirations/prompts are credited in the relevant fic.
Ace (15.4k words) [Kaz/Inej, general relationships] - As Kaz and Inej slowly begin to work through their trauma and their relationship becomes more physical, Inej’s thoughts turn to intimacy and sex - and whether the latter is something she even wants from their relationship. A loving depiction of an asexual relationship between an aspec Kaz and Inej. Contains discussions of sex and some on-the-page sensual and sexual intimacy.
A Hotel on the Board is Worth Two on the Geldstraat(23.7k words) [Kaz/Inej, Jesper/Wylan, Nina/Matthias, general relationships] - When the Crows discover a Monopoly board amongst a shipment of contraband, all other plans get postponed. Until, that is, they discover that the Razorgulls have made off with the rest of the contraband. Boardgame hijinks and heists ensue. Written as part of the Grishaverse Big Bang 2021.
A Push In The Right Direction (5.3k words) [Kaz/Inej, Jesper/Wylan, Nina/Matthias, general relationships] - A young boy walks home from school in Ketterdam one evening, pondering what he has learned of the city from his mother’s warnings, and running across a few familiar faces. An exploration of what Ketterdam could become in the aftermath of SoC/CK, and where the characters might be thirty years on from their heist. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
Blood on Marble Tiled Floors (2.9k words) [Kaz/Inej] - The Bathroom Scene, but reversed. Kaz has rather predictably taken another beating in a street fight, and has made it back to the Van Eck mansion to sort himself out. Inej finds him dripping blood all over the bathroom, and offers to help him clean up. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
Heterosexual Mercher Function (2.6k words) [Jesper/Wylan] - Kaz takes full advantage of Wylan’s connections and makes both him and Jesper stake out a mercher ball. Turns out that Wylan can fit in among the gentry far better than Jesper had expected. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
Hope is the thing with Feathers (6.5k words) [Kaz/Inej, general relationships] - Captain Inej Ghafa has returned to Ketterdam for the first time in three years, and reunites with her old gang mates. She has no idea what to expect from seeing Kaz, Jesper, and Wylan again, but it certainly wasn’t an invitation to tea at the Slat with Kaz following their evening meal. Written for the Grishaverse Reverse Mini-Bang 2021.
A2k word version written specifically for the Mini-Bang can also be found here.
Hotwiring A Van Is Easier In Principle (8.5k words) [Nina/Matthias, Kaz/Inej, Jesper/Wylan] - In a modern AU, the Crows all go on a road trip together. But the van breaks down just a few miles away from the nearest garage. Told in three parts, each following one of the couples until they can get back on the road and continue their journey.
If At First You Don’t Succeed (6.2k words) [Kaz/Inej, general relationships] - Kaz and Inej use flowers as a way to communicate their love for each other without needing to express it verbally or physically. But when a mistake leads to Inej feeling unsafe in their home, it will take more than just flowers for Kaz to reassure her of his intentions.
Love Languages in a Time Of Touch Aversion (3.7k words) [Kaz/Inej] - Incomplete. When trying to be intimate together while still considering their limitations, Kaz is struck by how much he loves Inej’s hair. A new love language is born.
On His Mind (3.4k words) [Kaz/Inej] - As much as Kaz knows he has to let Inej leave, it doesn’t sit right with him. His subconscious makes him confront this decision to let her go through a series of dreams, finally prompting him to reconsider his priorities. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
Oranges for Breakfast (3.1k words) [Kaz/Inej] - After Kaz buys Inej The Wraith, she feels that it is important to clarify that little gestures mean more to her than grand ones. Kaz eventually gets it right. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
Reasons To Start A Snowball Fight (2.4k words) [Nina/Matthias] - Nina and Matthias are in Fjerda for a holiday. With most places shut down for the winter, Nina decides to take advantage of Matthias’ traditional tastes and buys herself a sweater so that they can embrace the snow and have some fun. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
Sleepover (3.4k words) [Kaz/Inej, general relationships] - After a lovely meal at the Van Eck mansion with himself, Inej and Jesper, Wylan manages to convince Kaz to spend the night. Inej is delighted. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
Smile (2.7k words) [Kaz/Inej, general relationships] - Set pre-Six of Crows, Inej realises that nobody has ever seen Kaz smile and so sets out on a private mission to see him do so. Nina and Jesper are incredulous, but apparently all it takes is Inej making accidental innuendos. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
Sun on Christmas Day (5.7k words) [Jesper/Wylan] - The cold grey winters in Ketterdam are making Wylan miserable, so Jesper suggests that they visit his father and spend Christmas in Novyi Zem. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
Swings and Roundabouts (3.2k words) [Kaz/Inej] - A Suli carnival comes to Ketterdam, and Inej is permitted to use their acrobatics equipment. Kaz joins her one morning. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
The Right Fit (5.3k words) [Kaz/Inej, general relationships] - Inspired by some brief dialogue in the Shadow and Bone Netflix show, this is the time in which Kaz picked up a man’s uniform for Inej while on a mission and realised that she was exactly the person he wanted on his side - and perhaps even by his side.
The Time Kaz Made An Innuendo On A Stake-Out (2k words) [Kaz/Inej] - Kaz might be a tiny bit desperate to make Inej laugh, but he absolutely didn’t want it to be because of an unfortunate misreading. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
Think Less (2.7k words) [Kaz/Inej] - Kaz and Inej work through Kaz’s busy thoughts in order to allow themselves a first kiss. Turns out that he thinks a lot less when he’s focused on kissing Inej. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
Tricks Only A Con Artist Knows (3.3k words) [Kaz/Inej] - While on a business trip in Ravka, Kaz and Inej visit a fair. Kaz finally relaxes, and Inej gets to take advantage of Kaz’s softer side as they enjoy the beach, local delicacies, and mildly appropriative magic shows that a Ravkan fair can offer. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
What Counts as a Love Language? (2.2k words) [Nina/Matthias, Jesper/Wylan, general relationships] - While the Crows (minus Kaz) are drinking in the Crow Club, Nina makes a bet with Jesper over who can make their boyfriend blush the most. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
White Sheets, Black Hair (1.4k words) [Kaz/Inej] - Kaz and Inej share a bed for the first time. It takes some minor discomfort and boundary setting, but they wouldn’t miss out on it for the world. Written as part of SOFTober 2020.
ketterdam bfs heyyyy
