#incorrect quote
Mirajane: Master, you look stressed.
Makarov: Thanks, it’s the stress
Kidnapper:We have Natsu!
Gray: You poor bastard
Lyon: you’re really campaigning for Asshole of the Year, aren’t you?
Gray: as defending champion, are you nervous?
Loke: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking ‘are we about to kiss?’
Loke: Doesn’t work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.
Bickslow: Could you take Laxus?
Freed:Easily.
Freed: Oh, you meant fight
Levy:You stare at your coffee hoping it gives you perspective and sanity and the ability to make sense of it all and that’s a lot to ask of your coffee
Ultear: Something’s off.
Jellal: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.
Ultear: No, but that’s funny.
Laxus: Careful, if you keep being so sweet people are going to start thinking that you’re in love with me.
Freed: What could I have ever possibly done to make you think I’m not?
Cana: *rolls car window down* What seems to be the problem, officer?
Officer: Get out of my car
Natsu: Lucy, you love me a lot, right?
Lucy: Usually I’d say yes without hesitation, but I think you’ve done something and it has gone horribly, horribly wrong
Freed: What I’m about to tell you is going to make you want to kill me.
Laxus: I’m not going to kill you,Freed.
Laxus: It takes too much time to break in a new best friend.
Erza: Well, you know what they say - hindsight is 20/20.
Lucy:
Lucy: It kind of seems like regular sight should have caught that one.
Juvia: Juvia’s having boyfriend-girlfriend issues with you.
Gray: …We aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend though.
Juvia: Yeah, that’s the issue.
Zeref: So, what do you look for in a partner?
Mavis: A pulse, usually.
Zeref: *slams fist on the table* fuck
“I never miss the person post a relationship, but the image I had created” — that’s what you had told me once. And now, many days later, when we no longer hold each other and there’s not much to say — I want to ask you which image of mine do you miss the most? Do you miss the person, who used to tell you that your eyes are beautiful? Or do you miss the person who loved hearing his name when you’d call? Do you miss the person you were planning to go out with? Or the person who sat by the lake and heard your stories?
“If you had a dream of someone, it is because they miss you”, they say — so do you see me in your dreams as the person you thought I was? or have you forgotten me because you had realised that I’m not the person you thought I was?
— memoirsofbilal (via Instagram) // because I miss the image I had created for us
Lisa: Are you a cuddler ?
Dracula: I AM A MACHINE OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION !
Death: Yeah he’s a cuddler.
Dracula:HISSSSSSSSSS
Dracula: *Throws himself seductively against the wall* Oh, no ! You found my secret lair !
Belmont: Well, it’s a giant weird castle in the middle of nowhere…
Dracula: I hope you don’t whip out your stake and drive it into me !
Belmont: I… only have a whip.
Death: God, you’re never gonna get laid.
Richter: I am a responsible adult!
Every single castlevania character ever: *raises brow*
Richter: I am an adult.
Death: I shall take your soul !
Walter: Jokes on you, I don’t have a soul. *dies*
Death:
Death: Shit I forgot about that.
Leon: …Well that’s awkward.
Leon: Remember what I told you.
Mathias, sighing: Don’t be a cunt.
