Hi! It is me. I’m working on two books now. I have evolved. Have you guessed it has something to do with Louis XIV?

It has something to do with four generations of Bourbons. I get to write it with my best friend I met here on Tumblr over five years ago. @fortunatelyclevercandy. We have a Tumblr: @thesecretofthehouseofbourbonbook and it’s newsfeed: @newsfromthehouseofbourbon

I haven’t been the same since I was allowed to sit on the throne of Mirkwood for @tkwrtrilogy. Now, I have to rule them all. I get rule France as Henri IV, Louis XIII, and Louis XIV. My co-author gets the privilege of being my little brothers; Gaston Duc d’Orléans and Philippe I, Duc d'Orléans (Monsieur) respectively.

This is not a fan fiction. This is the story history never told you about. We hope you will enjoy it. If you have started reading here, please continue with Louis XIII. But The Sun King is on his way this fall.

Written in English, French, Spanish, and Italian where applicable.

I was in love with the idea, not the man. And in the end, ideas stay with us longer than any man ever could.

My Heart Bleeds Poetry #39

Charlene Pablo ( via @inevitable-realities)

My Friday morning tasted like salt and despair

Tastes like “I don’t care” but I do

Tastes like failure

Tastes like I don’t know

But it tastes

It’s bitter

It’s unloving

It’s uncaring

It’s my smeared makeup

My stuffed nose

My wet cheeks

Kiss me

Kiss me Friday morning

So I know just how bitter sweet you are

My stiff face

My cold fingertips

Your warm discouragement

Our cold heart

My hot head

What should we make of this?

A sigh of capitulation

I am Friday morning

I’ve tried journaling so many times & I often fall off or am not consistent. This daily prompt has been the only one to work for me consistently so far. I found out about the fears & resentments list from a channel on YouTube called Crappy Childhood Fairy. It’s not only good for releasing “normal” day-to-day fears, but have helped me so much in healing my trauma that has been at work on a subconscious level.

Because a lot of the time (every day) Im healing a different aspect of my trauma, I felt it was needed to add in a list of things that Im proud of myself for & a gratitude list. It reminds me that I am further in my healing than I give myself props for & helps ground me in the present.

Another personal touch that helps me is listening to meditation music, rain sounds, or just about any relaxing music that will help me as I write and process ♥️

Another #selfhelp hack especially for those that have trouble organizing their thoughts ( like me) or have planners leftover from school.

How I make the prompt work for me is writing the fears/resentments [Step 1] on either a separate notebook or way in the back of the planner where the “notes” section is.

For [Step 2 ] Things I’m proud of myself for/Gratitude list- I use the boxes that are in the daily notes behind the calendar

For [step 3] “ I am” statements

I actually wait until Sunday to do. In the “ weekly to do” section I write a gratitude list based on the entire week & the in the empty box next to it I write my “ I am” statements to set the tone & energy of the upcoming week. *even if your handwriting is too big to fit info these tiny boxes, this layout is a great way to organize your thoughts*

Get creative!

a is for afterthought

but what thought came before?

could a thought be fought for,

darling, or is it the sort to walk out the door?

there is

that feeling of heaviness,

like drowing in a river of frustration.

but at some point,

right now,

doesn’t life seems to be on pause.

far from the hustle and bustle,

finding in old books smell, the little walks you are allowed to have, seeing birds flying out in the sky, in that sunray kissing the face and the moon giving us company at night,

some peace to your restlessness?

How often do you catch yourself digging up the past.

Thinking about how, at some stage of your life, 

someone can hold such an importance to you, 

being so close to them. 

You share such an intimacy, 

sharing your thoughts, 

ambitions and fears, feelings. 

Your life. 

And since it is just a matter of time, 

things fade away, 

everything is different 

and won’t be the same anymore. 

You just get stuck in that time. 

You hold on it, 

just for the sake of what it was, 

lying to yourself.

You just swim in that ocean of memories, 

in what is now, 

some toxic water. 

Paris, october 2020 | @miraakle_

“the lows burry me beneath the rubble of hell but the highs no drug in the world can parallel” - d.c.

“we were two silhouettes

on a cobblestone path

wading through the orange blood of lamplight

our liquor-laden limbs

lassoed around each other

our fingertips

sizzling with sin”

- d.c.

writing female villains

[@/moonlit_sunflower_books on ig]

we’re all simps for women with swords, and I love a good female villain. but there are some ways that i think female villains can be really great and certain tropes that i think can be harmful.

this is just based on my personal opinion and amateur experience - i’m not a professional writer, so always do your own research! i’m also always open to friendly debate and constructive feedback :)

also, @/bluebxlle_writer on instagram also has an awesome post on writing female villains and their account is generally wonderful, so go and check that out too!

make them flawed

i have another entire post on this, but writing Strong Female Characters often means that your women are completely flawless - they win every fight, they don’t let themselves be tricked, they see every obstacle coming. not only is this unrealistic, it makes for an incredibly flat character.

making your female villains flawed proves that women can be strong and still fail, and gives your protagonist the opportunity to succeed sometimes as well.

make them emotional

i included this specifically for female villains, because once again, while creating strong women it’s very easy to make them emotionless and stoic. but when your villains feel love and despair and hope and excitement and sorrow, it makes them more human. it also again removes expectations that strong women need to have no emotion in order to be perceived as strong.

a three-dimensional backstory

just because your villain is a woman, her backstory doesn’t have to be losing a significant other. let them be driven by emotion, but don’t let that emotion be approval from men or love for another man. a female villain can have as complex stories and motivations as male villains, such as revenge, immortality, power, or even greed - not just love.

