#incorrect disney princesses quotes

Mulan: *puts salt in Snow White’s coffee and hands it to her*

Snow White:*sips coffee*

Mulan:

Snow White: *drinks the whole cup*

Mulan: Hum… Didn’t the coffee taste weird?

Snow White: Well, yes. But I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, so I drank it all.

Mulan, tearing up: Oh… Okay-

*Tiana and Jasmine at the McDonald’sdrive-thru*

Tiana: I’ll have the 20 piece McNuggets with fries and… what did you want again?

Jasmine:You~*winks*

Tiana: Jasmine, there are three cars behind us, hurry the fuck up.

Elsa: What’s for dinner?

Rapunzel: I can’t tell you… It’s a soup-rise.

Elsa: Is it soup?

Rapunzel:Isoup-pouse it could be-

Elsa: Enough with the soup puns.

Rapunzel:*sigh* You never soup-port my jokes.

(…)

Elsa: It was fucking tacos.

Cinderella:*spots Mulan, Merida, Moana and Raya sitting on a bench*

Cinderella: Why do you guys look so uncomfortable?

Merida: Sit down with us, so we can tell you.

Cinderella: *sits down*

Mulan: This bench is freshly painted.

Cinderella:

Jasmine: Who would win in a fight between Merida and Pocahontas?

Rapunzel: I can’t answer that, Merida is my girlfriend.

Jasmine: So Pocahontas?

Rapunzel:Obviously.

Snow White: I really want Elsa to like me back.

Cinderella: You gotta use what God gave you.

Snow White: What did God give me?

Cinderella: Your beauty.

Aurora: That’s a weird way to call her ass, but sure.

Anna: Do you want a hug?

Elsa:No

Anna: Did you even hear what I said?

Elsa:Yes.

Anna: What did I say, then?

Elsa: “Do you want a hug?”

Anna: Well, if you insist.

Ariel: I don’t know if they’ll notice, but I slipped a little note in each of the Princesses bags to let them know I love them!

(…)

Moana, pulling out a 10 page letter: What the fuck-

Raya: What state did you live in?

Elsa:Anxiety.

Anna:Delusion.

Merida:Anger.

Jasmine:Perfection.

Mulan:China.

Bele: China’s a fucking country.

*Raya meeting Vanellope for the first time*

Raya:Awn,smol!

Vanellope: I’m not small!

Raya:Awnn,smolandangwy!

Vanellope: *screams and runs to Snow White*

Raya:Awwnnn!Smol,angwy and loud!

[Merida]HSUAHAUWHSUSUAUWU

[Pocahontas] what’s that?

[Anna] a keyboard smash

[Pocahontas] a what?

[Belle] it’s a way of expressing laughter

[Pocahontas] how do I do that?

[Anna] just press anything

[Pocahontas]7

[Anna]HAUSHAUAUAUUAUSUS

Vanellope: Those bumper cars were fun!

Belle: That was the parking lot, Vanellope!

Belle: Who in the world is teaching you to drive like a maniac?!

[Hans, texting Anna (his ex)] so true exie

[Anna] I don’t like this

Honeymaren: Hey… you know Elsa?

Ryder:Yep.

Honeymaren: I like her.

Ryder:Oh.

Honeymaren: But don’t say anything, please.

Ryder: Sure, sure. Don’t worry about it.

*Elsa walks in the room*

Ryder: DAMN, ELSA! YOU AIMED FOR THE HEAD BUT GOT HER RIGHT IN THE HEART-

Honeymaren:*smacking Ryder while he laughs uncontrollably*

Elsa:

Snow White: So, are you guys getting along with Namaari?

Nancy: Definitely! She is a little hot-headed, but nothing I can’t handle.

Jane: What about your girls and Raya?

Snow White: It’s good! Great!

Nancy:But…?

Snow White: Let’s just say she is a bit impulsive… especially around pretty girls.

Jane: How so?

Snow White: Well… ever since Raya joined us, she already got scamed three times and gave our credit-card informations to a cute barista from the mall.

Mulan: Merida, hide!

Merida:??

Mulan: Your etiquette teacher is here. Aren’t you absent today?

Merida: I am.

Mulan: Then hide, you idiot!

Merida: No, you hide! I told them you’re dead, that’s why I didn’t go to school today!

Cinderella: What were you two doing out so late?

Merida: We, hum-

Cinderella: Ten words, or else…

Moana, counting on her fingers:We. Threw. Punches. At. Some. People. In. A. Fight.

Cinderella: That’s only nine-

Merida, still counting:Bitch.

*Elsa meeting Hans and finding out about his 5 minute relationship with Anna*

Elsa:

Elsa: Sweetheart, your vagina need glasses. He’s not worth it.

Anna:Elsa!

Cinderella: Why did you agree to being fake married to Namaari?

Raya: C'mon, Ella! A chance at seeing you arch nemesis getting on their knees before you and begin in front of everyone?

Raya: And being able to casually accept as if you don’t care at all??

Raya: How could I resist?

Aurora: If you could date any of us, who would it be?

Tiana: Ew! None of you!

Aurora: I thought you liked women?

Tiana: Oh, I do. I like women. I just don’t like you guys.

Aurora: Well, your loss.

Aurora:*drinks a slice of pizza she just put in the blender*