#incorrect disney princess quotes
Mulan: *puts salt in Snow White’s coffee and hands it to her*
Snow White:*sips coffee*
Mulan:
Snow White: *drinks the whole cup*
Mulan: Hum… Didn’t the coffee taste weird?
Snow White: Well, yes. But I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, so I drank it all.
Mulan, tearing up: Oh… Okay-
*Tiana and Jasmine at the McDonald’sdrive-thru*
Tiana: I’ll have the 20 piece McNuggets with fries and… what did you want again?
Jasmine:You~*winks*
Tiana: Jasmine, there are three cars behind us, hurry the fuck up.
Elsa: What’s for dinner?
Rapunzel: I can’t tell you… It’s a soup-rise.
Elsa: Is it soup?
Rapunzel:Isoup-pouse it could be-
Elsa: Enough with the soup puns.
Rapunzel:*sigh* You never soup-port my jokes.
(…)
Elsa: It was fucking tacos.
Cinderella:*spots Mulan, Merida, Moana and Raya sitting on a bench*
Cinderella: Why do you guys look so uncomfortable?
Merida: Sit down with us, so we can tell you.
Cinderella: *sits down*
Mulan: This bench is freshly painted.
Cinderella:
Jasmine: Who would win in a fight between Merida and Pocahontas?
Rapunzel: I can’t answer that, Merida is my girlfriend.
Jasmine: So Pocahontas?
Rapunzel:Obviously.
Snow White: I really want Elsa to like me back.
Cinderella: You gotta use what God gave you.
Snow White: What did God give me?
Cinderella: Your beauty.
Aurora: That’s a weird way to call her ass, but sure.
Anna: Do you want a hug?
Elsa:No
Anna: Did you even hear what I said?
Elsa:Yes.
Anna: What did I say, then?
Elsa: “Do you want a hug?”
Anna: Well, if you insist.
Ariel: I don’t know if they’ll notice, but I slipped a little note in each of the Princesses bags to let them know I love them!
(…)
Moana, pulling out a 10 page letter: What the fuck-
Raya: What state did you live in?
Elsa:Anxiety.
Anna:Delusion.
Merida:Anger.
Jasmine:Perfection.
Mulan:China.
Bele: China’s a fucking country.
*Raya meeting Vanellope for the first time*
Raya:Awn,smol!
Vanellope: I’m not small!
Raya:Awnn,smolandangwy!
Vanellope: *screams and runs to Snow White*
Raya:Awwnnn!Smol,angwy and loud!
[Merida]HSUAHAUWHSUSUAUWU
[Pocahontas] what’s that?
[Anna] a keyboard smash
[Pocahontas] a what?
[Belle] it’s a way of expressing laughter
[Pocahontas] how do I do that?
[Anna] just press anything
[Pocahontas]7
[Anna]HAUSHAUAUAUUAUSUS
Vanellope: Those bumper cars were fun!
Belle: That was the parking lot, Vanellope!
Belle: Who in the world is teaching you to drive like a maniac?!
[Hans, texting Anna (his ex)] so true exie
[Anna] I don’t like this
Honeymaren: Hey… you know Elsa?
Ryder:Yep.
Honeymaren: I like her.
Ryder:Oh.
Honeymaren: But don’t say anything, please.
Ryder: Sure, sure. Don’t worry about it.
*Elsa walks in the room*
Ryder: DAMN, ELSA! YOU AIMED FOR THE HEAD BUT GOT HER RIGHT IN THE HEART-
Honeymaren:*smacking Ryder while he laughs uncontrollably*
Elsa:
Snow White: So, are you guys getting along with Namaari?
Nancy: Definitely! She is a little hot-headed, but nothing I can’t handle.
Jane: What about your girls and Raya?
Snow White: It’s good! Great!
Nancy:But…?
Snow White: Let’s just say she is a bit impulsive… especially around pretty girls.
Jane: How so?
Snow White: Well… ever since Raya joined us, she already got scamed three times and gave our credit-card informations to a cute barista from the mall.
Mulan: Merida, hide!
Merida:??
Mulan: Your etiquette teacher is here. Aren’t you absent today?
Merida: I am.
Mulan: Then hide, you idiot!
Merida: No, you hide! I told them you’re dead, that’s why I didn’t go to school today!
Cinderella: What were you two doing out so late?
Merida: We, hum-
Cinderella: Ten words, or else…
Moana, counting on her fingers:We. Threw. Punches. At. Some. People. In. A. Fight.
Cinderella: That’s only nine-
Merida, still counting:Bitch.
*Elsa meeting Hans and finding out about his 5 minute relationship with Anna*
Elsa:
Elsa: Sweetheart, your vagina need glasses. He’s not worth it.
Anna:Elsa!
Cinderella: Why did you agree to being fake married to Namaari?
Raya: C'mon, Ella! A chance at seeing you arch nemesis getting on their knees before you and begin in front of everyone?
Raya: And being able to casually accept as if you don’t care at all??
Raya: How could I resist?
Aurora: If you could date any of us, who would it be?
Tiana: Ew! None of you!
Aurora: I thought you liked women?
Tiana: Oh, I do. I like women. I just don’t like you guys.
Aurora: Well, your loss.
Aurora:*drinks a slice of pizza she just put in the blender*