“femme fatale” characters

“femme fatale” is a character archetype of a mysterious, beautiful, and seductive woman ensnares her lovers and leads them into traps. she essentially hypnotises them with her beauty and takes advantage of their attraction to her.

the hyper-sexualisation of female villains is something that really bothers me, and while i make many jokes about being attracted to women with swords, this once again comes under the idea of women being solely made for love and/or sex.

make your female villains diverse. let them be ugly and gory and ruthless and maybe aro/ace and let them have more skill than just seduction, because women do not exist for male pleasure.

make sure they’re not subservient to male villains

lastly, almost all female villains are subservient to male villains, which diminishes their agency and individual power. let your female villain be a villain in her own right, without serving men!

books i love and why you should read them

1. instructions for dancing by nicola yoon

• absolutely perfect meet-cute
• made me question my existence multiple times in the best way possible
• comfort book tbh
• basically changed the entire way that i look like love and life
• such realistic, raw emotion??? how?
• the main character has a really dry sense of humour and i love it
• really fast read!! i finished in two days

2. orlando by virginia woolf

• it makes me feel really cool while reading because it has dark academia feminist vibes
• also victoria woolf is a queen
• it’s based on a real life queer love story
• some of the lines just made me sit back and go. oh damn,
• it’s surprisingly easy to read
• (also full disclosure i have Not finished this yet but i love it so far)

3. six of crows duology by leigh bardugo

• be gay, do crime
• six teenagers who don’t know what the fuck they’re doing and manage to break into one of the most secure prisons on the planet and also basically take down a government
• inej ghafa.
• lots of rep!!
• you get the awesome magic from shadow and bone without suffering through alina starkov’s internal monologue
• “my ghost won’t associate with your ghost”
• there’s a massive fandom of chaotic gays so u will find a home among us <3
• the character development is literally flawless

4. scythe trilogy by neal shusterman

• i’m a simp for citra okay i admit it
• but also the worldbuilding of this book is just. perfection
• and it has limited characters but each one is so three-dimensional and you really go into depth about how each one of them thinks and feels and aaaa so good
• the power dynamics that are created between characters are amazing

5. an ember in the ashes quartet by sabaa tahir

• helene aquila. that’s it.
• ok no that’s not it
• but helene aquila and elias veturius are literally perfection; this book was written for the bisexuals /j
• all three main characters are absolutely incredible
• the number of plot twists??? im? how *sobs*
• oh yeah this book will make you sob a lot
• but it is worth it
• the worldbuilding is so solid and i love the way that she uses magic in both the worldbuilding and the character development
• also omg the character relationships? laia and elias and elias and helene and helene and laia and the way that they all develop i can’t
• brown rep <3

6. red white and royal blue by casey mcquinston

• it’s set in an alternate 2020 which was way better than ours so it’s great if you’re into escapism and like to avoid your problems by dissociating into fictional lands
• alex claremont-diaz owns my entire heart
• gay
• gay fluff
• childhood rivals to enemies to reluctant allies in a time of crisis to growing trust to friends with mutual pining to friends with benefits with mutual pining to lovers
• it’s a hell of a rollercoaster
• also lots of politics! if you’re into that kind of thing

7. a court of thorns and roses by sarah j mass

• don’t read it <3

creating sympathetic villains

[@/moonlit_sunflower_books on ig]

hi everyone! today’s post is about creating sympathetic villains, because let’s be honest, the antagonist is the best part of any story /hj. a sympathetic villain is essentially one whose intentions are understandable, but whose actions are not. i hope this post helps!

disclaimer: i am not a professional writer and everything here is based on personal experience and opinion. i am always open to respectful discourse and constructive criticism!

give them reasons

and i don’t necessarily mean a tragic past. give them genuinely sympathetic reasons. maybe they want to save the world by burning it down. maybe they want to wage war on the politicians that have denied them life. maybe they want to secure peace for the people in their country, if they’re a ruler. or maybe they’ve been denied and ignored their entire life and just want to be recognised.

whatever your character’s motivation, it should be something that the reader can sympathise with.

give them a past

yes, we all love characters with a tragic backstory, but don’t stop at ‘their parents were killed when they were young’ or 'their girlfriend betrayed them and now they’re a bad person’ (yes this is me attacking the shadow and bone tv show no im not sorry). any character’s backstory should have depth and reason to it.

take loki from the first avengers movie, for example. he’s a sympathetic villain because we have seen him before in thor movies and we know his relationship with his adoptive father and brother. he was constantly pushed aside and watched his mother die in front of him, neither of which could have been fun. and his relationship with thor is a really strong dynamic that makes the viewer want him to get something out of the conflict.

