#incorrect disney quotes

“I may not be as powerful as Ursula…or as smart, or litigious, or persuasive, or menacing, or able to werq as well, or be as interesting, or be nearly as fun…but…………”

-Morgana

Mulan: *puts salt in Snow White’s coffee and hands it to her*

Snow White:*sips coffee*

Mulan:

Snow White: *drinks the whole cup*

Mulan: Hum… Didn’t the coffee taste weird?

Snow White: Well, yes. But I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, so I drank it all.

Mulan, tearing up: Oh… Okay-

*Tiana and Jasmine at the McDonald’sdrive-thru*

Tiana: I’ll have the 20 piece McNuggets with fries and… what did you want again?

Jasmine:You~*winks*

Tiana: Jasmine, there are three cars behind us, hurry the fuck up.

Elsa: What’s for dinner?

Rapunzel: I can’t tell you… It’s a soup-rise.

Elsa: Is it soup?

Rapunzel:Isoup-pouse it could be-

Elsa: Enough with the soup puns.

Rapunzel:*sigh* You never soup-port my jokes.

(…)

Elsa: It was fucking tacos.

Cinderella:*spots Mulan, Merida, Moana and Raya sitting on a bench*

Cinderella: Why do you guys look so uncomfortable?

Merida: Sit down with us, so we can tell you.

Cinderella: *sits down*

Mulan: This bench is freshly painted.

Cinderella:

Jasmine: Who would win in a fight between Merida and Pocahontas?

Rapunzel: I can’t answer that, Merida is my girlfriend.

Jasmine: So Pocahontas?

Rapunzel:Obviously.

Snow White: I really want Elsa to like me back.

Cinderella: You gotta use what God gave you.

Snow White: What did God give me?

Cinderella: Your beauty.

Aurora: That’s a weird way to call her ass, but sure.

Anna: Do you want a hug?

Elsa:No

Anna: Did you even hear what I said?

Elsa:Yes.

Anna: What did I say, then?

Elsa: “Do you want a hug?”

Anna: Well, if you insist.

Ariel: I don’t know if they’ll notice, but I slipped a little note in each of the Princesses bags to let them know I love them!

(…)

Moana, pulling out a 10 page letter: What the fuck-

Raya: What state did you live in?

Elsa:Anxiety.

Anna:Delusion.

Merida:Anger.

Jasmine:Perfection.

Mulan:China.

Bele: China’s a fucking country.

*Raya meeting Vanellope for the first time*

Raya:Awn,smol!

Vanellope: I’m not small!

Raya:Awnn,smolandangwy!

Vanellope: *screams and runs to Snow White*

Raya:Awwnnn!Smol,angwy and loud!

[Merida]HSUAHAUWHSUSUAUWU

[Pocahontas] what’s that?

[Anna] a keyboard smash

[Pocahontas] a what?

[Belle] it’s a way of expressing laughter

[Pocahontas] how do I do that?

[Anna] just press anything

[Pocahontas]7

[Anna]HAUSHAUAUAUUAUSUS

Vanellope: Those bumper cars were fun!

Belle: That was the parking lot, Vanellope!

Belle: Who in the world is teaching you to drive like a maniac?!

[Hans, texting Anna (his ex)] so true exie

[Anna] I don’t like this

Honeymaren: Hey… you know Elsa?

Ryder:Yep.

Honeymaren: I like her.

Ryder:Oh.

Honeymaren: But don’t say anything, please.

Ryder: Sure, sure. Don’t worry about it.

*Elsa walks in the room*

Ryder: DAMN, ELSA! YOU AIMED FOR THE HEAD BUT GOT HER RIGHT IN THE HEART-

Honeymaren:*smacking Ryder while he laughs uncontrollably*

Elsa:

Snow White: So, are you guys getting along with Namaari?

Nancy: Definitely! She is a little hot-headed, but nothing I can’t handle.

Jane: What about your girls and Raya?

Snow White: It’s good! Great!

Nancy:But…?

Snow White: Let’s just say she is a bit impulsive… especially around pretty girls.

Jane: How so?

Snow White: Well… ever since Raya joined us, she already got scamed three times and gave our credit-card informations to a cute barista from the mall.

Mulan: Merida, hide!

Merida:??

Mulan: Your etiquette teacher is here. Aren’t you absent today?

Merida: I am.

Mulan: Then hide, you idiot!

Merida: No, you hide! I told them you’re dead, that’s why I didn’t go to school today!

Frollo: I’ll kill you!

Phoebus: But you can’t, sir. That’s illegal.

Frollo: You think that will stop me-

Phoebus: It. Is. Illegal. Sir.

Cinderella: What were you two doing out so late?

Merida: We, hum-

Cinderella: Ten words, or else…

Moana, counting on her fingers:We. Threw. Punches. At. Some. People. In. A. Fight.

Cinderella: That’s only nine-

Merida, still counting:Bitch.

*Elsa meeting Hans and finding out about his 5 minute relationship with Anna*

Elsa:

Elsa: Sweetheart, your vagina need glasses. He’s not worth it.

Anna:Elsa!