his past gives him context and reason and the depth of it makes him seem like a character rather than a symbol, which made it easier for the viewer to sympathise.

give them humanity

make your antagonists funny. make them awkward. make them bad at flirting. make them walk into a grocery store and not understand how the self check-out works. i understand the appeal of having an all-powerful fantastical being be the villain, but if your aim is to create a sympathetic one, it’s important that they are shown to be human because that’s what allows the reader to relate to them.

i know i’m using all marvel examples, but if you take hela from thor: ragnarok - she is undoubtedly the evil antagonist, but she’s funny, for goodness sake. also cate blanchett is gorgeous but that’s unrelated, i just had to point it out.

they are not morally gray

there is a very important difference between a morally gray character and a sympathetic villain. a sympathetic villain is one who is, undoubtedly, a Bad Character - they just have understandable motives. they do the wrong things for the (arguably) right reasons - or their reasons have been corrupted by events and/or people, causing the reader to sympathise with them.

a morally gray character, on the other hand, often has the wrong reasons and justifies them anyway. they do a combination and Good and Bad things, unlike the villain who does solely Bad things.

helene aquila from an ember in the ashes is morally gray because she makes hard decisions in the face of crises and is often on the opposite side from laia and elias. she’s arguably a good person with hard luck, and circumstance drives her to make questionable decisions that play on her mind.

the darkling, however, is a sympathetic villain, and i’m going to elaborate on this much more now.

case study: the darkling

okay before we get started: i am NOT a darkling apologist and i do not think any of his actions are excusable. but the fact that so many people on this hellsite think he’s a good person just proves how well leigh bardugo created a sympathetic villain, and i’m going to explain how i think it worked. and yes, this has shadow and bone spoilers.

the darkling is grisha, and through his lifetime he was hunted and therefore hiding and living in perpetual fear (his past). he wanted to create a safe place for the grisha to live and thought the only way they could be safe was if they were feared (his reasons). he also supposedly fell in love with alina (although his is arguable) and that could be seen as his humanity.

rule of wolves spoilers: the end of the rule of wolves where he agrees to make a sacrifice for the good of ravka also gives him some amount of humanity.

all of the above make the reader sympathise with his intentions and are probably smitten with ben barnes’ face which makes it easier. however, literally none of his actions are excusable. he manipulated teenage girls, kissed alina pretending to be mal, literally bound her to his power with an amplifier that completely eliminated her agency, created creatures that blinded his own mother and cut off one of his students’ arms, and attempted to expand a physical darkness to take over the entire world. excusable? i think not.

his initial desire for safety is what the reader sympathises with. but the darkling uses that as a jumping-off point to go completely off the rails and essentially lose any sense of boundaries or limits on even his own power, which undoubtedly makes him the villain. not a single one of his actions are excusable.

I am sooo soooo sorry for the lack of content and fanfiction that I failed to produce this year. 2020 has been a shit of a year and I could not seem to force myself to write anything. 

That being said, I have plans to make up for it in 2021. I’m planning out and writing out stories to be published once a week.  

I’ll post a new fanfic every Friday. We’ll call it FanFic Fri-yays! Be on the lookout tonight tho for my first ever SMUT fanfiction and please think of it as a fresh start and more cheerful things to come.

memoirsofbilal on instagram

http://instagram.com/memoirsofbilal

I waited for this for months and it’s finally out now.

“I loved you unconditionally, but you gave me so much in return. I loved you yet couldn’t make you happy, but you gifted me with hurt and sadness. You gave me loneliness, denial, chaos, guilt, regret and all the things I didn’t expect. It seems like you gave me more than I could’ve ever given to you and I only had love, which wasn’t good enough.”

— memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)

“I never miss the person post a relationship, but the image I had created” — that’s what you had told me once. And now, many days later, when we no longer hold each other and there’s not much to say — I want to ask you which image of mine do you miss the most? Do you miss the person, who used to tell you that your eyes are beautiful? Or do you miss the person who loved hearing his name when you’d call? Do you miss the person you were planning to go out with? Or the person who sat by the lake and heard your stories?

“If you had a dream of someone, it is because they miss you”, they say — so do you see me in your dreams as the person you thought I was? or have you forgotten me because you had realised that I’m not the person you thought I was?

— memoirsofbilal (via Instagram) // because I miss the image I had created for us

“I know you gave your attention, your affection to this person you thought was your soulmate and it’s okay. It happens. No one will blame you. I know they didn’t feel the same, their feelings changed, they left you and it’s okay, it happens. No one should blame them. I know you’d open the door for them to walk in again if they knock without a thought and it’s not okay. One day, you will only wake up to regret it. Let go of people who bring negativity into your space and take as long as you want to get through it. In the meantime, learn to give all the attention and affection to yourself, when you feel the time is right to share it with someone new — do it. But make sure, the attention and affection is shared with the same person. Please don’t end up giving your affection to the present leaving all the attention in your past.” by memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)

— past and present

“I don’t understand why I keep things that I no longer need. For example — flower in my books, a white shirt I probably wouldn’t wear, ripped pair of shoes and your memories.”

— memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)